/ck/ makes a cookbook #0

[Anonymous No.17720804]

I've always loved the dumb shit boards have managed to do when working together, be it /v/ the musical or the book Hypersphere by /lit/

So why don't we work on a cookbook?

It's not too hard, plenty of printing, cookbooks only need good typography and a fitting theme that makes the photos come together. The only hard part is the recipes and I’m sure if we put our heads together, we can come up with something good, if not at least novel.

But before jumping the gun and asking for recipes I thought it be smart to see how many people are interested, a lot of questions would need to be worked on like figuring out how many categories should be in the book, should there be humorous ones like cursed food recipes or should drinks be included places outside of 4chan to share recipes/ideas/votes such as the formatting.

I’d rather not (but willing) have it all take place here, since the Anonymous nature of the site would make it so one person curates all ideas exchanged here and no voting of any sort is taken into account. If no one really cares to leave the site I will try my best to go with the general mood of the threads, but if a large enough amount of people want somewhere else to talk please say so and give some suggestions and I or you can make those spaces to see how many people go.

[e-mail] I made an email as well in case someone does want to upload a recipe but can’t at the time for whatever reason.

tl;dr
>we make cookbook
>first lets see how many people give a shit
>talk about formatting ideas, categories, anything else I’ve missed
>any suggestions for irc/discord for voting/faster communication/anything else
>inb4 OP is a faggot

[Anonymous No.17720809]

We already have one. Cooking With Jack on YouTube is a videobook.

[Anonymous No.17720812]

nah

[Anonymous No.17720815]

>>17720809
Kay > Jack

[Anonymous No.17720816]

>>17720804
Running out of recipes Adam? Go fuck yourself cuck.

[Anonymous No.17720822]

>>17720816

[Anonymous No.17720823]

>>17720815
You're entitled to your opinion sir but this thread is about our cookbook.

[Anonymous No.17720825]

>>17720804
I love the idea. I can cook pretty well and would be happy to contribute/ develop some recipes. I've got some good sloppa ideas.

We need a full chapter on sloppa, or even the whole cookbook on sloppa.

[Anonymous No.17720830]

>>17720825
I really like this idea, I have a word document of ideas to write down in the event no one wants to talk outside /ck/ but sloppa as a genera of food I like.

Again, baby steps so right now I think its good to get all the creative juices turning and see what works togeather and what doesn't.

[Anonymous No.17720838]

>>17720825
What would you define as "sloppa." Personally i'd go with something like, typically low effort, comfort food that looks kinda fugly, the shitposting of food.

[Anonymous No.17720839]

>>17720809
Based

[Anonymous No.17720844]

>>17720825
I love this so much. How about we start with tossed salad?

Ok I'll bend over and you get to it.

[Anonymous No.17720851]

I can do a mean burger.
On that same point, I believe the most important thing about a good (and fast/easy) burger is the prior preparation (cut stuff, make the patties, refrigerate), it would be novel to have a burger section explaining the best methods and ofc the big mac sauce

[Anonymous No.17720854]

Recipe #1:
Anon's Cinnamon Toast

Ingredients:
>Store-Bought or Homemade White Bread
>Butter
>Cinnamon
>White Granulated Sugar

1. Slice bread, place one slice into toaster on medium
2. While bread is toasting, combine one part cinnamon with one part sugar in an amount to your liking
3. Butter toasted bread liberally on one side
4. Sprinkle buttered bread with cinnamon-sugar mixture

Feeds one, total cooking time 3-5 minutes

[Anonymous No.17720865]

>>17720851
That looks really fucking good Anon. Unless someone wants an outside space to talk shit I think stuff like having a burger section is a good idea but only if there is a high supply of burger recipes. But if not feel free to write in any addition pearls of wisdom in a recipe write up. I would ask for one now but stuff like you said is why i'm trying to hold off since peeps might add or take away stuff depending on the context of the book format.

>>17720854
Added to my big word document.

[Anonymous No.17720875]

>>17720838
Yeah exactly. Easy, comfort food, rich, ugly, very tasty.

It would be kind of cool to do a "fundamentals of sloppa" and have recipes that showcase a variety of techniques to make various types of sloppa.

A lot of the time my sloppas are a combo of my mood + what I have in the fridge + various techniques to develop good flavors and textures.

Think
Saucy rice with meat - gumbo kinda stuff
Rich stews
Quick Chilis
That kinda stuff.

[Anonymous No.17720878]

cheese on tortilla, microwave for 30 seconds

[Anonymous No.17720880]

>>17720878
Could you dip it in any sort of slopper?

I am thinking maybe we do a section on sloppy dips that we anons like to dunk our 'tillas in.

[Anonymous No.17720892]

>>17720875
I think you should take your sloppah ideas far beyond a novel shitposting book, I like what i'm hearing Anon.

Imma add the idea to the word doc for sure, probably make this thread again one or two times in dif time zones to try and catch more people, but I do like the idea of that as a direction, like the other Anon said with burgers, maybe take it in the approach of covering a few core areas indepth over a wide cast net.

>>17720878
Added, no way every meme suggestion should be in the book but I do like the idea of two pages taking up so little infomation.

[Anonymous No.17720897]

Recipes in the book should start off with stuff like this >>17720851
>>17720854
Then slowly devolve in kay tier. Bonus points if you adapt some of the /ck/ classics for the book, like the sundae ramen

[Anonymous No.17720900]

>>17720892
Or even a hybrid, having cataogries of food like drinks/sweet treats/snacks/dinners spread out, but also having some areas dedicated to /ck/ core food like sloppah.

[Anonymous No.17720912]

>>17720897
I really like this idea, what do you think would be funnier having it be a slow and steady decline in quality, or throwing in the low quality shit spread out.

[Anonymous No.17720918]

>prepare broccoli (boil)
>prepare udon noodles (boil)
>prepare chicken breast (bake)
>make sauce consisting of apple cider vinegar, sriacha, peanut butter, and soy sauce
>combine
thai-ish peanut type chicken broccoli noodles
wa la

[Anonymous No.17720926]

>>17720918

[Anonymous No.17720932]

Here's one especially for you, OP

Cum on a Cracker, serves one
>1 package Country Club crackers
>1 penis, erect
Take the crackers with you on your daily trip to the gay bar gloryhole. Instead of swallowing, let him shoot it on the cracker.
Serve yourself while sitting on the toilet.

[Anonymous No.17720937]

>>17720932

[Anonymous No.17720938]

I also have a very nice method to make these pickled like eggs for your ramen, probably would be worth a page if we get together with some anon that does a reliably good noodle recipe
Same as with the burgers, it's algorithimical, you make the same thing and it works like a charm everytime

[Anonymous No.17720951]

>>17720892
I'll look through the archives and rack my brain on some sloppa ideas. Try to compile something for atleast a chapter. I like writing recipes and have always fantasized about writing a cookbook, so this will be fun!

[Anonymous No.17720955]

>>17720951
make your own and sell it, tons of retards do it. no one will care if it's good or not

[Anonymous No.17720967]

>>17720938
ZAMN.
If you wanted to add it to some other Anon's recipe I think it be good to shout at em to see if they agree to have it matched with theirs when getting around to asking for actual recipes.

Either way i'd love it still if ou gave the recipe either here, in a future thread or the email.

If enough people suggest garnishes and snacks could be a section dedicated to that stuff.

>>17720951
I'd love that man, it's really appreciated. Again feel free to post in any threads or email whenever. I really like the idea of a sloppa section in some form.

[Anonymous No.17721030]

>>17720955
Maybe if I start figuring things out and it feels good I'll do my own, but for now the inspiration is to contribute to something greater!

>>17720967
Saved your email.

[Anonymous No.17721035]

>>17721030
>something greater!

a discord collection of recipes?

[Anonymous No.17721062]

>>17721030
Thanks sloppanon, I hope this goes well.

>>17721035
I always find chan collabs super cool, something very SOULFUL about an area with alot of apathy and negativity who can't do count to five challanges get togeather and do something most peeps don't.

[Anonymous No.17721069]

>>17721062
you should check out reddit

[Anonymous No.17721076]

>>17721062
YouTubers kill the vibe when they plunder your effort for their own profit. Like the creepypasta readings.

[Anonymous No.17721097]

>>17721069
Haha yeah dude lol

>>17721076
Sometimes it can turn into something cool, like SCP had a handful of cool fangames made and off 4chan ones.

[FUNKY ANON No.17721171]

>>17720804
I'LL DO THE CEREAL RECIPES!

[Anonymous No.17721178]

>>17721171
Please do B)

[Anonymous No.17721180]

>>17720830
excellent idea, make a lot of sloppa myself would b happy to contribute :) mostly I do Indian for myself in those terms but have worked for a while in restaurants n am fairly well versed in the sorta typical European restaurant style

[Anonymous No.17721188]

>>17721180
also I have a degree in English (useless I know) so happy to help with proofreading and such if ever gets that far

[Anonymous No.17721194]

>>17720854
Recipe #2:
Chocolate Anonymousse Vegan Pie

Ingredients:
>Graham cracker crust
>honey
>avocado
>banana
>cocoa powder

1. Peel avocado and banana and put both into a food processor at a 2:1 ratio.
2. Add honey at a 1:8 ratio to processor.
3. Sprinkle cocoa powder and begin to process. Add cocoa powder to taste. More honey if needed.
4. Process until a whipped consistency.
5. Fill crust with the completed "mousse" then chill before serving.

[Anonymous No.17721196]

this is the gayest autistic shit I've seen on this board. it's gonna be filled with canned deez "hacks" and kraft mix-ins.

[Anonymous No.17721199]

>>17721180
Damn man having some pro chief tier stuff would be awsome, more so for indian food since alot of people don't know how to do it, also I find not that many big youtube cooks give Indian recipes either.

>>17721188
That would also be deeply appreciated lol, my English sucks, not bad if I go over a few times and get someone to check but having people offer to do that is super useful. Thanks again for taking interest in the idea.

[Anonymous No.17721208]

>>17721194
Thank you Anon.

>>17721196
Deez are /ck/ culture, having one put in as a side gag would be funny, please do Anon

[Anonymous No.17721213]

>>17721196
I'd like to add it's not going to be, whatever you suggest will be put in, there will obviously be a level of curating. Why i'd like ideas on voting and what not so it's not just me picking and choosing what goes in and what doesn't.

[Anonymous No.17721231]

Egg foo young recipe
>2 eggs
>1 tsp soy sauce
>1 tsp oyster sauce
> 1 cup thinly shredded cabbage
>2 tbl chopped mushrooms
>2 tbl chopped green onions
Mix all ingredients together, pour into a pan on medium high heat cook for 2-3 mins, flip cook other side for another 2-3 minutes

Gravy (optional)
>2/3 cup chicken stock
>1 tsp soy sauce
>1/2 tbl oyster sauce
>1/2 tbl corn starch
>1/8 tsp garlic powder (optional)
>1/8 tsp chili flakes (optional)
Mix all ingredients together cook over medium heat until thickened to desired consistency

[Anonymous No.17721235]

>>17721199
yea for sure, although I think thats because lots of people dont have their pantries stocked up for quite a lot of the necessary things - that being said people homecoming BIR has become a lot lot more common in the UK in the last few years. its no problem, I saved the email so ill send you one at some point soon

[Anonymous No.17721241]

>>17720804
4chan collabs always come out kino. I love the Super Mario /v/orld hacks, so this certainly has potential.

