Recipe reviewers are scourges of the Earth

[Anonymous No.16262336]

If you don't like the recipe, fine. But so tired of seeing these lame ass "Omitted the mushrooms. Didn't have dill on hand so I used taragon. My family didn't like it. 1 Star" type reviewers and commenters.

Also these insecure housewives with nothing better to do "MY husband ate it and he normally slaps me across the room after a bite of my slop" - as if your fucking husband is some kind of metric to be lived up to.

Triggered? You bet.

[Anonymous No.16262352]

>>16262336
I agree.

[Anonymous No.16262358]

>>16262336
What is pic rel kvetching about?

[Anonymous No.16262384]

>>16262336
She's a little princess still thinking reality is supposed to be a real life disney movie.

[Anonymous No.16263367]

>>16262384
where did you even get that from
you're obsessed

[Anonymous No.16263387]

>>16262336
I wonder how she feels about the recipe after 11 more years of life experience.

[Anonymous No.16263396]

>>16262336
>t. always gets shit reviews of his recipes

[Anonymous No.16263400]

>>16263396
Quite literally got shit for it. Because it was a review with explicit instructions on how to cram something up my ass.

[Anonymous No.16263566]

>Why can't they make recipes where you only need one pan? Not all of us are michigan rated chefs with a cafeteria's worth of pots and pans. One star.

[Anonymous No.16264440]

>>16263566
I never thought being from Michigan would make me so superior.

[Anonymous No.16265627]

>>16264440
>no additional UP pan to complete the set
This disgusts me

[Anonymous No.16265635]

>>16262336
What's even worse is highly rated recipes, and when you look at reviews they're all like:

>"This bread was good but it didn't rise, so I tripled the sugar and added some eggs and made pancakes. Great recipe!!!!!"

[Anonymous No.16266696]

>>16262336
>>16265635
The eternal Karen

[Anonymous No.16266792]

>>16263367
It's an accurate assessment. Unless there are 20 other reviews and all of them convey a similar experience, she is a dumb broad who expected it to be as easy as instant ramen and fucked it up.

[Anonymous No.16266825]

>>16262336
>Reviewers are scourges of the Earth
ftfy
Reviewers, critics, pundits, journos...all of them and their ilk come from the unwashed backside of the rats that scurry in the latrines of Hell.

[Anonymous No.16267637]

It gets better irl, I once witnessed a housewife badmouthing some guy she knew because he used too much butter for cooking
>Yeah you know if used as much butter as him, I would like the taste of the food as well obviously

[Anonymous No.16267672]

>>16262336
My favourites are when they use margarine instead of butter.

[Anonymous No.16267692]

>>16262336
>NOOOOOOO COOKING WITH OIL IS MESSY AND REQUIRES CLEANING NOOOOOO THIS ISN'T FAAIIIIRRRRR
wow jessica is kind of a bitch.

[Anonymous No.16267749]

>>16262336
>muh grease everywhere
turn down the heat you dumb bitch

[Anonymous No.16267757]

I hate them as much as I do Amazon reviewers (whiny retards), or even worse, "Yelpers" (literal subhumans).

[Anonymous No.16267770]

>>16262336
>My family didn't like it. 1 Star
That's legit though. If it tasted like shit why would you rate it highly?

[Anonymous No.16267771]

>>16267757
Then why are you going out of your way to read Amazon reviews?
And why the absolute fuck are you going to Yelp?

[Anonymous No.16267775]

>>16262336
but how will I know I like it unless hubby approves????

[Anonymous No.16267788]

>>16262336
reviewers are actual niggers and use it as a tool to vent their hate for whatever they’re reviewing rather give an impartial verdict on it.

[Anonymous No.16267820]

>>16266825
Dangerously based.

