/ck/ - Food & Cooking

he's the master of pizza, he already achieved the endgame

I love trash pizza

Brazilians eat like Raccoons

>>16934133
>pours bagged cum all over the pizza
So that's where it went

>>16934133
It's the pity olives tossed on with a flourish that make it.

For me? It's the taste of painted cardboard. Delicious.

>>16934133
Does anyone know what's on the pizza? Is it cheese and mayo?

>>16934133
>tosses dough
>tears it
errytime

>>16934133
someone more knowledgeable than me explain what the fuck he is putting on it

>>16935030
>>16934876

>>16934133
>carrot sauce
>rice
>mayonnaise
mmm delicious

A fucking paint scraper.

how do you want your pizza senpai?

>>16935068
Made like shit and cooked in trash

I love this video so much.

>>16934133
how does he get out without knocking over the pizzas?

>>16934133
isnt the fire supposed to be where he is storing the wood O_O

>>16935095
he flips the pizza up, breaks it and then tries to fasen it together KEK

THEN ALL THAT SLOPPA added in

>>16935095
Got cocky, paid for it.

>>16935095
need pt 2

>>16935095
what a dumbass

>>16935103
no but the fact he is fueling the oven with trash is concerning

>>16934133
>watch this video haha just click the link
Fuck off zoomer

>rips dough with attempted flourish
>dips sad splash of uncertain orange liquid
>smothers in random ingredients
>cooks in a sooty hole in the wall that's never been cleaned
>fuels fire with literal garbage scraps
>power tools in the distance
>floppy cardboard boxes
>mangles with paint scraper
>dumps a couple of token olives
>all conducted in unearned confidence
Truly a cursed video.

>>16935182
>he clicks links
You don't have embed, old man?

>>16934133
for me? it's the bucket of Ting. What is Ting? Some kind of Mexican food supplier? An industrial cleaning powder? Drugs? God knows, but it sure does make the pizza taste good.

>>16935030
brazilian version of nacho cheese

Garbage cooking

I love how all you fags piled on the guy for making shit pizza, when 4/5 of you have never been near a kitchen.

>>16935392
>DO NOT CRITICISM MEEE!!! NO NO NO!!!!!
why how? every time I make the look, yet I have all the rights they do. your the logical does not make sense.

>>16935407
Try again, Rahjnaldo.

>>16935392
I have baked bread and pizza before.
I made a ragu pizza the other day because I was out of tomatoes and it was pretty good.

>>16935444
>ragu pizza
the fuck is wrong with you people?

The pathetic smattering of carrot juice. The insane amount of mayo. The fucking canned corn on top. It doesn't get any better than brazil pizza, does it?

>>16935444
Ragu tastes like liquid candy. How could anyone like it?

I do not believe this is Brazil. This is slander, conspiracy. This is bull. This is Mars pizza. Cockamamie.

Yes it was cooked with trash. You and I would still eat it on a cold winters night

>>16935559
100% Brazil, read his fucking shirt. Also,
>You'd eat it if you were freezing and hungry and had nothing else to eat
Truly wonderful review for the eatery right there, I'd definitely pay the establishment's mark-up to be able to done on that heap of shit instead of going somewhere else or making my own. Not to mention that googling "Brazilian pizza" gets you insane shit on this level or worse.

The two decent things to ever have come out of Brazil is the grillhouses and your cheese bread; the gay Argies and retarded Paraguayans do both better, respectively. Everything else is pure jungle sloppa. Stop with the damage control, Joao, you're only making yourself look desperate.

>>16934133
Amazon spear-chuckers are fucking insane when it comes to pizza.

>the pizza box into the fire

>>16935472
>Mayo
That's a type of creamy cheese called Requeijão. Imagine cream cheese, but fattier and creamier. The taste is very dairy and not tangy like the cream cheese. It's made combining fresh cheese and cream. If you get a good brand, like Catupiry, the inventor of Requeijão, it's heavenly. Low quality ones, like the one in the video, are half hydrogenated fats.

>>16935095
I want to know what the first handful of toppings is after he puts on the sauce. It looks like shredded cheese mixed with something else.

