/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.18015017]

Why is the bar so low for online recipes?

90% are giant blog posts from stupid white women, about a third don't list quantities properly and most fail to specify exact yields.

Many aren't in metric, why the fuck would a French recipe be given in American measurements?
Is it so fucking hard to provide both?

Why is the internet flooded with websites from nobodies who's only qualification is having gamed Google's search algorithms?

[Anonymous No.18015024]

>>18015017
>Why is the bar so low for online recipes? don't list quantities properly and most fail to specify exact yields
you are expecting chemistry methods from people who didn't go to college/went for a non-stem degree
>Is it so fucking hard to provide both?
intended audience. learn to convert or just move on

[Anonymous No.18015075]

>>18015017
Dude, take this from a guy who was in his very early teens when dial-up was still a thing; the internet, especially early on, used to be a platform to share information, actually decent information. Now that everyone has access to it, especially bored white stay-at-home/single mothers, everyone now has a platform to share their every thought. The abovementioned have nothing to do except talk about their kids, hubby, and their extracurricular bullshit.
The internet is now packed with bored people, or people with far too much time on their hands. What do you really expect? Recipes aren't rocket science. Everyone has recipes that they believe are some god's gift to the masses.
I know, it sucks balls.
>t. long-time career cook who hates sifting through mommy blog posts to find recipes outside of his repetoir

[Anonymous No.18015092]

>>18015017
you sound like a total retard, kys

[Anonymous No.18015094]

3 reasons:
>search engine optimization makes dogshit ad-ridden blogs the top results
>they pad the fuck out of the page and hide the recipe at the very end to force you to scroll through a million ads
>you want quality for free but aren't willing to pay for a cook book from a trusted expert

thus life will be nothing but ads for you

[Anonymous No.18015099]

You scavenge through them. Suffer through a kenji video. Take bits and pieces that work for what tools you have. Write down additional things to try. Use volume ratios to figure out reasonable gram weights. Figure out techniques you like (dry brine for example) and just use them when it makes sense. Also use the cookbooks mega
https://mega.nz/folder/VrgHmQTT#HEXDgmzBWRgSt-_M4hZhiA

[Anonymous No.18015105]

>>18015075
I'm in the same boat man, lowest common denominator content, advertisers burying legit sources.

If it works and is free; it's getting buried

[Anonymous No.18015114]

>>18015094
I really almost entirely on hard copy books because it filters the retards to a certain extent.

But I'm frustrated that simple information people (like myself) contribute gets buried.

Even if you don't use Google search, websites all seem to opt into Google web services that give much the same result

[Anonymous No.18015126]

>>18015017
>Everyone loves my potato salad anon. My cat Fifi raves about it, she speaks a magic language that I understand you see.... grandmother taught me this recipe back in 1987, did I ever tell you about the time she took me to Disneyland?
>Blog continues for another 27 paragraphs...
>Finally at the bottom of the page, there's the recipe, full of typos, and hastily thrown together

[Anonymous No.18015132]

>>18015075
they all have the same aesthetic too.
'[object] && [object]' or 'The [random word, sometimes a verb, sometimes a noun] Momma'
They are all MOMMA
bitch I bet your own kids dont call you that

[Anonymous No.18015135]

>>18015099
On the ratio thing there's a very specific issue; not all weight/ volumes are interchangeable.

Not giving both metric and imperial is just lazy on the author's part, but the volume issue is far more serious.

Today I'm pickling and you basically make the pickling liquid at a linear ratio then use as much as needed to cover the vegetables.
But if I listened to these retards online and made everything relative to the weight of the vegetables I'd end up with way to much brine and if I bottled it like that the osmotic pressure would give me foul saline pickles.

I'm at the serious end of cooking and I'm sick of the flood of retards giving incorrect and frustrating advice.

