/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.19801923]

>post my mums cooking
>get insulted
>post my own cooking
>get insulted
Sick of it

[Anonymous No.19801927]

>>19801923
I've seen worse don't worry
Keep at it it just takes practice

[Anonymous No.19801934]

>>19801923
1% of people in this board can or actually cook; don't take it personally.

[Anonymous No.19801940]

get gid n00b

[Anonymous No.19801942]

Show us an example, buddy. I'm a very kind man and I'm always up for OC.

[Anonymous No.19801951]

>>19801923
>Post my wife's cooking
>Insulted
>Post my cooking
>"Wow anon that looks good"

[Anonymous No.19801954]

>>19801923
Keep your chin up and heart strong. Most people don't have a mother who they can share a meal with, savor every moment.

[Anonymous No.19801979]

>>19801934
I made cascatelli ala vodka with shrimps

[Anonymous No.19801981]

>>19801979
That looks really good desu

[Anonymous No.19802008]

>>19801981
Thanks, yeah, it's good, cascatelli is a really good pasta shape for sauces, it's a pleddit meme but even a broken watch is right a couple times a day

[Anonymous No.19802016]

>>19801979
Looks tasty. I'll eat it. Where's my dinner invite?

[Anonymous No.19802021]

>>19802016
Thanks, I'll send them out if and when I win a /ck/ challenge, we really need to bring them back in force

[Anonymous No.19802022]

>>19801979
>seafood pasta
in the trash it goes

[Anonymous No.19802026]

>>19801942
My first attempt at hamburgers

[Anonymous No.19802027]

>>19801942
My mums horse meat and sweet potato

[Anonymous No.19802030]

>>19801942
My mums liver and blood sausage

[Anonymous No.19802033]

>>19802022
At some point you'll want to live with a woman that you can sleep with

[Anonymous No.19802052]

>>19802030
>>19802027
>>19802026
Would eat/10

[Anonymous No.19802082]

>>19801923
pictures=/=taste

[Anonymous No.19802088]

>>19801923
it's a little raw

[Anonymous No.19802112]

>>19801979
>mise en place
bro clean as you cook and have everything you need prepped and ready to go. Those onion skins should have been in the trash before you even turned the stove on.

[Anonymous No.19802117]

>>19802112
Get fucked I clean as I cook and you've literally replied to a picture with mise bowls

[Anonymous No.19802132]

>>19802026
no anons were right for informing you this was a failed attempt.
The shape is right and that's what most people get wrong so you have a good start but your cooking method is way off.
I'm guessing you pan fried them with a little butter/oil to start and the were 70/30 beef? and you wound up with these greasy abominations.
Use 85/15% beef and don't add any oil but don't move them until a crust if formed or they will rip apart

[Anonymous No.19802147]

>>19802117
then why are there onion skins on the counter when you are plating you dish.
>literally replied to a picture with mise bowls
do you also own a race car that you drive in the slow lane?

[Anonymous No.19802154]

>>19802147
Because my wife cleans, I cook
I drive a shitbox but I own a racebike
It's older than me but also faster than I want to go, I hope I can find a Kawasaki nerd that wants to take it off my hands, it's one of 250
I have no idea how it got into the US

[Anonymous No.19802185]

>>19801923
>post both to Reddit
>get performative congratulations and disingenuous positivity in response, people talk down to you like a baby on how you could improve
Which one would you prefer, OP? Pick your poison.

[Anonymous No.19802187]

>>19802154
more info needed
some of them were 10 second bikes if you had the ball to let'er eat

[Anonymous No.19802198]

>>19802185
not OP but i much prefer hard truths, trying to pry a honest opinion out of someone is annoyingly stressful which slows improvement to a halt

[Anonymous No.19802211]

>>19802187
I mean my wife will eat
But it's a 76 Z650, pre-production, I legit have know idea how it got here

[Anonymous No.19802222]

>>19802211
i'd hang onto that it's kinda one of those things that is hard to put a price on but to right person its priceless

[Anonymous No.19802232]

>>19802222
I set the points they work great but the ignition cylinder is fucked because some crackhead tried to steal it so it dies because it goes to ground for no reason
It's a beauty, tho

[Anonymous No.19802243]

>>19801923
You are on a board with a bunch of autistic retards. Don’t take it personally.

