WebM Thread

[Anonymous No.19387593]

clown cooking e-dition

[Anonymous No.19387663]

[Anonymous No.19387683]

>>19387663
why does he look so confident doing it 90% of the way, and then suddenly seem like hes regretting his decision in the last second?

[Anonymous No.19387748]

>>19387683
cause its head and wings are probably writhing in his mouth

[Anonymous No.19387757]

>>19387663
that's the vodka comedown kicking in

[Anonymous No.19387808]

[Anonymous No.19387815]

[Anonymous No.19387817]

>>19387808
It's the weird cutting and tong placing or the Doritos that gets me

[Anonymous No.19387819]

>>19387808
what always provokes me the most about this stuff is that somebody films it like it's fucking impressive

[Anonymous No.19387825]

>>19387819
almost as if it was the purpose of the video :O

[Anonymous No.19387827]

>>19387815
idk why everyone pisses themselves over jack's raw burgers, thats one thing you can eat raw if you pretty much just sizzle the outside on a pan a little
the man eats enough fucked up crap and foods that should never be eaten raw, we dont need to find issues where there are none

[Anonymous No.19387830]

>>19387815
I'd recognize ja/ck/s hands anywhere

[Anonymous No.19387831]

it’s always the same webms

[Anonymous No.19387832]

>>19387825
You think so? The person filming is in the kitchen with them in almost every case. I honestly believe most of these videos are made as a sort of promo, "look at our epic food"

[Anonymous No.19387836]

>>19387819
it seems like theyre under the impression that this is good eatin
thats what i love, the kinda awful food that someone genuinely thinks is great

i hate those obviously ironic "cursed food videos" where a guy purposefully piles on random shit for da lolz knowing hes not gonna eat it
it doesnt have the SOUL of genuine clown cooking

[Anonymous No.19387838]

>>19387827
Raw burgers are good but Jack's are too raw
it's not a steak

[Anonymous No.19387839]

>>19387832
I meant it's rage bait, it's made to piss you off to generate clicks and views and ultimately $$$.

[Anonymous No.19387843]

All the best examples of clown food I have are unfortunately not in WEBM form
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e5gTx1fVU4

[Anonymous No.19387845]

>>19387827
For me it's that it's just so pedestrian and unsightly. The unmelted cheese, the little white lines where you can see his dull knife just moved the uncooked unrenderred fat, rather than actually cutting through it like a knife should, and the straight up white juices that escape the burger as he cuts through it.
It's a perfect comedy, and a perfect tragedy at once.
Jack is just so fucking pedestrian. Such a perfect encapsulation of the middling intellect held by 95% of people we share the planet with. It's fucking great. Perfect webm 10/10, I watch it every time it's posted.

[Anonymous No.19387859]

>>19387683
Little bugger was probably trying to bite him, those things are apex predators of the bug world they can take chunks out of you.

[Anonymous No.19387877]

[Anonymous No.19387878]

>>19387827
>big chunk of raw beef - nobody wants to eat that on a burger
>unmelted provolone?
>flavorless looking supermarket tomato
>pickles making everything soggy
>crushed the bun with his dull knife
It’s an incredibly sad burger

[Anonymous No.19387887]

>>19387843
>starts with a roll of dough and gives it some air, flavoring it with a nice hefty serving of hole
>smears some presumably tomato based pizza sauce (???) and leaves a foot off the crust
>mashes on a pile of either the dirtiest looking cheese ive ever seen, or what looks like cooked curry rice? which also has lumps of... something large... in it
>a load of mayo on top
>some canned sweetcorn
>a sprinkling of an undetermined powder
>into a hole in the wall it goes
>peace
>does a nifty little spin with the trashcan lid the pizza will eventually find itself on
>stokes the fire with some leaves and sticks
>cooks the whole thing for exactly 2.5 minutes
>stabs the damn thing like its julius fucking caesar and dismember it with a wall paint scraper
>THREE
>MOTHERFUCKING
>OLIVES
>viola, and like his proud child he unleashes this into the world

[Anonymous No.19387888]

[Anonymous No.19387902]

>>19387877
This kind of makes me sad, but for other reasons. A big disgusting crab boil pot used to be the poor man's feast for a crowd. Now I'm pretty sure the demographic of people who used to eat that shit up can't afford to make it anymore. I always found it revolting but it brought them so much joy.

[Anonymous No.19387935]

Does anyone have that image of the meat truck with the open door showing the dead pigs and then the other door has a cool pig relaxing on a beach with sunglasses? Have a Jack webm for relevancy.

[Anonymous No.19387938]

>>19387843
Same. https://youtu.be/2ritA05zwTE

[Anonymous No.19387948]

>>19387935
its not actually that absurd to add a sprinkling of water to your patties before forming them, really just wetting your hands is enough, it helps them glide off your hands and form a little better

imo, Jack is like the opposite of Kay's Cooking
Kay cooks like she only understands cooking in concept, she saw someone do it thru a keyhole in the door and is now trying to figure out the basics but doesnt understand the small invisible aspects like method or seasoning, so she assumes its not a factor
"what if a ravioli? well i guess its dough, and theres uh... stuff in it.... so ill make some dough and put stuff in it... meat is stuff, right? uh... and then ill uh..... heat the dough.... soooomehow?" its like fucking minecraft cooking, you mash vageuly related stuff together and leave out the details
Jack is similar in that he doesnt know cooking, but instead of UNDERestimating it, he OVERestimates what he has to do. "nobody ever taught me how to make a burger, but theres nooo way its as simple as forming a patty and grilling it. there has to be more faff involved, there just has to... if i make it convoluted enough itll look impressive eventually"

speaking of Kay, how is she doing?

