/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.17003713]

Meanwhile, at the /ck/ Steakhouse...

[Anonymous No.17003717]

Yes, hello, I would like to order 5 baked potatoes.

[Anonymous No.17003719]

Larp threads are garbage.

[Anonymous No.17003722]

>>17003713
>someone put water in the chocolate fountain again

[Anonymous No.17003725]

>>17003719
Sir, this is a steakhouse

[Anonymous No.17003726]

this ketchup isn't watery enough
can I get an additional glass of water?

[Anonymous No.17003727]

one steak please

[Anonymous No.17003740]

I claim this table
Also all your steak knives are mine now!

[Anonymous No.17003750]

>>17003713
does would the /ck/ staekhouse serve stale fast food and questionable advice & recommendations?

[Anonymous No.17003758]

>>17003750
It would serve only the finest haut cuisine. You probably wouldn't even be allowed to eat there, it's got a strict no-pleb policy.

[Anonymous No.17003763]

>>17003758
Bloomin onion please.

[Anonymous No.17003769]

>>17003763
Don't you ever fucking reply to me again.
Get out of my thread.

[Anonymous No.17003777]

>>17003719
>Roll against roleplaying lore
>Roll 5
>5 - 8 = -3
>"Your character identifies it as larping."

[Anonymous No.17003781]

>>17003769
You have never been to a steakhouse, Chang.

[Anonymous No.17003783]

>>17003777
OH BABY A TRIPLE

[Anonymous No.17003785]

>>17003713
Do you have any vegan steaks?

[Anonymous No.17003786]

>>17003758
>finest haut cuisine
And are these faggots the brigade de cuisine?

[Anonymous No.17003787]

>>17003777
Oh them are some holy trips there anon

[Anonymous No.17003805]

>>17003713
Ayo lemme get uhhhhhhh *smacks lips* mchicken wiffa muffuggin 3 packs of sauce white boi

[Anonymous No.17003830]

>>17003781
We have a fryer, onions, flour, and panko crumbs don't we?
Fuck it, I don't care if it's on the menu or not, I'll cook it. Front can figure out how much to charge.
Also, TIME ON THOSE POTATOES?

[Anonymous No.17003845]

>>17003785
Sorry m8 I don't have any fake meat, but I could do you up a salad with sauteed side vegetables or something if you want, or a loaded baked potato no meat.

[Anonymous No.17003884]

*autistic screeching*

[Anonymous No.17003885]

>>17003830
Delicious. Mein compliments. Thank you.

[Anonymous No.17003902]

Bar please

[Anonymous No.17003905]

what the fuck is a sheila and why is there a woman in the mens' bathroom

[Anonymous No.17003920]

>>17003830
>TIME ON THOSE POTATOES?
The baked ones the scalloped ones or the fried ones?
Fucking god why are there so many options for FUCKING POTATOES HERE!

[Anonymous No.17003925]

>Regardless of what I order the server calls me a faggot and just brings me out a mc chicken with extra mayo

>Every time the janitor cleans up a table all the workers stop what they're doing and start screeching at him

>the staff is extremely diverse but incredibly racist

WHY CAN'T I STOP COMING HERE?

[Anonymous No.17003929]

>>17003920
What ticket do the scalloped and fried go with?
All I've got is baked over here.

[Anonymous No.17003930]

>>17003713
Bloomin onion extra cum please

[Anonymous No.17003932]

>>17003713
>14 year old host greets the 35 top 10 min before close
>purposefully sets up a large table, as the party section with booths wont fit the majority of the patrons
>immediately after sitting, the patriarch of the party breaks a chair due to sheer mass
>"MANAJAHR I NEEDUH MANAJAHR" it cries
>a 35 year old power hungry peaked in highschool manlet walks up to the beached being
>"rightaway sir i can help u yes"
>runs off to the kitchen
>"35 top sitting down"
>one line cook kills himself on the spot, covering the vents in grey matter
>"salahd boih i need 3 thunders made asap, customer fell need to make the visit better" the manager cries
>"i already put everything up sir" the wagie gulps
>"get everything back out boy , theres a 35 top that just sat you heard that right"
>manager, at a slow walking pace, returns to the table moments later with 3 pristine desserts made with "love"
>"i hope everything turns out great for you all, if there is anything i can do for you please don't hesitate to flag down your server"

