/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16769837

>>16769840

>>16769837
been done before

>>16769837

>>16769926

>>16769919
Never thought I'd see Cunningham Muffins referenced in 2021.
Where did the time go?

>>16769953
Why is that meat grey?

>>16770095
its destined to win the church cookout, its freezer aged year old brisket!

>>16769837
What did she cover the hard candy with? Salt?

>>16770591
She pulverized it so that it would melt more evenly

>>16770231
> freezer aged year old brisket!
kek'[email protected]

>>16769837
is this meth?

>>16770791
Did his mother fuck a chimp?

>>16770800

>>16770786
>failed_parenting.webm

>>16770802
A Brazilian

>>16769837

>>16770231
Jack never stood a chance, since he doesn't cheat. All cooking competitions are rigged anyway.

>>16770810
That culinary genius really did just hold up a handful of raw coke and "smell" it.

>>16770762
>Latex infused ice cubes
Yumm!

>>16770982
$2,50 hourly wages, 29 hour shifts will do that to a man. THANKS OBAMA.

>>16770993
so will china white #4, retard

>>16770961
ja/ck/ is so atrocious, mayonnaise seasoning is a thing, but it isn't nearly that thick and is put all around the meat

>>16770786
He might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but at least he is putting in the effort to figure it out, rather than just throwing his hands up saying "I don't understand technology!"

>>16771023
>Be 34 at the time
>Married
>400 km away from parents
>It's 3 fucking AM on a tuesday night
>the call.jpg
>THE COMPUTER ISN'T WORKING I CAN'T GO ON EXTREMETUBE HELP
>Turns out it's just a windows update and he needs to wait for it to finish installing itself
Man I have hundreds of stories like that. Doesn't help that now you have to do almost everything online, including your taxes and shit.

Anybody have that clip of some ice cream dessert made with cup noodles? or the giant dorito dish ?

cant seem to find them anywhere

>>16771049
Not sure which ones you're referring to so here's one with both cup noodles and doritos instead

>>16771048
thats grotesque, fish doesnt even look descaled

>>16771051
Very nice thanks, do you know how i can find more of these?

>>16771056
Here's some more, they're street food called Dorilocos I believe

>>16771370
I've never had pre-eggs but I get the feeling these got ruined with poor cooking.

>>16771394
Japanese autism. They always pick the most inefficient and time consuming way to do shit

>>16770810
This isnt much different than vegtable oil processing.

>>16771404
Pork, folded 1000 times. That's Chinese however.

>>16770993
So will heroin

>>16770940
That's a lot of chimps

>>16770810
What the? How the fuck did people come up with this shit? And don't give me the usual hurr durr series of accidents. Figuring out how to make beer sounds simple compared to this, especially since it has had thousands of years of history behind it.
This motherfucking recipe contains battery acid, how the FUCK did they figure it out?

>>16771620
Chemistry? It's been a thing for some time. There are entire fields dedicated to it.

>>16771642
How would a chemist figure out that if you do this, x, y and z you get a drug named cocaine?

>>16771620
The locals would chew the leaves for energy, I also think they would make tea. From there it's just using chemistry to figure out how to get the good stuff out.

>>16771646
Oh, cocaine? That's fairly simple. You just start at finding out that leaves of this plant give you a certain effect and then you just start simple refining from there, which improves over time. It's fairly straightforward from what I can see. If anything beer sounds way more bizzare.

>>16771654
>If anything beer sounds way more bizzare.
Not really, humans have likely been getting drunk off rotted fruit since we were tree rats.

>>16771620
This isn't how it was always made. They discovered the effects the leaves had and then worked out how to refine it. The question isn't how the fuck did they come up with it, the question is how many peasents exploded until they worked out how to do it right.

>>16770992
Maybe use a gelatin mold instead?

>>16770786
Okay boomer

Sweet Sundae Ramen

>>16773239
https://youtu.be/i3pfsCS7fWI?t=30

>>16770786

Why are the pretty ones always so dumb?

>>16769837
I was hoping they were going to melt down the clear hard candy to make new clear hard candy.

>>16769851
>fondant

>>16771685
how did we figure out what berries are safe, or what mushrooms you can and can't eat?
Truly the nameless chef is the most noble of our heroes.

Terrifying

>>16773336
Simply horrifying

>>16771261
i was okay with it RIGHT up to the end where the stupid spic poured a half liter of V8 on

>>16773335
>>16773354
I am pretty sure that by the time I view these webms she has lost a fingertip.