[Anonymous No.19387957]

>>19387938
this is actualy interesting, makes me wanna try it
peanuts go well with savory or salty things, even sweet peanuts... it might just be good

[Anonymous No.19387960]

>>19387948
I'm a little worried about her. She seems tired and sad. https://youtu.be/L3ZWXNzzdqM

[Anonymous No.19387962]

>>19387960
well shes getting old
the fact that shes still making these is a good sign

[Anonymous No.19388008]

[Anonymous No.19388026]

>>19388008
Laugh all you want I'd be 10000 times happier sitting through that nonsense, filling my gut full to the brim knowing that at the end of it I can slam my pasty white gut with full force at her big fat black ass

[Anonymous No.19388027]

>>19387593
>>19387663
>>19387808
>>19387815
>>19387877
>>19387888
>>19387935
>>19388008
>retarded memeshit
Fucking kill yourselves.

[Anonymous No.19388030]

[Anonymous No.19388033]

>>19388027
you posted a literal tasty webm you fat faggot

[Anonymous No.19388038]

>>19388033
It's an actual recipe, unlike the retarded "haha look at me" typical Jack shit. Fuck off, retard. You're part of the reason this board is going down the shitter.

[Anonymous No.19388042]

[Anonymous No.19388044]

[Anonymous No.19388049]

[Anonymous No.19388055]

[Anonymous No.19388057]

>>19388033
he also mass queued everyone itt, ignore him, hes clearly just an attention fag

>>19388008
i dont trust any recommendation made by someone with nails that long

[Anonymous No.19388058]

what the hell is wrong with amerifats

[Anonymous No.19388061]

[Anonymous No.19388062]

>>19388027
I used my Jack webm as a somewhat relative vehicle to see if anyone had the image I was looking for, since webm threads are one of the faster thread types on this board.

[Anonymous No.19388064]

>>19388038
>thread is literally called "clown food edition"
>"w-wuh why are you posting weird food?? i dun getit???"
do you read the sign on the door before or after you walk into a room, el retardo?

[Anonymous No.19388071]

[Anonymous No.19388072]

>>19388058
shit bait try harder

[Anonymous No.19388077]

[Anonymous No.19388083]

>>19388077
>the way he rubs his mustache on it at the end
kek thats not at all what i expected him to look like, what a man

[Anonymous No.19388084]

>>19387815
>>19387827
>>19387845
>>19387838
>>19387878
Faggots, that's supposed to be a seared bison tartare burger.

[Anonymous No.19388122]

>>19388077
Would, that's a great variety and it all looks fairly well made

[Anonymous No.19388149]

>>19387877
>2 cobs fall on the ground yet he still keeps going for the Tok

[Anonymous No.19388161]

[Anonymous No.19388166]

If I knew how to edit video I'd cut out the hippie fag at the end.

[Anonymous No.19388170]

[Anonymous No.19388173]

>>19388166
if someone serves me this I will stab him with whatever is the sharpest thing within reach

[Anonymous No.19388174]

[Anonymous No.19388181]

[Anonymous No.19388182]

>>19388174
do you get to eat the rejected ice cream?

[Anonymous No.19388186]

>>19388182
No. :(

[Anonymous No.19388191]

>>19388166
when you said "hippie fag" i expected to see a dude who looks like he drinks soylent for breakfast and owns several pronoun pins, not a hobo who doesnt shower for weeks and brews his own bin beer
this is absolutely the kinda hippie i respect

then i remembered he made a social media video and filmed in portrait so nevermind hes probably not that cool

[Anonymous No.19388192]

There has to be a way to get the texture more appealing. Looks foamy.

[Anonymous No.19388194]

>>19387683
Because in the actual video the little kids watching him start screaming and crying

[Anonymous No.19388204]

[Anonymous No.19388205]

[Anonymous No.19388206]

>>19388026
Most disgusting thing in the thread

[Anonymous No.19388210]

[Anonymous No.19388213]

[Anonymous No.19388220]

[Anonymous No.19388223]

[Anonymous No.19388227]

[Anonymous No.19388232]

[Anonymous No.19388234]

[Anonymous No.19388239]

[Anonymous No.19388243]

[Anonymous No.19388249]

[Anonymous No.19388259]

[Anonymous No.19388270]

[Anonymous No.19388330]

That's all I've got.

[Anonymous No.19388348]

>>19388042
Looks like cowboy caviar adapted into a salad. Sounds good.

[Anonymous No.19388362]

>>19388170
That's actually pretty awesome, ngl. I want the full recipe.

