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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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18611590 No.18611590 [Reply] [Original]

You're not Dick's Last Resort. You are not Pat's. You are a bad copy of an idea that only works for tourist traps. Stop doing this shit if you're just a regular ass restaurant.

>> No.18611597

the fuck is wrong with iced tea?

>> No.18611600

>no lettuce wraps or ice tea
>ice tea
and what do those two things have to do with each other that it would be phrased/partitioned like that?

>> No.18611611

>no wifi
I don't go to any restaurant without it. I don't even use my phone while eating, just the principle of the matter.

>> No.18611617

>and what do those two things have to do with each other that it would be phrased/partitioned like that?
You aren't interpreting the conjunction correctly. No lettuce wrap tea and no ice tea.

>> No.18611623

loving every laugh

>> No.18611633

i hate hipster millennial shit like mushrooms and onion rings

>> No.18611644

My favorite part is "any cheese other then" So much ranting and they can't even spell. What a wonderful way to advertise you suck at everything.

>> No.18611648
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Everything else on the list makes sense to be paired in that way except that one. And it's ICED tea, not "ice tea". You aren't steeping the flavor out of a fucking ice cube.

>> No.18611656

What a mystery it is that they've been closed down for like 6 months.

>> No.18611685
File: 696 KB, 1080x1923, Screenshot_20221122-143623.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Who was in the wrong here

>> No.18611699

One of them is a woman.

>> No.18611701

Things you need to "NO" before putting up this sign
You'll have
"NO" business from me.

>> No.18611703

based based based based

>> No.18611715

>I'm elite

>> No.18611721

"elite" on yelp are verified users selected by yelp staff for having quality reviews and writing quality

>> No.18611741


>> No.18611748

Thank you for correcting the record, Lauren A. Very cool!

>> No.18611779

>Burger place
>Refuses to use mushrooms
Everything besides gluten free on that list was unreasonable and retarded but that is ridiculous, variations of mushroom+bacon burgers are on the menu at almost every burger restaurant and bar/pub with "gourmet" burgers. It's literally a sign saying the chef is too shit or lazy to figure out mushrooms.

>> No.18611790

I thought this was unreasonable and then I remembered people like Alton Brown do things like demand hush puppies at restaurants because there is fried fish on the menu

>> No.18611792

unsweetened Iced tea is my drink of choice what the fuck is up with these people

>> No.18611800

>You aren't steeping the flavor out of a fucking ice cube.
The average anomalous-owned fridge/freezer begs to differ. There's TONS of mysteryflavors to choose from.

>> No.18611807

>American cheese

>> No.18611817
File: 356 KB, 220x205, 1666665694113241.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]


>> No.18611838

>Yelpers report this location has closed.

>> No.18611840

That sounds like a pretty accurate review. It's a place that survived for a time on being edgy to distract from it being another basic bitch burger joint. One wonders why they've been "temporarily" closed for ages now.

>> No.18611865
File: 158 KB, 695x727, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>f-fake news

>> No.18611878

I used to be a faggot like that until I got celiac

>> No.18611891

>go to restaurant
>waiter says "get the fuck out of here" and spits at me
>leave a tip and walk away

>> No.18611903

This guy seems like a twat

>> No.18611938

The fucking owner douche is the literal embodiment of the types of faggots on here who just can’t stop screeching “c-cope and s-s-seeeeeeeeeethe AGHHHHHH”

>> No.18611983

Dilate & Have sex

>> No.18611988
File: 801 KB, 1080x1324, 1630268192332.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

you mean sweet tea?

>> No.18611996

>Go to /ck/ restaurant
>Order food
>It's cold
>"Excuse me sir, my food is cold"
>"Cope, seethe, and dilate that will be $9.95 plus tip"

>> No.18612019

Technically you can’t really do both. Once the pee pee is gone it’s not really intercourse anymore, it’s just brutalizing and further maiming an artificial orifice by wounding it further.

>> No.18612022

The onion IT had no business being there

>> No.18612037

>no onion rings
Dropped. What kind of slop joint doesn't sell onion rings?

>> No.18612054

So they don't have onion rings. Lots of restaurants don't have onion rings. Why is everyone in this thread losing their shit?

