/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.19279512]

Confess.

[Anonymous No.19279516]

I spend easily over £200+ on food delivery every month.

[Anonymous No.19279517]

i just woke up and ate 20 chick fil a nuggets

[Anonymous No.19279520]

I haven't gotten groceries in almost a month

[Anonymous No.19279522]

>>19279516
>I spend easily over £200+ on food delivery every month.
uhhhh do you mean morrisons or asda or something ?

[Anonymous No.19279525]

>>19279512
I want to eat a human tongue. preferably from clean person.

[Anonymous No.19279531]

>>19279525
human flesh tastes bad, not terrible but worse than pretty much any widely consumed meat

[Anonymous No.19279533]

>>19279522
I mean like Deliveroo, Just Eat, etc

[Anonymous No.19279537]

I am a bad cook and usually made some form of slop. Nutritional slop, but slop nonetheless. And if I want it creamy, not matter what the ingredients are, I dollop some mayonnaise in the mix and honestly it's never made the food taste worse.

[Anonymous No.19279545]

>>19279537
if you enjoy making it and enjoy eating it, youve already won anon

[Anonymous No.19279558]

I only started cooking at 23 and learned by working my way through a freezer full of meat. Wasted about $1000 worth of filet mignon, NY strips, and tbones teaching myself how to cook some of the easiest proteins in the world to cook

[Anonymous No.19279567]

>>19279512
I can't be bothered to make red sauce from scratch that takes more than an hour.
I add some garlic powder and wine to store bought pasta sauce and it comes out great every time.

[Anonymous No.19279570]

I’m too depressed to eat but it saves money.

[Anonymous No.19279605]

>>19279545

[Anonymous No.19279621]

>>19279516
>£50 takeaway once per week
Easily done when you're living alone in London. Enjoy this time while it lasts, you won't be at university forever.

[Anonymous No.19280083]

>>19279512
I have an intense desire to learn to cook but i don't because every time i attempt to cook anything my grandmother and mother butt in to help me and end up cooking everything while i didn't besides them and I'm too much of a wuss to talk to them rudely and tell them to let me cook.

[Anonymous No.19280089]

>>19280083
I hope you will try to be assertive and tell them how you feel. Maybe before you start cooking tell them both “ I’m trying to learn how to cook so please don’t help me today” that way if they do you can remind them, politely, about what you already said.

[Anonymous No.19280099]

I just made and ate soba noodles for the first time. Do japs really go crazy for this shit? It's literally just boiled flour dipped in some soy sauce. I just had a large bowl and my stomach is still empty.

[Anonymous No.19280105]

>>19279517
OP said "confess", not brag

[Anonymous No.19280151]

>>19279567
how is that a sin?

[Anonymous No.19280219]

>>19279516
im probably hitting over £1000 at this point. once or twice daily, each time around £30.

[Anonymous No.19280594]

My culinary interests and by extension my diet are entirely determined by the woman I currently have a crush on. She could be anyone from a girl I see regularly at work to a cute girl I made eye contact with for a split second at the store. For example, if the woman appears to be latina, then I'll spend the next few days to weeks researching and cooking latin American dishes with the most authentic ingredients I can find. I'm currently on a Lebanese kick after talking to a beautiful Lebanese woman on the bus earlier this week. I ordered a pestle for making hummus yesterday, it should be here soon.

I like to imagine I invite one of these girls over to my house and manage to woo with her my impressive, deep knowledge of the cuisine of her culture. I cook a meal for her and then we make passionate love on my couch after a glass of wine, but I'm not focused on the sex. The whole time I'm inside her I'm asking her what she thought of the meal and she keeps telling me how it delicious it was between her soft moans of pleasure. Needless to say I've never actually managed to have any of these woman over, nor have I tried, but it's about the thrill of the chase more than reaching the goal.

[Anonymous No.19280604]

Had four of these and threw the other two away because I have no candy self-control

[Anonymous No.19280617]

>>19279516
>>19279621
>>19280219
I spend £50 a week on groceries (sometimes £30), I cook at home, and haven't had a take way in about 6 months

[Anonymous No.19280656]

I always start my red sauce pastas with the store-bought base and then season from there.

I add a little bit of garlic powder and shallots to my aglio e olio because I'm too impatient to let the garlic brown.

Despite having been cooking for myself for over 5 years, I still use a meat thermometer on everything I fucking cook.

[Anonymous No.19280758]

I just ate 4 chocolate muffins, 4 slices of cake and half a cheesecake.

[Anonymous No.19280765]

>>19280758
You’re probably normal or underweight.

[Anonymous No.19280770]

>>19280765
114kg

[Anonymous No.19280809]

>>19280770
this is severely underweight for an American (and don't pretend you are not by using metric), seek medical help immediately, get into your "truck" and drive to the closest 24hrs McDonalds or any other similar establishment and order the most greasiest quadruple mcchicken combo meal loaded with most saturated fat, five different fatty sauces and ten double cheeses and and good topping of sugar, butter and half a pound of salt and msg. GO, go now, be quick! or you won't make it through the night!

