What’s the worst thing you ever cooked?

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Anonymous Sat Nov 12 03:47:48 2022 No.18568872 [Reply] [Original]

What’s the worst thing you ever cooked?

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 03:50:40 2022 No.18568881 >>18568872 wtf is that

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 03:51:52 2022 No.18568885 >>18568881 bread that didnt rise properly

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 03:52:18 2022 No.18568888 >>18568872 salt herring that i didn't soak it long enough beforehand, i was gagging with every bite

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 03:53:55 2022 No.18568895

>>18568872
I once made a tomato sauce that was so bad I took a covid rapid test because I was worried my sense of taste was gone. Turns out I just made a really fucking horrible sauce. It had zero flavour, despite the amount of ingredients and spices I put into it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 03:54:05 2022 No.18568896 >>18568872 the daily morning shit I took. sometimes I took another one at noon as well.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 03:55:15 2022 No.18568897 >>18568872 I've made burgers in the microwave, more than once, in fact.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 04:02:30 2022 No.18568916 >>18568872 red beans that wouldn't soften, I got desperate and added baking soda towards the end of the cooking process rather than the soaking water- tasted absolutely foul.

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 04:08:20 2022 No.18568927

Tried making curry with yogurt based sauce and it curdled. Tried stomaching it down but the texture of curdled dairy was too fucked up.
The messed up thing is the guy in the recipe video seemed to boil the yogurt without a problem. But to get it right next time i had to let the yogurt come to room temperature and then slowly bring it to a low simmer.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 04:13:41 2022 No.18568935 I fucked up cog au vine. You don't cook wine long enough it tastes like shit.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 04:15:03 2022 No.18568937 >>18568895 Imagine not tasting your food as you cook you absolute cooklet

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 04:27:25 2022 No.18568969 >>18568872 ALLAHU AKBAR ALLAHU AKBAR ALLAHU AKBAR

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 04:47:28 2022 No.18569023 i made tea with bongwater. i thought i would get high. it tasted like green beans.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 04:56:12 2022 No.18569040 >>18568881 Bread with way too much salt

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 05:16:37 2022 No.18569113 Slice it thin and fry it I'd eat it

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 05:31:47 2022 No.18569137 >>18568881 >hes never seen foie gras

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 06:13:12 2022 No.18569220

Worst fuckup I've done was an instant pot stew, supposed to be beef and lentils but I use the wrong type of lentil and they disintegrated and turned the whole thing into some unholy middle ground between jello and baby food.

It was suppoesd to feed me for several days so I tried cutting off a slice but the texture was just so revolting I threw it all out.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 06:15:27 2022 No.18569227 >>18568937 That's the weirdest part: I did... it tasted fine. I let it simmer and then came back to it about an hour later. Figured I was just used to it, so I came back half an hour after that, and nothing.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 07:00:40 2022 No.18569320 >>18568872 When I first started making chicken I once thought to make chicken legs. The thing is I put the BBQ sauce on the chicken after it was cooked while I should have soaked it in the sauce before. The first bite was terrible.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 07:01:53 2022 No.18569324 >>18568872 Essentially this. I got sold some bad yeast.

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 07:02:46 2022 No.18569327

>>18568872
first time i made chili i used chicken instead of turkey, tomatoes from garden, and also corn which i didnt cook long enough
i thought you could substitute turkey with chicken but that was a huge mistake, the tomatoes were very dry and didn't have any juice, they were very sugary, and the corn didn't cook long enough which also sucked
i ended up eating it all of it but that was a learning experience

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 07:05:06 2022 No.18569333 >>18568881 delicious marzipan

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 07:51:36 2022 No.18569402 I made some hard cider in my college apartment, but used bread yeast and too much of it and ended up with super yeasty cider

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 07:54:00 2022 No.18569405 Brought a whole duck and roasted it, followed the recipe exactly. It came out harder than rubber. Turns out it was a stewing duck, basically a really old duck that's only fit for stews.

