Drunk Cuisine

[Anonymous No.18565802]

What's your favorite way to cook while wasted? Personally I don't trust myself to use a stovetop while under the influence so all cooking is confined to the microwave. A good foodhack is just putting cheese on bread and zapping it for 20 seconds.

[Anonymous No.18565808]

>>18565802
>I don't trust myself to use a stovetop while under the influence
Fag. I do my best cooking after 6 shots of vodka

[Anonymous No.18565812]

>>18565808
I'm not renting so if the house burns down I'm the one who's fucked.

[Anonymous No.18565817]

>>18565802
Some yogurt, granola, walnuts, strawberries and blue berries.

[Anonymous No.18565820]

>>18565812
Why would the house burn down?
Are you 8 years old?

[Anonymous No.18565822]

>>18565817
I don't want sweet stuff when I'm drunk, I want salt and fat.

[Anonymous No.18565825]

>>18565820
I might forget to turn off a burner, I probably won't but it's not worth the risk.

[Anonymous No.18565827]

>>18565802
usually I make pizza when booze starts to kick in, I eat 1/4 and eat rest when I'm done drinking or next morning.

[Anonymous No.18565837]

Whatever was leftover from dinner.

[Anonymous No.18565846]

>>18565822
Add some honey then.

[Anonymous No.18566413]

>>18565825
How is not turning off the burner going to burn the house down? Your stove is made of metal, isn't it? They are designed to be fireproof, that's kind of the fucking point.

[Anonymous No.18566475]

>>18565802
I don't know what these are called in english, but I do tend to make these quite often, as it is a very simple food and you can vary the toppings into your liking or what you have available or just use plain cheese version.
I also make the whole oven tray full in order to maximize the profit and the effort, as these are still edible days after making ranging from fridge cold to re-heated.
>Slice of bread
>Tomato ketchup or tomato sauce to coat the top
>Dried oregano and coarsely ground black pepper
>Cheese
>Pepperoni slices
>Pickled jalapeno slices
>Canned pineapple in small bits
>Thinly sliced red onion
>Top with more cheese
Bake in the middle of the oven at 225c degree for about 8-10 minutes until the cheese melts and takes some nice color.
Usually my toppings vary and I make more than one type of bread so I don't have to eat 9 slices of bread of the same taste. I also add some chili sauce after they've come out of the oven, and because I'm a such huge fatass, I also add some flavoured mayonnaise on top such as chili mayonnaise or garlic one.

I'm pretty confident to do nearly any type of cooking while wasted, but I tend to do those which are not very healthy, which most of them contain alot of cheese and grease. I've only burned two frozen pizzas while drinking so I'm not too worried about cooking. Also eating is much more fun while you're blasted and drinking much more better while you're eating.

[Anonymous No.18566728]

>>18565802
i don't drink.

you're right to avoid some types of cooking while drunk.

[Anonymous No.18566736]

I used to hard boil all the eggs in my fridge when I would get hungry when drunk so that way I would have a hard boiled egg snack for now and in the morning when I was hung over

[Anonymous No.18566796]

>>18566736
I can't peel eggs always screw it up and ruin the egg

[Anonymous No.18566819]

>>18566796
I can understand soft boiled but how the fuck do you mess up peeling a hard boiled egg?

[Anonymous No.18566835]

>>18565802
I won't do any knifework when wasted, but if I do prep in advance then I don't mind any kind of cooking. I particularly like making stew this way: I start drinking during prep and by the time it's ready to eat I'm drunk and hungry as fuck.

Drunk or high I just make sure to put a timer on for everything I'm doing, unless I'm grilling outside in which case I'm always paying attention.

[Anonymous No.18566844]

>>18566819
always have little ugly dimples on them, never look pristine

[Anonymous No.18566853]

>>18565812

Friend of mine tried to oven a pizza when he came home after a night drinking. Went to bed and fell asleep. Roommate woke up to the fire alarm and smoke all over the kitchen. Pizza was charcoal but luckily he didn't burn the place down. Can't imagine that convo the morning after.

[Anonymous No.18566953]

>>18565802
I made Shakshuka a few days ago while drunk.
While putting in the chili seasonin I stumbled and a whole lot came out. I ate it still, but my mouth was burning. I didn't wanna waste it.

[Anonymous No.18568073]

>>18565802
Any anglo dish, picrel.

[Anonymous No.18568413]

I used to like pouring half a tallboy of PBR in my sausage gravy so I could drink the other half while it cooked. They sold em in 4 packs so was a great excuse to have another tallboy to go with breakfast and I'd drink the other 2 afterward to "clean up". I'd fall asleep by 1130 and wake back up to drink Coors the rest of the night around 430.

