Ethiopian “cuisine”

[Anonymous No.19713445]

>oh I heckin love Ethiopian food!!!
>it’s a bunch of desert vegetables put through a blender!!
>you go to a hole in the wall ethnic place filled with spooks and eat with your hands!!
>oh my godss it’s delicious y’all

[Anonymous No.19713446]

>no cap my guy, I’m craving Ethiopian food hella bad!!!

[Anonymous No.19713452]

OP here, if you want more of the same, visit my 9gag page! that's 9gag.com/grannysqueefs - see you there!

[Anonymous No.19713460]

grow up you fucking loser

[Anonymous No.19713492]

>>19713446

They are too

[Anonymous No.19713504]

>>19713446
putting all of it on one giant "wrap" is kinda based though, reminds me of stories about the early versions of pizza.

[Anonymous No.19713506]

>>19713445
Yeah, the food is crap. The coffee is really good. That's the saving grace. Also the women usually have nice bodies so I drink my coffee and look at tiddies and bootys

[Anonymous No.19713521]

>>19713506
>Also the women usually have nice bodies
They, like Somali women, are amongst the most unlucky females on earth. How the fuck can you believe god is real when he makes an entire region of absolutely ridiculously hot women who have no dick prospects beyond dudes who all look like chewed up dog toys that didn't quite survive a house fire?
I used to (secretly) date a super hot Somali girl who wound up married to a dude who looks exactly like the "I am the captain now" motherfucker from that Tom Hanks movie. Shrunken bread from Beetlejuice -lookin' motherfucker. He ugly as shit.

[Anonymous No.19713542]

>>19713521
When I lived at my last place there was a huge Ethiopian population there. Behind my mechanic was this Ethiopian Christian church and I would have my car serviced on Sundays for some eye candy. because those ladies were looking damn good. Sadly never bedded one

[Anonymous No.19713561]

>>19713445
>assortment of pastes with soft bread
Do they even have any foods with some crunch or is it alien texture to them?

[Anonymous No.19713574]

There's food in Ethiopia?

[Anonymous No.19713580]

>>19713445
it is like eating dog vomit off a wet sponge

[Anonymous No.19713595]

>>19713542
Either we lived in the same area once upon a time or there are two Ethiopian churches behind two mechanic's shops in two different places.

[Anonymous No.19713611]

So way back in the late 90s before I joined the Navy, my recruitment office and all the people in process of being enlisted were in a local harvest parade around this time of year. There was around 15 of us or so including the chief and lt. commander. We weren't marching, just walking the parade route when the chief said "Oh look! A Ethiopian restaurant opened where the deli use to be. Speaking loud because of all the noise and instruments playing ahead of us I said "Ethiopian restaurant?" "I didn't know the Ethiopians had food!" Immediately every single person including the chief and lt commander and other recruits laughed their ass off and it was like 30 seconds later when the lt commander instructed the chief to get us to regain our composure.

It's one of those few times in my life where I told a perfect organic joke with great timing where everyone and I mean EVERYONE ate it up.

[Anonymous No.19713672]

>>19713445
Immediately think of this anytime I see Ethiopian food.

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/00c3b837-77a6-4385-996e-090861841779

[Anonymous No.19713674]

>>19713445
>one of his main criticisms is that it has vegetables
oh the horror

[Anonymous No.19713676]

>>19713595
Silver Spring, Maryland?

[Anonymous No.19713694]

>>19713611
bro it was 30 years ago its time to move on

[Anonymous No.19713738]

>>19713611
Your joke must have spread pretty quickly, seeing as how I've heard people repeat it about a million times.

[Anonymous No.19713761]

>>19713460
cry bitch

[Anonymous No.19713770]

>>19713694
What do you mean? Its not fun to remember a great joke I made up on the fly?

[Anonymous No.19713788]

>>19713738
Oh that's pretty rad. Haha!

[Anonymous No.19713865]

>>19713445
there's always Ethiopian honey wine

[Anonymous No.19713867]

>>19713445
Why did somebody shit on that plate??

Ohhhhh, that' s supposed to be food. OOOOHHHH111one

[Anonymous No.19713872]

>>19713445
There are more spooks on 4chan than in all Ethiopian restaurants in the entire world combined you little imbecile

[Anonymous No.19713877]

>>19713865
forgot about this stuff, its pretty great with some ice. easy to drink

[Anonymous No.19713879]

>>19713521
>I was cucked by a poor and ugly African dude

Cool story man

[Anonymous No.19713882]

>>19713611
Your joke sucks and people were laughing to be polite. You're unintelligent, dull, lacking in spontaneity and creatively bankrupt. They heard that you're an autistic loser and wanted to be nice to you. They all have nice desk jobs with the CIA or NED or CFO now while you're slaving away.

