Drunk Hillbilly Cooking Hour

[Anonymous No.17098069]

Just got back from hunting, got something special planned for you guys

[Anonymous No.17098074]

What do you have planned anon, tell me. Also what were you hunting.

[Anonymous No.17098082]

>>17098074
Deer, and it's a surprise

Heat your skillet to half past 4, and get your oven to 400.

[Anonymous No.17098092]

You're ready when the lard is melted, sizzling, and smoking

[Anonymous No.17098105]

Retrieve your meat

[Anonymous No.17098117]

>>17098105
is that the heart or is it a deer steak?

[Anonymous No.17098120]

A little salt, coriander, and Cajun seasoning.

[Anonymous No.17098126]

>>17098069
I'm the drunkest fucking hillbily on /ck/ and I just ran out for some Royal Farms chicken.

[Anonymous No.17098133]

>>17098069
Let's dew it

[Anonymous No.17098135]

>>17098117
Far as I know it's called a tender, because it's one of two pieces of meat on a deer that are tender enough to eat right off the animal, the other being the loins.

Toss your meat in quick, she's got a lot of moisture so she'll spit

[Anonymous No.17098140]

>>17098126
Never heard of them, I get my chicken from the Adams' place down the road, good prices cause they always got too many

>>17098133
Checked. Gonna do a shot of m9onshine for those dubs

[Anonymous No.17098145]

When you get a good sear, turn it down a little, gotta do some cooking before we flip

[Anonymous No.17098159]

>>17098133
Cheers you sunnova bitch

[Anonymous No.17098170]

Now that is a C R U S T

remember to increase heat back to 4-5 before you flip, to get an equally good crust on the other side.

[Anonymous No.17098169]

looking scrumptious chef, does deer has its own specific kind of taste compared to other meats?

[Anonymous No.17098182]

>>17098169
not op, but can answer. compared to chicken or beef yes absolutely. compared to other commonly hunted meats like rabbit i can't say for sure.

[Anonymous No.17098197]

>>17098169
It's got a metallicish taste that people call "gameiness" but lard kills a lot of that in my experience. It's very similar to beef, main difference being the fat has a different composition, and tastes awful if you don't get rid of all of it.

What I've got here is a doe, and it generally has less of the gameiness that I mentioned in the first place.

Anyhow. Set your heat to low and slow to cook the inside a little bit, once you have your sear.

[Anonymous No.17098209]

bone apple tea, looks like our surprise side dish is going to lag behind a little. Time to dig in

[Anonymous No.17098223]

the smaller half is a little overdone, but the rest falls apart at the mere mention of a fork, good enough for me I reckon.

[Anonymous No.17098239]

Holy shit that side dish is taking awhile

[Anonymous No.17098240]

>>17098223
Quality thread

[Anonymous No.17098250]

>>17098239
Clean your stove before posting it OP

[Anonymous No.17098261]

>>17098069
>T-fal pan
Based

[Anonymous No.17098283]

>>17098250
I told you last thread, and I quote, "no"
>>17098261
Had it for six years running, the risotto I did last time kept me going through college

Anyhow, delicious fucking tenders, but my side dish is gonna be another twenty fucking minutes.

[Anonymous No.17098292]

Found this under the stove after seeing it in >>17098239, what the hell am I gonna do with this?

[Anonymous No.17098296]

>>17098292
Forgetting images already, I need another beer.

[Anonymous No.17098328]

Based al/ck/ poster
Captcha has made this species rare
>t. failed one sober

[Anonymous No.17098345]

>>17098328
10-4 good buddy, on beer #11 and I got work at 7 tomorrow, but fuck 'em though.

Side-dish reveal in 10 minutes-ish, that's when it'll get done

[Anonymous No.17098347]

>>17098296
Lol. I saw that while noticing your carpeted kitchen>>17098292

[Anonymous No.17098349]

Nice job anon. I made a thread a bit ago about some venison stew I made tonight. Didn't take off though so this looks like a good place to share.

