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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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17202697 No.17202697 [Reply] [Original]

what's the fastest way I can gain weight?

>> No.17202703

>>17202697
alcohol and fast food. thanks for coming to /ck/, we have many threads that will help

>> No.17202747

>>17202697
Sugary drinks and starchy foods deep fried in seed oils .

>> No.17202843

Real answer: nuts, seeds, and full fat milk. Don’t “dirty bulk” even if it sounds fun, you’ll feel like shit

>> No.17202902

>>17202697
pizza and ice cream every day

>> No.17202935

>>17202697
eat sugary cereal before bed, liver turns it straight to fatj0wvk

>> No.17202941

Whatever you do, dont do keto, you will only lose weight.

>> No.17202968

The dude from always sunny shared his secret. He ate as much as possible, then every evening he would let a gallon of ice cream melt and drink the whole thing.

>> No.17202969

Move to america

>> No.17202970
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17202970

I used to feel sorry for Wings but now I just think it would be best if he took his own life.

>> No.17202975

>>17202697
Live like the average american

>> No.17203096

>>17202697
bread

i accidentally bulkmaxed a few years ago with hotdogs and beer on the fourth of july, gained 20 points in like a week

>> No.17203102

>>17202697
Go through cycles of self loathing, necron-tier levels of seething at life, and blissful "who the fuck cares".

>> No.17203104

>>17203096
pounds*
>>17203102
>necron-tier levels of seething at life
elaborate

>> No.17203109
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17203109

LOOK HERE, LOOK LISTEN His wife will leave him in 2022 guaranteed. He admitted he would rather stream than take her on a honeymoon. She flirts with mods and he loved underaged girls.

Real tawk

>> No.17203133

>>17203104
https://youtu.be/FyeoBm5QFnA
Start at 14:34

>> No.17203173

>>17202697
Lift as hard and heavy as you can, full-body every other day, and when you become a hungry demon at an unpredictable time after your workout, give in to any fantasy that comes to mind rather than controlling what you eat and ensuring it’s reasonable.

This is known as a dirty bulk and it can get you strong and heavy as fuck (muscle is heaviest of all, don’t forget), but you’ll pay the price at some point, as the eventual cut will be hell on earth. That being said, you’ll still have the mildly erotic memory of how you ripped through two large dominoes cheese pizzas and were hungry for more but the whiskey and muscle recovery coma sleep prevented round 2.

>> No.17203184

>>17202970
How the fuck does someone get this fat without the power of weed and alcohol? Why is it always straight edge Americans from the south that look like this?

>> No.17203193

>>17202697
Literally eat everything, high protein, high carb, high sugar.

Why OP, are you anorexic or something?

>> No.17203198

I don't get eating chili without any rice or other carbs. I wouldn't be surprised if this fat fuck drinks it straight out of the bowl

>> No.17203200

>>17203198
I personally do elbow noodles

>> No.17203214

>>17203198
i like dippin some bread in muh chili

>> No.17203273
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17203273

>>17202970
He has a front bottom

>> No.17203331

>>17203198
Wingo does in fact drink the chili directly out of the cup.

>> No.17203336

>>17203184
The funny thing is he's also got his stomach cut out. One of those surgeries that are supposed to make you lose weight but he's gaining

>> No.17203338

>>17203184
you said it yourself, they dont use drugs, they use food to get "high"

used to have a roommate like that, he would get upset, walk to the convenience store that was literally in our apartments parking lot, buy $10-$15 worth of candy/snacks/soda, and consume it all at once when he got home

>> No.17203375

>>17202970
>>17203109

dont hate on the slim pimp richard

gonna drink a THOUSAND litres of pepsi later on

>> No.17203384

>>17202697
eat as much as you can right before you fall asleep and then wake up and do the same thing. or do what i did eat 1 of everything in the supermarket.

>> No.17203390

>>17203338
its not even about the taste either its just about consuming.

>> No.17203443

>>17202697
MacDonalds?

>> No.17203453

>>17202697
Anti-depressants + alcoholism + laziness + shit diet.

>> No.17203465

don't move at all except to drink oil.

>> No.17203502

>>17203375
Oh my lorr

>> No.17203529

>>17202697
You want to eat pancakes, tons of butter and syrup every day, chips every day, soda every day.

>> No.17203635
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17203635

shout out Sean Ranklin, big ups Liquid Richard

>> No.17203639

>>17203465
doesn't that kill your liver or smth?

>> No.17203722

>>17202697
Consume your own urine and feces so no mass is wasted.

>> No.17203745

>>17202697
gallon of milk a day. my buddy did it for a year as a bulk for lifting. he gained like 40 pounds so fucking fast. like 6 months he was fat. then got jacked. but coulda just stayed fat. if u cant do dairy like that just eat a steady 1000cal above ur bmi recommendation. or clean bulk like the others say but if ur stupid do what i said

>> No.17203751

https://youtu.be/jpVYdeQx9No

>> No.17203761

>>17202697
Go to the north pole

>> No.17203840

>>17202697
Eat more calories than you consume. Easy calories are got from banquet meals, take out (especially wendys chili) and pepsi

>> No.17203892

make yourself eat ,seriously
eat a peanut butter sandwich every hour of the day
and lift heavy
ive always been a skinny scrawny lanky dude but i started force feedig myself and now i eat like a fatass naturally
im back to a slender state but i did bulk up when i was doing what i suggested

>> No.17203961

>>17202697
Those weighted bracelets.

>> No.17204002

>>17202697
You lay on the couch and not move, I bring you treats, you much on them while y rub your belly very slowly in a circular motion one way then the other then I bring you even more food and when food makes you happy it makes me happy, I take your shirt off since you are getting kind of sweaty because how much you have been eating, don't worry this just gives me more surface area to play with you, I rub around your belly and under it now, I discover that you are ticklish, this is very good as I start tickling your armpits and I tickle you under your belly each time my hands come across it. I'm rubbing you up and down now because I can't resist it and I realize I haven't fed you in a while so I go to the kitchen, now what kind of treat could be your favorite? There is cookies and candy and cakes and all sorth of cheesy fried things