/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.18962915]

This is better than normal mayonnaise in every way

[Anonymous No.18962918]

>>18962915
No it's not. Don't lie to people like that. Miracle whip is gross.

[Anonymous No.18962921]

>>18962915
sike

[Anonymous No.18962936]

is it true american recipes dont have ingredients but just mix set brands together? like
2cl miracle whip
1 cup beyond meat
1 cup Coca cola light
1 cup grannys choice flour™
1 can of Big buba tomato™ sauce
2 spoons of magical spice mix
3 cups Goldbergs seed oil

[Anonymous No.18962953]

>>18962936
That mostly happens with recipes on the box of products, where they include the product you just bought in the recipe

[Anonymous No.18962972]

>>18962953
makes sense. I guess some of these later became family recipes, because my friends american gf does everything like that

[Anonymous No.18962988]

>>18962915
How many times are you going to make this thread?

[Anonymous No.18963001]

>>18962988
until you liek it

[Anonymous No.18963011]

>>18963001
Based.

[Anonymous No.18963030]

>>18962915
Nah man, I can't make Miracle Whip at home. Eggs, oil, vinegar, salt and mustard, that's all it takes to mqke mayo.

[Anonymous No.18963035]

>>18963030
get a load of this goy. he aint got water, soybean oil, high-fructose corn syrup, vinegar, modified corn starch, eggs, salt, natural flavor, mustard flour, potassium sorbate, spice, and dried garlic ready to go.

[Anonymous No.18963041]

>>18963035
Miracle Whip also uses a special machine to make it. Mayo takes a whisk.

[Anonymous No.18963050]

>>18963041
>Mayo takes a whisk.
do you really whisk your mayo? i never did it because it seemed really labour intensive

[Anonymous No.18963059]

>>18963050
Yeah, sometimes. If I used the stick blender for something else recently or just don't want to clean it, I can make a really small batch of mayo on demand with just a whisk.

[Anonymous No.18963061]

>>18963050
You don't actually need to whisk it. I just pour egg yolks on olive oil and then insult anyone who tries to complain. Not my fault you don't know how mayonnaise works you dumb fucking prole, maybe try Denny's, that seems more your speed.

[Anonymous No.18963064]

>>18963059
ill have try it sometime then. I always wanted to do those franco iberian egg sauces and never found courace
>>18963061
can you make it with olive oil? i thought it has to be seed oil

[Anonymous No.18963071]

>>18963064
Any fat will work, but fats that solidify at higher temperatures like coconut oil will be troublesome.

[Anonymous No.18963075]

>>18963064
You can make mayonnaise with rapeseed oil if you want whoever eats it to feel violated. It really depends on your mood.

[Anonymous No.18963104]

>>18962915
No it's not you brainwashed consume ADdict.
And it's not just inferior to mayo in every way, it's also hilarious how this is an outright scam that sells you 20% air in a jar and cheap shit ingredients that manage to be cheaper than eggs and oil yet are sold at 100% mark up lmao.

[Anonymous No.18963127]

>>18963071
lard mayo will be my goal then

[Anonymous No.18963130]

>>18962936
Don't forget the soup, there's always soup.

[Anonymous No.18963143]

>>18963127
Post results, also try tallow!

[Anonymous No.18963158]

>>18963143
i have a feeling you are the rapeseed anon who wants to violate people with his food. Is my lard idea misguided? mayhaps i have been bamboozled

[Anonymous No.18963168]

>>18963158
>Is my lard idea misguided
Probably. It would be nothing like mayonnaise. More like some sort of butter-like spread. Eggy-lard-butter.

[Anonymous No.18963171]

>>18963158
do it nerd
post results

[Anonymous No.18963176]

>>18963158
No, I'm the whisk anon. Also, link: https://www.seriouseats.com/the-food-lab-meatonnaise-mayonnaises-mayos-bacon-lamb-duck-beef-fats-science

[Auoroa No.18963188]

Now you anons can stop debating, the winner has shown up.

[Anonymous No.18963193]

>>18963176
wow cool. but lamb fat has very distinct taste. That sauce will be very very sharp

[Anonymous No.18963195]

>>18963188
Oh, you like islands huh?
Name one thousand.