[Anonymous No.16267826]

>>16266825
This

[Anonymous No.16267838]

>>16267771
some people only want positive reinforcement

[Anonymous No.16267979]

>>16267757
love amazon reviews
q:
>does this device work with google?
a:
>i dont know - Edna

[Anonymous No.16268300]

>>16267979
>1 star by Laquisha/Karen/Stacy
>"AWFUL BLENDER OMG"
>"THIS BLENDER WAS GOOD FOR 1 WEEK, AND THEN IT JUST FUCKING EXPLODED AND NOW MY HUSBAND HAS A MESS TO CLEAN"
>*shows a picture of her exploded blender, clearly is filled to the absolute brim, AND a bunch of ice*
>"30000 people thought this review was helpful"
>top review

[Anonymous No.16268318]

>>16268300
>NOW MY HUSBAND HAS A MESS TO CLEAN

[Anonymous No.16268337]

>>16267979
>looking for an apartment
>read reviews
>half of them are from nontenants
>search sites have ratings with no reviews or reviews that don't match the rating
>another quarter are fake from the staff

[Anonymous No.16268340]

>>16266825
Hey!!! That's my goddamn picture. I posted that here ages ago! I'm amazed you kept it.

[Anonymous No.16268369]

>>16268337
A good apartment won't have a high enough turnover for there to be reviewers.

[Anonymous No.16268377]

>>16262336
Tell me about it

[Anonymous No.16268386]

>>16267979
kek

[Anonymous No.16268406]

>>16267979
Based Edna blowing google glowies the FUCK out.

[Anonymous No.16268418]

>>16262336
There are 2 parts to a recipe.
The ingredients
The method

I find most recipes get the ingredients part right, but are very light on instruction.
Also many recipe followers are too inexperienced to qyestion why certain steps are included or even the reason for their inclusion.

[Anonymous No.16268424]

>>16267826
Hope you dont read fiction anon.

[Anonymous No.16268432]

>>16267770
It could be badly made. Or the family might not like the food no matter how good it would be prepared. If someone doesn't like fish no matter how it's prepared, it's not the recipes fault.

[Anonymous No.16268513]

>>16268377
excellent image

[Anonymous No.16268518]

>>16268424
Every opinion on this site is fiction.

[Anonymous No.16268534]

>>16268377
Wtf?

[Anonymous No.16268540]

Daily reminder: your opinion is NOT part of the recipe

[Anonymous No.16268547]

>>16268518
Yes it is

[Anonymous No.16268643]

>>16262336
>Such amazing service! Our waiter Pierre was so attentive and patient even with listening to my allergies so the chef could accommodate.
>The atmosphere was amazing and electric, the food was incredible and generous portions too, Hubby could barely finish his!
>NO parking out front, had to park a whole block away.
>1/5 stars, will NEVER go back.

[Anonymous No.16269093]

>>16268643

[Anonymous No.16269139]

>>16266825
You ain't wrong

[Anonymous No.16269457]

>>16263566
Why is she sitting on a table with her dirty feet? Doesn’t she have a chair?

[Anonymous No.16269488]

>>16263566
Based one pan MILF.

[Anonymous No.16269521]

>>16268432
By that logic no negative review of the meal is ever going to be valid

[Anonymous No.16269539]

>>16269521
Stop being so fucking picky you sad cunt, next thing you tell me the "food" needs to be "edible". Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.16269547]

>>16269521
Right, one composed of opinion can not be valid. Reviews should only supply descriptive information about what has been sampled, and to the extent that it's possible avoid impregnating that information with subjective impressions.

[Anonymous No.16269598]

>>16262336
>reading recipes
>reading recipe """reviews""""
who does this shit
just fucking wing it do you even cook

[Anonymous No.16269877]

>>16269093
fucking hate google reviews so much, especially the cringey "local guides"

[Anonymous No.16269924]

>>16269598
Depends on what you’re making. Not including baking, If you’re trying to make something you’ve never made before, follow a recipe.

[Anonymous No.16269945]

>>16269598
Even if you don't follow the recipe, reading recipes is useful for broadening your perspective as to what is possible. Then when you're winging it, you have more ideas rattling around in your subconscious to work with.

[Anonymous No.16269967]

It's people who don't know how to cook who think that they do know how to cook and read shit online about how you don't 'need' to follow a recipe
>>16268418
Yeah this too
Indian recipes written by non indians are incredibly susceptible to this, usually the recipe is just 'fry onions until nicely caramelised then dump everything else into the pan and you're done'

[Anonymous No.16269982]

>>16262336
Every single fucking cunt only writes the review to show everyone how they improved it

>we don't use cinnamon in my house so substituted for ground star anise and nutmeg, also used wholemeal flour (less than the recipe calls for) and a drop of creme fraiche instead of butter. recipe calls for baking far too long, 45mins at most but 50 if you don't have creme fraiche and need to use butter"

like fucking die in a fire karen

[Anonymous No.16270118]

Guy posted this on the amazon reviews for Coyote brand pancake mix. Fuck this cuck, coyote pancake mix is great. It even has a coyote on the package, what else could a man want?