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 08:23:39 2022 No.18569457

when i first started learning how to cook i tried making oven baked mac and cheese but I didn't fully understand how to make the cheese sauce properly yet. the end result was a gritty cheese sauce that would leave the feeling of film in your mouth.

after doing that mistake twice i have never attempted making it again.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 09:53:24 2022 No.18569635 >>18569227 COVID rapid tests only work if you don't have symptoms. Maybe you really did have the kung flu.

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 10:46:05 2022 No.18569699

I made chicken marsala using a merlot instead of a marasala one for a chinese girl I was fucking, the chicken looked like something out of a witch's cauldron. Purple as fuck with dark almost black mushrooms, it tasted okay actually but what the fuck hahaha she ate it without even complaining and we still fucked (i'm white obviously)

It was too weird though, after that i always bought marsala wine. This was only my second time making it and the first time i think i used a random white wine because i had no idea what the fuck i was doing

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 10:48:07 2022 No.18569703 I pooped in the tub

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 10:55:09 2022 No.18569715

I tried lacto fermenting slices of ginger in a silicone rim glass jar some months ago. I would burb it some times, didn't make that much gas.
Every time it would smell a little more farty and bad, but not too bad.

A couple of weeks in I tasted a slice, and instead of mellowing it was maybe even spicier than raw ginger and with the fart aftertaste.

I still burbed it on occasion, but after a month I realized it would never become pleasant and threw it out. Finally fully opening the jar and dumping the water, my entire apartment smelled like milky infant diarrhea and even tiny droplets of it made my kitchen stink for weeks. Had to throw out the silicone of the jar as well, after trying any number of methods to get the smell out, it was cursed forever

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 11:17:33 2022 No.18569748 >>18569715 holy based retard

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 11:32:22 2022 No.18569769 File: 1.03 MB, 2592x1944, fuck1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18568872 I made pizza many years ago, this was my first attempt. It may not look like much but it tasted okay though...

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 11:35:35 2022 No.18569771
File: 2.74 MB, 3264x2448, fuck2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>18569769
My gf at the time said my pizza was "okay". Emboldened by this I joined a place called "reddit" to find something new to cook. The nice people there awared me on something called "tofu".

It didn't really turn out that well, eating it raw tasted like wallpaper paste and eating it cooked... I don't remember but I never cooked it again.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 11:36:12 2022 No.18569774 >>18568885 it didn't rise at all

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 11:39:56 2022 No.18569779
File: 751 KB, 2592x1944, fuck3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>18569771
Lastly I tried making a steak. It was okay but somewhat tasteless. I noticed my German flatmate would often add things to what she cooked. So I added the only things I had in the cupboard, some apple sauce and some honey. Again it's not a dish I ever made again but meh.

Thus ends my career as an experimental cook. After this I stuck with slow cooker stuff and things that can be made in the microwave in 3 minutes i.e oats.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 11:40:14 2022 No.18569781 >>18568881 Anon used one of those all-in-one bread kits that expired years ago so the yeast was long dead

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 12:56:51 2022 No.18569886 >>18568872 liver

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 13:05:03 2022 No.18569897 >>18569769 >>18569771 >>18569779 might be the ugliest plate i've ever seen looks like something they would hang from the ceiling at Wal-Mart to show you where the plate aisle is

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 13:08:02 2022 No.18569903

>>18568935
This is mine as well.
>I like whiskey
>I like pancakes
>what if I combined them
The most vile concoction ever was the result. After two bites of the first one I poured the rest of the batter off the porch. Even the squirrels didn’t touch it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 13:08:35 2022 No.18569906 Pork chops covered in old ass Morton's season salt. It was inedible.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 13:13:36 2022 No.18569919 >>18569779 You might actually be retarded

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 13:15:41 2022 No.18569925 >>18569769 >>18569771 >>18569779 man im sorry but you are a terrible cook. absolutely unreal

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 14:13:18 2022 No.18570087 >>18569779 Nigger, do you think this is a fucking joke?

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 14:28:56 2022 No.18570140 probably that time when i tried to make a curry sauce for fish and accidentally used 10x the amount of water it called for and tried to compensate for it by adding more curry powder

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 14:37:47 2022 No.18570158

>>18568872
A few attempts at curry without a recipe before I learned what I was doing (especially once where I put too much fenugreek). Otherwise just the odd time I've burned something to the point that it was ruined.

