/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.16643339]

Share your hot sauce collection

[Anonymous No.16643344]

[Anonymous No.16643484]

>>16643339
People collect hot sauce?

[ieatinmycar No.16643501]

>>16643344
>it's an overweight white guy in his 30s.
gee what a surprise

[Anonymous No.16643525]

>>16643339
what's even the point? i don't see people being this dedicated to salt or vinegar.

[Anonymous No.16643537]

i don't see the point in collecting food

[Anonymous No.16643569]

I have three (3) bottles of hot sauce at al times and you should too.
>Picamas Hot Sauce
>Green El Yucateco
>Tabasco
Anything more and you're a faggot. Anything less and that's fine honestly. Enjoy what you like, unless you make your entire identity and hobby about hot sauce, then kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.16643584]

>>16643339
shit like this is fucking stupid, and i say that as someone with two bottles of hotsauce in arm's reach right now
you only need a bottle of the one to three you use regularly.

[Anonymous No.16643586]

>>16643525
I guess he enjoys it? People collect all sorts of random shit. Who cares.

[Anonymous No.16643587]

>>16643484

people collect everything. People literally (AND I DO MEAN LITERALLY) collect garbage.

[Anonymous No.16643615]

>>16643339
If he could, by memory, describe each and what foods they best complement, I'd be impressed.

[Anonymous No.16643623]

>>16643525
Salt and vinegar never became a fad novelty like hot sauce.
I’ve seen dedicated “hot sauce stores” at shopping malls, containing thousands of hot sauces, most of which are just meme novelties with labeling that tries to be humorous.

[Anonymous No.16643661]

>>16643623
I'd go to a store like that if it had food and you could just use whichever hot sauce you wanted off the shelf

[Anonymous No.16643884]

>>16643344
Fixed

[Anonymous No.16643899]

>>16643339
Step aside, hot sauce dweebs, and behold my MUSTARD collection. Do try to stay behind the mustard yellow velvet rope, please.

[Anonymous No.16643963]

>>16643339
Despite not being into it, I can understand why someone would collect things like comic books and figurines. But hot sauce? That shit makes no sense. The flavor will change over the years so really all you end up having is a rather uninteresting bottle collection.

[Anonymous No.16643972]

>>16643963
>a rather uninteresting bottle collection.
Have you not seen people who collect shit like bottles, beer cans, or old tins?

[Anonymous No.16643991]

[Anonymous No.16643992]

>>16643963
>all you end up having is a rather uninteresting bottle collection.
That’s literally what people buy them for; the “hilarious” packaging. The actual sauce is inconsequential.
It isn’t purchased with the intent of using.

[Anonymous No.16644021]

>>16643884
Heh

[Anonymous No.16644025]

>>16643899
Based mustard poster

[Anonymous No.16644673]

>>16643339
90% of those are soil now

[Anonymous No.16644700]

>>16643344
>plain sign saying "hot sauce" mounted off-center and partially behind a shelf

[Anonymous No.16644732]

>>16643339
>Collection

[Anonymous No.16644738]

>>16643569
Mixed messages there, buddy.
Being inconsistent is woman behavior.

[Anonymous No.16645127]

i dont like spicy

[Anonymous No.16645667]

>>16643569
el yucateco habanero is dope

[Anonymous No.16645684]

>>16643339
sriracha
tapatio
secret aardvark's
tabassco
garlic hot sauce
el yucateco green
el yucateco red
ghost pepper sauce

[Anonymous No.16645703]

>>16643569
>Tabasco
Is that how a faggot spells "Tapatio"?

[Anonymous No.16645713]

>>16643339
>>16643344
If I opened all of these bottles, poured them into shot glasses and asked him to taste them do you think he'd even be able to do so?

[Anonymous No.16645730]

>>16643339
Made them myself. :)

[Anonymous No.16645737]

>>16643344
I've got a single bottle of wine that's probably worth more than his entire collection. What a pleb tier consooooomer collection...

[Anonymous No.16645747]

>>16645737
Collecting isn't investing. Monetary value is irrelevant.

[Anonymous No.16645781]

>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make it's debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

[Anonymous No.16645835]

>>16645781

[Anonymous No.16645852]

>>16645781

Yeah, that's total cringe. Why carry a custom multi-sauce loadout, when a single sauce can serve all your needs?

>go to fancy restaurant
>order expensive food & wine
>survey available condiments
>sigh loudly, snap fingers to summon waiter
>Excuse me, boy, may I see your hot-sauce menu?
>"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have one."
>Well, I already know what I want anyway. Fetch the Secret Aardvark, chop-chop.
>"The what, sir?"
>Se-cret Aard-vark? You know, the world's premier sauce?
>"Pardon me, sir, but I don't think we have that."
>Ah, so you ran out. That does tend to be a problem. You should inform your sauce-melier immediately. But fortunately... (wink & smile, reach inside jacket)... I always carry my own.