>start frying scrambled eggs to make an omelette
>boil chicken breast
>cut it into several pieces
>add spinach to omelette
>put chopped chicken pieces into omelette while adding lemon juice
>fold omelette
>press hard on both sides to seal it
Tasty chicken spinach omelette.

[Anonymous No.17721261]

>>17721231
Thanks Anon.

>>17721235
homecoming BIR? And sending anything would be much appreciated. The pantries not being stocked is very true, I had to admit it but for the longest time I didn't have any cardamon and only got it to make barfi.

>>17721241
Same as well brother, I love the collabs. I still need to check out SM/V/ i played a lil of the muiltplayer lobbie of that mario hack with v and that was fun.

[Anonymous No.17721278]

>>17721261
I meant *homecooking

[Anonymous No.17721290]

>>17721278
Ahhh i gotcha i gotcha lol.

[Anonymous No.17721300]

>>17720825
>>17720830
>/ck/ - sloppa
I'm in. Sounds fun.

[Anonymous No.17721311]

Cheesy Gordita Crunch

Ingredients:
>1 Mode of Transportation
>~5 Dollars

Instructions:
>Use transportation to go to nearest Taco Bell
>Order one Cheesy Gordita Crunch

Sneeds One

[Anonymous No.17721316]

The banned for racism on /ck/ special

1 part soulless dead jannie
17 parts salt in the wound
3 parts green nappa cabbage, raw for extra fast till you faint.
6 million parts disdain for non whites
1 part changing your IP

[Anonymous No.17721327]

just go to the ck booru you retarded piece of shit

[Anonymous No.17721330]

Mexican Sloppa
>Get chicken or beef, rinse & cut up
>Get a yellow onion
>Get a tomato
>get some garlic
>Get a can of chipotle peppers
>cut up onion and tomato, throw in pot, medium/high heat
>open chipotle peppers, remove half the seeds, throw in pot
>get 2 tablespoons cumin
>mix in
>cut up garlic
>throw in
>cook for 10-15 minutes until it looks like sloppa
>grab beef or chicken
>throw in pot
>cover
>cook for 30 minutes
>mix every 10 minutes
If there's any way you can remove some words from that recipe so it looks like terrible english, that would be great.

[Anonymous No.17721331]

>get deenz
>appy hot sauce
>drink with mug root beer

[Anonymous No.17721338]

5th of November
>1 part absinthe
>2 part sips
>3 part melon liqueur
stir absinthe and liqueur. shake can of sips and pour, top with whip cream and mint garnish if possible. adjust accordingly to needs (taste, energy, drunk).

[Anonymous No.17721339]

>>17721327
I'd rather not search for existing content, I'd like the recipes to have been given, there isn't any fun or group effort in just googling recipes.

Ontop of that they aren't written well for a cookbook, very good as an online guide since it provides lots of photos but the formatting is just off.

[Anonymous No.17721342]

/ck/ already has its own drink, someone post the image

[Anonymous No.17721349]

>>17721330
I'd like to keep it as orgional as provided but if peeps want it changed that's fine. I'd apprichate it if you could attach a photo of it sometime since it saves me having to make the recipe, why I was just gonna use this thread as an introduction for exchanging ideas before getting down in the mud.

[Anonymous No.17721359]

>>17721342
I would like to keep em orgional as possible but any CLASSICS I think are worthy of putting in

[Anonymous No.17721370]

>>17721331
Classic.

>>17721338
Drinks would rock honestly, thanks. Sure someone will give some king Kobra tier mixes at some point

[Anonymous No.17721378]

Right I'm off for the night.

Will have a look at the thread tommrow.

[Anonymous No.17721398]

>>17721370
some guy had a recipe called a Kahlua Akbar. i had it written down in a bartending book i had but i gave that copy to a friend. if anyone has it holler atchyer boy

[Anonymous No.17721407]

>>17720804
Didn't someone already do this on a git page or something?

[Anonymous No.17721452]

>>17720804
Pizza Pockets

Ingredients:
>Tortillas
>Pizza sauce
>Mozzarella Cheese

1) Spread pizza sauce on tortilla
2) Add Mozzarella cheese
3) Fold it so two ends touch in the middle then fold the whole thing in half so only one end is open
4) Throw it into the toaster or put it in the toaster oven on setting toast

Feeds one, Cooking time 5ish minutes

[Anonymous No.17721477]

>>17721407
Theres a whole site

[Anonymous No.17721479]

>>17720825
Classic cajun sloppa: chicken ey two fay (etouffee)

>4 tablespoons (or more) high smoke point oil of your choice
>same amount flour
>1 onion
>1 bunch of celery
>2 to 3 bell peppers
>2 garlic cloves
>4-6 chicken thighs
>1 quart or so chicken broth
>bay leaves (does nothing), cajun seasoning, thyme
>rice

Start by making a roux with the oil (lard is best) and flour. Under medium to high heat, add the oil to a large pan then once hot add the flour and stir until combined. Stir the roux constantly so as not to burn, until the roux is light brown to golden brown as desired.

Chop onions, celery, and bell pepper, using roughly equal amounts of each. Add a bit more oil to the pan, and add the chopped vegetables. Season with cajun seasoning and, mixing well with the roux, cook until vegetables are tender.

While vegetables are cooking, brown the chicken thighs in a separate pan with oil. Add a light dusting of cajun seasoning. Remove chicken from pan once browned sufficiently and deglaze with a bit of chicken broth.

Once the vegetables are sufficiently tender, add chicken broth to the pan and whisk until combined with the roux into a thick gravy. Add the chicken thighs and deglazed drippings, increase pan heat until boiling then reduce heat to a simmer. Add a pinch of thyme and some bay leaves, and optionally a dash of clam juice and/or cream (if your wife, like mine, bitches about the cayenne from the cajun seasoning getting the dish too spicy)

Simmer, stirring regularly and topping off with broth if the sauce gets too thick, until the chicken is pull apart tender. Remove the meat from the bones and add to the dish, tossing the bones. Serve over rice. If you need instructions on how to make rice, you're retarded.

[Anonymous No.17721482]

Brazillian Anon's Pancakes:
Ingredients:
-1 egg
-1/2 a tea cup of milk
-1 spoon (soup) of vegetable oil
-1 tea cup of wheat flour
-1 spoon (coffee) of salt
-1 tea spoon of baking powder

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl, starting by the dry and then the liquids, ending with the egg, Sift the flour to make the dough softer.
Mix them until a dough is formed, it should have a very bright yellow color. if it is too soft (liquid) add more sifted flour, if its too rought, add more milk.
Heat up a frying pan with a little bit of oil, with or without the help of a spoon, pour the dought into the pan (preferebly into a circular shape) and let it sit for a few minutes on medium-low heat. Once one side is golden brown, flip it carefully and wait for the other side.
Good served alongside honey or jam.

[Anonymous No.17721494]

Check this thread out op
>>/ck/thread/6222125
This guy made other threads too

[Anonymous No.17721499]

>>17721479
I make this kinda thing all the time glad to finally know it's name

[Anonymous No.17721537]

>>17721327
no, faggot

[Anonymous No.17721541]

>>17721499
Yeah, etouffee is just french for "smothered"

dumping gravy with flavorings on top of meat and rice is a pretty classic sloppa

[Anonymous No.17721607]

>>17720804

[Anonymous No.17721615]

>>17720825
All the sections need to have /ck/ themed names:

Sloppa
Date Night for One
Cocktails and Other Beverages (but half the recipes are just instructions for purchasing and opening a can of beer etc.)

[Anonymous No.17721676]

Here’s my rice and beans sloppa

>sauté garlic and onions
>add drained can of beans, whatever anon likes
>fry until beans start to brown (I don’t know why I do this step)
>add can of tomatoes and water, then stir it all together and bring to a simmer
>add salt and pepper, red chili flakes, onion powder, garlic powder, and garam masala
>wait until half the liquid is gone
>add a tbsp of butter to thicken it a bit
>continue simmering until the liquid is almost gone
>serve over rice

[Anonymous No.17721686]

>>17721615
I like this idea alot

[Anonymous No.17721691]

>>17721607
yeah this one passes the muster

[Anonymous No.17721702]

all recipes should be greentexted

[Anonymous No.17721712]

We need the classics:

Sweet sundae ramen
Sonic blue curry
Turkey marinated in Mountain Dew (someone remind me)
Nikocado's crusty loaf
A whole chapter on Dinotendies' exploits

[Anonymous No.17721717]

that chocolate milkshake/drink that anon drinks with friends and makes all of them poop their pants out and he describes as tasting like "sex with angels"
the anon right under him asked for the recipe

[Anonymous No.17721752]

A poor fan's modest meal

>smoked turkey legs, about 2-4 lbs
>a pack of 15 bean mix, 1 lbs
>water to cover beans by 1/2 inch
>1 tbsp fat (bacon grease, oil, butter)
>3 carrots chopped 1/2 inch
>3 celery chopped 1/2 inch
>1 medium onion chopped 1/2 inch
>salt and pepper to taste

I got money edition:
>2 Bay leaf
>chicken bouillon cube

Rinse, pick through, and soak beans overnight. Discard water.

In a large pot over medium heat, sautee carrots, celery and onions until onion is translucent. Add beans and water to the pot. Cover with water until beans are submerged 1/2 inch. Add the smoked turkey legs. Optionally, add the bay leaf and bouillon cube, stirring. Cover and bring to a boil, then put on simmer on low until beans are cooked through. Take turkey leg out and pull the meat off to spread. Put the meat back in the soup. Keep on low up to 8 hours. Season and stir with salt and pepper to taste.

Poorfag tested, poorfag approved.

[Anonymous No.17721773]

>>17721482
janny please do ur job and delete this if you will

Brazillian Anon's Pancakes:
Ingredients:
>1 egg
>1/2 a tea cup of milk
>1 spoon (soup) of vegetable oil
>1 tea cup of wheat flour
>1 spoon (coffee) of salt
>1 tea spoon of baking powder

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl, starting by the dry and then the liquids, ending with the egg, Sift the flour to make the dough softer.
Mix them until a dough is formed, it should have a very bright yellow color. if it is too soft (liquid) add more sifted flour, if its too rought, add more milk.
Heat up a frying pan with a little bit of oil, with or without the help of a spoon, pour the dought into the pan (preferebly into a circular shape) and let it sit for a few minutes on medium-low heat. Once one side is golden brown, flip it carefully and wait for the other side.
Good served alongside honey or jam.

[Anonymous No.17721869]

>>17721316
Imagine trying this hard.

[Anonymous No.17722047]

>>17720804
I'm down for this but can't cook for shit, I can help if the book needs any graphics or designs or whatever. Books have covers right?

[Anonymous No.17722089]

I like this idea. Some recipes that will definitely need to be included:
>Surley King's Egg Sandwich
>Altoona Style Pizza
>Not Pizza (aka Chicago Deep Dish)
>Jack\s Non-Newtonian Chicken Breasts
>Instant Ramen
>Well-done Steak with Ketchup
>Chicken Nuggets
>Carbonara
>"Better Than-A Big Mac" Roast Beef Sandwich
Of course, an entire section dedicated to flyover slop such as:
>tater tot hot dish
>chili spaghetti
>butter burger
Of course a chapter for the sardines redditors since they're prominent with their circle-jerk faggotry and I'm sure it would make it in anyway. Maybe a "Do American's Really?" chapter as well as one for novelty not real foods such as
>"ze bugs"
>Gamer Girl Poop Filled Twinkies
>cigarettes
Lastly some cooking tips like how to dispose of cooking oil so that it isn't your problem. I'm just rapid firing ideas, not sure all are necessary or desired, but having some memes in there would keep it fun.