[Anonymous No.19388457]

>>19387843
>>19387887
>The "dirty looking cheese" thing is just heavily seasoned shredded chicken.
>the "mayo" is catupiry which a very mild cheesy cream.
His pizza looks like shit, but a well made 'chicken catupiry' pizza is great. it's basically just muzarella with creamy, cheesy, very soft chicken.

[Anonymous No.19388460]

>>19388457
interesting
thanks for the info

[Anonymous No.19388468]

>>19387877
He could have stopped at any point but chose not to

[Anonymous No.19388471]

>>19388030
Whats wrong with this one?

[Anonymous No.19388479]

>>19387808
Now that's some goyslop!

[Anonymous No.19388493]

>>19388206
>t. tastelet

[Anonymous No.19388500]

>>19388077
Would've been better if he turned to serve it after all that & spilled it all over a suctomer.

[Anonymous No.19388502]

>>19388493
>mm I can really taste the STD's
>can't believe quality monkeypussy like this only ran me $700

[Anonymous No.19388503]

>>19387663
Found the sauce on this and this literal actual faggot is eating his niece's pet dragonfly while she screams and everyone just stands around and lets him do it. He even quotes some gay ass song right before everything starts saying "I know all there is to know about the crying game" so you know he did it just to torture her. How nobody in that room beat the fuck out of him is insane to me. They just stand by and let this homo abuse a kid saying shit like "oh, you!" and they even go so far as to justify his actions, which is honestly a pretty good metaphor for our current political situation in the US.

[Anonymous No.19388505]

>>19388471
It goes against the narrative

[Anonymous No.19388520]

>>19388502
>t. salty

[Anonymous No.19388523]

>>19388008
Thats medium rare ?

[Anonymous No.19388541]

>>19388520
>t. coal stoker

[Anonymous No.19388577]

>>19388038
>mad about meme webms
>posts tasty and martha stewart

LMAO

you're either a white pasty fuck or a mid-40's woman, no inbetween. Go fuck yourself.

[Anonymous No.19388647]

>>19387877
What the fuck is this shit who would eat off of filthy fucking newspaper. With how cheaply this shit is printed and how carelessly its handled these people are 100% partially eating ink.

[Sneed Spamming Shitposter No.19388651]

>>19388577
Keep crying, fagfucker. Not my problem. Lol. Sneed.

[Anonymous No.19388662]

>>19388030
This looks fucking delicious.

[Anonymous No.19388694]

>>19388038
shit recipe

[Anonymous No.19388697]

>>19388694
What's wrong with it? Looks like a basic, solid mac and cheese recipe.

[Anonymous No.19388721]

>>19388697
i just dont like these bechamel-based mac and cheese sauces (mornay sauces), the texture lacks. it needs an emulsifier either in the form of american cheese or by adding something like sodium citrate. That way you can use "real" cheese if you wish but really nice cheeses are a waste to use in mac and cheese. I just use gouda and chedar usually. also I really dislike the tone of the video and felt like being mean. who the fuck post martha stuart on /ck/ this board really went to shit

[Anonymous No.19388727]

[Anonymous No.19388735]

>>19387593
gaaaah
>>19387815
>>19387827
Fuck that was probably disgusting to eat. You need to get ground beef up to temperature or it has a gnarly texture. If you want rare, eat a steak, those cuts are more tender at low temps.
>>19387877
Would have been ok if it were strained first
>>19388030
>>19388038
>>19388042
>>19388044
>>19388049
>>19388055
>>19388061
>>19388071
>>19388077
>>19388161
off topic, this looks delicious. You didn't understand the assignment you dildo

[Anonymous No.19388745]

>>19387593
There has never once been a single food cooked with cocacola that has been good.

[Anonymous No.19388752]

>>19388503
Based beyond belief. The weak should fear the strong. Especially weirdo nerds with pet bugs.

[Anonymous No.19388763]

>>19388752
>The weak should fear the strong.
Nobody will be strong forever.

[Anonymous No.19388767]

>>19387683
because he is mentally ill and in the original video his niece is screaming for him to stop and then he thought it would be funny to be evil anyway and just ate it and then laughed awkwardly as all the kids cried cause hes retarded

[Anonymous No.19388771]

>>19388008
>>putting 2 snickers in your ice cream is the epitome of class

[Anonymous No.19388772]

>>19388767
Eating a kids pet bug is funny.

[Anonymous No.19388807]

>>19388061
Looks good.

[Anonymous No.19388859]

>>19388745
Pork carnitas.

[Anonymous No.19388862]

>>19388752
You’re defending a literal cock sucker. I’m betting you’re one too which means you should take your own advice.

[Anonymous No.19388908]

>>19387808
Ah, yes... just like abuelita used to make 'em

[Anonymous No.19388949]

>>19388727
badlands chugs is kinda based, love that black meat torpedo

[Anonymous No.19388988]

>>19388166
>hippie fag
That's just Jack on meth

[Anonymous No.19388990]

[Anonymous No.19388994]

>>19388949
>black meat torpedo
More like a black sea mine

[Anonymous No.19389006]

>>19388994
This is literally what factory farms do to cows.