[Anonymous No.19280816]

One time I put a bunch of chocolate whey and sugar in hot water and pretended it was hot cocoa because it was all I had to eat

[Anonymous No.19280838]

>>19279512
I pulled my little sister's underwear to the side and slid my right index finger inside her.

[Anonymous No.19280850]

>>19279512
I’m about to make another drink

[Anonymous No.19280859]

>>19280838
Pics or it didn't happen

[Anonymous No.19280863]

My worst cooking gaff to date involves being too prideful to read the instructions:

>making beef stroganoff
>instructions are tiny on my phone screen
>broigotthis.jpg
>put a cup of flour in the pan
>that seems a bit much
>add another cup
>aw shit I know it's too much now
>re-read recipe and release I was reading the right portion for the wrong ingredient
>roommate walks in on me attempting to salvage flour
>"pizza tonight then?"

Don't be silly. Read and re-read directions before jumping in

[Anonymous No.19280896]

> Recipe calls for unsalted butter
> Use salted butter

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me

[Anonymous No.19280910]

>>19280896
Lol same so much

[Anonymous No.19280950]

runny yolk /soft boiled egg enjoyers are basically cum fiends
and that’s ok

[Anonymous No.19280956]

>>19279567
What kind of wine is good for this?

[Anonymous No.19280973]

i'm a ketolard

[Anonymous No.19281007]

>>19280594
>

[Anonymous No.19281011]

>>19279525
based, my confession is that I browse /fit/ and tell posters with juicy muscles how tasty they would be if I chopped their limbs off and cooked them with butter

[Anonymous No.19281019]

>>19280896
>recipe calls for baking soda
>use baking powder
I like to live on the edge

[Anonymous No.19281026]

>>19280896
>>19281019
That's fine for cooking. Try baking like that and come back, I want to laugh at your failure

[Anonymous No.19281057]

>>19281011
I'd think they'd like that compliment

[Anonymous No.19281062]

I confess to id'ing the prior 7-8 posts before you as kike propaganda. How can you propogandize food. Kike?

[Anonymous No.19281082]

>>19281026
I use salted butter in all my baking. Nothing changes. Stop being a faggot

[Anonymous No.19281124]

>>19281082
This is me laughing at you for failing to understand baking science
>lol

[Anonymous No.19281331]

>>19280956
Get a rosé wine.
I like snoop dog 13 crimes

[Anonymous No.19281339]

meatless spaghetti with jarred sauce is the only thing I cook 99% of the time

[Anonymous No.19281342]

>>19281082
>>19281124
I too, laugh at this
>kek

[Anonymous No.19281373]

>>19279512
I sometimes lick the plate after im done eating.

[Anonymous No.19281416]

>>19279512
In a dark spell I once used a slab of dry ramen as "toast" and covered it in cream cheese and strawberry jam.

[Anonymous No.19281561]

I suck at making burgers. I cook roasts, steaks, chops, and more to perfect temps but for some godforsaken reason I always wind up over cooking my burgers.

[Order4me !!xZGJdtX6tk1 No.19281580]

>>19279512
I never rig my thread’s tournaments, but I wish that I would one day.

[Anonymous No.19281938]

>>19280219
What a chad

[Anonymous No.19281965]

>>19279512
Ive grilled so much im getting tired of it and my skill is slipping. I like making burgers and brats and easy stuff on the grill, but chicken and steaks i find are better done on the oven. I fucked up 4 steaks last time i grilled and havent touched the thing since. I forgot the timing on a steak on the grill and didnt bother to look it up, so they were so overcooked they were barely edible, and hte chicken thighs i made were cooked perfect, but they were boring and id rather have baked them or slow cooked them.

[Anonymous No.19281971]

>>19281965
how do you fuck up grilling that bad, it's literally all instinct

[Anonymous No.19281974]

>>19281971
ive made steaks and chicken and everything well on the grill before, like I said im getting tired of grilling so my skill is slipping. That`s why im confessing the sin here

[Anonymous No.19281978]

>>19279512
Crumbled bacon is a cheat code

[Anonymous No.19281982]

>>19281974
sounds like you need to try some new recipes. try grilling a whole fish

[Anonymous No.19281998]

>>19279512
the gay thoughts keep coming back, I was only happy in the arms of my bf but they hate faggots here :(

[Anonymous No.19282028]

>>19281007

[Anonymous No.19282039]

>>19279512
I'm scared to go into a butchers in case I say the wrong thing and everyone starts laughing at me.

What are modern day butchers even like with so much competition from supermarkets? Do they have to sell in bulk now to make a profit or could I go in there and ask for one pork chop or two sausages?