[Anonymous No.17722278]

>>17720967
I'll make a thread with the ramen eggs, same image as posted previously. Stay tuned

[Anonymous No.17722302]

>>17720825
I've got a great sweet potato skillet you could call sloppa

[Anonymous No.17722320]

Intriguing idea, OP

I don't have much in terms of cooking prowess, but here's something I tried the other day to use up the giant pack of mulberries in my freezer

Ingredients
>mulberries, any amount
>sugar, 3/4 (or more) of the mulberries' weight
>tablespoon of honey
>water, add bit by bit as needed
>some starch to thicken, adjust as needed (add in increments of one tbsp)
Directions
>crush/mash mulberries beforehand. Or just chop
>add into a saucepan with the sugar
>med high heat, cook until the mulberries start falling apart (don't let it burn)
>mix starch with just a bit of water, add to saucepan
>cook until desired thickness (runnier to be used as sauce, thicker as jam or filling)
>bonus: add a few blades of salted butter if using as a sauce for savoury dishes

Goes well with fried fish desu. On that note, have a simple oven fish recipe too

Ingredients
>block/fillet of any white fish (I used red snapper)
>salt, coarse pepper, dried dill
>some broad, thinly sliced ginger
>sprinkle of rice wine (haven't tried it with any other wines)
Directions
>sprinkle or brush the wine all over the fish
>evenly coat the dry seasonings on both sides of the fish
>place the fish on top of the slices of ginger
>let rest for 15 minutes or so
>bake at 180 centigrade until cooked (time depends on thickness, but 15-25 minutes is a safe bet)

[Anonymous No.17722325]

Classic Cocktail
-anon

1 part tap water
1 part bottled water
serve in a highball, garnish with cum

[cont. No.17722355]

>>17722320
Obligatory sloppa, featuring fish again. Though this one's native to my country in SEA

Ingredients
>blocks of striped spanish mackerel, bone in
>thicc coconut milk
>1-2 bulbs of turmeric
>about 5 bird's eye peppers (or any hot pepper)
>some red onion(usually half a cup or more)
>3-4 cloves of garlic (or more if you prefer)
>turmeric leaf (if you have it)
>1 stalk of lemongrass
>1-2 tamarind slices (acquired taste, optional; its good even without it)
>water, salt and sugar as needed
Directions
>blend/pound/process peppers, turmeric, onion and half of the garlic
>oil in the pot, then sweat the rest of the garlic
>add in the blended stuff, the lemongrass, tamarind, coconut milk and some water
>let simmer on medium heat to let some flavours mingle, don't curdle the coconut milk
>add in the fish, gently moving it around in the mix until its cooked
>add in sliced turmeric leaves and turn the heat off
>serve on rice for sloppa
>bonus: add in veggies of choice and cook through before adding the fish for a fuller meal. Okra, aubergine and tomatoes are good choices

Lastly, have a simple desert

Ingredients
>agar powder, 2 tsp
>1 litres of water
>1 tin of evaporated milk
>instant coffee powder, sweetened

Directions
>boil 4/5 of the water
>add agar to remaining water and set aside
>add coffee powder to hot water, mix and taste until strong coffee is achieved
>add evaporated milk, bring to a boil
>add remaining water with agar
>simmer for a short while (1 minute or so, until agar dissolves
>pour into cups and chill for coffee jelly

[Anonymous No.17722363]

The African Delight, by 17722363

1/2 pound air
2 tbs air
3 cups granulated air
2 sprigs of air
6 tsp minced air

Combine air, air, and half of the air in a bowl, mix well
Add air; fold in gently
Lube griddle with air, and pour on air/air/air/air mixture. Grill until crisp.
Sprinkle remaining air on top to garnish

[Anonymous No.17722410]

/deenz/cakes

>2 tins of your choice of deenz flavour
>in a bowl, mash up deenz, 1/2 cup of shredded cheese, 1 egg, green onions, 1/2 cup of greek yogurt/sour cream
>season with sriracha, franks hot sauce, salt, pepper, garlic, and a dash of cayenne
>mix in like 10 crackers or until it holds consistency
>form into 4 equal sized 3cm thick patties
>pop in freezer for 20 mins to stiffen up
>heat pan
>oil in
>cakes in
>cook for about 4 mins a side or until brown
>serve with some veggies
wa la

[Anonymous No.17722475]

>>17720804
Don’t forget the Thai yellow curry.

[Anonymous No.17722548]

>>17722089
>Surley King's Egg Sandwich
>Not Pizza (aka Chicago Deep Dish)
>Jack\s Non-Newtonian Chicken Breasts

these can be actual reasonable recipes, the others are just low hanging fruit. The flyover selection isnt too bad, but they're not very original desu

I recommend adding these, should anyone choose to tackle the task of coming up with something for them
>Air fryer turkey
>Cutting-board-seasoned steak


meanwhile, I'll try with the eggfortwich

>2 slices of plain bread
>1 large egg(or 2 small ones)
>chopped red and spring onions
>salt and pepper

>oil a wide frying pan well
>crack the egg(s) in a bowl and beat it lightly
>add in the onions
>pour the egg mixture in the pan, spread it out evenly
>place the slices of bread on top of the egg
>when the bottom is ready, flip the eggs and the bread
>let the bread toast while you season the egg
>fold over one slice of bread, so that the egg becomes the filling
>slice in half and serve

[Anonymous No.17722568]

>>17722363
What in the goddamn?

[Anonymous No.17722572]

>>17720825

The thing about sloppa is that you're kinda just emptying out your fridge and dumping it in a pan, no? Idk I usually cut up some homefries, ham/chorizo and cheese, cook it all together with seasoning and finish it with two eggs, making a giant pile of pan fried good.

[Anonymous No.17722580]

>>17722548
>only one egg
This is for the KING of the egg fort. 3 are required, at the bare minimum

[Anonymous No.17722875]

>>17721712
don't forget the Sleepytime Chicken

oh, and OP, please make the cover page a collage of lemon piglets while you're at it

[Anonymous No.17722927]

>>17722572
The only thing about sloppa is someone shares something they made and you tell him it looks like a big sloppa shit.

[Anonymous No.17723053]

>>17721479
>>17721482
>>17721607>>17721773
>>17722089
>>17722320
>>17722355
>>17722410
>>17722363
>>17722548
Thank you all for your addition, I'll try my best to include as many as I can but might have to cut someout depending on the themes/amount of recipes given. Also I feel ones with pictures will probably take priority as it means I don't have to cook it myself to take a photo.

>>17721676
>>17721752

[Anonymous No.17723056]

>>17722875
Noted, I think i'll leave theme colours and bookcovers / blurbs to the end. I really liked the /lit/ book how they just made up abunce of fake quotes hah.

[Anonymous No.17723064]

I'm very happy so many Anons are receiving the idea well.

From suggestions a think a good course to take would be thinking up cataogries for the book, sloppa, drinks, well known cursed shit, ext.

If anyone has any suggestions for categories please say so, i'll probably make the next thread have a focus on cateogories and recipes.

[Anonymous No.17723073]

>>17722089
I like the idea of /ck/ tips as well. I think that could be a fun inclusion.

[Anonymous No.17723084]

>>17722410
This is perfect formatting, even if the photo attached isn't your own. Thanks Anon.

[Anonymous No.17723108]

/pol/ish potato dumplings:

Regular:
>leftover potatoes (freshly cooked are good too, but let them cool) press into a bowl
>scoop out a quarter (like cutting out a pizza slice), then add half all-purpose flour and half potato starch into created hole
>add one egg and a pinch of salt, knead until uniform dough
>cut a chunk off and roll out into a tube roughly 1.5 inch in diameter, cut into smaller pillows, press with a thumb in the middle to create an indent
>throw into a boiling salted water and cook until they swim up
>optional - sear them on a pan a bit
>serve with bacon, or any savory sauce/main course

[Anonymous No.17723121]

>>17723108
Sweet:
>leftover potties, mix ~1:1 with quark, if unever amounts go for more quark in the mix
>scoop a quarter, add all-purpose flour and one egg
>knead until thoroughly combined
>roll out into a tube roughly 1.5 inch in diameter, cut into smaller pillows
>throw into a boiling, lightly salted water and cook until they swim up

>in a saucepan, melt some butter and add breadcrumbs, not too much to get a nice runny consistency
>coat dumplings with sauce, sprinkle with sugar

[Anonymous No.17723142]

The /pol/ special:

> Close kitchen
> turn on gas

Serves 10

[Anonymous No.17723196]

a regional delicacy
october 3rd slop special:
>peel and cut potatoes into pieces
>put in pot and bring to a boil
>cut onions carrots and parsnip or celeriac and throw it on top
>boil until everything is cooked
>drain the water
>add butter and take a masher to it
>serve with smoked sausage or some kind of meat gravy thing

[Anonymous No.17723217]

>>17723056
wait, there was a /lit/ project?
link please

[Anonymous No.17723265]

based.cooking

[Anonymous No.17723301]

Anon's greasy sandwich.
Time for some brotein.

Ingredients:
Bacon 2 strips
Eggs 2-3
Bread slice/ toast
Lettuce
Ketchup n mayo half a tbsp each
Turkey slices 2
Cheese slices 2
Onion
Half tbsp butter

Macros:
Calculate them on your own. Materials do vary from place to place. My sandwich comes out at 40 grams of protein and around 550kcals.

Steps:
>Dice onion
>Fry the bacon strips
>Put them in low heat in the oven so they stay warm
>Fry diced onion on low heat in the bacon grease
>This step might take a while, you want the onion brown but not burnt, you might want to add some splashes of water if they dry out
>Scramble a couple eggs in the meantime
>Sink bread in scrambled eggs
>When onion is ready take it out
>Toss the butter and fry the bread slices
>Turn the bread slices and top them off with cheese
>Take out the bread
>Mix the ketchup n mayo to make some mediocre ceff sauce
>Throw in the pan the rest of the eggs
>Once done, assemble the sandwich with the turkey slices, the lettuce and the ceff sauce.

[Anonymous No.17723323]

can I contribute recipes that are blatantly plagiarized from cookbooks

[Anonymous No.17723342]

>>17722363
Fucking wizards.

[Anonymous No.17723402]

>>17722363
Served with a side of flies

[Anonymous No.17723414]

Two words, just two words:
Orange Fool.

[Anonymous No.17723534]

>>17721479
tasty dish but shit method of making it

[Anonymous No.17723552]

>>17723108
>>17723121
>>17723196
Nice... Nice...

>>17723301
I like it alot Anon.

>>17723323
It's whatever you wanna do friend.