Brazilians are the Brazilians of earth

Brazilians rule. There's some guy in the area that's been riding around in a shitty "The Mask" costume on a bike. Like a full terrible zoot suit and mask.
>But it was for Halloween
you say. Except he's been doing this a full month before Halloween and I saw him yesterday lol.
At least the young bitches have fat butts and most of the one's I've hung out with have been friendly as fuck lol.

>>16935630
I would unironically eat pasta and rice and fries pozza.

>>16935630
I don’t get the single olive thing. Like why.

>>16935631
Mystery vines!

>>16935633
>Imagine cream cheese, but fattier and creamier. The taste is very dairy and not tangy like the cream cheese
Idk if this was your intent, but I'll look for some next time I go shopping. That shit sounds genuinely delicious. It's still not something I can imagine as a pizza topping, though.

>>16935699
Looks like shredded chicken lol.

>>16935392
I don't work as a pizza maker, anon. He does.

>>16935699
>Tomato sauce
>Shredded chicken (probably breast)
>Catupiry cheese (a kind of Brazilian cream cheese)
>Canned corn

That's actually a pretty popular "pizza" people enjoy over here, but our native pizza culture is pretty wild.

>>16935633
A marca que inventou o requeijão é Poços de Caldas, anão.

https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Requeij%C3%A3o

>>16935392
Are you that cute anon that I flirted with a while ago? I recognize that red hair anywhere.

Can i kiss you? Also yes I cook on a daily basis.

>>16934133
I rarely ever come to this board, I knew I'd seen this video maybe 5+ years ago, I click the link and I've already disliked the video in the past. Funny the old ones are still getting people. Classic BR shitpost.

everything in the video is an utter mess, except the dough looked pretty good, better than 9/10 american places with shitty undercooked dough that has no tiger spotting and looks bready as fuck.

>>16934993
Catupiry

>>16936300
I'd eat it. It sounds good.

>>16935182
>being such a newfag you dont instantly recognize mestre de pizza

>>16935392
let me know which kitchen you work at so I can avoid food cooked in a garbage fire

>>16935266
I looked it up and I still have no clue, anon.

>>16937430

EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD, IT'S BEST IF YOU LEAVE.

+++THIS IS NOW A CURSED PIZZA THREAD+++

+++THIS IS NOW A CURSED PIZZA THREAD+++

+++THIS IS NOW A CURSED PIZZA THREAD+++

>>16937463

>>16937466

>>16937472

>>16937479

>>16937482

>>16937492

>>16937479
I don't understand

>>16937508

>>16936937
Well yeah, you're fat. You'd eat anything.

>>16937430
Looks like it might just be a brand of Tupperware.

>>16937466
>>16937463
what's with this weird segmented pizza thing?

What's with the olives?

>>16937911
uma delícia

>>16934133
hit it with the canned corn

>>16937492
The fuck are you supposed to do with that?

It's the supreme confidence that makes it.

>>16935392
I have a kitchen in my house :)

>>16938632
At least cook the chicken first

>>16938637
don't think so chief

>>16938651
this is getting a little silly now.

>>16935095
Whenever I see this, it makes me a little queasy desu senpai

>>16938651
Cheese is a little rubbery

>>16937430
It's olives.

For me it's the paint scraper.

>>16934133
Does anyone have the video of the dude in new york cooking up absolutely rancid food for staged customers for tiktok? He was posted here a few times, one was a breakfast sandwich thing with apple poptarts/streudel

>>16939721
Yep, I have it. Paypal me 5 bucks and I'll post it

>>16939734
I'll post it for $3.75

>>16939734
3 buck best can do? Good deal take it

>>16939760
>>16939744
5 firm

>>16939734
Haha no. I've got to pay for the bandwidth to download it and pay for the space to save it. $0.01 is the best i can do.

>>16939776
Yeah you're not getting it for any less than 6 now

>>16939788
Well, thanks for stopping by

>>16939792

>>16940313
At a certain point you're just serving an unrelated meal with some dough nearby.

>>16936666
impressive digits you got there

>>16935392
fuck off fabiano

But why?

anyone have the vid of the pizza in the shower?

