Bad Food Stories

[Anonymous No.19192296]

Whats the worst thing someones cooked for you?

[Anonymous No.19192305]

>>19192296
boiled plantains
cold, unseasoned, boiled green plantains in a tupperware container

[Anonymous No.19192308]

When I was in college I ordered orange chicken from a local takeout place and it was flavored with orange gumdrops.

[Anonymous No.19192311]

one time someone cooked for me a bad thing.
worse than any other!

[Anonymous No.19192317]

Mostly everything he made was bad but I liked it because love.

[Anonymous No.19192318]

>>19192296
Not related to the actual thread but
>Dad buys ham and cheese savory swiss rolls with eggs and mayo
>Serves them
>Try a bit
>Disgustingly salty
>Sea water salty
>I can't fucking eat this
>Dad is chowing it down
>Tell dad there is a problem with it that they must have accidentally the salt
>Dad gets mad
>Tries to make me eat it
>It's just regular food what's wrong with you?
Five years later he has to take blood pressure medication otherwise he is at risk of a stroke

[Anonymous No.19192321]

>>19192296
My MIL's spaghetti. Fucking awful. She adds a cup or so of vegetable oil to the noodles, then another one to the overcooked ground beef. Tossesthe meat slick mess in a jar of Ragu.
You're shitting in 15 minutes. She thinks it's good.

[Anonymous No.19192325]

>>19192296
i like week old pizza that i heat up in a pan

[Anonymous No.19192346]

>>19192296
potato salad that was made with twice as much mayo as usual

[Anonymous No.19192359]

>>19192325
must suck being poor bro

[Anonymous No.19192362]

>>19192346
That wasn't mayo my man.

[Anonymous No.19192404]

>>19192321
>MIL
mail in lover?

[Anonymous No.19192408]

>>19192296
>Be child
>Mum taking us for a beach vacation
>Rented a house with a couple of family friends who are also bringing their children
>Night 1 mum cooks, all good as usual
>Night 2 one of the other mums cook
>Chicken and gravy and spaghetti bolognese
>Chicken was store bought so it's fine
>But the gravy was instant gravy, mixed so thick that the spoon is standing up in the pot
>"Bolognese" is just tinned tomato puree with sliced bacon heated in a pot
>Stick to the plain chicken all night
I wasn't a picky eater as a kid but come on, even at that age I knew how to brown beef and onions in a pan. Or how to follow the fucking instructions on a gravy packet.

[Anonymous No.19192569]

>>19192359
>he doesn’t know

[Anonymous No.19192607]

>>19192359
must suck having dick in your mouth 2 times a day

[Anonymous No.19193151]

>>19192296
My mom used to make something that me and my sister called "mush". Ground beef which was cooked in a crowded pan on low heat until it was grey, add frozen vegetables, continue to cook until the veggies have no texture at all, then serve completely underseasoned. Mush really was the best name for it.

[Anonymous No.19193157]

>>19192404
You have to be 18 to poast here, kid.

[Anonymous No.19193178]

>>19192404
Mother In-Law

[Anonymous No.19193253]

[Anonymous No.19193419]

anything my friends from oklahoma make. so rich and completely flavorless at once. it always looks so good and then you eat it and you're floored by how it can be so gooey or crispy and taste like absolutely nothing.

i thought hicks were supposed to know how to make mac & cheese.

[Anonymous No.19193589]

>>19192305
Sucks to have Venezuelan bf.

[Anonymous No.19193594]

>>19192308
That's truly wtf

[Anonymous No.19193600]

Ex wife put shitloads of sugar in spaghetti - vile

[Anonymous No.19193602]

>>19192296
anybody just eat a plate of minimally seasoned ground beef?

also my mom used to cook us microwaved porkchops (or perhaps she defrosted them too long and rolled with it) so I thought I hated pork forever until my mid 20's when I got my own place and tried cooking for myself

[Anonymous No.19193705]

>>19192321
>Tossesthe meat slick mess in a jar of Ragu.
What?

[Anonymous No.19193887]

>>19192296
My father's cooking was a source of many such examples. Typical 'British' style (boiled everything, no butter or olive oil, no salt, no spices). And yes I know there is some good British food but he managed to exemplify the worst of it. I think the dish he made which I hated the most was 'Lancashire Hotpot'. I still gag just thinking about it. He would take raw lamb chops and layer them with raw onions and potato in a dish, and pour a bunch of water over it. Yes, that was it. Then bake in the oven. It was fucking disgusting.

