You're having members from the Italian Mafia over for dinner in 5 hours

[Anonymous No.19347851]

What do you cook?

[Anonymous No.19347854]

>>19347851
beans and tortillas so that they understand that is better than pasta and sauce

[Anonymous No.19347857]

>>19347851
glass of whiskey and some random italian sausage and cheese

[Anonymous No.19347860]

authentic sausage carbonara

[Anonymous No.19347863]

cheeseburgers, it's not like they're going to cater to my usual diet if i came by

[Anonymous No.19347872]

>>19347851
What I would have right now ready to go for such an occasion: orechiette, broccolini, "spicy" italian sausage, garlic, parmesan to finish

[Anonymous No.19347885]

Pizza

[Anonymous No.19347897]

I'd order a spread from my local Italian place and spend the rest of the time cleaning my apartment and buying wine/alcohol.

[Anonymous No.19347900]

>>19347851
A good, thick Irish stew. Not gonna fucking insult them by butchering Nonna's linguini recipe.

[Anonymous No.19347906]

>>19347863

This would make for a cool movie scene

Some italian crime family sends the head and some goons to meet with a powerful american guy in america. The american guy makes them burgers and fries or whatever. Then the italians get all offended "what the fuck is this, where's my gabagool?!"

Then the american says like "If I went to italy for this meeting, would you have catered to my american tastes? No, you would have just made the thing you know and are known for"

Then tony soprano or whatever takes a bite and loves it - cool

t - /tv/ fag

[Anonymous No.19347912]

>>19347906
American Italians as seen in the sopranos are all in their 80s now. All their kids ear McDonald's and turkey sandwiches with American cheese and wonderbread

[Anonymous No.19347919]

>>19347851
some sausage and leafy vegetable pasta bullshit I always make when I make pasta
fry sausage, take out, boil water, fry onion, vegetable, garlic, lemon zest, hot peppers/pepper flakes, cook pasta, add sausage back to fried stuff pan, add cooked pasta to fried pan, heat off move from stove if electric, dump in some pasta water, add finely grated whatever italian cheese, stir and shake pan, more cheese and pasta water to whatever consistency I like
dump into big ceramic dish your great parents loved, and grandparents, and so on
wa la

[Anonymous No.19347960]

>>19347906

[Anonymous No.19347969]

>>19347906

[Anonymous No.19347974]

>>19347960
>>19347969
AI is not an OC
for fuck's sake /ck/ actually make something and document it

[Anonymous No.19347975]

>>19347969
it fucking annoys me how good chatgpt is

I know it's far from perfect, but the fact that it's as good as it is now is cause for consternation

[Anonymous No.19347976]

>>19347975
it's highly flawed until AI tech reflects the effects of marijuana

[Anonymous No.19347985]

>>19347974
there's a pic of my borg and an elevator pitch that was posted within ten minutes of the OP which are both original.

[Anonymous No.19347987]

>>19347960
>>19347969
I'm not reading this shit
>captcha: MXGASS

[Anonymous No.19347989]

>>19347987
reading is hard for those with low iq

[Anonymous No.19347996]

>>19347989
>reading is hard for those with low iq
reading all the AI thing is easy for low IQ too

[Anonymous No.19348021]

>>19347996
Then you should be able to do it, I believe in you.

[Anonymous No.19348025]

>>19347851
probably sausage and peppers/onions in the crock pot with rolls from the bakery and some pesto gnocchi

[Anonymous No.19348028]

>>19348021
I appreciate your belief in my mission it validates my existence but shan't
thank you for applying

[Anonymous No.19348039]

>>19347851
Spatchcocked roast chicken, because that's my best dish honestly
Crispy roast potatoes
Arugula salad
I'm probably getting shot in this scenario

[Anonymous No.19348077]

>>19348039
Imagine a baked chicken being your most impressive dish

[Anonymous No.19348326]

>>19347975

>BUT I'M A TELEVISION WRITER!
>I DESERVE MORE MONEY!

