/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.18944009]

What is your worst ever dining experience?
For me it was
>go to a Wendy's
>immigrant is running the counter
>ask for a hamburger
>he looks dazed and confused
>they put a piece of meat and a slice of bread in a bag and give it to me

[Anonymous No.18944021]

>be me
>move to new city
>go downtown for a nice meal
>pick random fancy-looking french sounding restaurant
>sit down
>look at menu
>everything is $30+ per person, back when this was real money
>decide to try one of the cheaper options and get more if we like it
>it's just a little puddle of some sort of white sauce on a plate
>tastes OK I guess
>the whole time we're there the owner is loudly and mercilessly berating a waitress for some minor inconsequential mistake she's made
>decide not to order second course
>mfw

[Anonymous No.18944040]

It's not terrible but it was weird
>spotos steak joint
>aunt takes me for my birthday
>order rum and coke
>we don't have rum or coke, how is whiskey and pepsi?
>okay (it's disgusting)
>we start with soup and salad
>my salad comes in a big bowl with an uncut romaine head of lettuce
>the cheese/anchovies are on the side
>cut up and make my own salad
that was the end of the bad part. the entree wasn't memorable and she took me out for drinks afterwards.

[Anonymous No.18944044]

My Wendys reeks of mold. Never again

[Anonymous No.18944046]

Went to one of those business lunch style places downtown with family. Got chicken caeser. Got food poisoning. Tasted good tho

[Anonymous No.18944176]

>go to mcdonalds
>order a hamburger with no pickles
>they add pickles
this has happened at least 500 times in my life

[Anonymous No.18944813]

>>18944009
>trash tier buffet next to movie theater
>lukewarm undercooked food
>get into fisticuffs with some feral jungle person
>win, but crack a tooth on his watch or ring or some shit
>costs like 700 dollars at the dentist

[Anonymous No.18944818]

>>18944021
>>it's just a little puddle of some sort of white sauce on a plate
>>tastes OK I guess

[Anonymous No.18944824]

>>18944176
the stupid thing is that probably every single time they have actually made you a burger with no pickles, but the retard bagging up the order grabbed some other regular burger that was next to yours. Some other poor schmuck inexplicably got a burger with no pickle shortly after.

[Anonymous No.18944863]

>>18944009
>go to pizza place in Lombardy
>pizza is expensive
>owner looks Italian, should still be good
>wait an hour for food
>dad goes to complain
>finds owner outside taking a pizza box from a delivery boy

>dad mentions it to our hotel owner next morning
>"Oh he's Sicilian, you shouldn't have trusted him"

[Anonymous No.18945361]

>>18944040
>she took me out for drinks afterwards.

[Anonymous No.18945370]

>>18945361
SEXO!

[Anonymous No.18945377]

When I was at school I went to a classmates' 16th birthday party which was held at KFC. It is the only time I've ever visited a fast food stand. It was absolutely vile.

[Anonymous No.18945432]

>Finish a 30 hour road trip with family to the midwest
>Stop at a local burger joint that's supposed to be the best in town
>Order a cheeseburger and fries
>Fries are soggy, burger is so greasy and salty that the bun starts falling apart as soon as I grab it
>Can only manage a few bites despite being hungry from the long car ride
>Puke it all back up as soon as we check into our hotel
>Debilitatingly sick for most of the vacation

[Anonymous No.18945712]

>go to Popeyes
>everyone in there looks like shit literally and figuratively
>workers behind counter are immigrants and dont speak english
>leave

[Anonymous No.18945720]

>>18944009
>go to steak place for the first time
>waitress doesn't really give a fuck, not very helpful
>order... something, t-bone I guess, medium
>it's shit, tough as a leather and half of it is that stupid bone
>force yourself through it
>bill comes
>it's expensive as fuck
never again

[Anonymous No.18945778]

>be me, jewish af
>world is my oyster, goyim are made to serve me
>go to local renowned soup restaurant
>casual and carefree because im queen
>for some reason banned by a literal nazi
>miraculously i acquire an armoire full of his recipies
>because im gods chosen they're mine
>now I can have all the soup I want
>imagine me actually cooking lol

[Anonymous No.18945876]

>>18944009
>go to Carls Jr. at 2 am
>guy taking my order is obviously high
>gives me my food and laughs
>have a good one brother for real
>whatever must be high
>get home
>soda tastes like cum

[Anonymous No.18945891]

>>18945876
>he knows what cum tastes like
oh no

[Anonymous No.18945902]

>>18945891
lots of people do, you included.