[Anonymous No.19282045]

My least favorite part of baking is that the ingredient quantities are often listed by weight rather than volume.

Even though I don't care for baking all that much, I still want a KitchenAid mixer. I would use it for whipping, beating, and pasta-making.

I'm not a knife autist, but I want to be. I normally use whatever is available in whatever kitchen I happen to be using.

I normally hate TikTok, but I only watch it for two things: the thots & the food-related content. I actually like some of the recipes (the somewhat legit ones like the feta tomato pasta, not the NyQuil chicken nonsense), and I like looking for new restaurants to try out.

The most calories I've eaten in one sitting (that I know of) is 4142. I only know the exact number because I'm reading them off a McDonald's chart.

The most pizza I've eaten in one sitting was 19 slices. No relation to my calorie record, I actually don't know how many calories this was. These were large pizzas from a national chain.

I've participated in numerous eating contests.
>5-pound burrito challenge; finish under 30 minutes & it's free (finished it in 29:02)
>contest to see who can down the most root beer floats (I dunno how many I had, but I won)
>hot sauce endurance test; who can hold a spoonful of sauce in their mouth the longest (I was second place)
>who can eat the most tacos at this one particular taco stand (the record was 18.5; I only made it up to 11)

Since someone's gonna point it out, I am overweight. Strangest part is, I'm not morbidly obese, I have a dad-bod at most. I am not American, though.

[Anonymous No.19282061]

>>19279512
I'm french and i'm using cheese like Munster or Roquefort when i'm cooking something mexican.

[Anonymous No.19282083]

>>19282039
You can ask for small quantities, hell it's one of the main advantages butchers have.

[Anonymous No.19282086]

>>19279605
Do not eat the cat though!

[Anonymous No.19282090]

>>19280594
Culinary Psycho

[Anonymous No.19282099]

>>19282045
>My least favorite part of baking is that the ingredient quantities are often listed by weight rather than volume.
Never understood why Americans have this inexplicable hatred of measuring by weight. If anything measuring by weight is easier because you can do it in the mixing bowl, whereas with volume you have to dirty a measuring cup as well.

[Anonymous No.19282101]

I relish eating chhole bhature thrice, and paneer fried rice six to seven times a week.

[Anonymous No.19282106]

>>19282101
good morning sir

[Anonymous No.19282109]

I've never made homemade wheat bread and I'm going to be attempting it for the first time in 2 days.

[Anonymous No.19282113]

>>19282106
Awesome afternoon, Anon!

[Anonymous No.19282126]

>>19282109
Based. Don't use too much water, that was always my fuckup.

[Anonymous No.19282337]

>>19279512
Nothing I ever cook tastes good.
The only exception being burrito fillings, which is honestly just fried chicken with peppers and a dash of tabasco

[Anonymous No.19282341]

>>19279512
When I want to get rid of a boner, I imagine ugly british politicians having sex

[Anonymous No.19282345]

>>19281373
at a restaurant?

[Anonymous No.19282533]

>>19280656
>Despite having been cooking for myself for over 5 years, I still use a meat thermometer on everything I fucking cook.
This is actually best practice.

[Anonymous No.19282536]

>>19282039
the butcher near me is some kind of artisan who does absolutely delicious sausages, that's about the only reason i'd ever go to one

[Anonymous No.19282541]

>>19281974
>>19281965
Use a meat thermometer

[Anonymous No.19282560]

>>19279512
Everyone thinks I have discipline, but I just have a really fast metabolism. I can go on beer and pizza binges and only get the smallest of guts, while other people starve themselves and still turn into fatties.
>>19279525
>>19279531
If cellular meat becomes widely available, you just know there will be a market for ethical cannibalism.
>>19281011
>>19281057
They would taste awful, because they are lean and sinewy. What you want is a former athlete who has since let himself go and turned into a dadbod. There's a reason you fatten animals before slaughter.
>Disclaimer: I do not endorse cannibalism

[Anonymous No.19282590]

>>19279512
I break my spaghetti before I boil it im so sorry :(

[Anonymous No.19282594]

>>19282590
Why? Why would you do such a thing?

[Anonymous No.19282604]

I have the flu and I've eaten nothing but pudding for the last 3 days

[Anonymous No.19282606]

>>19279512
I am an alcohol

[Anonymous No.19282665]

>>19281026
baking? what do I look like, a woman?

[Anonymous No.19282738]

>>19279512
i use a roux to thicken my chicken curry sauce
i won't stop

[Anonymous No.19282753]

whenever i eat cheese curds ill heat them up in the microwave first

[Anonymous No.19282760]

>>19279545
least based /ck/ing

[Anonymous No.19282790]

>>19282665
Baking is a science. Womenfolk have no business attempting it.