[Anonymous No.19802248]

>>19802026
>>19802027
>>19802030
good fucking lord
absolutely grim
>>19802132
they were probably frozen and the problem is that he cooked them in way too low heat

[Anonymous No.19802253]

>>19801923
Look on the bright side. You're most likely never going to have children, as that would require having sex, so at least nobody's going to insult your children's cooking.

[Anonymous No.19802254]

>>19802026
I’d put those burgers back in the skillet and brown them some more until they are a bit crispy.

[Anonymous No.19802259]

>>19802254
Nah just throw one between a couple slices of bread, add cheese and microwave to warm it up. Perfect snacking burgers

[Anonymous No.19802264]

>>19802253
I bet OP's children could cook better then their father, if he's ever going to have any

[Anonymous No.19802303]

>>19802253
Easy for a tranime poster to say.

[Anonymous No.19802310]

>>19802303
It does come easy, but I understand that not everyone is born with wit.

[Anonymous No.19802321]

>>19802310
>your idea of wit is self owning yourself by telling somebody else to breed
Sure, tranimebro. I'm the one not reading in between the lines.

[Anonymous No.19802323]

>>19802321
If I was a tranny I'd be flatter than your attempt at a joke just fell.

[Anonymous No.19802333]

>>19802323
>instant spaghetti drop
grim

[Anonymous No.19802342]

>>19802333
>can't tell a joke
>can't greentext
>can't even use a food related meme properly on the food and cooking board
Grim, but predictably mundane.

[Anonymous No.19802344]

>>19802342
>doubles down instead of rereading what he wrote
grim x2

[Anonymous No.19802346]

>>19802323
That clearly isn't a joke lmao. Don't ever tell anybody that they aren't going to breed when you're this bad at understanding what you're reading, social cues and all, and have anime photos on hand to further embarass yourself. Literal arrow pointing at your head.

[Anonymous No.19802347]

>>19802344
Grim times infinity plus 1!

[Anonymous No.19802352]

>>19802347
No comeback, because you owned yourself. Im gonna hammer it in further because you're not even trying. Imagine telling somebody theyre never going to have kids when you're posting parasocial anime photos like >>19802342 saved.
Pathetic.

[Anonymous No.19802356]

>>19802352
>>19802347
>>19802346
We get it, you're all fucking losers posting on 4chan at midnight, shut the fuck up already

[Anonymous No.19802358]

>>19802346
>that clearly isn't a joke
Yeah, that was kind of my point. Though I do sometimes wonder if this younger generation even knows what "lmao" means. You people seem to end every sentence with it as though it's an auto-fill signature. I guess AI hasn't gotten to the point where it recognizes you typing out, "that clearly isn't a joke" and still isn't smart enough to not finish the sentence with something that would imply the opposite.

[Anonymous No.19802360]

>>19802352
>you're not even trying
Wow. I was joking when I said you lacked wit, but everything's kind of just going right over your head, isn't it?

[Anonymous No.19802387]

>>19802358
Are you genuinely braindamaged?

[Anonymous No.19802396]

>>19802356
You're right, anon. Let's get this thread back on topic. Where were we? Oh yeah: OP is sick of everyone insulting his and his mom's cooking, so instead he made a thread about how he's sick of everyone insulting his and his mom's cooking, inviting everyone to come up with other ways to insult him. But hey, it could be worse. At least we're not talking politics, amiright?

[Anonymous No.19802400]

>>19802396
He didn't invite anyone to insult him. Don't try to pass off your own subhuman reactions on someone else /v/tard.

[Anonymous No.19802411]

>>19802400
>/v/tard
Nah. I would have loved to have continued posting straight anime to piss off the election tourist, but I don't have any explicitly flat girl anime pictures saved; for reasons he (you) obviously wouldn't understand.

[Anonymous No.19802416]

>>19801923
>expecting anything more from a fast-food themed /v/ baitpost board
anon there are literally 100s of better places to actually talk about cooking
post your and your mum's food on youtube or twitter or something if you want hugbox replies and pats on the back
here you'll just get mcchicken copypastas and /int/ posts

[Anonymous No.19802425]

>>19802416
Nothing is better than /ck/. He should have just known better than to post cats on a dog board.

[Anonymous No.19802432]

>>19802425
Is that cooking with dog?

[Anonymous No.19802434]

>>19802411
People don't like you because you're unlikeable. You can't keep hiding behind your images and projecting yourself as them.

[Anonymous No.19802436]

>>19802432
No, Swinging With Dog, the underrated spinoff, canceled too soon.