>minutes pass, the line is standing absorbing hourly pay as the server brings tray after tray of root beer and coke with no ice because "if im gonna pay for a drink i wanna pay for a full glass not half ice half soda"
>45 minutes after the doors have been locked the pod's patriarch flags down the nearest staff member
>"WE AHR REDE" screams the beachmaster
>"alright everyone, whatll ya have :)"
>"ill have a med rare sirloin with mashed potatoes" pipes up a younger member of the coagulation
>the whole mass erupts in laughter
>the patriarch announces loudly "we'll all have a extra well done porterhouse, but we want some pink ya hear dont be burning our din din, with a side of chicken tenders, make sure theyre frozen beforehand, otherwise a salad, no croutons we dont take kindly to gluten, for the second course we want you to make us biscuits and gravy on the fly, if you get this done right we'll tip extra (some members snicker) finally for dessert -

[Anonymous No.17003934]

yes one order of 'deenz' please

[Anonymous No.17003936]

yeah lemme get uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh steam well with 'vark sauce

[Anonymous No.17003937]

>>17003713
>bar full of drunks casually discussing suicide
>dining room full of foreigners on vacation in America who are all yapping endlessly about how shit America is except for two guys in a fist fight over Fagusea being better than Cuckish and one guy who brought deenz from home eating them out of the tin by himself
>kitchen has no idea how to cook anything and everyone is lecturing everyone else on how they’ll never make it in the industry except for some cunt burning the fuck out of a grilled cheese
>one guy at the hostess station demanding a McChicken
>tons of turbo autists who haven’t left their houses in months ordering from home

[Anonymous No.17003947]

>>17003932
> - we want one of everything but made slightly differently so that its a minor but painful inconvenience"
>finally, as the last letters are written down on the servers struggling notepad, the patriarch adds one last touch "make sure theres no hair this time, we came by a month ago with my wifes side of the family and there was a hair in our pasta, we had the whole ticket for free cuz of that, dont want to have that happen again ya hear"
>the server nods, smiles and walks away
>"35 top comin back" shouts the server to the kitchen, who area all absent from the line (they went outside to smoke)
>tickets print
>the line cooks scurry to work, visible depression in there movements
>30 minutes pass as everything is prepared
>"hot food in the window" the hot side announces
>the server along with an assistant manager and manager grab the trays full of food ready to walk to the table
>as they reach the dining room they discover the entire 35 top shit their seats and left, leaving a note reading "eat shit wagies we're going to mcdonalds for some real food"
>the entire staff is found dead the next day of an apparent suicide pact

[Anonymous No.17003949]

>>17003929
Fried ones with some autist ordering fucking chicken tenders and two fried onions all smothered in the same sauce
Scalloped with something the waitress wrote down as the "any hole's a hole", i think its a rump getting fucked by a hotdog.

[Anonymous No.17003955]

>>17003949
Fried with tendies comin' up, hole's goin' in.

[Anonymous No.17003960]

>>17003937
Lost it @
>brought deenz from home eating them out of the tin by himself

[Anonymous No.17004081]

>>17003713
>Good evening sir we will check your restaurant for rats and mice

[Anonymous No.17004088]

>>17004081
No worries m8, the spiders we hired for pest control are good at what they do.

[Anonymous No.17004138]

>>17003713

[Anonymous No.17004147]

>>17004138
HE'S GONNA SAY IT

[Anonymous No.17004163]

>>17003713
May I suggest the soup du jour, sir?

[Anonymous No.17004168]