/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.17632997]

>forget lunch at home today
>grab pic related out of vending machine
>doesn't taste great, but is edible
>spent the last hour on the can with food poison grade diarrhea
>feel absolutely fine otherwise

What kind of chemicals do they put in this crap? I feel like a took a double dose of a high powered laxative.

Jesus christ

[Anonymous No.17633014]

the ones with the round disc of 'bacon' on them are really weird, if I eat one, my burps taste like smoky rubber for the rest of the day

[Anonymous No.17633020]

I read the ingredient list on one once after eating it and it was pretty scary

[Anonymous No.17633032]

>>17632997
Pretty sure they coat that shit with a bunch of preservatives since, you know, it’s going to be inside a fucking vending machine. I’d honestly rather skip a meal entirely than eat a vending machine burger wtf is wrong with you

[Anonymous No.17633040]

>>17633032
I don't know, I was hungry.

But my ass has been glued to the toilet for the almost an hour since I got off work. I don't think it's actual food poisoning because I feel 100% fine otherwise.

[Anonymous No.17633064]

>>17632997
>>17633020
>>17633032
Almost all the "scary chemicals" in the ingredients list are just added vitamins and minerals. The patty is just shitty beef cut with enriched soy, the bun is just made with enriched flour and stabilizers, and the cheese is just regular process cheese.

You probably felt sick just because it was garbage that had been sitting in a vending machine for weeks.

[Anonymous No.17633083]

>>17633064
eh I recognize a lot of those, I remember seeing some unfamiliar things when I had one but that was about 10 years ago, maybe I'm misremembering or they changed it since then

[Anonymous No.17633146]

These taste surprisingly good. But not worth the $7 my gas station is trying to charge for them.

[Anonymous No.17633276]

I've not had that brand, but I've had one I was intimidated by eating because it was massive.
even with the "not the most awful" microwave burgers, I take precautions
>whether frozen or just cold, separate each ingredient as best you can
>use the plastic wrapper to microwave the bun halves, cheese, and any bacon or whatever
>slip the heated bun and cheese onto paper towel, wrench apart
>slide burger back into cellophane and microwave an extra minute
>slide burger out into ceramic bowl with a paper towel, wipe up all the fat you can
>repeat with another paper or towel or two
>assemble
you get rid of so much grease and water, that would otherwise make the bun soggy, and make it so much worse than it already is.
it's not autism, i'm not a pizza dabber like ulililia

[Anonymous No.17633288]

>>17633276
Why not make your own fucking burger at that point?

[Anonymous No.17633295]

>>17633288
oh right OP here. I forgot to add that while I accidentally left my lunch at home, I did remember to bring my emergency pack of ground beef, hamburger buns, and cheddar cheese slices. I didn't even realize I could have just made my own burger for lunch instead of eating the one out of the vending machine. Thanks for your big brain, in recompense can I suck your pp? I bet its big, big man. I bet you're a big strong man. Hmm? Suck pp? I like your feet too you stupid fucking faggot. Get out of my thread asking questions like that.

[Anonymous No.17633320]

>>17633288
The taste is amazing and I can't recreate it.
sure, when i've got a nice paycheck, i'll flatten out a pound of ground beef on a cookie sheet, bake, make several okay burgers.
but the bun, the cheese, the weird bacon disc, the artificial smoke in the patty, it comes together in a satisfying way i can't do.

[Anonymous No.17633321]

>>17633295
Actually I'm OP and I'm still on the can

[Anonymous No.17633337]

>>17632997
I would probably fucking kill myself if I ever ate one of these things. I take so much care of what I eat as it is that one of these might just kill me

[Anonymous No.17633351]

>>17633337
You've weakened yourself to the point where an enriched soyburger can kill you? Christ...

[Anonymous No.17633367]

>>17633351
You've weakened yourself that you can survive one. Ask me which one I'd rather be.

