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Kino webm /ck/ thread?
I came to /ck/ expecting humans discussing quality meals, but instead I get porcine Americans discussing their favourite trough composition.
>>16988339>>16988345sounds like you need a good sloppa to take the edge off
>>16988348I am the bone of my eggShell is my bodyAnd yolk is my bloodI have created over a thousand eggy breadsUnknown to sanitationNor known to health inspectorsHave withstood heat to create many omelettesYet, those hands shall never leave the fortSo, as I pray: UNLIMITED EGG FORTS!Here I come, Surly King of Heroes. Do you have enough eggs in stock?
>>16988348how does he get out?
>>16988473he's not allowed to leave until all the eggs have sold
>>16988473Why would he want to?
>>16988356eggs fry when they are cracked
>>16988341why not just snip your scissors a bunch of times through the whole stack of pasta at the start so you don't have to awkwardly hold them for the entire meal? better yet use a knife
>>16988567He's doing it to piss off his wife
>>16989191say what you will but the guy is entertaining, he's like a real life looney tunes character
>>16989065I've done this before. It's not bad, you don't taste too much tea though.
One thing to look forward to in Korean barbecue. The meat is always guaranteed fresh.
>>16989173>>16989177>>16989180>>16989182>>16989183>trying REAL HARD to get (yous) by naming all their webms American
>>16989474Never fails to hook them in.
>>16989516now that are what I am call flame grilled
The same webms coming in similar orders makes me check the date to confirm its actually a new thread.
>>16988356I got the reference cookbro
>>16989065It adds almost no tea flavor that way.When you make the coffee put the teabag on top of the grinds instead.
>>16989397What is that? Eel?
>>16989516do g*rmans really?
>>16989633This guy and his family is gonna get diabetes.
>>16989645>implying it's not just an abomination he made up for views
>>16989633I think I got diabetes just from watching that.
>>16989474It worked then.
>>16989633I love how happy he is. I hope this is for his birthday party!
>>16989382I haven't laughed this hard in ages, talk about making the best out of a shitty situation
>>16989173Macht die Deutscher wirklich?Don't know how to really say it, high school German class was ten years ago.High school was ten years ago...
>>16988567by using the scissors at random you're not guaranteed to not pick up a long spaghetti. this way he's safe
>>16989258like the town fool
>>16989633adding lots of sweet things together doesn't make you a good cook
>>16989945honestly the person who made this is seething about white people
>>16989945The pizza looks a little spicy but ok
>>16989173how the fuck do people like this afford so much food, is food that cheap in germany?
>>16990653It's basically the same as murrica. Cheap ass trash in abundance.
>>16990673>Fat - Check>Ear gauges - Check>Knuckle tattoos - Check>Unshaven slovenly appearance - Check>Wigger Apparel - Check He is put together as well as one of Jack's recipes.
>>16990721I wanna beat this guy with a bag of oranges till he cries!
>>16990880I wonder how many people we have left here who know who that is.
>>16988567That makes it harder to pick em up with a fork, then he would have to switch to a spoon.
>>16990890Boxxy isn't particularly obscure.
>>16990941Maybe he should just still his face in the plate like the fat pig he clearly is.
>>16990583These look horrible ngl
>>16990601You get to have sex with her and use her as your personal cum dumpster for one night,BUT you have to eat an entire plate of insectsDo you do it?
>>16989474>gets posted EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THREAD>gets replies EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THREADAt this point I think replying like a retard is a meme in and by itself
>>16990880I don't get it
>>16990960Good webm ruined. This is why you read the filename first folks.
>>16990964I would not go through the trouble of unbuckling my belt for that chick. Does she really look that good to you?
>>16989633>>16989633I've always maintained that Jason Derulo is a fucking android. He has absolutely zero SOVL and his facial expressions are uncanny and rehearsed. Fuck Jason Derulo. Fucking soulless tinman.
>>16990991just relax and enjoy american cuisine
>>16991000It works as a webm on /ck/ but I can't imagine sitting through a half hour episode of whatever that shit is.Who are the people who watch this?