[Anonymous No.19389083]

>>19387808
>>19388077

[Anonymous No.19389092]

>>19387663
best blowjob that dragonfly ever had
but at a price

[Anonymous No.19389117]

>>19388859
Anon deglaze with beer and stock not fucking phosphoric acid you absolute dipshit

[Anonymous No.19389133]

>>19388192
Yeah looks like they curdled the cream. Should have probably processed the mushrooms down to a paste then cooked it on the stove first, then strained it through a mesh to get the flavor without forcing terrible mushroom texture to work with cream and broth. Just not a well executed recipe.

[Anonymous No.19389135]

>>19388520
>>19388493
I agree, that big sumptuous shea butter butt smacking up against my way overstuffed gut (not to mention the fat dab I ripped and the giant bourbon soda I slammed at dinner)

that's heaven

[Anonymous No.19389143]

>>19388990
jesus fucking christ what a disaster. doing a pointless toasting of the peppercorns, TRIMMING THE PASTA INSTEAD OF JUST LETTING IT COOK INTO THE PAN, shitty parm shredded wrongly, overcooking the noodles regardless..... Just awful false pretention low quality cooking.

[Anonymous No.19389364]

>>19388503
Post full video or never happened.

[Anonymous No.19389421]

>>19389143
>wrongly

[Anonymous No.19389425]

>>19388166
If this were made by a normal person and not a hairy disgusting hippy no one would have a problem with it

[Anonymous No.19389545]

>be Chinese
>mock white people food
>eat literal rocks

[Anonymous No.19389554]

>>19389545
is this part of their actual cuisine or is it something recent seen as a novelty for social media?

[Anonymous No.19389590]

>>19387593
Look at the ass on her Jesus wept

[Anonymous No.19389593]

[Anonymous No.19389600]

>>19389545
Damn. And I thought it was bad when Haitian People of Color would eat dirt cookies.

[Anonymous No.19389608]

>>19388008
damn that negress can put away some food tho

[Anonymous No.19389647]

>>19387877
White people be using plates, bruh.

[Anonymous No.19389652]

>>19388994
>We love and appreciate you!

[Anonymous No.19389675]

>>19389554
It's some retarded social media meme.

[Anonymous No.19389691]

>>19388038
I don't like baked mac n cheese because you spend all that time making a good sauce just to ruin it in the oven. Just make some crunchy shit and put it on top of the already cooked pasta and sauce.

>>19388721
You aren't a good cook because you watch that shit channel adam ragusea. Imagine needing to added thickeners to you cheese sauce when you simply dilute the mornay and added the pasta that naturally thickens the sauce with its starch. I expect nothing less from babies that need the easy mac texture.

[Anonymous No.19389717]

>>19388008
>Gee Bill, how come your restaurant lets you put two snickers in that bitch?

[Anonymous No.19389727]

>>19387593

[Anonymous No.19389811]

>>19388503
>justify his actions
How? If that was my daughter I'd beat the shit out of him. Doesn't help I already hate my brothers. Those adults need to be removed from existence.
Found a video the full video on YouTube and the comments are disabled. I bet it's this faggot's channel.

[Anonymous No.19389817]

[Anonymous No.19389847]

>>19389817
Is this a new infuriating tiktok trend, meticulously explain the simplest of steps at 0.5x speed for the most basic shit in the world (a recipe already printed on the product in the video)

[Anonymous No.19389857]

>>19388205
I hate no-bake cheescakes because they're lazy and never have the right texture.

[Anonymous No.19389862]

>>19389817
>zoomers need an entire video devoted to showing them how to follow instructions THAT ARE ALREADY ON THE CAN OF DOUGH ITSELF
holy shit it really is over
this is beyond depressing

[Anonymous No.19389864]

>>19388030
This looks mighty fine

[Anonymous No.19389866]

>>19388227
Commercially produced cakes are always disgustingly sweet, in part due to that inch of sugar plasticized with fat that they call icing.

[Anonymous No.19389873]

>>19389817
>>19389847
>>19389862
What you have to understand is that zoomers grew up in a world terrified of the slightest risk or perceived slight so the sound of a can of croissant dough opening is terrifying to them. These are people who can't order a pizza or make a doctor's appointment over the phone.

[Anonymous No.19389885]

>>19388008
It’s wank but it’s a restaurant marketed towards women so it’s fine
And I love a bitch who can put food away

[Anonymous No.19389910]

[Anonymous No.19389921]

>>19387877
lol damn i love what became of suga free

[Anonymous No.19389931]

>>19388027
There's no point. Mods are faggots and the retards being retards were left unchecked for a decade.

[Anonymous No.19390021]

>>19388220
yuck

[Anonymous No.19390034]

>>19388232
idiot

[Anonymous No.19390049]

>>19388503
pet... dragonfly?

[Anonymous No.19390050]

>>19389593
why are white people like this

[Anonymous No.19390052]

>>19389143
Of course it's a spaghettinigger having a melty over peppercorns.

[Anonymous No.19390062]

>>19387593
Some people are only cut out for doing porn.

[Anonymous No.19390138]

>>19390049
It's okay. Someone can care about a dragonfly and care about you too.