[Anonymous No.17633381]

>>17633367
>the weak survive while the "strong" can be killed by accidentally eating the wrong thing
God forbid someone sneezes in your general direction.

[Anonymous No.17633395]

>>17633367
you'll sneak vegetables onto my burger and i'll diarrhea three times in two hours
i'll sneak meat juice onto your burger and you'll get pneumonia

[Anonymous No.17633405]

>>17633064
>americans actually believe this is a reasonable ingredient list
I want food not your kid's science experiemnt

[Anonymous No.17633417]

>>17633405
You really shouldn't proudly boast about your ignorance. It makes you seem rather... American...

[Anonymous No.17633421]

>>17633405
yea eurotrash im sure this exact shit doesnt exist in your hellhole either

[Anonymous No.17633425]

>>17633395
I eat like a pound of beef a day retard. There's a difference in being afraid of beef and being afraid of this burger.

[Anonymous No.17633437]

>>17633421
Looks good to me, chief. Got all them scary chemical words nice and hidden, so now it's safe for children and men with the stomach of children like: >>17633337

[Anonymous No.17633438]

Vending machines probably dont refrigerate properly+that burger has been in there 2 months

[Anonymous No.17633439]

>>17633417
>literally defending shit like this >>17633421
how much do you weigh

[Anonymous No.17633443]

>>17632997
>keep refrigerated or frozen
do vending machines do this tho?

[Anonymous No.17633446]

>>17633439
What was the last grade of public school you attended before dropping out?

[Anonymous No.17633451]

>>17633446
I have a Bachelor's.
You, on the other hand, have difficulty getting up stairs.

[Anonymous No.17633453]

>>17633443
Sort of. It can be out a fairly long time without anyone noticing. A bunch of people I work with called out one day because one did and poisoned half the maintenance crew.

[Anonymous No.17633457]

>>17633451
Man, they really give out degrees to everyone these days. I guess this is what happens when basic literacy is no longer a requirement.

[Anonymous No.17633467]

>>17633453
>poisoned half the maintenance crew
lmao,maybe the machines cant get cold enough?

[Anonymous No.17633468]

>>17633439
>if you know the chemical names of essential vitamins and minerals then YOU FAT

[Anonymous No.17633469]

>>17633439
how much longer until putin invades your country

[Anonymous No.17633471]

>>17633467
Maybe that too but the power went out and the compressor in the machine died when it came back on.

[Anonymous No.17633480]

>>17633457
An important part of literacy is comprehension. This means, when one reads an ingredients label, not having a reddit moment because they use slightly more obscure terms.
Go whine on and whine about it, fatty.

[Anonymous No.17633487]

>>17633468
Lol you eat food with caramel food coloring as an ingredient TWICE and then defend it online. Lmao.

[Anonymous No.17633491]

>>17633468
>because it says sodium chloride I can pretend the rest of the ingredients don't matter
Thanks, Jimmy

[Anonymous No.17633534]

>>17633439
>>17633437
>>17633421
>>17633405
>>17633064
I hate this argument because euros have a special law that says you can combine ingredients into 'common sense' totals- so bread that has stabilizers and shit in it in Europe just says 'wheat' or 'bread'. WHereas the US forces you to list every ingredient, so american ingredients sound way scarier.

[Anonymous No.17633542]

>>17633534
I am glad that the ingredients literally list the laxative that's in it (sodium phosphate)

[Anonymous No.17633550]

Is not called Big Az for nothing.

[Anonymous No.17633568]

>>17633542
And found in euro food too, which is my point.

[Anonymous No.17633570]

>>17633568
I was agreeing with you.

[Anonymous No.17633577]

>>17633491
>B vitamins are le bad because... BECAUSE THEY JUST ARE, OKAY? THIS BURGER COULD LITERALLY KILL ME!

[Anonymous No.17633582]

>>17633577
B vitamin stands for Burger vitamin

[Anonymous No.17633609]

>>17633321
I am Spartacus

[Anonymous No.17633611]

>>17633577
way to prove my point, retard

[Anonymous No.17633624]

>>17633337
Someone get this faggot one of those burgers, stat.

