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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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19061978 No.19061978 [Reply] [Original]

I don't mean to be arrogant, but I have perfected the art of the burger and I will now share my procedures. Many people would pay top dollar for this.
Things that don't make a difference: making your own mayo

Buy a good quality one and mix 3 parts mayo, 2 parts ketchup, 2 parts pickles (diced, almost minced) and one part mustard

>> No.19061981 [DELETED] 

Saged and hidden.

>> No.19061984
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19061984

Add these two things in un-reasonable amounts

>> No.19061987
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19061987

And walla the sauce is done. Now put it in the fridge for now

>> No.19061988

>>19061978
>2 parts pickles (diced, almost minced)
So relish?

>> No.19061991
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19061991

>>19061978
>Buy a good quality mayo
>Hellman's
>not Duke's
>>19061981
fpbp

>> No.19061993
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19061993

Make 100g meatballs (should fit in your non-manlet hand easily)

>>19061988
Potato tomato

>> No.19061999
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19061999

Now you are going to put those two balls of yours between two sheets of parchment paper and you are going to

>> No.19062002

>>19061978
So you have invented thousand island dressing, congratulations.

>> No.19062004
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19062004

>>19061999
Pretend its some fetish movie and mash those balls

>> No.19062006

>>19061978
>Things that don't make a difference: making your own mayo

sure industrial mayo tastes fine but it's more about the health aspect

>> No.19062008
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19062008

>>19062004
And its going to look like this

>>19062002
I pity the ones that don't know the difference

>> No.19062012
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19062012

>>19062008
Lets pile them up and appreciate the result

>> No.19062016

Let us take a toilet break to make space for them fries

>> No.19062024
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19062024

>>19062016

>> No.19062026
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19062026

>>19062008
I pity people that think mixing jarred store bought things to make shitty thousand island dressing is good.

>> No.19062031
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19062031

Now lets go to the store get some potatoes because we forgot to buy them earlier

>>19062026
Keep crying bitch nigga

>> No.19062033
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19062033

>>19062031

>> No.19062037
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19062037

>>19062031
And lets take a snack break while we are at it

>> No.19062039
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19062039

>>19062037
No we're going to do something a little bit different
I ain't making my own bread so we are going to spice up the normal bread with this egg and this sesame seed
Don't @ me

>> No.19062043

>>19061978
>Things that don't make a difference: making your own mayo

Fine, but if I made burger aioli it would be better than what you made.

>> No.19062045
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19062045

>>19062039
And I am going to airfry these little fuckers

>> No.19062047
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19062047

Now it's gonna be business as usual

>>19062043
Yeah yeah give me the formuoli faggot

>> No.19062050
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19062050

>>19062047
Now let this bread settle for a while and lets chop up some potatoes
I will airfry them. Yes, you can seethe and cope

>> No.19062055
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19062055

>>19062050
Lets chill them for a while in icy water
Now the important thing about the fries is that we need do two rounds of airfrying. Firsr lowest possible heat until they dry, then sizzle olive oil and some salt, then turn it all the way up

>> No.19062058
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19062058

High heat and dump the little guys in

>> No.19062063
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19062063

>>19062058

>> No.19062066
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19062066

>>19062063
Doubles because I'm not a fatfuck that needs to watch his calories like some little girl

>> No.19062071

>>19062047
>give me the formuoli?
1 egg room temperature
1 egg yolk room temperture
1 C olive oil lightly flavored
2 teaspoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon grated black truffle
½ teaspoon truffle oil
¼ teaspoon salt

>> No.19062072
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19062072

Now we assemble it. Sauce in both breads, diced onion, patties, bacon and lettuce
And walla

>> No.19062075
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19062075

And the fries
Damn the fries are nice

>> No.19062080
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19062080

>>19062072
It looks like shit.

>> No.19062083
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19062083

Enjoy the best burger in this board by far. I bet 10 bucks there's no other burger better than mine.

>> No.19062092

>>19062080
>he's still seething
Maybe suck 1000 cocks?
Captcha: b1tsh

>> No.19062115

>>19062083
Honest review...

Good job on the bun, although I don't think you ever showed how toasty the inside got. I'm going to assume it was nice and toasty.

The sauce is fine, not exactly a secret.

The bacon is middling. Like little bunches. I'm not sure how you cooked it. Looks microwaved or something. Airfried? It's not hard to cook bacon strips.

I don't really like the way you cooked the patties. Almost deep fried. I'm sure they were OK.

American cheese is the best cheese for a burger.

I dunno what's going on with that lettuce or the onions. Did you slap chop that shit? Lazy/10.

Overall I'm giving you a 7/10.