[Anonymous No.19390144]

>>19388170
Disgusting fat bitch
Id tell her to kill herself but judging by that slop she is one foot in the grave already

[Anonymous No.19390167]

>>19388259
>brown hands

[Anonymous No.19390218]

>>19388330
fuck I'm craving dat koubideh

[Anonymous No.19390280]

>>19387808
How many sauces and swuirts of lime do you need, filthy wench. And no meat, WTF?!

[Anonymous No.19390292]

>>19388182
They'll probably turn it into stracciatella or something like that.

[Anonymous No.19390443]

>>19388008
Expensive, but she's worth it. Fine af

[Anonymous No.19390450]

>>19390443
Yes, the girl of my dreams is a sheboon with so much makeup and cosmetic surgery she looks like a doll.

[Anonymous No.19390532]

>>19388030
I fucking love okonomiyaki

[Anonymous No.19390767]

>>19388990
He was off to a good start till he fucked the cheese part and cooked the pasta dry. He ended up with a sticky tangle instead of a creamy sauce.

[Anonymous No.19390952]

>>19387593
retched

[Anonymous No.19390954]

Anyone got some white people don't season dey food webms?

[Anonymous No.19390977]

>>19389910
that looks pretty awesome outside of the egg yolk cumshot when he puts the top on and squishes it

[Anonymous No.19390984]

>>19390954
I'm gonna need you to come with me sir, do not resist.

[Anonymous No.19391170]

>>19388161
Wish I had an Indian girl to make me good foods.

[Anonymous No.19391198]

>>19390954

[Anonymous No.19391205]

>>19387859
I thought dragonflies didn't have mouths because they just fuck then die.

[Anonymous No.19391219]

>>19388181
by the time he's done setting this up the food would be cold

[Anonymous No.19391251]

https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1687019866922737.webm
https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1687019866922737.webm

[Anonymous No.19391277]

P1

[Anonymous No.19391289]

>>19391251

[Anonymous No.19391300]

>>19387948
>speaking of Kay, how is she doing?
She's kind of improved. Still not good at cooking but not quite catastrophic anymore

[Anonymous No.19391308]

>>19388727

[Anonymous No.19391312]

>>19388990
>trimming the spaghetti with a pair of scissors
that's a first

[Anonymous No.19391395]

>>19391308
Munky

[Anonymous No.19391415]

>>19389593
this right here
this is the webm
it has everything this thread needed and then more

[Anonymous No.19391416]

>>19388030
what are the ingredients ? shredded carrot, potato, and cabbage? and rice flour ?

[Anonymous No.19391428]

>>19391416
Green onions. Looks like regular wheat flour.

[Anonymous No.19391494]

>>19390532
Ok. That's not what that it, though.

[Anonymous No.19391508]

>>19391416
>>19391428
https://so.m.jd.com/chanpin/1742161.html
It's pancake mix

[Anonymous No.19392006]

>>19391289
h-hot!!

[Anonymous No.19392012]

>>19388161
>empty can of tuna as mise en place

[Anonymous No.19392027]

>>19387877
he had a spoon

[Anonymous No.19392036]

>>19388735
you didn't understand the OP

[Anonymous No.19392044]

>>19391289
The yellow cream oozing out seems more like a popped pimple than semen.

[Anonymous No.19392054]

>>19387888
Asians truly are genuine subhumans. I've met pitch black niggers in Africa that wouldn't even stoop to this.

[Anonymous No.19392129]

>>19389847
>>19389862
content farming is nothing new you retarded boomers and you're falling for it

[Anonymous No.19392142]

>>19389817
i was sure something wacky or ridiculous was going to happen, like drying and grinding up the dough to make new dough to make a crescent roll. this shit makes me pretty happy to be old, so i don't even need to try to understand the youth anymore.

[Anonymous No.19392153]

>>19389866
That's... what icing is.

[Anonymous No.19392160]

>>19389866
I don't like that either. The cake itself is borderline overly sweet too.

I like whipped cream with just a little honey in it. Or peanut butter, the kind with sugar already in it, mixed with just enough milk until it has the consistency of frosting.

[Anonymous No.19392238]

>>19388008
Uh isn't wagyu not allowed to be exported? god blacks are a mistake

[Anonymous No.19392313]

>>19392238
>Uh
Go back to where ever the fuck you came from.

[Anonymous No.19392400]

>>19392238
It's only live animals and genetic material that's banned from export retard-kun.

[Anonymous No.19392415]

>>19387815
>>>19387827 >>19387830 >>19388027 >>19388084 >>19388735
Uhh, why does (s/t)he(m) wear a a ring while HANDLING food?

[Anonymous No.19392547]

>>19387808
do americans really?

[Anonymous No.19392549]

>>19387815
When does he recover?
Who is fulfilling all his seasoning and hot sauce orders?

[Anonymous No.19392559]

>>19387877
This is why people don't get deposits back.

[Anonymous No.19392595]

>>19387935
the heat from the hands cooks the burger

[Anonymous No.19392715]

>>19392415
why not?