I'm making my own pectin this week from lemon pulp to lower the cost of my jam, relevant because I'm making literally hundreds of bottles

[Anonymous No.18015136]

>>18015094
>"quality for free'
it's not fucking quality. it's never a quality site and I dont want to pay for a recipe that claims you can only make _____ with baking powder and baking soda, because it would never work with yeast.
I want recipes from enthusiasts, bruh

[Anonymous No.18015141]

>>18015136
This.
I'll tell you for free but we just get yelled over by Karen who uses pre made sauces, sells the sauce as an affiliate link and rides the Googledragon

[Anonymous No.18015145]

>>18015017
Imperial measurements don't bother me, but what does bother me is that every single person who uses imperial measurements seems to use completely inappropriate measurement types i.e. volumetric measurements where it should be weight or vice versa. What the fuck is "half a cup of basil"? That measurement is completely different depending on the size of the leaves, how compressed they are, if they're chopped, etc. Or often it's weight measurements where just free-handed or even unitary measurements would do. Fifteen grams of chopped garlic? Just fucking say 3 cloves. And usually they're all used in retarded combinations within the same recipe. Usually I ignore that shit and just use the recipe as a rough guide but it annoys me that people even think that way.

[Anonymous No.18015149]

>>18015094
>you want quality for free
But the internet used to have this, and still does to an extent, it's just now submerged within piles of liquid dogshit.

[Anonymous No.18015155]

>>18015145
This.
I just got a "cup" of radish.
I get syrups where the quantities are given in cups, fucking why? I just start with a litter of water and add sugar until it weighs the right amount.

Spices especially shit me because they are qualitative.
If you've got shit spice you generally just use more of it.
I've ruined more than one dish because of weight measurements of anise, cardamom or cinnamon.

Metric people don't have these problems, I don't know why but it's always Americans who fuck up

[Anonymous No.18015303]

>look up recipe
>have to scroll through some pms-roasties life story to get there
by allah they will taste my shoe

[Anonymous No.18015594]

>>18015017
>90% are giant blog posts from stupid white women
this would be true if it wasn't just an ai cooking up webpages.

in all honesty though, people that went to school for journalism are warped.
they think everything requires spin becuase it's what they're taught.
they literally cannot grasp the concept of just have a large catalog of information to choose from.
they think card catalogs or the dewey decimal system should have spin.

they're just that fucking stupid.

[Anonymous No.18015598]

>>18015094
>book
ok, grandpa.

[Anonymous No.18015626]

Every single one I've found so far has a Jump To Recipe button

[Anonymous No.18015656]

>>18015626
i wish this post had a jump to the good part button

[Anonymous No.18015661]

>>18015656
I wish you had a jump off the building button

[Anonymous No.18015679]

>>18015661
I do would you like to borrow it?

[Anonymous No.18015779]

>>18015017
>I'm a retarded antiwhite shitskin and don't know how to find a good recipe website

[Anonymous No.18016038]

Is there anyone that does videos like kenji with no/minimal talking and just annotations on screen? He talks too much.

[Anonymous No.18016046]

>Be me
>Looking for Vindaloo recipe
>It's written by a man
>Glances over the origin of Vindaloo
>Gives recipe
>Mentions how he likes it quite hot so maybe dial back on the chilli if you're a heatlet
>After the recipe mentions a few things you can add to make dish better, specifically fresh herbs

[Anonymous No.18016118]

>>18016046
>It's written by a man
umm no sweaty it's 2022 you shouldn't be supporting recipes written by men

[Anonymous No.18016121]

I just follow books and bbc good food.

[Anonymous No.18016144]

>>18015017
I keep hearing about these blog posts, but whenever I search online the results I get are usually from big cooking websites. Never blogs.

[Anonymous No.18016155]

>>18015145
I had this exact problem trying to find a recipe for pesto genovese. Every single recipe listed basil as cups or something even more vague like bunches or handfuls. Only recipe that was usable at all was in the description of a Pasta Grannies video.

