ck humor thread

[Anonymous No.18657002]

post /ck/ humor

i need a laugh,

[Anonymous No.18657014]

I misread your thread title as "ok boomer thread".

[Anonymous No.18657022]

>>18657014
the mind sees what it wants to

[Anonymous No.18657065]

[Anonymous No.18657073]

>>18657002

[Anonymous No.18657081]

[Anonymous No.18657089]

>>18657081

[Anonymous No.18657095]

[Anonymous No.18657096]

[Anonymous No.18657104]

>>18657002

[Anonymous No.18657108]

>>18657073
What happened?!

[Anonymous No.18657154]

>>18657108
Mustard gas

[Anonymous No.18657158]

[Anonymous No.18657162]

>>18657108
the pressure cooked

[Anonymous No.18657170]

[Anonymous No.18657176]

[Anonymous No.18657180]

[Anonymous No.18657187]

[Anonymous No.18657190]

>>18657180

[Anonymous No.18657193]

[Anonymous No.18657195]

>>18657187
>Widdly scuds?
Gets me every fucking time

[Anonymous No.18657199]

[Anonymous No.18657201]

[Anonymous No.18657202]

[Anonymous No.18657203]

[Anonymous No.18657204]

[Anonymous No.18657206]

>>18657199
kek
>>18657002
sorry for your loss OP, that looks like a nightmare

[Anonymous No.18657209]

[Anonymous No.18657211]

[Anonymous No.18657212]

>>18657065

[Anonymous No.18657217]

[Anonymous No.18657220]

[Anonymous No.18657222]

[Anonymous No.18657225]

[Anonymous No.18657227]

[Anonymous No.18657233]

[Anonymous No.18657235]

[Anonymous No.18657237]

[Anonymous No.18657238]

[Anonymous No.18657239]

[Anonymous No.18657241]

[Anonymous No.18657244]

>>18657233
which one is the real one though.....

[Anonymous No.18657245]

[Anonymous No.18657251]

[Anonymous No.18657257]

[Anonymous No.18657258]

>>18657237
I bet Rachel Ray's pussy smells like forst press EVOO, and I wanna sop my bread it it if you know what I mean

[Anonymous No.18657262]

[Anonymous No.18657263]

>>18657257
has science gone too far

[Anonymous No.18657266]

[Anonymous No.18657269]

[Anonymous No.18657272]

[Anonymous No.18657273]

>>18657002
What am I here to make you laugh? Do your own research you fucking faggot.

[Anonymous No.18657274]

>>18657266

[Anonymous No.18657275]

[Anonymous No.18657276]

[Anonymous No.18657278]

I haven't seen so many total hollywood suckups in one thread since last month.

[Anonymous No.18657282]

[Anonymous No.18657287]

[Anonymous No.18657289]

I turned the wrong knob on my stovetop once and spent 15 minutes wondering why my butter wasn't melting.

[Anonymous No.18657292]

[Anonymous No.18657296]

[Anonymous No.18657297]

This is worse than reddit, it's facebook tier

[Anonymous No.18657299]

Do you faggots watch those award shows from hollywood?

[Anonymous No.18657300]

>>18657282
thats not how flow charts work

[Anonymous No.18657302]

[Anonymous No.18657304]

>>18657297
The sad thing is that you still know about those instead of deleting them.

[Anonymous No.18657305]

>>18657296
Lost

[Anonymous No.18657306]

[Anonymous No.18657310]

[Anonymous No.18657312]

[Anonymous No.18657316]

[Anonymous No.18657318]

[Anonymous No.18657322]

>>18657297

[Anonymous No.18657327]

[Anonymous No.18657330]

[Anonymous No.18657337]

[Anonymous No.18657344]

[Anonymous No.18657348]

[Anonymous No.18657351]

>>18657310
What a waste of food. I bet those two chucklenuts fucked right after too

[Anonymous No.18657353]

[Anonymous No.18657355]

>>18657348
What's funny about this? Are you one of those dumbfucks that thinks lard is unhealthy or something?

[Anonymous No.18657357]

[Anonymous No.18657359]

[Anonymous No.18657361]

[Anonymous No.18657364]

[Anonymous No.18657369]

[Anonymous No.18657372]

[Anonymous No.18657374]

[Anonymous No.18657377]

[Anonymous No.18657378]

[Anonymous No.18657386]

[Anonymous No.18657392]

>>18657316
Tomatoes taste nothing like tomato sauce to me. Am I gonna die?

