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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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[ERROR] No.16734420 [Reply] [Original]

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero. If this order is taking place in the ghetto, several black people go DAAAAAAAAAAAMN*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

Don't worry dauntless fans of this sodium-hearted man of action, he'll be back in next weeks tantalizing issue, "I'll Have EVERYTHING With Bacon..."

>> No.16734423

>>16734420
>Here's something inconsequential I am perturbed by and which I call for incels online to validate me in

>> No.16734424

>>16734420
Nice aar

>> No.16734427

>>16734423
You should have wrote "other incels"

>> No.16734430

>>16734420
quality pasta, al dente

>> No.16734449

protip. if you want to make your bait more effective change the text in the picture from "people" to "white people", will get tons more replies

>> No.16734463

>>16734449
Nah, white people don't use this board.

>> No.16734464

>creating imaginary people in your head just so you can make fun of them
how sad

>> No.16734476

>>16734420
not a coffee drinker but when you order black coffee can't it also mean that you want to add sugar to your own taste to it? i assume these places have like sugar shakers on the tables.

>> No.16734482

>>16734420
People who order black americanos are the worst.

>> No.16734488

Ackshuallay it's a flat white with almond milk
T. Cringy atheist

>> No.16734502
File: 1.24 MB, 1600x900, 1621005589973.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>coffee.black.

>> No.16734528

I have noticed that some people try to make a big deal of the fact that they drink black coffee. If you ask them how they take their coffee they'll smirk and say, "black," like it's something epic, exactly like OP's image.

The funny thing to me is that most people I know drink their coffee black. My parents drank black coffee when I was growing up, my wife and her family does. I don't get why people seem to think it's some kind of hardboiled badass thing to do. You'd have to be a psycho to drink some sugary coffee beverage everyday.

>> No.16734544
File: 160 KB, 1440x1440, 1587646069928.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
[ERROR]

>>16734420
>someone ACTUALLY took the time to make that.

>> No.16734561

>>16734420
Nice writing anon, I keked

>> No.16734565

The real question is why would you go to a coffee shop just to get black coffee? At least get an espresso or Americano or something. The coffee is often made hours ago and stale from sitting on heat. Even if it's fresh, you can probably make a better cup at home for 1/10the price and you don't even need to leave your house.