/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16222939]

Shoot me with your best recipe

They told me this is the place where la creme de la creme of the chefs around the world discuss cooking and food, and I expect nothing less than perfection!

I they will not please me, I will hon hon hon at your dish and write a bad critique about you. No one will ever want to eat at your place!

[Anonymous No.16222943]

your ass
my cock
do the math

[Anonymous No.16222958]

I once cut up a handful of very sweet grapes and tossed them with finely chopped cilantro, let it sit for like 10 minutes and it was delicious

stuff that down your faggot ass gullet you piece of shit

[Anonymous No.16222989]

>>16222939
take a glass of water
add more water
I guarantee you'll be refreshed

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223018]

>>16222943
4 hon out of 5
homsexual intercourse is so 80's.
Threesome is the nouvelle cuisine today
You need to compliment with a bit of "your mother"


>>16222958
3 hon out of 5
You could have just washed your grape and skipped the water

Pretty tastelet from you, Ànòn

>>16222989
3 hon
good but not impressed

[Anonymous No.16223043]

Recipes? I just throw together whatever I have in the fridge and cupboard to make some supreme sloppa

[Anonymous No.16223089]

>>16222939
Sourdough bread, the good shit.
Mayo. Preferably homemade. No sweet shit.
Tabasco
Mix the mayo and tabasco, put a nice but not to generous amount on the both slices.
Enjoy.

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223134]

>>16223089
That would work as a nice amuse bouche for my restaurant, served separately with a shrimp or tuna on top of the slices

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223144]

>>16223134
shrimp tartare of course

[Anonymous No.16223153]

GARUM
A shit ton of it.

[Anonymous No.16223160]

>>16223134
>>16223144
Sounds good honestly.

[Anonymous No.16223176]

>>16222939
>Tuna
>A couple table spoons of Duke's mayonnaise
>Extra sharp white cheddar
>Smoked paprika
>Cayenne pepper powder
>Worcestershire sauce
Microwave for about a minute and eat with chips, or warm on some bread via toasting in a pan for a melt. Not fancy but it's fast and easy.

[Anonymous No.16223201]

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223218]

>>16223160
Of course, I'm a professional critic
I watched every episode of every national edition of masterchef!

>>16223176
2/5 hon - can be improved
- make your own mayo
- no cheese with fish
- no cooking
It's too similar to previous recipe

>>16223201
> not inhaling all the smoke to fill your lungs with a whole turkey in a second
started good, but ended bad

[Anonymous No.16223228]

Made pasta primavera. I don’t have a pic of the finished product, but here’s what went into the pasta right before I put it in. Nice summertime meal.

[Anonymous No.16223229]

>>16223218
>Of course, I'm a professional critic
>I watched every episode of every national edition of masterchef
Fuck why did I laugh at this imagining it being recited by a stereotypical Maximillian Pegasus flamboyant type

[Anonymous No.16223250]

Cheese, Mayo, and Tomato (Roma) salad.
Seasoned with a light amount of Black Pepper.

[Anonymous No.16223253]

https://www.4channel.org/rules#global13
>Do not use avatars or attach signatures to your posts.

[Anonymous No.16223257]

>>16223218
>no cheese with fish
Normally I would agree but in this case it doesn't really apply. Maybe that's just my tastes but to me it's fine. Like a tuna melt. You can absolutely not cook it I just like it warmed like a chicken dip.

[Anonymous No.16223261]

>>16223253
>rulecucking in a meme thread

[Anonymous No.16223262]

Cookie de la Americana. I bake the cookie, add a light dusting of chocolate powder and chocolate chips, some sugar for flavor, a pinch of chocolate, and then a dash of sugar and chocolate.
and viola, a delicious cookie.

[Anonymous No.16223281]

Sometimes I just eat a bowl of wheat germ with milk.