[Anonymous No.18016193]

>>18016155
>cup of basil
whats wrong with that it's accurate enough

[Anonymous No.18016272]

>>18015135
>I'm at the serious end of cooking and I'm sick of the flood of retards giving incorrect and frustrating advice.
I think a lot of (it not all) industries suffer the same thing. But IMO cooking is the worst hit of them all, cuz we all gotta eat food and no one needs a degree or anything, so that brings literally the entire population out to go "me too" and make their own garbage.

There's a book called "the science of cooking" (pic related) that I learned a good amount from. Like soaking dry beans for 8+ hours is the biggest load of bull shit and is parroted to levels beyond belief like some rampant pandemic. According to that book, most beans only need to be soaked a few hours tops. I tried it a few times, it works. Thanks to that book, I learned how to make brown rice good with just a pan and its lid (no special tools like pressure/rice cooker). Any time I have any questions, I look it up in this book before I ever even think of looking up in Google

[Anonymous No.18016298]

>>18016272
>needing a book to cook a pot of rice
...

[Anonymous No.18016310]

>>18016298
if you could read and use a little critical thinking (try it some time it's not hard) you'd see that I can make rice but following the tips from the book (and not garbage online) made it turn out perfect.

[Anonymous No.18016314]

Are Europeans so fucking braindead they just shit and piss themselves when confronted with anything not metric?
Do they not have one of these?
Do they not have even the smallest amount of critical thinking?

[Anonymous No.18016320]

>>18016310
>needing a book to cook perfect rice
do you also need a book to cook perfect pasta and toast?

[Anonymous No.18016347]

>>18016320
Yes

[Anonymous No.18016352]

>>18015017
>>18015135
i have recipe books from the 1970s with conversion charts for cooks to memorize so they can easily adjust between systems of measurements, that's one option. another would be just getting a second set of spoons and a dual print measuring cup.

>>18016314
this is exactly what happens to the metricated brain, yes, it becomes totally calcified and serotonergic and you see it every day on here

[Anonymous No.18016353]

>>18016347
understandable then, have a nice day

[Anonymous No.18016368]

>>18016272
Nice I'll give it (and his spice book) a read
http://libgen.rs/search.php?req=Stuart+Farrimond&column=author

[Anonymous No.18016369]

>>18016314
Yes. If it's not in metric measures it's not worth cooking it anyways.

[Anonymous No.18016383]

>>18016320
yea and to boil water. Could never figure out how, the recipe is burried under all the ads

[Anonymous No.18016387]

>>18016369
Every day I wake up and thank God I was born american, holy shit.

[Anonymous No.18016415]

>>18015017
Same reason why the internet as a whole starting going to shit 20 years ago. Everyone can access it. Stupid people like to talk a lot. Nearly every stupid person has at least a smartphone to access the internet with now.
The internet used to be much smaller and typically full of nerds that usually knew what they wete talking about. Now it's too accessible and any retard can post some of the most absolute dumbest shit anyone could possibly dream of and hordes of other retards will praise them for it.

People should require a license to use the internet. One that requires some sort of aptitude test.

[Anonymous No.18016431]

>>18016272
I like this guy's books. Food science oriented ones are helpful for understanding how to wing it and make your own recipes. You really should get a rice cooker if you want to make good rice though.

[Anonymous No.18016467]

>>18015017
>try to get a /ck/ sticky going
>it'd have recipes, show recommendations, etc
>get a warning from mods for going off-topic

i hate this place

[Anonymous No.18016530]

Nigga the actual recipe is at the bottom of the page. Don’t ask why there’s a fucking essay for the first 90% of the thing, you just have to scroll to the bottom.

[Anonymous No.18016547]

My favorite recipe (for some random baked food) was some lady going on a schizo rant about her neighbor calling in noise complaints and how she started doing audio recordings to show the landlord. Went on and on then ended with the recipe and had no comments.

