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What was his endgame?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e5gTx1fVU4
he's the master of pizza, he already achieved the endgame
I love trash pizza
Brazilians eat like Raccoons
>>16934133>pours bagged cum all over the pizzaSo that's where it went
>>16934133It's the pity olives tossed on with a flourish that make it.
For me? It's the taste of painted cardboard. Delicious.
>>16934133Does anyone know what's on the pizza? Is it cheese and mayo?
>>16934133>tosses dough>tears iterrytime
>>16934133someone more knowledgeable than me explain what the fuck he is putting on it
>>16934133>carrot sauce>rice>mayonnaisemmm delicious
A fucking paint scraper.
how do you want your pizza senpai?
>>16935068Made like shit and cooked in trash
I love this video so much.
>>16934133how does he get out without knocking over the pizzas?
>>16934133isnt the fire supposed to be where he is storing the wood O_O
>>16935095he flips the pizza up, breaks it and then tries to fasen it together KEKTHEN ALL THAT SLOPPA added in
>>16935095Got cocky, paid for it.
>>16935095need pt 2
>>16935095what a dumbass
>>16935103no but the fact he is fueling the oven with trash is concerning
>>16934133>watch this video haha just click the linkFuck off zoomer
>rips dough with attempted flourish>dips sad splash of uncertain orange liquid>smothers in random ingredients >cooks in a sooty hole in the wall that's never been cleaned>fuels fire with literal garbage scraps>power tools in the distance>floppy cardboard boxes>mangles with paint scraper>dumps a couple of token olives>all conducted in unearned confidenceTruly a cursed video.
>>16935182>he clicks linksYou don't have embed, old man?
>>16934133for me? it's the bucket of Ting. What is Ting? Some kind of Mexican food supplier? An industrial cleaning powder? Drugs? God knows, but it sure does make the pizza taste good.
>>16935030brazilian version of nacho cheese
I love how all you fags piled on the guy for making shit pizza, when 4/5 of you have never been near a kitchen.
>>16935392>DO NOT CRITICISM MEEE!!! NO NO NO!!!!!why how? every time I make the look, yet I have all the rights they do. your the logical does not make sense.
>>16935407Try again, Rahjnaldo.
>>16935392I have baked bread and pizza before. I made a ragu pizza the other day because I was out of tomatoes and it was pretty good.
>>16935444>ragu pizzathe fuck is wrong with you people?
The pathetic smattering of carrot juice. The insane amount of mayo. The fucking canned corn on top. It doesn't get any better than brazil pizza, does it?
>>16935444Ragu tastes like liquid candy. How could anyone like it?
I do not believe this is Brazil. This is slander, conspiracy. This is bull. This is Mars pizza. Cockamamie.Yes it was cooked with trash. You and I would still eat it on a cold winters night
>>16935559100% Brazil, read his fucking shirt. Also,>You'd eat it if you were freezing and hungry and had nothing else to eatTruly wonderful review for the eatery right there, I'd definitely pay the establishment's mark-up to be able to done on that heap of shit instead of going somewhere else or making my own. Not to mention that googling "Brazilian pizza" gets you insane shit on this level or worse. The two decent things to ever have come out of Brazil is the grillhouses and your cheese bread; the gay Argies and retarded Paraguayans do both better, respectively. Everything else is pure jungle sloppa. Stop with the damage control, Joao, you're only making yourself look desperate.
>>16934133Amazon spear-chuckers are fucking insane when it comes to pizza.
>the pizza box into the fire
>>16935472>MayoThat's a type of creamy cheese called Requeijão. Imagine cream cheese, but fattier and creamier. The taste is very dairy and not tangy like the cream cheese. It's made combining fresh cheese and cream. If you get a good brand, like Catupiry, the inventor of Requeijão, it's heavenly. Low quality ones, like the one in the video, are half hydrogenated fats.
>>16935095I want to know what the first handful of toppings is after he puts on the sauce. It looks like shredded cheese mixed with something else.
Brazilians are the Brazilians of earth
Brazilians rule. There's some guy in the area that's been riding around in a shitty "The Mask" costume on a bike. Like a full terrible zoot suit and mask. >But it was for Halloween you say. Except he's been doing this a full month before Halloween and I saw him yesterday lol.At least the young bitches have fat butts and most of the one's I've hung out with have been friendly as fuck lol.
>>16935630I would unironically eat pasta and rice and fries pozza.
>>16935630I don’t get the single olive thing. Like why.
