/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.16235992]

Have you ever had prison/fail food?

How was it?

[Anonymous No.16235994]

>>16235992
*jail

[Anonymous No.16236003]

>>16235992
>>16235994
Fail.

[Anonymous No.16236005]

>>16235992
wing ching ning pon yu

[Anonymous No.16236007]

Once a policeman gave me a sandwich in the drunk tank. It was alright

[Anonymous No.16236008]

>>16235994
You failed bro

[Anonymous No.16236015]

I think they put some kind of drug in the water

[Anonymous No.16236032]

honestly i swear to God it was the same vendor as my public elementary school. square pizzas and watery sides of canned corn, "smokies" with a single tortilla, those little burritos with the yellow brown industrial paste inside, pressed chicken patty sandwiches, etc.

[Anonymous No.16236034]

>>16236015
Yes when I did time in prison they were putting battery acid in my food in order to turn me into a robot I had to remove at least twelve microtransistors from my arms under the cover of dark while the guards shouted at me telling me to kill myself. I am still being targeted in this cyborg reclamation program and the guards still stalk me outside my house and break into my home to put more battery acid in my food. I subsist only on raw rice now and I also practice meditation in order to attune with the machine spirity and kill him. I feel powerful every day

[Anonymous No.16236042]

>>16236032
Home of the free indeed

[Anonymous No.16236051]

>>16236034
I was just talking about some sort of laxative but okay.

[Anonymous No.16236059]

>>16236034
shouted at me telling me to kill myself
we're all doing that now too

[Anonymous No.16236060]

Eggo waffles with some weird sugar free syrup that tasted like pure Splenda and Sunny D to drink. Only one guy in the jail wanted to eat it, is other 5 guys gave us all his portions. I got bonded out shortly after.

[Anonymous No.16236064]

>>16236042
>it's another "zoomer whines about his school lunch" post
Go to jail and cry more.

[Anonymous No.16236067]

>>16236059
You can't fool me mutant

[Anonymous No.16236083]

>>16235992
Nope. Never did shit, like shooting around, uses drugs like it was toothpaste, no adicction and
pro: im not an American. So no jail. Everything is fine ^^ pro-plus: im German, if I go to jail I'm writing a book and become the new leader of my folk. Everything is fine - again.

[Anonymous No.16236086]

>>16236083
>I'm German
I'd rather go to jail for life than be that

[Anonymous No.16236093]

>>16235992
I learned if you're going to get arrested do it in a nice part of town.
The county jail in the rich areas is generally better cleaned, and has better food.

>>16236032
You got lucky. Where I live they give you literal slop.

[Anonymous No.16236098]

>>16236064
I've eaten this exact meal before, and it's really not all that bad if you're smart enough to buy salt, and pepper from the commissary.
It's the "nutriloaf" that is inedible.

[Anonymous No.16236113]

>>16236098
What’d you do time for

[Anonymous No.16236116]

>>16236098
>he doesn't fill an empty Bob Barker bottle with soup packets and water to make a "hot sauce"
NGMI

[Anonymous No.16236149]

>>16235992
Tasted creamy and salted

[Anonymous No.16236156]

>>16236113
Indecent sexual contact with a minor

[Anonymous No.16236166]

>>16236156

[Anonymous No.16236192]

>>16236113
I used to like to get really drunk, and cause trouble.

[Anonymous No.16236203]

>>16236192
So you admit to having a small penis huh?

[Anonymous No.16236205]

>>16236086
Hrhr... Yeah.. Go get some phenta and get jailed lifetime if don't pay tickets in time.. Or hey or get your little kids shot in kindergarden, lose your home cause even your dentist want x-k bucks cause a single tooth. And don't forgive the daily shot of niggers, that's a pro for you, isn't it? Oh and education... I see u learned to write... Niiiice bro, top level american. You can write AND eat 10000 kk at the same time. Thanks cartman, don't forget to hail the flag bevore fapping. And again: you can write AND read, nice dude, u have to be some of the 2percent of the amis out there.

[Anonymous No.16236211]

>>16235992

Yes its really dumb stuff like cooking ramen in a hot pot, then you add stuff like tuna and hot cheeto dust to give it flavor. In prison you eat 3 times more sodium probably

[Anonymous No.16236224]

>>16236015
It’s called fluoride

[Anonymous No.16236231]

>>16235992

My jail gave us a buffet once a day. Food was crap like mac n cheese, bean stew, fried Chinese rice, cheese burgers, and hot dogs. All u can eat.

[Anonymous No.16236251]

>>16236211
Our commie ran out of all ramen flavors except chicken and chili one time. Stayed that way for almost a month. Instead of cancelling orders they just sent everybody chicken and chili instead of what they ordered. I ate 25 chicken ramens in a week.