[Anonymous No.19348355]

Some kind of Italian soup. Almost impossible to fuck up badly enough to get whacked for, and not too hard to impress with.

[Anonymous No.19348366]

>>19347851
dinner is the worst meal thing

[Racist mexican No.19348372]

>>19347851
Zuppa toscana and lasagna and Chicago deep dish pizza

Can't fuck it up

[Anonymous No.19348380]

>>19347851
>You're having members from the Italian Mafia over for dinner in 5 hours

[Anonymous No.19348396]

>>19348380
I haven't seen prices like that since 2020

[Anonymous No.19348404]

A Dr. Oetker frozen pizza and the finest bottle of bottom shelf French or Italian dry red wine.

[Anonymous No.19348494]

>>19347851
Gabagoo

[Anonymous No.19348508]

>>19347969

[Anonymous No.19348900]

>>19347851
Bolognese sauce, but instead of ground meat, they must settle for pepperoni.

[Anonymous No.19348904]

>>19348900
And Barilla spaghetti. Plus no parmesan, just pecorino.

[Anonymous No.19348935]

>>19347969
That's getting exceedingly good

[Anonymous No.19349864]

>>19347969
I actually kek'd, soul

[Anonymous No.19349953]

>>19347851
a jar of ragu, kroger brand spaghetti noodles and frozen meatballs

[Anonymous No.19349957]

>>19349953
theyd eat that shit and say its better than their mothers cooking

[Anonymous No.19349966]

>>19347975
haha your butt is cause for consterpation

[Anonymous No.19349984]

>>19347969
How is a fucking a salad considered American and not eyetalian? Every time I go to Olive Garden they bring out a fucking salad.

[Anonymous No.19350062]

>>19347906
kino

[Anonymous No.19350187]

>>19347851
Tortellini with pancetta

[Anonymous No.19350219]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Zxd1XnL0Sk

[Anonymous No.19350949]

>>19347851
Bobby flays meatballs, oven baked Italian sausage, my girlfriends best Sunday gravy, and pasta

[Anonymous No.19351163]

>>19347854
>>19347857
>>19347919
>>19348039
>>19348380
>>19348404
>>19348900
>>19349953

>"wtf is this shit? am I a joke to you?"
Mr Soprano was not impressed, now you sleep with the fishes.

[Anonymous No.19351175]

I think the odds of them being offended by me making authentic italian food "wrong" is higher than them being offended by some french food, so probably a stew, bourguinon, maybe? I've never seen somebody dislike it who isnt a retardedly picky eater or a literal child

[Anonymous No.19351180]

>>19351175
Spoonful of stew ontop of mashed potatoes? Why not just a bowl?

[Anonymous No.19351184]

Cherry tomato, basil, and goat cheese bruschetta with Pinot Grigio as an appetizer followed with a lemon, garlic, parsley, and shrimp fettuccine pasta, and finally a rhubarb pie with vanilla ice cream for dessert.

[Anonymous No.19351197]

>>19351180
A bowl wouldve worked fine, but so does a plate

[Anonymous No.19351201]

>>19347906
oh are you a /tv/ fag? yeah everyone on this board goes to /tv/. i see you picked up some nice reddit spacing too, along with your god awful movie idea.

[Anonymous No.19351415]

>>19351163
Guessed as much. RIP

[Anonymous No.19351600]

i make tomato sauce with my secret ingredient Jamaican Jerky seasoning

[Anonymous No.19351613]

>>19347851
gumbo filled with rat poison. dagos are fucking scum.

[Anonymous No.19351617]

>>19351201
not me, I hate that board. its funkopop central.

[Anonymous No.19351829]

Zuppa di pavese
Veal liver venetian style and polenta
Tiramisu

[Anonymous No.19352483]

>>19349984
Poetic.