[Anonymous No.19193889]

>>19193157
Shut the fuck up you loser dipshit.

[Anonymous No.19193917]

My mom sucks complete ass at cooking/baking. she is a very nice person but didn’t follow recipes at all. Here’s some of my highlights:

>left a fork inside of a cake and baked it.
>cooked steak with water in a baking sheet in a toaster oven. Was like a hockey puck
>potato salad where the potatoes couldn’t be pierced at all with a fork
>cooked ribs in 45 minutes. Can’t even describe how mad this made me
>tuna fish sandwhiches with more mayo than tuna
>replaced cilantro with parsley

[Anonymous No.19194222]

I cook for myself all the time, but here's something recent that was disappointing
>vising friend one evening
>his wife is making dinner
>see some subscription ingredient box they're using
>oh no
>making tacos & rice
>flavorless unseasoned beef
>no other toppings for tacos other than pre-shredded cheddar cheese
>unseasoned white rice as side
I shouldn't complain about the quality of my friends free food, but it made me appreciate my cooking more. I just haven't had such an unappetizing meal in a long long time.

[Anonymous No.19194438]

>>19192318
Too much NaCl.

[Anonymous No.19194457]

>>19192296
worst? not sure
memorable?
cookies made with old rancid vegetable oil
wanted to cut my tongue off just to get the taste out of my mouth

[Anonymous No.19194463]

>>19192321
Marie?

[Anonymous No.19194473]

>>19192408
Man up.

[Anonymous No.19194531]

>>19192296
I’m sure I’ve had worse, but the worst that sticks in my memory is a “meal” served at my childhood friends house;
>kraft mac n cheese
>shredded carrots
>frozen peas
>tuna
All in one pot. I was ~10 and I tried to say I wasn’t hungry, but I didn’t want to be rude so I ate the food and threw up within 15 minutes.
I had many bad meals at friends house growing up, some of my best friends (brothers) dad was god awful at grilling, everything was over done and he would get upset if you added sauce to it.

[Anonymous No.19194534]

>start hanging out with big titty jewess
>she invites me over for dinner
>shes doing weight watchers so she eats all sorts of fucked up shit
>she says shes making healthy fried chicken
>oh god no
>awful strips of chicken breast from walmart rolled in oatmeal and then baked
>sprinkle of pepper for flavor
>shitty enough but she overcooked them so they end up like leather
>have to drench them in sauce to make them edible
>pretend to like them so i she'll let me tit fuck her
>she lets me so it was worth it i guess
>end up dating her for like 5 years, almost marry her
>her cooking never gets better, dodged a fucking bullet

[Anonymous No.19194553]

>>19194531
That mac and cheese isn't such a big deal. You were a little pansy.

[Anonymous No.19194682]

>>19194534
>5 year relationship
I'm more interested in that? What where her other qualities besides big tits and awful cooking? Why did you break up?

[Anonymous No.19195059]

>telling me about my lived experience
kys

[Anonymous No.19195066]

>>19194553
>telling me about my lived experience
kys
my parents are very good cooks and I didn’t grow up eating that slop so it fucked my stomach up

[Anonymous No.19195072]

>>19195059
fag

[Anonymous No.19195077]

>>19195072
sorry you were poor and think that “meal” isn’t horrific

[Anonymous No.19195082]

>>19195077
Stop telling me about my lived experience of you being a faggot

[Anonymous No.19195083]

>>19192318
>>Dad buys ham and cheese savory swiss rolls with eggs and mayo
where the fuck are you from where they serve this

[Anonymous No.19195105]

>>19194553
Tuna mac is the most horrid mutt slop on the planet, shut up

[Anonymous No.19195125]

>>19192321
Theres the retards who pour out the grease, and then theres this retard pouring in extra sneed god damn

[Anonymous No.19195153]

my grandmother made utterly disgusting pot roasts for easter every year and I thanked christ when we didn't have to go to them anymore. tasteless, overcooked, and dry as a desert.
runner up would be poorly cooked venison. I used to hate venison because my father overcooked it like shoe leather, and this was before the internet was huge so none of us knew to correct him. since then I love the stuff.
>>19193887
I'm guessing he came of age during the rationing or immediately post-years. either that or from a poor background, like I know for that hotpot you usually use stock as opposed to just plain water.
>>19194553
tuna with mac and cheese is fucking disgusting and I say that as someone who otherwise loves tuna.