>> No.19062140

>>19062115
Thanks, I forgot to take some key pictures because as was taking them as I was cooking but I basically lazily shreded the lettuce so I'll the L for now
I wish you could taste it anon, it was unreal

>> No.19062168

Cool
Not sure why there's so many faggots in here, but I guess that's zoomer /ck/ in 2023

>> No.19062191

>>19062168
>not sure why so many faggots (any given board)
>(buzzword) (board) in (current year)
>>19061978
nice blog post anon enjoy your burg looks tasty

>> No.19062201

>>19062083
Looks completely overcooked.

>> No.19062213
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19062213

>>19062140
I wasn't expecting this level of humility and now I feel like a jerk. I'll post the last burger I made and took a photo of. I call it grandpa-style... ketchup, mustard, pickle, american cheese. Griddled in an old fashioned way. You can tear it apart if you wish.

>> No.19062249

>>19062213
Cute!
I would take this one over those huge ass burgers that people always make anytime

>> No.19062259
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19062259

>>19062201
Like your mum when I brit burgered her last night?

Here's a big mac version I made in the distant past, before coming up with the sesame cheat code

>> No.19062262

>>19062033
>>19062026
>>19062002
>>19061981
>>19061991
>>19062080
Have a burger and chill out

>> No.19062268

>>19062259
This looks like a much tighter version of what you made in thread. Very nice!

>> No.19062275

>>19062259
Burgers like this are for internet thots to post on insta. They are literally impossible to eat without dislocating your jaw.

>> No.19062279

Looks pretty good, OP

>> No.19062281

>>19061978
>3
>2
>2
>one
Learn to be consistent. 1, 2, 3 OR one, two, three, Not both.

>> No.19062282

I think each of the burgers in this thread look bretty good

>> No.19062496

Ckay is fun sometimes. Thanks OP

>> No.19062723

>>19062072
8/10
>>19062213
9/10
>>19062259
10/10

>> No.19063102

>>19062039
Where did you get those buns OP? Cant find them at any of the stores in Australia

>> No.19063137

>>19063102
you can get broiche buns at any supermarket in Australia

>> No.19063186

>>19062024
jesus christ on a pogo stick that's some thicc fur on them legs

>> No.19063289

>>19062039
Those premade burger buns are full of soy oil. "Perfected", my ass. This shit is mid at best

>> No.19063493
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19063493

What's the point of cooking if you just make the same shitty goyslop you can get from a grocerystore? Many such cases

>> No.19063506

>>19061978
Okay I've been making this sauce for my burgers for the last 29 years of my life, I call it Quinky Sauce. It's just 3 parts ketchup, 2 parts Sayosauce, and 2 parts Mustard.

Anyways tonight we had burgers, and my daughter wouldn't eat my Quinky Sauce so I punished her by making her go to her room for a time out.

My wife get's all pissed at me for doing this, If my daughter doesn't want to eat the food we make in this house, why should I be the bad guy for punishing her?

I'm gonna continue making Burgers the way people in this family eats burgers, but I think maybe I could mild down my recipe a bit, I was wondering if you guy's had any recipe's or variation on Quinky Sauce that would be suitable for a child?

>> No.19063577

>>19063289
No they arent pussyass bitch nigga
I wish you could try them. It would be like that scene in Ratatoille where you realise I'm right and cry about it

>> No.19065039

>>19062058
Why don't you have a flat cooking surface big enough for two burgers? Why mash the burgers ahead of time and waste two sheets of parchment when you can just use a spatula and do it in a pan?

>> No.19065099

>>19062066
What sort of cheese is that

>> No.19065149

>>19063506
>My wife get's all pissed at me for doing this
unnacceptable. trying using the formation 1 belt technique on her. if it happens again, use the formation 3 with a clothesline finisher.

>> No.19065666
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19065666

>>19062083
You are wrong. Mine are supremely better. Sautéed onions and mushrooms, pepper jack cheese, a sunny side up egg, and bbq sauce. Also the patties aren't sad little flattened fucks with all the flavor squished out of it. Plus mine have different spices and brown sugar to keep it interesting.

>> No.19065720

How are non Americans so utterly incapable of making a burger?

>> No.19065982

>>19065666
Boring
Keep it simple satanfag

>> No.19066012

>>19062083
Bretty good, looks like you got all the fundamentals down but I also love the simplicity of >>19062213. I'd house that bad boy in three bites

>>19065666
Awful, congrats on knowing how to throw ground beef on a grill I guess but you otherwise don't know shit about cooking burgers. Nice Wal Mart spices to go with your Wal Mart buns too

>> No.19066811

>>19065666
You made another thread for this shit? Lmao

>> No.19066867

>>19062024
>>19063186
Imagine how hairy is asshole is. Lol C-an you i-imagine?

>> No.19066904

>>19061978
Where are you that you have Del Monte ketchup? I haven’t seen that in years