[Anonymous No.18657395]

[Anonymous No.18657396]

>>18657104
>Espresso is 80% milk or more
He's right though

[Anonymous No.18657398]

[Anonymous No.18657404]

>>18657002

[Anonymous No.18657416]

https://youtu.be/OoaDqBqqR0w

[Anonymous No.18657423]

>>18657065
this "graphic design is my passion" type of cold pockets humor has been dead since like 2017
It's fucking gay

[Anonymous No.18657428]

>>18657276
This is a stand power

[Anonymous No.18657429]

[Anonymous No.18657481]

>>18657073
wasnt this one of ours? i think it was from an old b story.

[Anonymous No.18657525]

>>18657327
tldr.

[Anonymous No.18657526]

>>18657302
He should replace that double cream with cooking cream, it has half the amount of fat

[Anonymous No.18657529]

>>18657525
That is the joke

[Anonymous No.18657535]

[Anonymous No.18657541]

>>18657002

[Anonymous No.18657547]

>>18657275
>Cake pop that matches outfit
Fucking lost!

[Anonymous No.18657549]

>>18657395
This reminds me of that poor jap who ordered the cheapest noodle bowl and four free rice bowls at a ramen shop

[Anonymous No.18657550]

>>18657187
The classic.

[Anonymous No.18657554]

>>18657081
Bottoms need supporting. Tops need to treat them nicely.

[Anonymous No.18657559]

[Anonymous No.18657563]

>>18657547
did boomer condensed milk come unsweetened, or is it just their cuisine alongside jellied pig anuses?

[Anonymous No.18657569]

[Anonymous No.18657571]

[Anonymous No.18657574]

[Anonymous No.18657576]

[Anonymous No.18657577]

[Anonymous No.18657579]

[Anonymous No.18657580]

>>18657292
what the fuck is wrong with that guy's face

[Anonymous No.18657587]

[Anonymous No.18657601]

>>18657351
I know, that''s exactly what I think every time I see this.

[Anonymous No.18657602]

[Anonymous No.18657603]

>>18657353
On all levels except physical, I am a wolf...

[Anonymous No.18657609]

[Anonymous No.18657615]

[Anonymous No.18657619]

[Anonymous No.18657622]

>>18657602

[Anonymous No.18657631]

>>18657609
kek
that thai prostitute is dead
just how mark like sthem

[Anonymous No.18657633]

>>18657602
I just miss her so much...

[Anonymous No.18657659]

[Anonymous No.18657742]

>>18657002

[Anonymous No.18657752]

>>18657602

[Anonymous No.18657861]

>>18657615
I thought that was me, then I realized I don't really know what I look like. My own mental self-image isn't fucking there. This image gave me an existential crisis

[Anonymous No.18657890]

>>18657609
OOOOUH WAOOOOOW

[Anonymous No.18657910]

>>18657890
This man is a serial killer leaving a hoard of unresolved murders in his wake.

[Anonymous No.18658028]

>>18657193
painfully unfunny

[Anonymous No.18658057]

>>18657563
There's a difference between evaporated milk and condensed milk

[sunday brunch thread No.18658076]

>>18657429
lost. now i feel bad because i'm trying to be less racist.

[Anonymous No.18658083]

>>18657002

[Anonymous No.18658104]

>>18657355
I imagine it's just one spoonful being as much as the spoon can physically hold

[sunday brunch thread No.18658120]

>>18658057
No, though condensed milk has now come to be synonymous with sweetened condensed milk, strictly speaking they are the same thinking. Colloquially, however, evaporated milk has come to mean unsweetened condensed milk, while, as mentioned previously, condensed milk has come to imply sweetened condensed milk. Please have a good day.

[Anonymous No.18658123]

>>18658057
No, though condensed milk has now come to be synonymous with sweetened condensed milk, strictly speaking they are the same thinking. Colloquially, however, evaporated milk has come to mean unsweetened condensed milk, while, as mentioned previously, condensed milk has come to imply sweetened condensed milk. Please have a good day.

[Anonymous No.18658130]

>>18658083
Obligatory kwab

[Anonymous No.18658140]

>>18657296
The guy still make any more of these? I swear like I checked it wasn't updated in years.