[Anonymous No.19392727]

>>19390443
>>19388026
based boon appreciators

[Anonymous No.19392848]

>>19387827
This is absolutely true. Jack has poisoned himself multiple times over the years but it never happened with a burger, to my knowledge. I'm pretty sure he did it with uncooked pork too, which is one of the easiest ways to straight-up die from shitting your own insides out
At this point we should probably be in awe of the man's unkillable physiology, really

[Anonymous No.19392856]

>>19389910
Why. Why even make the burger at all if the plan was to douse it in sauce. Why not just layer the ingredients normally if this was the plan

[Saucy !!t8mLMPhseST No.19392872]

>>19389862
Its nothing new anon.

[Anonymous No.19392919]

>>19388077
I'll have some of the yella

[Anonymous No.19392966]

>>19388161
jesus damn this looks like it tastes so good.

[Anonymous No.19393018]

>>19392848
He's like Ozzy Osbourne. They studied his DNA to figure out why he wasn't dead from all the drugs. They should study Jack's to find out why he survived constant consumption of poison and multiple strokes.

[Anonymous No.19393027]

>>19391219
This is just a demo of everything the bbq place serves all on one plate. They are WAY faster getting food out to people.

[Anonymous No.19393076]

[Anonymous No.19393081]

[Anonymous No.19393118]

>>19388161
I'll never have a spicy Indian aunty to cook delicious mushroom dishes for me. What's the point of even going on?

[Anonymous No.19393151]

[Anonymous No.19393255]

>>19389554
It's a diet thing, you just suck on the rock for flavor and not consume real calories.

[Anonymous No.19393385]

>>19393081
>Exhaust fan on top of the frier
They were fucked from the start
Exhaust fans have this Plastic inside which if they catch on fire it releases this dense extremely toxic smoke that fills the room in seconds
Happened to me, the firemen told me it's extremely fucking common and that shit shouldn't be allowed to be placed directly on top of anything that can catch on fire

[Anonymous No.19393387]

>>19387935
There you go anon

[Anonymous No.19393408]

>>19388077
that's-a too much food mario!

[Anonymous No.19393417]

>>19388161
this is an absolutely retarded way to cook mushrooms, unless you want flavorless little bits of rubber

[Anonymous No.19393425]

>>19388166
this would be much better as canapes
little squares of toast with the garlic aioli and then pieces of the buttery caramelized onion with pepper and thyme on top
totally gross as a big disgusting greasy sandwich

[Anonymous No.19393455]

>>19388192
>cheddar cheese with mushrooms
fucking BARF

[Anonymous No.19393461]

>>19393455
How did you manage to avoid your mother's coat hanger?

[Anonymous No.19393482]

>>19393461
are you trying to claim cheddar is good with mushrooms?
there are plenty of cheeses which are delicious in combination with mushrooms, cheddar is not one of them

[Anonymous No.19393499]

>>19387808
fucking hell man

[Anonymous No.19393609]

>>19388008
The only thing even expensive is the meme steak lmao

[Anonymous No.19393633]

>>19393151
>he doesn't cook with a flamethrower

[Anonymous No.19393635]

>>19388745
Meatloaf

[Anonymous No.19393638]

>>19388008
The waiter's hand flourishes fucking killed me haha, I really hope he's acting like a fucking meat magician ironically

[Anonymous No.19393643]

[Anonymous No.19393652]

>>19393081
what country is this?
did they died?

[Anonymous No.19393657]

>>19393643
these are the kind of pimples that keep appearing behind my ear

[Anonymous No.19393671]

>>19387877
Why every one making fun of the guy that shit take effort and he's trying to do something special for the family.
I'm not complaining about anything if someone cooks me a seafood feast.

[Anonymous No.19393706]

>>19389921
id rather give you my bitch than some plates to eat on

[Anonymous No.19393721]

>>19388170
I always wondered if /tg/'s meatbread existed in the wild

[Anonymous No.19393848]

>>19390138
Dragonflies are useful, though.
Anon is not.

[Anonymous No.19393916]

>>19388161
6/10
would smack around a bit

[Anonymous No.19393943]

>>19388030
this looks really good though

[Anonymous No.19393951]

>>19393643
wtg cheesechuds

[Anonymous No.19393979]

>>19393643
this is more disgusting than >>19393657

[Anonymous No.19394002]

>>19388227
What's the third thing?? Pre-buttered slices of bread??

[Anonymous No.19394102]

>>19389691
you dont get the point of emulsifier salts, they dont thicken anything. They make oil disperse more evenly in the liquid which creates a more pleasant texture. Thickeners can also act as emulsifiers (like the pasta starch in your example) but they work differently, they just make the liquid more thick, trapping oil particles in it. Both approaches can work but proper emulsifiers work better. if you dont want to use sodium citrate or something similar I would advise adding an egg yolk at the end (off the burner and after cooling a little), it also contains multiple kinds of emulsifiers and the texture it creates is nice.

[Anonymous No.19394104]

>>19389143
toasting spices is not pointless you moron

[Anonymous No.19394113]

>>19388174
Fucking Auto-Jizzler 9000

[Anonymous No.19394128]

>>19388077
>feeds one american

[Anonymous No.19394417]

>>19393499
I've got another 7 webms of this shit.

[Anonymous No.19394546]

>>19388008
Shit like this proves money can't buy class.

[Anonymous No.19394618]

>>19389593
Instead of doing a productive and mind cleansing hobby like gardening or even fucking reading, these food wasting whores make gross-out meals for retards to seethe at for some views. I hate them.