[Anonymous No.17633625]

>>17633577
>Diaper rash cream is a B vitamin

[Anonymous No.17633646]

>>17633451
>bragging about a Bachelor's

holy shit, thank you for the laugh. I needed it.

[Anonymous No.17633653]

>>17633625
>water is used as an industrial coolant

[Anonymous No.17633659]

>>17633653
Science food is weird you fat fuck. Rationalize it all you want.

[Anonymous No.17633693]

>>17633646
That degree in gender studies gonna pay for itself

[Anonymous No.17633707]

>>17633646
It's not a brag, senpai. I'm just saying I did it. The fact that you think its a brag seems like some projection.

[Anonymous No.17633848]

>>17633693
Lmao imagine internalizing a faggot boomer mentality.

[Anonymous No.17633886]

>>17633542
That's not a laxative dumbass

[Anonymous No.17633887]

>>17633886
It literally is though.

[Anonymous No.17633902]

>>17633542
Sodium phosphate is okay, but nothing compares to a nice long swig of magnesium citrate to start your day on the right note.

[Anonymous No.17633922]

>>17633902
I take 2 teaspoons of it a day to get over muscle soreness from training and then I fucking destroy my toilet.

[Anonymous No.17633937]

>>17632997
I used to eat these at least 3 times a week when I was in a year long rehab program. This little bodega sold them for like $2. Would always stop through and buy a couple of the hot and spicy chicken ones. They aren't good, but as far as gas station food they arent bad either. Never got sick either.

[Anonymous No.17633939]

>>17633902
The cherry flavor is disgusting but the lemon is oddly enjoyable.

[Anonymous No.17633945]

>>17633939
I have raspberry and it's mid. Lemon is definitely the best.

[Anonymous No.17633961]

>>17632997
I used to love those shitty pre-wrapped gas station cheese burgers as a kid

[Anonymous No.17634004]

>>17633945
Seem to use a lot of it, eating disorder?

[Anonymous No.17634014]

>>17634004
It's like a magic potion for DOMS and I'm ramping up my training a lot for competition coming up.

[Anonymous No.17634140]

>>17633405
>I want food not your kid's science experiemnt
Then don't order from a fucking vending machine asshole. Simple as. That shot's prolefeed for the people who're going to be helping Big Pharma's executives retire to the Bahamas.

[Anonymous No.17635192]

>frozen microwavable burger in vending machine
Why not do what Japan does and have burgers hot and ready to eat in vending machines? <span class="xae" data-xae="ok">&#x1F44C;[/spoiler]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxa-BqlIWVM

[Anonymous No.17635201]

>>17633451
clown or barber college?

[Anonymous No.17635211]

>>17632997
Do americans really? <img class="xae" data-xae width="32" height="32" src="https://s.4cdn.org/image/emotes/51ca59c2_BOOMER.png">

[Anonymous No.17635273]

>>17633064
>Yeast (Yeast, Sorbitan Monostearate, Ascorbic Acid)
what's in the yeast in the yeast, is it the same as the yeast not in the yeast?

[Anonymous No.17635315]

>>17633451
>I have a Bachelor's.

Prove it.

[Anonymous No.17635323]

>>17632997
Guys. I don't normally meme. But.

Do Americans Fucking REALLY?

[Anonymous No.17635344]

<span class="xae" data-xae="vomit">&#x1F92E;[/spoiler]

[Anonymous No.17635353]

>>17633405
<img class="xae" data-xae width="32" height="32" src="https://s.4cdn.org/image/emotes/8b7cc3e0_WTFF.png">

[Anonymous No.17635573]

>>17633405
AAAAHHHHH I HATE SYLLABLES AAAHHHHHHG

[Anonymous No.17637119]

>>17633902
More like magnesium shitrate <img class="xae" data-xae width="32" height="24" src="https://s.4cdn.org/image/emotes/cda7b2fb_FeelsGoodMan.png">

[Anonymous No.17637128]

>>17635323
>do Americans really exist in economic-societal circumstances that produce shitty, unappetizing, highly processed, easily distributed, long shelf life gas station food
Yes, of course.<span class="xae" data-xae="confused">😕[/spoiler]

[Anonymous No.17637138]

>>17633146
What the fuck is up with gas stations charging obscene amounts for any food that would be substantially filling?