>> No.18612069

I don't care about onion rings, I think most people in this thread think the
>Look, it's a list of services we think you probably want. But we won't give them to you!
Sign is overdone.

>> No.18612133

>no veggie or turkey burgers
>no lettuce wraps or ice tea
>no thousand island or ranch
>no mushrooms or avocados
>no wheat or gluten free bread
>no onion rings or any cheese other then American
not based

>> No.18612149

It all started with the steak ordering instructions sign, people with asperger cannot comprehend sarcasm and treat everything literally.

>> No.18612194
File: 149 KB, 960x640, unnamed_10_.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Pat's will absolutely tell you to go to the back of the line, that's part of the tourist "experience." There's also things like Karen's Diner with intentionally bad service and of course Dick's

>> No.18612202

Just tell them they are cold, it takes 10 seconds to refry

>> No.18612226

>I fucking love the food at this place and I've been there dozens of times but the service was a bit off this one time so 3 stars

What a dumb cunt

>> No.18612236

Conflicted. Owner is pretentious twat, I have no truck with vegetarians who do not broadcast their holier than thou attitude, but on the other hand, the other party is female. So it's pretty hard.

>> No.18612317

The only good tourist trap is the Heart Attack Grill :^)

>> No.18612347

just stand there until you receive your order

>> No.18612361

>no Ranch or Thousand Island
Is this supposed to be some boomer flex? Those things are older than the person that owns that business.

>> No.18612630

This shop was trying so hard to be edgy.

>> No.18612659

I think so. The sign should have just said


>> No.18612724
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>no wheat bread
>no gluten-free (non-wheat) bread
What do they serve the burgers on???

>> No.18612734

this is the most retarded boomer thing i've seen in my life but he's 100% right

>> No.18612742
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>> No.18612750

>he doesn't enjoy his burger on quantum superposition antimatter buns

>> No.18612762
File: 282 KB, 498x498, asap-pepe.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>things you're required to "no"
>"no" veggie burgers
does this mean my order has to be veggie burger?
or does it mean know (in the biblical sense) and i have to fuck the veggie burger
brehs what do they mean by >"American"
i am very confused and scared

>> No.18612798

The person who wrote the sign in the OP is a retarded boomer, so what they mean by
>"NO" Wheat or Gluten Free Bread
actually means
>"NO" Wheat Free or Gluten Free Bread

>> No.18612802

if you like “pumpkin spice” flavor you are biologically female

>> No.18612820
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He should have listened.

>> No.18612825

Least obsessed 4chin poster

>> No.18612878

>You must be at least
>wide to work here

>> No.18612880

Wide where

>> No.18612893

ok karen

>> No.18612900

I agreed

>> No.18612919

i think a lot of americans call it "wheat bread" when it has any amount of wholemeal/grain in it so it could mean that or wheat-free

>> No.18613088

White bread, you idiot.

>> No.18613335

>Try to forcefully resist the zeitgeist instead of using subversion.
>Temporarily closed.
Bet he didn't allow takeout orders too.

>> No.18613352

They're both pretentious cocksuckers

>> No.18613376

I get the no for basic vegan/vegetarian twattery, but if you don't have mushrooms, avocado, onion rings, or iced tea, the fuck are you doing as a burger joint? Those are common toppings / sides for burgers.

I mean no Iced Tea? That is bottom tier restaurant drinks right there. Can you even call yourself a restaurant without Iced Tea? Even mom and pop joints with fridge soda can manage iced tea. How bad of a fuckup are you to not have tea? How the fuck can I trust them to even know what a burger IS, if they don't know what tea is? You are definitely not qualified to operate a grill if you can't brew tea.

>> No.18613448

All I see is a restaurant defending themselves against shit customers

>> No.18613458

I'd appreciate it a lot more if they had that sign and also have onion rings, ice tea, burger substitutes, and a wide array of cheeses. Turn it into a different type of abuse, something a bit more refined like the gaslight dinner instead of just the standard abrasive domineering relationship. Just have the kitchen make what they feel like after ordering anyway and insist that was what was requested.

>> No.18613465

>no mushrooms

>> No.18613471

God I hate wanky shit like this.

>> No.18613473

>boiled pastrami burger
I immediately know every feature of this restaurant, one of them is that it's run by a retard

>> No.18613483

Perhaps they mean those vegetarian mushroom burgers?