[Anonymous No.18658141]

>>18658130

[Anonymous No.18658200]

>>18657580
he eats lard

[Anonymous No.18658203]

>>18658083
god i love this so much
i know he said it was bullshit but i hope hes seen that specific image

[Anonymous No.18658222]

>>18658203

[Anonymous No.18658246]

>>18657296
I don't get it

[Anonymous No.18658257]

>>18657104
have part 2 why don't ya

[Anonymous No.18658260]

>>18657095
say it
say slap yo mama szechaun with a side of in the name of the slaw

[Anonymous No.18658266]

>>18657910

[Anonymous No.18658282]

>>18657742
always fun seeing you guys save my caps

[Anonymous No.18658288]

[Anonymous No.18658338]

[Anonymous No.18658340]

[Anonymous No.18658398]

>>18657292
Lard is the best fat. If we replaced every sneed oil with lard, I guarantee cancer would decrease by half.

[Anonymous No.18658399]

[Anonymous No.18658407]

>>18658104
Damn so hilarious.

[Anonymous No.18658412]

[Anonymous No.18658418]

>>18658282
If you chop them thin enough you should be able to blend them raw

[Anonymous No.18658437]

>>18658418
breh, you can and you do blend em raw - just quartered unless you got some cheronbil potatoes.
blending raw potatoes is the first step to delicious potato pancakes.
i think i also added a bit of flour, but im not sure.

[Anonymous No.18658520]

>>18657095
>Asparagus Stix*: Our signature. Tossed in parmesan and chili flakes.
>* Vegan (yes. really!)
Tbf I don't expect an internet-temp copy editor pay $5/hr to know everything.

[Anonymous No.18658541]

>>18657104
>>18658257
I'm not even laughing -- my jaw is just in one of those half-about-to-laugh and half-frozen-with-speechlessness expressions.

[Anonymous No.18658544]

>>18657269
I'm dying

[Anonymous No.18658555]

>>18657158
is this real

[Anonymous No.18658558]

>>18658288
tbf outside of recipes I don't see mixed fractions much. I guess maybe household instructions. But if your country is entirely metric, I could see not using the convention a lot. So maybe not seeing mixed fractions since grade school, it's fair enough to see "2 1/4 cups" and interpret it as "2 times 1/4 cups" since after grade school that's how that structure would always be interpreted in math. Not knowing this person's precise background, I'm sympathetic.

[Anonymous No.18658580]

>>18657576
My grandparents would make and serve this dish minus the 'seafood salad' topping. It was very odd to state the obvious. Not quite sweet, not quite savory, the cottage cheese making the jello a disgusting lumpy creamy texture. The color like 1950's floor tiles...

There exists a recipe similar to this that contains ketchup and is served chilled. The color it presents as is called 'puce' and it is more 'savory' but just as inedible.

[Anonymous No.18658588]

>>18658246
its an ironic type of humor thats based on not having any humor in it. some people reply to it and pretend to think its funny because they get their kicks from others not knowing why they would find it funny.

[Anonymous No.18658590]

>>18658140
Looks like there's been a few more since I last checked a couple years back.
nedroid.com

[Anonymous No.18658591]

>>18658588
Oh. Okay then.

[Anonymous No.18658594]

>>18657541
I would like to put two fingers in her pussy and my thumb in her butthole, if you know what I mean.

[Anonymous No.18658597]

>>18657302
He should use organic free range bananas, raw-milk grass-fed double cream, and the no-gluten and no-corn versions of Special K (they have a new quinoa one now). It'll have an extra 300 kcal, but breakfast will now be dedicated to neutralizing antinutrients and fighting cancer. There'll be no more phytoestrogens sissifying this chad's diabetes, that's for sure!

[Anonymous No.18658611]

[Anonymous No.18658631]

>>18657615
cabinanon is a treasure

[Anonymous No.18658655]

>>18657416
In the flash heyday, we all knew that the humor was fucking *weird*. It wasn't for the 90s, and it wasn't the wave of the future -- it was a moment in time in which for whatever reason this shit was the funniest shit ever.

I still love a lot of those 2000s flash anims, and I still can't fully articulate why. And if anyone came out with any similar vid comedy concept today it would be worse than shit.

[Anonymous No.18658741]

>>18657073

[Anonymous No.18658744]

>>18657108
dude put the pressure cooker on super drunk and lay down for a nap like a retard
woke up hours later to his kitchen having exploded
also lurk more newfag, story is common knowledge

[Anonymous No.18658751]

>>18658655
It was basically le randum humor. Which had its place in the early 00s, but was stale by 2009.

