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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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19636658 No.19636658 [Reply] [Original]

>eat beans for dinner
>fart all night

>> No.19636664

EVERY TIME!

>> No.19636667

> eat kfc
> steal a bike

>> No.19636670

>>19636658
>dutch oven for one

>> No.19636674

>>19636658
It doesn't happen to me but I get abdominal pain. I think I have zombie bowels.

>> No.19636750

>>19636658
your gut biome isn't used to beans yet.
the gas goes away if you eat beans every day for a few weeks.

>> No.19636759

Beans beans the magical fruit :)

>> No.19636763 [DELETED] 
File: 129 KB, 838x960, B6191EDD-D941-458F-945D-E282C66AD6BE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19636763

>>19636658
Maybe soak and thoroughly wash your dry beans retard. And take a beano if your digestive system is so bad it fucks with your life

>> No.19636764

>>19636658
This only happens to me if I eat beans with cheese. Beans themselves shouldn't cause gas issues

>> No.19636777

Let me guess, you need more?

>> No.19636803
File: 2.69 MB, 544x960, 1681011673174228.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19636803

>>19636658
>put four cloves of garlic in a can of campbells chicken noodle.
>Simmer for 20
>fart all night so bad the neighbors can smell it

>> No.19636812

>>19636763
fucking barf

>> No.19636820

>>19636812
nigga u gay

>> No.19636834

>>19636820
nigga u desperate and lonely

>> No.19636854

>>19636803
And they wonder why for majority of history they had no rights and were property

>> No.19636911
File: 112 KB, 466x388, EorXVuJW8AASPsV.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19636911

>>19636759
The more you eat the more you prööööt :DDDDD

>> No.19636915

>>19636658
Only black beans make me fart. I've never had gas issues with any other kind but for whatever reason specifically black beans make a trombone grow out of my ass, which sucks because they're probably my favorite kind

>> No.19637369

>>19636854
The worst part about that clip is that she doesn't even sit on the Big Mac properly.
This woman chose one of the most degenerate 'occupations' possible and she can't even be bothered to do it competently. At least prostitutes actually bother to make sure their John gets off, not like this bitch.

>> No.19637371
File: 3.92 MB, 1280x720, mexican bean standoff.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19637371

You eat beans often enough, it stops giving you gas. Just dig in, every day of your life.

>> No.19637421

>>19636911
The more you prööööt the better you feel

>> No.19637431

>>19636658
https://youtu.be/VPIP9KXdmO0?si=EYu6Jhrp9mZy8Z3E

>> No.19637441

What more do you need?

>> No.19638213
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19638213

an uncooked can of beans and a quarter loaf of pumpernickel bread is such a good dinner it's insane
throw in some beer and I'm in heaven

>> No.19638228
File: 260 KB, 650x780, chair.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19638228

>>19636658
Working as intended.

>> No.19638293
File: 5 KB, 258x250, 1403916158703.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19638293

>>19636658
>have never been able to belch
>only happens when I'm about to throw up or by surprise once every few months
>all gas has to get farted out
>love beer but don't like to drink much it because I get bloated and brap all night
>shy about it and hold farts in around other people
>having a girl over means going to the bathroom and releasing farts in secret
>asked a doctor about it and he just said that's the way some people are
why god

>> No.19638442

>>19636667
underrated post

>> No.19638612

>>19638293
make her fart first and you won't be embarrassed to fart later

>> No.19638623

>>19638612
Surely coercing a girl into farting will go well and will not at all be misinterpreted

>> No.19638632

>>19638623
Coerce? You already got your answer in this thread. Just make her eat beans and beer and keep her from going to the bathroom until it happens and then you have a keeper for life

>> No.19638636

>>19636658
Beans don't do it for me but if I touch garlic or raw onions it's the fards and shids all night

>> No.19638642

>>19636750
>>19636764
>>19637371
You lying mother fuckers.

>> No.19638644

>>19636658
You say that like it's a bad thing

>> No.19638654

>>19637371
What movie is this?

>> No.19639156

>>19638623
My gf seems to hold in her burps and when I told her I didn't mind if she burped she laughed at me like I was crazy so I don't think the farting will go well

>> No.19639169

>>19636658
Hmmm guess I'm cooking beans for my thirteen year old sister tonight. Highway to the danger zone. My uncut prick just sprang up.

>> No.19639226

>>19636670
Does anyone actually become gassy from beans? I have never seen nor experienced such a thing and I don't think anyone else has either. Old school meme stuff.

>> No.19639293

>>19639169
haha sounds like a funny prank maybe record the results

>> No.19639334

>>19638654
The Unholy Four (1970)

>> No.19639343

>>19639334
Thanks!

>> No.19641037

>>19637371
Them beans werent much good, anyway.

>> No.19641041

>>19638293
bro just let it out, release the pressure.

>> No.19641099

>>19636911
That doesn't rhyme.

>> No.19641130

>>19638293
if she breaks up with you for farting she wasn't the one

>> No.19641141

>>19637369
you don't know what you're talking about

>> No.19641310

>>19641041
>>19641130
it's not so much that I'm worried about how she'll react as much as I'm just personally really self conscious about it, they also smell bad pretty often

>> No.19641319

The trick to not farting is to hold the farts in. Eventually you will just burp instead of farting.

>> No.19641447

>>19637371
were men really able to keep their muscle mass living only on a diet of beans and cornbread

>> No.19641460

>>19641447
Beans have a lot of protein

>> No.19641484

>>19641099
It does if you actally jetisson particles out your anus.

>> No.19641487

>>19641447
obviously, a pound of beans has about 40g of protein, they have always been inexpensive too

>> No.19641796

>>19639226
beans are high in fiber so yes
put enough in me and I could probably shoot to the moon

>> No.19642728

>>19641447
Probably cooked with some cured meats or pork off cuts as well. Lots of traditional bean stew recipes involve cured sausage, black pudding, pork belly, ribs, ears, cheeks etc. Good way to stretch out your stored meat and also add extra protein and fat to your beans.

>> No.19642735

>>19636803
God I wish I was that borgar

>> No.19643258

>>19641447
There's whiskey too

>> No.19643337

>>19636658
>up at 5:30am
>half awake but can still push out a FAT and creamy shit
>10 minutes paas
>time to get out of bed I guess

>> No.19643383

If you sprout them before you cook them you will fart less

>> No.19643595
File: 2.11 MB, 4032x3024, B90DDA43-4AC1-46F8-A05C-1EFA070B0781.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19643595

>>19637371
You can tell they all have really bad spray tans except for the last guy

Because he is black

>> No.19643633

>>19642728
This. Salted pork was very common.

>> No.19643641
File: 137 KB, 1170x1146, F4ZrrExWEAE_f6g.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
19643641

>eat spicy chicken
>asshole burns for the rest of the night