>> No.18613671

>other then

>> No.18613677

yelpers (pompous fags) and the byproduct (pompous fag restauranteurs)

>> No.18613764
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Prominently displayed signage like this indicates an angary, self righteous, pompous, perpetually butthurt, marginally successful owner on the verge of bankruptcy.
I avoid them like the plague. They seem to be universally poorly staffed, used sub-standard ingredients, and over charge for the product.
Places like Pat's or Dicks are like a stage play, they got a schtick going for entertainment value. All the others are just cringeworthy.

>> No.18613765

Sure you don't.
I suspect you eat alone.

>> No.18613771

>I suspect you eat alone.
Only when what I'm eating is your mother's roast beef cunt

>> No.18613782

Who the hell has mushrooms on a burger unless you're a vegan pretending you're eating beef?

>> No.18613790

it's one thing to not have onion rings and it's another thing to be all "YEAH WE DON'T DO NO FUCKIN' 'ONION RINGS' HERE FAGGOT FUCK YOU IF YOU WANT ONION RINGS"

>> No.18613792

> Doesn't like a restaurant.
> Still leaves a tip.

Welcome to America.

>> No.18613797
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who thought that this would be a good idea

>> No.18613832

I always felt like Pat's is an inch away of getting their place burned down. You get a ticket and before you order their isnt any indication what it's gonna cost. One drink and a sandwich later you are down 50 bucks. I would start a fucking fight

>> No.18613852

I had nothing to add to this thread but using the retard word "based".
Aren't I a little homo?

>> No.18613865

Listen faggot, we're not all 15 like you here.
My mother died in 2005.

>> No.18613878

wait a second....

>> No.18613908

>le you eat at restaurants alone!!
don't be surprised when people think you're 15 if you say shit like that

>> No.18613970
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really not hard anons...

>> No.18614013

Shroom and Swiss delicious

>> No.18614016

My apologies, I eat your mother's dried up beef jerky cunt

>> No.18614100

It's usually drunk by Urban Americans

>> No.18614101

>Based boomer Vs zoomzoom

Only one winner here

>> No.18614110

The no singles policy exists for a reason

>> No.18614122

I eat mushrooms with everything. Its the greatest food item that doesnt come from an animal. Multiple magnitide better than any vegetable.

>> No.18614156

What? It's not even a rare thing, dude.

>> No.18614158

Cant they just display their menu? Are burgers unable to read menus?

>> No.18614174

>No onion rings
Discarded, with prejudice

>> No.18614176

>Doesnt come from an animal
>Still covered in shit

>> No.18614182

he messed with the (((elite))) and now he's NEET

>> No.18614215

On this occasion Karen is right. Dare I say, pretty based.

>> No.18614696

So kikes then. Blue check mark.

>> No.18614734

if it works, it works. mushrooms on a burger work. simple as.

>> No.18614756

Based doesn't mean what you think it means newfag

>> No.18614763

Sorry they don't put mushrooms on your burger at McDonald's. People who like actual good burgers know mushrooms are great on them

>> No.18614768

I've had some good burgers in my time. Uh I...I love a good swiss, melted swiss cheese with mush-roasted mushrooms and caramelised onions on a burger. Uh, that is hot stuff, you can get that at- at a number of different places.

>> No.18614771

No, not everything is kikes you braindead moron. Elite just means you review a shitton of places and people engage with your reviews by liking them or thinking they're helpful. Get the fuck off the internet

>> No.18614773

>Im elite
Holy fucking based. Imagine opening with that. Whoever youre arguing against just automatically loses.

>> No.18614775

The owner is a moron and his burgers are probably shit, that's why he's closed down now. Too bad so sad

>> No.18615501

This picture is actually very impressive and I want to know how the person behind the camera was able to round up so many women who are all quite similarly ugly in their own entirely unique way.

>> No.18615509
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>> No.18615520

You'd be surprised at the power of a smile. Why do you think men always tell women to smile more?

>> No.18616373

>look at all those women, so ugly to photograph!

I double dog dare you to post a picture of your ugly face for us to laugh at. I wonder what your excuse will be, or if you'll just ignore this.

