/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.19200056]

What do you think is the best way to prepare human meat? I imagine you'd need to go low and slow kind of like pork shoulder.

[Anonymous No.19200060]

Why is Haiti so savage but Dominican so relatively nice

[Anonymous No.19200061]

you only eat human butts and only if they're less than 10 years old. don't eat decade old meat, ever

[Anonymous No.19200062]

cutting your enemy's still-beating heart from their chest and taking a bite from it like an apple to gain their strength

[Anonymous No.19200066]

>>19200056
osso buco

[Anonymous No.19200069]

>>19200056
the gram?

[Anonymous No.19200109]

>>19200060
>france maid haiti
>spain made dominican republic
there are a few more details, but thats the gist of it

[Anonymous No.19200115]

>>19200069
They're cannibalizing people in front of their grandmas.

[Anonymous No.19200118]

>>19200069
the grammies. i believe it's a music award show.

[Anonymous No.19200119]

>>19200056
This cant be. I was assured by late night funnyman that Haiti is a wonderful place and not a quote "shithole"

[Anonymous No.19200128]

>>19200069
Dumb burgerbrain, you fat fucks don't even know the basic unit of weight measurement in the metric system, probably because you measure weight by whether or not 2 of you could use a lift simultaneously.

[Anonymous No.19200147]

>>19200069
For instagram likes

[Anonymous No.19200179]

>>19200128
Then it should be by the gram not for the gram. We know what grams are.

The sentence doesn't make sense. No one in such a dire situation as to resort to cannibalism is going to measure out grams of meat, they'll just hack pieces off with a machete or cleaver or something. Maybe you'd measure it if you were to sell the meat but this tweet doesn't mention selling.

[Anonymous No.19200182]

>>19200060
N

[Anonymous No.19200187]

>>19200056
Wtf I thought Haiti wasn’t a shithole CNN and Conan O’Brien said so!!!

[Anonymous No.19200188]

>>19200179
i agree with the septic, when i read it i thought they where buying human meat with grams of drugs like the "the gram" was some pseudonym

[Anonymous No.19200196]

the same way you prepare every meat. heat olive oil in a pan, put a bunch of salt and pepper on the meat and then put it in the pan, throw some butter in there and just flip it around til it seems cooked

[Anonymous No.19200201]

For me, it's sous vide tittymeat.

[Anonymous No.19200205]

>>19200182
Both countries have them the question still stands

[Anonymous No.19200209]

>>19200205
>Both countries have them
they forced themselves in but originated from haiti

[Anonymous No.19200225]

>>19200056
but muh difference in culture

[Anonymous No.19200232]

>>19200060
Haiti killed all the whites and France basically slapped them with a massive bill for their rebellion which reverberated through several centuries. Dominican Republic kept their European influence and in return had much more stability, infrastructure, agricultural know-how, and didn't have a crippling debt and stigma of a massive white killing chimpout which allowed for actual commerce and trade.

[Anonymous No.19200238]

>>19200232
Sounds like Aruba. God that Dutch Pancake House on the island is so good. I wonder if it's still there it's been 10 years.

[Anonymous No.19200249]

>>19200056
If the human is wiry and low in body fat like a lot of male Haitian workers I've seen, the meat is probably tough and would benefit from braising.

If they're higher in body fat, a lot of fat will drain out during cooking. You'll have to pay attention to butchering and remove excess fat and silverskin using a very sharp knife. Roasting would probably be a good idea, but you need to keep an eye on it and remove the fat from time to time with a big spoon or turkey baster. That said, in a starvation situation, the raw fat and brain may be quite appealing.

[Anonymous No.19200264]

>>19200060
Look at a picture of their border for a hearty kek

[Anonymous No.19200274]

>>19200264
Jej

[Anonymous No.19200279]

>>19200264
Based Bobby Trujillo pulling the good old parsley shibboleth for Haitians trying to border hop.

[Anonymous No.19200302]

>>19200060
I mean DR is better but it can be unsafe in a lot of areas too

[Anonymous No.19200327]

>>19200274
Why doesn't someone try to reforest Haiti? I mean, Africa is building a green wall so Haiti should be able to do it. You could send Mormons or something to help, they like sending their kids on mission trips. You could focus on planting a mix of native plants and also plants that produce edible fruit.

[Anonymous No.19200337]

>>19200327
They would immediately be cut back down to make a quick buck from the charcoal. The people there are savages with no self control.

[Anonymous No.19200341]

>>19200060
>Dominican so relatively nice
'avin' a giggle, m8?

[Anonymous No.19200343]

>>19200341
Believe me I know that "relatively" is doing the heavy lifting in that sentence anon.

[Anonymous No.19200349]

>>19200327
>Then it should be by the gram not for the gram
haitians practice voodoo.
it is evil.
they are getting their just desserts.

[Anonymous No.19200355]

>>19200337
>>19200327
I have it saved somewhere, about those "improve africa" things. A guy writes about how helpless africans are. They get shown how to grow, rotate crops, get a bigger bounty, their fruit and stuff can be sold for a bigger profit, and the africans love it. The helpers leave, and they go right back to their old ways because it's easier.

[Anonymous No.19200363]

Do it like a pot roast. Carrots, potatoes, meat, in crockpot

[Anonymous No.19200381]

>>19200355
So why not guard the trees and Mormons with Haitians with AK47s and then pay them more than they'd make from charcoal. Then send a steady stream of replacement Mormons until the place is nice enough that the Haitians would rather not shit it all up, so they're not just left alone to destroy things?

I think I've read that before. One of the problems is that they can't fix things. You can set up a water treatment plant for example but when it breaks they have no way to source replacement parts. So you have to plan a supply chain and a way to communicate and not just abandon them.