[Anonymous No.16236263]

>>16236203
It's unspectacularly average. Sorry to disapoint.

[Anonymous No.16236266]

>>16236231
Buffet as in not serve though, right?

[Anonymous No.16236271]

>>16236266
*As in not *self*-serve, I meant

[Anonymous No.16236288]

>>16236251
There was a week when everyone in my pod who ordered potato chips all got jalapeno flavor. Literally ANY flavor, but that was like gold for a week.

[Anonymous No.16236308]

>>16236266
>>16236271
Buffet style typically implies it's self serve.

[Anonymous No.16236310]

>>16236288
I remember one week they doubled up on everybody's order and the day it came in was a massive celebration. Then they charged everyone for the extra and didn't send commie the next week and people were scrounging for soup packets. I was the poor faggot on the block who was just in for a bench warrant, but I ate good then peaced out before I had to pay of debts.

[Anonymous No.16236347]

>>16236308
Isn't that dangerous letting cons dish their own food?

[Anonymous No.16236403]

>>16236347
It's dangerous letting them have access to weights too, but they let them do it anyway.

[Anonymous No.16236489]

>>16236308
>>16236266
>Buffet style typically implies it's self serve.

No corona changed all that. for example Cici's pizza currently has their food behind plastic windows now, and you have to ask them what you want. At another buffet in my town, self-serve but you need a new glove and wear a mask each time u grab the food. Jail buffet sounds cool but its like the same stuff every single day.

[Anonymous No.16236511]

pretty fucking good actually

there wa sa burrito option

[Anonymous No.16236527]

So basically if I'm desperate and hungry, just get a arrested. Noted.

[Anonymous No.16236552]

prisoners should only have bread and water.

[Anonymous No.16236556]

>>16236552
>be land of the free
>largest prison population in the world
>"MUH PRISONS AREN'T ENOUGH TO KEEP ME AND MY TRAILER SAFE"

[Anonymous No.16236591]

>>16236556
most amer*cans go to prison once in their lives, they have more prison culture than Russia lol

[Anonymous No.16236601]

>>16236591
Never been to prison or jail and if anyone tries it. We're going to have a shoot out.
>suicide by cop

[Anonymous No.16236610]

>>16236156

Did you do it though?

[Anonymous No.16236640]

>>16236042
>Berg lettuce

[Anonymous No.16236648]

>>16236205
I thought Germans were supposed to be smart. Can anyone translate this to freedom speech?

[Anonymous No.16236655]

>>16235992
I used to work as a prison guard in my state, and the sloppa they served the inmates was actually not that bad as far as prison food goes. It was like the equivalent of what an elementary school student would eat but slightly worse.

All of it was soy based, however, so after a while the inmates would start getting bitch tits and shit bodies if they ate the shit 3 times a day, every day.

[Anonymous No.16236751]

>>16236655

Is it true guards in the women prisons have fun with them?

[Anonymous No.16236912]

>>16236205

[Anonymous No.16236921]

>>16235992
No, but i hear it’s much better than prison sex

[Anonymous No.16236937]

>>16235992
Yeah, in public school. You know it's the same company, right?

[Anonymous No.16236944]

>>16236032
The vendor is called National Food Group and you are absolutely correct

[Anonymous No.16236955]

>>16236552
Is it weird that I really wanna take a huge bite of that loaf?

[Anonymous No.16236961]

>>16236601
Based

[Anonymous No.16236977]

>>16236751
is it true women exist?

[Anonymous No.16237006]

>>16236977

So, yes? I knew. They probably get to strip search them and everything.

[Anonymous No.16237069]

>>16236655
>t was like the equivalent of what an elementary school student would eat but slightly worse.
Same vendor.

[Anonymous No.16237105]

I've never had prison food, but I have done a lengthy stint in a jail. The food was of the low quality you would expect/has been mentioned here. The thing was that jail life was so simultaneously soul-numbing and nightmarish that the food was a welcome reprieve and actually quite enjoyable. It wasn't the "3 hots and a cot" security blanket thing; it was simply the opportunity to taste something. Though the people in there who were in for much longer than I was grew to hate it, and I can certainly understand why.

I've known a number of people who have been to prison. From what I hear, the daily meals were the same date. But I have heard of some truly creative recipes that people have come up with considering their limited resources: those being whatever they can snuggle out of the cafeteria or purchase at the commissary. I knew a guy that would autistically spin jars of peanut butter on the ground to whip it, take bread and jelly out of the cafeteria, then process them all into some kind of makeshift strawberry shortcake roll. It actually sounded really good. More aren't coming to mind right now, but if you attend an NA meeting and talk to somebody with bad tattoos, they can probably give you some more prison recipes.