[Anonymous No.17098350]

>>17098283
Is that the same watermelon from a month ago?

[Anonymous No.17098353]

>>17098349
Nice kettle pioneer woman

[Anonymous No.17098354]

>>17098069
>hillbilly
>drinking imported beer
nice LARP

[Anonymous No.17098373]

>>17098354
>Hillbilly
>Allegedly from Iowa
Nice larp op

[Anonymous No.17098377]

>>17098347
That's the 70's for ya
>>17098349
Looking good anon, I'm having most of my deer processed into hamburger, but I might save some thigh meat to try this with
>>17098350
yes
>>17098354
Fuck you, I got my bonus, so I can afford the stuff that's 9.99 a six-pack instead of 6.99 for a pack of Coors Banquet

Anyway, side-dish is done.

[Anonymous No.17098380]

>>17098373
Im not OP but Im rural Iowa and the deer are everywhere. Not a fan of how they taste

[Anonymous No.17098381]

>>17098353
Why does my dutch oven trigger you so?

[Anonymous No.17098387]

>>17098373
What the fuck would you call me then?

[Anonymous No.17098389]

>>17098328
New captchas are damn near boomer proof too.

[Anonymous No.17098390]

>>17098380
It doesn't and it was a poor excuse for a joke. I recant what I said

[Anonymous No.17098395]

>>17098387
I always thought hillbilly was a southern thing....

[Anonymous No.17098402]

>>17098380
>deer are everywhere

[Anonymous No.17098405]

>>17098380
In my experience you just gotta cook them right, but it isn't for everyone. What corner are you from?

My preferred potato, butter and salt.

[Anonymous No.17098410]

>>17098387
Are you doing farm work tomorrow?

[Anonymous No.17098415]

>>17098405
Looks good. No top the tater or ranch?

[Anonymous No.17098422]

>>17098395
It really is, but most of my coworkers are from Linn and Polk county, so they call me "hillbilly" even though they moved to my neck of the woods just because the cost of living is cheaper. At least one of them likes to go hunting with me.

[Anonymous No.17098425]

>>17098402
Zoom in of a screenshot. I had a very large buck in the driveway tonight. Iowa has big ol deer

[Anonymous No.17098430]

>>17098410
If you can call splitting and hauling wood down to my parents' because that's what they use to heat their house farm work, then yeah. Most folks just finished getting anhydrous on, so the busy season is coming to a close.

[Anonymous No.17098431]

>>17098405
Im about 20 minutes west of DSM

[Anonymous No.17098441]

>>17098422
I'm a little farther north and our deer don't get this big on their twig and leaf diet.

[Anonymous No.17098444]

>>17098441
Responded to the wrong post but whatever...

[Anonymous No.17098446]

>>17098415
Outta Ranch, but I use it on chicken mostly
>>17098425
Very nice buck, had three different ones stand 15 feet from me, but my 93 year old shotgun kept soft-striking primers, gotta weld an extra mm to the tip of the firing pin.

[Anonymous No.17098448]

>>17098430
U work for your parents and they make you show up at 7?? Wtf

[Anonymous No.17098456]

>>17098425
This was the tallest deer Ive ever seen. We usually have 1 or 2 big bucks floating around but they are built stouter and sborter

[Anonymous No.17098462]

>>17098431
Neat, I'm way away in the Southwest, but I come up to West Des Moines to bar hop occasionally
>>17098441
Our deer get fucking massive because all they eat is feed corn and soybeans. A friend of my parents put a 6 foot tall fence around a section of his field and saw those bean plants three times the size of his other ones.

[Anonymous No.17098468]

>>17098448
That's after I get off work at the pharma company where I landed a Chemist job after college. I moved back to the area but in exchange my dad is giving me some parts for pic related

[Anonymous No.17098486]

>>17098468
>Hillbilly
>Chemist
Don't add up. Btw do you know how to make mdma? I like the personalized plates and it's not running yet?

[Anonymous No.17098494]

>>17098462
Can they shoot nuisance deer all year round?