>>16773342
what the fuck is this shit

>>16773059

>>16773239
That's corn syrup with a whiff of actual maple.
t. leaf

>>16773059
This was the worst /ck/ had to offer at one time, and now it just seems like a meme dessert you'd see at a pop up restaurant. Noodles with a dozen sweets crumbled on top? That'll be $40, photos are extra.

>>16773572
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cendol
southeast asian desert

>>16769919
WHAT DO YOU WANT FO BREAKFAST DONNIE

>>16769919
WE'VE GOT ALL KINDS ON MUFF!NS
>STRAWBERRY!
>RASPBERRY
>APPLE!
>BA-NAAAANA.
>ORANGE.
>FISH.

>>16773336
Nobody taught them? Maybe lack of a family structure..

>>16770752
Don't play with your meat.

>>16770752
Where do you get that high boiling point ketchup?

>>16770791
>One race, the human race

>>16770982
nerve gas?

>>16771261
>>16771056
Dorilocos or Tostilocos gives you results, good luck

Cupcakes are garbage, come at me

>>16770752
oh wow I sure love fungus onions nigger feet!

>>16771394
>all those chinese characters flying on screen
did he use a special finishing move?

>>16770802
missing link

>>16770982
>we want more than $7.50

>>16775387
kek

>>16773336
>>16773354
Most people are deathly afraid of knives and think they'll cut their fingers off. Which ironically leads to retarded knife handling and actually hurting themselves.

>>16773478
This is just depressing

>>16771051
Every time I thought it can't possibly get any worse, it actually did get worse.

>>16775989

>Take a bite
>A gallon of sauce squirts everywhere

T..thanks it's d...d...delicious

>>16770982
damn, s/he must have some good fentanyl

>>16773342
Take it back! If I wanted something your thumb touched I'd lick the inside of your ear!

>>16773572
>>16773897
It's actually quite good, and sort of healthy as far as desserts go.
I really miss cendol, Asians don't seem to sell it much in western countries.

>>16773306
Dump stats.

isn't the jam kind of redundant? There'll be plenty of red stuff gushing from the roof of your mouth when you bite into it

>>16769840
Spooky

>>16770982
that means the vax is working

>>16776087
>see "ground house" on the wrapper
>look it up
>it's a shitty little burger joint out of Irvine, California
>their facebook page has a shitload of videos of them making this disgusting fucking "magic burger"

The fuck is wrong with California? Why are they always doing stupid shit like this?

>>16776122
It's the chemicals in the water supply.

>>16776087
>>16776106
Who the fuck would eat this? Are people just buying food so that they can take pictures of it.

>>16769919
OH YOU'LL EAT EM. YOU'LL EAT EM AND LIKE EM

>>16773239
nothing wrong with this

>>16773059
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>16772986
I just saw hand-shaped cookie cutters while shopping yesterday. Jello and those would be more than sufficient for this.

>>16776122
>The fuck is wrong with California? Why are they always doing stupid shit like this?
A former colleague of mine moved out to CA, the San Francisco area specifically, back in 2019. Before Eric moved he was more of a conservative in viewpoints and was disgusted by trannies, gays, and that shit associated with the far left.
He was back in town over the summer for a family situation and that motherfucker changed entirely.
>Wife and him are in an open relationship now
>He acts like a stereotypical gay man from Hollywood
>He was a member of the cult of YAY SCIENCE to where he was wearing a black science man shirt
My other buddies and I were shocked at home far he is fallen. The hilarious thing is after a week back home. He was started to act more like his old self.
The environment really does fuck with you.

>>16776152
Pretty much that. My ex-girlfriend thought herself a social influencer on tik tok and etc. She would drag me to these outrageous places that Frankenstein rainbow puke-looking food similar to the WEBMs you quoted.
Crystal would take one or MAYBE two bites, pose for a picture, and then trash the rest of the meal. In one situation in particular I lost my shit as we paid $30 per sandwich and she couldn't eat it as it was too sweet.

>>16776935

>>16776940

>>16776947
>captcha jak4t

>>16776951

>>16776959

>>16776959
Nice medium rare egg.

>>16776967

>>16776969
>likes dry eggs
what a pleb

>>16776974
wtf happened at the end?

>>16769919
ISRAILEI PALISTINIAN CONFLICT MUFFINS

>>16777656

It's called a drop shot

>>16776947
>evaporate
>not sublimate
what fucking idiots. there's not even any water to make "vapor"

>>16777491
why does she cry?

>>16778552
wtf???? this actually seems super useful if it works

>>16778592
god i wish i could go to korea and eat mouthfuls of fresh tender animals. i'd do it specifically to piss off obese midwest fucks and delicate west coast flowers, both.