>>16990986a solid 7+ considering the median girl is like a 5 that's pretty good
>>16988541it really bothers me that they cut all the hot dogs individually instead of lining them up and cutting through all of them
>>16989382>Tfw no dipping nub on my hand to assist me in eatingLife's not fair anons
>>16988345I have never, ever witnessed a webm thread on /ck/ that actually showed recipes or food preparation. Only garbage meme restaurants with gaudy sauces poured on them, or literal retarded people eating and cooking disgusting food. There should be some kind of “serious” recipe video tags, it’s unbearable. Really there is a great market for these. You could have recipe threads, knife skill threads, cooking threads, the demand is there.
>>16991114Here i think this is one from the thumbnail preview OR it might be porn
>>16988541Do Slovaks really eat that??
>>16990583Those do not look like croisants at all, they look like sweet rolls shaped like croisants
>>16990601That's straight cannibalism
>>16990713>eat sandwich like taco>eat taco like sandwich
>>1698947460% of the time it works everytime
>>16989186Not my problem
>>16990986Ok, here's the thing. You have to fuck all the women. The closer you get to fucking every single woman the better.
>>16990880>>16990890>>16990980That was oc from a /ck/ poster who was brave enough to post herself on the board. You can imagine what happened.
>>16988339why bother taking the time to cut off the corners of the dorito bag... or take them out 1 by 1
>>16988541>cornflakesthose are cheerios...
>>16989065i got such a caffeine rush off of this that i felt like i'd just done a fat rail. crashed hard though
>>16988541This would be completely fine if the dogs were completely dry and not piping hot when plated. You can have a tomato based sauce on the side to dip them in or something, and you could probably add yogurt to the berries and cereal, but at that point you might as well just cook normal food and not be fucking around i guess
>>16989633>directed by gaspar noe
>>16989173american here. in my hometown, this is a typical light breakfast.
>>16989945idk if ur makin fun of ppl 4 eatin cereal u mite be petty
>>16991011>cooking pasta for 15-20 minutesChrist
>>16991150no preparation what is this fuck talking about
>>16989910it looks like it could be very easily removed. idk why you'd choose to have some shit hanging there that you could basically remove with a razor blade and some gauze.
>>16989633Shawn Wayans fell off hard tho.
>>16991679>You can imagine what happened.Nothing very serious, which is why she kept tripfagging and posting OC afterwards, you drama queen.
>>16991468based and bugmen-hate pilled
>>16989258Dunno, by what little I have seen of him, his once every minute NOW I TALK EXTRA GAY, EXTRA FAST AND BITCH FOR NO REASON REALLY REALLY LOUD shtick gets old fast.
>>16989188If this didn't have nutella it would be actually good.
>>16991898>>16991919>NOW I TALK EXTRA GAYYeah mates don't worry we already know
>>16991898>>16991919You dirty birdies uwu
>>16989945Didn't realize drinking water was a white thing
>>16990964Eating some crunchy bugs is one thing but you would need to make an offer that atleast sets me for a year before I'd eat grubs in general, never mind this size and alive.
>>16991898this is awesome
>>16988341What a stupid fucking retard
>>16989954I watched this exact video while eating alone at a Korean BBQ months ago, so you cant fool me.
>>16989642Yes. They skin the eel alive, and then delight as it suffers the most hellish existence it can suffer...and then it's dead and they eat it.
>>16991013>a solid 7+your brain on yellow fever
>>16990880based raw egg drinker, i wish her some gains
>>16992750>stupid fucking retardDouble negative
>>16991898im happy that she's happy
>>16991019Who's that? I need to see the rest.
>>16989516>not immediately turning off the gas
>>16988473how does he get IN?
>>16989516I see he's paired a bold red with that steak. Good taste.
>>16992696How does he get real?
>>16991011Good zone boys only eat white foods
>>16988541>make it an extremely big deal that she's breaking the noodles>close
>>16989397Koreans are vile people.
>>16990601do the Chinese really?
>>16991615>not 56% of the timemissed opportunity anon
>>16988508Is /ck/ a /cm/ or /a/ pro-board?
>>16992818Imagine the smell
>>16989633is this what they mean when they say 'blacks season their food'?
>>16991012What is this from?
>>16993040take ur god damn watch off bro
>>16993329I think it's from season 1 of the Twilight zone. Not sure which episode
>>16992650As a picky eater, your neck has already been sized and an appropriate rope has been assigned to you.