[Anonymous No.19282811]

I make cook along threads purely for shitposting and I don't give a fuck how mediocre the food is.

[Anonymous No.19282814]

>>19282341
Yeah I usually lose my boner after I cum too.

[Anonymous No.19282833]

>>19279512
I've never poached an egg.
...because how hard is it to poach a goddamned egg???

[Anonymous No.19282926]

>>19279512
i use minced garlic from a jar 90% of thr time

[Anonymous No.19282938]

>>19282606
I drink you

[Anonymous No.19282977]

>>19282345
Nah, just at home when im by myself. Im not that autistic.

[Anonymous No.19282982]

i add chicken stock cubes to basically everything

[Anonymous No.19282987]

>>19279512
When I'm lazy i add chips to my sandwich for crunch instead of toasting the bread.

[Anonymous No.19282996]

I always cook when my sil stays over because she comes to check whats cooking and rubs her body on me while checking the pots. Boobs and a couple of times ive felt her swollen pussy on my knuckles through her leggings. I dont think I can stop myself from groping next time. What should I cook when I go in for the trump squeeze?

[Anonymous No.19283008]

>>19281561
what is there to mess up? what i do is for a ball with the meat and press it into a circle, then press the sides out so the outside 1cm or so is taller than the inside, then turn it over and do that again so it's more uniform. then salt and pepper the top, put seasoned side on pan (at like 7) or grill and wait until just after you see the brown on the bottom get darker. then flip it and salt and pepper the top, reduce heat to 5, add nice cheese on top, and add a sprinkle of water to the pan right before covering it. then let it sit for a minute and a half or so/remove from heat when ready, let it sit for a bit and then turn the heat to low if the cheese needs more melting. perfectly done burger everytime, if you want a more rare burger make it thicker

[Anonymous No.19283014]

>>19281998
i fucked a tranny in a dream last night. she was pretty and i didn't really consciously believe she was a tranny and didn't see her dick or anything so i don't think it was gay

[Anonymous No.19283019]

>>19282536
about 70% of ground beef sold in america has pink slime if you want another reason to go to the butcher

[Anonymous No.19283036]

>>19282926
minced garlic in a jar tastes fucking terrible

[Anonymous No.19283047]

>>19281561
Make your burgers fatter, or reduce your frying time bro
you can do it, take the risk on it being a little more rare than you would like

[Anonymous No.19283138]

>>19283036
you can barely taste garlic in a finished dish regarsless unless you're some shitskin who drowns everything in it

[Anonymous No.19283149]

>>19283138
or maybe you can't cook, and are using far too many ingredients

[Anonymous No.19283157]

>>19279512
i eat grocery store sushi

[Anonymous No.19283186]

>>19279512
I like to bite butter off the stick then put salt in my mouth and let them dissolve together.

[Anonymous No.19283216]

>>19279512
I don't like vegetables and kind of wonder if everyone else is just pretending to to show how adult they are.

[Anonymous No.19283221]

>>19283149
maybe you're a dumb nigger, ever think of that?

[Anonymous No.19283266]

>>19280594

[Anοnymous No.19283300]

No one in my family trusts me to cook because I accidentally left the plastic on the pizza one time.
Also my cooking fucking sucks unless it's something like a grilled cheese or hot dog.

[Anonymous No.19283355]

>>19283300
hmmm

[Anonymous No.19283376]

>>19283019
really? how do you avoid the slime?

[Anonymous No.19283383]

>>19283376
never mind your post answered my question duhh

still shocked if that is a true stat for ground beef though

[Anonymous No.19283496]

>>19283383
>In March 2012, 70% of ground beef in the U.S. contained lean finely textured beef, and a year later in March 2013 the amount was estimated by meat industry officials to be at approximately 5%. This significant reduction is due in part to the extensive media coverage that began in March 2012 about the additive. Kroger Co. and Supervalu Inc. have stopped using the additive.

>Cargill started using a label stating "Contains Finely Textured Beef" from 2014. Production of finely textured beef increased modestly,[citation needed] as beef prices rose by 27% over two years in 2014 and "retailers [sought] cheaper trimmings to include in hamburger meat and processors find new products to put it in". Senior management of Cargill claimed almost full recovery as sales tripled.[62] BPI regained 40 customers that are mostly processors and patty-makers who distribute to retailers and the USDA since March 2012. It does not label its product.

>In December 2018, lean finely textured beef was reclassified as "ground beef" by the Food Safety And Inspection Service of the United States Department Of Agriculture. This occurred after Beef Products Incorporated submitted new production processes and "a new product" to the Food Safety And Inspection Service, the agency determined that the product may be labeled as "ground beef".

from wikipedia

[Anonymous No.19283520]

>>19280758
Woman behavior

[Anonymous No.19283605]

>>19283496
>In December 2018, lean finely textured beef was reclassified as "ground beef" by the Food Safety And Inspection Service of the United States Department Of Agriculture.
Well fuck
Euro bros please tell that the taxes I pay to the vast EU overmind means our ground beef supply is safe?