[Anonymous No.16223288]

>>16223218
>no cheese with fish
Never had anchovies on pizza? Or fucking Ceasar Salad with parm? You don't know shit, btw I prefer white anchovies they have a cleaner fishier taste with less saltiness

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223308]

>>16223228
Tres bien anon!
- marinate the tomatoes in evoo, salt and few drops of vinegar for 10 min in the fridge. Optionally add thinly sliced onions, after lettin them rest in water for arount 10/20 min

- don't use raw lemon juice, it's almost never a good choice for a dish. But finish the with a pinch of grated lemon zest (make sure the zest is edible)

- I would never cut the basil with knife, but tear it with hands

- Don't know what that cheese is, but I would use littler cube of parmesan

Optionally add good black olives and finish the dish with a little bit of olive oil

You can add/substitute onion with garlic, make sure to marinade it if you want to use it raw, and eliminate the center part of the garlic


>>16223288
Anchovies are an exception, but if you talk about fresh anchovies that holds.
Still anchovies works better withouth cheese and tomatoes.

What really works with anchovies is raw butter

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223318]

>>16223308
> Still anchovies works better withouth cheese and tomatoes.
*Works better without cheese but only tomatoes (in pizza)

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223363]

>>16223228
remember, when you use raw tomatoes in recipe make sure to season them, unless they comes from your garden or it's thei season, they tend to be bland and leafy

- try using cherry tomatoes, they're littler but more sweet

If you want to really level up the recipe, lightly (not fully) dry cherry tomatoes, they remain juicy and become even sweeter

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223378]

>>16223257
I thought you meant fresh tuna. Otherwise it's ok to use fish

[Anonymous No.16223401]

>>16223218
I just realized the scene in ratatouille where the critic loves the dish is a way to say critics are idiots who rate based on subjective qualities and fond memories

[Anonymous No.16223415]

>>16223308
>marinate the tomatoes
They get mushy if you put salt on them. Primavera is basically a hyper fresh garden salad. The lemon juice works to cut the acidity of the tomatoes. The basil was very gentle cut using the rolled leaf method so there’s no residue on the cutting board. No other additions though. People use primavera as a salad and it’s not supposed to be that way. It was finished with evoo though.

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223446]

>>16223415
> They get mushy if you put salt on them.
I meant season them, not marinate my bad.
salt and evoo and put them in the fridge they will remain hard.

> The lemon juice works to cut the acidity of the tomatoes
You don't cut acidity with an acid. the soft cheese (i suppose that it's the sweeter kind) cuts the acidity of the tomato, tigheter with the basil
Other than that fresh lemon juice is *almost never* an option carbs. The rind has all the oils you need to fresh the dish withouth putting some acid substance

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223503]

>>16223415
You can use lemon juice (but cooked) with pasta but you need to use egg pasta or buckwheat pasta to balance the acidity. Also butter is recommended and some herbs to fill the flavour, like thyme

[Anonymous No.16223514]

>>16223446
It cuts the acidity because citric acid causes your stomach to create antacids. That’s why antacid tablets come in citric acid formulations.

[Anonymous No.16223653]

>>16223378
Certainly not, canned/packaged.

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223666]

>>16223514
That happens in your stomach, not in your mouth. And your stomach doesn't have taste bud.
Also majority of antiacids are made with bicarbonates which are alkaline

[Anonymous No.16223680]

>>16223218
Hey chef speaking of masterchef I've made ice cream for my desert tonight so please judge favorably!

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223684]

>>16223680
ice cream is nice. How do you made it?

[Anonymous No.16223710]

>>16223308
>anchovies works better withouth cheese and tomatoes
Ehhhhhhhhhh... yeah I don't know about that.

[Anonymous No.16223730]

>>16222939
Your mother's cooking.

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223737]

>>16223710
looks like shit honestly.
I don't even see the anchovies, maybe the black bowl could be anchovies paste

1. Those are not fresh anchovies
2. ceasar is vile (last pic)

[Anonymous No.16223749]

>>16223737
>doesn't like ceasar
>has opinions surrounding this
>expects them to be relevant
That pic is literally the best Ceasar made on the planet. You can not like a dish but after that you're just being a tastelet.

