ITT: We post recipes EVERYBODY should know by heart

[Anonymous No.16346412]

Recipes every respectable human being should be able to cobble together by memory. Yeah, you're welcome to post a recipe, but not everything needs a recipe to be good.

My vote: Chicken Noodle Soup of some kind. Ideally from scratch, but you should know how to elevate it just with some stock as well.

[Anonymous No.16346445]

peanut butter and jelly
put butter on some rye bread with a knife and then clean the knife and then sprinkle chopped peanuts and then put on jelly I like grape jelly but try not to get the chopped peanuts in the jelly jar because sometimes they stick to the knife

[Anonymous No.16346465]

28oz crushed tomatoes
16oz tomato sauce
16oz tomato paste
1.5tspn salt
1/2tspn fennel seeds
1.5tspn fresh basil
2tbspn fresh flat leaf parsley
1tbspn sugar
2tspn Italian seasoning
1/2cup water
1 chopped onion
6 cloves minced garlic
1lb hot sausage
1lb bison

Makes the best sauce

[Anonymous No.16346478]

Chicken permission

[Anonymous No.16346482]

>>16346445
>rye

[Anonymous No.16346495]

>mashed potatoes
>rice
>pasta
>bread
>oatmeal
>couscous
If you can't cook at least one of these by heart, it's already over.

[Anonymous No.16346509]

ramen noodles

[Anonymous No.16346513]

>>16346478
Absolute easiest meal to make to impress someone without having to actually know much about cooking. You can even bake it, it's idiot proof.

[Anonymous No.16346536]

Ok here's some real shit if your poor and like calories
>Fry up ground meat and veggies of your choosing
>Steam rice
>Just as the meat n' veggies finishes open and dump a full campbells cream of mushroom soup can in the meat, no water just mix it in with the oil
>season with pepper and spices
>serve creamy meat on top of the rice
Extremely cheap and filling.

[Anonymous No.16346555]

>>16346536
>meat and vegetables over rice

autistics call it "bachelor chow" because of futurama.
But I'm willing to bet a significant portion of the world sustains themselves on shit that looks like this.

[Anonymous No.16346565]

>>16346555
red beans, and rice with some hamburger, or sausage is a god sent to anyone living pay check to pay check.

[Anonymous No.16346867]

How to order a pizza

[Anonymous No.16346886]

>>16346412
My Recipes
>Chicken noodle soup
1 can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup
1 can of water
>>16346445
Peanut butter, Jelly, two slices white bread
>>16346478
Tyson chicken cutlet
Raghu sauce
Kraft Shredded mozzarella
>>16346565
Hamburger helper, red beans

[Anonymous No.16347009]

Rice
Beans
Wala

[Anonymous No.16347625]

>>16346412
cream + soysauce is a great base for creating a sauce. Can be enough to just have those two and maybe some black pepper.

[Anonymous No.16347808]

>>16347625
That kinda sounds gross

[Anonymous No.16347839]

>>16347808
You're not meant to drink it. Try it out bro. What's the worst that could happen? The cream to soy ratio is good when it has a light brown colour.

[Anonymous No.16347889]

>>16346536
What if I replaced the meat with chick peas?
Meat is expensive where I live and chick peas are dirt cheap and high in calories and protein

[Anonymous No.16347957]

>>16347839
disco stang

[Anonymous No.16347964]

>>16346412
>Sloppa Shit
1 of everything you have that isn't borderline toxic
Cook in a pot or something for way too long
Slop onto a plate
Enjoy (optional)

[Anonymous No.16347972]

>>16347889
I'm sure it'd work.

[Anonymous No.16348043]

German red cabbage:
-as much red cabbage as you want
-as mixture of white vinegar, brown sugar, lemon juice, salt, and a bit of soy sauce if you want
literally just cook it and add more liquids depending on how crunchy or soggy you want it. Super simple, great side dish.

[Anonymous No.16348352]

>>16348043
Sounds tasty I'll have to try it

[Anonymous No.16348376]

>>16348043
>no apple
>no lard
My grandmother would've tossed your faggot ass into the oven.

[Anonymous No.16348489]

>>16346412
Milk+Egg=Babby
wa la!