[Anonymous No.17637162]

>>17637138
some or all of these factors:
>low volumes moved so they mark it up high to recoup the amount they have to chuck out
>convenience tax, someone buying food at the gas station is probably doing it out of necessity
>if they're independent and/or out in the sticks they might not get very good deals on distribution contracts so they mark it up to make the margin less shit

[Anonymous No.17637169]

>>17632997
How do I get points for emojis?

[Anonymous No.17637171]

just toast the fucking bun you mongoloids
Toast the bun, put a smear of mayo and ketchup on it if you feel fancy, and you've improved the microwave burg experience tenfold

[Anonymous No.17637175]

>>17637138
Captive audience/ambush pricing.
Plus it isn't economical to get true bulk rates on food if your main income source is fuel oil.
Captcha: RAV0R

[Anonymous No.17637195]

>>17632997
What on fucking earth is that?
If it comes out of a vending machine, isn't it cold?

The US never fails to amaze me <img class="xae" data-xae width="28" height="25" src="https://s.4cdn.org/image/emotes/25086889_FeelsSpecialMan.png">

[Anonymous No.17637206]

>>17637195
you ever get a soda out of a vending machine, and notice that it's cold?

[Anonymous No.17637218]

>>17635353
US:
>high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup
Because the type of sugar might be different.
>Spice, Onion Powder, Natural Flavorings
Because they can’t combine all of the spices and herbs
>tomato concentrate
An ingredient that’s just tomatoes. But they boiled the water out, which changes the sugars.
UK:
>tomatoes
What you’ve done to them doesn’t matter.
>sugar
Because sugar is sugar, they shouldn’t have to tell you the type
>spice and herb extracts, spice
Because listing our some spices and herbs, like onion powder, would be stupid.

These probably are the same exact recipe. The US and UK just both have retarded labeling laws, but in different ways.

[Anonymous No.17637220]

>>17637195
These are typically sold in vending machines with a nearby microwave. So you buy it, then nuke it.

[Anonymous No.17637255]

>>17635273
lol, that's why OP's still on the toilet, the yeast in his gut are endlessly multiplying.

[Anonymous No.17637320]

>>17637195
>op forgot to microwave his burger

[Anonymous No.17637398]

>>17635323
>do America's occasionally forget their food at home when they leave for work and have to settle for a less than appetizing, yet quick option?

Yes, we do.

[Anonymous No.17638224]

>>17632997
i used to stock these at gas stations and they're supposed to be thrown out after 3 weeks. They don't have a long shelf life and a vending machine is the last place I would buy one.

[Anonymous No.17639007]

>>17633417
>>17633534
As an American, the European is correct. The audacity of you who are ignorant, calling someone informed stupid, is something else.

[Anonymous No.17639019]

I have been there OP. Exactly the same expeirence.

>Got lazy during the heatwave.
>Didn't want to cook over a hot stove
>Got to the only store nearby
>They have these burger
>Grab one burger
>Microwave and eat
>Spend the next two days with bad runny shits

[Anonymous No.17639143]

>>17632997
You will get used to it

Take the Big AZ pill

[Anonymous No.17639152]

Its called a big azz for a reason lol

[Anonymous No.17639160]

>>17632997
Every single time I've ever bought one of these at Company Kitchen i've regretted it after microwaving.

[Anonymous No.17639181]

Do you microwave it with or without the bag?

