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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

File: 215 KB, 1200x979, sunfish.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Fish thread Anonymous Mon Sep 12 00:09:59 2022 No.18344636 [Reply] [Original]

wot it taste like

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 00:24:09 2022 No.18344673 >>18344636 A bit sus.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 00:36:53 2022 No.18344705 >>18344673 thank you

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 00:42:02 2022 No.18344712 a baby whale

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 00:52:18 2022 No.18344731 >>18344636 Penis pot pie.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 01:31:36 2022 No.18344882 Oh fuck man that thing looks hurt bro.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 02:01:58 2022 No.18344974 >>18344636 Mola mola eat jellyfish and are filled with parasites, so probably either like shit or nothing

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 03:08:21 2022 No.18345181 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJJn-l3GZdQ&t=27s

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 03:25:32 2022 No.18345252 >>18344636 you laugh but post-neolithic humans are going to look like this to the future inhabitants of earth

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 03:29:10 2022 No.18345260 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_VFDFnuS5M

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 08:10:38 2022 No.18345920 >>18345260 Thats a moonfish you fucking retard

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 14:58:09 2022 No.18346630 >>18345181 noooooo

Anonymous Mon Sep 12 15:42:19 2022 No.18346757

>>18344636
THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world's largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn't put them where they need to fucking go.

Anonymous Mon Sep 12 15:43:21 2022 No.18346761

>>18346757
So they don't have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it'll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it's basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons.

"If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators." No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

Anonymous Mon Sep 12 15:44:22 2022 No.18346766

>>18346761
They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it's so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) "Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!" Do not let that expression fool you, they just don't have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them.

"Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us." Yes, thank you. "But if they're so bad at literally everything, why haven't they gone extinct." Great question.

Anonymous Mon Sep 12 15:45:29 2022 No.18346773

>>18346766
BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT'S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that'll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY.

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it and fuck it in that dumb open mouth.

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 18:05:01 2022 No.18347238 >>18344636 Urea Just eat an opah

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 18:21:20 2022 No.18347286 >>18345181 That was interdasting, doesn't look too appetising though

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 18:34:02 2022 No.18347318 >>18346766 So it's basically a sea american?

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 20:54:34 2022 No.18347720 >>18346761 >continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean thank you anon. i needed that chuckle

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 21:52:00 2022 No.18347946 File: 288 KB, 1908x1146, 2ACD7C8A00000578-0-image-a-41_1437754349465.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] chomp

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 22:43:01 2022 No.18348115 >>18345181 unintentional ASMR

>>	Anonymous Mon Sep 12 23:37:15 2022 No.18348266 >>18347946 That dumb bastard doesn't even know he's being eaten.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 13 04:21:24 2022 No.18349150 >>18348115 The slicing of the flesh is really quite relaxing

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 13 04:41:08 2022 No.18349206 >>18346757 >>18346761 >>18346766 >>18346773 SUNFISH ARE PRECIOUS LITTLE CUTES AND I WILL NOT HEAR YOU SPEAK ILL OF THEM FIGHT ME BITCH

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 13 09:35:00 2022 No.18349780 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYUgduOeXuA

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 13 09:39:43 2022 No.18349793 >>18347286 You might not really like meat.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 13 09:50:22 2022 No.18349817 >>18347946 Is he ok?

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 13 10:01:37 2022 No.18349839 >>18346757 This fish sounds based. The little retard that could. It shows survivability is possible once you trial off eugenics far enough. It's the yin of nature.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 13 10:57:22 2022 No.18349939 >>18346773 I knew I saved this for a reason. https://imgur.com/gallery/MMRg9

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 13 16:30:25 2022 No.18350619 >>18349793 i like meat, the "meat" of this fish appears to be a mess of leather, cartilage and gelatin.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 13 16:35:07 2022 No.18350628 >>18349793 Fish is not meat, they have no feelings or pain receptors.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 13 16:44:32 2022 No.18350655 >>18349939 This really doesn't address any of the information in the copypasta which the writer claimed as being full of lies.

>>	Anonymous Tue Sep 13 17:04:09 2022 No.18350691 >>18349817 he'll be fine

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 00:35:36 2022 No.18351947 File: 226 KB, 526x461, 1429768235442.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>18347946 I think for me, one of my top 3 horrors is being eaten while I'm still alive. Fucking kill me first, jeez

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 00:41:24 2022 No.18351966 >>18351947 Not into vore?

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 00:57:06 2022 No.18352032 >>18351966 No way

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 01:26:03 2022 No.18352118 >>18350628 what fucked up definition of meat are you using that mentions feelings or pain receptors

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 01:29:04 2022 No.18352131 >>18350655 >fish is useless and makes no sense! >>actually fish makes lots of sense and is efficient You don’t need a point to point refutation when you refute the entire argument.

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 01:34:20 2022 No.18352153 >>18345181 >a ton of gelatin/collagen wouldn't taste like anything but I could save money on glycine sup. at least

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 01:39:59 2022 No.18352179 >>18347946 Is that fucker distorting reality

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 01:41:05 2022 No.18352185 >>18344712 >>18344882 lmao

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 09:05:23 2022 No.18353340 HO LEE SHIT

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 09:29:36 2022 No.18353384 >>18345181 Damn, its just a fat piece of lard floating in the ocean

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 19:25:43 2022 No.18354679 >>18344974 or jelly

Anonymous Wed Sep 14 19:32:36 2022 No.18354703
File: 688 KB, 2370x2714, Ocean sunfish.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>18344636
They are actually overfished near the Chinese coast. The flesh is kind of thin-tasting and watery, but their organs are used for various recipes, especially their large rubbery intestinal tracts, their huge eyes, and their fat/blubber. The regional term is 'Mambo fish/Manbo fish.' (曼波鱼).

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 21:03:17 2022 No.18354973 >>18345181 very weird it seems to have pockets of jelly inside its body

>>	Anonymous Wed Sep 14 21:54:27 2022 No.18355080 >>18354973 That's blubber. It is used like butter/lard for various recipes in Korea/China/Taiwan.

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