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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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16308058 No.16308058 [Reply] [Original]

Got some good food related jokes? Every time I get Greek food takeout I make this joke while paying:
"Y'know, I really love Greek food, I guess you could say I'm a Pitaphile"
Sometimes they laugh, but most of the time I have to explain the joke to them. So I don't think this is a very good one, was wondering if anyone had similar jokes.
I have developed this draft joke to tell while paying for Chinese food:
"You got a lot of bright lights in this place, maybe you could dim-sum".
Anyone got more good jokes for this type of situation?

>> No.16308586

>>16308058
Hahaha I read this post earlier and had a hearty chuckle.

I tried using that joke at the grocery store when I bought my olives but messed up the delivery. Said quite loudly in front of a woman with two female children "I'm a sick pedophile" then giggled while dancing on the spot like I do when I get nervous.

>> No.16308644

What does a nosey chilli pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business

>> No.16308726

>>16308058
Which cheese has no friends? ProvAlone.
Which potatoes come from the sea? Scallop potatoes.

>> No.16308761

>>16308058
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

>> No.16308780

>I’ll have the Dalai Lama omelet
*quizzical look*
>it’s one with everything
No one ever laughs

>> No.16308790

What do you call a brassica that hurts??

A brussrl sprouchie!!!

>> No.16308797

>>16308780
I told this one to my dad once and he beat me with a pair of jumper cables

>> No.16308819

>>16308058
Knock knock
Who's there
Jews control the media Hollywood and the banks. Carrot.

>> No.16308876

>>16308761
sus

>> No.16308881

>>16308819
As long as the world currency is loaned to us by a private clique of Jews we will never have prosperity nor liberty

>> No.16308994
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16308994

This isn't quite what you're after but it's a good joke

I was recently staying with my grandpa, and all of the plates at his house have food stuck to them. I said grandpa do you want me to install a dishwasher? He said the dishes were fine and they were "as clean as cold water will get them"
This became a recurring issue as I was staying with him for a short time.

Upon my departure as I was loading my luggage into my car, I was greeted by an old and somewhat grungy looking dog. I hadn't seen it the whole time I was there and I said "grandpa, I didn't know you had a dog" . To which my grandpa replied

"That's coldwater"

>> No.16309154

>>16308994
Kek I had one similar, except I knew he had a dishwasher cause he was always complaining about it.
I asked if he wanted help with his dishwasher as the dishes were grimy but he said that they would be able to make the dishes and orange orange juice orange orange lemon orange orange juice

>> No.16309684

>>16308058
Primarygus.

>> No.16309698

>>16308586
yeah that's basically how autistic op sounds

>> No.16309751

>>16308797
Go back.

>> No.16309805
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16309805

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese