/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.17399786]

No, no… sir… the pork belly sriracha nachos are an appetizer, NOT an entree. If it were up to me, hey… but I’m sorry, you must select something else, something more… main coursey. Understand?

[Anonymous No.17399795]

Okay, I'll have that to start. Could you bring thay out and give me some time to pick a main? I'll definitely order one, I promise.

[Anonymous No.17399806]

no restaurant serving 'pork belly sriracha nachos' would be this hoity toity about courses

[Anonymous No.17399810]

>>17399795
kek based

[Anonymous No.17399904]

>>17399795
No… I’m afraid I can’t do that sir. You clearly expressed an intent to eat them as your main course. Also, the nachos are 3500 calories and you are dining alone. Even if I believed you intend to enjoy them as an appetizer before selecting an entree (and no offense, but I do NOT believe you) that would be far too much food for one person. Please enjoy our complimentary tap water and take another minute to look over the menu.

[Anonymous No.17399910]

>>17399786
>>17399904
What mental illness makes you play pretend like this? Seriously, seek help.

[Anonymous No.17399939]

>>17399786
Well this here under the table is a 50caliber AE(Asian eliminator). As a jogger myself surely you don't think it's a good idea to deny my request? Bix nood

[Anonymous No.17399946]

>>17399910
Expose de Purfag does actually do this though

[Anonymous No.17399949]

>>17399910

[Anonymous No.17399955]

With due respect sir, I will order any item I want off the menu, and if you are not going to provide them, I am going to leave for a different restaurant.

[Anonymous No.17399966]

>>17399955
Based and correct.

[Anonymous No.17399971]

>>17399955
DON'T CALL IT AN ENTREE
THIS IS THE FUTURE YOU CHOSE

[Anonymous No.17399975]

>>17399786
>No, no… sir… the pork belly sriracha nachos are an appetizer, NOT an entree. If it were up to me, hey… but I’m sorry, you must select something else, something more… main coursey. Understand?
said no waiter at any restaurant ever.

[Anonymous No.17399978]

I'll have aaaaaaaaaaaaa
water

[Anonymous No.17399981]

>>17399910
Imagine getting angry at people having creative, harmless fun

[Anonymous No.17399997]

>>17399955
I’m afraid that will not be possible sir. We have bolted the doors and barricaded the windows. I see you reaching for your phone… having issues with your service, sir? The walls of our establishment are sheets of lead sandwiched between tungsten. WiFi service for CUSTOMERS is free, however… once I receive your order I will happily provide you with the guest password. So, I ask you again… are you ready to select an ENTREE, SIR?

[Anonymous No.17400003]

>>17399981
Imagine being homosexual. OH WAIT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO IMAGINE THAT.

[Anonymous No.17400012]

>>17399997
I'll have the chicken pate on sourdough with pear preserve

[Anonymous No.17400022]

>>17400012
WE’RE OUT OF THAT SIR PLEASE CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE

[Anonymous No.17400029]

>>17400022
I'll have pork chops with medjool apple butter instead.

[Anonymous No.17400035]

>>17399786
>>17399904
>>17399997
imagine being so retarded you attempt to come up with a kobayashi maru scenario for food ordering.

I ordered what I ordered now bring me what I asked for and stop making up farcical scenarios.

[Anonymous No.17400042]

>>17399997
The puffer fish with cherry pit reduction please.

[Anonymous No.17400065]

>>17400022
Bring me tendies and ketchup. ARE YOU HAPPY?!? ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY?!? HUH? HUH?!

[Anonymous No.17400073]

>>17399997

I see you are committing a felony against me. Under Washington State law, this justifies the use of lethal force. Accordingly, I am going to beat you to death with this chair.