[Anonymous No.17098498]

>>17098462
Southwest huh? Never spent much time in that area. Just took a trip to Prairie Du Chein on the Mississippi. Very nice. Went to school in Iowa City, pretty girls. Always loved Okoboji, overpopulated now. Im rural as fuck now and love it.pic related

[Anonymous No.17098506]

>>17098486
You can take the man out the farm for four years, but you can't take the farm out of the man.
>mdma
Haven't looked it up, but I did a lot of organic chemistry, so I could probably figure it out pretty quick.
>personalized plates
Those are grandpa's old plates, I swapped them two weeks ago. And it now runs and drives, not much else. I post it on /o/ every so often.

[Anonymous No.17098520]

>>17098494
Nope. Hunting's popular enough that we get them cut in half in a few days.
>>17098498
Okoboji's great, been there once every other year, went to college in Pella, it was too expensive and the girls were ugly as sin.

[Anonymous No.17098536]

>>17098520
I almost went to school in pella because dutch girls are hot. Found out it was a dry campus and toured ames. Ugly girls everywhere. Iowa city was full of hot chicks. Had a good time barely graduatted

[Anonymous No.17098549]

>>17098536
Based. "Dry Campus" is a relative term, everybody drank, usually heavily. I remember doing shots in the language building bathrooms, and passing the bottle of Hawkeye Vodka between stalls in the dorm bathrooms.

Pic related was sold as a "Toothpick holder"

[Anonymous No.17098565]

>>17098549
Whats the big bar that you can go up to in a boat thats between east and west boji? Its right off the highway. The Ritz maybe?? Good times. I remember fingering a hot girls butthole the day after my 21st birthday. That was a long time ago.

[Anonymous No.17098575]

>>17098402
can you kill fawns?

[Anonymous No.17098578]

>>17098565
I spent my 21st birthday chugging a bottle of Smirnoff and hitting on chicks that were way below my league. Never been to a bar in Okoboji, the resort always had some kind of event with their heavily abusable "drink ticket" system. Come to think of it, I don't think I've been up there since I've been legal to drink.

[Anonymous No.17098606]

>>17098578
Best birthday I ever had was in boji. Born 7/2. Went out at midnight on 7/1 at 21 with a girl 2 years older than me that I adored and wound up dating. Next day 2 different bars had 21 pitchers for $21, so had huge party time. Got up on the 3rd and went to Okoboji. Partied it up anx hooked up with a hot asian party slut. Miss it bro.

[Anonymous No.17098612]

>>17098606
Birthday started out in Iowa City btw

[Anonymous No.17099941]

>>17098082
You can tell he's from Michigan with that fucking filthy nigger stove

[Anonymous No.17100031]

>>17098468
Out of curiosity, what does a chemist make in Iowa?

[Anonymous No.17100040]

>>17100031
About 46k a year starting. Sounds low, but cost of living here is really cheap.

[Anonymous No.17100089]

>>17100040
>chemist

More like HPLC monkey or glorified ingredient weigher

>t. actual PhD chemist

Also, I went to Iowa State, home of Henry Gilman

[Anonymous No.17100097]

>>17098082
I know you're a disgusting drunk living in a shitty trailer but damn dude wipe down your stovetop

[Anonymous No.17100100]

>>17100089
Nobody asked and nobody cares

[Anonymous No.17100154]

>>17100089
Both, thank you. But hey, my job title still says "Chemist"

[Anonymous No.17100165]

clean your fucking kitchen you mong
disgusting

[Anonymous No.17100193]

>>17100100
>t.

[Anonymous No.17101048]

>>17098387
hillbilly is area specific and it implies you live in the hills
hillbilly is a condensed form of Hill Billie: a location and a common name for people from that location
it's the same as country Jake, ghetto Leroy
if you don't live in the hills, you aren't a hillbilly

[Anonymous No.17101098]

>>17101048
Do the loess hills count?

[Anonymous No.17101966]

>>17098446
Get a new hammer or striker spring first, probably weak after 100 years.

[Anonymous No.17102040]

>>17098069
I keep seeing that pan everywhere.
What brand and model is it?

[Anonymous No.17102297]

>>17098082
>half past 4
4 out of what? 10?

>>17102040
T-Fal. It's a French company, although many of their items are likely made in Vietnam.
Their teflons have a red logo in the middle which changes color or disappears when the pan is heated up so you don't get it too hot and emit birb-killing teflon vapors.
I'm going to bet it's from the Color Luxe Nonstick Sapphire Blue 12-pc set from their US website.

[Anonymous No.17102304]

>>17101048
I thought it just referred to Appalachian trash

[Anonymous No.17102316]

>>17102040
>I'm going to bet it's from the Color Luxe Nonstick Sapphire Blue 12-pc set from their US website.
This is powerful autism

[Anonymous No.17102320]

>>17102297
Thank you

[Anonymous No.17102321]

>>17102040
You don't care. You just found a new pepe that looked like he was questioning or wondering and wanted to post it, frogspammer.

[Anonymous No.17102346]

>>17101966
Spring definitely, I bet I can fix the hammer.
>>17102297
4 out of 10, so medium I guess
>>17102304
I will be sure to use the technically correct term next time, there is a powerful autism that permeates this place.

[Anonymous No.17102352]

>>17102297
Here's the serial number and back if that tells you anything.

[Anonymous No.17102359]

>>17102352
Forgot pic, I haven't even started drinking yet.

[Anonymous No.17102382]

Since this thread's still up, let's do a little cookin

[Anonymous No.17102389]

where to get deer

[Anonymous No.17102465]

>>17102389
they live outside, go shoot one
if you live in a place where guns are banned, go stab one

Heat (clean(er)) stove to 4

[Anonymous No.17102493]

>>17102465
Glad to see you wiped down the stove

[Anonymous No.17102506]

>>17098197
aren't you not supposed to kill does?

[Anonymous No.17102513]

>>17102493
First, the stove. Next, the counter

[Anonymous No.17102514]

>>17102465
> live in a country with no forests or wilderness of any kind except the ocean
Why even live.

[Anonymous No.17102520]

>>17102513
I look forward to your continued self improvement, hillbilly chemist.

[Anonymous No.17102537]

>>17102514
Belgium?
>>17102520
wagmi

The grease burns are sexy, I swear.

[Anonymous No.17102563]

>>17102537
Denmark. Guess it's not that far to Sweden though, as long as borders remain open.

[Anonymous No.17102566]

>>17098120
>A little

[Anonymous No.17102572]

>>17102389
The deer gettin place usually involves woods/fields. Killed a doe and this lil guy myself this year with a bolt .44mag.
t. Hoosier

[Anonymous No.17102587]

>>17102563
Yeah, though seeing modern Sweden makes me glad my grandfather's grandfather left Småland for America. Of course, were I born in Sweden I probably would have different views.

[Anonymous No.17102601]

>>17102572
That's a good one! Here's one I got two years back, only pic that I have.

[Anonymous No.17102631]

When you withdraw your bacon, let the grease cool down so you can collect it in tupperware. This way, you can cook your eggs using it.

Now to eat a pound of bacon.

[Anonymous No.17102645]

>>17102587
We like to shit on Sweden, but our own situation isn't much better I'm afraid.

[Anonymous No.17102659]

>>17098456
>tfw all local deer are sborter
y even live bros?

[Anonymous No.17102690]

>>17102601
That’s a nice buck! I wish I had more photos of nice bucks I’ve killed but I just never really took any. 34 been hunting since I was 6-7. I’ve made a mental note the last year or so to start taking pictures of hunts (deer, turkey, pheasant, dove, quail, rabbit, squirrel) I go on

[Anonymous No.17102695]

>>17102645
Good on you for sticking it out, but know that us upper midwesterners have a soft spot for Scandis if you need to move.