Once I was making a huge pot of lamb stew, and right at the end dumping a bunch of old dried herbs into it only to realize the herbs had been infested with maggots. Threw out the pot and ordered chinese takeout.

>>18569769
>>18569771
>>18569779
>>18569897
I would refuse to eat food served on that plate.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 15:39:55 2022 No.18570291 File: 219 KB, 650x666, 1654395209042.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 15:49:51 2022 No.18570315 >>18569457 Could be worse. My brother tried to make oven baked mac and cheese by boiling pasta, mixing it with shredded cheese, and then baking it. Which went about as well as you'd expect.

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 16:01:45 2022 No.18570343

I used to make bootleg locker wine back in high school. I'd get those little plastic cups of grape juice because my family was poor and I got the free breakfast, then I'd just let them sit in my locker until they nearly popped. Would pass them out for $5 each. One time I saved up a bunch and my buddies and I filled up a big fancy glass seltzer water bottle with the stuff, and we drank the whole thing between us. Puked for three days. Turns out that shit can be lethal. I stopped making it after that.

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 16:21:20 2022 No.18570393

>>18569897
>>18570158
The plate is what comes of my mom buying me cutlery from IKEA when I was 18 and me looking after it well. I've only smashed 2 plates in 17 years!

I would have preferred just a plain white plate but hey ho wasent gonna turn down a freebie.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 16:23:53 2022 No.18570407 File: 140 KB, 1536x864, Compress_20221008_201635_5429.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18569925 True, I'll never be Gordon Ramsay but I eventually found my niche.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 16:24:58 2022 No.18570411 >>18568881 seitan

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 16:25:24 2022 No.18570413 File: 119 KB, 1536x864, Compress_20221008_201637_7833.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18569925 >>18570407 I feel I improved a bit!

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 16:30:56 2022 No.18570432 >>18570407 Doesn't the smoothie settle? You can make it in batches like that?

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 16:31:38 2022 No.18570436 When I first started cooking and using recipes I thought a clove of garlic was a full head of garlic. Fucked up some pasta real bad

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 16:34:47 2022 No.18570448

>>18570432
It settles a bit, those containers have pretty decent lids so I just shake it and drink directly from the container.

Yeah making food in batches is great. I blend is 2x skyr yogurts and some blueberries (or whatever frozen fruit is kicking about). That will make 2 containers. So after 3 blends I have 6 containers and they're okay in the fridge for the next week. More recently i've been making kefir instead of smoothies just for a change.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 16:44:50 2022 No.18570473 >>18570407 Next time try making mashed potatoes from instant powder and add 30% butter by volume

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 17:53:05 2022 No.18570746 >>18569769 Pizza looks okay

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 18:14:31 2022 No.18570818 >>18570407 >>18570413 I love a good redemption story. Good for you.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 18:39:51 2022 No.18570904 >>18570411 my mother used to beat me up whenever I used that word so glad im now an atheist & a furry

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 18:50:24 2022 No.18570941 >>18568872 appears to be a photograph of some sort

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 18:53:08 2022 No.18570949 Early in my cooking I tried adding vanilla to some marinade for chicken for some TexMex dish (quesadillas?). It wasn't that much but it was pretty awful. Turns out thing I like + thing I like != thing I'll like.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 18:56:39 2022 No.18570959 >>18570904 what is your fursona

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 18:58:37 2022 No.18570963 >>18568881 A man who has never heard of yeast

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:05:12 2022 No.18570993

>>18568872
>find a little bottle of salt without sodium in my pantry
>might as well try it
>heat up the pan
>season 2 steaks and veggies
>cook it
>weird smell
>try it
>literally tastes worse than rotten meat
>check the bottle of salt and its way past it's expiration date
>it took me 2 months to cook again

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:05:54 2022 No.18570997 >>18568872 Bread

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:06:32 2022 No.18570999 >>18570959 Can't post it here for obvious reasons, but it's based on a particular species of coyote.