>>16993040>they boil itwhy
>>16992696Egg cat if he real
>>16989382this is the most sickening thing i've ever seen on this board
>>16992998I got into /cm/ after a while because I kept doing a typo when trying to come to /ck/
Why are webms so shit in safari?
>>16991011Yo no cap fr i be on that bruh
>>16993617Because it's a toy browser, not an actual one
>>16988541>From all our cooking the one webm that sticks is production of some libtard shitpaper blogspot which is owned by some german-swiss group of dish that never existed before>This is after me making more than 50 WebMD
Anybody got the webm of a Japanese woman exageratedly enjoying some sashimi and beer? I think it was squid and might have been part of a movie
>>16989954I often watch Korean food and they are sickening. Absolutely American tier.
>>16992857HON HON HONSo this is how we get that buttery texture.
>>16992753>eating alone at a Korean BBQWhy don't you have any friends?
>>16988348>tfw I'm the one who started the "how does he get out?" meme
>>16989954>make the surface smooth>ruin smoothness with more wipingWhat exactly is she trying to achieve?
>>16989945O fuck i know that frozen pizza its from trader joes.Its not bad. But i am not even considered fully white and this is my diet at one point.
>>16994332We all dont have friends cookbro dont bully him and dont lie that you do.
>>16990601Always remember this is what you're afraid to talk to, anon.
>>16990880She's my type
>>16993722Why do you have to notify the entire thread? Why can't you just skip it?
>>16992996Is Zuck just eating plain toast
>>16994414Boy that seems safe
>>16994341How will you get out of being a faggot?
>>16994412He is consuming carbohydrates for caloric energy in the normal human fashion, duh
>>16988339How does one even come up with these "recipes"
>>16994453>people like to eat these things more or less separately, wot if we put them all together?
>>16994417literal insect niggers
>>16990880Anyone else have a boner?
>>16990960All I see is 2 sigmas enjoying each other's company, not a beta female in sight
>>16993329>>16993391it has a title and if you search for it leads to a youtube video
>>16994516I used to just be disgusted by him, but I've come to appreciate his commitment to being the biggest retard fatso possible and delivering content like this, godspeed to this faggot
>>16994558I can't listen to his youtuber yelling, but watching him bounce around like a jolly Grecian santa claus is hypnotizing
>>16994558>>16994569have you come out yet?
>>16994573That would make my mom so happy you have no idea anon. I think she'd be weird about if I was a tranny but she would score so many points with her friends for having a gay son it's a miracle she didn't make me wear dresses growing up
>>16994569yeah that really makes it entertaining, I've never watched a video of him, but somehow when he does this retard emoting shit that is usually just pathetic, it becomes so over the top retarded that it's humorous again. Especially if you know the old pictures of him when he was thin
>>16994754Was on board til the clamato. What the fuck?
>>16990505you may be a faggot but you will never be as much of a faggot as the guy on the left
>>16994762>til the clamatohope you don't have a history of heart disease in your family anon
>>16994767staged for butthurtdoesn't mean he's not actually a poof
>>16994775Nope, Chinese. Gum lei mouh a heart disease la
>>16993329The ending of Ice Cold in Alex.
>>16993910It's not sashimi, but I have this.
>>16994847I want to eat her clam
>>16994868Live action Wakakozake.
>>16988345Most of these aren't even american. Rent-free
>>16994900Hey, fuck you man. Don't disrespect Japanese people like that, you stupid faggot.
>>16994932>>16994900I'm fucking seething right now at this stupid asshole who thinks he can just talk about pure Nihon waifus like that because of his privilege or whatever. Literally kill yourself
>>16992901>peopleStretching it a bit
>>16995069God turkish coffee is gross. Literal mud.
>>16995131when they serve shredded cabbage like that do they do anything to it or is it just raw?
>>16995085Could I get more servings of cute Japanese women eating food? Source too?
>>16991114and decent webms only attract meme ironic replies instead of proper discussion
>>16995186That one's from Hondana Shokudo. I'm afraid that's the only clip I have, you'll have to make do with a severe Japanese man eating food.
>>16990986kino knife skills baby. wish i had muscle memory like that
>>16995227The egg cooks the rice due to a superheating effect caused by putting baking soda in the egg when mixing it.