[Anonymous No.16223751]

>>16223684
It's mainly a bunch of whipped cream, half and half, some sugar and a little bit of vanilla extract for taste. It's piss easy to make and the only real difficulty is waiting however long you need for it to freeze all the way. I'm considering splurging on an ice cream maker to do it all for me but I don't think I'll use it enough to justify having it.

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223773]

>>16223749
>>doesn't like ceasar
no restaurant worth its salt will serve that, except from Bottura

> That pic is literally the best Ceasar made on the planet.
So the best whocares sauce on the planet that has the same color and consistency of vomit

It's like making the best mayonese in the world, it's not that big achievement

>>16223751
> It's piss easy to make and the only real difficulty is waiting however long you need for it to freeze all the way.
You need an ice cream maker anon. If you don't move constantly the mix your ice crystals will be too big for a nice ice cream, there are no shortcut

[Anonymous No.16223780]

>>16223773
>personal preferences are facts
I fucking hate tastelets.

[Anonymous No.16223794]

>2lb ground beef
>3 tomatoes, diced
>large can tomato sauce
>1 and 1/2 large yellow onions, chopped
>6 orange habaneros, chopped
>black beans
>pinto beans
>chili powder
>garlic powder
>ground cayenne, optional
>red pepper flakes, optional
Brown meat with onion
Prepare 1-2 lb of mixed beans
Add meat, onion, and beans to slow cooker with other ingredients
Put in powders and flakes to taste, adjusting as need be
Cook until done

How's my basic bitch spicy chili, boss? I believe it captures a rustic "down home" vibe that appeals to the masses.

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223832]

>>16223780
> thinking cuisine is subjective
It's not, like music, cuisine has it's grammar, it's an absolutely objective art with some subjective component

A leaf of what looks like a roman lettuce or some sort of cabbage leaves with a gloridied mayo that looks like someone barfed yellow cheddar on top is not a dish

>>16223794
it's chili

[Anton Ego !uYpioXqcns No.16223847]

>>16223794
excuse moi, forgot to review.

1/5 hon.
basic chili, will not serve in my restaurant, but will surely in my bistrot

[Anonymous No.16224178]

>>16222939
Home and pasture raised duck breast with perfectly dried and scored skin pan seared in rendered duck fat, skin crispy breast cooked medium rare with a homemade plum glaze from homegrown verjuice and plum paste (olive oil, ginger, and coriander is not home grown but carefully sourced, perhaps next year I will grow my own ginger)

Side of garden vegetables depending on season. Right now would be right at the tail end of some nice purple asparagus steamed and then caramelized in duck fat. Topped with freshly ground sea salt and black pepper.

With a side salad from the garden. A tiny bit of mustard greens (they are a bit peppery), tennis ball lettuce, borage, and young lambs quarter. Topped with some green onion and finely diced young rhubarb stalks. with a fine balsamic vinaigrette and the same olive oil used in the glaze.

I don't know much about wine but a nice dry red or even a plum wine might go well with the meal.

But actually? Fuck you. I don't want you here. I only cook for people I like.

[Anton ego No.16224326]

>>16224178
>Home and pasture raised duck breast with perfectly dried and scored skin pan seared in rendered duck fat, skin crispy breast cooked medium
A lot of words to say "cooking duck breast", are you trying to selling something to me?

>Side of garden vegetables depending on season. Right now would be right at the tail end of some nice purple asparagus steamed and then caramelized in duck fat
Ruining asparagus. Asparagus tops don't need any boil, only the second thirds of the asparagus need boiling.

>With a side salad from the garden. A tiny bit of mustard greens (they are a bit peppery), tennis ball lettuce, borage, and young lambs quarter. Topped with some green onion and finely diced young rhubarb stalks.
Too many vegetables, too much confusion

3/5 hon
- plum glaze
- plum paste
- plum wine
- plum everything
- balsamic vinegar

Too many plums and too many dark ingredients
Overall try hard dish with no sensitivity at all

I have spoken

[Anonymous No.16224985]

Toasted sourdough topped with slices of Greek manouri cheese, fresh fig slices, chopped walnuts and Aegean Thyme honey

[Anonymous No.16224999]

i like focaccia

[Anonymous No.16225027]

>>16223832
>music is an objective art
No

[Anonymous No.16225029]

>>16222939
>>16223018
>>16223134
>>16223218
>>16223847
>>16223773
>>16223847
>>16224326
There is no recipe.