[Anonymous No.19195157]

>>19195077
>>19195082
Just kiss already

[Anonymous No.19195168]

>>19195083
sounds patently scandinavian. also like something i would eat

[Anonymous No.19195169]

>>19194534
Just to let you know, any time someone implies that they had sex in their post I instantly stop reading and move onto the next. I have no respect for the opinions of unvirgins, so if you want me to read your post, you'd better leave that stuff out. So yeah, didn't read.

[Anonymous No.19195207]

>>19192296
I've already told this story here, but it boggles me to this day.
Was served a chicken burger with a raw frozen patty at McD. I've driven too far away from it when I found out, so it was pointless to come back, they'd probably say that I swapped the patties and can go fuck myself anyway. It wasn't that late, place was almost empty, it was the only thing I've ordered, how the fuck do you forget to cook the patty?

[Anonymous No.19195617]

>>19195153
Yeah, Dad was born during WW2, so it's true he came of age during the rationing period, albeit from a comfortable middle-class background. But I think the main reason why his cooking was always so terrible was that he was a 'wine appreciator' (aka. drunkard in denial), so he focused his attention mostly on getting drunk, and food was simply an inconvenience.

One other memorable dish comes to mind: 'Cowboy Casserole' - Tinned baked beans + chunks of pork (fillet of course, no fat because he was terrified of gaining weight), thrown into a pot and baked in the oven. That's it. No other flavourings.

I hated his food and he thought it was great, in his typically self-absorbed and stupid way. On the plus side nobody ever got fat in that household.

[Anonymous No.19195628]

>>19195157

[Anonymous No.19195665]

My mother is a terrible cook. Thin, dry, overcooked pork chops with ketchup. Steaks and burgers were the same, everything well-done.

[Anonymous No.19195704]

>>19195169
based virgin appreciator keeping /ck/ pure

[Anonymous No.19195747]

>be 8
>pack my own school unches
>complain that my friends' moms pack their lunches for them
>she says "fine"
>makes a crunchy natural peanut butter & mint jelly sandwich on 12-grain bread and an apple
and i never asked again

[Anonymous No.19196221]

>>19194682

She had typical female jew qualities (neurotic, insecure, hyper-emotional etc.), but was very, very devoted and loving to me. She was also very successful in her career and hard working, and was pretty fun (when she wasn't being a psycho jew)

I slowly started to realize that I just wasn't ready to settle down with her, or anyone else yet, but I kept up the front for years that things were hunky dory. It was awful of me and as crazy as she was I still feel terrible about it.

I should've ended things the second I felt that way but I kept telling her (and myself) that we were going to end up together and have the Disney life she dreamed about, all while knowing deep down how miserable I was.

Her mom is/was a shit cook too.

[Anonymous No.19196425]

Tupperware Bihon.
The texture, smell, and taste is disgusting.

[Anonymous No.19197026]

>>19192308
I straight up don't believe you for your own sake. Name city for my own erudition.

[Anonymous No.19197057]

>>19197026
Knoxville on the strip, it had some generic Chinese restaurant name. This was in 2007 or so. It was not House of Dragon, that place is amazing.

[Anonymous No.19197158]