>>16934133
What the fuck is Brazil's problem?

>>16935477
>braised beef in tomato and wine sauce tastes like candy
What, do yanks add a cup of sugar to it or something? I can't imagine how ragu would taste sweet

>>16934133

>>16937492
kek

>>16943039
The jarred shit has added sugar like most trash from the supermarket here. It doesn't have a ton or anything. Anon might just be really sensitive to sweet tastes.

>>16936937
it's one of the top pizzas, with calabresa and 4 chesses.

>>16943207
context?

>>16944011
pizza!

>>16938739

>>16934133
fucking hell
wtf was it?
also, burning trash wont produce heat.

>>16934133
I think I finally understand how Italians must feel

>>16934133
It puts a pound of mayo on the pizza, then it puts a dirty log on the cooking surface of the oven. Then it puts a cardboard box in the oven to burn.

Shitskin monkeys like this should be killed.
I wish someone would shove this monkey in their own oven.

>>16935103
>O_O
I’d love to crack your skull with a really Heavy hammer

>>16934133
I don't know, leave the guy alone. So someone ordered a carrot-sauce, rice, mayonnaise pizza cooked in trash. What was he supposed to do? Tell a paying customer he won't serve them?

>>16945479
The customer is always right

>>16945489
Interestingly, "the customer is always right" wouldn't have to be a policy if the customer was always white.

>>16943207
SCORCHER

>>16935630
FUCKING EGGS ON IT
FUCKING PASTA ON IT
FUCKING RICE ON A PIZZA
this is 1000 times worse than pineapple on a pizza. This shit pizza actually makes me sympathize with the wops.

>>16937463
>>16937466
>>16937472
>>16937479
>>16937482
>>16937492
>>16937498
>>16937510
Who the fuck made these and who let them out of the zoo?

>>16938632
Pizza with big black cock?

>>16943207
But why?

>>16943207
What was he trying to do here?

>>16945749
Fried eggs on pizza seems based

I'm weirdly interested in Brazil. It seems comfy

>>16946456
I would keep it at a distant interest.

>>16934133
I could forgive it all, but the fact that he wildly undersauces the base and doesn't even cover 50% of it with sauce. Mama fucking mia.

>>16936844
Now that I know it's cheese rather than mayo, I don't think this would be too bad. Except for the cooking it in a trash fired oven that is.

>>16939734
>>16939744
nft nigga pls go

What's with that pathetic dash of (potentially tomato) sauce following by absolutely drenching it in that cream cheese looking stuff?

>oven is literally just a hole in the wall fed by a garbage fire

>>16946456
I hear the favelas are lovely

The absolute madman

>>16937472
looks good to me

>>16947269
>the fire burns eternally fuelled by the anguish of Brazilian souls

>>16950658
Also some cardboard

>>16935392
Cry about it. If you suck at making food you should be washing dishes, like I did.

>>16947274
I could probably live like a king in Brazil. Get all those sexy brown girls. Oh yeah

>>16934133
it's the 3 olives at the end for me

Who would win in a fight, the egg fort king or mestre da pizza?

Love how a lot of people wants to shit on Brazil because of this meme but our pizzas are one of the best mostly because of our Italian heritage, just go to a proper pizzaria and it will be better than whatever US has

>>16951369
>>16934133
The ultimate clash

>>16951424
i'll have a premium pizza with corn and chicken hearts with a car tire on top of it. Yes, cooked with burning trash please.

>>16951424
You don't have any Italian heritage

>>16951459
This. They only have Hitler heritage down there.

>>16938651
the skittles are a nice finishing touch

>>16951904
ACH! Das wagenfone ist eine NUISANCEFONE!

>>16937472
I'd eat this one

>>16935030
Catupiry cheese

BR here.

That is a low quality pizza place, not somewhere a person with a decent job would eat or order.

Having said that, the topping "shredded chicken with catupiry (national cream cheese)" is very popular all around the country. Not my favourite, but it's not bad.

The pics posted in the thread with ludicrous toppings are all from the same meme pizza place.