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:16:26 2022 No.18571023
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>>18568872
Not exactly "cooked" but, when we were kids, sis and I saw Shaggy make this enormous sandwich out of everything in his fridge. We did the same thing, layering it with bread, cold cuts, veggies, condiments and cheese... we got this inedible mass that couldn't stay upright. We wound up throwing it in the garbage and getting in trouble later for wasting food.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:17:33 2022 No.18571027 >>18571023 How the fuck was it inedible, why couldn’t you take off some bread/cold cuts/cheese and eat that

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:17:43 2022 No.18571028 File: 207 KB, 1634x1567, asfds.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18570999 based also checked

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:18:33 2022 No.18571029 >>18571023 what a beautiful drawing, so much sovl

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:22:40 2022 No.18571039 >>18568872 This still could have been turned into bread pudding

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:24:03 2022 No.18571044 >>18568885 >>18569781 >>18570963 Naw that's raw nigga

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:25:06 2022 No.18571052

>>18571027
When you're a kid and things don;t work out exactly the way you imagine them to, it's all but worthless. You would have needed a fork to eat the thing and there was ketchup and mustard all over wet bread with salami and bologna. Doesn't sound terrible as an adult but as a kid, that is not cartoon delicious.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:31:03 2022 No.18571071 >>18568872 Tried to make sweet and sour chicken with tofu as a substitute, but I don't think I drained it long enough because it had almost no substance to it. It was like eating breaded marshmallows without any flavor.

Anonymous Sat Nov 12 19:50:47 2022 No.18571129
File: 504 KB, 628x610, 2022-11-12-144808_628x610_scrot.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I tried to make ersatz breakfast "sausage" (the big round slices like you see in a Full English) by pan frying some oscar mayer "honey-smoked white turkey" (not the same as their bologna).

It tasted fucking awful, like wet dog hair.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 20:07:25 2022 No.18571182 >>18570818 Thanks anon!

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 21:02:23 2022 No.18571375 >>18568872 Nice looking bread. I can't stand "artisan" bread with enormous holes. Hint for your next batch: cook it by steaming to avoid having to trim the crust.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 21:06:01 2022 No.18571384 >>18570993 >sodium free salt Isn't that meant for deicing driveways?

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 21:11:25 2022 No.18571402 File: 1.12 MB, 1512x1764, 1642859474364.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18571375

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 12 21:18:10 2022 No.18571428 File: 604 KB, 1000x750, 111.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18568872 I was once so poor I had to live on homemade hardtack for a few days. I get why sailors and soldiers used to bitch about it so much.

Anonymous Sun Nov 13 01:07:09 2022 No.18572192

>>18568872
I never eat eggs besides as an ingredient, so I don't know how they work, and still don't. I tried to do a Ragusea meringue recipe and bought some eggs, but I let them sit for more than two weeks, perhaps 3. So I made the meringue, and did an omelette with the leftover eggs which I ate. The meringue wasn't very good, and it turned out all of this gave me a giant stomach ache that made me vomit for the first time in 5 years.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 01:12:28 2022 No.18572227 >>18571428 comfy

Anonymous Sun Nov 13 01:25:25 2022 No.18572264 [DELETED]

File: 205 KB, 2048x1072, mama mia.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>tried to turn my usual meal of meatless spaghetti into a shitty chicken parm using a leftover fried chicken breast and a square of individually wrapped white american cheese
It didn't go well at all with the cajun breading on the chicken and the cheese didn't even melt. Threw it away and just ate the pasta.
>another time while broke, baby carrots that were in the fridge with not enough alfredo sauce
Turned out watery and overly sweet. And it was a huge batch too.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 01:30:07 2022 No.18572274 >>18570413 I would demolish that. Looks great.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 01:34:18 2022 No.18572292 >>18571375 Are you American or just fat?