[Anonymous No.18016552]

>>18015075
/thread
the iphone/ ipad ruined the internet
in the 90s if you used the internet for anything other than AIM everyone thought you were doing something illegal
now there are literal 5 year olds with ipads posting on /b/

[Anonymous No.18016584]

>>18016552
>AIM
ahhhhh setting up your profile page and putting in that script that had the guestbook function

[Anonymous No.18016598]

>>18016467
>try to get a /ck/ sticky going
there's always one fag every week for the last fifteen years
we don't have a sticky because nobody can agree what should be there

[Anonymous No.18016607]

>google "[dish name] serious eats"
>order dominos if its not on there

[Anonymous No.18016658]

>>18015094
So why don't we just bomb google to free the internet from its stranglehold? It's too late to do that for the country, but maybe the internet can still be saved?

[Anonymous No.18016716]

>>18016607
This, except with allrecipes

[Anonymous No.18016788]

>>18016598
so we cant get a thread to develop this said mutual agreement?

[Anonymous No.18016829]

>>18015017
>>18015126
>a book chapter worth of text
>I was 5 when I had my first meal
>describes restaurant atmosphere
>"muh feelings!" of first eating dish
>describes what food looks like
>"oh and my friend made it then one time..."
Lately I've stuck to going through my mom's old cook books for recipes just to cut down on all the bullshit

[Anonymous No.18016864]

>>18016788
what fantasy world do you live in where everyone is just going to mutually agree on something. Especially in cooking where tastes differ from person to person

[Anonymous No.18016959]

Continental Europeans don't care about international (American) attention for their regional gastronomy. Japs couldn't care less either.

So you're stuck with mom's net. Good luck.

[Anonymous No.18016963]

>>18016864
>it's hard so we shouldn't try
This is why you still live with your parents.

[Anonymous No.18016978]

>>18016963
I would actively try to derail the thread, and inherently disagree with anything and everything. I know I'm not alone in that

[Anonymous No.18016990]

>>18016978
You're not. I like to play both sides to make everyone look retarded so the thread devolves into chaos. Works every time, people are too sensitive/autistic to just ignore obvious bait.

[Anonymous No.18016995]

>>18016387
>God
Americans are hilarious.

[Anonymous No.18017088]

>>18016864
you're implying that other boards that have a sticky never came to a majority user consensus and we'd be no different

[Anonymous No.18017093]

>>18016387
based. no open up your bussy for your daily bbc pounding

[Anonymous No.18017094]

>>18016978
>>18016990
Again, this is why you will never leave your parents' house.

[Anonymous No.18017115]

>>18017094
I have a wife and kid retard. Been shitposting since before you could form a full sentence and I will never ever stop

[Anonymous No.18017117]

>>18015017
>90% are giant blog posts from stupid white women
Google favors blogpost recipes in their ranking algorithm so everyone has to write this stupid lead in before getting to the recipe.

[Anonymous No.18017123]

>>18017094
Stay mad, loser. My wife chuckles at my antics.

[Anonymous No.18017129]

>>18015017
remember when we made a recipie booru to counter this very problem and then people forgot about it I guess? I remember.
https://ck.booru.org/

[Anonymous No.18017132]

>>18015017
>Why is the internet flooded with websites from nobodies who's only qualification is having gamed Google's search algorithms?
It's hard to come up with an analogy to mock this sentence because you're just so fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.18017133]

I legit think 75% of the internet is copy-pasted or AI generated content.

[Anonymous No.18017178]

>>18017115
>>18017123
Actually, I'm head of the FBI and I'm sending ATF deathsquads to your houses right now for crimes against 4chinz. They're all black and haven't bred for weeks too ;)

[Anonymous No.18017208]

>>18017129
there should be a sticky for this
ive been here for a decade and never heard about this wtf

[Anonymous No.18017214]

>>18017208
this happens to every booru ever made

[Anonymous No.18017228]

>>18015017
>Why is the internet flooded with websites from nobodies who's only qualification is having gamed Google's search algorithms?
You answered your own question. Gaming the search algorithms makes M O N E Y.