>>16935633>Imagine cream cheese, but fattier and creamier. The taste is very dairy and not tangy like the cream cheeseIdk if this was your intent, but I'll look for some next time I go shopping. That shit sounds genuinely delicious. It's still not something I can imagine as a pizza topping, though.
>>16935699Looks like shredded chicken lol.
>>16935392I don't work as a pizza maker, anon. He does.
>>16935699>Tomato sauce>Shredded chicken (probably breast)>Catupiry cheese (a kind of Brazilian cream cheese)>Canned cornThat's actually a pretty popular "pizza" people enjoy over here, but our native pizza culture is pretty wild.
>>16935633A marca que inventou o requeijão é Poços de Caldas, anão.https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Requeij%C3%A3o
>>16935392Are you that cute anon that I flirted with a while ago? I recognize that red hair anywhere.Can i kiss you? Also yes I cook on a daily basis.
>>16934133I rarely ever come to this board, I knew I'd seen this video maybe 5+ years ago, I click the link and I've already disliked the video in the past. Funny the old ones are still getting people. Classic BR shitpost.
everything in the video is an utter mess, except the dough looked pretty good, better than 9/10 american places with shitty undercooked dough that has no tiger spotting and looks bready as fuck.
>>16936300I'd eat it. It sounds good.
>>16935182>being such a newfag you dont instantly recognize mestre de pizza
>>16935392let me know which kitchen you work at so I can avoid food cooked in a garbage fire
>>16935266I looked it up and I still have no clue, anon.
EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD, IT'S BEST IF YOU LEAVE.+++THIS IS NOW A CURSED PIZZA THREAD++++++THIS IS NOW A CURSED PIZZA THREAD++++++THIS IS NOW A CURSED PIZZA THREAD+++
>>16937479I don't understand
>>16936937Well yeah, you're fat. You'd eat anything.
>>16937430Looks like it might just be a brand of Tupperware.
>>16937466>>16937463what's with this weird segmented pizza thing?
What's with the olives?
>>16934133hit it with the canned corn
>>16937492The fuck are you supposed to do with that?
It's the supreme confidence that makes it.
>>16935392I have a kitchen in my house :)
>>16938632At least cook the chicken first
>>16938637don't think so chief
>>16938651this is getting a little silly now.
>>16935095Whenever I see this, it makes me a little queasy desu senpai
>>16938651Cheese is a little rubbery
For me it's the paint scraper.
>>16934133Does anyone have the video of the dude in new york cooking up absolutely rancid food for staged customers for tiktok? He was posted here a few times, one was a breakfast sandwich thing with apple poptarts/streudel
>>16939721Yep, I have it. Paypal me 5 bucks and I'll post it
>>16939734I'll post it for $3.75
>>169397343 buck best can do? Good deal take it
>>16939734Haha no. I've got to pay for the bandwidth to download it and pay for the space to save it. $0.01 is the best i can do.
>>16939776Yeah you're not getting it for any less than 6 now
>>16939788Well, thanks for stopping by
>>16940313At a certain point you're just serving an unrelated meal with some dough nearby.
>>16936666impressive digits you got there
>>16935392fuck off fabiano
anyone have the vid of the pizza in the shower?
>>16934133What the fuck is Brazil's problem?
>>16935477>braised beef in tomato and wine sauce tastes like candyWhat, do yanks add a cup of sugar to it or something? I can't imagine how ragu would taste sweet
>>16943039The jarred shit has added sugar like most trash from the supermarket here. It doesn't have a ton or anything. Anon might just be really sensitive to sweet tastes.
>>16936937it's one of the top pizzas, with calabresa and 4 chesses.
>>16934133fucking hellwtf was it?also, burning trash wont produce heat.
>>16934133I think I finally understand how Italians must feel
>>16934133It puts a pound of mayo on the pizza, then it puts a dirty log on the cooking surface of the oven. Then it puts a cardboard box in the oven to burn. Shitskin monkeys like this should be killed. I wish someone would shove this monkey in their own oven.
>>16935103>O_OI’d love to crack your skull with a really Heavy hammer
>>16934133I don't know, leave the guy alone. So someone ordered a carrot-sauce, rice, mayonnaise pizza cooked in trash. What was he supposed to do? Tell a paying customer he won't serve them?
>>16945479The customer is always right
>>16945489Interestingly, "the customer is always right" wouldn't have to be a policy if the customer was always white.
>>16935630FUCKING EGGS ON IT FUCKING PASTA ON IT FUCKING RICE ON A PIZZA this is 1000 times worse than pineapple on a pizza. This shit pizza actually makes me sympathize with the wops.