>> No.18616529

Sooo.. kikes.

>> No.18616708

Yes, that is indeed the joke. Thank you, Mr. Reddit.

>> No.18616729
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>no cheese other than American
So no cheese?

>> No.18616731

Been going 16 years but never wrote a review

>> No.18616746

mushroom+swiss+mayo+onions is one of the holy trinity of burger topping combos

>> No.18616761

Cheese emulsified with extra milk is still cheese, retard. That's all American cheese is, just cheddar cheese mixed with extra milk so it melts better.

>> No.18616775

Based. On true facts. What are the other two?

>> No.18616789

cheddar+bacon+ketchup+mayo is another, but the 3rd is lost to time, though many have tried to uncover it over the years. perhaps you have an idea?

>> No.18616818

I really enjoyed burger with basturma the other day (very surprising), but I forgot what other toppings it had.

>> No.18616828
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>I'm elite
unfathomably based

>> No.18616839

When foreigner say American cheese they're talking about Kraft singles or Velveeta.

>> No.18616849
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>> No.18616854

checked.. based shroom enjoyer.

>> No.18616875

No mushrooms?

>> No.18616928

>acting bitchy on the internet
>spending your time and money making a shit burger joint

lauren wins because at least she's just a tactless shitposter and not somebody who dedicated their life to a failed meme restaurant

>> No.18617016

soooooo....youre a fucking retard

>> No.18617022

Americans need to understand that people ordering gluten-free do it because they have coeliac disease, a wheat allergy, not because it's them fancy faggot city slickers with their fad diets.
If you don't offer a gluten-free option, your restaurant sucks, period. Being proud or bragging about it despite it being an intensely cost-effective and low-price option to implement you still see shit like this

>> No.18617035

>Being proud or bragging about it despite it being an intensely cost-effective and low-price option to implement you still see shit like this
This was retarded, I think I was having a mini stroke, sgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

>> No.18617073

Americans are easily convinced that they have celiacs though, in fact you can convince your average American that he's infected with just about anything

>> No.18617186

So a certified fucking autist

>> No.18617309

White bread contains wheat you fucking retard

>> No.18617389

>not because it's them fancy faggot city slickers with their fad diets.
Yes it is exactly that. Very few people actually have celiac, it's on par with any other food allergy

>> No.18617399

I didn’t start a business to suck dick all day. Go fuck your self you stupid cunt.

>> No.18617819

Lauren clearly has the bigger dick in this situation.

>> No.18618057

White bread and wheat bread are still two different types of bread, and health-conscious types are known for asking for wheat bread over white.

>> No.18618075

Retards need to understand if you are allergic to something, it is a bad idea to go to a restaurant where said item you are "allergic' to is a main staple.

>> No.18618175
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Oh no no no no white bread bros, we were wheat the entire time!?!?!?!

>> No.18618181

>other then

>> No.18618369

It's more like Google local guide.

>> No.18618383

Damn anon now you really have my noggin joggin about what the third burger in the trinity is

>> No.18618424

Wheat bread is the dumb Amerishart way of saying whole wheat bread. They just can't handle the extra word.

>> No.18618431

No, marketers have been using the phrase "Whole Wheat" for about 20 years now.

>> No.18618435

Wouldn't know, don't live in the same shithole you do or speak your parochial dialect.

>> No.18618437

Then why are you posting about it, nerd?

>> No.18618445

But then how would I get attention and special treatment?

>> No.18618446

>American Cheese
>Kraft Singles or Velveeta
What, is there a third kind of American cheese? You guys weren't actually supposed to eat the Processed Cheese Product from those humanitarian MREs, we're pretty sure that causes mega cancer or something.

>t. Burger

>> No.18618469

It's not my fault you're a retard who can't read the sign. It's not saying, "No wheat-free bread and no gluten-free bread," it's saying, "No wheat bread and no gluten-free bread," which means they only have white bread.

>Wheat bread is the dumb Amerishart way of saying whole wheat bread.
Not true. Wheat, whole wheat, and whole grain breads all have different definitions from the FDA. You can find each of them in a grocery store and they are all distinct from one another.