[Anonymous No.18568559]

Guac toast. I make it when I'm drunk or high. Really simple from top to bottom it goes:
>guac
>cheese slice
>toast slice
Salty, fatty, hits the spot and puts me to sleep.

[Anonymous No.18568573]

>>18568073
>actually dissing fairy bread and crisp sandwiches
lmao you guys are great. i understand the crisp sandwich joke but jesus wept you're thick as shit

[Anonymous No.18568604]

last drunk dinner I did was breaded chicken cutlets with spaghetti, not quite chicken parm since I didn’t bake any sauce or cheese on them and I did half of the pasta with pesto and half red sauce. still very tasty for a fat fuck

[Anonymous No.18568631]

>>18565802
Based microwave cheese melter. I do the same except on crackers.
Protip: there's enough fat in pepperoni that it cooks exactly the same in the microwave as in a pan or oven.

[Anonymous No.18568635]

[Anonymous No.18568637]

>>18566413
Slovenly people tend to have shit piled up everywhere, even around the stove top.
>burner left on
>eventually something next to the stove heats up enough to slightly deform
>falls into burner
>ignites, spreads to other piled up shit

[Anonymous No.18568643]

I like making wraps. I get rotisserie chicken and rip chunks off of it, microwave that on a plate with shredded cheese on top. Then put it on a tortilla with some baby spinach, olives, feta, and greek vinaigrette dressing. Easy, quick, and tasty while drunk.

[Anonymous No.18568649]

>>18565808
*respectful nod*
The best dishes I've ever made to bring to an event was at 4am the night before and legitimately could barely even remember making

[Anonymous No.18568660]

>>18568649
Pic related. Baked ziti

[Anonymous No.18568664]

>>18568660
fuck off anti gravity fag

[Anonymous No.18568671]

>>18568573
Don't pretend this shit doesn't actually go on in anglo countries, inc. the United States. Sliced bread has been a disaster for the anglo cuisine. It's designed to have the least amount of flavor out of any bread so we can do shit like this.

[Anonymous No.18568680]

>>18565802
you must be teenager, at least put a slice of bologna on it you idiot

[Anonymous No.18568681]

>>18568671
it doesnt?
the fairy bread is just shortbread with icing and sprinkles, the other 3 are obvious memes

[Anonymous No.18568682]

>>18568664
Your mom loves getting fucked on the ceiling

[Anonymous No.18568689]

>>18568682
there is no ceiling
gamers broke it

[Anonymous No.18568703]

>>18566475
This sounds fucking amazing. Thank you Finnanon.

[Anonymous No.18568722]

>>18566475
this sounds disgusting, I realize you have to eat this cuz maybe little options but that sounds nasty

[Anonymous No.18568729]

In college I tried to reheat a pizza from earlier in the night while shit faced so I cranked to dorm oven and threw the entire pizza box in and then proceeded to rip a bong and forget about it entirely, and an hour later when the fire trucks showed up I was belligerently yelling at the crowd of people to be more fuckin careful because I couldn't go to bed thanks to the fire

[Anonymous No.18568756]

>>18568681
Fairy bread is sliced bread. Water sandwich is the only photoshopped Wiki entry. There are horrors going on with sliced bread going on in anglo countries that OP may feel inspired by in his drunkenness.

[Anonymous No.18568781]

>>18568681
>Obvious memes
Crisp sandwiches, especially with cheese, are delicious and eaten regularly in the British isles. When I was in school all the local delis did crisp baguettes, it was like a huge craze for a few years. That died off but crisp sandwiches are still common

[Anonymous No.18569039]

>>18566475
I'm just more impressed you managed to type that without ESLing hard with some shit like "I don't know HOW its called in english". So many ESLs do that shit.

>How is this called in english?
>How does it taste like?

ESLs abusing the word " how" makes me FUCKING sick.

[Anonymous No.18569287]

>>18568073
>my brothers used to dip bread in vinegar and eat it
I was psyopd as a kid into doing it as well

[Anonymous No.18569344]

101 Ways to Use Bacon Grease
by Anon McAnonymous

Chapter One
Step One:
Fry bacon in skillet
Step Two:
Remove bacon.
Step Three:
Toss whatever you think would taste better if fried in bacon grease.
Step Four:
Apply burn ointment to grease burns after knocking the skillet on yourself.
Step the Fifth:
Eat whatever you fried.
>>18566796
Put them in while the water is still cold or use the spoon trick.
>grab soft boiled in hand, pointy side up
>take a spoon and tap the point bit until it's cracked all to hell
>take the spoon and "scoop" out the egg
It should still be mostly attached to the membrane and come off in big chunks. Other than that, I dunno what to tell you.