>>16937463>>16937466>>16937472>>16937479>>16937482>>16937492>>16937498>>16937510Who the fuck made these and who let them out of the zoo? >>16938632Pizza with big black cock?
>>16943207What was he trying to do here?
>>16945749Fried eggs on pizza seems based
I'm weirdly interested in Brazil. It seems comfy
>>16946456I would keep it at a distant interest.
>>16934133I could forgive it all, but the fact that he wildly undersauces the base and doesn't even cover 50% of it with sauce. Mama fucking mia.
>>16936844Now that I know it's cheese rather than mayo, I don't think this would be too bad. Except for the cooking it in a trash fired oven that is.
>>16939734>>16939744nft nigga pls go
What's with that pathetic dash of (potentially tomato) sauce following by absolutely drenching it in that cream cheese looking stuff?
>oven is literally just a hole in the wall fed by a garbage fire
>>16946456I hear the favelas are lovely
The absolute madman
>>16937472looks good to me
>>16947269>the fire burns eternally fuelled by the anguish of Brazilian souls
>>16950658Also some cardboard
>>16935392Cry about it. If you suck at making food you should be washing dishes, like I did.
>>16947274I could probably live like a king in Brazil. Get all those sexy brown girls. Oh yeah
>>16934133it's the 3 olives at the end for me
Who would win in a fight, the egg fort king or mestre da pizza?
Love how a lot of people wants to shit on Brazil because of this meme but our pizzas are one of the best mostly because of our Italian heritage, just go to a proper pizzaria and it will be better than whatever US has
>>16951369>>16934133The ultimate clash
>>16951424i'll have a premium pizza with corn and chicken hearts with a car tire on top of it. Yes, cooked with burning trash please.
>>16951424You don't have any Italian heritage
>>16951459This. They only have Hitler heritage down there.
>>16938651the skittles are a nice finishing touch
>>16951904ACH! Das wagenfone ist eine NUISANCEFONE!
>>16937472I'd eat this one
BR here.That is a low quality pizza place, not somewhere a person with a decent job would eat or order.Having said that, the topping "shredded chicken with catupiry (national cream cheese)" is very popular all around the country. Not my favourite, but it's not bad.The pics posted in the thread with ludicrous toppings are all from the same meme pizza place.
>>16934133I only see a hard working guy trying to make a livingStop being so harsh
>>16952664Based sympathetic anon
>>16951424american hands typed this post
>>16952664He doesn't seem that hard working.
that guy is a weird priest nowadays, a bit confusing
>>16952664Hes trying to show off for the camera and delivering a shitty product at the same time. fuck this guy
the eurocuck FEARS the brasilian bvll pizza
>>16952615>That is a low quality pizza place, not somewhere a person with a decent job would eat or order.i love how brazilians come out even on the internet to defend this like this unironically. like it's just a hilarious webm. if your country was actually good at making pizza and not just crime and corruption, you wouldn't feel the need to post this on 4chan.brazil is a shit hole and sucks at food. a primitive shithole.
>>16953727porra huehehuahuehuahuehue brbrbr
>>16935630At one point many, many moons ago, Dominos here used to have a potato wedge pizza. It was hands down the best item they ever created. Then it just dissapeared. Sadbear.jpg
>>16937463Actually that's amazing. The savory parts are all kino and dessert pizza is actually really fucking good. Better than anything I've ever seen called "pizza" in the US and that's a fact.
>>16937865Think of it as a multi-course meal with desert in the center.
>>16951031> "girls"Yeah about that..
The irony here is that majority of shitposters here are American who eat complete and utter shit.
>>16934133this mutha fucka really put 3 olives on that
>>16940317https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g303610-d8164322that's a lot of pictures of 'pizza'
>>16953883it's a brazil thing..why? who f**king knows!
>>16953818Latin American trannies are better than stupid ones here im the states
>>16954024Yeah. That's actually true. But they're still trannies.