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 04:00:50 2022 No.18572800 File: 2.26 MB, 4032x3024, za.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18568872 pizza

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 04:06:49 2022 No.18572818 >>18568895 >he took the test

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 04:13:47 2022 No.18572836 >>18570158 >especially once where I put too much fenugreek I recently was messing around and made chicken breasts with fenugreek powder and leaves and it was just really weird and bitter.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 04:25:43 2022 No.18572873 >>18568872 Unironically bread like pic in OP, it literally would bounce like a rubber ball. I ate a mouth full and spent the night next to the toiler

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 04:28:40 2022 No.18572881 >>18569327 Chicken is great in chili

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 07:23:09 2022 No.18573354 File: 2.12 MB, 2006x5166, oc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18570291 Based. FUCK JANNIES

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 07:23:13 2022 No.18573355 i made something once and ended up throwing it away but i dont remember what it was cuz i was drunk

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 08:31:03 2022 No.18573474 i made sauce from my pee i tried to do everything to mask the pee aroma and fed it to unknowing test subjects

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 09:05:14 2022 No.18573526 >>18568872 >how to make a seitan pork roast that tastes just like the REAL thing!

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 16:42:02 2022 No.18574432 >>18569320 What kind of turbo autist doesn't like BBQ sauce on chicken?

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 16:48:38 2022 No.18574444 >>18568872 I hate this loaf of bread so much that I have to hide the thread so I do not see it anymore

Anonymous Sun Nov 13 17:02:31 2022 No.18574478

>>18568872
I've made really good bread quite a few times but once forgot to add the yeast.
Waited about 2 hours and it wasn't rising an realized what I had forgotten.
Warmed up a quarter cup of water and added yeast, then tried to mix it into tge dough with more flour...
It came out overvooked, and undercooked, bland cardboard that went into the trash after 2 tiny bites.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 17:38:05 2022 No.18574600 >>18569327 >can't get juicy chicken >can't get fresh corn f

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 17:42:47 2022 No.18574619 >>18569402 I too did this once. May i be forgiven for the abomination that I brought into this world (and sceptic tank).

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 17:49:21 2022 No.18574640 >>18569703 POOPY TUBBY POOPY TUBBY

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 18:30:23 2022 No.18574767 >>18573354 I hate /ck/ mods so much its unreal

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 19:24:10 2022 No.18574923 >>18568872 Made a spinach soup way too much butter, onions and garlic. Tasted like liquid nausea. Not even my dog would eat it.

>>	Your moms tapeworm Sun Nov 13 19:32:43 2022 No.18574960 File: 15 KB, 365x346, 2267ED2B-E4BB-4C97-BEFF-7FED74800041.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18568872 Kek, that’s a pretty bad sourdough loaf anon

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 19:34:55 2022 No.18574967 >>18571044 Good thing he didn't cook it then. Wouldn't want any more of them.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 19:37:22 2022 No.18574979 >>18568872 tough fruit bread. i only did it once.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 19:44:19 2022 No.18575019 File: 491 KB, 128x128, 1668038737634321.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18568872 Please tell me someone saved the pic of the indent left in the bread after poking it.

>>	Your moms tapeworm Sun Nov 13 19:46:22 2022 No.18575030 >>18569457 Imagine not being able to make a Mornay sauce. What a cooklet, go back instant microwave ramen.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 19:50:27 2022 No.18575051 File: 2.99 MB, 722x720, 1668268840308560.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] .

Anonymous Sun Nov 13 19:57:33 2022 No.18575075

>>18568872
Pancakes. When I was twelve, I decided to try making my own dinner. I decided on tabletop stuffing, mac n cheese, and pancakes.

Those pancakes were the worst thing I've ever made. I don't know what I did, neither does my mom's friend who was babysitting me. They looked perfectly fine, almost textbook actually! But you take a bite and it just tasted like it was horrifically burnt. I ate it because twelve year old, no knowledge of taste or what's actually good when you cook it, but she had to suffer through it.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 20:38:03 2022 No.18575247 >>18574767 >deletes an active 200 post thread that's been up for four days

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 20:58:47 2022 No.18575329 File: 100 KB, 1024x804, ckiasip.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18575051 >zoomers unironically cook and eat milk steak

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 21:05:16 2022 No.18575362 >>18575051 >naw, man, you don't need tenderizer, just be sure to put about half a pound of salt, salted butter, garlic salt, and high-sodium soy sauce on it but only on one side and only once it's already cooking

Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:07:52 2022 No.18575787
File: 345 KB, 1440x1440, 297064947_466868248559317_4426431561826430968_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Once tried to cook sauerbraten (german sour beef); recipe said to add white vinegar to it while it was cooking, kind of just haphazardly splashing it in. The sauce ended up coming out a very velvety but ugly goopy brown, and the whole thing tasted like acrid sour shit; the smell just radiated off it as well. I remember putting it into a container to try and just eat some since that was going to be my main meal for while but I barely lasted one meal after that.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:11:05 2022 No.18575800 >>18575787 Someone needs to tell that painfully average slut to button her pants

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:12:27 2022 No.18575806 >>18568872 Forgot to cook the garlic first in spaghetti and used like 2 teaspoons of salt

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:19:02 2022 No.18575825 >>18574619 >sceptic tank Hmmm.. I’m not so sure about this tank.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:22:10 2022 No.18575832 >>18569769 >it tasted okay though... I highly doubt that

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:24:03 2022 No.18575839 >>18569769 You >>18569771 Are >>18569779 Such a cringy faggot, throw that fucking plate away you mega troon.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:26:34 2022 No.18575849 >>18569769 >>18569771 >>18569779 How is it possible to be this bad at cooking. Please don’t post on this board anymore, you clearly have nothing of value to offer. Stick to lurking for everyone else’s sake.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:27:06 2022 No.18575851 >>18569769 Need more olive oil

Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:27:41 2022 No.18575855

>>18568872
made a cheesecake in a big casserole pan. when it came out the texture a little bit firmer than that of whipped cream. the flavor triggered my gag reflex every time bc of the contrast between the extremely sharp flavor mixed with extremely soft cake

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:28:24 2022 No.18575857 >>18569769 >>18569771 >>18569779 Is that plate a prop from THEY LIVE?

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:28:26 2022 No.18575858 >>18571402 Quite the accomplishment to make bread look like overcooked chicke

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:29:24 2022 No.18575864 >>18570407 >I eventually found my niche I’m glad because it definitely isn’t anything related to food or cooking.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:30:19 2022 No.18575870 burnt a rabbit stew once. Tried to save some of it but the taste of rabbit + smokey burnt taste is strangely obscene.

Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:34:19 2022 No.18575886

>>18569771
>tofu
>fried w no seasoning
as seanigger that eat tofu as staples everyday, lemme told you that tofu taste shit if you don't season it / combine with other things.
the simple thing you could do just marinated it with salt water for couples hour before you fried it, so it don't taste like a fucking cardboard paste.

Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:36:48 2022 No.18575895
File: 40 KB, 310x427, 378C3FE7-BE39-40F2-9B6C-4E054F5671D6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>18575075
>When I was twelve
>my moms friend who was babysitting me
What, was he there to make sure you didn’t fidget with the straps on your helmet too much or have an accident in your pants?

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 13 23:37:25 2022 No.18575898 >>18568881 >wtf is that baked marzipan ( a special treat from Tyrol)

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 00:16:18 2022 No.18576042 File: 127 KB, 1376x774, Compress_20220529_120500_0738.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18575839 >>18575857 You mean this plate? Look! The fruit is smiling :)

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 00:21:59 2022 No.18576061 File: 93 KB, 1376x774, Compress_20221114_002016_6511.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18575849 >>18575864 How dare you insult my nutritional supremacy! I challenge you to fisticuffs...

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 00:23:11 2022 No.18576068 >>18576042 >>18576061 >see thumbnail for a split second Post hidden

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 00:56:21 2022 No.18576185 >>18569227 That'll happen if you let the bottom burn desu

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 01:15:43 2022 No.18576247 >>18568881 salt rock that they feed to horses

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 01:28:27 2022 No.18576291 File: 94 KB, 471x388, 1566465696457.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18569779 >steak (ruined) >honey >applesauce ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 01:45:32 2022 No.18576362 >>18574767 Death to janni trannies.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 01:46:12 2022 No.18576365 >>18570413 nice work anon :)

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 01:53:16 2022 No.18576394 >>18569779 i would eat your steak although it might take me a few hours

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 01:55:12 2022 No.18576400 >>18569769 >>18569771 >>18569779 It's always funny to me when people newer to cooking just give up after not even making a real attempt.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 02:32:05 2022 No.18576541 >>18575895 She. Despite insinuating my intelligence was subpar, it seems you still can't even read middle school level sentences. Maybe do your mother a favor and end it all. :)