[Anonymous No.16348537]

>>16346412
>Pierogi
>(Not recipe) how not to overcook your meat
>Egg salad
>Any stew or soup
>Learn way of potato find your prefered way and master it
>Omlets and egg bread
>Pancackes
>Carbonara
>spaghetti
>pickeled cabbage

[Anonymous No.16348957]

>>16346465
>crushed tomatoes
>tomato sauce
>tomato past

Redundancy thy name is yank.

[Anonymous No.16349051]

>>16348376
Oh my god. I realize now that I missed both of those somehow... Yeah, you have to use lard (or butter if you don't have lard), and add apples

[Anonymous No.16349077]

>>16346412
sauce

[Anonymous No.16349103]

Alfredo is a good one

Melt butter in a pan and add cream. Bring to a rolling boil to reduce for about 2-3 mins depending on how much and then add Parm, salt and pepper. Toss with cooked pasta and top with more cheese

Add savory herbs or whatever else you like to make it yours. Prociutto, bacon, chicken, tomato, mushroom...it's all good

[Anonymous No.16349196]

>>16347889
The only problem is chickpeas are not as savory as meat, they might need a little help.

[Anonymous No.16349235]

>>16348043
>Rotkohl with soy sauce
The wrong side won WWII

[Anonymous No.16349245]

>>16347889
I think it will taste like chickpeas instead of meat

[Anonymous No.16349256]

>>16349235
it's Japanese soy sauce if it makes you feel any better. Oma started doing that instead of adding a lot of salt at some point.

[Anonymous No.16349276]

the humble hash

cube up some potatoes, onions and bacon. saute garlic and chili in olive oil, fry potatoes until brown, add onion and bacon and cook through. season with salt and pepper, fry an egg how you like and serve

dead easy to make and delicious with good macros

[Anonymous No.16349294]

>>16348957
tomato paste is not redundant in a tomato sauce

[Anonymous No.16349618]

oyakodon, cheap and easy to make

[Anonymous No.16349696]

1 15 oz can of fish (canned salmon works wonderfully)
1/3 cup rolled oats
1 egg
Whatever spices you like

Mix all 3 ingredients.
Form the resulting mixture into patties
Pan fry.

Makes delicious salmon croquettes, only uses 3 ingredients, simple as hell.

[Anonymous No.16349726]

burrito

cook onions and peppers, throw ground beef in pan. brown. throw beans, garlic and beef broth in pan. season. salt. pepper. cumin. chili. cook until thickened. throw refried beans on top. close top, let beans warm. fill tortilla. ez.

[Anonymous No.16349760]

baked tater

preheat oven to 400° farenheit
clean tater
rub tater with salt and oil
place tater on rack for 1 1/2 hours
remove tater, slice open, squeeze both ends
add butter, sour cream, meat(s), cheese(s), or anything else you desire
if you have nothing to add to your potato it's because you're a failure at life

[Anonymous No.16349865]

>>16346465
>1tbsp sugar

[Anonymous No.16350080]

>>16346412
I've traveled the world and serving sizes straight up are not smaller than NA. I don't get this meme. Americans are just lethargic apes that get no exercise because they drive their SUVs everywhere and quite literally never walk.

[Anonymous No.16350103]

sandwich

[Anonymous No.16350121]

>>16346478
You have my permission.

[Anonymous No.16350130]

Is no one gonna point out the fucking iFunny watermark.
Holy shit I fucking hate the number of newfaggots on this board.

[Anonymous No.16350132]

>>16350130
No, because nobody is autistic enough to care, redditor

[Anonymous No.16350641]

>>16350130
The mark is ironic

[Anonymous No.16351600]

Bump

[Anonymous No.16351781]

>>16350132
Kill yourself newfag

[Anonymous No.16351866]

>>16350130
It’s bait and it’s summer

[Anonymous No.16351895]

>>16351866
It ain't the 90s anymore, grandpa. If I can shitpost on 4chan on my smartphone in the bathroom at work then kids can do it too while at school.

[Anonymous No.16352091]

>>16346412
spaghetti & meatballs
quesadilla
grilled cheese
be able to cook any kind of raw meat

[Anonymous No.16352312]

>>16347625
I assume I’ll be pouring cream into soy sauce and not the other way around, correct?