>>16946047crushing this plane
>>16938651>How's the taste?>Flat
>>16935392I'm piling on him with nearly a decade of shitbird culinary experience and I assure you not in the most cursed shitholes have I seen pizza so abused.>the toss and tearHappens, but a tear that size is never repairable. He should have scrapped that dough and started fresh. Also, he's a "mestre" but he can't into soft hands? Shit takes 6 months tops to get the hang of.>the sauceHoly shit I would strangle someone if they splashed sauce on in such a manner. I don't care what variety of slop it is, SPREAD TO THE EDGE or you're serving a swamp-crusted flavor bomb in the midst of a dough desert.>toppingsWhat is portioning?>ovenThis is where he seems semi-competent. Although I can't see the integrity of the crust I'm fairly sure nothing that thick is gonna cook through in less than 7-10 minutes. But I don't know what his temp is.>servingJesu Christ if I needed any further proof of the war crimes that have been committed it's this.A FUCKING PAN A pizza served iN a pan because it's more akin to nachos at this point than a pie. It's too sloppy to lift and cut too large to scoop; the least this guy could have done was stuck a fork or two in there for the customer's convenience. I won't fault him for burning what looks like scrap cardboard or using a paint scraper to chop, or even serving his goods in tinfoil, as it's all a question of funds there. But the overall lack of technique or care leads me to believe this man has either never eaten his own goods or is making some 2 am trash food for the drunks.
>>16935630pizza de arroz com feijão
>>16937472I'd never trust a hispanic to prepare raw meats/fish without giving me food poisoning
>>16946456Brazil is unironically idiocracy in real life
>>16934133what's with south america and putting tiles on fucking everything?
>>16934133I only see a hardworking guy taking pride on what he does working with the tools and circumstances he has available.
>>16936844So Brazilian Cheese Whiz?
>>16934852really makes you think...
at least it's not deep dish
>>16956736Looks more like a twit with a spade to me
>>16935630i wish that i had never seen this.i want to go back to ignorance.
>>16935109it's a legitimate technique. it's called stitching the dough
>>16935392I've made more pizza than you've eaten in your life
>>16958787Doesn't seem like it worked
>>16953902lmao who the fuck would order this xboxhueg abomination?
>>16935266>Some kind of Mexican food supplier?wrong, it's mexican foot cream
>>16958789it goes "i've made more pizza than you've had hot meals"
>>16958807To protect the middle they put a literal table on it before sliding it in the box.
>>16951424lol Brazil is tied with Japan for having the worst pizza
how does he get out?
>>16960360We have to eat a path of safety for him.
>>16960360I'll have to eat my way out! *chomp chomp*ACH it's terrible!
>>16960360>how does he get out
Best pizza chef coming through, make way peasants.
>>16934133To feed the poor, may god bless his soul
>>16934731>>16935077>>16935179>>16935559>See all the trash comments>have seen this video several times>never notice he actually does use random trash to heat the ovenOh dear. It looks like it was random dried wild grasses, used pizza boxes and fuck knows fence wood.
>>16943207Hickster trash annoying pizzamaker aka pizzaiolo, close to closing time decides to give them a show they'll never forget
>>16960661I can't stop laughing at this.
>>16960661>i am a master of culinary arts and this is flambe
>>16940316This one reminds me of italy
>>16960661how I could just kill a man
>>16951445what gets me is the guy just drinking raw eggs in the foreground
>>16952615where can I get pizza de macaco
>>16956834Better than cheese whiz. More like the inside of a crust on a stuffed crust pizza but creamier and less rubbery
>>16961957so cream cheese
LOOK WHAT YOU DID, YOU LITTLE JERK
Brazilian here.This guy's just doing his best in whatever crappy situation he was in.That being said, our pizza in general is pretty awful. Brazilians think that the more you pile on a pizza, the better, so it often ends up looking like you threw everything but the kitchen sink on it.
>>16963015I feel like he is distinctly not doing his best
>>16956551>what's with south america and putting tiles on fucking everything?Tiles are more hygienic than just plaster, specially for bathrooms and kitchens, and it's also easier to clean.
>>16963015He could use only HALF of the toppings and it would probably improve this pizza.The dough looks decent, he was doing a fine job until the threw it up in the air. >>16964454Yep, we do it here in SE Asia too. Most places don't have easy access to hygienic finishing material like epoxy and stainless steel kitchen is too expensive, so most places just tile up everything.
>>16960360Why would we want the blood sacrifice to the pizza god get out?
>>16960360Become one with the pizza
>>16961977I know it's hard for Americans to understand things that don't come from America because your frame of reference is so limited. But no, not like cream cheese at all. Catupiry is unique in its taste and texture. Try ordering some from an online brazilian store if you're curious.
>>16960360A giant circular saw to cut the pizza
>>16966274And a plate?
This thread is still here??
>>16967574The 'za cannot be halted
Congratulations. Pizza that is worse even than Chicago non-pizza.