>>16778331
>water vapor is the only kind of vapor

brainlet trying to lead the stupid.

>>16778570
im picking up some gay vibes from this one

>>16770231
>1626930076158.webm
is he drunk or does he just walk like that

>>16778582
what's the problem? are you aroused and this makes you unhappy?

>>16776106
>>16776097
>>16776093
>>16776090
>>16776087
>>16776085
>>16776083
>>16776077
>someone spends a nonzero amount of time dumping these gifs because their dislike of america occupies that much of their mental processing resource
Not even chinese spies spend this much time doing that

>>16778654
he had a stroke a couple years ago

>>16770982
love seeing my local junkie nodding off in the subway

>>16771004
FUCK SHIT GODDAMMIT HOW DO I STOP SPILLING THINGS FUCK

>>16769919
This shit was so normie to me almost a decade and a half before I even perceived people as normies.

>>16778622
i am a midwest fuck and i think it looks cool

>>16770982
the whole documentary was supposed to be anti-cocaine among chefs, and gordon was sniffing it and tasting it

In the spirit of halloween

>>16769837
Our society has become spooky.

>>16779388
i hope this was supposed to be funny cause i laughed

>>16776077
That's German you illiterate swine.

>>16776951

>>16769926
>>16769953
>>16770231
>>16770731
>>16770961
>>16771007

>>16779465
Fuck Jack. That abusive asshole deserves everything that is coming his way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUvYcUbxzYI

>>16779473

>>16773752
>>16773059
you think that one was bad?
oh how little you know

>>16779574
part deux

>>16769840
>>16769851
This shit makes me wish I had a wife to do cute stuff with and do tea parties :((((((((

>>16776951
Jack is such a fucking baffoon.

>>16779388
God gives his spookiest battles to his scariest clowns

>>16771051
>>16771261
>>16771264
No wonder the latin world has a humongous obesity pandemic lmao

>>16778331
>there is water in the cream you spaz

>>16776935
I could see myself making this.

>>16776969
>doesn't order eggs under easy
enjoy not making it

>>16778552
Here's a more simpler machine. I am sure you could find a more advanced one if you search:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPBOYXQkJ2o

>>16778592
thats just fucked up man

>>16779380
aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

>>16779380
wtf are those

>>16779516
God he is such an imbecile

>>16770752
Feetloaf

>>16779623
SEX

>>16776085
>>16776083
>>16776077

German low class tv program

>>16776085
I don't think Americans eat as much raw pork

>>16778642
cum vapor isn't vapor

>>16770786
>bitches in the background laugh instead of teaching him
this is why the west is dying

>>16771001
Sensible chuckle

>>16776083
first time i've seen the second part

>>16778351
Dunno, the cake brought back some fond childhood memories perhaps.

>>16769926
>>16769953
>>16770231
Do Germans really?

>>16771053
>he still descales his fish
laughinggirls.gif

>>16771394
Do Americans really?

>>16771048
why do they add sugar after the salt jej

>>16780474
Jack is Italian.

>>16770786
At this point, I can't even blame HIM. This is entirely the fault of his parents.

>>16771051
how are you supposed to eat this? surely not with your fingers like a savage? right..?

>>16771041
>using a computer, something that actually takes skill
>using a FUCKING CAN OPENER INVENTED BACK WHEN SLAVERY WAS LEGAL

not the same boss. Go be a cat-femboi somewhere else.

>>16769926
spoopy

>>16777642
was half expecting the potatoes to come out of the oven with soiboy faces

>>16778570
>>16778582
Fuck I hate faggots
t. homosexual

>>16773342
FASTER

>>16780884
the first one was hilarious tbqh desu

the second one I can relate to. who doesn't hate getting their hands all greasy and icky from eating out?

i do not see your reasoning behind this hatred. perhaps you should socialize more with different people to broaden your perspective on life?

peace out ya'll! ^u^

>top-down camera angle
>pristine lighting
>quirky editing and transitions
>silly and/or unique recipes
Is there anything more soulless? It's like a corporate advertisement.

>>16779578
good god

>>16781011
>who doesn't hate getting their hands all greasy and icky from eating out?
If only somebody would invent some kind of cloth or paper one could use to wipe their hands clean

>>16781021
it's clearly clipped from a content farm

>>16781029
>actually believing this
american detected

>>16773726
no one cares
your country has no culture

>>16769926
What video is this from? I can't find that product on his reviews

>>16781311
The video bombed, so he took it down.