It's important to have this conversation loud enough for all patrons to hear.

Leave the bottle on the table with the logo facing outward. Before each bite, make a big show of opening the bottle, extracting a single drop of "red gold", and closing the bottle with a loud snap. Also frequently exclaim (to no one in particular) "Mmmm mmmm! That's my 'Vark!"

If anyone looks over, be sure to smile, wink, and hold up the bottle, in case they want to take a picture for social media. Of course you'll also want to get your own photo showing the bottle next to your meal and yourself leaning in, mouth agape at the zesty spice. (Don't forget to tag #varklife! One lucky winner this month will get a limited-edition Secret Aardvark® Nintendo Switch!™)

Last but not least, when paying the bill, on the "tip" line, write:

>'Vark goes great on 'za! :^)

In the #varklife, we call that a Coup d'Vark. #AlwaysVarkin

[Anonymous No.16645858]

>>16645852
do suicide

[Anonymous No.16645861]

[Anonymous No.16645862]

>>16643339

[Anonymous No.16645864]

>>16645852
Because shardvark shills on this board I've made it my life's mission to reverse engineer the recipe and share it with everyone whenever I see the shilling.

[Anonymous No.16645869]

>>16643899

Diggin' those custom mustard-colored ropes to keep the plebs away from the 'stard.

[Anonymous No.16645882]

>>16645852

[Anonymous No.16645895]

>>16643525
>i don't see people being this dedicated to salt or vinegar.
I mean, people will spend some crazy money on the -right- balsamic vinegar, and one bottle could cost more than a bugman's entire hotsauce empire.

[Anonymous No.16645907]

>>16645861
*fire alarm goes off*
Also that one with the little grim reaper cape is only like five bucks at the BigLots, I bought one of those when I needed to give an impersonal Christmas gift to somebody.

[Anonymous No.16645909]

>>16645858
>>16645864

It's cool, we get it, not everyone is cut out for the #varklife. Especially since Portland got "diversified", 'Vark has been in short supply, and best reserved for the chosen few. But hey, you do you! There's no shame in looting fistfuls of McDonald's breakfast-burrito mild picante sauce. #AllSaucesMatter

[Anonymous No.16645919]

>>16645907
Seems like a Big Lots thing. The Halloween display appears earlier each year. It's fitting.

[Anonymous No.16645921]

>>16645907
>Also that one with the little grim reaper cape is only like five bucks at the BigLots, I bought one of those when I needed to give an impersonal Christmas gift to somebody.

They say "it's the thought that counts", but not when that thought is "I hope you literally die from consuming this chemical waste in novelty packaging."

[Anonymous No.16645967]

>>16645861

Fifth-row left almost looks like HP Sauce, the official sauce of the Netherlands (formerly England).

[Anonymous No.16646019]

>>16645781

[Anonymous No.16646044]

>>16643525
>i don't see people being this dedicated to salt or vinegar.

You either don't see many people or the people you see don't know many varieties of salt and vinegar.

[Anonymous No.16646089]

>>16645921
If a "foodstuff" comes with that much novelty packaging you're not supposed to eat it.
5-20 dollar gifts to the far off "cousin" or "sister's boyfriend" tier of just barely important people are dogshit where most of the present is reminding the person that you remain aware of their existence.

[Anonymous No.16646097]

>>16643501
Kek

[Anonymous No.16646105]

>>16645852
I like Aardvark but I have only eaten it on eggs so far. And now that I think of it I’ve gone through maybe three bottles of the stuff and only on eggs.

I started ordering hot sauces from a place last year and I’m disturbed to be seen as a hot sauce collector. But so be it.

[Anonymous No.16646126]

[Anonymous No.16646287]

>>16645861
Imagine coming home from work and seeing this

[Anonymous No.16646290]

>>16646287
i'd storm up the stairs, stomping on as many bottles as i can on the way up

[Anonymous No.16646317]

There is only one
$1 a bottle
Liquid fucking crack

[Anonymous No.16646475]

Sriracha. Sometimes it has a goose on it and sometimes an eagle

[Anonymous No.16646492]

>>16646290
Fucking lol

[Anonymous No.16646801]

>>16645852
>#varklife
Lost

[Anonymous No.16646924]

The hot sauce seethe on this board always make me chuckle. So many loser manbabies that hate to see others enjoy something.
>>16646317
spend 50 cents more for the black label

[Anonymous No.16646932]

>>16645895
expensive vinegar and salt exists, a vinegar nerd culture to the extent of hot sauce culture doesn't

[Anonymous No.16646944]

>>16643344
Do redd*tors really?