[Anonymous No.18945916]

>>18945902
im a complete virgin
I've never even held a girls hand

[Anonymous No.18945922]

>>18945916
Have you never masturbated then put your hands in your mouth to chew your finger nails?

[Anonymous No.18945926]

>>18945922
? no lol. I'm extremely fastidious. I obsessively wash my hands and I only like to masturbate in the shower, where its clean
the fuck is wrong with you? I don't think I've put my fingers in my mouth for 25+ years since I was a toddler

[Anonymous No.18945938]

>>18945926
Unfortunately for you this is even gayer than throating cock

[Anonymous No.18945942]

>>18945938
that sounds pretty gay

[Anonymous No.18946100]

>>18944040
Did you sexo your aunt?

[Anonymous No.18946136]

>eat white castle
>tastes good
>fast forward 3hrs later
>stomach feels like absolute shit afterwards
>start sweating and collapse on my bathroom floor
>feel like I have a fever
>the feeling moves from my stomach to my ass
>pull my pants down and plop on the toilet
>liquid shit starts pouring out of my ass
>spend the next 30min in pure agony as my body expels all of the liquid shit
>have to shower to feel clean after

[Anonymous No.18946139]

>>18944818
Have a cleaner one

[Anonymous No.18947100]

>>18945926
>only jerks off in the shower
>he doesn't know

[Anonymous No.18947131]

>>18944813
If you got into a fistfight with a nigger at a shitty buffet next to a theater, then you're definitely a nigger too. That's why they call it a "nigger moment."

[Anonymous No.18947132]

>>18944009
>delivering beer to an empty bar that has been going out of business for a while
>coworker orders hotdogs which I already know is a bad idea
>bar manager gets this look of despair in his eyes and walks into the kitchen because he's the only employee left
>our hotdog buns explode into a million pieces upon biting them because they're beyond stale
>he apologizes and says that he just wants it to be over already
>all three of us drink beer in depressing silence

[Anonymous No.18947141]

>>18944040
this guy definitely put his benis in his aunt's vagooter

[Anonymous No.18947144]

>>18945778
Seingelt in the current year:
>george get tiktok
>elaine get onlyfan
>jerry eat microplastic
>kraner get onlyfan

[Anonymous No.18947158]

>>18944009
>Me and my dad want to hit the Indian buffet we always go to after the gym
>Closed for Family Emergency
>Whatever, lets try somewhere else
>There's a chinese buffet up the hill
>Figure we can get some cheap protein and veg, these places usually have trays of roughly chopped bone in chicken cooked with chili peppers where I lived at the time
>Get in, look at the buffet
>Has obviously been sitting for hours, place is empty
>Decide to order from the menu instead
>Place our order
>Waitress deadass walks over to the buffet and starts scooping food off it
>Get up and leave

[Anonymous No.18947159]

>>18945361
>>18946100
>>18947141
i wish. she's got fatter titties than my mom.
maybe once her boyfriend (they've been together since before i was born, they're common-law married) dies. he's a cool guy though so I'm not stressing over fucking my moms sister.

[Anonymous No.18947160]

>>18947144
Only the Kramer one fits.

[Anonymous No.18947162]

>>18947159
If he's cool he'd be fine with letting her experience a bit of nephew action.

[Anonymous No.18947165]

>>18947159
>>18947162
>>18947141
ya'll live in Alabama?

[Anonymous No.18947445]

>>18947144
Title: The Social Media Cleanse

Act 1:
Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer are sitting in Monk's Cafe, each of them glued to their smartphones, scrolling through their social media feeds. Jerry complains about how he can't seem to escape the constant barrage of political news, and George laments about his ex-girlfriend who won't stop tagging him in memes. Kramer, on the other hand, brags about his 10,000 followers on Instagram.

Act 2:
Elaine announces that she is going on a social media cleanse to clear her head and improve her mental health. The group initially scoffs at the idea, but after Elaine begins to show signs of improvement, they all decide to join her. They vow to stay off social media for a week.

Act 3:
The group quickly realizes how difficult it is to abstain from social media. Jerry becomes obsessed with the number of likes on his posts, George struggles to resist the urge to stalk his ex-girlfriend, and Kramer experiences severe FOMO (fear of missing out).

Act 4:
Elaine is the only one who manages to stay true to the cleanse, and she begins to feel more peaceful and present in her daily life. She encourages her friends to stick with it, but they all eventually cave in to the pressure of social media.