>>16956551Same reason almost all the houses are brick and concrete. Wood is comparatively expensive. Bricks, tile and concrete are (relatively) cheap continent-wide. It's not just materials either; literally every hot-chocolate-brown retard laborer knows how to mix concrete, stack bricks, and lay tile properly, but almost none have ever framed a house out of wood. At best they know how to make a roof structure out of 2x4s and then fix an impermeable membrane and then corrugated metal to it, which is the common roofing method for homes here.
>>16937510>>16937498>>16937492What's up with this weird segmented pizza thing?
>>16971229It's a meme shop
What about that giant pizza Gordon hated?
>>16965056So exactly like cream cheese, got it
>>16972648>>16965056I've had catupiry on multiple occasions and yeah, it's just liquidy cream cheese
>>16960360that is not one giant pizza if you look closely
>>16946047Body slam the table to serve the pizza. He didn't expect the table would break.
>>16972636What about it? It was a little greasy, but it's fucking pizza, you're melting a pile of fucking cheese and cured pork on top of it, of course it's going to be greasy. Dry it off with a paper towel if it bothers you.It had a thick crust, but fuck thin crust pizzas. I want my pizza to come with free breadsticks.
>>16973584Pizza should be seen, not heard. Pizza too big is not appropriate for sale in USA. Other countries may also benefit from banning the sale of pizza that is banned for sale in USA.
>>16963015I tried a shredded chicken / catipury cheese / corn pizza at a local Brazilian joint and I thought it was pretty damn good to be honest.
>>16938651this is getting tiring
>>16972648>>16973397>American taste buds are so underdeveloped due to being raised on nothing but HFC and hydrogenated vegetable oil that they are incapable of detecting important differences in flavours and textures. Yes its just like cream cheese.
>>16974469I would tread carefully as a south american talking about processed food, lol.
>>16935559>You and I would still eat it on a cold winters nightOh hell no.
>>16974469Uh huh, those erudite palettes of Brazil huh?
>>16974804>>16976773>>16975012Not South American I just happen to know that catupiry is noticeably different to what Americans think of as cream cheese (i.e. Philadelphia).
>>16946743That there, deserves. >> crucifixins
>>16958807>>Normal size pizza, extremely small man
>>16977380he's actually the pizza saver
>>16977678Looks like the pizza killer to me
>>16965056America invented everything
>>16935766It's what third-worlders consider garnish.
>>16979947Brazilians aren't human
>>16934852so they've never had cotton candy?
>>16981607Yes, we have. We call it sweet cotton.
>>16981618I was making a joke about how raccoons wash their food, so if you set out cotton candy or sugar cubes for them them will wash it and it dissolves.
>>16960700based and Christian pilled
Reminds me of this
>>16981656The absolute mad man
>>16983751i got zika when i was in costa rica i had runny poops in the night not fun but it only lasted a day and a half
>>16981656How do you like your garbage 'za?
>>16936666Quads speak to the truth of 90% of /ck/. This is exactly what we are.
>>16936666>>16988427>NEETs that know how to cook because everyone and everything, including themselves, abandoned them to their introversion.
>>16944050dis guy hereGENIUS
>>16940330Large pizza: 20 dollarsLarge pizza with 4 whole crabs in the middle: 200 dollars plus mandatory tip
>>16939798>when you hit randomize with the face tool in gmod
>>16960360The real question is how did he get in that situation?
>>16960360It's like that Hatsune Miku app, but much cheaper.
Don't worry, Brazilians find that wild and disgusting too, which is how these photos of the same place managed to reach you, a foreigner.They also blew up in Brazil for how absurd they are and became a huge meme. That is just a guy trying to make a living and catch the attention of new costumers by making crazy recipes. Everybody knows it looks disgusting.
>>16990076So like WebM related here in Mexico?
>>16990076How's the monkey problem there? Is it improving?
>>16990097>>16934133Why do i find these videos of people doing culinary abominations endearing? I think it has to do with the attitude, they seem happy and proud.
The Mestre that could not be stopped
>>16990076This video in OP isn't from that place that does the stupid pizzas with skittles and fries and shit on them, it's just some random cheap pizza shop
>>16951445how does he get out
>>16976963>Not South AmericanThen shut the fuck up kid
>>16991606He lives there
Please, let this thread die!
>>16996274Ok, I'll do that
>>16996274I'm cooking it to death in my trash oven now.
>>16935392Italian giving his blessing to this man.
>>16981642i got it anon.
is this the new surly king of the egg fort?
>>16998133This is the smug master of pizza and olives
Come to Brazil
>>16999948I don't think so
>>16934133oh fuck you for making me watch that.
>>16998133He is his ultimate rival