[Anonymous No.18569476]

>>18565820
Don't be retarded. There are countless cases of fires started because someone got drunk and forgot some shit in the oven or on the stove.

[Anonymous No.18569482]

A chili dog..

[Anonymous No.18569520]

>>18565802
>Personally I don't trust myself to use a stovetop while under the influence
You'd never make it as a chef

[Anonymous No.18569542]

>>18566736
I do the same also boiled potatoes straight from the fridge is good

[Anonymous No.18569549]

>>18568073
how is the water sandwich so low in calories. also if you want the most anglo food then milk toast is it. my mom said the doctor told my grandma to feed her toast dipped in milk when she was sick and he mom always made her eat it when she was sick

[Anonymous No.18569551]

>>18565802
i don't drunk cook as much anymore. shit is a guilty pleasure of my own oneitis

[Anonymous No.18569552]

>>18569039
>accelerated repair of flaws in language due to mass usage leading to optimal consensus
>"THIS MAKES ME SICK"
Your past is irrelevant. Subconsciously understanding this is what's causing your upset.

[Anonymous No.18569555]

>>18565802
Hot ham and cheese sandwich with applesauce on the bread

[Anonymous No.18569557]

>>18569552
What is the flaw? Just curious.

[Anonymous No.18569566]

>not just putting a mountain of shredded reduced fat cheddar on a plate
>2 minutes in the 'wave to make a crunchy cheese pancake

[Anonymous No.18569576]

>>18565802
The last few times i have cooked drunk i tried to cut an onion and cut myself, im trying to avoid handling knives while drunk now for my own safety.

[Anonymous No.18569630]

>>18569576
You lack training

[Anonymous No.18570076]

>>18569344
protip; use water and start from cold to pull out a lot of the grease.

[Anonymous No.18570217]

>>18565808
Same. It's so much more fun too

[Anonymous No.18570287]

>>18569576
soberfag. my default drunk food are baked cheese ham toasts, with mayo & sriracha + pickles / stuffed olives / capers. ive been using a deli slicer for three years now, not one drunk cut. neither did i ever burn my hands in over ten years of drunk frozen pizza and sandwiches.
and i normally make them at least at 300ml into the weekly 2 vodka bottles.

[Anonymous No.18570294]

>>18568660
It’s got 20 hours left don’t pull it early you DICK

[Anonymous No.18570338]

>>18568073
a crisp sandwich is class

[Anonymous No.18570406]

>>18569549
>milquetoast

[Anonymous No.18571643]

>>18565802
I make really basic quesadillas. Just a ton of butter, a tortilla, and cheese. Usually add hot sauce after. I like to cook both sides in the butter before adding the cheese and folding it.

[Anonymous No.18571646]

[Anonymous No.18571971]

>>18565802
When I'm high it's always pasta. Today homemade pesto

[Anonymous No.18573847]

>>18565808
6 shots of vodka and I'm barely tipsy bossmang

[Anonymous No.18573851]

i pop a jack’s frozen supreme pizza in the oven and wa la, delicious pizz in about 13 minutes. drown in hot sauce and a little ranch on the side for dipping

[Anonymous No.18573873]

>>18565802
>foodhack

[Anonymous No.18573898]

>>18565817
You can just say trail mix, you know HAHA

[Anonymous No.18573902]

>>18565802
>turn on toaster oven and then forget about it for an hour

[Anonymous No.18573906]

>>18573847
>his Bmi is driving speed in kmh
HAHA

[Anonymous No.18573908]

>>18573873
I stopped seeing reddit everywhere when I got off that site anon you should try it too

[Anonymous No.18573923]

>>18573908
You’ve got to go back.

[Anonymous No.18575174]

>>18573873
>he doesn't know the "lifehack" meme that spawned all other "hacks" originated here
that's a big yikes from me, my guy

[Anonymous No.18575558]

>>18568073
chip sandwich ain't so fuckin funny when you MAKE A TURKEY SANDWICH AND PUT THE CHIPS ON THAT. NOT SO FUNNY NOW, TOUGH GUY

[Anonymous No.18575734]

Bowl of leftover rice/pasta
Pull up half of the rice/pasta with my hand
Put some cheddar cheese on top and then replace rice/pasta on top of the cheddar cheese
Put some more cheddar cheese on top and then grate a ton of Parmesan cheese on top of the cheddar cheese
Microwave on high for 4-5 minutes until the fat has separated and the cheese on top is dried out

[Anonymous No.18575758]

>>18565802
Like all great chefs, I’m at least buzzed if not outright drunk when I cook