[Anonymous No.19394675]

>>19394417

[Anonymous No.19394899]

>>19389545
Plot twist: those are ticks

[Anonymous No.19395545]

>>19392872
>>19389862
dude i'll put it in the oven and cook like they do on tv! i'll be adulting!

[Anonymous No.19395563]

Why am I addicted to ragebait cooking videos?

[Anonymous No.19395607]

>>19395563
elementary watson it's because you take cock sliding in and out of your mouth and anus.

[Anonymous No.19395705]

[Anonymous No.19395721]

>>19395705
bet her ass smells amazing

[Anonymous No.19395798]

>>19388181
say what you want about american food in general but this shit is top tier. if you know you know.

[Anonymous No.19395804]

>>19395705
Sure you should be eating those fries babe? I noticed your thigh gap was looking a little smaller than normal last night.

[Anonymous No.19395819]

>>19388772
>t. Childless degenerate
No wonder people grow up all messed up. Psychopaths being allowed around children

[Anonymous No.19395934]

>>19395804
fuck is a thigh gap and how would you be noticing it at night?

[Anonymous No.19395992]

>>19391289
good lord...

[Anonymous No.19396000]

>>19395934
The space between a gal's legs, up near the pussybone.

[Anonymous No.19396008]

>>19388647
I work for the newspaper. They're 100% ingesting a shitload of ink. It rubs off on your hands dry when you just touch them.

[Anonymous No.19396014]

>>19396000
ah i think i know what you mean. but how would you determine that at night when she's got her pussybone out behind you?

[Anonymous No.19396022]

>>19388027
I'm not on any social media besides 4chan so I appreciate them posting the normie memes youve seen 50 times bc they're new to me

[Anonymous No.19396042]

>>19393638
For me it's how the massive light on the table makes his eyes look glazed over and lifeless while he does the routine

[Anonymous No.19396053]

>>19388170
I'm trashman so I would eat this but man it could be improved so easily
>bacon first, then beef, then onions
>herbs, fucking pepper, anything, maybe some tomato
>different cheese than Cheddar Brick
etc... god help us

[Anonymous No.19396195]

>>19387593
>hide all the reposts
>99% of the thread disappears.
classic.

[Anonymous No.19396238]

>>19395934
Found the virgin

[Anonymous No.19396304]

>>19396238
i had some wild sex not even an hour ago barely fit in her ass i felt kinda bad so i jacked off into her mouth.

[Anonymous No.19396353]

>>19396304
Man I remember posting like this when I was a 15 year old incel. Those were the days, I should retvrn to sovl and give up on women

[Anonymous No.19396364]

>>19396353
you're a 16-year-old incel and you still post like a faggot

[Anonymous No.19396425]

>>19393081
was hoping he went for a fire extinguisher...

[Anonymous No.19396506]

>>19387827
For whole cuts, yes, for ground beef? NO, unless you just ground it yourself before consumption.

[Anonymous No.19396520]

>>19394417
please, please, can someone tell me what the fuck he put on that? like, he starts with chips and it could be grobloos and schklooblonks as far as i know whatever the fuck those random shapes and bits he adds on top are

[Anonymous No.19396543]

>>19396520
No idea honestly

[Anonymous No.19396582]

>>19396520
Gummy bears and dates

[Anonymous No.19396685]

>>19388170
>meatbread
amazing, i've not seen this posted in years

[Anonymous No.19396722]

>>19387877
>ayo pops you forgot dem Walmart flyers
>how we sposed to season dem crabs without dat flyer

[Anonymous No.19396787]

>>19393417
Mushrooms are actually extremely amenable to long-form boiling, especially if you're trying to use them for stock or gravies, this is a common misconception.

See EG https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mushroom_ketchup

[Anonymous No.19396789]

>>19393151
The woman stepped on the hose, causing it to do this. They are all retarded, though.

[Anonymous No.19396798]

>>19393387
Anon delivers, thanks fren

[Anonymous No.19396886]

>>19387877
Wypeepo don season dey table

[Anonymous No.19397158]

>>19388330
This is probably one of my favorites

[Anonymous No.19397666]

>>19396787
it's nasty

[Anonymous No.19397670]

>>19396520
candied peanuts, tamarind candies, and pickled plums

[Anonymous No.19397857]

>>19388044
looks dry as fuck

[Anonymous No.19397873]

>>19388647
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuWvHjuz4C8

[Anonymous No.19397880]

>>19388192
>>19388204
onion ratio in both of these are too high, the 'roasting' was too short and he crowded the roasting tray like a fucking dipshit

[Anonymous No.19397893]

>>19388234
lol she pooped that out when she done finished eating it

[Anonymous No.19397895]

>>19388259
he needs to wash his hands

[Anonymous No.19397915]

>>19395804
shes skinny as a rake id make her eat all the fries, and order her a dozen eggs before i would let her sit up so i can smell the her seat

[Anonymous No.19398529]

>>19397873
They're cracking that open and eating what's inside. Not the same as the original webm. These two are not eating ink.

[Anonymous No.19398545]

>>19397873
Fun scene

[Anonymous No.19399282]

>>19388503
that's fucked. i'm mad now.