>friend gets deep into meme diets cause a girl on tinder called him doughy
>mindbroke him
>does keto, paleo, carnivore, cuts out all dairy, refuses to eat anything that isn't scheduled for the day, refuses caffeine, alcohol
>one day I go over to his place, at this point I'm worried about his mental health let alone his physical
>he says he's too tired to cook
>"No problem dude, I'll make you something"
>meekly says ok, tells me there's some meat in the fridge
>cool cool, looks kinda weird
>"What kinda meat is this?"
>oh it's fresh don't worry about it. it's like lamb or something
>nigga doesn't even know what meat he's got anymore, sheesh
>brought over some asparagus, kerrygold, some red potatoes, garlic, shallot, heavy cream, chicken broth
>pan roasted "meat" in a garlic butter cream sauce with some roasted asparagus and rosemary potatoes
>it's technically against his ""diet"" but fuck it dude is flummoxed
>the meat is strange, a bit stringy; I've cooked lamb before and it's beyond me
>cut into thin strips and just kinda sizzle it like a korean bbq
>figure as long as it changes color it'll be okay to eat
>kitchen is smelling heavenly, putting on finishing touches
>friend seems chipper smelling proper cooked food
>we sit down together and he just jumps right into it
>I made myself a very small plate of mostly asparagus and potatoes, with a couple strips of the meat to taste
>it tastes... questionable
>"So, you said this was lamb right?"
>"Oh, no, it's like lamb. It's actually a dead dog I got into fresh meat diet where having meat the day it's butchered is meant to help a ton."
>y.. you killed a dog?
>"Nah dude it got hit by a car yesterday. When I saw it I couldn't let it go to waste."
>... we're eating roadkill?
>"Well I guess if you wanna get pedantic yeah we kinda are."
Dude fasts 16 hours of the day and he's still doughy cause he won't do some fucking sit ups because some influencer said
>You can't out run a bad diet!
And to him that means exercise doesnt work

[Anonymous No.19197250]

>>19195066
>muh lived experience
>my parents are very good cooks
ie they catered to your childish whims. They spoiled you, in short.

[Anonymous No.19197255]

>>19192321
In some cultures, if you don't shit immediately after the meal it's an insult to the cook.

[Anonymous No.19197274]

>>19192296
I went to a pot luck where a man, Mike, brought deviled eggs. They were VILE. I don’t know what he did to them. They tasted rotten. They tasted like I’d get sick if I ate them. I mentally combed through every kind of additive he could possibly have used and for my life I could never figure out what he did. A month later there was another potluck and he brings the eggs again. Compelled by morbid curiosity I took one to try- it was equally horrible. I asked him what recipe he used and he told me it was “a family secret.” Anyway he just kept bringing those same eggs each month and eventually word got around because the plate was always consistently almost full by the end of the evening. Deviled eggs are usually one of the first foods to disappear at a gathering- not Mike’s. God they were revolting.

[Anonymous No.19197281]

>>19197255
>A popular Catalan saying for use before a meal is "Eat well, shit heartily, and don't be afraid of death!"
And they wonder why their independence movement failed. ("Movement"... heh...)

[Anonymous No.19197302]

>>19193602
>>19192296
Paid shills should be flayed alive, then raped, then set on fire.
Buy a fucking ad

[Anonymous No.19197319]

>>19197255
I'm Muslim, if my guests don't immediately do noisy diarrhea after a meal I call the religious police

[Anonymous No.19197346]

>>19197158
dis nigga be eating road kill

[Anonymous No.19197602]

>>19197158
Not gonna lie I'd probably beat the shit out of someone if they tricked me into eating dead roadkill dog.

[Anonymous No.19197627]

We stayed with my wife's aunt briefly while backpacking, and she cooked dinner the first night. She told us we'd be having salmon curry.
I grew up on the coast eating fish all the time, so after the garbage we'd been eating in hostels and cheap restuarants this sounded awesome.

>Puts an entire jar of generic store-bought curry sauce in a pot and heats it
>no other ingredients at all
>Slice of salmon cooked in a dry pan that was clearly too hot
>This destroyed slice of fish is then put in a bowl and topped off with heated curry sauce until covered

I'll eat anything that anyone cooks for me, but fuck me I had the fight the urge to not gag on this shit.

[Anonymous No.19197636]

I wonder if anything I’ve ever made is someone’s story now

[Anonymous No.19197641]

>>19192317
I was lying.

[Anonymous No.19197669]

>>19194463
Sodium content

[Anonymous No.19197912]

I hate to say it but my mom isn't that good at cooking. Practically no flavour and she often makes "healthy" versions of foods/pastries where the benefit would be negligible anyways (pies with "healthy" crusts, using some gluten free high fiber pasta for greasy as fuck pasta dishes etc.).