[Anonymous No.19352501]

>>19349984
>How is a fucking a salad considered American
It says this salad had "croutons and a tangy dressing", both things you'd typically find in a Caesar salad, something eaten almost exclusively in the anglosphere.

[Anonymous No.19352691]

>>19352501
>Caesar salad
Caesar was Roman, dipshit

[Anonymous No.19352726]

>>19352691
Roman is salad, illiterate broccolihead

[Anonymous No.19352766]

>>19352501
Salad was considered poison until Queen Elizabeth started dated a Frenchman
It's not an Anglo thing at all

[Anonymous No.19352767]

>>19347906
based

[Anonymous No.19354510]

>>19347851
I'm doing the full 7 courses. Plenty of wine throughout. Appertivo, antipasto, primi, secundi with the contorni, insalata, formaggio e frutta, dolce, cafe, digestivo. If you've never tried it, do it. It's all family style and it's a great way to spend 3 hours. I usually skip the coffee but some people like it.

[Anonymous No.19354987]

>>19347851
I would cook Spaghetti and Meatballs and Focaccia.
I'd also buy a couple bottles of wine.
They'd enjoy it, it's authentic and very tasty.

[Anonymous No.19354988]

>>19347851
Fuck it, I give up and let them whack me off or whatever they call it.

[Anonymous No.19355046]

>>19347851
This is a tough one. For insurance I'm bringing my abuelita, perhaps if they see that the food is made with love they will go easy on us. They respect nonna's so they might respect abuelitas.

First we will have the appetizers which will be chips and salsa and guacamole, its impossible to dislike chips

Then the pozole

Then I will make them ice cream sundaes. If they don't like the chips or pozole at least I'm finishing up with ice cream which most everyone likes so it ends the meal with a good impression.

If they are still peckish I will serve coffee with a variety of breads.

[Anonymous No.19355347]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jh13Xd2loto

[Anonymous No.19355404]

he best spagbol they ever had

[Anonymous No.19356468]

Lines and grappa

[Anonymous No.19357155]

>>19347885
>>19347897
Huge delivery order gets noticed because the place is run by a rival, and you get the hideout bombed. Game over.

[Anonymous No.19357750]

>>19347969
That was genuinely wholesome

[Anonymous No.19357795]

>>19347851
We're having fried catfish, hushpuppies and coleslaw because that's good eatin'.

[Anonymous No.19359392]

Michelina's

[Anonymous No.19359616]

>>19347851
chicken cacciatore and polenta, just like my nona used to make

[Anonymous No.19359649]

>>19347851
Something poisonous.

[Anonymous No.19359652]

>>19347851
Where are they from? Can't serve them Sicilian shit if they're from Naples.

[Anonymous No.19359701]

>>19348380
>pizza butt

[Anonymous No.19360313]

>>19347851
I'll start them off with a nice plate of dandelion salad, and end with something filling like Timballo.

Captcha: 4ySOYt

[Anonymous No.19361652]

>>19360313
Ay yooooo whuddahell is this!

[Anonymous No.19362271]

>>19347851
order papa johns

[Anonymous No.19362284]

>>19348396
nigger you got to order the magnificent at marcos pizza online with the coupin code

[Anonymous No.19362295]

>>19362284
Ultimate magnifico* for like 13bucks and the pepperoni one is 10bucks

[Anonymous No.19362310]

>>19347851
i go make a bbq. maybe be a bit careful with the sides. Just have a bunch of good meat and sausages. they're happy if they got some good beef.

[Anonymous No.19362344]

>>19347851
Catfish courtbouillon. It’s a creole dish, which is basically Italian-Cajun fusion before the word “fusion” was used to describe food.

[Anonymous No.19364165]

The mafia aren't sadistic psychos. If you invite them over for free food and you even put a normal amount of effort into it they will thank you and be on their way, or help you in the future.

[Anonymous No.19364516]

>>19347851