[Anonymous No.16352315]

>>16346495
Only useless fat fucks can't cook pasta

[Anonymous No.16352444]

>>16349077
Pixiv one-off
https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/80127993

[Anonymous No.16352465]

>>16352312
I do it the otherway around, but either way should work as long as you avoid the risk of having too much soy sauce. I talk about what colour it should have, light brown, in another post. To avoid too much soy I start with a base of cream and then carefully ad soy sauce to it. But there is no reason why going the other way around wont work, will atleast help in avoiding adding to much soy sauce. Also the Ratio is heavily in creams favour, something like 1 teaspoon of soy to 1-2 tablespoons of cream, followed by tasting and then adding according to your preferences. Too much soy sauce is an easy way to make this shit not tasty, so I can not stress enough the importance of making sure to not accidentally adding to much. Do not approach this from an eastern kitchen perspective, approach it from a western one.

[Anonymous No.16352533]

>>16349865
you're not a chef

[Anonymous No.16353038]

>>16350080
A search says a McDonald's medium coke was 621ml in the US and 325ml in Japan, strawberry milkshakes were 500 calories vs 210 calories, and the store used as a reference in Tokyo didn't even advertise super size fries. The super size meme is probably the main reason.

[Anonymous No.16353293]

>depression sandwich
2 slices white bread
Ice cubes
pairs well with tap water, ramen crumbs, and sleeping 18 hours a day

[Anonymous No.16353390]

>>16352465
This sauce is actually based af. Usually I make it with one part soy, two parts mirin, three parts cream, and then reduce by half at a low simmer. If you let it come to a high simmer or a boil you will scorch the soy and get a shitty flavor. Fucking fantastic on seared tuna steaks, salmon, or halibut. If you aren't comfortable reducing, you can also cornstarch it. Also, you can always add more soy sauce at the end of the sauce, but if you add too much soy it's hard to fix and you'd be better off starting over.

[Anonymous No.16354794]

>>16346412
Fish bait dough
Water
Flour
Mix and make it into a fish bite sized chunks.

[Anonymous No.16354803]

>>16346555
>>16346536
Honestly if I wasnt cooking for me and my gf I would have no problem eating random meat, vegetables, and spices mixed together with rice for like 5 days a week

[Anonymous No.16354825]

Cup o' Water
200 mL water
1 medium-sized glass cup
Go the nearest tap, put the cup under it, grab the faucet, twist your hands while gripping it, let the water flow and fill the cup until about 7/8 of the cup's height, twist your pulse in the opposite direction of your first twist. Serves 1 person.

[Anonymous No.16354864]

how to make a roux+how to season
if you can do these two things you're good
>2 tbsp butter
>3 tbsp flour
>2 cups liquid (water, milk, broth, wine, flat beer, canning liquid, any combination of, etc)
>lemon, hotsauce, worscherstershire
>cooked meat
>fresh, canned, frozen or cooked vegetables
serve with rice, noodles or potatoes

[Anonymous No.16355007]

>>16351781
Ironic

[Anonymous No.16355020]

>>16346478
Fuck you, if I wanted consent from the chicken I wouldn't be eating it.

[Anonymous No.16355029]

>>16346445
Really?
I always thought it was just peanut butter and jam.
I’ll give you an Aussie receipt in return.
Fairy Bread, a popular children party meal
White bread, add butter, add hundreds and thousands/sprinkles
Done

[Anonymous No.16355031]

>>16346445
>rye

Nigga, everyone knows wonderbread is the what you use for PB&J.

[Anonymous No.16355038]

>>16355031
Also, Nature's Own and WonderBread is literally created in the same factory. Same manufacturer marketed to different generations. All you hipster faggots should just buy wonderbread.

[Anonymous No.16355089]

>>16355038
>>16355031
>2021
>not using cornflour

[Anonymous No.16355186]

>>16352315
What does this even mean

[Anonymous No.16355201]

>>16348043
>>16348376

also caraway and black pepper

[Anonymous No.16355284]

>>16346465
tomatoes
onion, halved
butter

simmer until a bunch of the water has evaporated should be about 1-2 hours

This is a better sauce than yours.