>>17102659
Mine are Whitetail, fucking massive compared to other places' deer, but I am still jealous of Nebraska for having Bison you can hunt.


wa la. A feast for one. Also, might have crosslinked this thread to /o/

[Anonymous No.17102709]

>>17102690
I mostly just do squirrel, rabbit, and deer. I've been hunting for about eight years, but college kind of put a damper on it.

Here's a pic I took so /k/ could tell me what camo to buy.

[Anonymous No.17102730]

Refridgerate and use over the week for all your pan frying needs. This is what I cooked the deer in btw.

[Anonymous No.17102733]

>>17102695
overcooked

try slow cooking thicc bacon. you want to slow cook it for 60 minutes, flipping it often and avoid letting any of it crisp. start with a lit on top for at least 30m

If done right, the bacon will almost look like it's smoked when its finished. all of the fat will render, and none of the meat will be crunchy. A single done piece should be stiff, staying straight when picked up with tongs, but still capable of being bent in half

do this and your bacon will melt your brain. soft texture. bacon flavor explosions. guests would literally COOM from eating it

>PROTIP
clean your fucking place while it slowcooks

[Anonymous No.17102737]

>>17102709
They tell you some kind of military larp camo or something useful like Realtree?

[Anonymous No.17102745]

>>17102733
hahah, a pigstynine

[Anonymous No.17102760]

>>17102316
>This is powerful autism
No it's not; here's why: You go to their US website:
https://www.t-falusa.com/
and click "Cookware", but that only takes you sets and collections. You have to scroll all the way to the bottom and in fine print there's "Cookware / Pots and pans", which is what you want because it displays all available cookware, not just giant sets.
Of that selection, you do a Ctl-F find on "blue" to match the colour of OP's pan. From the find results there's:
>EXCITE NON-STICK 14 PC. COOKWARE SET, BLUE (the Excite line has a different handle and a pouring spout so it doesn't count)
>COOK-N-STRAIN NON-STICK BLUE 14 PC. SET (the Cook-N-Strain line has a spout so drop this)
>COOK-N-STRAIN NON-STICK BLUE 3 PC. SET (smaller Cook-N-Strain set)
>COLOR LUXE NONSTICK SAPPHIRE BLUE 12PC SET
>COOK-N-STRAIN NON-STICK BLUE 14 PC. SET (a duplicate of a previous)
>SIMPLY COOK CERAMIC 12PC SET , BLUE (OP's pan is not ceramic)
So you see, the COLOR LUXE has the only blue pans on their site not automatically excluded.
However, OP said here >>17098283 he's had it over 6 years, so it's likely T-Fal has completely changed their styles and names, etc., so all of this could be wrong, but COLOR LUXE is the closest match on their US site.

[Anonymous No.17102766]

>>17102733
Will consider when I get a slow cooker
>>17102737
Strichtarn, so yeah. LARP central. I ended up just going with OD green because it was way cheaper.

Out of beer, time for whiskey.

[Anonymous No.17102782]

>>17102760
I have very seldom seen such magnitutes of savantry. Tell me, oh wizend autist, how I would go about determining what that pan is from just the serial number?

[Anonymous No.17102786]

>>17102465
>stove to 4
4 out of what? 10?

[Anonymous No.17102795]

>>17102786
4 out of 10, so medium I guess

[Anonymous No.17102798]

>>17102631
Can't you just pour it into a glass jar and not worry about cooling down?

[Anonymous No.17102808]

>>17102798
My glass jars are currently holding cherry preserves, and moonshine.

[Anonymous No.17102813]

>>17102808
welll, fs, can't you just drink the moonshine so you have an empty jar for the bacon fat? the actual state

[Anonymous No.17102835]

>>17102813
He’s a man that doesn’t put on any airs

[Anonymous No.17102844]

>>17102808
Is that a Calvin & Hobbes book upside down on the floor? should we take up a collection to buy you a scrap piece of paper to use as a bookmark?

[Anonymous No.17102871]

>>17102844
Nope, it's worse. I do have a couple of those Calvin and Hobbes books in my nightstand though. Good reading that.

[Anonymous No.17103114]

>>17098069
Met my man on o/. Got the mushrooms going and my ground beef cubes cooked up waiting in the pot lid with some bacon (I mostly wanted the grease from the bacon)
Yes, I cook like a minimalist nigger go fuck yourself

[Anonymous No.17103117]

>>17103114
fuck I drink too much forgot pick again

[Anonymous No.17103157]

>>17103117
Based minimalist cooker. Keep us posted how it turns out, just turned on The Return of the Jedi (original version)

[Anonymous No.17103189]

>>17103157
Jalopenos have gone in. (part of why bacon grease is important btw. Pork fat and jalopenos are very good friends)
Once they cook down a bit ill throw in them onions to carmalized all nice. I minced a small one small enough it'll probably disolve really to get that sweetness from the carmeli... I don't know how to spell I'm pretty drunk. And then a larger one is diced for textures.

[Anonymous No.17103206]

>>17100089
I made less than that at my first “chemistry” job 12 years ago extracting piss and blood samples for hplc. Pulled in 235k this year as R&D manager in oilfield services. Fuck your PhD, I don’t consider it any more or less valuable than 4-5 years industry experience when I evaluate candidates.

[Anonymous No.17103226]

>>17098575
easily just don't lead them as much

[Anonymous No.17103330]

>>17103206
Neither does anyone in any profession. Matter of fact, speaking from a mechanic point of view anyway, if you've gone to uti it's a strike against you in most places that school is trash. It produces confident idiots. You know, the most dangerous people in any profession.
Congrats on being smart and shit though.

[Anonymous No.17103433]

>>17103330
I just hate seeing dudes getting ragged on for starting at the bottom. Everyone has to pay their dues somehow. Anyway, for me, it's the McChicken.

[Anonymous No.17104804]

>>17103189
How did it turn out?

[Anonymous No.17104821]

>>17101048
Shut the fuck up, nigger.

[Anonymous No.17105552]

>>17098381
Don't listen to him, anon. I have the same one. Good value. Fuck enamel.

[Anonymous No.17106164]

>>17098082
>well-seasoned stove

[Anonymous No.17106596]

>>17104804
My bad got really drunk and had work today. It turned out great. I'll be having it for dinner tonight too. Wasn't too spicy, had all the deep earthy flavors and fruity sweetness from the guajillos and all that. Only thing it was missing was the smokey flavor I love from Chipotle meco peppers which they didn't have at the store. On that not, I went online to find em and read something about why it's hit or miss at the store. Turns out Mexicans agree with me that they're the best dried chili's and those fuckers hoard em.

[Anonymous No.17107155]

>>17106596
based and fuck mexico for hoarding peppers pilled

[Anonymous No.17107527]

>>17104821
not an argument, retard

[Anonymous No.17107865]

>>17107155
Pick of my monstrosity.

[Anonymous No.17108062]

>>17107865
I can't say I'd eat all of that plate, but I would eat it; and at least you clean your stovetop, unlike OP. Well done. Sides? Bread? Tortilla? Or just the plate by itself? add beer at least, what?

[Anonymous No.17108342]

>>17108062
>I can't say I'd eat all of that plate
Lol, that was just the first plate.
>Sides? Bread? Tortilla? Or just the plate by itself? add beer at least, what?
If beer counts, the chili was the side for beer. I drink to blackout ever night honestly. I'll probably be reading this reply as new in the morning.
As for cleaning kinda. I haven't used soap to clean my kitchen in a decade. But yeah, everyone thinks I keep it clean.

[Anonymous No.17109001]

vump

[Anonymous No.17109059]

>>17098349
I love cast iron but every time I clean mine i get rust on it, even if I do everything correctly. So annoying. Managed to get it where the only rust on it now is near the handle.

[Anonymous No.17109191]

Mornin' I'm kinda surprised the thread's still up. I woke up hungover in a barn 15 miles out of town, so that means it's egg time.