>> No.18618473

>What, is there a third kind of American cheese?
Yes, there is actual non-processed American cheese which has existed for longer than Kraft Singles and Velveeta. Those processed cheeses are named after the real American cheese because that's what they aim to imitate. I buy non-processed American cheese from the deli all the time.

>> No.18618475

Yes, "wheat bread" is usually made using white flour coloured with caramel food colouring to imitate whole wheat bread, because America has forsaken God and turned to the devil.

>> No.18619474

Most people don't write up reviews unless the experience was negative or otherwise disappointing.

>> No.18619499
File: 59 KB, 800x600, 800px-Bergenost_Cheese_93_bg_122306[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>non-processed American cheese
No, there isn't. There's Monterey jack and cheddar. Actual American cheese that is cheese isn't called 'American cheese'. What you're buying is still processed cheese which is basically all the scraps from the cheese making process shoved into a mold and squeezed. Basically what people on welfare used to know as government cheese.

It's all garbage, and you have shit taste. This is actual 'American cheese' i.e. cheese that comes from America. You're buying unbranded factory waste while pretending it's somehow superior to Kraft singles.

>> No.18619562

sounds based to me.

>> No.18620945

Carbohydrate sponge aka 99c for eight tiny units of "burger buns"

Owner of the shithole sounds like a cunt. Start cooking at home, invite friends or neighbors, put eating out savings into a nice outdoor grill or kitchen stuff. Fuck smarmy restaurants.

>> No.18620955

>start cooking at home
>invite friends and neighbors
lol. this is how cooklets imagine cooking is. Just people streaming in and out of your home all day and night eating your home cooked food.

>> No.18620991

George. The correct response is to say fucking nothing and let your work speak for itself. Accusing customers of leaving fake reviews lets everyone know you're a cunt and that the bitch's 1 Star is probably accurate.

That's not to say Lauren isn't a twat; she is. But even twats can be right sometimes.

>> No.18621179

What are you doing here John. I thought you hated /ck/

>> No.18621200

lol, it's one of those people who go out to eat then just stare at a screen like a zombie

>> No.18621652

There's nothing wrong with not having onion rings or mushrooms or avocados, but there's absolutely nothing to be gained by being a smug prick about it

>> No.18621661

Pepperjack, bacon, and guacamole

>> No.18621662

The people who drink it are high maintenance and bring a business nothing but trouble.

>> No.18621682

LOL, onion rings have been around since the 60’s. That shit is as old as Elvis.

>> No.18621696

Yes anon, I'm sure your two or three anecdotal experiences are indicative of all iced tea enjoyers

you best be baiting boy

>> No.18621706

>Using public wifi
I'd rather lick a toilet

>> No.18621844
File: 2.82 MB, 1755x2048, image-15.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

When a customer has a problem with a restaurant, it's difficult to determine who was in the right. When 400 customers have a problem with a restaurant, that raises some very reasonable suspicions

>> No.18622022

>have burgers
>don't have onion rings
Well fuck you then, fucking faggot.

>> No.18622032

that poster is very very obviously being sarcastic for humour
it's like when someone talks about bell peppers being too spicy for them

>> No.18622036

thinking that your no-name burger shack has 400 "fake reviews" is pure schizo conspiratard shit

>> No.18622108

lol sounds like a shitty fucking place.

>> No.18622115

All Drunk
Yeah I'll have the turkey burger with ranch and mushrooms on wheat with provolone
A iced tea
with some onion rings

>> No.18622121

>he's been probably goyslop and sneedoil posting on here since his shit joint got closed

>> No.18622140
File: 68 KB, 960x720, lamberts.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Pic related is my favorite tourist trap.

>> No.18622171

it's the way the sign smugly refuses, as if to tirade against, popular foods in young, liberal metropolitan areas like iced teas, gluten free bread, avocados etc, but then somehow lumps in onion rings and mushrooms with those

>> No.18622194

>No, there isn't. There's Monterey jack and cheddar. Actual American cheese that is cheese isn't called 'American cheese'.
It is still called American cheese just as ricotta would be called an Italian cheese.

>> No.18622201

>euros still think all American cheese is pasteurized process cheese

>> No.18622278

That's your error. To illuminate, note that Swiss cheese isn't the only type of cheese that is a Swiss cheese.

>> No.18622315

Is this some yankee meme? Fucking carpetbaggers.

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