[Anonymous No.19198104]

>>19193889
He was right though, kid

[Anonymous No.19198137]

>>19192305
kek I remember you

I’d say the worst thing is unseasoned boiled to a mush brussel sprouts. Pretty tame as far as bad food goes but literally the worst way to prepare brussel sprouts

[Anonymous No.19199078]

>>19193602
I thought I hated scrambled eggs until I was maybe 14 and I had some that a friend made. turns out it was just my mom's way of overcooking them to the point of burning them that made them super dry and unpleasant

[Anonymous No.19199458]

>>19193602
Is that Gibby at the table

[Anonymous No.19199544]

>>19192296
my dad sometimes makes "soup" with huge blocks of vegetables and a watery broth then doesn't bother blending it.
other than that, my grandma would just bake bacon in the oven until as dry as a mummy's foreskin.

[Anonymous No.19199560]

>>19197912
i hate that shit
why ruin one of the ingredients just for that 0.1% more healthy alternative

[Anonymous No.19199568]

>>19192296
First thing that came to mind was a big bowl of peas my dad made me completely eat for some stupid reason when I was pretty young and they tasted like fucking shit. I sat there for like an hour staring at it and he wouldn’t let me leave.

Peas and green beans are dogshit and belong in medley’s not by themselves.

[Anonymous No.19199573]

>>19193602
Watching these grown adults all struggle to boil water is truly shocking, even if they are autists

[Anonymous No.19200915]

>>19192296
Raclette with raw carrots, potatoes and broccoli
Cheese was a vegan substitute

[Anonymous No.19201069]

>>19197274
Lol I know who you are talking about

[Anonymous No.19201483]

>>19192321
>She adds a cup or so of vegetable oil to the noodles
i fucking hate this shit
>its so it doesnt stick
just end my life.
i took over cooking pasta because i couldnt take this shit anymore.

[Anonymous No.19201485]

>>19197255
good i hope the cook feels so insulted they kill themselves
its the only honorable thing to do.

[Anonymous No.19201491]

>>19194222
>pre-shredded cheddar cheese
thats the only sin here.
how fucking lazy are you that you cant grate you own fucking cheese
also they add some fucking coating to pre shredded cheese thats just ruins the flavor of the cheese, its like eating nothing at all.
also you can get unseasoned white rice as a side in asian restaurants
and i really dont know how people fuck up cooking mince meat, especially when you have like flavor packets or recipes and shit.
they probably drained off the liquid or cooked it too high or didnt break up the meat well enough.
fucking amature shit.

[Anonymous No.19201494]

>>19197158
cant believe i fucking wasted my time reading a fake story again
fuck you.

[Anonymous No.19201658]

>>19197912
>and she often makes "healthy" versions of foods/pastries where the benefit would be negligible anyways (pies with "healthy" crusts, using some gluten free high fiber pasta for greasy as fuck pasta dishes etc.).
omfg my mum does this shit too.
i can't stand it
and she's an exercise nut too so she could eat just normal versions of the "healthy" food and it wouldn't be any different.
also
>no sugar, no salt, no gluten, no msg, no dairy, vegan friendly
>omg my is my food so tasteless
its actually exhausting

[Anonymous No.19201747]

>>19192321
sounds like good medicine.

[Anonymous No.19202216]

My dad found a new wife at wanted her to show off her cooking to me and my brothers, and it was some horrible fried instant noodle mess, almost black and probably burnt, surprisingly hard, can barely see there's supposed to be tiny chunks of fried egg on it, and her hair is all over it too. I was the only one out of my brothers to speak up about how disgusting it was immediately and my dad told me to leave the house, and I eventually did.

[Anonymous No.19202296]

>>19197158
Kek'd but there's no way this really happened.

[Anonymous No.19202302]

>>19197057
>Knoxville
Anon, you have cancer

[Anonymous No.19202306]

>>19193602
>anybody just eat a plate of minimally seasoned ground beef?
I did that a few times during my extremely down bad years. or just noodles with instant gravy. damn those days were not good

[Anonymous No.19202316]

>>19202216
this is a fake story
try better next time.

[Anonymous No.19202388]

>>19197302
plot twist; you are sam

[Anonymous No.19202418]

>>19194534
Formatting this story and reducing your girlfriend and almost wife of five years to a big titted jewess is either a major cope on your part or shows why the relationship was never going to work in the first place. When you phrase a story like that and don’t start with “I had a ex” it just makes you seem like a dishonest person. She must of done some fucked up shit for you to act like you didn’t spend five years of your life with this woman and to shamalan us when we are all anonymous. It’s cool dude, it was a part of your life, don’t cope it into a 5 year hookup lol.