[Anonymous No.17723565]

Transdermal Estradiol Solution

Measure
Place weighing tray or glass watch on scale, and then tare to 0. Gently scoop or pour estradiol powder onto glass watch/weighing tray until the scale reads 4 grams. Place in container.
Measure out 100ml of isopropyl alcohol and pour in container.
Measure out 100ml of isopropyl myristate and keep in graduated cylinder.
Mix
Secure lid or stopper on container.
Shake estradiol and isopropyl alcohol together until powder is dissolved.
Take off lid and pour your pre-measured 100ml of isopropyl myristate into container. Secure lid again and shake.
The same results could be achieved in an open container with enough stirring. Providing low heat from a stove burner helps immensely in my experience.
Bottle
Use large syringe to place 30ml of solution into each eyedropper vial. A graduated cylinder could also work for portioning. Really, it isn’t too important exactly how much is in each vial unless you plan on having a more exact record of your stock. You could even just keep the solution in its original container and use a medicine dropper for doses if you wanted to simplify things even more.
Intake
Pull up liquid into dropper.
Apply a 0.1ml (2mg) dose to scrotum or armpit. Apply this same dosage every 12 hours. Note that the armpit isn’t as effective and may require more drops depending on the individual. See below disclaimer about adjusting drop dosage.
Avoid clothing contact to the area while it dries.

[Anonymous No.17723566]

>>17723108
>>17723196
Thanks alot for attaching a photo btw, i get most of em will just be shit you googled but I think it would be cool if the recipes were formatted if not copied like the post used to give.

[Anonymous No.17723678]

>>17723053
Brazilian anon here, I can take pictures if you want

[Anonymous No.17723685]

use my rice and beans sloppa recipe you coward

[Anonymous No.17723769]

>>17723678
If you don't mind me being a massive asshole, mind writting the recipe and attacing the photo? I may wanna take the direction of having stright up posts be the recipe, if it looks ugly ill just rewrite it all and attach the photo to the side like most cookbooks.

[Anonymous No.17723772]

>>17723565
the GOOD STUFF
.>>17723685
I probably will, it's well written and the pepe profile is cute, I might have to make it to have a photo, but if you happen to have one saved feel free to post or at a later date.

[Anonymous No.17723779]

>>17723769
what do you mean? like write the recipe down in in a piece of paper and sending you the photo of the dish and the recipe paper?
if its that, I can do it if you like

[Anonymous No.17723792]

>sautee onions and mushrooms in olive oil
>add some butter
>splash of red wine
>after the booze is cooked off, add in in some canned tomatoes
>cook for like 8-10 minutes to let the liquid boil out
>add in salt, pepper, oregano, maybe some thyme and garlic
>stir and cook for 3-5 minutes longer

ez tomato sauce

[Anonymous No.17723800]

>>17722875
I think that's what I was trying to remember when I said "turkey marinated in mountain dew", thanks. We also need the Surly King's egg sandwich recipe, as someone else noted.

[Anonymous No.17723810]

>>17723779
Nah just write it well as a post here, ideally with a good photo of the food attached.

[Anonymous No.17723812]

>>17723566
If you get the project going and threads keep appearing, there's a chance I make it myself by the time you release.

[Anonymous No.17723817]

>>17723812
If you do i'd love it if you could repost the recipe with the authentic photo attached if you had the time.

[Anonymous No.17723823]

>>17723812
I'll probably make a handful of these threads over the next month or so, asking people to attached photos and then corner down on what needs adding, like if only two people give drink ideas i'll end up booking peeps for drink recipes they have just to fill in that gap.

[Anonymous No.17723835]

>>17721607
I make this for my husband to take to work every now and again and can confirm it's a delicious cake.

[Anonymous No.17723837]

>>17723810
ok, imma go make it alongside 'ma and then I come back, if not I'll email you if the thread dies

[Anonymous No.17723840]

>>17723837
That would be perfect, much appreciated Anon.

[Anonymous No.17723884]

>>17721213
>Why i'd like ideas on voting and what not so it's not just me picking and choosing what goes in and what doesn't.
First make a publicly available list of all the recipes, such as on git, pastebin, hack.md, or google docs. Then make a Stawpoll or something with the names of the recipes and pick the most popular ones. Technically people could abuse the voting system by voting multiple times using a proxy or whatever but they probably won't.
Because you didn't ask people to leave some identification you can't have the biggest contributors curate alongside with you, though that could have also been another option. Still you could probably find a few people willing to help you if you asked, just make sure to not give them any rights over shared git/paste/hack/google pages and filter out any obvious trolls.

t. anon who has worked a pastebin for a general before

[Anonymous No.17723934]

Yakisoba-style ramen
Ingredients:
>1 packet of ramen
>1 cup water
>1 tablespoon butter
Recipe:
>Put all the ingredients into a pan
>Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer
>Simmer until all water evaporates (be sure to move the noodles around so they get cooked evenly)
>Sauté the noodles in the butter until cooked to your liking (I personally like it a little crispy)
This recipe is really versatile, feel free to add any fixings you like. I usually scramble a couple of eggs in the pan after the water boils off.

[Anonymous No.17723936]

>>17720804
Recipe #who gives a fuck
Chi/ck/en Sammy

Ingredients:
>Brioche Buns | Can be Subbed out for anything loosely bread related.
>500 ml neutral vegetable oil, such as peanut. | Can be substituted for its equivalent in lard.
>1kg of chicken
>Cumin
>Curry Powder
>Sazon | Can be subbed out for flat MSG
>Salt
>Pepper
>Garlic Powder
>White Pepper | Can be ignored if not to your taste
>Paprika | Can be subbed out for Chili Powder for a different tasting note.


Equipment:
>Big fucking stock pot or Cast Iron Pot if you're a part of the cult of cast iron
>A fucking huge plastic bag
>A cooking spider to get your shit out of the hot hot oil
>Tongs if you hate chicken juices on your hands.
>Cooling rack

1/2

[Anonymous No.17723938]

>>17723884
>first make it publically available list
I'm planning once it's all done to upload the pdf to pastebin/mega/googledocs/anonfile (if they are stilla round) ext ext to make it free for all, but the main point of all this is to have a physical copy so I think going with one of those print on demand like the /lit/ book used would be a good way of going about it. So far all the recipes i'm just holding on my hard drive with dif sizes but would't mind putting em on a pastebin if people wanted the saved photos.

>stawpoll
Yeh I think that might be the best solution, why I was testing the water with outside the website talk, just because voting that way you can kinda account for each person but the next thread i'll have some new strawpolls about the formatting such as the genres and towards the end of the project ask for titles and other details.

I'll be sure to ask for help later on, someone already offered to proof read and that was super nice of them.

Thanks so alot for the feedback, I'd really like this to be as much of a group effort as possible and the nature of anonymity can make it hard to not be one guy dictating alot, but I think some polls are a good way to go along with taking on people's ideas and seeing what everyone else thinks of em.

Please feel free to give any other suggestions, more so if you have any points on why a pastebin might be good and what not.

[Anonymous No.17723940]

>>17723936
2/2
1. Get your chicken out of whatever it comes in, put into plastic bag
2. Season with 2 tablespoons of cumin, 2 table spoons of pepper, 2 teaspoons of garlic powder, 2 table spoons of paprika, Salt and MSG to taste.
3. Shut the plastic bag, shake it like you're a gorilla who's got their hands on a stupid white kid
4. Once the spices are completely dispersed, let it sit on your counter for atleast 30 minutes, 1 hour is preferred however to allow the seasonings to penetrate deeply.
5. Bring your oil (Or lard) up to temperature, you want it to bubble when you put shit in there. I keep a bottle of pancake mix to test my oil, but do whatever you need to do.
6. After your oil is up to temperature, lower the heat to the lowest possible degree. If you keep your oil rising in temp, it WILL smoke out your house and leave this disgusting oil film on everything. Don't fuck up like I did.
7. Grab your chicken out of the bag, drop into oil, let it cook for around 5-10 minutes. Use your best judgement here, its better to undercook it and drop it back in, than to overcook it and get dry chicken. Also, try not to get burned by the oil splash.
8. Pull it from the oil and let rest on a cooling rack for a minute to cool and drip off oil from your now fried chicken.
9. Plate on the Brioche Bun, and enjoy.

Feeds one five times, or feeds five once. Prep time 30 minutes, cooking time 10 minutes. Total cooking time 40 minutes.

[Anonymous No.17723947]

>>17723936
God tier, thank you Anon.

[Anonymous No.17723958]

If you do this, you gotta go with the /ck/ classic Grand Duke

[Anonymous No.17723969]

>>17723958
US flag...

[Anonymous No.17724001]

My lazy recipe for tacos
INGREDIENTS
>1 chicken breast/whatever pork/beef is on sale and similar size
>1 can of whatever beans you want (refried, spiced black beans, etc)
>1/2 onion, red preferably
>2 jalapeno or Fresno peppers
>1/3 bell pepper
>Garlic paste/powder/whatever you want that works
>Black pepper
>Cayenne
>Cumin
>Paprika (hot or smoked)
>salsa (I usually buy Mrs. Renfros)
>Sambal oelek (NOT THE GARLIC KIND)
>Cheese
>Tortillas

>chop veggies into small pieces, and add into medium hot pan with oil, the bell pepper takes the longest so that's usually first
>Start heating beans in small pot
>Chop chicken into small chunks, add to pan, sear veggies and meat together
>Towards the end when chicken is cooked and veggies soften, add black pepper, cayenne pepper, garlic, and cumin (feel free to add them to the beans as well)
>When meat is finished, drop to low heat and add ~1/3 cup salsa and ~2tbs sambal, stir and try to get any burnt pieces in the pan into the sauce, add paprika
>Make burritos with beans, meat/veggie/sauce mix, and cheese in tortillas

I have a very shitty noodle bowl recipe as well if anyone is interested

[Anonymous No.17724060]

>>17723938
>Please feel free to give any other suggestions, more so if you have any points on why a pastebin might be good and what not.
Pastebin is a bit outdated imo. It's only text with almost no formatting so it gets hard to read. Having images or better formatting makes it a lot less tedious to read, many people will never click on links to whatever documentation a thread may have let alone one that's not easy to read. Version control is also not great.
If you're going to share the original document, a pdf with links to chapter/recipe pages in the index is great but requires you to export/compile a new one after changes. If you're going to make a new place for people to read it, hackmd and google docs both support jumping to certain parts from an index on the left side of the screen. Obviously all of these 3 options support pretty good formatting and with each there are ways for other people to collaborate on your project with good version control so you can roll back should some troll ruin it.

[Anonymous No.17724091]

Every ingredient that should be purchased at the self-checkout and rung up as baking potatoes should be bolded and italicized.

There should be a “how to make your cum taste better” section

Also,
>rustic grilled cheese with kimchi
>how to hard boil sea tortoise eggs
>instructions for how to order at a restaurant
>the serving size of egg dishes should be “all”

[Anonymous No.17724153]

What about desserts OP?
Am a pastry chef in training, have some good stuff.

[Anonymous No.17724226]

We should add some recipes from /ourguy/

[Anonymous No.17724291]

>>17724226
Be the change you wanna see, but yeh throwing in some jack/kay/cobra shit would be funny I think.

>>17724153
Oh shit please do add stuff, again ideally with a photo attached and detailed. I'm happy to throw in a baking recipe or two from my own recipes to fill it out but I would love other baker Anons to add stuff.

[Anonymous No.17724303]

>>17724091
"How to order at a restuant, a guide for gay autistics."

>>17724060
Hackmd, never heard of it but will write it down for sure, i'd like to try and put it in as many places as I can because I get some Anon don't wanna use google and what not. I might bug an IT friend to do some of the click to go to chapter stuff but if not i'll fill it in lol.

[Anonymous No.17724307]

>>17724001
The more content the better man, some stuff I feel I will have to cut out so having as much stuff to look at the better.