[Anonymous No.19283706]

>>19283605
>The product is not allowed in Canada due to the presence of ammonia, and is banned for human consumption in the European Union.

[Anonymous No.19283821]

>>19283520
Judging others by their food choice is a thing women do, often.

[Anonymous No.19284071]

>>19282345
I have before but just to make the people I’m with laugh. I do it sneakily and no other patrons see.

[Anonymous No.19284525]

I live with my gf and her mother in an apartment complex and am usually the one who cooks. I’ve never been opposed to this, in fact I prefer cooking for everyone because I know my shit tastes good. Lately, my gf’s mother has been requesting me to cook things for her, to bring to work or to eat at home, and I happily obliged. After a while I decided to experiment, I made a red sauce which I added a lot of butter to, as well as a scoop of protein powder. I also made a batch of double butter cookies for her, also with protein powder. It’s shameful but watching her gain weight in all the perfect places is too much of a reward. My girlfriend has gotten larger as well but her mom is nearly back to her post-pregnancy size. Idk if she knows I’m making her bigger on purpose but I’m not going to stop lol.

[Anonymous No.19284529]

I know how to cook I would say above average in quality yet most of my meals is still processed box shit. It's sad.

[Anonymous No.19284641]

>>19283266
flabulous

[Anonymous No.19284687]

one time I walked into a chinky to buy some soda (they're open till 10, the dairies are only open until 8), and after a minute of waiting for somebody to show up at the counter, I just grabbed a bottle and walked out.
They deserved it.

[Anonymous No.19284739]

>>19284687
i swear chinese run places all ignore you out of spite even though they ALWAYS have that sensor at the door that goes bing-bong when you walk in

[Anonymous No.19284745]

I add too much paprika to everything, to the point that people can spot if I made a dish vs someone else.
also I got an interview confirmed at a food company as a scientist and im scared shitless about it

[Anonymous No.19284757]

>>19282753
it brings the squeak back, i cant blame you

[Anonymous No.19285298]

>>19283149
This seems the more likely scenario to me.

[Anonymous No.19285344]

>>19279512
I bought my little sister a vibrator for Christmas last year because she nagged me about it constantly.

[Anonymous No.19285380]

>>19285344
did you show her how to use it?

[Anonymous No.19285395]

>>19285380
Of course. She can't read yet.

[Anonymous No.19285408]

>>19285395
Basado

[Anonymous No.19285409]

>>19279512
90% of my grocery list is a variety of Campbell’s soups and canned sardines/mackerel.
This was basically how I ate before I got married to my Karen Carpenter lookalike and what I eat whenever I cook for myself.

[Anonymous No.19286543]

>>19279512
I have never drank coke, pepsi, or similar fizzy drink
I have never eaten ketchup as a sauce, such as with chips, or in a sandwich - only as an ingredient
I dip my chips in mayo

[Anonymous No.19286562]

>>19280594

[Anonymous No.19286573]

>>19280089
NTA, but I had the same problem. The thing is, mothers and grandmothers never stop seeing you like a baby, no matter how much you'd express how that makes you feel. Just wat til you move out

[Anonymous No.19286607]

The week of my birthday, I had:
>an all you can eat buffet with my colleagues (I ate until I wanted to throw up)
>an all you can eat chinese buffet with my friends
>2 whole cakes (each made for 8 people)
>multiple takeout meals
It's been a month and I still hate myself

[Anonymous No.19286617]

>>19286543
Euro? American mayo as a fry/chip sauce would be revolting

[Anonymous No.19286619]

>>19279512
When people order veggie burguers, I fry them over the grease of normal burguers so they get flavor.

To this day no one has complained about it, they all seem to love how much it tastes like real meat.

[Anonymous No.19286745]

>>19282045

volumetric measuring is beyond fucking retarted what are you on mate

[Anonymous No.19286773]

trying to lose weight because diabeetus and just cracked, hard
rip my health

[Anonymous No.19286780]

>>19280594
u good?

[Anonymous No.19286807]

i crampost regularly but have crammed almost no vegetables into my own anus

[Anonymous No.19286851]

I tell people I'm a cook but I've only ever worked fast food. My home cooking is pretty mediocre.

[Anonymous No.19286946]

>>19279512
I used to torch and squeeze my burgers when I'd cook them. Like squeeze the juice out of them, cook them until they were crispy and black. I didn't like it but I did it anyway, because the grease would fuck with my acid reflux. I take medicine now and make burgers much better but it was a bad practice.

[Anonymous No.19287190]

I love eating but I hate fat people. The main reason I cook is because if I'm going to "only" have a set amount to eat every day, it should taste godlike.