[Anonymous No.19399296]

>>19387815
>try to make a fish burger
>flops away
thanks posidon

[Anonymous No.19399304]

>>19388026
Buy a hooker.
You'll get a better experience at a 10th of the price.

[Anonymous No.19399312]

>>19388026
based ch0colate fucker

[Anonymous No.19399342]

>>19388170
id fuck that wellington and that fat chick having a bbw mom and ssbbw ex gf unlocked something in meeeee

[Anonymous No.19399389]

>>19399296
>party hard

[Anonymous No.19399414]

>>19388174
I was working in a sweets factory a couple of years ago. We actually could eat the waste that was removed from the line if it was chocolate that could not be melted again. Like stuff with fillings like almond paste. It's not advised because of food related compliances but many people did it. We would also get a couple of bars every week ranging from 1 kg to 3 kg depending on different factors.

[Anonymous No.19399516]

>>19388042
everything but the almonds looks good.
i've rarely ever found a meal enhanced by nuts in it. just a raw, dry, crunchy ingredient. the texture in a dish just annoys me.

[Anonymous No.19399583]

>>19392129
Boomers and gen Xers see the dumbest most obvious baits in the world and immediately fall for them.

[Anonymous No.19399600]

>>19387827
The problem with that bison burger is that it's full of un-rendered fat and connective tissue. Huge white strips of nasty garbage that need to be melted.

[Anonymous No.19399606]

>>19388330
Honestly doesn't look that bad

[Anonymous No.19399619]

>>19387935
>Doesn't take his ring off
There must be 20 year old rancid meat behind that ring

[Anonymous No.19399632]

>>19388161
Never really thought about it but I think this is the first pajeet dish I've ever seen here using mushrooms. Are they really that uncommonly used?

[Anonymous No.19399656]

>>19388166
is there anything more soy than an onions sandwich?
>>19388191

[Anonymous No.19399670]

>>19387817
I wanted to post this, it's so contrived. You could easily sprinkle the bag and around the edges, also the way she cuts the bag open with scissors takes longer than just opening the bag
The whole thing is retarded

[Anonymous No.19399688]

>>19388166
ffmpeg -i 1686940978034368.webm -ss 00:00:00 -to 00:00:50 -c:v copy -c:a copy hipless.webm

[Anonymous No.19399725]

>>19388186
I don't drink, but so many cocktails look delicious. I wish there was something similar for just normal drinks.

[Anonymous No.19399741]

>>19389593
it looks like a giant tumor

[Anonymous No.19399744]

>>19388503
Homosexuals were recognized as a subset of psychopaths for a long time.
Doesnt surprise me the least bit.

[Anonymous No.19399745]

>>19388042
I never knew you could emulsify oil like that, it makes sense

[Anonymous No.19399748]

>>19388239
This one looks good
Have you not had bread pudding before?
This is simply a croissant style variant

[Anonymous No.19399749]

>>19388745
Coca cola wings are excellent and basically the easiest "authentic" Chinese recipe you can make.

[Anonymous No.19399762]

>>19388330
that looks good!

[Anonymous No.19399805]

>>19399688
Saved. Thanks.

[Anonymous No.19399823]

>>19387845
This post is 10/10

[Anonymous No.19399847]

>>19399296
>me when I'm trying to fuck your mum

[Anonymous No.19399990]

>>19387593
Great thread
The cringe collected here is priceless

Cooking is so polarising
Food is a basic need, eating is driven by instinct
And yet cooking can reach the greatest heights of artistry and intellect, to the point where it can become a total abstraction or merely entertainment
Cooking can radiate an aura of pretention, but it can also fall to the lowest depths of the base and mundane

So much of the inspiration for these people is the desire to ape images from TV cooking shows and piggyback on the prestige of celebrity chefs
It's a favorite way to pretend that you have a hobby, when food is prepared to varying degrees of skill by everyone on earth. A lot of people who claim to love cooking have little knowledge or skill. They like to wear a lofty expression of slight smugness as they put on an overly elaborate display, that of an inspired artiste who is completely absorbed in their work while being obviously hyper aware of any attention around them
The cooking show is the most boring and pointless of all forms of media
Its popularity is extremely forced because it is the cheapest possible way for a TV studio to fill a half hour segment, just the cost of the ingredients. The effort required for the whole studio and the team behind the scenes is just that single person standing at an oven
In the UK every daytime show now has an in studio kitchen where they go over for a time killing visit. There are dedicated cooking shows on in the early daytime and evening. I've never once learned anything from them, or tasted an example of the food they create. I have learned a few things from watching youtube videos though, they are usually more specific, tutorial focused, and made by a working chef

These people have gone a step further and transformed the mediocrity of the cooking show into new type of tackiness and catastrophe

[Anonymous No.19401524]

>>19392547
American continent? Yes. It must be Mexican, because I know they make "sopatrole" (instant cup noodles with corn , queso fresco, lemon, and chili paste), but they went too far with the sauces.

[Anonymous No.19401535]

>>19388223
Ummm, cheesed to meet you!

[Anonymous No.19401559]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rUFlU6lVQk
Anyone got the webm of countertop spaghetti?