[Anonymous No.16646976]

>>16643339
>>16643344
This is beyond soy and reddit, what tier is this?

[Anonymous No.16646991]

>>16646105
>I started ordering hot sauces from a place last year and I’m disturbed to be seen as a hot sauce collector. But so be it.

The only the thing worse than being a "Redditor" is being a "4channer" who deprives himself of things he enjoys simply to avoid being quoted with a soyjack. (inb4 this post gets quoted with a soyjack.)

In reality (as opposed to /ck/), there's nothing cringe about buying & using "boutique" hot sauces. I currently have about a dozen in my pantry, amidst myriad other condiments. The cringe only starts when you start buying so many that you don't even open them, or at least can't use them up before they spoil (most sauces will eventually oxidize after opening). Pathological cringe begins when you build special shelves to display your "collection". The cringe becomes fatal after you start taking photos of your "collection". And if the photos include yourself, with or without soy-gape, then... sorry anon, you are already dead.

[Anonymous No.16647014]

>>16646089
>If a "foodstuff" comes with that much novelty packaging you're not supposed to eat it.

On that we are agreed. That's why the soy-hotsauce collages posted here are so retarded. If a sauce label includes any reference to "shit", "farts", or "ass", then it's not Hot Ones soy-tier--it's Cabela's boomer-tier, .

[Anonymous No.16647025]

I dont feel like taking a picture, but I love original tabasco sauce with my eggs, so of course, my gf got me one of those tabasco boxes with all the flavors for christmas.. so I have all of them. I still like the original the best. I've been slowly suffering through the other ones. The green one is the second best, I guess. But I still dont like it. The habanero has a weird flavor. The chipotle one is good on certain things. Good flavor. I havent tried the bufallo, sweet and spicy, or cayenne garlic ones yet.

[Anonymous No.16647026]

>>16645730
based

[Anonymous No.16647118]

>>16646924
>spend 50 cents more for the black label
Costs more, tastes the same

[Anonymous No.16647125]

>>16646991
>4channer

[Anonymous No.16647195]

>>16643339
lol who in their right mind would collect hot sauce. that has to be a lot of money in tht collection, wich does not accumulate value over time, but instead, degrades and becomes useless.

[Anonymous No.16647286]

>>16643339
>>16643344
Conceptualize the aroma.

[Anonymous No.16647294]

>>16643339
If cuckkits wife' s boyfriend had a house ...

[Anonymous No.16647296]

>>16646991
Agreed 100%.

[Anonymous No.16647337]

>>16645852
>sauce-melier

[Anonymous No.16647340]

>>16643884
what's the difference except it's slightly cropped?

[Anonymous No.16647357]

>>16647337
>>16645852
>sauce-melier
is this a play on words? could someone explain?
in advance thanks

[Anonymous No.16647394]

>>16643661
That's a pretty good idea anon. I'd eat at a place like that as well.

[Anonymous No.16647401]

>>16647357
It's a play on sommelier, a wine steward.
It's French, so pronounced like sauce but without the trailing "-ce": "sau(ce)-melli-ay".
If you don't know what a sommelier is, in fancy restaurants, they give a job to some guy who does nothing but take care of, order, stock and serve the wine, with the idea being that this restaurant cares so much about their wine selection, they have an on-site specialist who does nothing but wine.
It has connotation of snooti-ness and is often accused of being a meme job filled by phonies.

[Anonymous No.16647427]

Rate

[Anonymous No.16647445]

>>16647427
gay/10

[Anonymous No.16647461]

>>16647427

What do you think of that Torchbearer Garlic Reaper sauce? Wanted to try that.

[Anonymous No.16647468]

>>16647427
>tabasco
-10/10

[Anonymous No.16647485]

>>16647427

Fine/10. Mostly domestic & ethnic sauces, with a reasonable complement of meme sauces. All show evidence of actually having been used. Background is a little kitschy--but no anime, Funkopop, or Rick & Morty merchandise. Dell laptop (i.e. anything but Apple). No soygape. Keep on saucin'.

[Anonymous No.16647519]

>>16647025
the chipotle one is my go to pizzasauce

[Anonymous No.16647534]

>>16643339
>>16643344
>So you like hot sauce?
>”Yes!”
>Why are these bottles all unopened, and full?
>”...”

[Anonymous No.16647546]

>>16647468
>it’s bad because everyone has heard of it

[Anonymous No.16647558]

>>16643525
People who lack hobbies and are like level 1 slimes in their personality complexity like to buy things and wear them in ways that make them seem deep and interesting.