[Anonymous No.18658752]

>>18657193
man i miss 2008 era /b/ stoner comic threads
relic of a better, much happier time on the internet

[Anonymous No.18658753]

>>18657574
>dinner for four
Notice how little they ate then. Of course if you're a tiny kid you wouldn't have eaten the full plate I guess.

[Anonymous No.18658754]

>>18657398
That Ashens video with the whole canned chicken still haunts me.

[Anonymous No.18658762]

>>18657577
They should make a 50s-style recipe for this. It would blend in like a fucking chameleon.

[Anonymous No.18658769]

>>18658741
yeah, this kind of shit is why i have a healthy fear of my pressure cooker. usually i leave it for last and just have it work alongside the rice cooker with the kitchen door closed.
still, its a useful little thing and worth the very minor risk.

[Anonymous No.18658780]

>>18658754
theres nothing wrong with canned whole chicken if you're on a budget.

[Anonymous No.18658788]

>>18657602
I'm not in a circle of high art snobs, though we know some basics, and in terms of taking actual classes I probably have the most experience among them. So I was with like four friends including gf as we walked into this gallery show, and I was just saying to someone something about whatever was neat or the artist was doing something similar to someone in the previous gallery we saw. And then my friends all stared at me and someone said something like, "You realize there's an overall theme here, right?"

To be fair I was in my late 20s before I learned that Georgia O'Keefe is not known primarily for he motifs of the American Southwest.

[Anonymous No.18658798]

>>18657225
>FOURTEEN chicken pieces
>SIX bags of fries
>large COKES
>5,456-calorie feast

[Anonymous No.18658813]

>>18658780
>theres nothing wrong with canned whole chicken
There was with the one Ashens had.
It was basically meat slurry with a half-decomposed carcass

[Anonymous No.18658817]

>>18658769
>Not have a healthy fear on everything and everyone in the CURRENT YEAR
NGMI

[Anonymous No.18658834]

>>18658817
i mean, i dont give a fuck about my frying pan, deli slicer or my knives, those cant seriously injure me outside of freak accidents.
but relaxing around the pressure cooker seems almost as bad an idea as relaxing around a nigger.

[Anonymous No.18658836]

>>18657398
>>18658754
Reminds me of some ancient youtube video where some 500 lb. lad of a lad ate a few of these raw in one sitting. It was probably one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen published on that site. I also learned that the guy passed away a few years ago, too. Anyway, thanks for reading my blog.

[Anonymous No.18658858]

>>18657541
did our society go to hell or what?

[Anonymous No.18658866]

>>18657203
Based Misato

[Anonymous No.18658894]

>>18658246
He fell asleep

[Your moms tapeworm No.18658917]

>>18658555
Anon….a pizza couldn’t hold together like that, at best the bird could have taken one slice. This is 100% fake.

[Anonymous No.18658921]

>>18657330
Hahaha classic

[Anonymous No.18658934]

>>18658917
No you cut it yourself and they pass the savings onto you

[Your moms tapeworm No.18658944]

>>18657576
>>18657574
I refuse to believe anyone ate this shit. In no way is any of this 50’s house wife shit appetizing.

[Anonymous No.18658946]

>>18657225
>fined by KFC
Do Americans really?

[Your moms tapeworm No.18658963]

>>18658558
I have no sympathy for retards.

[Anonymous No.18658981]

>>18658944
ikr? this was an era where beating your wife was acceptable. if I came home from drinks after work and was fed this shit every night, beatings would be a nightly occurrence

[Anonymous No.18659081]

>>18657579

[Anonymous No.18659227]

>>18657187
i havent seen this since like 2007 holy shit

[Anonymous No.18659334]

>>18657310
fuck you idiot chip buttys go off

[Anonymous No.18659363]

>>18658412
flvr twn brw

[Anonymous No.18659433]

>>18658744
close, but it wasn't a pressure cooker
it was can of sweet condensed milk

[Anonymous No.18659466]

>>18657310
>Fresh bread
>perfect chips
Maybe could use some spread on the bread, but otherwise delicious

[Anonymous No.18659469]

>>18657386
How much Olive Garden does this man order?

[Anonymous No.18659620]

>>18658076
A really funny racist joke is okay to laugh at in the right room. If you really feel bad about it, say a few hail marys or just feel the shame for a minute and move on.
I get it, I'm not racist but I'm a giggly bitch with a soft spot for word play.