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 02:38:06 2022 No.18576568 >>18575857 EITHER PUT ON THE GLASSES OR START EATING FROM THIS PLATE

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 02:43:19 2022 No.18576591 >>18568872 I added bacon to my bolognese sauce. What a fucking mistake

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 03:21:30 2022 No.18576722 >>18576541 This nigga got babysat when he was almost a literal teenager kek

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 03:32:53 2022 No.18576770 >>18569779 >>18569771 >>18569769 you are my favorite poster on this board i absolutely love the shitty plate i unironically love you anon

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 05:08:00 2022 No.18577062 >>18568872 i got stoned and made a jacks pizza and i set the oven to "clean" thinking it would be done in like three minutes but i forgot until the next morning and there was nothing at all except a little dusting of ash

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 05:10:17 2022 No.18577071 File: 6 KB, 249x250, thumbsup.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18577062

Anonymous Mon Nov 14 06:48:23 2022 No.18577375

Basically everything I actually cook at least tastes okay. I made meat buns recently and didn't make enough dough to cover all the meat I cooked so the last few ended up looking really ugly and falling apart when you picked them up but they still tasted great.
However
>drunk teenager, digging through parent's fridge for food at 3am after getting home from shenanigans
>pack of hotdogs, perfect
>assemble three tasty looking dogs with bun, wiener, ketchup, mustard, pickle slices, cheddar and mozzarella slices and some feta crumbles, basically everything I could find that didn't require preparation more advanced than a cutting board
>realize I didn't cook the hotdogs first
>don't want to disassemble my gourmet creations to get the wieners out
>really fucking hungry, looking forward to delicious hotdogs extremely hard
>just microwave it all for 2 minutes
>choke down two of them and throw out the third one

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 08:05:15 2022 No.18577552 >>18568872 I know that feel op, I know that feel

Anonymous Mon Nov 14 08:43:52 2022 No.18577641

Worse think I ever cooked was mashed potatoes.
A simple recipe, three ingredients butter or milk, potatoes and a bit of salt.
I was halfway through making it and it was a bit wet/sloppy so my retarded ass decided to add some flour because that was also white. God di it taste bad.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 10:06:07 2022 No.18577770 File: 96 KB, 1376x774, Compress_20221114_002841_1899.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18576770 I love you too fellow /ck/ anon. I will never give up my shitty plate. Or weird combinations. Ham and peanut butter anyone?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 10:12:11 2022 No.18577782 >>18577770 Fuck you and your ugly plates. Just get new ones

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 10:20:39 2022 No.18577795 File: 26 KB, 362x362, 70f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18569137

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 10:30:15 2022 No.18577801 >>18568872 banana bread. Looked just like that.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 10:31:10 2022 No.18577802 >>18568872 Man reminds me of my first attempt at sourdough bread. It was at least a bit less dense, but you could have still used it to club someone to death.

Anonymous Mon Nov 14 11:54:33 2022 No.18577898
File: 9 KB, 300x100, 203.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>18568872
Hot Pockets. Used to eat them while drunk. Never asked questions. Then I took one apart. Mostly industrial shit "bread" with less than an ounce of "filling". I could make something better with leftovers, cheese and bread.

>The "bread" in Hot Pockets can be pulled apart, it is in the form of A COFFIN.
>HOT POCKETS ARE COFFINS OF PROCESSED "FOOD".

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 12:29:16 2022 No.18577936 >>18568872 >that pic what in tardation

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 16:13:58 2022 No.18578434 >>18575051 Just watching this gave me a blood pressure spike. Also, going by hand color, I'm surprised it wasn't also cooked to leather.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 16:26:05 2022 No.18578465 >>18575787 YJK

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 16:27:13 2022 No.18578470 >>18575825 Fuck off you retarded bong you don't even know how to speak your own fucking language right.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 16:38:15 2022 No.18578498 >>18575886 >>18569771 Imagine getting btfo by an ESL seamonkey top kek

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 16:39:45 2022 No.18578500 >>18576061 >canadian bacon That actually explains quite a lot.