Act 5:
As the week comes to an end, the group reflects on their experience. Jerry admits that social media has taken over his life, and he needs to set some boundaries. George realizes that he needs to let go of his ex-girlfriend and move on, and Kramer decides to delete his Instagram account altogether. Elaine is proud of herself for completing the cleanse and feels empowered to continue living a social media-free life.

[Anonymous No.18947449]

>>18947445
Epilogue:
The group meets back at Monk's Cafe, and Jerry proudly announces that he's reduced his social media usage to just 15 minutes a day. George confesses that he unfollowed his ex-girlfriend, and Kramer reveals that he's found a new hobby that doesn't involve social media. They all raise a toast to Elaine, who inspired them to make positive changes in their lives.

[Anonymous No.18947456]

>>18944009
sounds made up

[Anonymous No.18947691]

>>18947456
clearly you haven't lived in America

[Anonymous No.18947807]

>>18947456
Only slightly
>wife has a lot of dietary restrictions but craves a hamburger
>she knows McDonald's doesn't use egg as a binding agent and there's one nearby
>place has changed a lot since I was last here, sterile and empty
>walk past giant touch screen to talk to cashier
>"Hey, I'll just get a regular hamburger."
>look of confusion on his face
>he's got an accent
>"Like a big mac?"
>"No. Just the baseline hamburger."
>looks over at the touchscreen "I don't think we have that."
>"Do you have a cheese burger?"
>"Yes."
>"I want one of those, but without cheese"
>gives me a look like I've invoked the dark arts
>fucker put cheese on it anyway

[Anonymous No.18947826]

>>18947807
plain hamburgers are for losers
anyone with dietary restrictions needs to prepare their own food
end of story
I am sick of picky eaters

[Anonymous No.18947830]

>>18944021
>>the whole time we're there the owner is loudly and mercilessly berating a waitress for some minor inconsequential mistake she's made
>>decide not to order second course

anon those bitch need to be kept in line, cooks always yell at them, they need it

[Anonymous No.18947873]

>Be me, excited to try out new sushi restaurant
>Enter the restaurant and immediately notice the fishy smell
>Sit down and notice the menus are sticky and gross
>Decide to tough it out and order some rolls
>Waiter comes out with our sushi and we notice the rice is hard and stale
>We try to flag down the waiter to tell him about the issue
>He ignores us completely and starts serving other customers
>Finally flag down another server and she takes our sushi away
>Waiter comes out with new rolls and we take a bite
>Realize that the new sushi has been microwaved and is piping hot
>We try to pay and leave, but the waiter insists on arguing with us about the price
>End up paying way too much for terrible sushi and terrible service

Never going back again

Absolutely the worst dining experience of my life. I think I'll stick to making sushi at home from now on.

[Anonymous No.18947930]

>>18947807
what a bastard

[Anonymous No.18947951]

>>18944009
Went to a Pizza Hut and one of the last buildings to have a buffet. When I went inside the building was deserted. Now I mean like nobody in the dining area and there was nobody at the counter either. I had this thought that maybe the place closed and they left the doors unlocked.

So I was like "Okay..." and went outside. I walked the other way around the building and saw a bunch of employees on their smoke break. All the employees.

So I asked if the restaurant was open. This meth head looking blonde responded to me by holding up her middle finger without turning around. Found out later the restaurant was imminently closing.

As added insult to injury there is a Pizza Hut that opened even closer to my residence that won't deliver to my part of town.

[Anonymous No.18947952]

>>18947807
No one is here to cater to your wifes sons retarded food allergies , eat at home

[Anonymous No.18947971]

>>18947807
it's just called a hamburger, lol

[Anonymous No.18947972]

>>18947971
This, and if you are too dumb to find it on the menu, you dont get it

[Anonymous No.18947976]

>going to convention as a teenager with friends
>it's my birthday and we're going to a maid cafe
>we get up early to hit Wawa for breakfast beforehand
>it's con level busy, but I figure "what's the worst that could happen"
>I place an order for a bagel and a smoothie
>I actually get my smoothie in like 5 min
>waiting on bagel for 10
>for 20
>the Wawa surges with working adults and nerdy manchildren
>waiting for 30 minutes
>I can't even get up to the register, but I can see the ticket numbers, and they're way behind
>I finally see mine coming up around minute 40
>It dies down enough to squeeze up to the counter, I ask the guy working how my bagel's coming
>he tells me he's gonna check on it
>disappears
>another 10 minutes go by, an old lady who's been waiting almost as long as I have apologizes to me
>finally the dude comes back
>"oh yeah we're out of bagels"
>I ask about my money since you pay ahead of time and I paid for a bagel I can't receive
>the manager swoops in like a hawk to remedy the situation
>the crowd clears around him
>I just wanted a bagel man
>He ends up being super nice and makes my smoothie free and lets me pick out a hot pre-made snack for free
>I now have to sprint to the con hall to not be late for the hard-to-get-into maid cafe
I just wanted a bagel for breakfast