[Anonymous No.17109214]

>>17106164
It's me seceet to over 20 lbs. Of F L A V O R
>>17107865
Looking good! Looks kind of like something I made one time to take to a chili cookoff at the weird church, I got 4th place.
>>17109059
When T-fal dies I'm getting a cast iron pan, with my shoddy cleaning habits it'll be wonderfully seasoned.

Set heat to 4, add eggs to 4

[Anonymous No.17109222]

>>17102297
Hillbilly stoves go up to 11

[Anonymous No.17109227]

>>17098133
Is that a scrotum?

[Anonymous No.17109233]

>>17109191
fuck I really was praying you didn't wake up permanently

[Anonymous No.17109395]

>>17109227
It's supposed to be bewbs

[Anonymous No.17109402]

>>17109191
Huh

[Anonymous No.17109430]

>>17109402
It was an attempt at humor, it failed miserably.

[Anonymous No.17109441]

Finished product, got distracted and late for work. Coffee tasted like pool water, which means my wish.com coffee pot finally imploded.

[Anonymous No.17109459]

>>17109430
No it was not, that was an accurate description of the aftermath of my Thursday night. Preamble to which was drinking in said barn with a buddy of mine.

[Anonymous No.17110831]

>>17109191
to what did we set the skillet for these eggs? 4? 4 out of what? 10?

[Anonymous No.17110857]

>>17109459
Did you cuddle to keep warm? Not judging if you did

[Anonymous No.17110957]

>>17110857
>tfw ywn cuddle with a hungover hillbilly in a barn 15 miles outside of town
why even live bros?

[Anonymous No.17111014]

>>17109214
>>17110831
4 out of 10, so medium I guess

[Anonymous No.17111032]

>>17098140
those are the most impotent cabinet handles ive ever seen

[Anonymous No.17111069]

>>17110957
Just gave me a flashback of drinking in my cousin's barn. Or maybe it was a false memory. Who knows. Either way my cousin is a she

[Anonymous No.17111232]

>>17111069
>>17110957
>>17110857
Not him but I come from a long line of rednecks. Not the peaceful lifted truck pop country kind, the kind to whom laws don't apply. The kind that thinks being kicked out of a township is a good night topper. On a 4 wheeling trip we ended up boxing the neighbors for fun, and they much enjoyed it so they came to our camp with some beers. Not enough for all of us though so a huge actual fight broke out amongst my family where multiple people were thrown into the bon fire including myself, my uncle was thrown heels over into the one of our motor homes leaving a boot print on the roof, every table set up with food and shit was knocked over and whatever other havoc all in a matter of seconds. When the dust settled, the neighbors he'd left and we noticed we tipped over a cooler thankfully containing more beer. In the morning, apparently the neighbors weren't so afraid anymore. They came to borrow some tools cause one of their bikes had an issue so we set out to helping. Until my dad slams open the motor home door in his tightly whitys and a t shirt to yell "FUCKING GUYS I THOUGHT HIDING THE VASELINE WAS A GOOD IDEA BUT DAM DOES MY ASS HURT". after we had finished laughing we turned to notice the neighbors were gone, and in fact packing up their camp now, no longer wishing to ride today. They were gone in minutes kek.

[Anonymous No.17111541]

>>17111232
Sounds about right, my line are kinda reserved, conservative country bumpkins that kept a lot of oddball habits from their ancestors. My mom's side of the familty, however, is the type to own airboats worth more than their homes, and eat whatever they can shoot from the kitchen window.

[Anonymous No.17111553]

>>17111541
Dropped my pic.

Brat time.

[Anonymous No.17111564]

>>17111232
I hope this is real? Appalachian?

[Anonymous No.17111567]

Set stove to 4, heat 1x bottle of budweiser to boil

[Anonymous No.17111571]

>>17111553

[Anonymous No.17111577]

>>17098395
You're thinking of Redneck

[Anonymous No.17111580]

>>17111571
nice

Add sausage

[Anonymous No.17111591]

>>17111580
U got buns son?