>>16989516holy shit that's the worst camera work I've ever seen. So infuriating trying to watch something that is happening out of frame
>>16989397Fucking hell they really can't kill their fucking right
>>16994508more like a Borneor lmao
>>16994412you dont understand, he's on a mission from god>>16994516he should go on joe rogan
>>16995423This movie is the definition of overhyped celebshit.
>>16989382I want to use a nail cutter and snip that bitch so bad
>>16995316it's headless.Just like you every night
>>16995493I can't believe this actually works
What's this stuff I've been hearing about Featureman liking them a bit on the young side?I'm sure we all knew he was gay, but people are talking and saying he's got pics of 18-year-old boys on his Instagram or something. Not illegal, but not very fitting for his wholesome image either.>>16995498It works, but you gotta know what you're doing.If you get the ratios wrong you might cause a thermobaric explosion with the panko and the fire.
>>16994847>3DPD niggertacosayyyy lmao
>>16989397Evil. Needless suffering for what? Eating animals is one thing, torture is another. Fuck these wretched people.
>>16995548It's already dead. It's just muscles spazming since it's been killed recently and neurotransmitters are firing, causing muscle contraction due to salt/soy sauce/heat
>>16989516Which is more incompetent here?The cook or the cameraman?
>>16989633that's some upscale prisonfood shitgas all darkies, btw
>>16995498It doesn't work you fucking retard, they were in that flame for .2 seconds. It's impossible for the shrimp to get cooked that quickly. God i hate this fucking board.
>>16995561>>16995569This would not have happened with a ManGrate
>>16995586You have literal video proof, dipshit. Is scientific and video proof not good enough for anyone these days? I bet you haven't gotten the vax either LMAO
>>16992834he was born in the egg fortmolded by it
>>16995586You obviously have no idea of how hot those Asian gas cookers get. They're practically small jet engines.
>>16995531Literally me in 40 years.
>>16995691>*Powerhouse by Raymond Scott Quintette plays*
>>16995691It's cool and all that but at 10s machines misses the pan with whatever there is chopped in a container and right after that, on the next station you can see same shit drying up near the cooker. No way that's good for your books after a 100th portion, also a potential fire/smoke hazard
>>16989651We already see him what's the fucking difference
>>16990960thx i'm going to send it to my bf :3
>>16988339I kind of want some dorislocos.
>>16993544Removes the calories
>>16994968>NihonYou mean Nippon
>>16989180That's just a cannibal sandwich without bread.
>>16989186Is this not how they do it in italy?
>>16990713back when he could multitask :( better times, better times.
>>16995561>phone in the Styrofoam meat trayevery time
>>16994847Nigger tacosAwww shieeet
>>16992750Its not stupid if it works. Seems like you're the retard here.
>>16992783Actually it isn't. He was just using 2 adjectives. Stupid and retarded. It would only be a double negative if he said something like "can't shouldn't" in the same sentence. That being said, he's still a retard because obviously the sketti scissors work.
>>16992818Just another fake mukbang whore. Stop being a fag ass simp.
>>16994412I mean, I eat plain toast sometimes. Nothing inherently wrong with it.
>>16994508No. Its just some asian bitch drinking egg. But you're too deep in the cumbrain mode that you cant crawl out of your festering jizz hole.
>>16995531I'll never forget the day I learned fried bologna makes little sombreros.
>>16995316It's one of those creatures that is just too stupid to know that it is dead. There is no head, so all you are seeing is post-mortem muscular contractions.
>>16991898A cake that is perfectly acceptable for a 2 year old.
>>16990958Never gets old
>>16992818I know this gets tossed around here a lot, but trust me that I sincerely want you to take your own life. I'm imagining you hanging your retarded coomer self from a rope, and it makes me happy. Kill yourself you useless fucking simp.
>>16990583Name had me expect a french school...
>>16994767>>16994784I do that unironically if the pizza is too greasy
>>16994351It sucks we can't cook for anyone. Feelsbadman
>>16995691Must be this place.
>>16989382It's the little things that wear down my faith in humanity
>>16994414wtf is hanging in the background?