[Anonymous No.16355309]

>>16346412
The soup tech tree is very easy. Here's a guideline that makes 4 servings of a couple major soups. You can adjust easily.
>1 large carrot, peeled and diced
>one small white onion, or two full shallots, pureed with one clove of garlic
>one stalk celery, diced
Couple different ways to go from here:
ministrone/tortelini
>Sautee vegetables in olive oil until soft and fragrant, then add stewed tomatoes, bell pepper, basil, chicken stock, and wine, later beans and pasta
Good chicken noodle soup
>sautee veggies, with chicken bones, and cut chicken (your choice), herbs, and bouillon, add water, let simmer for a few hours, add noodles, adjust water level accordingly. Fish out the bones and serve
Corn chowder
>slice thinly some lardons (bacon) and cook, letting them render their fat, which you should collect. Remove the lardons and set aside. Cube 4-5 yellow potatoes (though a mix works just fine) and sautee in the fat collected. Do so on a high high for browning, and stir often to free the bacon fond form the bottom of the pot. Add your mirepoix, stir in, and continue to Sautee, lowering your heat until medium-low. Add in chicken stock, a little butter, and one can of whole corn, water and all. Dimmer for hours, until the potatoes are soft. Add a drained can of corn, let simmer, stir until the potatoes are mostly disincorportated (chunks are good), and serve with pepper, scallions, and lardons on top.
Pretty decent ramen broth
>sautee your mirepoix, scallions, and pork/beef bones in sesame oil
>deglaze with water, 1 tsp white vinegar, and 1tbs teriyaki, 1tsp dark soy sauce, 1/2tsp garum/fish sauce
>simmer covered, skim fat, strain after 4 hours
>cook noodles in plain water, rinse, then deposit into broth with light veggies like scallions, very very thinly sliced onion rings, etc. Thin slices of pork tenderloin (broth at the end are quite nice)

Hopefully these are helpful as jumping-off points. Soups require little money, ingredients, oe attention.

[Anonymous No.16355311]

The most important habits you can have are these:
>taste and season as you go
>watch your pot
>lower temp, longer time never hurt anyone (you'll figure your stove and cookware's limits, as well as foods)
>season in small increments. You can always add more, but you can never take seasoning out.

[Anonymous No.16355984]

>>16355311
>You can always add more, but you can never take seasoning out.
you can "counter" a lot of spices with others though

[Anonymous No.16355994]

>>16355984
Yeah you can. But still, avoiding getting to that point is more essential than learning the advanced alchemy.

[Anonymous No.16355998]

>>16355994
of course, but it's good to know if you're new to cooking. It's what my mother taught me, also said the only one you can't balance out with something else is nutmeg, dont know if it's true, never use it.

[Anonymous No.16355999]

>>16354864
we get it dude you can your own vegetables. no one cares

[Anonymous No.16356001]

Meatloaf
>get some meat
>add some ketchup and onions and bread crumbs and milk
>oven until it’s cooked
Ez

[Anonymous No.16356016]

>>16355998
That's bs. With the exception of soups where you can just add more water to do better stoichiometry, you can't un-salt a piece of chicken by throwing sugar at it. In some cases you can /mask/ flavors, but usually in such quantities thag will overpower everything else.

[Anonymous No.16356024]

>>16346555
i have a very similar poorfag recipe; ground beef, canned tomatoes, onion, garlic and taco seasoning then mix with boiled rice. basically taco meat with rice. comes up to like 3/4£ for at least 4 meals, has both protein and carbs and actually tastes good. sometimes i'd roll it into a burrito with cheese and bit of sour cream if i was feeling fancy

[Anonymous No.16356030]

>>16350130

Is No OnE GonNa PoInT Out The FuckiNG WaterMARK!!! Holy Shiiiiiett I FucKinG HATE ThE NuMbER oF NeWFaGGoTs oN ThiS BoarD.

[Anonymous No.16356038]

>>16356016
>That's bs
you tell her bro, she used most of her spice rack for almost any given meal, probably too much for you whitey

[Anonymous No.16356053]

>>16356024

I do the same thing with leftover taco meat. shit is pretty good.

[Anonymous No.16356097]

>>16349618
And easy to fap to!

[Anonymous No.16356124]

>>16346555
>>16356024
Stuffed peppers might be the perfect form of this dish. You got the pepper for something green, then you add in the beef, tomatoes, corn, garlic salt, and maybe some egg noodles and you've got a cheap, easy, tasty, and nutritious meal.