People like this like to have a "thing" not because it is what they want, but because it is what they think other people will respect from them.

Obviously most of these bottles are unopened and cheap but he wants to be seen as cool or that guy who is really into spicy food.

[Anonymous No.16647585]

>>16647558
“Collecting x” is a hobby. It can be low-tier depending on what you collect. Of course, now in the days of eBay and Amazon, it’s much easier to collect stuff than it used to be, when you either had hunt through shops, go to swap meets, or order certain things via mail order catalog.
But on the other hand, inheriting a boomer’s collection of useless plates is despised here, so some zoomer’s hot sauce collection will be just as disappointing to whomever cleans his house when he dies.
>ugh, all these bottles
>sauces have turned to vinegar or gone solid or spoiled

[Anonymous No.16647588]

>>16643339
I have a bottle of tabasco in my cuboard.

[Anonymous No.16647637]

Secret Aardvark
Palo Alto Fire Fighters Chipotle Pepper Sauce
Chalula

[Anonymous No.16647640]

>>16645730
very cool. Variety?

[Anonymous No.16647641]

>>16643615
>What's going on?

>Barry can pick out the exact right
flavor of hot sauce to complement any meal.
>Go ahead. Challenge him.

>Challenge him?

>Come on.

>Franks and beans.

>Spoon of Tabasco, spoon of Sriracha.
>Don't waste my time. Come on. Push me.

>Sea bass.

>Grilled?

>Sautéed.

>I'm with you.

>Potatoes au gratin.
>Asparagus.

>...

>Secret Aardvark.

>Woof!
>Woof!

>"Woof" what?
>How do you know he's right?

>How do we know?
>1,400 upvotes across Reddit..
>That's how we know.

[Anonymous No.16647678]

>>16647640
Purple ufo. they turn red when ripe and have a medium heat.

[Anonymous No.16647701]

>>16643587
Garbage makes more sense than hot sauce.

[Anonymous No.16647729]

>not realizing hot sauce is a sound investment
Fucking financelets; the lot of you.

[Anonymous No.16647731]

>>16645703
No faggots spell tapatio like T-A-P-A-T-I-O

[Anonymous No.16647734]

>>16647729
Those originally retailed for ~$50, but it's quite clear nobody is actually buying them at those retarded prices.

[Anonymous No.16647740]

>>16647731
>inadvertently calling yourself a faggot
Played.

[Anonymous No.16647767]

>>16643972
you don't eat bottles moron.

[Anonymous No.16647771]

>>16643991
make the hair blond and that's literally me

[Anonymous No.16647782]

>>16647767
Neither do you eat beer cans or old tins, but we're talking about collectables, not food.

[Anonymous No.16647834]

>>16647782
he was saying that hot sauce is a weird thing to collect because one of its defining qualities (taste) degrade over time. the same is not true for other kinds of non-consumable collectibles. moron

[Anonymous No.16647845]

>>16647834
Beer also degrades over time. The point was that it's the container that's the collectable part.

[Anonymous No.16647862]

>>16647734
>Those originally retailed for ~$50
I’m pretty sure it was $35? But yeah, it was a one time only production run.
Honestly though, I wouldn’t be surprised if it eventually sells for a ton.
Tabasco is the only hot sauce I know of which has a significant number of “brand collectors”, in the same way as how there’s a lot of people who collect Coca-Cola stuff.

[Anonymous No.16647871]

>>16647862
I still sincerely doubt anyone is going to pay $12,000 when the auction for $135 has zero bids.

[Anonymous No.16647872]

>>16647427
>no louisiana
wtf lmao

[Anonymous No.16647873]

>>16647834
Tell that to the coke/Pepsi collectors.
An old/rare/collectible bottle of that stuff is worth a ton more if it’s unopened, despite the fact it’s full of expired product.

[Anonymous No.16647886]

>>16647871
>I still sincerely doubt anyone is going to pay $12,000
Well yeah, that’s a given.
People throw retarded prices on eBay all the time.
I do love how that description says “50% charity”, as if some rich philanthropist will buy it for a good cause.

[Anonymous No.16647911]

>>16647427
I've got the Hellfire Fear This! in my fridge right now.

[Anonymous No.16647918]

>>16643569
I just make my own it is stupidly easy you CAN'T fuck it up though I do agree that the trinity of hot sauces in your fridge are good:
>one mild
>one with a good amount of heat
>one verde

[Anonymous No.16648039]

>>16647873
i understand collector culture I was just clarifying that other anons argument about why it seems illogical to collect perishable goods

[Anonymous No.16648725]

>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make it's debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?