[Anonymous No.17724341]

>>17720838
I grew up on sloppa. My mom used to call it "mish mosh"

[Anonymous No.17724362]

Injectable Estradiol Cypionate
Preparation
Prepare a fairly deep bowl of isopropyl alcohol (anything at or above 70%) and place glass vials, rubber stoppers, and caps in it. They should be in the bath for a good 30 minutes before taken out to fully dry.
Autoclave/pressure cook vials materials (caps, seals, vials) at 15 psi for 15+ minutes. This small guide is a helpful resource for approaching that. Even plastic flip top caps shouldn’t melt, since temperatures shouldn’t exceed 250 degrees fahrenheit.
Sterilize glassware including beaker, glass stirring rod, graduated cylinder, etc. This pastebin is a good guide in regards to the many ways you can go about doing that. Just making sure materials are clear of particles and sanitized via alcohol wipes would be another approach. General glassware sterilization isn't as important as vial sterilization but should still be done.
Sanitize your area lab area with alcohol wipes and make sure you have plenty of room and are not in a particularly dusty environment.
Optional: Don gloves and/or other protective gear. This includes your still air box if necessary.
Measure
Place weighing tray or glass watch on scale, and then tare to 0. Gently scoop or pour estradiol cypionate powder onto glass watch/weighing tray until the scale reads 1 gram. Put contents into borosilicate glass beaker.
Measure out 12.5ml of benzyl benzoate into graduated cylinder and pour into beaker.
Measure out 1ml of benzyl alcohol via a 3ml syringe and shoot into beaker. Another ml or so can be added if you want extra assurance on long term storage.
Measure out 36.5ml of MCT oil into graduated cylinder and pour into beaker.
(1/?)

[Anonymous No.17724364]

>>17724303
You can use this source for a hackmd page of a /g/ thread as an example, it was posted a while ago after the last guy who worked on it quit updating so somebody else could pick up from there. It doesn't use all the features but it shows enough to make a fairly readable page. https://pastebin.com/NfRFMAE7
There's also a tutorials page on hackmd that's pretty straightforward. https://hackmd.io/c/tutorials

[Anonymous No.17724366]

>>17724362
Mix
Prepare a small saucepan of water that can submerge beaker to at least halfway up. Place pan on burner and start heating up toward a boil. This is known as a water bath.
While water is heating up, place beaker into water bath and stir with glass stirring rod until fully dissolved.
When water gets to a boil, leave beaker in the water bath for 30 minutes, and then remove from heat. I leave the beaker in the saucepan.
Filter
Fill 60ml syringe with 50ml full of the mixture once it cools down for a good 5 minutes or so.
Unwrap sterile syringe filter and attach to 60ml syringe.
Make sure the luer slip filter output is over vial and push down on syringe until 10ml of fluid has gone through. Keep in mind that it’s pretty easy to break these filters, so don’t push too hard on the plunger.
Just a note, this could take upwards of an hour or two. Syringe filters are slow, and if you have arms as weak as mine, you may want to get a lab partner to switch out with every so often.
Repeat until the beaker/syringe is empty. Note that you will lose a small bit of fluid to the syringe filter.
Bottle
Place rubber stopper on each filled vial.
Place aluminum cap on each filled vial. Make sure that the cap is on evenly before moving on to crimping.
Slowly move crimper over vial, making sure to touch the cap as little as possible. Squeeze the crimper handles tightly together. Here’s a quick video showing all these steps off.
I would recommend testing your crimper out on empty bottles and tightening the head if needed. This can be done by squeezing the crimper together, and twisting the prongs on the head when they’re together. I would do at least one or two test crimps before trying it on the real deal.
(2/?)

[Anonymous No.17724372]

>>17724366
Sterilize
To preface, this section is very open ended. My method is a mixture of wet and dry heat sterilization with dry heat being used at this end step as an extra measure.
Preheat oven to 275 degrees fahrenheit. You can go higher if using pure aluminium vial seals, but you shouldn’t exceed ~325 degrees fahrenheit, since your rubber stoppers will start to melt and deform.
Place crimped vials on an oven tray (place in oil bath if you don’t trust your oven to heat evenly)
Leave in oven overnight (6+ hours) and remove.
For best shelf life, store in a dry, dark place.
Intake (helpful pregame guide)
Screw on 22 gauge needle to syringe. Never reuse syringes or needles!
Pull back plunger to desired dose of 0.25ml.
Pierce rubber on vial and flip it upside down, making sure the needle is submerged.
Quickly push air out of the syringe. This is known as aspirating.
Pull back plunger until you have a decent bit over 0.25ml of fluid in your syringe.
With the vial still upside down, push the plunger until it’s at 0.25ml on the graduation lines. Flick away any air bubbles while you do this for that extra sexy nurse flair. This is an extra step to make sure that you’re injecting the precise amount, and that no air is in your syringe.
Replace 22 gauge needle with 25 gauge.
Sanitize injection area with alcohol wipe. This can be thigh, buttocks, arm, etc. I recommend the vastus lateralis muscle (outer side of the middle thigh). If you don’t have alcohol wipes, I’ve found that rubbing alcohol poured on a paper towel works fine.
(3/3)

[Anonymous No.17724405]

>>17720804
I would like to specifically request that you include a section on cooking whole poultry. The popular wisdom on the subject is absolutely backwards. The correct method is HOT AND FAST, NOT LOW AND SLOW! You should dedicate a whole page to this fact alone.

Why: most people's chicken and turkey comes out dry. So what do they do: lower the heat and cook it slower. They for some reason think that low and slow makes it more moist, I guess because they think beef braise rules apply to baked chicken, and every time it's dry, and they keep doubling down. They make even do more wrong things such as basting, which not only makes it drier (because you're letting the heat out of the oven, making it lower and slower) but also makes the skin not be crispy anymore. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

All poultry should be cooked using the following method: preheat oven to 450, thermometer in, and then cook the thing until the thermometer says the inside is 160.

[Anonymous No.17724436]

>>17724405
I'll also contribute my easy recipe for a baked Cornish hen. This is basically the ground floor example for a poultry recipe, nothing crazy in here, just the absolute basics which the reader can modify in many ways.

>Preheat oven to 450
>In a cast iron pan, put down a layer of onions to cover the bottom
>Put the hen on top of the onion layer (twine his feet)
>Drizzle it with olive oil, salt and pepper, lemon juice
>Optional: crushed red pepper flakes, paprika, cayenne
>Bake it at 450 until the deepest part of the bird is at 160
>Take it out
>The bottom of the pan will be full of brown caramel juice, which you pour on the top
>Serves one

[Anonymous No.17724440]

Any interest in Italian curry sloppa?

[Anonymous No.17724444]

>>17724440
No thank you

[Anonymous No.17724471]

>>17720804
Can someone please do these recipes for me

>Black forest gateua
>Jumbalaya
>All kinds of stews

Also can we get a physical release? I prefer reading and having physical stuff, it'll make me more likely to cook it. I'll pay £20.

[Anonymous No.17724494]

>>17724471
Do you have a printer?

[Anonymous No.17724501]

>>17724291
Ok cool

[Anonymous No.17724502]

>>17724494
Yes

[Anonymous No.17724508]

>>17724501
2/?

[Anonymous No.17724509]

>>17724502
you've got a physical copy on tap pal

[Anonymous No.17724522]

>>17724508
3/?

[Anonymous No.17724526]

>>17724509
I'll make one and make a front cover, introduction and blurb. Then I will share it on here and get /ck/ famous

[Anonymous No.17724531]

>>17724307
Okay, I'll have pics for them next time I cook them if you want

EXTREMELY SHITTY NOODLE BOWL INGREDIENTS (good while intoxicated)
>1 bunch of noodles (I buy pic related usually)
>1 jalapeno
>1/3-1/2lb pork country ribs, chopped into small chunks
>1/2 package mushrooms, chopped
>1/4-1/2 onion (white or yellow), chopped
>Soy sauce, I eyeball it so maybe 1.5tbs?
>Garlic paste, 1 clove worth
>Ginger paste, equivalent amount to garlic
>Sambal, 2tsp
>Worcestershire (yes I fucking know it's a shitty meal) 1/4tsp
>Some kind of Asian cooking vinegar, 1tsp
>Mirin, 1tsp
>Sesame oil, I also eyeball it so ~1/3tsp
>As many dried Thai chilies as you want, or pepper flakes

PROCEDURE
>Boil water, add noodles
>put all the veggies and Thai chilies in a pan, sear on med-hi with oil, chop meat and put in as well
>Get a good sear on the veggies and pork, midway through add garlic and ginger, add mushrooms near end
>Add the liquid ingredients, like soy sauce mirin etc, stir well and let simmer on low heat until noodles are ready
>Drain noodles when they are slightly before ready, they finish cooking in the pan
>Add noodles to frying pan, stir and incorporate sauce/meat/veggies to noodles
>Drink with beer

[Anonymous No.17724541]

>>17723534
Then how would you make it asshole

[Anonymous No.17724583]

>>17724522
4/4

[Anonymous No.17724609]

>>17723108
do you add back the quarter of potato you scoop out?

[Anonymous No.17724617]

I forward the motion that we call it "Cooking with Autism."

[Anonymous No.17724639]

>>17724617
How about "Adam Ragusea and /ck/'s cook-book"

[Anonymous No.17724647]

>>17724639
>>17724617
“The Dinotendies Bible: Cooking and Living with Autism”

[Anonymous No.17724655]

>>17720844
off to a good start

[Anonymous No.17724656]

>>17724609
Ah, yeah, it's just a way of doing 3:1 ratio, which might be closer to 4:1 as I don't fill it in to the brim.

[Anonymous No.17724657]

>>17720844
Can we have a recipe for tossed salads and scrambled eggs?

[Anonymous No.17725117]

I took the photos you asked, this was the best in my opinion, my grandma helped with the arrangements

Brazillian Anon's Pancakes:
Ingredients:
>1 egg
>1/2 a tea cup of milk
>1 spoon (soup) of vegetable oil
>1 tea cup of wheat flour
>1 spoon (coffee) of salt
>1 tea spoon of baking powder

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl, starting by the dry and then the liquids, ending with the egg, Sift the flour to make the dough softer.
Mix them until a dough is formed, it should have a very bright yellow color. if it is too soft (liquid) add more sifted flour, if its too rought, add more milk.
Heat up a frying pan with a little bit of oil, with or without the help of a spoon, pour the dought into the pan (preferebly into a circular shape) and let it sit for a few minutes on medium-low heat. Once one side is golden brown, flip it carefully and wait for the other side.
Good served alongside honey, jam or sprinkled with cinnamon

[Anonymous No.17725214]

Alright lads I'll contriboot this is 1/? Depending how much I can be arsed.

PBH Toast
Simple pre workout snack:
Ingredients
>Bread
>Peanut Butter
>Honey
>Banana

Method
>toast bread
>spread peanut butter
>slice banana on top
>drizzle honey on

Basic Bitch Meal:
First meal I made up on my own
Ingredients
>Chorizo (amount depending on how much you fat cunts want)
>1 red pepper
>1 yellow pepper
>1 onion
>2 cloves of garlic
>Pasta (amount by your belly size)
>1 can of chopped tomatos
>Tomato Puree
>Oregano
>Salt
>Pepper
>Nutmeg
>butter


Method:
>dice onion and garlic, fry with oil and butter
>slice peppers and add in once onion is translucent
>add in sliced chorizo
>boil pasta, make sure your water is salty as fuck. Dont be a retard and add oil nobody wants to be embarrassed watching that
>once veg is soft add in tomato can
>flavour with puree, salt, pepper, nutmeg and oregano
>once pasta is cooked add into sauce
>simmer for a few minutes
>add flavourings until youre happy
>serve
If you fuck this up then why are you cooking without your tard wrangler

Babbys first icecream
Simple ice cream recipe and spastic can do, dont need any shit machine either
Ingredients
>sweetened condensed milk
>double cream
>any shit you want to stick in I usually use oreos

Method
>mix sweetened condensed milk and double cream you want a roughly 1:1 ratio into a mixing bowl
>whisk it to fuck till its thick
>add in your shit
>pour into a container
>freeze for 3 hours
>serve
Alter your ratio of milk to cream to alter the flavour depending how sweet/creamy you want it.