[Anonymous No.16270146]

>>16262336
>Also these insecure housewives with nothing better to do
It is common knowledge that woman, despite it is expected that it's their job, cannot cook

[Anonymous No.16270151]

>>16263566
Just use the pan twice after cleaning the oil with paper towel what's the problem

[Anonymous No.16270153]

>>16270118
A wife who loves him, who improves his life, and whose life is also improved by her partnership with him.

[Anonymous No.16270159]

>>16270118
I hate him for wasting his time writing such a stupid shitty fiction on the internet.

[Anonymous No.16270181]

>>16269521
It is valid but complaint should be reasonable for people to understand, why the downrank.
Like meat was overcooked, oversalted etc

[Anonymous No.16270186]

>>16270159
>broken leg from slipping
This fat fuck is genuinely retarded if he thinks this is believable

[Anonymous No.16270187]

>>16263367
Fuck off Jessica!

[Anonymous No.16271747]

>>16270118
>ummm
0 to cringe instantly

[Anonymous No.16271823]

>>16262336
This.
When I see all the "I replaced the butter with applesauce and the sugar with stevia. Added some wholegrain flour to make it healthier and I also removed all nuts because my son's school doesn't allow it in the kids lunchboxes. It was so dry. I'm never doing these again because MY SON hated them. 1-star and that's only because they smelled good while baking in the oven"

Part of me laughs and the other part worries about how malnourished her son must be. All the "healthy replacements" makes half of the food unpalatable. That's why they make whole cookbooks about healthy food: the recipes were made to be that way.
FFS it's not that hard to use a cookbook and get your ass to the store.
Did Paul Bocuse become a great chef because he ommited butter and put apple sauce instead? If the snail eating frenchfucks can do it Linda can do her part too.

[Anonymous No.16271836]

>>16262336
>making Chinese food
there is no reason to ever do this. it's better and cheaper to buy takeaway

[Anonymous No.16271856]

>>16262336
>Omitted the mushrooms. Didn't have dill on hand so I used taragon.
Gaaahhhh these are so frustrating. If you changed it and didn’t follow it precisely MAYBE THAT’S WHY IT CAME OUT BAD

[Anonymous No.16271857]

Bolognese

[Anonymous No.16271859]

It's the same problem with restaurant reviews but inverted, where people will love a restaurant simply because they serve comfort food and has decent fries. There are a lot of underwhelming restaurants with 5 star reviews and people gushing about the quality of the food. That's why Michelin guides still serve a purpose; you simply can't trust normal people when it comes to food.

[Anonymous No.16271867]

Bolognese - bon apoetit

[Anonymous No.16271888]

>>16271859
True dat

[Anonymous No.16271892]

>>16271857
>>16271867
what fucking site do you get this garbage even from?

[Anonymous No.16271901]

>>16271867
Veggie bolognese. Honey... Just make a marinara instead.

[Anonymous No.16271905]

>>16267757
Oh my God I hate when fat people review chairs and clothes. Like holy shit it obviously doesn't run small, YOU RUN BIG

[Anonymous No.16271924]

>>16271892
Give me a dish and I'm sure I can find multiple reviews like this on any site

[Anonymous No.16271931]

>reviews are scourges of the Earth
There, fixed that for you. Any review for 1 or 5 stars is worthless 99% of the time and therefore should be ignored.

[Anonymous No.16271940]

>>16268643
>Haven't been there yet but it looks delicious!! (5 stars)
>great restaurant hi quality food and excellent wait staff HOWEVER........ all eight of the handicap spots were filled and i had to park in the back. I am a disabled vet and it's hard for me to walk that far. hope they add more handicap spots. (1 star)
>thanks (4 stars)
>couldn't figure out how to get in... ended up circling the block 4 times and just went to mcdonalds across the street (3 stars)

The star rating system is useless anyway. Once a location hits a certain number of 5 star ratings, they can coast even with shit service. It would take over 30 1 star ratings to lower 100 5 star ratings down to a 4 average, and most NPCs just assume 4+ = good.

[Anonymous No.16271975]

>>16271940
Ah yes the good old "HOWEVER" in all caps. Invalidates everything mentioned before.