[Anonymous No.16237159]

>>16236032
>not getting free cheese sticks from the lunch lady

[Anonymous No.16237169]

>>16237105
please try remember more id like to hear some jail recipes

[Anonymous No.16237210]

>>16236751
It's happened, but it's usually the other way around. Female COs tend to fuck around with male inmates and get caught.

Women's prison is awful in its own way because you're dealing with ugly, butch-type bitches who will try to fling their bloody tampons at guards.

[Anonymous No.16237218]

>>16237169
I don't think the details are going to come to mind. I got out of all that a long time ago. I know that ramen is used to make all kinds of sweet and savory dishes. Corn chips as well. And there is of course fermenting fruit into wine/aperitif/whatever. And getting assraped, shooting up heroin/smoking weed even though you're in a high security institution. If you search, you'll get more info than I can provide.

>>16236032
They put salt peter in the food. It's an open secret. They've been doing it forever. They give it to kids in schools and summer camps.

[Anonymous No.16237242]

>>16236552
Who literally gets gravy on their food loaf?

[Anonymous No.16237322]

I

>>16236648
True. Lets say there's a country voting a racist billionaire for president with the ability to atomic bombs.. .. (hypothetical spoken...) that country should be nuked... Silly idiots..? Don't you think so? That's ridiculous... Wouldn't be happen in the laaand of theee........

[Anonymous No.16237346]

>>16237322
Are you just drunk or a week into some other hard drug bender?

[Anonymous No.16237357]

>>16237322
Are all germans schizos?

[Anonymous No.16237366]

I was in the county jail drunk tank for a day. Fried rice with chicken for lunch, and a side of canned mandarin oranges, dinner was spaghetti with meat sauce, “garic bread” aka toast with butter and garlic powder, and canned green beans.

They gave me a lot of food, it wasn’t bad just very bland. I assume prison food is probably worse.

[Anonymous No.16237384]

>>16236648
If you've ever had to deal with German engineering, you'd realize they're a bunch of fuckin retards

[Anonymous No.16237393]

>>16237357
Think of it this way, anon. Both Communism and National Socialism came from Germany. All the good Germans left for America in the 17 and 1800s. The only ones left are insane.

[Anonymous No.16237407]

>>16236655
>actually not that bad as far as prison food goes.
"as far as prison food goes" includes actual torture through intentionally disgusting food, so.

[Anonymous No.16237491]

>>16236205
Based schizo Deutsch

[Anonymous No.16237533]

>>16236156
Based

[Anonymous No.16237559]

>>16236156

[Anonymous No.16237654]

>>16236156
This guy knows what's up

[Anonymous No.16237843]

Yes

[Anonymous No.16238640]

>>16235992
I made this prison ramen last night

[Anonymous No.16238730]

I was only there for 24 hours but my dining experience was as follows:
>4 pieces of bologna
>2 pieces of American cheese
>4 pieces of bread
>2 mustard packets
>2 sandwich cookies
>6 fl oz carton of "orange juice" or "grape juice"
They called these sack lunches and that was my lunch and dinner for day 1
Breakfast:
>Instant grits
>Scrambled egg
>1 piece of toast
> 6 fl oz carton of "orange juice"
>1 packet each of salt, pepper, and sugar
I had no idea what the sugar was for until I saw all the darkies mixing it into their grits

[Anonymous No.16238755]

>>16235992
No, and I pride myself on that.

[Anonymous No.16238759]

>>16236610
Not him, but there aren't any guilty men in prison.

[Anonymous No.16238765]

>>16235992
I was in the county jail for three days. Breakfast was always the same: some cheerios, a carton of milk, a piece of coffee/yellow cake and a packet of apple jelly.
The lunch and dinner were a little more varied: chicken or bologna patty with two pieces of bread or shredded potatoes, two hot dogs with two pieces of bread, two tortillas with taco stuff (ground beef, boiled beans, rice, salsa and lettuce), some salad mix from the bag with dressing and a piece of the same cake again. Oh and always a packet of orange or grape flavored juice powder you would mix with water in your plastic cup. Overall not too bad just bland, the rice/beans/potatoes were completely unseasoned, not even salted.

[Anonymous No.16238769]

>>16237384

mid 90's BMW 3 series?

[Anonymous No.16238771]

>>16236042
>fruit cocktail
>mixed vegetables
>salad
>burger
>milk(?)
Looks fine to me nutritionally speaking, but milk doesn't come in bags in the US.

[Anonymous No.16238788]

>>16236591
>3%
>most
ok, chang

[Anonymous No.16238791]

Did 8 months in jail and the food wasn’t bad.