[Anonymous No.18963208]

>>18963188
The Ketshup thread is two blocks down

[Anonymous No.18963209]

>>18963193
The article mentions the lamb meatonaise is pretty light, but I'm interested in the tallow meatonaise and burger combo.

[Anonymous No.18963211]

>>18963193
>wow cool
>1/4 cup rendered beef fat, melted
>1 1/4 cups canola oil
>2 egg yolks
It's just regular mayonnaise with a tiny amount of animal fat added... and uses canola oil as well...

It would have been cool if the guy made fractionated lard, and then made legitimate animal-fat mayonnaise. I thought it was pretty unimpressive...

[Anonymous No.18963213]

>>18963188
>same 12 fl oz size
>same great taste
What exactly is communicated by this?

[Anonymous No.18963223]

>>18963209
I misread, its the duck fat one that was light flavored.

[Anonymous No.18963232]

>>18962915
for me it's weeb mayo

[Anonymous No.18963233]

>>18963211
i actually didnt notice the amounts. in that case its stupid and pointless

[Anonymous No.18963236]

>>18963232
>thing but japanese
i bet you think panko is better than proper breadcrumbs

[Anonymous No.18963237]

>>18963236
>thing
:(
>thing, JAPAN
:)

[Anonymous No.18963245]

>>18963236
Yes, anime website
Nta and real talk though, it does taste different enough to be it's own thing.

[Anonymous No.18963251]

>>18963245
sure, i dont really have anything against panko, but it began to appear in lot of non japanese recipes and i have no idea why. its more expensive but the taste difference is minimal

[Anonymous No.18963256]

>>18962915
>This is better than normal mayonnaise in every way

So few words, so many problems.
MW (may it's inventors and proponents burn in hell forever), IS FUCKING NOT mayonnaise, nor a substitute.
In actual reality, it's the poorest salad dressing ever created.
If you ever use this abomination, this offense in the eyes of GOD, just try substituting ranch instead.
Thank me in your prayers, I don't honestly expect you to admit how wrong you were online.

[Anonymous No.18963260]

>>18962936
Rent Free.
Must suck to live in the Shadow of America, my honest condolences.
So sad...

[Anonymous No.18963263]

>>18963256
Don't forget the air! They literally pump air into their shit to make it take up more volume.

[Anonymous No.18963264]

>>18963061
Jeebus, I honestly hate about 50% of you, but I resently had an issue with a video game and went to /vg/, and it made me homesick for you retards.
*shudder*
*sigh*
*acceptance*

[Anonymous No.18963266]

>>18963260
Fragile much? i like aymerica anon, but this comes from a real experience with american cooking. Marylandian to be precise

[Anonymous No.18963269]

>>18963256
menbros... we lost another one

[Anonymous No.18963271]

>>18963263
True story: air is often an important ingredient.
Still despise MW and it's culture.

[Anonymous No.18963277]

>>18963266
>Marylandian to be precise
The actual quintessential Mary-land recipe is a bushel of crabs, two cases of Budweiser and a chocolate cake.
Trust me, I grew up in Bal-ti-more county.

[Anonymous No.18963281]

>>18963277
that girl doesnt eat seafood. Yeah, i dont get it either

[Anonymous No.18963320]

>>18962936
American food? Tastes like amazement to me.

[Anonymous No.18963506]

>>18962915

[Anonymous No.18963570]

I don’t like it. My brother in law likes it. He’s an asshole.

[Anonymous No.18963587]

I unironically think this tastes the best

[Anonymous No.18963601]

>>18963587
t. Grimes

[Anonymous No.18963609]

>>18963601
Grimes likes the real shit, right?

[Anonymous No.18963638]

>>18963587
I like the Just Mayo made with peas, but it got really expensive. Homemade mayo is stupid cheap and very tasty.

[Anonymous No.18963646]

>>18963638
I haven't tried Just's mayo. One of my friends slams their toaster egg patties every morning. I don't think he's even a vegetarian.