[Anonymous No.16272030]

Is there anything worse than the faggots who do shit like this tho?
>ONE STAR - Didn't try yet. When I do I'll change my review. (Posted 3 years ago)

[Anonymous No.16272043]

>>16271924
salmon in a pan

[Anonymous No.16272048]

>>16272030
There isn't. It reeks of self-importance. "Hurr durr I'll see if you are worthy of a good review"

[Anonymous No.16272313]

Wow I was just making fun of this shit this morning with my gf. I was looking at instant pot recipes for dinner tonight and every other comment was
"my husband asked for more!"
"the hubby usually hates all these ingredients ( then why are you making this?) but he loved this"

[Anonymous No.16272323]

>>16263566
I'm a single man and have four pans and like six pots.

[Anonymous No.16272327]

>>16267770
Kids are fussy as fuck. A parent bitching that her kids didn't like something is meaningless because they rarely like anything new or different. The husband was probably just indifferent.

[Anonymous No.16272334]

>>16269093
>I would give him 10 stars if I could
>Still only gives him an 80% rating

[Anonymous No.16272358]

>>16271892
toast

[Anonymous No.16272372]

>>16271823
hey man, the sooner she kills off her own spawn the better.
fuck kids.

[Anonymous No.16272400]

>>16271823
Why the fuck can't women follow fucking instructions? They always do this. Find a recipe, read it, then improvise straight away. Just make it once properly then improvise. I will come across a recipe and make it a few times. When I can remember it and don't have to look it up anymore that's when I will tweak it, or make it without all the ingredients and improvise.0

[Anonymous No.16272404]

>>16271857
>Umami
>Honey
Wtf is going on here?

[Anonymous No.16272549]

>>16272400
Fucking hell. I swear even my mom tried stupid shit like that at one point and she was a great home cook. Saw some magazines on health and children in the early 2000's and she went crazy for two whole months.

[Anonymous No.16272786]

>>16265627
you know no one calls it that, right? that little sliver doesn't even exist to the other 49 states.

[Anonymous No.16272823]

>>16262358
>pic rel
Howdy newfriend! Here on 4chan, we say "pic related" not "picrel" or "pic rel" or "pic-rel." It's only a few more characters, so I'm sure you're able to handle typing out the whole word. Have fun and enjoy your stay!

[Anonymous No.16272862]

>>16272043
ok u got me

[Anonymous No.16272886]

>>16272823
Suck my cock nigger faggot.

[Anonymous No.16272905]

>>16272886
Posting a handful of crossboarding retards being retarded in the past does not excuse your behavior of being retarded.
If you want to be retarded, try other sites that are more suited for your level of discussion, such as gaia.

[Anonymous No.16272938]

>>16272905
Different anon here, you're the retarded one buddy. Pic rel: (you).

[Anonymous No.16273028]

>this recipe for stroganoff turned out really well!
>we were out of paprika so we substituted with cumin also since we didn't have any beef we used ground chuck
>we then realized that we had forgotten to buy egg noodles and decided to use tortilla chips instead
>overall the beef stroganoff turned out really well!

[Anonymous No.16273040]

>>16272905
you are embarrassing yourself anon

[Anonymous No.16273063]

>>16269521
We're not discussing meal reviews, but recipe reviews.

Still it's true, a review of a fish dish from someone that doesn't like fish doesn't mean shit.

[Anonymous No.16273088]

>>16273040
>>16272938
Different anon here, you faggots are retarded. Also stop samefagging

[Anonymous No.16273205]

>>16262336
>search for a recipe, any recipe
>find one that looks promising
>click on the hyperlink
>too late, I realize the website is called trishaswholesomehearth.blogspot.com
>250,000 words of banal woman gibberish besiege my eyes as I scroll in vain to find the actual recipe

[Anonymous No.16273225]

>>16273205
This.

[Anonymous No.16273247]

>>16268418
>wait, I was supposed to drain the pasta before adding ingredients?!? How was I supposed to k ow this?! Not everyone is a professional chef! 1 star

[Anonymous No.16273261]

>>16262336
as much as you'll always find stupid karens posting on recipe sites it is good to see some kind of feedback from someone who actually attempted the recipe. otherwise you have to accept that it's an actual worthwhile recipe until you find out otherwise. not like you can tell it's shit just from the text