[Anonymous No.19287654]

>>19279512
I genuinely love the sloppa at Panda Express. It's greasy and gross and dear God I love it.

[Anonymous No.19287657]

>>19279512
I hate jews, Blacks, Mexicans and canadians.

[Anonymous No.19287730]

>>19279567

Same. Every so often I will make my own sauce but it's such a pain in the ass so I just use jarred. In fact, that's for dinner tonight. Hard pasta, too because there's no way I'm making that shit from scratch at 19:44 on a Thursday.

[Anonymous No.19287736]

>>19279512
I keep telling myself I'll only have X many cookies with tea so I can ensure the Price/day remains low, but sometimes, I just look over and begin munchin'...

[Anonymous No.19287742]

>>19287736
I need to restrain myself during shopping because I can't restrain myself at home.

[Anonymous No.19287765]

>>19284525
Actually pretty based, I’ve been doing the same thing for the past 4 years except with my gf and her sister. I cook 90% of the meals and I pop these butter balls in just about everything I make for them. It’s a 4D chess move

[Anonymous No.19287861]

>>19283138
overcooking garlic? i do it a lot kills the flavour

[Anonymous No.19288108]

>>19279512
I thought that tran-e posted in the other tread was kind of cute.

[Anonymous No.19288142]

>>19279512
I like to cook more then eating what I cooked.

[Anonymous No.19288147]

I eat Kraft Peanut Butter straight out of the jar with a butter knife every night.
I don't even buy bread anymore, I just eat a third of a jar.

[Anonymous No.19288194]

Jennifer Kesse is in Lake Okeechobee.

[Anonymous No.19288222]

>>19288147
I do this, but I don't use a butter knife,

I use a chocolate bar.

[Anonymous No.19288265]

>>19288222
how decadent

[Anonymous No.19288268]

>>19279516
I spend at least $200/week if that makes you feel better

[Anonymous No.19288428]

>>19288194
And how do you know that, my friend?

[Anonymous No.19288433]

>>19288108
is the pic still up?

[Anonymous No.19288442]

>>19284525
based architect

[Anonymous No.19288493]

i just relapsed on 3 months of sobriety

[Anonymous No.19289938]

>>19279512
There was a period during which I threw away probably like 5kg of meat

[Anonymous No.19290038]

>>19288493
Start again my friend.
Go to AA seek help

[Anonymous No.19290075]

>>19279512
I enjoy messing with people's food when they are rude to staff.

[Anonymous No.19290537]

>obese female
>go vegan at 15 after watching factory farm gore
>lose 40lb, stay vegan for 4 years, no health problems, feel conistently pretty
>become master chef because no vegan restaurants
>get a fatass boyfriend, convinces me to eat meat again
>revert to eating maccies and chips every day
>gain 60lb
>pick up smoking habit
>heave every time i walk upstairs
>breakup with boyfriend years later
>currently nearing morbid obesity and have to start all over again
be nice to your vegan friends or else they'll turn into fat retards

[Anonymous No.19290591]

>>19288493
sending good vibes your way

[Anonymous No.19291015]

>>19282996
dont do it bro, will fuck everything up forever. dont let some 4chan fantasy ruin your life.

[Anonymous No.19291055]

>>19290537
based carnivore architect

[Anonymous No.19291141]

>>19281026
>Recipe calls for unsalted butter and a pinch of salt
>Use salted butter instead

u mad?

[Anonymous No.19291166]

>>19280594
This rocks I might start doing this

[Anonymous No.19291246]

>>19286617
Bong
Tastes the same as Euro

[Anonymous No.19291434]

>>19288493
Alcoholism is a bitch anon. I'm actually in a sober home at the moment and have struggled with drinking on and off for about half my life. Just gather yourself together and string together some time being sober again. Wishing you the best anon.

[Anonymous No.19291439]

>>19288433
Nope, thread got shitcanned soon before I posted this.

[Anonymous No.19291462]

I eat mcdonnals at least once a month, nothing fancy, just a cheeseburger no pickles or condiments
It just makes me feel safe for a few minutes

[Anonymous No.19291466]

>>19291462
>It just makes me feel safe for a few minutes
liar

[Anonymous No.19291483]

>>19291466
t.never got treated cheeseburgers as a kid because your mum was a lazy cunt so it became a comfort food

[Anonymous No.19291494]

>>19279512
i pretend salt from the ocean tastes different enough to regular salt to pay considerably more money for it

[Anonymous No.19291505]

>>19291494
i used to just go collect saltwater from the ocean i lived by and boil the water until only the salt was left. apparently this is like really bad for you or something but i did this a lot and never got sick from it and it tasted very good and was free

[Anonymous No.19291515]

>>19291505
>really bad for you
>according to studies financed by the sea salt industry
I call bullshit.