[Anonymous No.18947982]

>>18947873
the nose knows, bro. so many terrible experiences in my life could have been avoided if i paid attention to where there were horrible smells

[Anonymous No.18949001]

>>18947982
I generated this >>18947873
post with chatgpt. I have done this with a few comments around the board and no one seems to have noticed yet

[Anonymous No.18949057]

>>18947445
>>18947449
the episode would need to end with elaine ultimately failing
>no hugging, no learning

[Anonymous No.18949060]

>go to local fast food joint at 8 pm
>totally empty inside, 3 zoomer brown employees
>order a breakfast burrito
>zoomies rough house and hoot and hollar for 20 minutes
>i'm awkwardly silently sitting and watching them take 20 fucking minutes for a burrito
>get up and ask them wtf is going on
>oh yeah its almost done
>35 minutes total to get one burrito, as I'm the literal sole customer
>it's okay

next
>vacation in italy, lake como
>from the usa, I know good pizza. expect even better from italy
>go to restaurant by lake front, looks nice but pretentious
>servers awkwardly staring at me to "entice me in"
>servers weirdly standoffish
>order a pepperoni and mushroom pizza
>these utter buffoons give me a pizza with chopped hot dogs 1" thick with unsliced canned mushrooms
>crust soaked from mushroom water

it was that moment I learned italians dont actually know shit about pizza.

[Anonymous No.18949068]

>>18949001
I've been doing this in a lot of threads but mine always come out looking like they were written by a corporate shill or something. What prompt are you using?

[Anonymous No.18949084]

>>18949060
another
>go to local italian joint with family (4 people)
>place has high reputation, high prices
>its busy but not crazy
>food takes 45 fucking minutes
>my pizza is overcooked
>wifes sausage is UNDER cooked
>mom got 4, count em, 4 raviolis
>dad got a woody chicken breast
>they managed to fuck up all 4 meals in 45 minutes
>we also order dessert (to come after the main course)
>they forgot about, of course, took another 20 minutes for dessert

should have gone to olive garden

[Anonymous No.18949182]

>>18949068

[Anonymous No.18949205]

>>18947159

>No common law marriage in Alabama
>He said aunt, not cousin
This guy has got to be from Florida.

[Anonymous No.18949207]

>>18947165
See >>18949205
Mean to reply to you.

[Anonymous No.18949209]

>>18947976
It’s time to let this go anon

[Anonymous No.18950200]

>>18949182
Very nice, much more detailed request than what I've been giving it. I'll have to experiment with this.

[Anonymous No.18950225]

>>18949001
I could tell because it was a terrible story. Microwaving sushi?
AI will never replace my organic shitposting.

[Anonymous No.18950307]

>>18944824
Nah, the retard making it just goes on autopilot and makes every sandwich the same, customer requests be damned.

[Anonymous No.18950380]

>>18945926
>jerking off in the shower

fucking disgusting it makes cleanup so much worse

[G8rH8r No.18950457]

>>18944040
that’s called a wedge salad. Not uncommon

[Anonymous No.18950468]

>>18950380
i shoot it down the drain

[Anonymous No.18951707]

>order crème brûlée
>its not caramelized

[Anonymous No.18951851]

>>18945876
Service areas are recorded at all times, you liar

[Anonymous No.18951894]

>>18944009
not getting a lunch break at work was the worst dining experience ive had

[Anonymous No.18951930]

>>18949001
okay i tried to do this and... what the fuck? what is inherently derogatory or offensive about greentext????????????????????????????? Does the AI just see '4chan' and think everything associated with it must be inherently evil? Wait do normal people think that???? What the fuck.

[Anonymous No.18951981]

>>18949068
Two things that didn't happen in one thread. Impressive!

[Anonymous No.18952038]

>>18951851
Hey anon, when was the last time a camera stopped someone from committing a crime?

[Anonymous No.18953691]

uhh