[Anonymous No.19802458]

>>19802026
non stick pan? it's impossible to get a nice sear on non stick. get a real pan if you want to get into cooking

[Anonymous No.19802466]

>>19802458
Isn't it possible if youre willing to give yourself cancer... Don't often try it myself but just asking.

[Anonymous No.19802467]

>>19802026
Pretty good for a first attempt.

[Anonymous No.19802474]

>>19801923
Getting insulted is part of the game anon. Get it together.

[Anonymous No.19802478]

>>19802112
That's my stove.

[Anonymous No.19802481]

>>19802466
even if you eat all the melted teflon nearly all non stick pans are so thin you would still never get a nice sear. the patty will just dry up because it will take forever and there is zero heat retention

[Anonymous No.19802484]

>>19802436
RIP swing

[Anonymous No.19802497]

>>19802027
>>19802030
No offense but the biggest issue with these two is the photo color, that liver and sausage one especially is probably pretty good, but the low light crushes the details.

[Anonymous No.19802514]

>>19801979
>he bought the reddit pasta

[Anonymous No.19802527]

>>19801923
Snowflake

[Anonymous No.19802545]

>>19802478
legit? can i get a model number? mine worse off and my front right burner just went out

[Anonymous No.19802617]

>>19802026
I enjoy the pancake presentation.

[Anonymous No.19802635]

>>19801923
At least your mom didnt insult your cooking

Mine did and I'm still sad about it

[Anonymous No.19802654]

>>19801923
At least your mom sucks a good dick.

[Anonymous No.19803996]

>>19802323
This is actually witty.

[Anonymous No.19804117]

>>19803996
did you really have to necrobump a thread just to reply to your shitpost

[Anonymous No.19804124]

>>19802026
/ck/ culture is insulting everything that isn’t at least 1 michelin star.
Looks like a sloppa shit.

[Anonymous No.19804192]

>>19802514
If it makes you feel better, I bought a bottle of Truff hot sauce because of /ck/ and it's much worse

[Anonymous No.19805045]

>>19801923
Your posts suck too, not just your cooking.
Welcome to /ck/

[Anonymous No.19805052]

>>19802026
Holyjesuswutisthat.jpg
>>19802027
Can't tell what is the horse meat and what is the potato
>>19802030
Your mom is a cooklet

[Anonymous No.19805076]

>>19801923
Don't take the opinions of a bunch of internet trolls seriously. You are the most qualified person to judge what you've done.

[Anonymous No.19805081]

>>19801923
maybe if you hadn't cooked your fucking cat

[Anonymous No.19805090]

>>19805081
it isn't even cooked

[Anonymous No.19805992]

>>19801934
I am that 1% and no matter how good or bad someone's dish looks I always say it looks like shit and laugh at them.

[Anonymous No.19806003]

>>19801979
Yum can i suck your dick? haha jk

[Anonymous No.19806006]

>>19805992
I've never seen a dumb hyrax post anything worthwhile, funny, or informative, let alone post actual original content.

[Anonymous No.19806008]

>>19802026
>>19802027
>>19802030
Look comfy anon

[Anonymous No.19806012]

>>19806006
Haha joke's on you because you spent time commenting on my gay ass post, i WIN, i mindcolonized you

[Anonymous No.19806024]

>>19806012
Yeah, but I'm an actual hyrax and not jufd;oi;vnvavoi;vn fu;agjr; ;iv;ha h;aoirhvln.liea vkeoia

[Anonymous No.19806070]

>>19801923
Your family fucking blows at cooking. Try killing yourselves instead for better results.

[Anonymous No.19806173]

>>19801951
>post wife
>insulted
>post myself
>"damn what a thick bitch, lemme fuck"

[Anonymous No.19806188]

>>19802617
>look in the butter
>there's no butter in the picture, only whipped cream

[Anonymous No.19806196]

>>19801940
Unironically
If you aren't using these fat, dysgenic pigs' insults to harden yourself, you may be expecting more from this site than it has to offer 90% of the time.

[Anonymous No.19806213]

>>19802033
HAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Wh-WH-- Hoooooo.. uh...Why do you think they're so MEAN!?
HAHAHAHAHAHHHHAAAAA>>Coff<<AaaAAaaahh...

[Anonymous No.19806223]

>>19802436
>Swinging With Dog
You JUST KNOW the implications...

[Anonymous No.19806251]

>>19806006
The fuck is a hyrax?