[Anonymous No.16225084]

monsieur, please rate my sauce recipe.
>Small amount of honey
>Equal amount of chili garlic sauce (Huy Fong (rooster) brand)
>some minced garlic
>some grated ginger
>good amount of rice wine vinegar
>soy sauce to desired volume (ideal for dipping of course)
>sesame seeds

Any recommendations on how to improve my dumpling sauce?

[Anonymous No.16225127]

>>16222939
Rice, stewed cut-up apples with caramelized sugar and cinnamon with vanilla pudding. May be layered if the apples are grated, otherwise I prefer it mixed.

[Anonymous No.16225157]

Sliced mushrooms, chopped leek, some garlic. Stock and cream to make it into a sauce. Served with pasta and grilled bread drizzled in olive oil and rubbed with garlic.
Red wine to enjoy with, if the food doesn't make the day good enough.
That's my plan for today at least.

Leftover wine will go for slow cooked beef tomorrow, and if there's more left, risotto on the next day.

[Anonymous No.16225332]

>>16222939
Very good idea for a thread, Anton. This is unexpected good content on /ck/
Pic related is not my recipe, but an anon's who I think did a good job. Tried it a week ago and it was lovely.

[Anonymous No.16225440]

>>16222939
CHEESE ON TORTILLA
MICROWAVE FOR 30 SECONDS

[Anton ego No.16226347]

Remember to post pics of your recipe if you have them

[Anonymous No.16226480]

>>16222939
homemade sausage gravy slathered on top of poppin fresh buttermilk biscuits
wa la

[Anonymous No.16226491]

>>16226347
i would but its on my ph*ne and probably has enough exif data to dox me to hell and back

[Anonymous No.16226538]

>>16223134
Why do French people actually look like this

[Anonymous No.16227313]

>>16222939
Here

[Anonymous No.16227319]

>>16225084
Not op but deffos trying this

[Anonymous No.16227492]

>>16222939
PUSSY JUICE

[Anonymous No.16227591]

>>16223134
Wtf, I never realized before but could anton eggo be Colettes dad???
Look at their eyes, hair color and personalities wtfwtfwtf

[Anonymous No.16227606]

>>16227313
Rate my dessert too

[Anonymous No.16227720]

>>16223832
>cuisine has it's grammar
doesnt mean its not subjective. The grammar itself changes overtime, its not a fixed construct. This goes for basically all art forms.

[Anonymous No.16227742]

>>16227606
rrat

[Anonymous No.16227763]

>>16225084
stealing this

[Anonymous No.16227833]

>>16223794
u can use any meat for chili too I feel is worth mentioning. Chicken Chili, with added cream, is really good

[Anonymous No.16227842]

>>16222939
Don't have recipes, but ingredients. And half arsed instructions. Get ready!

>beef and pork shoulder, zucchini, carrot, garlic, pickled pepperoni, potato, oregano, salt, pepper, olive oil, kebab skewer, tomato sauce pic related, pan and oven to 250C.

And whoever is facepalming right now, this jar sauce is the shit. Tomato acid sweet overkill. Also I don't have access to a stove right now so fuck you. I am cooking in an oven. Shutup.

It would be great if you can marinade the meat first. You don't have to i guess just season it. Now we go and brown seasoned potato, carrot, garlic and zucchini mix inside an oiled pan in the oven. Dice 'em slice 'em i don't care.