>>16996682Hang tight, I'm making a meme for you
>>16995531>being that palsied>placing styrofoam plate right next to a burner
>>16989382Why would you not just tie some floss around that thing and let it drop off?
>>16996710The man is nearly 100 cut him.some fucking slack, he makes wholesome videos and is loved by many on here so I suggest you wind your neck in
>>16996682Here you go anon >>16996701
>>16996740it's neither the palsy nor the age called into question here; it's the wisdom of placing a foam plate next to a burner when you can barely control your hands as it is.
>>16996753He's fucking mostly senile of course he's gonna do inadvisable things without realising what are you not getting retard
>>16996272he takes the toast ftom the toaster then remembers the toast is hot so he isnt supposed to hold it so he deposits the toast on the plate then picks it up an eats it
>>16996782Don't believe I didn't get anything; see >>16996710
>>16994414is that a dog in the background?
>>16994447doesn't this vaporize the non-stick coating and create fumes?
>>16994569>like a jolly Grecian santa claus
>>16995531poor guy needs help with his food
>>16997045No that's a pajeet
>>16992996Who's this strange man munching wunching on lomticks of toast?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-2QBYKI8LU anyone got the webm?
>>16997047>the nonstick coatingthat's clearly an iron wok??
>>16992996is it possible he's doing this on purpose? like he's being a freak alien just to get buzz? cause it almost seems movielike, like, he's acting more like startrek data than a true sperg.
>>16991845the only real prep is boiling some egs. the veg cutting takes 5 minutes. so a 20 minute dish, that's faster than french scramble and slower than a quick shitty scramble, i think the comparison is fair
>>16991011this is wrong in all sorts of ways but at the end of the day it's 100% passable comfort food
>>16990985mediocre webm saved
>>16988348>>16988356There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Egg Fort thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the webm. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Surly King guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your greasy egg sandwich on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about eggs. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Eggfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "HOW DOES HE GET OUT WITHOUT BREAKING THE EGGS?" You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.
>>16995631Why the fuck would you eat shellfish with chopsticks anyway?
>>16997504>He posted it once again>third person
>>16994754I think what irks me is his lack of evenly spreading the toppings like beans. Fag is so lazy he usually only throws it on his closest side unless its the sauces.Idk. May be camera angle.
>>16992655>>16994829It only looks like that because of the shutter speed on the camera. In real life it probably looks like blurry shit
>>16994558the theory a friend has is that he has a humiliation fetish.
>>16995069how does it work?>pipes under the sandfucking retard anon its just the coffee foaming up since its heated sand, you cunts make the same exact joke every thread>seethe and cope
>>16996748lmao, blessed anon.
>>16988341Do sweater Americans really?
>>16997790>a humiliation fetisha what?
>>16997908he gets off on people mocking him, allegedly.
>>16997910that makes some sense in a private setting, but having random people putting you down publicly sounds extremely psychologically corrosive color me skeptical it's intentional in the sense of a fetish
>>16997834Jesus, NO.Why are people like this free to roam around in public?
>>16991114I demand your death
>>16997421fb literally hired psychologists to help teach zuck to act more like a personhe's not normal
>>16995531old retard cant even cook a proper meal
>>16995601>look up MANGRATE™jack LOVES gadgets especially shitty ones
>>16995612>>16995691>>16995498>they actually believe regular flame completely cooks it in one milisecond if you put your hand in flame for 1 second you won't feel any burning
>>16997834as an american this makes me pig biting mad
>>16989633he spat that out, no way it was all eaten
>>16989945>Dumb poo people>Euro chefs and cooking is the height of food. No not even Japs can get close even though they joined the game late
I AM FASTING AND I WANT EAT EVERY SINGLE THING IN THIS THREAD
>>16993040That's czech and it's a meme cooking show, much like ja/ck/ only actually airing on TV. I remember this cancerous episode, it was supposed to resemble a soccer ball for an euro cup night or some shit.
>>16997790he has a weight gain AND humiliation fetish
>>16997834People who doe this should be castrated without anesthesia
>>16999084What a fucking cuck
>>16989633>he barely touched itThat's going to end up in the trash isn't it
>>16998790>bologna egg and cheese sammich isn't a "proper meal"nigga please
>>16999084Wow. I guess men are the disposable gender in every society, huh?