[Anonymous No.19202450]

>>19202388
No, I'm Jet Neptune. Mr. Hyde has me working overtime because I wasted thousands of dollars out of his pocket on a real world/big brother clone that no one is watching.

[Anonymous No.19202903]

>>19192296
most of my friends are pretty good cooks
Most of my complaints are generally "not making enough"
I have a couple of funny stories about making really shitty stuff for people though:
1:
>me and four other people took acid in a blizzard
>we are tripping balls
>friend says he's FUCKING STARVING after smelling our trash can
>weird but okay
>pull out skillet, look in fridge
>literally all I have is ground beef and portabella mushrooms
>slice portabella caps longways into strips and cook them together with the beef with a bunch of salt, garlic powder, pepper, and paprika
>actually pretty good
>as friend is eating it, another friend who is halfway through goes
>"dude this looks like slugs and dog food"
>other friend starts retching like I just fed him his dad's penis
>we all laugh
2:
>wife and I lifting weights pretty regularly
>she wants something good but high protein that she can eat afterwards without cooking
>wife loves my cornbread
>get the idea to just put unflavored whey protein powder in cornbread with some cheese and sour cream
>it all mixes together and doesn't look too weird
>cook it
>feels strange when I cut it
>take a bite
>immediately vomit into the sink
>didn't take into account that the protein powder would crosslink or some shit and then set like gelatin
>basically it turned into a gritty rubbery cornmeal-flavored aspic kind of shit
>literally the most repulsive texture possible

[Anonymous No.19202918]

my mum made this fish pie using prawns and salmon and it was fucking disgusting

i still have some in my fridge. it's horrendous.

[Anonymous No.19202931]

>>19192296
one time my bf tried to make a healthy dinner replacing lettuce for tortillas but he soaked and shaked them instead of drying them completely. just seeing the plate still having water from the lettuce ruined my experience and my appetite

[Anonymous No.19202945]

>>19197627
my wife's family are the whitest possible fucking eastern europeans, the kind of rootless americans that must constantly say gołąbki like "GOOL-WUMPKEY" lest they forget that six generations back someone was a slovak
every time they make it, it's fucking disgusting and I can't bring myself to say anything
>unseasoned beef
>dry rice
>canned tomato sauce, unseasoned
>raw cabbage, blanched
>cook that shit all together in the same covered pot so it ends up a slimy cabbage burrito covered in beef fat, complete with watery sauce because the cabbage leaked all of its moisture into the pot
>somehow more tasteless than any individual component of the dish
My wife got a recipe for white borscht from her grandmother or something that everyone ranted and raved about:
>flour and water with some salt left to naturally ferment
>after day three I was insanely skeptical because it smelled like fucking acetone which meant the wrong bacteria were there
>she just tosses it in a pot and boils cabbage and ground pork in it
>this was literally following the recipe
>she was left with essentially flavorless flour slurry that smelled like nail polish remover and tasted like what I imagine the white shit that grows in your freezer tastes like
>got violently ill afterwards
The worst part is I made a delicious щи and my wife was just like "why is there so much cabbage and sauerkraut in this?"
I'm starting to think that any polaks or eastern europeans not from chicago are tasteless buffoons that love eating garbage. There's only so many more times that I can eat boiled kielbasa and salted cabbage before snapping and killing myself

[Anonymous No.19202983]

>>19196221
Did she have a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma, and did she squeak when she cum?

[Anonymous No.19203034]

>>19192296
Had a britbong Sunday dinner. Meat baked in an oven, potatoes covered in grease and baked in an oven, pancake batter...Baked in an oven. Veggies stewed. Literally inedible animal fodder.

[Anonymous No.19203059]

>>19193589
Lol yeah that sounds like someone really lazy or really poor would cook here, and instead of a Tupperware it'd be an empty margarine plastic container

[Anonymous No.19203133]

>>19192296
Mom made me a whole orange chicken so foul that I actually didn't eat for half-week(she believed in the starve them out approach to food).
She's still seething over it and thinks I just don't like chicken because she's at best a former hamburger flipper

[Anonymous No.19203140]

>>19203133
Oh and I forgot that recently she made me a prison loaf tier meal where she just dumped carrots, white beans in tomato sauce, ground meat (non-fried so it had that iconic dusty taste), peas and overcooked pasta which she left in the sauce.
It was bad, but not as bad as that orange chicken.

