/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.19361705]

whats the worst way to cook while making it still edible? the company I work at has a weekly potluck and I've usually skated by bringing chips or soda, but now its rotated to me to make the main entree and i dont like cooking for other people.
Im thinking of microwaving an entire frozen chicken breast and making an overcooked spaghetti with ketchup sauce but i dont know if the ketchup is phoning it in

[Anonymous No.19361706]

get really fucking high first
imagine you are in sweden
you are making a local dish where you just throw everything in your fridge in
bananas, chicken, peanuts, bacon, celery, grape jam, mustard, and of course, lots of milk
just simmer for 30 minutes and MMMMM chef's kiss
but really just get high and throw shit together it will suck plenty trust me

[Anonymous No.19361708]

>>19361706
I want them to think im a bad cook, not a complete retard

[Anonymous No.19361709]

>>19361705
>the main entree

Fucking yanks I swear to god.

[Anonymous No.19361710]

>>19361708
coward

[Anonymous No.19361711]

you’ll spend more effort trying to be a dick than if you just bring a crockpot of grape jelly meatballs and hawaiian rolls.

[Anonymous No.19361867]

>>19361705
Just get store-bought hot food and say you made it yourself. It'd be rude to say anything and people will feel insulted they have to play along.

[Anonymous No.19361898]

>>19361705
A hangover, that's never a good way to do anything. With a hangover the best thing to do is just heat some leftovers in a microwave and expect the worst while hoping for the best.

[Anonymous No.19361903]

>>19361711
>grape jelly meatballs
>hawaiian rolls
What the fuck?

[Anonymous No.19361921]

>>19361711
Do you mean these Hawaiian rolls? What sucks about them is that the package is always too small and their aren't enough, otherwise they're really good.

[Anonymous No.19362249]

>>19361705
You dork. You're over thinking things. Just over salt (do not make it inedible, just saltier than 99% would like). Or make something spicy and just make it extra spicy, but again, not so hot its inedible. Put effort into making it good (just much too salty/spicy) so they don't get any idea that you were trying to be a dick so you don't get fired.

[Anonymous No.19362314]

>>19361709
please post country of origin so we can praise your customs anon

[Anonymous No.19362318]

>>19361903
You're not from the south are ya

[Anonymous No.19362329]

>>19361705
Make a large bowl of gruel for the potluck.

[Anonymous No.19362382]

>>19361706
Last few times I cooked while high I did chocolate souffle pancakes, and another time I did a triffle with lemon curd, Greek yoghurt and whipped cream

We are not the same

[Anonymous No.19362952]

>>19361867
This, or even just say you didn't make it, I wouldn't eat homemade food from my coworkers when I've never seen their kitchen and I don't know why they would either

[Anonymous No.19362960]

>>19361708

Slow cook some chili but add an entire diced ghost pepper to it because "this is how my whole family eats it and its normal for us."

[Anonymous No.19363117]

>>19361708
Make something that's fine except over-salt it

[Anonymous No.19363125]

>>19362960
You would have to prove yourself by eating the chili effortlessly or everyone would call you a criminal.

[Anonymous No.19363133]

>>19361708
>>19363117
>>19362960
Oh, and OP, do not put soap/hot pepper/baking soda or anything else like that
If you legit poison (and spicy is considered poison for this purpose) they can fire you and this exposes you to charges and possibly lawsuits
Just make something normal and salt it to like, 2.5 percent salt by weight or just taste it to make sure it's just too fucking salty

[Anonymous No.19363149]

>>19363125
For sure, drink a bunch of water first