>>16779131
i made this with that australian cheddar just now
it was good, my tummy is satisfied. maybe some broccoli in it would be good to

>>16779388
i dont want to exaggerate too much but that commercial is reason enough for nuclear world war

>>16780516
no he isnt

>>16782334
https://youtu.be/ok4cM6WTA5E?t=53

>>16779753
Snails I think

>>16771646
god damn this motherfucker is retarded lmao

>>16771646
Natives in the area had been chewing coca leaves constantly because of its effects. Some dude was like "Shit we should see if we can break this down into something we could put ANYWHERE, like drinks!" and that kickstarted it.

>>16783510

>>16783764
What the fuck.

>>16784051
It's literally just caramel

>>16779744
it's dead. It doesn't have a brain.

>>16781026
what a scene jesus

>>16779473
youtube is cracking down on covid anti vax stuff. jack's christian channel spreading bullshit just fyi report this shit and he will be cancelled

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OXgg1UA32o&feature=emb_logo

>>16781311
He got sued by the company and took it down

>>16770982
aw jeez, my sister died in the spaghetti

>>16773402
>half liter of V8 on
it was Clamato

>>16779131
why the fuck would you make roux and then add milk later? learn how to fucking cook jesus fucking christ

>>16771370
this one made me feel uncomfortable

>>16778592

>>16784051
sugar burns

>>16771620
wait until you hear about the ayahuasca brew.

>>16771051
There is no way this tastes good

>>16771646
Well they would know how the base components would react, then they deduce what the combined components need to react further, then they calculate, test, try and perfect.
Mind you all this shit with gasoline and cement is the cheap way, because what the fuck is some brazillian supposed to do but to cut costs? But the point being that this came after they'd probably figured more professional ways to make cocain.

>>16778351
Chinese Communist Party police killed her whole family.

>>16777656
Tasty's shitty version of an Irish Car Bomb drink, an equally shitty drink.

>>16771001
always wanted to try this fucking abomination, just to see how strange it'd taste

>>16773249
anon where do you find shit like this I'm fucking crying, I'm genuinely so fucking confused right now

>>16776959
no joke I went to a mom and pop diner in Kasas once and ordered "sunny side up" eggs and this is what I got, practically uncooked, runny as fuck eggs. I asked the waitress about them and she said that's how they're made in the midwest, they call them "wet" eggs

>>16779574
>>16779578
>chicken flavored Nyquil
it hurts so good

>>16779473
One of the comments says his son is married with a kid and they travel a lot and that he's actually investing his money wisely, so at least he's doing better than his shit excuse of a father

>>16781021
From what I understand a lot of the recipe/cooking videos like what you described are basically just made to be clickbait, they don't expect you to cook any of the nonsense they make, they just make them for the spectacle, to get clicks.

>>16785101
>>16781021
It's the same reason why youtube videos will always have a guy doing the soi face on the thumbnail. Sadly it's a market that's ripe for the picking.

>>16779388
That ad gave me an existential crisis and got me to swear off delivery apps and fast food the instant I saw it. Delivery apps are pure evil

>>16779397
Every single time someone falls for it. Congrats, retard.

>>16779687
Who are you quoting?

>>16780667
>using Windows takes skill
lol ok boomer/zoomer

>>16780848
This shit always looks much worse than just eating the ingredients on their own.

>>16779388
Jesus, that ad is unpleasant. Did they really think people would see those characters and find them appealing?

>>16781026
They're fast as lightning!

>>16785475
I don't get it. Do gooks think that drinking some coconut water and taking a few small bits of meat is super manly or something?

>>16785482
that looks like a wine gourd

>>16785481
religious retards deserve eachother IN HELL

>>16783764
imagine the smell

>>16785478
The normies eat it up, anon.
Just like the do with that corporate artstyle that's suddenly everywhere. God, I hate that shit.

>>16785482
Some of them do, yes. And she's making fun of those manchildren.

>>16771004
>are you tired of this ALWAYS happening when you try to cook?

>>16770982
Did she fuckin die??

>>16771048
Everybody's always ragging on the Scandinavians because they eat fermented fish etc. and these fuckers get a free pass?
This is some Pasi-tier cooking.

>>16785510
That video makes me laugh every time.

>>16773342
fuck, i miss cendol...

>>16771261
How it's it hot just a giant sloppa shit with all that liquid he pours on. And those lays style chips aren't very sturdy like tortilla chips..

>>16785513
Pangzai is based, eh farms food and doesn't afraid of anything.

>>16785510
What the fuck is even happening there
Why are this kids parents filming him fucking up
He was clearly going to slip on that spill and they just let him walk into it.
I hate it when people have zero parental instinct.