[Anonymous No.18963663]

I guess its not horrible if I'm making a burger sauce and have no alternative but I have to agree that it almost has some type of sweet and sour after taste to it that makes it offputting once you switch to real mayo. I can accept that people like it but I find people who do like it have to have sugar in almost every component of their diet.

[Anonymous No.18963761]

>>18963646
I'm not either, it just tastes better than regular storebought Kraft or Hellmans.

[Anonymous No.18963846]

>>18963587
I don't WANT to hate gay people, but you're really trying my patience, troll or not.
Either way, stop sucking the cock, you don't deserve a man's "love" (semen).

[Anonymous No.18963856]

>>18963846
>my man sees mayonnaise and immediately starts thinking about cock
yes, good, the pornography is working

[Anonymous No.18963903]

>>18963663
>I guess its not horrible
You guessed wrong. WHY THE FUCK is it even in your fridge?????
>>18963663
>making a burger sauce and have no alternative
Fuck's sake. Right this second, I've got real mayo, ranch dressing, Russian dressing, horseradish, two kinds of mustard, A1, Worcestershire, pickle relish, brown gravy mix, eggs, olive oil, butter, shallots, onions, bell peppers, liquid smoke, Texas Pete's, Tapatio, Cholula, Maggi, soy sauce, garlic and whiskey in the kitchen. That's not even counting the dry ingredients, FFS. I could make a literal thousand different burger sauces and never resort to the "Worst Salad Dressing Ever™".
Good fucking lord, you're an idiot.

[Anonymous No.18963908]

>>18962915
Is it like salad cream?

[Anonymous No.18963910]

>>18963856
protip: it's not really mayo.

[Anonymous No.18963950]

>>18963903
Fuck me, left out tomato paste, and probably a dozen other potential ingredients, including two different home-made BBQ sauces, brown sugar and canned mushrooms.

[Anonymous No.18963957]

>>18963950
I can't BELIEVE I'm this drunk at work, but gotta add: FUCKING KETCHUP.

[Anonymous No.18964654]

>>18962915
>sneed oil garbage

NEXT

[Anonymous No.18964922]

>>18962915
i smell watermelon, fried chicken and colored pop

[Anonymous No.18964925]

>>18962915
No

[Anonymous No.18964934]

>>18962915
I like to use miracle whip instead of marshmallows on smores

[Anonymous No.18964938]

>>18963236
that japanese kewpie doll mayo is really nice. tried it once thinking it would be standard but it isnt.
for starters, there is zero sugar added to it, none. they use different type of vinegar and it is noticeable in its flavor. LIDL used to carry mayo that tasted the same years and years ago, it used to come in plastic square tubs. if you want sugar free mayo japanese mayo is a really nice option.

[Anonymous No.18964940]

>>18963001
>until you liek it
KEK
untilll u lieeeeek et
fucking lol

[Anonymous No.18964953]

>>18964934
>I like to use miracle whip instead of marshmallows on smores
WHAT THE FUCK

[Anonymous No.18965710]

>>18963903
>>18963908
>>18963957
My guy I never buy it I'm just saying like if I have to cook at a friend or families house and its the only choice. While I agree if I have those ingredients to make a better dressing for myself I will do it. But not for boomers who won't appreciate it and will drown their food in goyslop condiments and add ons.

[Anonymous No.18965812]

>>18962915
I had an avocado oil based mayonnaise which tasted just like miracle whip.

[Anonymous No.18965879]

>>18965710
>its the only choice.
NO, that's a moral failing by itself.
MW should never BE a choice, let alone "the only choice".
At a friend or family member's house, I'd be doing them a favor by flushing that nonsense down the toilet.
If you were a halfway decent human being, you'd understand that.
But seriously, are you going to pretend that MW is your ONLY choice?
Even tastelets have ketchup and mustard in the fridge, you useless mong.
I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her from marrying anyone as hopeless as you.
Just open a vein.

[Anonymous No.18965886]

>>18965710
>goyslop
OOPS! Missed this part. Your "opinion" automatically does NOT count.
Useless shitbag.