[Anonymous No.17725273]

>>17724647
co/ck/s and cu/ck/s - A Somewhat Edible History

[Anonymous No.17725302]

>>17724405
I think since so many Anons have their own pearls of wisdom to share it might be smart to have a section dedicatd to that type of stuff, half good advice half angry screaming into the void and have your infomation added in that area. That or you redo your chicken recipe and go on a tangent about it there (perfectly fine.)

As a dumb sidething, I wish more homecooks were aware about carry overheat and you don't need the bird to hit 75c/165f having it lower and staying at that heat for a bit is just as safe.

[Anonymous No.17725307]

>>17724440
Yes please, we gotta be INTERNATIONAL.

[Anonymous No.17725313]

>>17724471
>>17724526
My main motivation is to have it be a physical copy, of course make a free online PDF. There are plenty of decent print on demand companies that do good work, one I took note of did the /lit/ group effort book.

If you have any ideas for front covers, introduction, blurbs feel free to share please.

[Anonymous No.17725320]

>>17724531
That would be perfect, if you would't mind could you also copy the same post you did but with the attached photo, I think a cool style might legit just be copying people's posts for how they are.

Why I was a bit hesitant of getting recipes just yet since I was using the thread as a test ground but am shocked how many people want to work on it lol

[Anonymous No.17725334]

>>17724583
>>17724501
>>17724508
>>17724522
I have to ask about the flour ratio, is it so hyper speific like your baguette calls for 567g, is this because you are deviding a bulk recipe down for personal use or is it being hyper autistic with dough hydration? I find with my doughs I tend to just round the numbers up or down even if it throws off the hydration percent by a percent or two lol.

All saved, I will probably mock repost what you say in the next thread and screen shot it, so it looks like a normal CK post. If you have any photos I could use to attached i'd also love that.

[Anonymous No.17725341]

>>17724617
>>17724639
>>17724647
I think in the next thread I will add alot more info including a space to add suggestions for book titles and the like, i'll save these and auto add em and once it's all do a group vote.

[Anonymous No.17725344]

>>17725117
Thank you so much Anon, gonna crop out the "i took the photos" part just because it will look really odd but this is PERFECT, thank you for the effort.

[Anonymous No.17725355]

>>17725214
Thanks alot man, unless you want to I will end up making a post each for these to make it look more "authentic" since I think a good formatting might be stright up using the posts themselves in the book and adding shit around it to make it look nicer.

[Anonymous No.17725361]

Wasn't this tried back in the '010s and it produced an absolute shitshow of foul bachelor food like "meatbread" and "mug brownies"

[Anonymous No.17725366]

based.cooking already exists

[Anonymous No.17725406]

>>17725334
Its my recipes from class, I think its the percentage of dough hydration, but if its off like a few grams its nbd

[Anonymous No.17725423]

>>17725406
If they were given to you by the class i'd really like to know if it's legit hydration work out or them being lazy and just cutting down big recipes lol.

>>17725361
Meatbread sounds awsome but man im glad the mug brownie trend is dead.

[Anonymous No.17725424]

I edit cookbooks and other things for a living, if you need an editor.

[Anonymous No.17725471]

>>17725424
I'd love any help later for sure Anon.

Editing and what not will probably be towards the end and happy to take on any help, but for now mind just suggesting any ideas you have that makes a good cookbook?

[Anonymous No.17725484]

>>17725355
No worries anon, its a good idea and good luck collating it all

[Anonymous No.17725486]

/ck/ tip #28:
Don't hold the pointy side, retard.

[Anonymous No.17725512]

>>17725471
Others here would know better than me. Most ones I see focus on a particular cuisine, a special diet for health reasons, some sort of media tie-in, a celebrity chef or magazine/org, or are weird hybrid self-help/cooking books. Unfortunately, ours would sell best as a wacky 4channel cultural artifact, so including things like sundae ramen would be ideal.

[Anonymous No.17725524]

>>17723084
it is in fact my own photo, you can use it.

[Anonymous No.17725535]

It needs a section debunking the cast iron meme once and for all

[Anonymous No.17725548]

There should be a "guest chef" section with recipes from other boards, like beef marinaded in Hoppes #9 for /k/ or a plate of fresh cigarette ash for /pol/.

[Anonymous No.17725551]

>>17725214
2/? A follow up post because this thread is actually good

Banana sandwich - a sandwich perfect for the tard you're currently wrangling
Ingredients
>2 slices of bread
>butter
>1 banana

Method
>butter bread
>mash up banana
>put it in between the bread

Hollandaise sauce - a basic sauce any faggot should learn as its so fucking easy

Ingredients
>2 egg yolks
>125g butter
>pepper
>chilli powder
>1/2 teaspoon white wine vinegar
>lemon juice (amount depending on taste)

Method:
>heat some water on low in a pan
>put egg yolks into a mixing bowl
>melt butter in a separate bowl
>add vinegar to egg yolks
>whisk to fuck
>keep fucking over the heat
>whisk until its thick and creamy
>slowly add in butter
>keep fucking whisking
>add salt, spices and lemon to the sauce
>whisk some more

Your arm should hurt like a vigorous wank session but you need it to be thick and creamy.

Healthy /fit/fag meal - Salmon, Kale and Egg

Ingredients
>salmon steaks
>kale
>eggs
>lemon
>salt n pepper

Method:
>in a pan slowly warm water up to boiling
>in a frying pan start frying the kale
>add a small amount of oil so it doesnt burn
>do this until it wilts
>take out then fry salmon
>add salt and pepper prior to frying
>fry skin down until its changes colour
>add lemon
>while this is going on add a lot of salt to the water in the pan
>i mean it needs to be saltier than a white marine coming back to his black son
>swirl water
>add in eggs for poaching
>keep an eye until they firm up
>remove
>serve

[Anonymous No.17725553]

4 teaspoons smoked paprika
2 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
2 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
1 packet of Sazon Goya Culantro y Achiote stuff

I use this for burgers

[Anonymous No.17725554]

No thanks. Being productive is peak reddit.

[Anonymous No.17725562]

>>17725486
These should be interspersed on the sides of pages

>>17720804
#/CK/ tip 29 if you hate the people you are cooking for feel free to spit, sneeze, fart and jizz into the food

[Anonymous No.17725580]

>>17725486

[Anonymous No.17725587]

>>17725423
>>17725406
It's imperial to metric in a lazy way. 567g = 20 oz.
Hydration can never be prescribed that precisely because atmospheric fluctuation leads to varying hydration in the flour itself. You always have to fine tune hydration visually.

[Anonymous No.17725612]

>>17725562
I like that idea, having em spread out maybe.

>>17725524
DAMN, that's a good fucking photo.Sorry for assuming it wasn't just others were taken.

[Anonymous No.17725615]

>>17725548
I like this idea, maybe go to another board and make a thread to get just one recipe of em before its taken down.

[Anonymous No.17725643]

>>17725551
3/? Prime sloppa time

Beer mac n cheese
Are you plastered and want mac n cheese?
Ingredients
>beer
>milk
>garlic
>cheese
>macaroni
>butter

Method
>melt butter
>fry garlic
>add milk n butter
>add macaroni
>leave until macaroni is cooked or you wake up again
>grate cheese into it
>bake in oven
>enjoy

All in stew
All you have is canned shit, try an all in stew
Ingredients this is good for using up cans from your most recent innawoods trip and you dont want to carry it back
>those unopened cans from 2007
>salt
>pepper
>whatever shit you have in the cupboard

Method
>put it all in a pan
>keep adding sauces and shit until it tastes okay
>eat

Drink shit
50/50 fancy gin
You too can pretend you have a date with a grill
>go to the shop
>buy a fruity gin
>buy elderflower tonic
>buy mixed berries
>carry it all home and think about why you dont have a date
>in a glass mix gin to tonic in a 1:1 ratio
>add in fruit
>try not to cry into it
>enjoy 50/50

[Anonymous No.17725651]

>>17725643
Added B)

[Anonymous No.17725665]

1 jug grape-cranberry juice cocktail
1 pkg active dry yeast

drink some of the juice, then add the yeast and stir
store uncovered for 3 weeks
chug the nasty slop and try not to vomit
get the shits

[Anonymous No.17725702]

its not an actual /ck/ cookbook without dishwasher salmon

[Anonymous No.17725713]

>>17725702
or corn on pizza

[Anonymous No.17725720]

>>17720804
neat

[Anonymous No.17725734]

>>17725344
no problem OP, I may submit another recipe

[Anonymous No.17725735]

>>17720825
Modernist Sloppa

[Anonymous No.17725772]

>>17725302
>wisdom section
That would be funny if you juxtapose contradictory advice. Like one tip is a spergout about how chicken should be cooked at 450, then the next tip is a spergout about how chicken should be cooked at 350

[Anonymous No.17725807]

>>17721330
Needs to be finished with Oaxaca cheese and served with tortillas to be mexican.

[Anonymous No.17726071]

Get a 1.5l jug
>2 dark beers (min 5% alc, not stout)
>150-200ml of cordial (raspberry)
>2 berocca sport i think its called because it has caffine and guarna
>200ml of vodka
>A crushed up caffine tablet.
>Fill with ice.
I have the recipe written down at home and ill come back and make sure i didnt get it wrong but its a drink I like before i go for a night out.
Name suggestions?

[Anonymous No.17726100]

>>17720804
How about a toothpaste, orange juice and breyers milkshake?

[Anonymous No.17726114]

>>17720804
I'll be gay and help out

Here's my recipe for a easy-to-make, perfect homemade bolognese sauce to be used in pizza, pasta, etc.