It doesn't matter if my recipe is good. All I have to do is write "THE WORLD'S BEST MAC & CHEESE RECIPE" and then write a 1500 word essay using "worlds best mac & cheese recipe" at least 5-10 times.

You click on it because you're not going to do the work to find the actual best recipe and then I get the ad sense revenue and have the justification to make another recipe post.

[Anonymous No.18017408]

>>18015017
I saw this thread a while back and meant to say, your whole concept is backwards. The online recipe articles that seem to be the worst offenders are actually run by the most profitable bloggers. Shit's annoying but it's inevitable when there's easy money to be made.

[Anonymous No.18017569]

>>18015017
Just click print recipe and it will skip all the blog bs ez pz

[Anonymous No.18017575]

what do u mean man? you dont wanna see an egg cracked into some bread with a hole in the middle of it for the 100000000th time?

[Anonymous No.18017598]

>>18017133
modern google searches are definitely overrun by bot pages that just mash keywords together into a barely coherent article to farm ad clicks, there was a good screencap I had where an anon explained it in detail but I can't seem to find it

[Anonymous No.18017720]

>>18016547
Please post source, I'm intrigued.

[Anonymous No.18018342]

>>18016272
Cook's Illustrated and America's Test Kitchen have been my guide from an amateur to an at-least-decent chef, they really go into why a recipe works/alternatives/failed attempts and certain food myths (like bean-soaking).

[Anonymous No.18018748]

>>18018342
The show is good. Their books are solid gold A+ material.

[Anonymous No.18018762]

>>18015145
Just lightly press on the basil you sperg

[Anonymous No.18019105]

>>18015017
>caring about measurements
>even more caring about yield
>on paper
bro, this isn't rocket science

[Anonymous No.18020827]

>>18016552
>
in 1997 i was like 9 years old and would troll the shit out of grown adults all the time
it was amazing

the internet turned to shit around 2012-2013
everyone had a smarthphone by then
everyone had learned to use facebook
shit got way too personal
large companies and political groups infiltrated every platform to spread anger and demoralization
around 2013-2016 i swear everything was just constant racism and trash people blamming, bitching, complaining,
then it switched to everything being politics
regardless our platforms are pretty much hijacked by outside agencies and have been for years
half the posts arent even made by real accounts anymore

[Anonymous No.18021083]

>>18020827
Usenet is still around :)

[Anonymous No.18021305]

>>18015017
what a whiny little bitch you are, good thing this is the only strife you will ever have in your life living in mommies basement making twinkie wiener sandwiches and microwaved tendies.

pussy

[Anonymous No.18021312]

>>18015017
https://the-toast.net/2014/09/04/eighteen-kinds-people-comment-recipe-blog/

[Anonymous No.18021319]

>>18015094
Just use ad block and the jump-to-recipe button that's at the top of the page.

[Anonymous No.18021323]

>>18018762
He's right. Small leaf basil will give an entirely different volume.

Also define "lightly press"? How many Newtons are we talking about here?

[Anonymous No.18021398]

>>18015017
Because women work full jobs, do fitness 2x a week plus padel or whatever retarded fad, sing in a choir/make leather purses whatever and have 2 children to take care of 75% of the time. And they really need to lose weight (to make up for those 2 children nobody wants).

The result is and endless stream of any 5 supermarket ingredients thrown in a wok or similar and splattered with readymade dressing. Provided by women in their early 20s with no kids, perfect figure, no kids, too shallow for hobbies or good taste. You kinda need a bit of taste in the kitchen.

Why? Because that's what you look at and share on failbook, so in their mind that's what you find attractive and so that's what they try to copy.

/ck/ is BY FAR the best example of that dynamic.