Anonymous Mon Nov 14 16:40:40 2022 No.18578503

>>18568872
I tried to make fried rice on pumpkin oil once. I tried to salvage it by adding water and reboiling the rice. Then I panicked and threw in an onion and some mushrooms while it was boiling and sealed the deal by throwing it all into the toilet.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 17:36:55 2022 No.18578666 >>18578503 >pumpkin oil not recommended for frying >Research suggests that pumpkin seed oil could help improve urinary tract health, enhance heart health, and increase hair growth. Why did you buy pumpkin oil anyways

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 17:57:33 2022 No.18578721 >>18568872 Sister once made cookies without flour

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 17:59:06 2022 No.18578728 >>18568881 Looks like bread with no yeast that someone tried to cook rare

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 19:11:54 2022 No.18578966 >>18569023 And the high never came?

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 19:35:47 2022 No.18579066 >>18578721 what did she use? I've heard of people using black beans as a flour alternative for some reason.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 21:45:58 2022 No.18579606 >>18579066 Nothing. She just forgot it completely

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 22:06:48 2022 No.18579706 >>18568872 I'm literally retarded and even I know to check if the yeast is still alive before using it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 22:28:22 2022 No.18579783 >>18577898 >pic What is it? I've always been afraid to do it

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 14 22:29:58 2022 No.18579787 >>18568872 Duck breast I pan fried without putting in the oven after. Was inedible.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 15 01:28:13 2022 No.18580652 >>18578500 Im in Scotland tho...

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 15 01:57:37 2022 No.18580756 Mayo. I tried thrice and every time it was so nasty shit.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 15 02:03:14 2022 No.18580769 >>18571023 That dude eats dog food, what did you expect?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 15 02:20:55 2022 No.18580838 >>18568872 I was seventeen and found a recipe for chocolate ramen on 4chan, and after having made a rainbow brownie recipe also found here that was delicious I thought the ramen might be a good idea. It was not.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 15 06:20:02 2022 No.18581425 >>18570343 Where did you go to high school? Prison?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 15 21:38:20 2022 No.18583129 >>18568872 Mixed prefab lobster bisque into a tomato/meat sauce I thought it would give it an interesting undertone It cut through everything and tasted A LOT OF SEAFOOD

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 15 21:43:37 2022 No.18583162 >>18568872 I made barbecue ramen once out of ramen and Sweet Baby Ray's it had the consistency of flu snot

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 15 21:46:43 2022 No.18583173 >>18568872 I tried making angel cake from a recipe once. I guess I put in too much cream of tartar or whatever and it ended up tasting very metallic.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 15 22:29:39 2022 No.18583319 >>18568872 I made oatmeal with chicken stock. Felt it was lacking something so I threw in some frozen corn after cooking. That was not a good meal.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 15 22:33:45 2022 No.18583333 >>18580652 Americans have trouble comprehending that there is a world outside of NA.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 16 02:20:25 2022 No.18584193 >>18568872 Nettle soup. Never again. Just no.

Anonymous Wed Nov 16 04:55:29 2022 No.18584644

>>18568872
not the worst thing I've ever made as there have been a few dishes I've completely bailed on and just gotten mcdonalds instead, but tonight I made the worst jambalaya I've ever made.

first, the store didn't have the andouille I typically get, which is actually pretty good. instead I got the zatarains andouille, which is god awful. the chicken also wasn't my normal kind either and it weirdly had a lot of fat on it. then for reasons I'm still not sure about there was a lot more liquid in the pan during the cook than normal so it took longer. in hindsight I probably should've just pulled it earlier, but I kept it cooking longer to cook off the liquid.

this led to a very mushy jambalaya with disgusting sausage. I ended up just picking out the sausage and eating the mushy jambalaya with chicken. just awful. I'm not a great cook but I'm really not a bad one either, this one was a stinker. jambalaya is so easy and I feel like a tard for making it so bad. I'm dreading eating the leftovers

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 16 04:57:29 2022 No.18584650 I tried cooking pork hock in a sous vide once and the bag ended up leaking over night. The shit was outright foul straight up inedible. I did everything I could to salvage it but nothing worked.

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/ck/ - Food & Cooking