Doomer's Late-Night Italian Fantasy Sauce

Ingredients
>28 oz canned roma tomatoes san marzano style
>12 oz water
>2 tbsp of olive oil
>5 garlic cloves diced
>2 tsp red chili pepper flakes
>1.5 lbs of 80/20 ground beef
>1 cup of parmesan cheese
>3 splashes of Tapatio Hot Sauce
>lots of salt
>2 tbsp black pepper
>1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
>2 tbsp oregano
>2 tbsp marjoram
>2 tbsp rosemary
>2 tbsp thyme
>1 tbsp fennel seeds

Sauce preparation
>Heat up large saucepan to medium-high
>throw in garlic and chili flakes
>roast until they are both light brown
>add tomatoes to pan, save can
>swish 12 oz water around in can to get last residue of tomatoes and throw that into pan as well
>start adding salt
>once sauce is bubbling, add in 1 tbsp of all seasonings
>IMPORTANT STEP: ADD 3 SPLASHES OF TAPATIO. BELIEVE ME FAGGOTS. The sauce adds a perfect amount of extra spice and acidity
>mix everything together, turn to medium low heat and let simmer for 20-30 mins

Meat preparation
>while sauce is simmering heat up medium saucepan to medium heat
>add in olive oil and ground beef
>add remaining seasonings and do not forget the fennel seeds!
>once meat is starting to brown add in 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese
>mix everything and cook until meat is completely brown

Last steps
>use slotted spoon to then add the meat in with the sauce
>add the last 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese to the sauce
>add extra salt as necessary
Use for pizza or dump over some pasta

There ya go boys, you may be a KHV doomer watching vidya jewtube at midnight but at least you'll have a good dinner

[Anonymous No.17726115]

>>17726071
The high and low

[Anonymous No.17726120]

>>17726071
>>17726115
the inter-tidal zone

[Anonymous No.17726125]

Tuna and Noodle Sloppa (perfected over three generations of poor college students in my family)

Ingredients:

German egg noodles (penne is a permissible substitution)
2 cans of tuna IN OIL
1 half can cream of mushroom soup
Frozen peas
Italian seasoning
Bread crumbs
Cayenne pepper
----------------------------------------
1. Cook the noodles very al dente, drain, add back to pot
2. Add both cans of tuna with the oil from the tin
3. Pour in the small can of cream of mushroom soup
4. Add two small handfuls of frozen peas, salt and pepper to taste, and a scant tablespoon of italian seasoning
5. mix gently (don't break the noodles) and transfer into a casserole dish
6. cover the top with breadcrumbs and a dusting of cayenne

Bake in a 400F oven until the top begins to brown (5-10 minutes)

Serve!

It will keep in the fridge for several days, and reheats well in the oven.

[Anonymous No.17726127]

>>17726114
here's a slightly better pic

[Anonymous No.17726129]

>>17726125
^I forgot to edit the top bit. You can either use one of the small cans of cream of mushroom soup, or half a large can

[Anonymous No.17726141]

[Anonymous No.17726145]

>>17726114
Ah shit forgot a few ingredients
>2 tbsp garlic powder
>2 tbsp onion powder
>2 tbsp chili powder
Only add those to the meat!

[Anonymous No.17726147]

>>17726141
I’d still buy it

[Anonymous No.17726155]

>>17726141
I miss late 00s early 10s 4chan so much bros... :(

[Anonymous No.17726162]

>>17726141
Legendary, make this the opening page

[Anonymous No.17726220]

no fermentation/pickling recipes yet?

Milk Kefir Guide:
>obtain kefir grains if possible, make sure they're alive
>if not, attempts with store bought kefir milk is also feasible, but not likely to be as efficient
>once in your possession, allow the kefir grains to cycle through 2-3 small batches of milk before using
>when grains are ready, mix your grains and your milk together in a non-air tight jar
>ratio is not exactly important as long as you have half cup's worth for a litre, but it will influence how quickly a batch matures
>leave it out overnight (or until the next night) to ferment
>once ready, filter out grains, and refrigerate the milk kefir
>grains should be stored separately, suspended in milk at low temperatures (do not freeze)
>enjoy as you would use plain set yoghurt, albeit with less decadence to avoid "shitting your brains out"

>Recommendations:
>use as savoury dressing or dip: mix in some salt, pepper and dried herb of choice
>make laban: dilute 50% with cold water, add a pinch of salt, garnish with either fresh mint or cucumber
>coping with lactose intolerance: mix 1/3 kefir and 2/3 milk, take daily to establish gut flora

>To determine if kefir is successful:
>kefir should split into whey and curds like yoghurt when ready
>texture should be chunky and thick, but still somewhat runny
>gooey texture is also possible, but it should still be edible if tastes right
>flavours should not be alcoholic, vinegary or fishy
>flavour should retain most of the original milk flavour in addition to a refreshing, fermented taste, like a more intense yoghurt

[Anonymous No.17726228]

>>17726220
>To cycle the grains:
>place the grains in a small container, and cover them with just enough milk
>then leave overnight on the counter, and discard the milk the next day
>or scarf it down if you're willing to brave the explosive bowel movement
>once your grains are ready, the cycled milk should taste like kefir according to the above descriptions
>if after several attempts, and the cycled milk still tastes like feet or ejaculate, you have either fucked up and killed your grains, or your roommate has been wanking into your food

>To check if your grains are still alive:
>rinse them in a sieve under gentle running water
>hold some up to a light and observe the shape, turgidity and brittleness
>healthy grains will have springy textures, and should not disintegrate so easily in your fingers, nor should they dissolve into running water
>if still unsure, cycle them, and check the quality of the cycled milk as per prior instructions

also, please make the foreword a derivation of picrel

[Anonymous No.17726235]

Churchill martini: pour gin into a glass. Drink while looking wistfully in the general direction of France.

[Anonymous No.17726266]

>>17726228
wait I meant to post this

[Anonymous No.17726688]

>>17726127

[Anonymous No.17726753]

I just wanted to use this thread to say hi, I'm anon. I've been on 4chan since 2011 and usually browse /pw/, /v/, /pol/ (but I won't discuss politics here) and I gotta say I think I'm gonna like this board and contribute to it in a positive way. Hello, everyone! I will not tripfag or avatarfag so you'll hardly notice me. That is all.

[Anonymous No.17726773]

>>17726753
Also wanted to add, I've worked in alcohol for many years, love steak and cheeseburgers, grilling, smoking and meat in general so I'll be sticking to threads that discuss those. I am damn good on the grill but not a 5 star chef by any means.

[Anonymous No.17726777]

>>17726773
One last thing, what's the board culture like here? Is this a faster or slower board?

[Anonymous No.17726828]

>>17720854
>Store-bought kek

>>17722548
How does he get out?

[Anonymous No.17726835]

>>17726777
Sir, this is a McChiken enthusiast forum.

[Anonymous No.17726845]

>>17726835
As long as I get three mcchicken sauces for free I'll stick around.
For me though, it's the double quarter pounder with cheese, a mcchicken and a mcdouble for later and a medium fry with coke.

[Anonymous No.17726846]

>>17726777
/ck/ is one of the faster boards on 4channel

[Anonymous No.17726849]

>>17726846
been browsing for about 30 minutes and I've noticed that. That's good though. slow boards are the worst. I hate waiting days to shitpost with frens.

[Anonymous No.17726861]

>>17726849
/ck/ is peak comfy board so don't fuck it up

[Anonymous No.17726908]

>>17726688
thanks friendo

[Anonymous No.17726914]

>>17720804
I have the /ck/ spice guide

[Anonymous No.17726920]

>>17726914

[Anonymous No.17726925]

>>17726920

[Anonymous No.17726929]

>>17726925

[Anonymous No.17726936]

>>17726929

[Anonymous No.17726938]

>>17726861
Nah, I'm not a shitposter. I'm an overly supportive anon. This is despite /pw/, /sp/ and /pol/ being my main boards. I'm genuinely here out of interest for food and alcohol over just seeing what's going in the world of sports, politics and pro wrestling. I rarely post but this place does seem comfy and like I can actually discuss food instead of threads turning into fighting over irrelevant shit.

[Anonymous No.17726940]

>>17726936

[Anonymous No.17726944]

>>17726940

[Anonymous No.17726946]

>>17726938
>instead of threads turning into fighting over irrelevant shit
anon I...

[Anonymous No.17726948]

>>17726944

[Anonymous No.17726952]

>>17726948

[Anonymous No.17726959]

>>17726952

[Anonymous No.17726960]

Top ramen
Choose which one you like, chicken and spicy are the best.
Measure 2 cups of water, put in saucepan, bring to a boil.
Put the ramen in the boiling water and set the time to 3 minutes, stir the ramen.
Once the timer is up pour the flavor packet into the pan and mix, then pour into bowl.

[Anonymous No.17726966]

>>17726946
Shit, what's wrong with the McChicken?

[Anonymous No.17726967]

>>17726959

[Anonymous No.17726973]

>>17726967

[Anonymous No.17726978]

>>17726973

[Anonymous No.17726984]

>>17726978

[Anonymous No.17726986]

>>17726938
Cook alongs, and cool threads like this are the main comfy zones on ck. Lots of dunning kruger effects, the accessibility and necessity of cooking means many many stupid threads and stupid posters, but that's just 4channel for you. I guess.

[Anonymous No.17726987]

>>17726960
Can you really just crack an egg into Ramen and it'll cook itself? I feel like I've seen it done but I'd be too worried it won't cook right. The worst part is I'm 30 and asking this.
To get back to the matter of the thread, I nominate my favorite stoner/drunk food.

Deep fried stacks of pepperoni slices.
stack like 5 Pep slices and dredge them.
fry them in pan until you're satisfied
mix sour cream, and cream cheese together for sauce and add whatever other sauces you think would go good with it (like hot sauce)
garnish if you want

[Anonymous No.17726988]

>>17726938
This guy probably can't even define what a burger is

[Anonymous No.17726989]

>>17726984

[Anonymous No.17726992]

>>17726989

[Anonymous No.17726996]

>>17726992

[Anonymous No.17727000]

>>17726996

[Anonymous No.17727004]

>>17727000

[Anonymous No.17727005]

>>17726988
I'll take a stab at it.

>a dish consisting of a round patty of ground beef, or sometimes another savory ingredient, that is fried or grilled and typically served in a split bun or roll with various condiments and toppings

that's the google answer but I think quality of meat and toppings make the burger. I prefer using a food processor and using steak to make my own ground beef. So a patty or two of that (Done smash style is my preference) with nothing more than a slice of quality cheese IS a burger. I wanna see some lettuce or tomato or maybe avocado or bacon too. It's gotta have mayo too. I am american. I need Mayo.

[Anonymous No.17727008]

>>17727004

[Anonymous No.17727009]

>>17727004
These are really insightful. Thanks for posting them fren.

[Anonymous No.17727014]

>>17727008

[Anonymous No.17727015]

>>17726986
Ah, I gotcha. Thanks m8!

[Anonymous No.17727016]

>>17727014
and that's the end of the spice guide from way back in 2009 or some shit

>>17727009
no problem, I'd have posted the PDF but can't do that on 4chins

[Anonymous No.17727018]

>>17726987
Yes you can, it turns out like a soft boiled egg, not hard boiled.

[Anonymous No.17727051]

Newfag to /ck/ here again. What's the boards general take on grilling and smoking? That's what I really wanna talk about. I saw one thread in the category about steak but it seemed to fizzle out.

[Anonymous No.17727275]

>>17726987
the heat from the noodles cooks the egg

>>17727051
lurk moar and find out

[Anonymous No.17727286]

>>17725548
/k/ should be represented by the Anon's legendary Cum Brownies

[Anonymous No.17727337]

>>17727275
I saw this years ago but I always forget to save it. Thanks anon.

[Anonymous No.17727383]

>>17722089
For me, it's the McChicken.

[Anonymous No.17727403]

>>17725772
There is nothing more fitting than this. If that section gets made, I hope it's formatted that way.

[Anonymous No.17727421]

>>17720804
I am semi shitposting but how about pic related?

[Anonymous No.17727565]

>>17727051
smoking generals are very comfy, so long as you're only discussing tobacco.

[Anonymous No.17727575]

I'm gonna start writing a few recipes down for this project, please keep the thread up for the next few days

[Anonymous No.17727626]

>>17721194
Vegan pie

>honey

I hope that was done on purpose hahaha

[Anonymous No.17727681]

>>17725423
We made them in class, and they turned out great, pic related.