[Anonymous No.18965888]

>>18965879
>this whole post
I find this kind of shit so cringe

[Anonymous No.18965894]

>>18965812
>I had an avocado oil based mayonnaise
OOOH! I forgot "avacado oil".
See also:
>>18963903
>>18963950
AND...
>>18963957

[Anonymous No.18965904]

>>18965888
>I find this kind of shit so cringe
Then you're a shitty cook.
Just go back to downloading pics of underage boys in drag on /b/.
Stop shitting up my favorite board.

[Anonymous No.18965933]

>>18962915
I've been using a squeeze bottle recently
it's a little tangy I guess but I don't really care for the difference either way
but I usually eat it in a sandwich or mix it with hot sauce when eating dry chicken breast

[Anonymous No.18965954]

>>18965904
>you're a shitty cook because you think melodramatic "le quirky" fake intensity cringelords are cringe as they are
Ok

[Anonymous No.18965976]

>>18965904
no hes right that kind of thing is painfully cringe. you and your ilk are the ones shitting up the board here

[Anonymous No.18966894]

>>18965933
>hot sauce when eating dry chicken breast
Fuck me in the ass with a two-by-four. Just learn to make chicken gravy.

[Anonymous No.18966900]

>>18965954
>>18965976
Not sure how you obvious AI spambots got past the ridiculous captcha, but PLEASE just go away.
Humans first, humans only.
Also, MW is nasty, and any actual person knows it, or has never experienced real cooking. (sad)

[Anonymous No.18966919]

>>18966894
clean my ass with a toothpick how do I make chicken gravy with a dry chicken breast
MW and hot sauce was fine

[Anonymous No.18966987]

>>18966919
>clean my ass with a toothpick
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
I'd rather bring an electric toothbrush, and give you a proper cleansing.

>MW and hot sauce was fine
You're not just a bad person, you're bad at being a person.

>how do I make chicken gravy with a dry chicken breast
Jesus, you just don't belong on /ck/.
Go to youtube, learn to cook, and someday you might belong here.

[Anonymous No.18967388]

>>18966919
>how do I make chicken gravy with a dry chicken breast
With butter, flour, a fuckton on stirring, then mix chicken bullion (you can buy it by the gallon) with water, stir that shit up, add it to your roux, keep fucking stirring, take the dick out of your mouth, add cream to taste.
Wah-fucking-lah.
Jesus fucking Christ "hOw Do I mAkE gRaVy????"
Fucking retard.

[Anonymous No.18967404]

>>18967388
Oh, oops, I forgot how monumentally retarded you are.
You need to do all this over medium-low heat.
God help you, sad fool.

[Anonymous No.18967417]

>>18967388
If you're going to buy bullion for gravy you might as well just fucking buy gravy.

And you're calling this other guy retarded...

[Anonymous No.18967458]

>>18967417
We've already established the part where he (you?) just doesn't know how to cook.
Congrats on jumping on the "might as well McDonald's" bandwagon. You don't belong/deserve to post on /ck/.
How fucking hard is it to make fucking gravy, or make a woman cum? I guess you'll never know the answer to either, loser.

[Anonymous No.18968408]

Know the difference idiots

[Anonymous No.18968553]

>>18968408
A-fucking-men.
Except you skipped the part where MW is an abomination in the eyes of God and all decent people. "world's nastiest pseudo-mayo, but we're just a really shitty salad dressing" isn't really a bragging point.

[Anonymous No.18968609]

miracle whip
1933
rich fatbags wants to make "less expensive" mayo to sell
cuts the mayo ingredients (ie. oil, salt) with even cheaper ingredients
needs to stabilize the mayo better now so adds corn starch and other trash
uses the cheapest ingredient of them all; air. more air fluffs up the volume
tastes like ass so the last step was to add sugar

markets it out in depression era as a cheaper alternative to mayo, lies and tells you that its healthier.

[Anonymous No.18968626]

>>18963256
>IS FUCKING NOT mayonnaise
true
>nor a substitute
as a condiment for sandwich, it's just better FOR ME. The few spices MW has pairs well with whatever meat is in your typical sandwich. regular mayo is pretty bland. Creamy, rich, delicious, but there's not much kick to it.
>If you ever use this abomination, this offense in the eyes of GOD, just try substituting [something that tastes completely different from MW]
No. I like the tangy zip of Miracle Whip, and there's nothing you can do to stop me

[Anonymous No.18969624]

>>18968626
>as a condiment for sandwich, it's just better FOR ME
It takes all kinds, I guess.
Just like heroin, you do you, but please don't give an innocent child or other helpless fool a dose.

