Old man cooking is epic. His wife knew all kinds of old timey recipes, and did all the cooking. One time, she went to visit her kids and needed to leave him alone for a week. She bought him a bunch of frozen foods that he could just microwave or throw in the oven, because she didn't trust him to not destroy the kitchen. She made sure it was all precooked stuff because she also didn't trust him to not poison himself.
She asked me to make up an excuse to go visit him midweek to make sure everything was ok. When I showed up, he said he was about to have lunch, and asked if I wanted some. I politely declined as he walked over to the stove and turned on the burner under the massive pot. I knew he didn't have anything that needed a pot, so I took a look. It was full of a vile looking slop that had a slightly off smell. It turns out that as soon as his wife had left he'd gone to look at what she'd bought. He decided that the writing on the packages was too hard to read, so he just threw everything in the pot and cooked it up. EVERYTHING. There was lasagna, macaroni and cheese, fish sticks, chicken strips, pizza, and a couple of other things. He'd cooked it all up and just left the pot on the stove. Whenever he was hungry, he'd just warm it up. I could tell that it had already turned, and eventually it was going to be strong enough to kill the old bastard. His dead old man taste buds couldn't tell.
When he went to the bathroom I rifled through the cupboards and put about a cup of apple cider vinegar in the pot. When he came back it had started to bubble, so he ladled some of it into a bowl. He tried it, and the strong vinegar flavor made him decide that it wasn't good any more. I pretended to try it and agreed. I ended up coming back every day to prep food for him until his wife got home.