[Anonymous No.17400077]

>>17399955
>>17399966
Based and checked

[Anonymous No.17400083]

>>17400073
I'm sorry sir, murder is not an entree or a main
Please select something else

[Anonymous No.17400089]

>>17400029
HEARTFELT APOLOGIES SIR BUT I’VE JUST BEEN INFORMED WE ARE OUT OF APPLE BUTTER, MAY I SUGGEST SOMETHING? WE HAVE A LOVELY CALCULUS EXAM THAT YOU HAVEN’T STUDIED FOR, YOU HAVEN’T BEEN TO CLASS ALL SEMESTER AND THIS IS THE LAST CREDIT YOU NEED TO GRADUATE. DO YOU LIKE THE DINING ROOM, SIR? IT’S YOUR CHILDHOOD HOME EXCEPT THERE ARE SEVERAL EXTRA ROOMS AND FLOORS, IT FEELS FAMILIAR YET STRANGE AT THE SAME TIME, DOES IT NOT SIR? LOOK OUT THE WINDOW, ALL OF THE PLANES ARE CRASHING, CRASHING, CRASHING, SIR! EXCUSE ME SIR, MAY I PICK UP YOUR TOOTH FOR YOU? YOU SEEM TO BE LOSING THEM AT AN ALARMING RATE, SIR. TIME IS EVER FLEETING, SIR. OH, TRYING TO TAKE A SWING AT ME SIR? YOU’LL FIND YOUR PUNCHES ARE QUITE WEAK AND POWERLESS… HERE TRY THE GUN… OH IT DOESNT WANT TO FIRE? MY APOLOGIES SIR I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO SIR…
SIR…
SIR…
>sir..?

[Anonymous No.17400100]

>>17400012
Sir, this is a McDonald's

[Anonymous No.17400102]

>>17400077
>>17399955
>>17399966
Checked, based, and correct.

[Anonymous No.17400110]

>>17400089
>sir?
>sir…?
>apologies sir, you said you’d like the pork belly sriracha nachos? would you like that as an appetizer or an entree?

[Anonymous No.17400113]

>>17399997
yes, I'll take the pork belly sriracha nachos

and a children's order of chicken fingers

[Anonymous No.17400121]

>>17400065
Sir, we require verifying that you have enough good boy points before making that order

[Anonymous No.17400125]

>>17400089
AAIIIEEEEE OUT OF MY HEEEEEAAAAD

[Anonymous No.17400130]

>>17399786
>appetizer, NOT an entree
Do Americans really?

[Anonymous No.17400137]

>>17400089
Looks like those adrenochrome braised pork chops really hit the spot

[Anonymous No.17400159]

>>17400121

[Anonymous No.17400170]

>>17399910
being poor and intensively resentful of haute food culture

good thread otherwise, OP

[Anonymous No.17400176]

>>17400130
The fact that amerimutts use entree to mean main course is particularly obnoxious because you don't even need to speak French to make the obvious connection between "entree" and "enter", i.e., the first part of the meal, the starter

[Anonymous No.17400180]

>>17399910
>>17400035
WHY AREN'T THERE MCDONALDS HAMBURDERS ON THE MENU REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.17400190]

>>17400176
we do have restaurants that use correct terms for x course meals, but no one here has eaten at them because they are too poor and fat.

[Anonymous No.17400288]

>>17399904
I assure you sir, I am quite capable of consuming 3500 calories as an appetizer. In fact, I think I'll have two servings of nachos followed by 5 dozen oysters.

[Anonymous No.17400318]

>>17400176
>implying the entree isn't just the first main course

[Anonymous No.17400327]

>>17399786
oh I'm sorry sir, I understand completely. I will have jellied eels for my entrée

[Anonymous No.17400335]

>>17400176
obviously you aren't american because after the entree is the viol au fromage followed by the attaque cardiaque magnifique. fucking europoor swine

[Anonymous No.17400337]

>>17400288
mr creosote over here

[Anonymous No.17400403]

>>17400110
>very good, sir. I will return to refill your beverage… oh don’t mind the spiders under the table, we haven’t been under there in ages.
>now if you’ll just crawl through the cobwebs…
>very good sir, and a very fine book report, but could you explain why you’re standing in front of the classroom naked?
>hold that thought sir, a tidal wave approaches, it appears to be several miles high… if only you could, yes… yes, that’s it, sir! Fly! Fly away! You’re soaring above the city!

[Anonymous No.17400426]

>>17400403
>I decide to finally take my meds.
>Snapback to reality.

[Anonymous No.17400549]

>>17400089
Insanely based post, now get out of my head

[Anonymous No.17400576]

>>17400089
now this, this is keyed

[Anonymous No.17400658]

you know what, just give me a cheeseburger

[Anonymous No.17400690]

>>17400335
fucking lol

[Anonymous No.17400701]

>>17400089
sir?