While veggies are browning prepare the kebabs, one piece of meat one pickled pepperoni. You can do it without the skewers just remember to put pepperoni and meat very close together.
When you can smell that the browning is done, take the pan and drop the sauce on it. Repeat with the kebab just loosely sitting ontop of the sauce.
Oven again until meat is done. Yes I would say that's pretty much what I ate yesterday. Have fun Anon.

[Anonymous No.16227953]

>>16227313
>>16227606
>Based department?
>Yes, I would like to book a call for rat friend.
>He's very based indeed.

[Anonymous No.16228021]

>>16222939
*pushes gun into your cheek*
*pulls trigger and shatters your teeth*
*cuts off your fingers with tree loppers*
*puts your severed fingers into your mouth*
*puts gun between your eyes*
Just kidding, Pierre.
*throatfucks you with barrel of gun while fingers are spilling out of your mouth*
HOW'S IT TASTE, FROG? HOW'S IT FUCKING TASTE? SWALLOW THIS YOU SCUM.
*pulls trigger so that each bullet goes right down your french gullet into your stomach until the mag is empty*
*watch the light leave your soulless Fr-nch eyes*

Everything personnel.

[Anonymous No.16228034]

>>16228021
Lé seethê

[Anonymous No.16228050]

>>16228034
Le Muslim

[Anonymous No.16228189]

creme fraiche

[Anonymous No.16228501]

Someone told you to find the best recipes ever in a random internet forum and you believed them?

[Anonymous No.16229037]

>>16222939
Super easy lazy soup:

1 can chicken and rice soup
1 can Rotel (Hot)
1 can ranch style beans (with jalapeño)
1 can creamed corn
4-6 oz. pre-cooked chicken (leftovers are best, prepackaged or canned if you don’t have any)

Mix everything in a pot and heat on medium-high stirring occasionally until bubbling, then turn down to a simmer. Let cook until the chicken breaks down ( about 30 min). Serves 4 (or 1 fatty with plenty of leftovers). Can add cheese, hot sauce, sour cream, tortilla or corn chips, jalapeños, or green onions to taste. Delicious, easy, and all the sodium in fucking world.

[Anonymous No.16229175]

>>16222939
Waow... Alright. Why not?

noods - 3 cups 00 flour, 1.5 cup rice flour, 2 eggs, 1 cup water. 1-2 tbsp neutral oil. Mix thoroughly, rest, roll thinly and slice, ideally with a machine.

sauce - 6 roma tomatoes (blended), 1 small tin tomato paste, 1 tin coconut milk, 3-6 cloves garlic (smashed), a fistful of thai basil (sliced/shredded/torn), 3 oz sambuca, 3-6 green bird's eye peppers (sliced), 1" knob of frozen ginger (grated), 1 small-to-medium onion, diced. 1 splash sesame oil, ~2 tbsp neutral or olive oil, salt and pepper, a whack of shrimp (peeled). 1 tsp shrimp paste. Lime wedges and basil flowers (if they came with the basil) for side and garnish.

Prep things, fry off onion, ginger and hot pepper, finish with shrimp paste and tomato paste, fry until fragrant, add sambuca, reduce heat, add tomato puree and coconut milk, heavy simmer until reduced by half.

Start salted pasta water on high

In frying pan, fry peeled shrimp until pink - add garlic and salt, add to sauce. Wilt basil in pan, add to sauce with a small splash of sesame oil.

Boil pasta for 3-4 minutes (until done), dress, serve. Lime quarter/sixth on the side, basil flowers on top. Serves 4 hungry people, 6 normies, or 8 skellies. Goes well with gin and tonics and pale lagers.

[Anonymous No.16229194]

>>16222939
I would love it if this type of thread could actually be successful, but the fraction of /ck/ that actually cooks, much less cooks well, is vanishingly small. Anyway, this is a good recipe: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016135-rishia-zimmerns-chicken-with-shallots
My only modifications are that I usually halve or quarter the shallots (depending on their size) and I substitute tomato paste instead of cherry tomatoes just because I don't think that actual tomatoes work in terms of the dish's texture.

[Anonymous No.16229349]

>>16223018
The word is complement you fucking moron.