[Anonymous No.17727723]

Didn't you guys already have a cookbook website and a scrapper that automatically submit your post here to the database?

[Anonymous No.17727857]

>>17727575
We're at 289 replies already, we'll keep do a new thread though most likely

[Anonymous No.17727860]

Im petitioning the useless jannies to sticky these threads

[Anonymous No.17727909]

>>17727860
fuck off

[Anonymous No.17727993]

>>17723769
When you collect the recipes you could make a thread for those that dont have pictures and anons can cook and take pictures for the /ck/book. You/we should probably make a template to show what kind of pictures we need (potato quality cant be printed, etc. etc.)

[Anonymous No.17728029]

>>17727860
>jannies can make a sticky
jannies clean up poop, not make stickies.

[Anonymous No.17728032]

>>17724541
Not the same anon, but it strikes me as wrong too. I've never seen a dish like that start with roux. You usally finish a dish with roux, or adding fluor to sauteed veg stirring a bit, then adding liquid to make sauce, or flouring meat before frying then adding liquid to make sauce.

[Anonymous No.17728140]

>>17727993
sounds like a good idea, id b down for that

[Anonymous No.17728270]

I've been shilling the same two recipes for months, so why stop now..
#37 The best ever liver recipe
>Flour the liver ( I preffer chicken)
>Pan fry in shallow oil
>Season with salt
>Add milk
>Stirr few minutes 'till sauce becomes thick
>Serve with fresh diced onion and bread
#89 "This is how we eat spinach" spinach
>Sautee garlic
>Add chopped blanched spinach
>Stirr for a minute
>Add few tsp of flour
>Stirr more
>Pour milk
>More stirring
>Season with salt

*You can substitute spinach with peas, if so, add dill near the end.

[Anonymous No.17728306]

>>17728032
It's a uniquely cajun thing, as far as I'm aware. They start by frying a bunch of flour in oil until it's chocolate dark, then add the vegetables.

[Anonymous No.17728338]

>>17726966
What isn't wrong with the McChicken?

[Anonymous No.17728343]

>>17725702
Feel free to write up a recipe and post it.

>>17725772
Haha, yeh I like that idea.

>>17726114
THANK YOU.>>17726127

[Anonymous No.17728358]

>>17726220
>>17726228
This some good info, thank you.

>>17726753
Hello Anon : )))
>>17726777
The board is so slow I feel we had like a 10% infection rate from the coofdid april fools event.

[Anonymous No.17728359]

>>17723064
Cheap, easy and healthy meals? Shit like 4 ingredient spaghet. Some useful reciepies would be nice.

[Anonymous No.17728364]

>>17727286
I think in the next thread i'll add a place to dump suggestions like these, I really like the idea of guest chiefs.

[Anonymous No.17728372]

we need to analyze the surly king of the egg fort sandwich, figure out exactly what he's adding, and put that in the book

[Anonymous No.17728374]

>>17727421
Anything is good, partly wish this first thread didn't take off as well since i'd really like the focus on, recipes being as word for word as the user gives em with the photo.

If you wanna write up the recipe in a post and show results, please do.

>>17727681
Oh sweet, i'll keep the pic saved. Making me wish I picked up bread school now.

[Anonymous No.17728376]

>>17727575
Again, feel free to email if the thread is down but the next thread should be alot, ALOT more fine tuned since now there is a much better idea of what people want over just "hey guys here is an idea,,, anyhelp???"

[Anonymous No.17728381]

>>17728270
Hah I think i've seen it a few times. Could you type it out again but with a photo attached? Ideally i'd like to keep the pages just as they were typed out so its as true to the posers intent as possible, only fixing some spelling mistakes and maybe editing out stuff like "here op" just because it would be odd to read that.

[Anonymous No.17728383]

Blueberry Brine (whole chicky)
>blueberries
>18-25oz expired ale
>buncha salt
>some dashes of worchestershure
>a little honey
>a few dashes of the spicy shit
>let her sit overnight, less if you want less fruit
someone post a beercan recipe

[Anonymous No.17728394]

>>17728306
Well, I'm just not sure what is accomplished by that, if you start with roux, there is a good chance it will stick to your pot(and start burning) the moment you look away and stop stirring for more than 5 seconds. While without the roux you could be cooking it for hours without it ever sticking to the bottom of whatever you are cooking in. Idk, just seems like a lot more work without actual benefit for the dish. Don't want to derail this great thread, but would love some cajun anon to pitch in with his/ her two cents.

[Anonymous No.17728420]

>>17720804
the Brass Monkey
>you will need: an Old English 40 oz. and orange juice
>drink 1/4th of the OE 40 oz.
>fill with orange juice to the top
>gently mix and serve

a Beastie Boys classic

[Anonymous No.17728430]

HELLO??? PLS HELP????

Ok so some ideas from this thread given by Anons that I will push in the next thread are.

>board culture as chapters, having sloppa being a section dedicated to sloppa along with drinks/baked good/ext ext

>advice and tips section, either as a chapter or sprinkled throughout the book, maybe with contradictory advice being placed next to or near each other

>guest chiefs, have a few out of /ck/ recipes from other boards

>classic ck section, well known crused /ck/ recipes alongside e-celeb stuff like kay/jack/cobra

If anyone has any other ideas for how to split the book up, or even just want to add to this by offering chapter name ideas please do, it would help alot and I wanna try and take on everyones ideas and then put em to a vote.

[Anonymous No.17728434]

>>17728381
Sorry editor-in-chief anon, I think I got ra(n)gebanned few years back probably for posting a single frog, can't upload pictures ever since, can't even complain to mods..or maybe it's 'coz i'm mostly phonefagging for the last couple of years..

[Anonymous No.17728437]

>>17728430
food art section, but I suppose that goes under board culture as a subsection

[Anonymous No.17728471]

>>17728434
It's cool dude. I'll try my best to make the recipe myself to snap a photo but if I do i'm sorry if I butcher it. Also can't you bitch in the please unban me mr4chan section of the fuckin FAQ.

[Anonymous No.17728479]

>>17728437
You got any more of these, I forget their fuckin names.

So far I was planning on having food art or other nice to look at things in the book as those kinda, fill in space pages you get with cookbooks, were the first picture is just some fuckin nice photo.

[Anonymous No.17728887]

>>17728479
That my friend, if I'm not mistaken, is not-so-rare /pol/bred nazi lemon pig. Formentioned animal is indigenous to the sad parts of /pol/, but due to it's low iq and general stubbornness, it tends to run away from it's containment. If you run into one, it's best to yell at it as much as possible; back to /pol/ you filthy swine usualy does the trick.

[Anonymous No.17728924]

>>17728471
Can't even access it with phone. Icbb with trying on pc 'till now, but this awsome bread might just make me try.
Also category idea: recipes you will most certainly fail at.

[Anonymous No.17728960]

Perhaps a section on easy recipes (if it hasn't been said already), but only incorrect methods:

Broccoli, Just like mom used to make

Ingredients:
Entire package of broccoli (can be subbed in for single head)
Water
Timer

Steps:
>Fill heavy bottomed saucepan with water
>Poorly chop head of broccoli or empty entire package into water
>Set burner to maximum heat
>Set timer to 13 minutes (Enough time for it to reach a boil and them some!!!)
>Hear timer. Disregard and watch television for an hour
>Return to boiled broc-broth. Strain, dumping nutrients down the drain.
>Serve

**Alternative: Steamed broccoli

Ingredients:
6-8 cups of pre-cut broccoli OR decent sized head of broccoli

Steps:
>Add 1" of water to pot (1 approximate w/ the first knuckle of my pointer finger)
>Place beans in steam basket and cover w/ lid (You can also jerry-rig a setup using a pot, colander, and pot lid)
>Bring water to a boil and steam for about 8 minutes
>Remove basket or colander, dump water
>Serve

[(cont'd) No.17728996]

>>17728960
Microwave eggs, 9PM edition.

Ingredients:
Microwave
1 egg
Mug (preferably depicting a picturesque Hawaii)
Timer (in-kit w/ microwave)

Steps:
>Open microwave door
>Place whole egg into mug
>Place mug-egg complex on the turntable
>Set timer of 5 minutes
>Return to pc and gaze longingly at photos of the anime girls that have animal ears and tails tacked on...
>Hear small explosion
>Hustle to microwave and see mess
>Clean up yolk and white mixed with egg shell

**Alternative: Microwave eggs, nursed edition

Ingredients:
Microwave
1 egg
Mug (whichever is available)
Timer (in-kit w/ microwave)
Spices

Steps:
>Crack egg into mug of choice
>Open microwave door
>Place mug-egg complex on the turntable
>Set timer of 30 seconds
>View future meal with eyes of a hawk
>Hear timer, open door, stir WIP meal
>Set timer of 30 seconds
>View future meal with eyes of a hawk
>Hear timer, open door, stir meal
>Add spices of choice
>Enjoy

[(cont'd) 3/? No.17729032]

>>17728996
Mum's Ladle Fried Eggs

Ingredients:
Mother's steel menudo ladle
2 eggs
Open flame

Steps:
>Crack to eggs into ladle (No messy, icky, sticky pans to wash!!!)
>Ignite gas burner
>Hold ladle over the flame
>Once they have achieved the Sunnyside Up state, remove ladle from flame
>Pour yolks onto plate
>Eat whites off of menudo ladle in shame

**Alternative: Fried eggs

Ingredients:
Pan
Oil or butter
Lid (optional)

Steps:
>Set burner to medium heat
>Let pan heat for a bit and put a little oil or butter in
>Put egg in and cook for a minute or two (lid will help cook faster if you have one)
>Plate once the translucent whites around the yolk are white.

[Anonymous No.17729035]

>>17728394
They do describe it as something you have to stand and nurse constantly, it seems it's mostly for the toasted flavour. You can get it jarred: https://acadianatable.com/first-you-make-a-roux/
Might be worth a thread, I'd be curious to learn more about it too.

[(cont'd) 4/4 No.17729090]

>>17729032
Clean Poached Eggs

Ingredients:
Concentrated dish water
3 eggs
Dark malt vinegar
Slotted spoon

Steps:
>Endorse delusion that soap will disappear upon boiling
>Crack eggs into bowl
>Bring dish water to boil
>Add splash of dark malt vinegar for color
>Use spoon to create vortex, add in eggs
>Remove with slotted spoon when at desired appearance and consistency
>Congratulate yourself on creating 3 simulacrums of voldemort

**Alternative: Poached eggs

Ingredients:
3 eggs
Water
Vinegar
Slotted spoon
Fine mesh strainer

Steps:
>Crack eggs into fine mesh strainer and place into small bowl
>Bring the water & vinegar mixture to a boil
>Create vortex with a spoon and gently pour the egg into the center of the vortex
>Remove eggs with slotted spoon when done

[Anonymous No.17729124]

>>17728437
This is essential

[Anonymous No.17729209]

>>17720804
deenz recipie chapter pls

[Anonymous No.17729251]

>>17727275
shame the chili ramens are basically extinct

[Anonymous No.17729353]

>>17728996
I fucking love the title lol

[Anonymous No.17729361]

>>17729209
Some Anon gave a deenz recipe and I love it, i'm just worried about. Not enough recipes / becoming dated but def see how many people want it.

[Anonymous No.17729368]

>>17729090
This photo made me gag a lil, I love it.

[Anonymous No.17729469]

new bread?

[Anonymous No.17729628]

>>17729469
Soon... Just sorting out some places people can vote/give suggestions externally.