[Anonymous No.19203143]

>>19192308
what the fuckkkk

[Anonymous No.19203163]

>>19192359
if he's keeping a pizza for a week he's got more nourishment than he can handle. not poor.

[Anonymous No.19203187]

>>19202418
yea and you just wrote must of instead of must have. you're advice must be shit.

[Anonymous No.19203280]

>>19197158
Most unbelievable thing in this story is your autistic cooking

[Anonymous No.19203338]

>>19195105
Could you possibly squeeze a few more buzzwords in there? Macaroni salad probably makes your pussy little tummy sore.

[Anonymous No.19203398]

>>19192311
same!

[Anonymous No.19203915]

>>19192296
My mom convinced me to go to a local restaurant because she said it was "the best place she had ever eaten"
She has been to plenty of high end restaurants but doesn't have any sense of class or taste when it comes to food, she will just shovel it in.
The amazing dinner she had was some shitty frozen hamburger patties with brown gravy, like something you get out of a TV dinner.
I ordered fried oysters... they were canned smoked oysters that were then fried.
Most disgusting thing I ever had at a restaurant.

[Anonymous No.19203983]

Moms family recipe of gross too sugary snacks my friend made called hello dollies hate those things

[Anonymous No.19204029]

>>19202450
If you think he put up his own money for this you don't understand the Sam Hyde grindset.

[Anonymous No.19204161]

>>19197912
unlucky
everyone on my mom's side is an amazing cook: grandad, grandma, my mom and my aunt
and so am i, but i hate cooking

[Anonymous No.19204243]

>>19202918
shame, that's a good dish. what went wrong

[Anonymous No.19204262]

>>19192296
Josie is best Jon is worst

[Anonymous No.19204346]

>>19192408
>>Mum
Britfags are not welcome

[Anonymous No.19204351]

I lived with a goofball of a guy that did some time in prison. He was a great overall cook for his lack of experience and pretty low IQ. Could do decently authentic mexican food and great barbeque just winging it, but he would always comment oh how he wanted to make some of his favorite prison commissary meals from when he did time... so when he got around to doing it I wasn't too concerned. I know the shit guys make in prison can be kinda bland/gross/dumb so i wasn't overhyped but given that he seemed to have a really good intuitive grasp on the fundamentals of cooking I wasn't worried.

He proceded to make this... thick substance... make of crushed ramen, ramen packets, doritos, ripped up hotdogs, and other random shit I cant recall. It was insanely salty, unsettling texturally, and a visual atrocity. He was beaming with pride when he served us bowls of the stuff more than he ever did when he brought out some of his very good meals. I'm still baffled by the whole situation. He was a really great guy so I forced myself to finish the bowl of it mechanically but what the fuck.

[Anonymous No.19204538]

Guy made smoked wings. He brined them for too long in way too much salt, and then they were overcooked. The skin was like leather or rubber, you couldn’t even chew it. The meat was far too salty.

[Anonymous No.19204837]

>>19202945
I'm a pole and reading this was tough. My sympathies.
Chicago poles are probably more legit because they are "fresher" off the boat. My parents had an offer to get a green card and move there 35 years ago. Decided to stay in europe though to be closer to grandma. Probably the right call considering how bad Chicago is.

[Anonymous No.19205531]

>>19202983
Get back in your hole, Frank. I only go for catholic girls with tiny little mustaches.

[Anonymous No.19205546]

>>19192296
Nothing comes to mind but i remember as a kid seeing my dad put cold leftover spaghetti bolognese between two slices of bread. He would also put bananas on bread with sugar.

[Anonymous No.19205563]

>>19204351
pretty much the same reason why chinese people ate century eggs. after eating bland unseasoned same thing for months, any assault on the taste buds is welcomed

[Anonymous No.19205769]

>>19205546
Both of those sound like something I'd eat quite happily.

[Anonymous No.19205777]

>>19205769
Based boomer in spirit. What always seemed odd to me is that people that make these disgusting food combinations are never fat.