>>16786174
They have perfect parental instinct, you have to let kids fuck up on their own so they can learn. Also so you have something to laugh at.

>>16769837
Finally, a cupcake for Clarke
https://youtu.be/N-srj8gFwf0?t=55

>>16773418
>>16775827
She has a cut proof glove on

>>16770982
nini queen dat fenny hit haaaard

>>16771001
>uhmmm but bottom is way tastier sooo like UHMMM WUTS THE PROBLEM?

>>16785510
>A cup for me
>And one for the homies

>>16781026
>+15 Social Credit Score - Minding your own business

>>16785298
Someone show this bitch how to make corn fritters Jesus Christ...

>>16786525
That bitch is mentally deficient so I doubt teaching her would make a difference.

>>16769953
Sparkles

>>16770810
is this sensationalized? like what about the aztecs who also used it recreationally, surely they had recipes that didn't involved ghetto ass cement powder, gazoline and battery acid

>>16773336

>>16786876
The Aztecs just chewed the fucking plants, and got not nearly as much out of it as the modern concentrated version.

>>16779578
>>16779574
so he ruined like $25 worth of groceries and over the counter medication, then pretended to drink it for (you)s

>>16786893
ok then fucking concentrate it rtard why add the cement and all the motor oil fuel crap

>>16786976
Cheap and gets you high.

>>16776077
Always wanted to see the finished product

>>16776016
Severely underrated

>>16771685
acid base extraction of plant alkaloids is pretty much the most simple thing ever developed in chemistry. they use battery acid and gasoline because they don't have 50 gallon drums of pharmaceutical grade chemicals.

>>16786884
ngl was expecting him to lose part of that fingertip

>>16781011
xDD kawaiii desu UwO

>>16776947
>activated charcoal
won't that make you vomit?

>>16769926
I JUMPED

>>16771051
qrd on all the shit she puts on it?

>>16783764
one on the right became a demonic organism, kek

>>16769837

>>16785510
>The normies eat it up, anon.
no they dont, they had to take the comments off the youtube channel and the commercial reddit had to ban it cause people wouldnt stop shitposting their anger over it

>>16773239
My Strange Addiction was too stupid to be real. I refuse to believe those people were not actually actors paid to say they like to eat drywall or whatever.

>>16771051
>>16771261
These both look like shit prisoners make with what they can get from the commissary. I guess if you're customer base is all Mexicans, you want them to feel at home.

>>16776491
California can be a scary place. Although, like most states, if you stay out of the blue counties, it's pretty nice.

>>16776935
Just get some fucking tortillas.

>>16786976
The cement is an abrasive that helps break down the leaves. It's common to do a similar thing with betel nut. They'll mix coca leaves with lime, and then wrap it around a betel nut. The lime helps release the juices.

>>16787694
No, but it will fuck with whatever medication you might be taking.

>>16770752
Nice toe loaf

>>16770752
Is this ke-toe?

>>16770810
>It's raw
kek

>>16770992
it's not latex if it makes a difference

>>16776935
>Eat your hamburgers Apollo

>>16776940
Ain't this just a pork knuckle?

>>16770950
PEPSI MAAAAAAN

>>16775989
i would have an autistically fun amount of time with one of these motherfucking grills or whatever.

>>16784744
That waitress could tell you're a coastie and lied to you

t. Kansan

>>16785904
man that's a maymay I haven't seen for a while

>>16785298

>>16786976
Cement is used to basify the solution (you could also use lime) and gasoline is the solvent that splits the alkaloids from the fats and gunk.

>>16786174
>t. tragically overbearing helicopter parent

>>16786211
cut RESISTANT. It's not chainmail

>>16780667
In what universe does using windows take skill? You people are idiots and a lot of you are doing it.

>>16771663
Face it. He blew you the fuck out.

>>16771620
Western chemists figured out how to make pure cocaine out of coca leaves. Colombians reverse-engineered the process into to ghetto-ass recipe you see here.

>>16790518
How?

>>16787694
No, but it will absorb a lot of stuff in your digestive tract and take it with it as it leaves. Useful when you've ingested something dangerous, but mostly it just means you lost some vitamins and might need to retake a medication.

>>16790126
no, got bred crumz

>>16786976
if you just blend the leaves and boil it down to concentrate or dry it up, you'll only destroy the active substances
cocaine needs to be chemically separated from the rest using the substances present in cement and gasoline

>>16785513
what a god

>>16769919
fuck, now I feel old.

>>16773059
a classic that always has me roflcopptering.