[Anonymous No.17639184]

>>17633337
Kek what a fucking retard

Get yourself one of those burgers asap

[Anonymous No.17639348]

>>17635344
>yellow 5, blue 1, red 40
ingredients made up by the utterly deranged

[Anonymous No.17640062]

>>17638224
To be fair, my "vending machine" at work is a fridge with an unmanned cash register next to it that you just scan the item and pay by credit card.

The stupid thing had a sticker on it that said goof by 4/2

[Anonymous No.17640070]

>>17638224
To be fair, the "vending machine" at work is just a fridge with computer next to it that you scan the item and pay by credit card. The thing had a sticker on it that said it was good through 4/2.

But yeah, never eating on of these again

[Anonymous No.17640073]

>>17637206
Yes, that's exactly the problem, I prefer my burgers warm.
>>17637220
That makes sense, still can't say that it sounds appealing but I can see myself grabbing one at lunch if I'm short on time/motivation.

[Anonymous No.17640097]

>>17637218
aww cute you figured it out

[Anonymous No.17640100]

>>17633405
>oh no scary science words
moron

[Anonymous No.17640131]

>>17633405
this post didn't age well

[Anonymous No.17640160]

These goddamn ratburgers are delicious. I want one right now.

[Anonymous No.17640177]

>>17640160

[Anonymous No.17640181]

>>17635353
Reality is both have mostly the same ingredients, but the US and the UK have different rules about how you can label the contents of a product. "Tomatoes" is okay in the UK, but in the US, it's too vague a description, you have to get more specific and say "tomato concentrate." The only difference is the UK version uses sugar and the US version uses corn syrup as a sweetener, but that's due to corn subsidies in the US.

[Anonymous No.17640454]

>>17633064
>imagine living in a country that doesn't bleach it's flour
Am I missing out living somewhere we're too povo to bleach our flour?
>textured vegetrable protein product
why in the fuck is this in a burger

[Anonymous No.17640458]

>>17635353
this is literally the same ingredients retard, the only difference is the spices are under one thing

[Anonymous No.17640482]

>>17640454
Outside of the explosive diarrhea, that was the worst part about the thing. Sure, the burger was all processed slop meant to mimic its real counterpart. But the bun was artificially sweet, it tasted like it was made with cake batter.

[Anonymous No.17640602]

>>17632997
these give me horrific farts <span class="xae" data-xae="plead">🥺[/spoiler]

[Anonymous No.17640785]

>>17633421
wtf i'm #flamintasty now

[Anonymous No.17640791]

>>17632997
>burger in a vending machine
What in the name of fuck?
Can america go any lower

[Anonymous No.17640805]

>>17637175
>Captive audience/ambush pricing.
>Plus it isn't economical to get true bulk rates on food if your main income source is fuel oil.
>Captcha: RAV0R
Gas stations main income is from the sale of things inside the store.

[Anonymous No.17640828]

>>17639007
lol shutup mutt

[Anonymous No.17640837]

>>17633276
>i'm not a pizza dabber like ulililia
I've been dabbing for over 20 years and it's just healthier. Learned it from some bitch I was dating.

[Anonymous No.17641692]

those stupid burgers get someone sick at least once a month where i work.

[Anonymous No.17642161]

>>17633417
Sorry, anon. People from around the world, even from shithole third world countries, are used to eating food with fresh ingredients. You'll get the feeling once you lived in other normal parts of the world.

[Anonymous No.17642227]

>>17633040
Food poisoning can just be diarrhea, it's not always with fever and vomiting. It probably sat in the vending machine too long and started to spoil or wasn't kept cold enough.

[Anonymous No.17643429]

>>17632997
Your bloodline is weak & you are faces the consequences of your ancestors continuing to mate instead of just ending it when they realized they were degenerates. I pity you.

[Anonymous No.17645206]

>>17633064
>Americans manage to fit soy into cheddar cheese
Why do they do it? Is it pathological?