[Anonymous No.17400713]

>>17400335
>viol au fromage
absolutely amazing, would order

[Anonymous No.17400729]

good thread op

[Anonymous No.17400732]

I'll have the pan seared halibut and a glass of your finest cabernet sauvignon. Yes, wagie, I'm going to pair red wine with seafood, and there's nothing you can do about it.

[im sorry No.17400742]

>>17400089
>sir...
>sir...
>suhr...
>suhr, good morning

[Anonymous No.17400750]

>>17399786
Man, I want a white tablecloth restaurant with a formally dressed waiter that also sells pork belly sriracha nachos. I want them to let me watch them burn the tablecloth after every meal.

[Anonymous No.17400767]

>>17399786
Oy? What's that? Pork belly sriracha nachos? The fucks that? We got pastys; we got stubbys. Stop being a cunt and pick something.

[im sorry No.17400776]

>>17400767
c...can i just get half an order of each? sir?

[Anonymous No.17400788]

>>17400767
Just get me a vb tinny and fuck off aye

[Anonymous No.17400795]

>>17399786
Well, can I have the French onion soup, which you can serve first, then the pork belly appetizer as my entree and a half carafe of red wine. And for desert the pecan pie a la mode. Am I spending enough money if I do that?

[Anonymous No.17400814]

I don't want any appletizer and I don't know who Aunt Ray is, but fine. Gimme some pepperoni and a big plate of chicken fingers.

[Anonymous No.17400964]

Sir... as I have already explained to you, this is not a restaurant. This is a dimension consisting purely of pain and suffering. Your conscience is trapped here for eternity, with no possible chance of escaping. The horrors you will endure will be beyond your comprehension and whenever your mind seems to make sense of the hell you are experiencing, I will take it to new extremes over and over and over again, for all of eternity.
So... what can I start you off with?

[Anonymous No.17401208]

>>17400964
another water and another minute to look at this menu thanks

[Anonymous No.17401282]

>>17399904
>no i will not sell you the 2 portion high profit margin meal, you must choose a 1 portion lower profit meal due to social standards
20 bucks is 20 bucks, no waiter would argue with a customer in your retarded tipping culture

[Anonymous No.17401290]

>>17400426
>whoop there goes gravity
>Fly, Flying away over the city again!

[Anonymous No.17401291]

>>17399786
This has literally never happened anywhere on earth

[Anonymous No.17401354]

oh I almost forgot, bring the ketchup please waiter

[Anonymous No.17401407]

>>17400089
now this is what i come to the internet for

[Anonymous No.17401442]

>>17400176
>make the obvious connection between "entree" and "enter"
>sounds like bullshit to my american ears/eyes
>its 100% true
what the goddamn

[Anonymous No.17401447]

>>17399806
You've never been to LA

[Anonymous No.17401453]

the service here is even worse than the kinoplex

[Anonymous No.17401456]

>>17400089
uhh, based department?

[Anonymous No.17401460]

>>17400176
I entree the restaurant to get my fuckin entree, pierre

[Anonymous No.17401463]

>>17400814
the good kind, not the shitty ones like george green has

[Anonymous No.17401470]

>>17400713
unfortunately, its out of stock, sir

https://www.amazon.ca/-/fr/Viol-fromage-L%C3%A9gumes-avec-bo%C3%AEte/dp/B00CWIN7OO

[Anonymous No.17401528]

>>17401470
ok that got me

[Anonymous No.17401535]

Your meal, sir. I wanted to deliver it to you personally. I present: pork belly sriracha nachos, the flagship of our half price happy hour Wednesdays.
>why is he just staring?
>why won’t he take a bite?
Because this is in fact, the essence of Sir’s being. A plate devoid of blue corn tortilla chips, devoid of monterey jack queso, devoid of 14 hour smoked pork belly, no salsa, no guacamole, no diced red onions… this plate should be full of beloved things but it is empty. Sir was content to live his entire life eating crab and artichoke dip, which we brought in canned and heated up in a microwave.

[Anonymous No.17401611]

>>17400089
10/10

[Anonymous No.17401627]

>>17399910
You could always try reddit if you don't like this stupid kind of shit.

