/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.16508216]

Sublime. Chefs in Japan train for decades to be able to impart a bouquet of harmonious flavors to a meal. A perfect choir of tastes, with not a single one overpowering the other. Accessible to a connoisseur, but not a layman. The great genius of McDonalds - what sets it apart from all other restaurants - is that it had created a way to achieve the delicate concert of bun, vegetables, and an expertly crafted patty you could only reasonably expect from an expert Japanese cook delicately preparing ideal sushi or translucent leaves of fugu meat and perfectly cooked rice, on an industrial scale, and made it available to all. The flavors blend into each other, gently sing you their story as a choir. Nothing stands out. Everything is in its perfect place, unlike shitty parodies like five guys or burger king that overwhelm you with dissonant flavors. A pleb thinks that it is "tasty" or "succulent"; a master realizes it is offensive, and returns to deciphering the symphony of McDonalds craft meals.

Sublime.

[Anonymous No.16508297]

Didn’t read

[Anonymous No.16508774]

I read it and probably would do so again

[Anonymous No.16508792]

>orders large mac
>doesn’t go through at least 2 salt packets while eating it

[Anonymous No.16509259]

I went to a McDonald's in Japan once and almost slipped with my tray because it had rained all day and my shoes were wet. Plus I think someone had spilt something on the floor.
so yeah, OP's right

[Anonymous No.16510559]

>>16508774
it's your choice

[Anonymous No.16510625]

>>16508216
I live in Japan and people here genuinely think that corn on pizza is delicious and some sort of hidden italian delicacy. People here are really fucking nuts about italian food but can never remotely cook anything like it. There are loads upon loads of "italian" restaurants here but when you go in it's always some weird fucking japanese ripoff where they fuck up all of the dishes by adding jap shit like raw squid and eel and shit to it and then they try to fucking play it off as "real italian food". It doesn't help that people here don't know what normal bread or cheese is. It's all fucking gross. I have not had any normal-tasting cheese in all the time I've lived here, and good bread is about as rare as a properly paid salaryman. These people are born on this island, they will live their whole lives on this island, and they will die on this island without ever tasting real bread or cheese in their life and that's just sort of sad. The worst part is that because no japanese person actually knows what real italian food is like, nobody can call restaurants out on this bullshit, everyone eats it all up and calls it "honto ni umaiiiii uwuwuwu" and everyone thinks this is what real italian food is like. It's just sad. "Oh rettsu addu fishu eggu andu seaweedu to pasta carbonara don't u kno this is how rearu itarian peeporu eat!". The worst part for me is that japan doesn't just massacre classic italian food like this, but they also do it with every other country's cuisine imaginable. French, spanish, mexican, turkish, you name it. They botch everything they come across as "wow foreign so cool" but it's never apparently fucking good enough unless they douse it in soy sauce and raw octopus to make it "authentic european" food. Don't get me wrong I love me some japanese food but fuck this country for ruining foreign food culture and fuck the people for being too retarded to not know what real food is like, even though they kind of can't help it, fuck em it's gross

[Anonymous No.16510679]

>>16508216
Op is right and I am saving this in my copypasta folder to plagiarize later

[Anonymous No.16510721]

>>16508216
you're a fucking idiot

[Anonymous No.16510775]

>>16510625
heh nice

[Anonymous No.16510790]

>>16508216
how much mcpennies did the clown give you op

[Anonymous No.16510794]

>>16508216
The bun.
Exquisitely soft, decadently airy, melts in your mouth with a naughty hint of sweet. You can't bake them this good. You can't buy them this good. Add a sprinkling of sesame seed for those roasted undertones and you're in bread heaven.

The patty.
It's rich. It's juicy. How they manage to provide consistent quality, far surpassing the so-called "premium grade" beef served at your average "high dining" establishment is a mystery. Truly, McDonald's is a culinary, technological and logistical marvel the likes of which have never been seen. It takes just one bite of the patty to make a lifelong fan. There is nothing like a McDonald's patty.

The sauce.
This is where McDonald's technological and scientific achievements shine the most. The sauce is a substance unlike any other. It contains pure raw flavor and umami in concentrations that dwarf any competitor or imitation. All while remaining pleasant, light, playful and utterly divine.

The vegetables.
If you told me, before my life-changing experience at my local McDonald's restaurant 12 years ago, that a fast food franchise could consistently provide the freshest produce to millions of customers every single day, I'd call you a mental patient. Yet, somehow, they've done it. Bravo, McDonald's, your logistical finesse is a marvel of human will and ingenuity.

The burger.
So, what do you get when you combine the finest, most innovative and highest quality ingredients? Surely, the product is an amazing sum of its parts. Not quite. There is an unmistakably synergistic effect when the McDonald's burger is assembled. Somehow, the ingredients add up to 150%. It should not be possible, but McDonald's did it.

You have never eaten a burger unless you've eaten a McDonald's burger. It sounds hurtful, but only to those who haven't had the life-changing experience of eating at the finest dining establishment in the world.

[Anonymous No.16510800]

>>16508216
If they don't want it they can stop buying it at any time, thats the great thing about McDonald's, whenever i don't want it, i don't buy it. Simple as

[Anonymous No.16512145]

no other board worships the most obscenely bottom tier shit of their respective niche like /ck/ does. this place is a dumpster fire.

[Anonymous No.16512162]

>>16510794
*salute*

[Anonymous No.16512344]

>>16508216
>>16510794
That was probably the finest bait I've ever seen. Good job, OP.

[Anonymous No.16512622]

>>16510625
*cracks raw egg over your octopus pizza*
>MAMA MIA JUST LIKE IN ITALY
Also lol at the bread part, japanese people love to soak their bread in oil idk why

[Anonymous No.16512802]

>>16510625
mamma mia

[Anonymous No.16512858]

>>16508216
Sir this is a drive-through

[Anonymous No.16514319]

>>16510794

[Anonymous No.16514803]

>For less than the cost of a Big Mac, fries and a Coke, you can buy a loaf of fresh bread and some good cheese or roast beef, which you will enjoy much more.

[Anonymous No.16514931]

>>16508216
>Japan

[Anonymous No.16515096]

>>16514931
why is japanese cuisine so hilariously bad?
the main staple dish of nipponland is sushi which is literally just fish on rice
their curry is just watered soup
ramen is just inferior version of authentic Chinese noodles
even instant noodles is taiwanese (Chinese) and not from japan

why could the nips not make a satisfactory cuisine?

[Anonymous No.16515166]

>>16508216
Yeah, I remember the 80's and 90's too.

[Anonymous No.16515501]

>>16510625
>These people are born on this island, they will live their whole lives on this island, and they will die on this island without ever tasting real bread or cheese in their life and that's just sort of sad.

THINK OF THE HECKIN FOODERINO