[Anonymous No.19714011]

>>19713882
>wealthy and retired at 38

OK little man. Lol.

[Anonymous No.19714039]

Fuck niggers

[Anonymous No.19714052]

>>19714039
*rope

[Anonymous No.19714094]

>>19713879
>fucking the woman before the African dude married her
>cucked
anon, youre an idiot. the cool words dont make you fit in just because you use them.

[Anonymous No.19714333]

>>19713872
who you calling spook whitey?

[Anonymous No.19714444]

>>19713676
Nope. Two different places. What're the odds.

>>19713879
lol
We'd broken up long before she married cuz I have no interest in converting to Islam, even just for lip service. It's fucking weird. She'd talk shit on Islam herself but expect me to at least pretend to be interested in that shit if not outright convert just so I could be introduced into her community properly. Like, wtf.
The extent of her Islamism is her aversion of pork and her rejection of alcohol.

Anyway, yeah: no cucking was involved.

>>19714094
And not the only one. I've got a thing for brown girls. Used to date a Nigerian as well as a Bengali, another Muzzie. She married a white guy, tho. None of her family really give a fuck about Islam, especially not her except for when Islammed dat pusspuss. I honestly thought she was Hindu for the longest while until she was like "yeah, no, I'm nominally Muslim." Her exact wording. "Nominally Muslim."

[Anonymous No.19715868]

>>19713445
Chacha tibs is like lamb rib fajitas. How can you not like that? Followed by the coffee ritual afterwards. Pretty good IMO.

[Anonymous No.19717132]

>>19713580
>>19713504
Injera is gross, not all traditions are worth keeping.

[Anonymous No.19717152]

>>19713561
have to progress to at least bronze age to unlock the maillard reaction

[Anonymous No.19717165]

>>19713445
Somaliweyn will NEVER, EVER exist bulbhead.

[Anonymous No.19718389]

>>19713445
Never had it

[Anonymous No.19718401]

>>19713611
retard

[Anonymous No.19718413]

I've seen two threads seething about Ethiopian food in the last day or so, when the topic usually doesn't even get one thread a month

[Anonymous No.19718416]

>>19713882
>being this mad

[Anonymous No.19718442]

>>19713445
what the fuck is an ethiopia? some greek city?

[Anonymous No.19718447]

>>19713445
>>19713446
Ethiopia has food?

[Anonymous No.19718491]

>>19713445
It’s fucking good and super healthy. I live near the best ethiopian joint in the city so I always order from them if I’m feeling the temptation of some shitty goyslop.

[Anonymous No.19720567]

I remember like 7 or 8 years ago for a solid 3 or 4 months this entire board took every opportunity to shit on ethiopian food. I miss those days.
It really is just pathetic white westerners who fawn over it to try to seem non-racist, i think. Like the food is objectively disgusting looking, and the quality of authentic ethiopian food has to be horrible, since its literally a starving nation with next to no way or producing its own food.
I feel the same way about people who get hyped for soul food... Its objectively disgusting shit(and not like "can you believe lobsters are actually like cockroaches?"... chitlins is literally the shit tract of pigs) thats drenched in fat. Its the kind of shit a child would come up with who likes buttered noodles, so they think adding tons of butter to meatloaf would also be yummy.

The originating cultures of these things are gross, but its the pathetic whites who fall over themselves to celebrate and amplify it so they look like they're cool with non-whites who are really irredeemable(like you know the people in those kitchens are laughing at you when you pay $60 for an entree of spicy poop and bland flat bread from them, right?)

[Anonymous No.19720578]

>>19713561
do you look at someone eating pancakes and automatically assume that the entire cuisine where they are from is basically that?
you seem pretty fucking stupid, anon

[Anonymous No.19720655]

>>19714444
Nice quads anon. Strange you weren't in Silver Spring but good on you for dicking down some cuties

[Anonymous No.19720660]

>>19718491
oh my science i would give half my karma to be in that vibrant neighborhood

[Anonymous No.19720661]

>>19717132
Yeah I can't stand the shit. Sour sponge crap that is way too filling. Cheapass Ethiopian places will use it to stretch out meat dishes by mixing it in.
If it didn't come with literally every dish, I might like Ethiopian food more.

[Anonymous No.19720769]

>>19713445
>Ethiopian food!!!
>no mosquitoe burguers or sand biscuits.
So, not authentic at all, huh?

[Anonymous No.19720777]

>>19713445
I'm ethiopian, Injera is fucking good when cooked properly. Restaurants use shitty storebought injera and shit.

[Anonymous No.19720788]

>>19713770
no but it's sad that you're still living in the past... for this joke...
like... oof