[Anonymous No.19291543]

>>19291515
i agree

[Anonymous No.19291847]

>>19279512
ive started watering down my spirits

[Anonymous No.19291911]

>>19290537
YWNBAFR

[Anonymous No.19292497]

>>19282099
>>19286745
I hate measuring by weight because I need a scale. I worry that I'll accidentally throw too much in. I'm bad at eyeballing weight, but I do alright with volume.

>add one cup of X
Pretty easy, don't always need a measuring cup. I get it pretty close.

>add 100 grams of X
Fuck, I don't know what 100 grams looks like.

A cup is a cup no matter the ingredient. A specific number of grams or ounces is gonna look different for every ingredient. Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.19292521]

Sometimes I throw away unopened goyslop I just bought but then later take it out the trash and eat it. I need help

[Anonymous No.19292577]

>>19291494
Wait where does "regular salt" come from then?

[Anonymous No.19292580]

I put the mudballs in the beef stew
>and I fear I might do it again

[Anonymous No.19292615]

>>19288222
Post BMI, now !

[Anonymous No.19292863]

>>19279567

Lord you're fucking dumb. Basic bitch arrabbiata takes like 15 minutes and it's always better than crap from a jar. Garlic powder?? Fuck outta here

[Anonymous No.19292867]

>>19280656

Why not just get a can of peeled tomatoes, crush them, add salt and pepper? It's a great base, then you're just looking for garlic, shallots, chili, basil, whatever

[Anonymous No.19292968]

>>19281339
unbelievably based

[Anonymous No.19292983]

I make pizzas with precooked dough, "pizza sauce" can and mystery shredded cheese.
10/10

[Anonymous No.19293089]

>>19292983

You are so close to eating good pizza, just make your own sauce bro. Shredding your own mozzarella is ideal but really the sauce is so important. Premade dough is completely fine. But buy a can of peeled tomatoes, crush by hand, add salt and pepper. Basil at the very end of the cook. It's healthier and tastes better.

[Anonymous No.19293132]

>Warning: Cancer and Reproductive harm
I've eaten these a few times this week... Am I gonna die, anons?

[Anonymous No.19293169]

>>19293132
Those warnings only apply to California
Don't worry about it if you live outside of CA
But if you're in CA you're fucked, write your will and last testaments

[Anonymous No.19293189]

>>19293169
All of these gay CA gov cancer warnings has made me routinely disregard all safety warnings. I have to catch myself because I will see a flammable material warning and think useless idk then stop and realize oh this is an actual warning. And the shit is so broad that it completely obscures actually cancerous/harmful products.

[Anonymous No.19293194]

I've followed recipes from the 'Cooking with Jack' show.

[Anonymous No.19293209]

>>19279512
That kike Heston Blumenthal really did find the best batter for fish'n'chips, my basic bitch cheap fish came out stupendous.

[Anonymous No.19293216]

>>19292577
the salt mine/quarry

[Anonymous No.19293219]

>>19293194
And you survived? Fascinating.

[Anonymous No.19293244]

>>19293216
Pretty much all salt I see in stores is from the sea. Maybe it's just the region

[Anonymous No.19294017]

>>19290537
Fat people should be arrested and forced into extreme low calorie diets to cleanse their bodies.

[Anonymous No.19294132]

>>19279512
I really enjoy bread with just mayonnaise, good homemade mayo preferably

[Anonymous No.19294193]

>>19293132
Proposition 65 is what happens when California lawmakers try to play scientist. Even hospital equipment has those exact warning labels.

[Anonymous No.19294203]

>>19294132
That's not terribly weird. Mayonnaise in its simplest form is made of eggs, oil/fat, and vinegar. Those three separate things are very common ingredients used in sandwiches. All you really did is consolidate it.

[Anonymous No.19294212]

>>19290537
Really goes to show that women are very easily influenced by men. It'll be difficult, but if you can convince a chad to date you, you'll be in the best shape of your life.

[Anonymous No.19294231]

>>19294132
That's not that weird. I know a chick that loves pancakes with mayonnaise, now that's fucking weird

[Anonymous No.19295096]

>>19293132
Yes, you will die. I don’t know when - it could be tomorrow or 60 years from now - but you will die eventually.

[Anonymous No.19295154]

>>19293169
Not only do I not live in California, I don't even live in the US. These P65 warnings have been a fucking nuisance. When I worked in customer service, I've actually lost sales because of the warnings. The customer could be really close to buying something, only to back out at the end because they noticed the P65 warning. I've even had customers return their purchases because they've noticed the warnings long after purchasing and bringing it home.

[Anonymous No.19295159]

>>19279512
I had sex with my teenage cheerleader cousin at a Christmas party and now I'm in love with her.