[Anonymous No.19205842]

>>19193889
Now this is a concession and a half

[Anonymous No.19205943]

>>19205777
The pickiest eaters in my life are all fat

[Anonymous No.19206103]

>>19205546
>He would also put bananas on bread with sugar.
I eat bananas on white bread with mayonnaise quite often,

[Anonymous No.19206199]

>>19204243
nothing really went wrong and mum's cooking is top notch but i'm not a fan of fish in a creamy sauce. anyone else might have liked it and she certainly did but i nearly vomited on mum's fancy table cloth.

she says' 'hi'.

[Anonymous No.19206566]

>>19192296
My dad
Fried chicken
>boiled the chicken
>lathered the chicken with broken up cornflakes
He apologized a day later but that shit was awful.

[Anonymous No.19206577]

>>19206199
>she says' 'hi'.
tell her to post tits or gtfo

[Anonymous No.19206623]

>>19196221
Same with my jewess but it was 3 years. Thing that ultimately made me want out was seeing the way her mother lived, seeing how the girl would take on those affectations and habits. Mother was obese and a literal mouthbreather who sat on the recliner watching TV and scrolling facebook when she wasn't driving her younger kids around. Could not cook to save her or her children's lives. Nearly every single meal I ever ate around them was at a restaurant or delivered restaurant food. She would do a crock pot (plastic lined, mind you) meal once in a blue moon which the youngest kids would inevitably complain about and demand takeout (weird parenting dynamic of being strict on some things but total pushovers on others) and ultimately wasn't raising healthy kids, just kids that could get through the conventional hoops in life.

The girlfriend was in great shape, great body, conventionally beautiful and intelligent, great career trajectory. But I wasn't happy and didn't want to marry someone whose future was predetermined.

[Anonymous No.19206650]

>>19206566
lmfao, picturing that next day apology is crackin me up

[Anonymous No.19207562]

>>19192311
checked

[Anonymous No.19207589]

>>19206650
“Listen son, I’m sorry about last night. I just want you to know that I’m a degenerate retard and can’t properly provide for my offspring. Tough luck, kiddo, good luck.”

[Anonymous No.19207611]

My mom attempted to make biscuits from scratch and thought "all-purpose" meant there was yeast already in the flour. They came out of the oven like stones. But we have a good relationship so we joked about it and threw them away. I'm the far more active baker than she anyway.

[Anonymous No.19208945]

>>19205943
Very true
>>19206103
>Banana mayo sandwiches
Are you George Floyd's brother?

[Anonymous No.19210053]

>>19192296
My best friend invited me over for his birthday. Planned meal was spaghetti. His dad makes a special homemade spaghetti sauce. Was literally watered down ketchup with Italian spice mix.

[Anonymous No.19210141]

>what if we did Big Brother but Sam Hyde?
Yeah I'm good thanks

[Anonymous No.19210326]

>>19194531
Barf!
>>19194553
You're a gross adult.

[Anonymous No.19210361]

The worst food is just low-fat on a budget. So, plain carbs cooked in depressing ways by White people.

[Anonymous No.19210424]

My wife and I stayed with my aunt for a couple days on a visit to DC, she made us breakfast one morning.
>can smell eggs and coffee when we wake up, get dressed and head down
>my aunt is so happy we’re there, she insisted on cooking breakfast for us, rather than letting my uncle do it (he’s an excellent cook)
>hi guys! I’m making french toast!
>sit and drink coffee for a while, eventually she brings out what is just sliced sourdough with scrambled eggs clinging to it
>somehow very soggy
>no cinnamon, no vanilla, no nothing
>put some syrup on it and choke it down
>she’s beaming the whole time, only has her usual protein bar and coffee for breakfast
It was pretty bad, but I appreciate the gesture. She cooked for us out of love and just isn’t good at it, so she gets points in my book.

[Anonymous No.19210449]

Mother in law cooked salmon once, way overcooked but perfectly edible. Next day she decides to make a salad out of the leftovers and instead of just using the fish like it is she throws it on a pan and nukes it until it's a dry unrecognizeable mess that you couldnt tell used to be salmon, "just in case". She also added way too much salt when the fish was salted enough already. It was just terrible, I'm not a picky eater but got very close to throwing up while she and the whole family ate it like it was normal for them

[Anonymous No.19210494]

>>19192296
Some vegan shit.

[Anonymous No.19211517]

>>19194534
>doing weight watchers
You dated an obese whale for 5 years not a "big titty jewess" you fag.

[Anonymous No.19213175]

>>19202903
>we took acid
stopped reading
die next time druggie scum