[Anonymous No.18659701]

>>18657273
What am I, a clown? Am I here for your amusement? Get the fuck outta here!

[Anonymous No.18659705]

>>18657193
Haven't seen this in eons

Also did t bell even ever have menu items with bacon?

[Anonymous No.18659721]

>>18659705
not where I'm from. maybe it's a local thing or maybe it was the kush, who knows? maybe i missed it in the 4 times i've been to a taco bell since 1999?

[Anonymous No.18659732]

>>18657615
Holy shit those fucking teeth how does that even happen

[Anonymous No.18659755]

>>18658398
Very based of you sir. Unfortunately all nutrional research disagrees.

>inb4 big oil censoring muh poor meatlobby

[Anonymous No.18659777]

>>18658130
>kw*b
>>>/asp/
Go back, and take your failed forced meme attempt with you.

>>18658140
He only updates whenever he has a good idea. That's why nedroid is consistently high quality.

[Anonymous No.18659821]

>>18658288
>burgers will still defend imperial tooth and nail, despite it being needlessly complicated to a point where it enables retarded shit like this
Burgers just can't let go of that glorious anglo cock.

[Anonymous No.18659895]

>>18657220
Bröther, may I have some of your minerals?

[Anonymous No.18659969]

>>18657002

[Anonymous No.18660010]

>>18658338
Unfunny edit, post the icey one, that was funny

[Anonymous No.18660023]

[Anonymous No.18660024]

>>18659705
bacon club chalupa like 8 years ago, but they have it in breakfast items now too

[Anonymous No.18660053]

>>18657423
Not only does this anon suck copious amounts of cock, they are also severely underage and retarded.

[Anonymous No.18660067]

>>18657203

[Anonymous No.18660095]

>>18658946
It wasn't in America, retard

[Anonymous No.18660103]

>>18660023
OP asked for humor

[Anonymous No.18660125]

>>18657158
>>18658555
You can see the webm flicker because of poor editing.

[Anonymous No.18660129]

>>18660095
woosh

[Anonymous No.18660130]

>>18657299
sorry that there wasnt enough cp and gore to please you

[Anonymous No.18660188]

[Anonymous No.18660223]

>>18660188

[Anonymous No.18660258]

>>18660125
i dont see it flickering? it does the color adjust when turned towards the sky but thats pretty normal for modern phone cameras.

[Anonymous No.18660262]

>>18660223

[Anonymous No.18660263]

>>18657227
>be boomers
>fuck up economy so bad that the generations born after them have a hard time buying real estate even on two incomes
>"Those darn kids are too lazy and spending their money on avocado toast!"

[Anonymous No.18660290]

>>18658555
most likely not. no skidmarks on the box, a pizza holding together like that is something that is a thing with the frozen kind, the camera sweep and framing afterwards are way too perfect.

[Anonymous No.18660298]

>>18657569
Beef puddings are god tier you tastelet.

[Anonymous No.18660300]

>>18657095
>Classic carbonara with a Latin-American twist. You weren't expecting a boring old pasta, were you?

I don't know what to expect with descriptions as shit as these

[Anonymous No.18660326]

[Anonymous No.18660328]

>>18657238
It really do be like that

[Anonymous No.18660486]

>>18659732
Chug a 2 litre cola a day and don't brush your teeth. Repeat for ~4-5 years while avoiding the dentist like the plague.

t. been there and has sunk several grand into getting teeth back into a working condition

[Anonymous No.18660500]

>>18660103
I laughed. Because I'm not a fragile tourist that can't handle nigger jokes.

[Anonymous No.18660506]

>>18660326
>Hey uhh lemme get uhhh... *sigh* cummy wummy burger with sissy boy fries... yes, double-cuck that for me please

[Anonymous No.18660539]

>>18658246
He was about to call him a Zigger.

[Anonymous No.18660602]

>>18657395
So what actually happens with these people? They order essentially two meals, pose for a picture, but then what? Do they actually start talking to their pillow? Do they wait for it to eat the food? Are they always fat because they are eating two meals? What goes through their mind as they eat the meal they got for their pillow? Or do they just waste the food? Anyone with experience, I'd love to know.

[Anonymous No.18660605]

>>18658558
Only if you have autism lol wtf are you on about?

[Anonymous No.18660632]

>>18660602
The person who took the photo gets to eat.