[Anonymous No.17111639]

>>17111591
no, that costs beer money

Set aside all but one to chill, and eat over the week

[Anonymous No.17111643]

you know where this is going

[Anonymous No.17111660]

Fry it up nice, try to get a golden skin all the way around.

[Anonymous No.17111700]

>>17111564
It is and yes. Family got here around the revolution, bought property from the Penn family in Shamokin, my grandfather moved toward Philly, but we always make regular trips back to the mountains for any excuse. Esecially 4 wheelin

[Anonymous No.17111735]

>>17111700
Awesome. Sounds way better than a family that tries to appear normal

[Anonymous No.17111739]

>>17111735
Project much weirdo

[Anonymous No.17111744]

>>17111700
>Shamokin
wow how embarrassing

[Anonymous No.17111745]

>>17111660
I'm new here but isn't anybody gonna tell this guy to cram it up his ass???

[Anonymous No.17111752]

>>17111739
Homosaywhat

[Anonymous No.17111762]

>>17111752
You already said it twice

[Anonymous No.17111778]

>>17111762
Check and mate

[Anonymous No.17111815]

>>17111744
Not sure how but what I would think should be more embarrassing than anything is reading a persons story about his dad making a public incestuous rape joke wearing nothing but his underwear and then thinking that person is capable of feeling embarrassed. Idk though, never felt that feel b4

[Anonymous No.17111865]

>>17100040

Not sure what you're making now, but I was getting 70K a year at a dump of a plant in SE Texas as a development chemist. Only problem is you have to work and possibly live in areas with tons of chemical plants where cancer occurrences are like x1000 higher than they should be. Great bike riding though.

[Anonymous No.17111933]

My fondest family moment has to be the time my Dad, shirtless and billigerent as usual, burned all the burgers and wieners. When we commented on the charred hockey puck meat, Dad proceeded to pick up the charcoal grill, bash it off of the deck and hurl across the lawn.

>little char on these ones dad
>Im cookin the mothafuckas for yall. Shut up
>dad theyre burnt
>they aint done yet
>dad please let me flip them
>u want flip??? Ill flip the mother fuckers
>there eat the god damn things now! They done!

As dads gleaming leaky gut and greasy hair gleamed in the sun, we stared on in disbelief as the shitty Wal Mart charcoal grill lay smoldering in the grass.

[Anonymous No.17111950]

>>17111815
Aren't all dad's incestuous pedos?

[Anonymous No.17111968]

>>17111933
Bro...

[Anonymous No.17112001]

>>17111933
You had a good Dad

[Anonymous No.17112007]

>>17111933
My dad don't even know how to grill. What a fucking embarasment....

[Anonymous No.17112041]

Got sidetracked

Final product, fired to perfection, served best with my grandma's banana pepper relish.

[Anonymous No.17112053]

>>17112041
Not even a slice of white bread to wrap around it?? And/or a shot of aldi's KETCHUP?

[Anonymous No.17112077]

>>17112053
Bread costs money, no aldi's for 100 miles

Little pink on the inside, so I let Chef Mike handle it.

[Anonymous No.17112298]

>>17111567
>Set stove to 4
4 out of what? 10?

[Anonymous No.17112320]

>>17112041
>plate
>cup
>utensils
>seasoning
>needle-nose pliers
The complete kitchen.

[Anonymous No.17112340]

>>17098082
DOnt you call it venison?
The hunters around me are pretty rural, but they still call it that.

You think venison would be good in a curry?

[Anonymous No.17112383]

>>17098283

>TFW no watermelon waifu

[Anonymous No.17112453]

>>17111745
No, not a fan of forced reddit memes.

[Anonymous No.17112532]

>>17112340
When it's off the animal, sometimes. But around here, deer meat is deer meat. And yes, I think it would like curry very much.

>>17112298
4 out of 10, so medium I guess

Make sure you save the beer broth to use in a soup or sauce base.

[Anonymous No.17112827]

>>17098069
This was one the best threads in a long while, thank you hillbilly anon

[Anonymous No.17113028]

>>17112827
Agreed.