[Anonymous No.19806261]

>>19806188
That's called whipped butter, anon. It's exactly what it sounds like, and allows the butter to be easily spread even when cold. I don't know what's more disconcerting: the fact that you are unfamiliar with the concept, or that you think that's what whipped cream looks like.

[Anonymous No.19806277]

>>19802022
retard

[Anonymous No.19806317]

>>19802026
>>19802027
>>19802030
my mum has MS and can cook better than both you and ur mum

[Anonymous No.19806318]

>>19802132
>don't add any oil
What? How do you get it off the pan then? Or cook more than one?

[Anonymous No.19806325]

>>19806318
if you dont care about the muh pfas/cancer/whatever claims use teflon its literally cooking on baby mode

burgers with enough fat don't need oil, get the pan really hot, medium or 1 notch above it, distract yourself for a few minutes, feel your hand above the pan to make sure its hot, drop the burgers in and turn the heat down a tiny bit, flip it every 90 secs/2 mins until how you like

[Anonymous No.19806327]

>>19802026
>>19802027
>>19802030
>Barely cooked hamburgers
>Horsemeat
>Blood Sausage
are yall mongols?

[Anonymous No.19806673]

>>19802033
What? Ew, no, disgusting, other people are not allowed in my house.

[Anonymous No.19807327]

>>19806327
More like mongrels lmao

[Anonymous No.19807340]

>>19801934
1%'s ww@

[Anonymous No.19807344]

>>19807340
i'm salivating
what is that?

[Anonymous No.19807346]

>>19807344
Way too much eggs benedict. Made with some homemade sourdough and home cured and smoked Canadian bacon. I felt like a fat fuck all day after eating it but it was worth it.

[Anonymous No.19807751]

>>19801979
can i join you?

[Anonymous No.19807921]

>>19801979
>>19802026
>>19802027
>>19802030
I have no idea why this looks so grim. And I'm the guy who makes 1-2 ingredient foods.

[Anonymous No.19807965]

>>19801923
It's not that your cooking is bad, friend. I bet it tastes good. However, we don't get to taste your food. >>19801934

[Anonymous No.19808797]

never posting me or my mums cooking here again
>>19806327
iceland

[Anonymous No.19810302]

>>19801923
Stop posting.
You're welcome.
That'll be $13.95, cash or check.

[Anonymous No.19810514]

>>19807921
I would eat any of those over your depression quinoa. I hate picky eaters, but I truly do believe most people are just pretending to like quinoa (and kale) because of the "super-food" meme. I'm not saying they can't be prepared in a way that's good; it's just that nobody would make them their first choice if they cared more about flavor than *current nutrition science*.

[Anonymous No.19811508]

>>19807340
right here

[Anonymous No.19811959]

>>19802243
this, don't take us too seriously
t. autismo

[Anonymous No.19811969]

>>19801979
Looks good to me

[Anonymous No.19813051]

>>19801923
the best cooks in the world could post here and ck faggots would berate them.

[Anonymous No.19813203]

>>19801979
Looks tasty, great job. Post cock?

[Anonymous No.19813250]

>>19801927
No anon, the picture in OP was a cat. That's not the cooking he talked about.

[Anonymous No.19813936]

>>19813051
>>19802026
>>19802027
>>19802030

[Anonymous No.19814633]

>>19801923
You have two choices on this board if you cook anon. Let me lay them out.
Do you like to get a lot of replies in your cooking thread? Then cook like shit, make a fucking mess, and enjoy the complaining.
Do you like to get one or two replies in your cooking thread and it's archived in less than a day? Cook good and post appealing food.

[Anonymous No.19814772]

>>19802026
>>19802027

[Anonymous No.19814775]

>>19814633
That is so true. Remember Collinflower soup?

[Anonymous No.19814901]

>>19801923
It's alright anon,no one here knows how to cook. I just made a makeshift bomb by overfilling my pressure cooker like a dumbass

[Anonymous No.19814937]

Barely anyone here cooks, just like barely anyone on /fit/ lifts. Ask for fitness advice there and the guy replying probably looks like a sack of mashed potatoes, ask for cooking advice here and the guy replying probably couldn't even make mashed potatoes.

[Anonymous No.19815133]

>>19807340
>>19801934
Home made chicken pot pie for dinner~

[Anonymous No.19815143]

>>19815133

[Anonymous No.19815153]

>>19801923
I have never insulted the cooking of anyone of this board
I have however insulted many subhuman shills that spam goyslop