>>16934133
I only see a hard working guy trying to make a living

Stop being so harsh

>>16952664
Based sympathetic anon

>>16951424
american hands typed this post

>>16952664
He doesn't seem that hard working.

that guy is a weird priest nowadays, a bit confusing

>>16952664
Hes trying to show off for the camera and delivering a shitty product at the same time. fuck this guy

the eurocuck FEARS the brasilian bvll pizza

>>16952615
>That is a low quality pizza place, not somewhere a person with a decent job would eat or order.

i love how brazilians come out even on the internet to defend this like this unironically.

like it's just a hilarious webm.

if your country was actually good at making pizza and not just crime and corruption, you wouldn't feel the need to post this on 4chan.

brazil is a shit hole and sucks at food. a primitive shithole.

>>16953724
kys

>>16953727
porra huehehuahuehuahuehue brbrbr

>>16935630
At one point many, many moons ago, Dominos here used to have a potato wedge pizza. It was hands down the best item they ever created. Then it just dissapeared. Sadbear.jpg

>>16937463
Actually that's amazing. The savory parts are all kino and dessert pizza is actually really fucking good. Better than anything I've ever seen called "pizza" in the US and that's a fact.

>>16937865
Think of it as a multi-course meal with desert in the center.

>>16951031
> "girls"
Yeah about that..

The irony here is that majority of shitposters here are American who eat complete and utter shit.

>>16934133
this mutha fucka really put 3 olives on that

>>16940317
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g303610-d8164322
that's a lot of pictures of 'pizza'

>>16953883
it's a brazil thing..why? who f**king knows!

>>16953818
Latin American trannies are better than stupid ones here im the states

>>16954024
Yeah. That's actually true. But they're still trannies.

>>16946047
crushing this plane

>>16938651
>How's the taste?
>Flat

>>16935392
I'm piling on him with nearly a decade of shitbird culinary experience and I assure you not in the most cursed shitholes have I seen pizza so abused.
>the toss and tear
Happens, but a tear that size is never repairable. He should have scrapped that dough and started fresh. Also, he's a "mestre" but he can't into soft hands? Shit takes 6 months tops to get the hang of.
>the sauce
Holy shit I would strangle someone if they splashed sauce on in such a manner. I don't care what variety of slop it is, SPREAD TO THE EDGE or you're serving a swamp-crusted flavor bomb in the midst of a dough desert.
>toppings
What is portioning?
>oven
This is where he seems semi-competent. Although I can't see the integrity of the crust I'm fairly sure nothing that thick is gonna cook through in less than 7-10 minutes. But I don't know what his temp is.
>serving
Jesu Christ if I needed any further proof of the war crimes that have been committed it's this.
A FUCKING PAN
A pizza served iN a pan because it's more akin to nachos at this point than a pie. It's too sloppy to lift and cut too large to scoop; the least this guy could have done was stuck a fork or two in there for the customer's convenience. I won't fault him for burning what looks like scrap cardboard or using a paint scraper to chop, or even serving his goods in tinfoil, as it's all a question of funds there. But the overall lack of technique or care leads me to believe this man has either never eaten his own goods or is making some 2 am trash food for the drunks.

>>16935630
pizza de arroz com feijão

>>16937472
I'd never trust a hispanic to prepare raw meats/fish without giving me food poisoning

>>16946456
Brazil is unironically idiocracy in real life

>>16934133
what's with south america and putting tiles on fucking everything?

>>16934133
I only see a hardworking guy taking pride on what he does working with the tools and circumstances he has available.

>>16956736
t.mike rowe

>>16936844
So Brazilian Cheese Whiz?

>>16934852
really makes you think...

at least it's not deep dish

>>16956736
Looks more like a twit with a spade to me

>>16935630
i wish that i had never seen this.
i want to go back to ignorance.

>>16935109
it's a legitimate technique. it's called stitching the dough

>>16935392
I've made more pizza than you've eaten in your life

>>16958787
Doesn't seem like it worked

>>16953902
lmao who the fuck would order this xboxhueg abomination?

>>16935266
>Some kind of Mexican food supplier?
wrong, it's mexican foot cream

>>16958789
it goes "i've made more pizza than you've had hot meals"

>>16958807
To protect the middle they put a literal table on it before sliding it in the box.

