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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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18658819 No.18658819 [Reply] [Original]

I don't need to explain this, do I?

I wish bottom round of beef was as tender and flavorful as a chuck roast but still just as cheap.

>> No.18658832

>>18658819
Granted, Chuck Roast is $8.99/lb now.

I wish they made a kind of beer that makes you lose weight when you drink it.

>> No.18658844

>>18658832
Granted. But it's only available on tap at your local library. You will be asked to leave if you speak while imbibing.

>> No.18658872

I wish fast food quality went back to how it was 40 years ago
Hard mode: it's not 5x more expensive

>> No.18658874

>>18658872
Granted. Jack in the box now serves exclusively kangaroo meat.

>> No.18658905

I wish there was a tasty breakfast cereal that isn't made with corn syrup.

>> No.18658908

>>18658905
No.

>> No.18658920
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18658920

>>18658905
granted, you get a healthier option with no corn syrup or sugar but it just tastes like shit now

>> No.18658933

>>18658920
Grape nuts exist. We all want to forget they do, but they do.

>> No.18658945
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18658945

>>18658905

>> No.18659021

>>18658905
Granted, all corn syrup in cereals has been replaced with sorbitol.

I wish my favorite beer was in stock at the store more often.

>> No.18659033

>>18659021
>you now have to ask someone to get it for you

>> No.18659052

>>18659033
Holy fuck are you that autistic that asking a clerk to grab something is somehow a problem?

>> No.18659062

Pata de macaco, uma delicia

>> No.18659077

>>18659052
Well what's your idea to make it inconvenient? Make it more expensive? why's everyone gotta be autistic what if there's always a line to get it or something quit being so unimaginative you prick

>> No.18659085

>>18659077
You do you. The general approach to a monkeypaw thread though is typically that you subvert the wish in a way that even though it's granted nobody would ever want it. The curse is supposed to be exceptionally bad. Granting a wish but making someone ask a clerk for it isn't really an obstacle.

>> No.18659098

>>18659033
>no wish

>>18659021
Granted, it's an all-new recipe everyone hates

I wish fast food and haute cuisine swapped places so Michelin rates fast food and fine dining is affordable

>> No.18659105

>>18658872
Granted, it's 2x more expensive, and not actually very much better without the rose tinted glasses of nostalgia.
I wish duck was as cheap as chicken while still being as flavorful.

>> No.18659107

>>18659098
Granted. But the quality and price follow Michelin. A five star restaurant now fails it's health inspections to serve microwaved hamburgers and McDonald's tasting course consists of 18 dishes and starts at $500/head.

>> No.18659127

>>18659098
Granted, most fine dining establishments close because they can't compete with the new upmarket fast food, which becomes ubiquitous

>> No.18659614

>>18658844
>another excuse to visit the library
>can bring your laptop and play video games while you lose weight
this is meant to be a curse

>> No.18659641

>>18659614
Drinking in silence, alone IS a curse anon. You may be young enough to not realize that yet, but it is.

>> No.18659694

I wish the amount of meat you eat would not be a topic of left wing Vs right wing politics and we would appreciate a good steak enough to treat our food animals better.

>> No.18659696

>>18658819
I wish all your taste buds got relocated to your asshole

Have fun bro

>> No.18659712

>>18659696
Granted. But I get Covid and lose all sense of taste. Dirty fucking piglet.

>> No.18659921

>>18659694
Granted. Livestock now benefit from affirmative action and are given university places and jobs preferentially, with bipartisan support.

>> No.18660975

>>18659641
>implying i have such an external locus of control as to need others around at all times to maintain happiness
>implying i didnt learn to enjoy my own company after imploding in my 20s
>implying you cant have solitary pleasures and interpersonal ones at the same time

while i wont wish what i went through on you, it was a helluva crash course in self-actualization. even if youre baiting, someone here might think its legit

>> No.18661641

>>18658819
that's not a monkeypaw that's monkey bread

>> No.18661758

>>18659021
Granted, but it can only be obtained by signing up for a monthly subscription package.

>> No.18662157

>>18659105
Granted. It's now exclusively farmed in china

>> No.18662194

>>18659696
granted
dick is delicious

>> No.18662200

I wish I could eat the cursed monkey's paw.

>> No.18662279

>>18662200
Granted, but you must live a cursed life granting other people's wishes while having no agency of your own.

I wish little Debbie nutty bars had 0 calories while tasting and costing exactly the same

>> No.18662310

>>18662279
>you must live a cursed life granting other people's wishes while having no agency of your own.
nah I'm gonna kill myself to rid the world of the curse

>> No.18662450

>>18659105
Granted. Duck now tastes like chicken. Your high school English teacher slaps you for having poor grammar.
>>18658874
Not seeing a downside here
>>18662279
Granted. They are now made from bug exoskeletons, olestra, and research chemicals. The texture is gritty and foul, and they give you diarrhea and cancer