[Anonymous No.16356305]

>>16356038

[Anonymous No.16356911]

bump

[Anonymous No.16356974]

>>16346412
How to cook chicken breast, most people cook it so it turns into a dry tasteless carpet. This is the easiest recipe possible to make it turn out moist and you can add anything you want to this base recipe. And before you autismos get all shitty about chicken breast and not eating thighs some people can't eat high fat foods so chicken breast it is.

Add some oil to a skillet on medium high
Let it come up to temp
Sear your chicken breast on one side
Sear it on the other side
Turn heat down to medium low
Add in a cup or half a cup of the cheapest cheap shit white wine you can buy depending on the size of your chicken breast
Cover and let it steam

Feel free to cut it open the first few times before you get the timing right to see if it cooked all the way through. You can add anything to this base, you could sear the chicken breast and then cook some vegetables in the residual oil and add some spices then add the chicken breast back to steam. You could do that and then remove the chicken breast and add some cream and tarragon and cook it down into a sauce, etc, etc.

[Anonymous No.16357173]

>>16346412
Oven fries.

[Anonymous No.16357464]

>>16357173
My oven fries come out bad but I think it's because I need to change from a glass dish to a baking sheet

[Anonymous No.16358026]

Bump

[Anonymous No.16358309]

>>16357464
Yeah ditch the glass. Here's what I do
>slice potatoes into your usual fry shape
>soak in water for an hour after agitating to get the starch off
>rinse and DRY with clean hand towel
>put in bowl that has a lid and season with whatever you want plus a couple tablespoons of oil, shake to coat
>Preheat to 400F and spread fries on baking tray lined with parchment paper
>Cook for 30 mins then turn and Cook for another 20 at 425F
They come out like pub fries, works every time.

[Anonymous No.16358383]

>>16349865
it cuts the acidity of the tomatoes you retard

[Anonymous No.16359692]

White bread
Spaghetti
Heinz tomato ketchup

[Anonymous No.16359700]

>>16358383
Yeah, great idea. Wouldn't want flavor in your food.

[Anonymous No.16359743]

>>16346445
>people falling for this post

[Anonymous No.16359977]

>>16346445
Based and rugbrødpilled. White bread is literally poison.

[Anonymous No.16361098]

>>16349760
fuck, that was a good looking pie
F
better luck next time kid

[Anonymous No.16361101]

Vodka sauce:
28oz can San Marzano tomatoes
1/3 cup vodka
1/2 onion diced
2 garlic cloves diced/crushed
1/2 cup cream
Red pepper flakes, dried basil, salt, pepper to taste

[Anonymous No.16361105]

>>16346555
Back on fit we call that a sloppa

[Anonymous No.16362896]

>>16346445
Good rye is delicious, fuck the tastelet americans. Its not even about the health benefits or whatever. Do yourself a favour and try butter+honey sandwiches on /GOOD/ rye.

[Anonymous No.16362902]

>>16350130
christ...

[Anonymous No.16363424]

>>16346555
Piccadillo?

[Anonymous No.16363448]

>>16346412
onion
taters
ham
cut it up and smack it on the stove with some oil

[Anonymous No.16364445]

>>16358309
>>16357464
interesting technique anon. i use ethan chlewboski's method of putting it in water + vinegar + salt for a few minutes, seasoning after. everything else the same. (recommend the vinegar part, adds nice flavor and keeps them rigid)

[Anonymous No.16364521]

Learn how to butcher and use a whole chicken from the supermarket.
>level 0: roast it whole
>level 1: butterfly it for roasting
>level 2: separate it into breast/thigh/drumstick/wing/carcass
>level 3: make your own stock with the bones
>level 4: start from a freshly slaughtered chicken
>level 5: slaughter it yourself

[Anonymous No.16364853]

>>16346465
>1lb bison
Where do you find a 1lb bison?
How small are they?

[Anonymous No.16364913]

>>16364853
A 2 month old fetus should be adequate

[Anonymous No.16364927]

>>16350130
ifunny is new /pol/ colony, so it's essentially 4chan.

[Anonymous No.16365039]

>>16349696
Missing green onions.

[Anonymous No.16365159]

>>16364521
>no oysters
heheheheh, oh if they only knew....

[Anonymous No.16365243]

>>16346412
The serving sizes in America aren't anything crazy. The real craziness is how huge your sodas are. Like a large anywhere else is smaller than a small in America, and then the American large is like a fucking bucket.
But your coffee sizes are tiny as fuck.