[Anonymous No.17401653]

>>17401535
>>17400403
Stop smiling at me like that. Stop looking at me like that. You don't know me. You don't know me bitch. You don't know what I've done or what I've seen. You're not god. You're not the doctor. You're not the judge. And you're not my Seargent. You're a fucking waiter with nothing to show for your 30 years on this miserable giga-circus we call a country ran by pigs in human skin. I'm a 20-year veteran, a fucking war-hero. I was fighting for your mommas freedom since before she started sucking dick - yeah, that early. And I've got the same loaded weapon I used to turn chink brains into fried rice in the glove compartment of my car and I'm not too old to use it. You ever lived with the mist of blood burned into your eyes for so long until you were numb to it? You ever seen the light leave a mans eyes as you choked him out? You ever felt the warm breath of your battle buddy turn cold as the final gasp of air leaves his lungs? grabs your collar* I didn't think so, Susy. Now bring me my fucking nachos... before I get angry.

[Anonymous No.17401686]

>>17399786
>>17399795
>>17399806
>17399806
>>17399810
>>17399904
>>17399910
>>17399939
>>17399946
>>17399949
>>17399955
>>17399966
>>17399971
>>17399975
>>17399978
>>17399981
>>17399997
>>17400003
>>17400012
>>17400022
>>17400029
>>17400035
>>17400042
>>17400065
>>17400073
>>17400077
>>17400083
>>17400089
>>17400100
>>17400102
>>17400110
>>17400113
>>17400121
>>17400125
>>17400130
>>17400137
>>17400159
>>17400170
>>17400176
>>17400180
>>17400190
>>17400288
>>17400318
>>17400327
>>17400335
>>17400337
>>17400403
>>17400426
>>17400549
>>17400576
>>17400658
>>17400701
>>17400713
>>17400729
>>17400732
>>17400742
>>17400750
>>17400767
>>17400776
>>17400788
>>17400795
>>17400814
>>17400964
>>17401208
>>17401282
>>17401290
>>17401291
>>17401354
>>17401407
>>17401442
>>17401447
>>17401453
>>17401456
>>17401460
>>17401463
>>17401470
>>17401528
>>17401535
>>17401611
>>17401627
>>17401653
good morning!

[Anonymous No.17401998]

>>17401686
LIFE COULD BE DREAM
LIFE COULD BE DREAAAAAM

[Anonymous No.17402019]

>>17400089
yeah lemme get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Anonymous No.17402178]

A good old fashioned schizo thread, neat

[Anonymous No.17402198]

>>17401442
English has a shitton of borrowed words from French

[Anonymous No.17402210]

lmao
thread of the week

[Anonymous No.17402240]

>>17400089
Me when I take a bunch of melatonin

[Anonymous No.17402242]

>>17400176
That's not what it originally meant in Europe. There were many courses, far more than three, and the entree was the showy course, its entrance was an event. As the number of courses were pared down that made less sense, the main course had less to compete with and the entree became the first entrance. America was geographically far away and so out of touch as trends shifted and the language changed. Noah Webster had also already codified US English as a separate thing.

[Anonymous No.17402247]

>>17402178
You don't know what a schizo thread is

[Anonymous No.17402256]

>>17399786
I don't think anyone talks like this. kys

[Anonymous No.17402261]

>>17402247
YWNBAS

[Anonymous No.17402268]

>>17399904
>in California
>server gives you a glass of tap water without your permission
>owner sentenced to prison for 20 years

[Anonymous No.17402272]

Role play? on my chinese basketweaving forum?

I don't think so tim

[Anonymous No.17402291]

>>17400089
literally me

[Anonymous No.17402300]

>>17400089
I'll take one dream omelette please
https://youtu.be/sg0nYhUB7CA

[Anonymous No.17403627]

>>17402268
Which law is that? Is it one of those things the big businesses lobby for to cut out the competition?

[Anonymous No.17403730]

>>17400176
>The fact that amerimutts use entree to mean main course
say it aint so. surely they dont

[Anonymous No.17403787]

>>17399786
no one has ever said this ever

[Anonymous No.17403796]

>>17400121
do you accept good husband points?

[Anonymous No.17403801]

>>17400035
How is this related to that anime?

[Anonymous No.17403846]

>>17403787
Read the thread retard
Also I've never heard of pork belly Sriracha nachos before this thread, when I search for it the first result is some Korean bbq recipe and the second is this thread. Sounds like it could be really good

[Anonymous No.17403893]

>>17400035
>being a shitter
>posting Adam Ravaged
>referencing Star Trash
you very well could of said a "no-win scenario" and saved characters.