>>16939721
Seconding this

>>16951424
lol Brazil is tied with Japan for having the worst pizza

how does he get out?

>>16960360
We have to eat a path of safety for him.

>>16960360
I'll have to eat my way out! *chomp chomp*
ACH it's terrible!

>>16960360
>how does he get out

Best pizza chef coming through, make way peasants.

>>16934133
To feed the poor, may god bless his soul

>>16934731
>>16935077
>>16935179
>>16935559
>See all the trash comments
>have seen this video several times
>never notice he actually does use random trash to heat the oven
Oh dear. It looks like it was random dried wild grasses, used pizza boxes and fuck knows fence wood.

>>16943207
Hickster trash annoying pizzamaker aka pizzaiolo, close to closing time decides to give them a show they'll never forget

>>16960661
I can't stop laughing at this.

>>16960661
>i am a master of culinary arts and this is flambe

>>16940316
This one reminds me of italy

>>16960661
how I could just kill a man

>>16951445
what gets me is the guy just drinking raw eggs in the foreground

>>16952615
where can I get pizza de macaco

>>16956834
Better than cheese whiz. More like the inside of a crust on a stuffed crust pizza but creamier and less rubbery

>>16960360
he doesn't

>>16961957
so cream cheese

>>16934133
Food poisoning

Mmmm, trash-smoked.

LOOK WHAT YOU DID, YOU LITTLE JERK

Brazilian here.

This guy's just doing his best in whatever crappy situation he was in.

That being said, our pizza in general is pretty awful. Brazilians think that the more you pile on a pizza, the better, so it often ends up looking like you threw everything but the kitchen sink on it.

>>16963015
I feel like he is distinctly not doing his best

>>16956551
>what's with south america and putting tiles on fucking everything?
Tiles are more hygienic than just plaster, specially for bathrooms and kitchens, and it's also easier to clean.

>>16963015
He could use only HALF of the toppings and it would probably improve this pizza.
The dough looks decent, he was doing a fine job until the threw it up in the air.

>>16964454
Yep, we do it here in SE Asia too. Most places don't have easy access to hygienic finishing material like epoxy and stainless steel kitchen is too expensive, so most places just tile up everything.

>>16960360
Why would we want the blood sacrifice to the pizza god get out?

>>16960360
Become one with the pizza

>>16961977
I know it's hard for Americans to understand things that don't come from America because your frame of reference is so limited. But no, not like cream cheese at all. Catupiry is unique in its taste and texture. Try ordering some from an online brazilian store if you're curious.

>>16960360
easy >>16943207

>>16960360
A giant circular saw to cut the pizza

>>16966274
And a plate?

This thread is still here??

>>16967574
Apparently

>>16967574
The 'za cannot be halted

Congratulations. Pizza that is worse even than Chicago non-pizza.

>>16967574
hueHUEhueHUEhueHUEhueHUE

>>16956551
Same reason almost all the houses are brick and concrete. Wood is comparatively expensive. Bricks, tile and concrete are (relatively) cheap continent-wide. It's not just materials either; literally every hot-chocolate-brown retard laborer knows how to mix concrete, stack bricks, and lay tile properly, but almost none have ever framed a house out of wood. At best they know how to make a roof structure out of 2x4s and then fix an impermeable membrane and then corrugated metal to it, which is the common roofing method for homes here.

>>16968342
die

>>16937510
>>16937498
>>16937492
What's up with this weird segmented pizza thing?

>>16971229
It's a meme shop

What about that giant pizza Gordon hated?

>>16965056
So exactly like cream cheese, got it

>>16972648
>>16965056
I've had catupiry on multiple occasions and yeah, it's just liquidy cream cheese

>>16960360
that is not one giant pizza if you look closely

>>16946047
Body slam the table to serve the pizza. He didn't expect the table would break.

>>16972636
What about it?
It was a little greasy, but it's fucking pizza, you're melting a pile of fucking cheese and cured pork on top of it, of course it's going to be greasy. Dry it off with a paper towel if it bothers you.
It had a thick crust, but fuck thin crust pizzas. I want my pizza to come with free breadsticks.