[Anonymous No.19295169]

>>19279512
when im feelin dangerous i slurp eggs raw

[Anonymous No.19295186]

>>19279516
The gayest humble brag outside of the replies

[Anonymous No.19295191]

I’m making jerky right now but I can’t stop eating it before it’s done

[Anonymous No.19295197]

>>19279567
understandable but i still prefer tomato sauce made after deglazing a lard-coated pan with cabernet

[Anonymous No.19295216]

>>19288428
Okeechobee

[Anonymous No.19296620]

>>19295191
This is why you need a chastity cage

[Anonymous No.19296643]

>>19295169
Your niece let's you do that?!

[Anonymous No.19296820]

>>19296643
I recently realized that due to our relatively small age difference (sister is a lot older than me) and low aoc in my country I could totally legally fuck my niece and it wouldn't even come off as that weird. Well aside from the blood relation thing.

[Anonymous No.19296842]

>>19280219
what a retard

[Anonymous No.19296854]

>>19292863
garlic powder has different function than raw garlic. you can and should use both where they make sense. for example in sauces and stews garlic powder tastes great. you still have the redditor approach to cooking and it stops you from appreciating good techniques that work well in specific cases

[Anonymous No.19297079]

When I want to have bits of raw fruit or veggies in a dish, like celery pieces in a salad or strawberries in yogurt, I'll often just bite off bits with my front teeth and let them drop into the bowl rather than bothering to get out a knife and dirty it.

I only do this when I'm alone, of course.

[Anonymous No.19297088]

>>19294132
Not odd at all, bread with nothing but some sweet or savory spread is totally normal. Butter, jelly, jam, olive oil, bruschetta, cream cheese, etc etc. Mayo fits right in.

[Anonymous No.19297151]

>>19280594
Damn...I can actually relate to this. I already get a kick out of people enjoying my food, but imagining a beautiful woman you're balls deep in telling you how she could taste the lemon and how it wasn't overpowering...that'd be enough to make me crack two nuts.

[Anonymous No.19298790]

>>19280594
I wish I had your drive

[Anonymous No.19299733]

I'm 25 years old and I don't know how to cook

[Anonymous No.19299905]

I normally love spicy food, but I must make the embarrassing confession that Takis are too hot for me.

[Anonymous No.19299919]

>>19299733
Never too late to learn

[Anonymous No.19299926]

>>19299905
Same, except it was Pringles Hot Ones edition. In my country, we only got the "Los Calientes Verde" flavor. There's supposed to be three different flavors, and the Verde is supposed to be the weakest. Even then, it actually burned my mouth so hard that I developed mouth ulcers after eating two cans.

[Anonymous No.19300391]

I only use powder and dehydrated vegetables for "stir frying"

[Anonymous No.19301066]

>>19283014
>she was pretty
>tranny
So either she was pretending to be a man, which is kind of gay if you fucked her, or she was a man pretending to be a woman, which is even gayer.
Either way you are gay. Congratulations

[Anonymous No.19301077]

>>19300391
how dare you

[Anonymous No.19301107]

>>19281339
try putting in some luncheon meat in it and lots of cheese

[Anonymous No.19301320]

>>19288493
WELCOME BACK FRIEND!

[Anonymous No.19301342]

If I drop food on the floor and I'm only cooking for myself I dont bother to wash it off.
I freeze marinades and reuse them 4-5 times (Im not actually sure if this is bad, but I can imagine people thinking its gross)
I have never owned a non-stick pan and have zero desire to buy one.
I owned one of these bullshit gimmick egg mc muffin makers for like 3 years and used it maybe twice

[Anonymous No.19301357]

>>19280594
This is based. If you're more focused on the meal you prepared her, you'll last longer in bed, too, so she'll love you even more. Free roastie for life. I know this from experience.

[Anonymous No.19301361]

>>19279512
I only just now started diluting my scotch.

[Anonymous No.19301393]

>>19282753
oh shit, that's actually genius. Thanks!

[Anonymous No.19301407]

>>19301342
>If I drop food on the floor and I'm only cooking for myself I dont bother to wash it off.
Everyone does the 5-second rule when no one's watching.

>I freeze marinades and reuse them 4-5 times (Im not actually sure if this is bad, but I can imagine people thinking its gross)
I've seen warning signs on poultry marinade that tell you not to reuse them, but that's about it. I mean, how unsafe can it be if you bring it to a boil & let it cool before reusing it?

That said, the only problem I could potentially see is the marinade losing flavor over time. Like, it got absorbed into the previous meat, and has less to offer for the next. I don't know how wrong that sounds, though.

>I have never owned a non-stick pan and have zero desire to buy one.
Not a controversial opinion at all. They are more trouble than they're worth. They do work if you actually follow all the instructions, but the food just tastes like shit. Just use a regular pan & some oil for tastier and faster results.

>I owned one of these bullshit gimmick egg mc muffin makers for like 3 years and used it maybe twice
Those things always sounded like shit to me. I've always felt I could do it tastier or faster by using traditional kitchen equipment.