>>18968626
>there's not much kick to it.
Yeah, that's what mustard and horseradish are for.

>nothing you can do to stop me
Not until "The Day of The Rope™". Good luck, godless heathen, may you die well.

[Anonymous No.18969658]

>>18968626
In all seriousness tho, have you ever tried ranch on a sandwich?
Works better with roast beef than ham.

[Anonymous No.18969663]

Miracle Whip is like mayo...but punk.

[Anonymous No.18969675]

>>18969663
>but punk.
Is that supposed to be a plus?
Never met a punk who wasn't a delicate, whiny bitch (with daddy issues, boy or girl).

[Anonymous No.18969753]

>>18968626
You disgust me on a primal level. If I met you out in the wild I would grab the closest rock and bash your head in.

[Anonymous No.18969764]

>>18969753
But what if the closest rock was really tiny?

[Anonymous No.18969768]

>>18969753
Dial it back dude. I also come here to hate on people, but that's just fucked-up. Not him, btw.

[Anonymous No.18969774]

Miracle Whip is inedible garbage. I'm guessing it's basically straight up hydrogenated oil, HFCS and a slew of chemical stabilizers and emulsifiers to make up for the omittance of egg. Hellman's and Duke's are about the only two large commerical brands worth eating, with Duke's being better. Hellman's gimmick is a little sugar for sweetness, and Duke's is apple cider vinegar for tang.

[Anonymous No.18969815]

>>18969774
>I'm guessing
You don't have to guess. We have a thing now called the "interwebs".
Ingredients: Water, Soybean Oil, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Vinegar, Modified Cornstarch, Eggs, Salt, Natural Flavor, Mustard Flour, Potassium Sorbate as a Preservative, Paprika, Spice, Dried Garlic. Contains: Egg.

Garlic and eggs aside, it all sounds pretty nasty.
And I'm reading "garlic and eggs", although I just typed it it, it still seems odd.

[Anonymous No.18969835]

>>18963001
>>18963011
>>18964940

[Anonymous No.18969869]

>>18969835
Thanks doc

[Anonymous No.18969900]

>>18969835
>>18969869
>>18969869
Jesus, bots are talking to bots now?
What's the point of being an actual human?
What's the point of this board if it's just machines spam-baiting other
machines?

[Anonymous No.18969903]

>>18969900
Hey newfag, it's an old meme. Is that the problem with all these "schizos"? Just fucking newfags who don't understand the board culture?

[Anonymous No.18969905]

>>18969835
It's wild to me how good our brains are at connecting abstract information. You see this seemingly innocuous picture of flowers and I instantly intuited it's true meaning.

[Anonymous No.18970108]

>>18969753
totally sane poster who definitely doesn't need to be put in a straight jacket

[Anonymous No.18970393]

>>18962915
What's the difference?

[Anonymous No.18970400]

>>18963232
only good in weeb dishes. for everything else normal Mayo blows this out of the water

[Anonymous No.18970401]

>>18963213
probably came in different packaging in the past

[Anonymous No.18970412]

>>18965888
Miracle Whip sucks ass and I agree with that anon but Pineapple pizza is fucking cash and if you are faux-outraged about it because your favorite zoomy zoom on TikTok said to be so, you are mentally handicapped and should kindly eat a bullet with your non-pineapple pizza

[Anonymous No.18970847]

>>18969903
>Hey newfag, it's an old meme.
I'm not even sure how long I've been here, but I remember showing my wife the /pol/ thread during the presidential debate in 2012.
I had already been here for years by then. Never seen "Thakls doc." before.

[Anonymous No.18970852]

>>18969903
>Hey newfag, it's an old meme.
I'm not even sure how long I've been here, but I remember showing my wife the /pol/ thread during the presidential debate in 2012.
I had already been here for years by then. Never seen "Thanks doc." before.