>>16973584
Pizza should be seen, not heard. Pizza too big is not appropriate for sale in USA. Other countries may also benefit from banning the sale of pizza that is banned for sale in USA.

>>16963015
I tried a shredded chicken / catipury cheese / corn pizza at a local Brazilian joint and I thought it was pretty damn good to be honest.

>>16938651
this is getting tiring

>>16972648
>>16973397
>American taste buds are so underdeveloped due to being raised on nothing but HFC and hydrogenated vegetable oil that they are incapable of detecting important differences in flavours and textures.

Yes its just like cream cheese.

>>16974469
I would tread carefully as a south american talking about processed food, lol.

>>16974804
This

>>16935559
>You and I would still eat it on a cold winters night
Oh hell no.

>>16960360
Bane?

>>16974469
Uh huh, those erudite palettes of Brazil huh?

>>16974804
>>16976773
>>16975012
Not South American I just happen to know that catupiry is noticeably different to what Americans think of as cream cheese (i.e. Philadelphia).

>>16946743
That there, deserves. >> crucifixins

>>16958807
>>Normal size pizza, extremely small man

>>16977380
he's actually the pizza saver

>>16977678
Looks like the pizza killer to me

>>16965056
America invented everything

>>16935766
It's what third-worlders consider garnish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fObrcY2oNt8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFXdMLtp2kM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riktceiIwtA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRGpAnfBcrU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-fAtD5Unk4

>>16979947
Oh no

>>16979947
Brazilians aren't human

>>16934852
so they've never had cotton candy?

>>16981607
Yes, we have. We call it sweet cotton.

>>16981618
I was making a joke about how raccoons wash their food, so if you set out cotton candy or sugar cubes for them them will wash it and it dissolves.

>>16967574

>>16960700
based and Christian pilled

Reminds me of this

>>16981656
The absolute mad man

>>16983751
i got zika when i was in costa rica i had runny poops in the night not fun but it only lasted a day and a half

>>16983751
kek

>>16981656
How do you like your garbage 'za?

Transcendence

>>16936666
Quads speak to the truth of 90% of /ck/. This is exactly what we are.

>>16936666
>>16988427
>NEETs that know how to cook because everyone and everything, including themselves, abandoned them to their introversion.

>>16944050
dis guy here
GENIUS

>>16940330
Large pizza: 20 dollars
Large pizza with 4 whole crabs in the middle: 200 dollars plus mandatory tip

>>16939798
>when you hit randomize with the face tool in gmod

>>16960360
The real question is how did he get in that situation?

>>16960360
It's like that Hatsune Miku app, but much cheaper.

>>16935631

>>16989394
Ok

Don't worry, Brazilians find that wild and disgusting too, which is how these photos of the same place managed to reach you, a foreigner.

They also blew up in Brazil for how absurd they are and became a huge meme. That is just a guy trying to make a living and catch the attention of new costumers by making crazy recipes. Everybody knows it looks disgusting.

>>16990076
So like WebM related here in Mexico?

>>16990076
How's the monkey problem there? Is it improving?

>>16990097
>>16934133
Why do i find these videos of people doing culinary abominations endearing? I think it has to do with the attitude, they seem happy and proud.

The Mestre that could not be stopped

>>16990076
This video in OP isn't from that place that does the stupid pizzas with skittles and fries and shit on them, it's just some random cheap pizza shop

>>16951445
how does he get out

>>16991606
eat egg

>>16976963
>Not South American
Then shut the fuck up kid

>>16991606
He lives there

>>16938651
2deep5me

Please, let this thread die!

>>16996274
Ok, I'll do that

>>16996274
Neverrrrrrrr!

>>16996274
I'm cooking it to death in my trash oven now.

>>16935392
Hi Mestre!

>>16935392
Italian giving his blessing to this man.

>>16981642
i got it anon.

is this the new surly king of the egg fort?

>>16998133
This is the smug master of pizza and olives

Come to Brazil

>>16999948
I don't think so

>>16934133
oh fuck you for making me watch that.

>>16998133
He is his ultimate rival