[Anonymous No.17645217]

Serious question, what happens if you're american and you have a soy allergy? Are you left on a hillside to get eaten by coyotes?

[Anonymous No.17646141]

>>17643429
>Your bloodline is weak & you are faces the consequences of your ancestors continuing to mate instead of just ending it when they realized they were degenerates. I pity you

[Anonymous No.17646147]

>>17645217
You probably just don't eat anything processed or prepackaged. So you're kinda stuck cooking your own meals from scratch.
Honestly? Not a big deal.

[Anonymous No.17646154]

>>17645217
You are forbidden to buy your groceries at the Dollar Tree and you are doomed to slowly perish.

[Anonymous No.17646471]

>>17637175
Gas stations make about one or two cents profit per gallon of gas sold.

source: managed a gas station

[Anonymous No.17646487]

>>17632997

[Anonymous No.17647978]

>>17633659
lmao this nigga don't even eat science

[Anonymous No.17648465]

>>17639019
When I was 19 or 20 I worked in a factory that had these in the break room. I usually ate microwave burritos, hot pockets, or the Big Az burger. No issues. Some of you are weak.

[Anonymous No.17648471]

>>17646487
I was in that thread. The screencap hardly tells the tale. I was laughing uncontrollably for minutes and minutes in a row. Ya had to be there.

[Anonymous No.17648716]

>>17645206
jews

[Anonymous No.17649630]

>>17632997
that's how you know it's working

[Anonymous No.17649649]

>>17635353
>high fructose corn syrup

[Anonymous No.17650183]

>>17633288
It's the captain of the retards

[Anonymous No.17651879]

[Anonymous No.17651897]

>>17651879
I wish my poops looked like that right now. I've got the squirts for day 2 at the moment.

[Anonymous No.17652193]

>>17633405
European countries don't even list everything they put inside of their shit lmao that's why their ingredients list is always smaller. Don't knock the only country being honest about the garbage you're eating.

[Anonymous No.17652558]

>>17635353
you really think that proved whatever your point was, don't you? lol, lmao even

[Anonymous No.17653151]

>>17635273
>OP ate the fractal yeast
it's over

[Anonymous No.17653171]

>>17651897
I can’t even imagine getting to the point where my shit is a consistent problem

[Anonymous No.17653352]

>>17640837
>durrr less fat means more healthy
kill yourself

[Anonymous No.17653366]

Anybody who orders refrigerator or vending machine hamburgers or gas station sandwiches with almost no fillings or fresh "wraps" where they cheat you on everything deserves everything they get. You stupid fuckers should know better by now.

[Anonymous No.17653559]

>>17632997
its high salt and high fat. if you're not used to it your gut bacteria will go nuclear and your body will evacuate it.

I got onto a health kick in my mid 20s, stopped eating pizzas, burgers, cut all that shit out, only ate food I cooked myself from raw ingredients. after a year I tried a Dominos and was sick as a dog. it tasted fine. nobody else got sick. but my body was not used to all that oil and salt. I was king of the porcelain throne for over an hour.

also these vending machine refillers do a shit job. they dont have refrigerated trucks so that patty probably roasted in a hot truck for a day before making it to the vending machine. there wll be all sorts of nasty bacteria growing on it.

[Anonymous No.17654808]

Used to eat vending machine burgers every once and awhile if i ran out of food in the dorms. always chewy and sweet, its only like a few steps lower than just eating normal fast food really.

[Anonymous No.17655386]

>>17632997
I feel you. I've never had full-on food poisoning, but one time:
>be me
>arrive at music festival with friends
>first night
>chadbro brings out huge aluminium pot of curry he'd cooked on morning of previous day
>reheats pot over wood fire
>nearly all friends, including me, grab a portion
>tastes real good
>next day, we all have the runs
>feel absolutely fine otherwise
>drunk as fuck, many bumbling hard on ecstasy
>I get used to making regular trips to the portapotty and just going straight back to dancing
All hail the resilient human digestive system.