[Anonymous No.19200382]

>>19200355
I know exactly what you're referencing, the Africans refused to spend money on fertilizer and instead bought stuff to show off, gave the rest of the money to friends and family and tribe leaders, and the yield the following year was back down to pre missionary levels and everyone was still dirt poor and blamed the white people for the bad crop season

[Anonymous No.19200391]

>>19200382
>give me plow and harvester now
>no, prove you can use the fertilizer to improve your yields first and then reinvest the profits back into your enterprise
>fuck you I'll beg a different org for gibs
I've seen it, from the ex peace corps guy.

[Anonymous No.19200397]

Ok so i googled this and it predicted haiti cannabilism instagram pretty quickly but nothing about it showed up on google
What gives?

[Anonymous No.19200401]

>>19200381
that would be helping a people who don't want to thrive. those mormons will be more effective trying to help elsewhere that will learn and adapt, to improve.
if the people they tried and failed are fine with the minimum, that's not their responsibility. as i understand it mormons are religious and I think the phrase "god helps them who help themselves" could apply, but that could be for a different religion who didn't go into those helpless villages and try

[Anonymous No.19200403]

>>19200355
>>19200382
>>19200391

[Anonymous No.19200440]

>>19200397
I would imagine instagram deletes that stuff right away I also would imagine they wouldn't name it literally cannibalism. What do they speak? French? Search French terms maybe you will have better luck

[Anonymous No.19200464]

>>19200440
I was looking more for like news or tweets about it .. i dont really want to see it

[Anonymous No.19200484]

>>19200464
That’s racist anon

[Anonymous No.19200496]

>>19200464
Son I have been watching terrorist beheading videos on the internet since 2002. That shit gives you character and redpills you to how shit the world is. You would be better off seeing it.

[Anonymous No.19200503]

>>19200464
long pig recipes
UMA delecticia

[Anonymous No.19200514]

>>19200484
And not funny.
https://youtu.be/-h-EDVN8gOA?t=21

[Anonymous No.19200519]

>>19200496
it really just lowers your quality of life. if I go back and be blissfully ignorant my entire life I'd do it in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous No.19200534]

>>19200496
I remember seeing that Daniel Pearl beheading video back in middle school. Good times.

[Anonymous No.19200537]

>>19200519
being desensitiesed to gory shit isnt that bad, i rememeber when SAW came out and i refused to sleep at a freinds because i hated gore but now i can see anything and feel nothing
the worst part is the politics. yeah you can switch a video off, but you cant stop a war by pressing X.

[Anonymous No.19200540]

>>19200534
I showed that video to everyone at my job including this literal mentally handicapped retard we were forced to take in who moved heavy boxes for us and he had a meltdown after watching it and never came back.

[Anonymous No.19200546]

>>19200519
>>19200537
i get what he means. i accidentally remember bullshit i watched that will have no bearing on my life beyond being on /b/ back then. a mouse having his penis snipped with scissors and the immediate torturus reaction. it's under 3mb in a .gif but it will stay with me for life
it was just posted at random, couldn't say the thread topic

[Anonymous No.19200664]

>>19200341
Can you guess which side is Haiti and which side is Dominican Republic? It's no secret most people in the Caribbean believe Haiti is literally and unironically cursed ground tainted by the voodoo rituals they performed before revolting.

[Anonymous No.19200678]

>>19200664
i almost believe it looking at that picture

[Anonymous No.19200679]

>>19200519
You're right anon. Nothing good comes from watching gore videos, the media you consume has a real impact on your mental health

[Anonymous No.19200699]

>>19200056
Not trusting anybody tasteless enough to put "Dr." in his Twitter name of all things.

[Anonymous No.19200733]

>>19200056
We're not that different.

[Anonymous No.19200741]

>>19200381
Why not Apartheid?

[Anonymous No.19200873]

>>19200664
How do they even keep the other side from being cut down? I dont see any border fence or anything.

[Anonymous No.19200893]

>>19200873
>>19200279

[Anonymous No.19200904]

>>19200341
not him, but I'm from DR, it's very safe as long as you know spanish

[Anonymous No.19200907]

>>19200401
>>19200381
Why do you think sending a bunch of 18 year olds will fix anything?

[Anonymous No.19200962]

>>19200401
>but that could be for a different religion

Aesops fables actually

[Anonymous No.19201498]

>>19200056
Most people have diseases. I don't want to get herpes from thot rump roast or aids from nigger soup.
I would be very, very choosy about who I would be eating. Probably end up stewing or slow roasting most or it, although I would like to try the heart barbecued like a beef heart.

[Anonymous No.19201792]

>>19200060
>Why is Haiti so savage but Dominican so relatively nice

[Anonymous No.19201825]

>>19200397
Just let the 4channer retards believe every fucking twitter screenshot they see. Think of them as rightoid tumblerites and it'll all make sense.

[Anonymous No.19201962]

>>19201825
I guess i found it curious that the predicitve text guessed it right away while the actual search yielded absolutely nothing
But im a technology inept boomer at this point it probably doesnt work how i think it works anymore

[Anonymous No.19201969]

Stop being racist /pol/

[Anonymous No.19201976]

Well, if we're being honest, roasted (given the texture of how it's described by cannibals) really, you shouldn't eat any parts except for the meat on the rib cage, the calves and the hips, and you can use a nice ginger sauce to pour over top, to give a nice contrast in the flavor.

[Anonymous No.19201984]

>>19201962
A bunch of people saw that screenshot and typed that text into google, now it's considered viral/relevant and will "boost it" so it'll suggest it for you.