/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.16172484]

How soon should you bring home a date to try your cooking? What are the best first meals to impress?

[Anonymous No.16172490]

>>16172484
Imagine actually have a disgusting date. At ALL times she walks around with poop inside her. At ALL times shit is festering and rotting away in her gut. At ALL times the inside of her is filled with literal reeking shit, and her ass has a scent of pure shit.
You are literally having to care for a walking poop bag, and don't get me started on morning breath and vaginal secretions.
But just imagine all the poops inside of women. Imagine that they fart at least 14 times a day, having disgusting shit air exiting their reeking girl holes. Between the butt cheeks is always the lignering scent of vile putrid shit. And you have to take this poop bag back to your place and serve her food like a poop cuck. You are cucked by a walking poop, a bag of feces, that smells like shit from her asshole. Cuck of the highest order.
And she comes over to your place, spends the night, and then has the audacity to have a disgusting, vile shit in your bathroom, stinking your whole place up with her disgusting poop smell. And you're supposed to care for this impudent poop bag, and invite it back. Men are so weak. Lying next to a bag of poop every night, who farts in her sleep and wakes up with disgusting breath in your face. Boggles the mind

[Anonymous No.16172500]

>>16172490
Sounds great

[Anonymous No.16172627]

...... none of you have ever brought home a date, have you?

[Anonymous No.16172636]

>>16172627
not in a state where they could chew food

[Anonymous No.16172644]

>>16172484
>anime poster

I’m sure your body pillow will be receptive whenever you make a move :3

[Anonymous No.16172659]

>>16172644
anime website seethe harder newfag

[Anonymous No.16172661]

>>16172644

[Anonymous No.16172665]

>>16172644
Projection much? Answer the question or don't post

[Anonymous No.16172671]

>>16172659
>>16172661

[Anonymous No.16172673]

dumb an*me poster,
bring her back as soon as you want and make something light that won't make you both fart. i usually go with something stupid easy like a fish with lemon herbs and greens and a crisp white to pair

[Anonymous No.16172677]

>>16172673
>bring her back as soon as you want and make something light that won't make you both fart
Yeah, but how do I make something that only makes her fart?

[Anonymous No.16172679]

>>16172677
lots of carbs and cheese

[Anonymous No.16172680]

>>16172484
Oh man I brought here home and cooked for her the second date to impress her, just to be told she hates pasta. But she still lets me cook non pasta items for her

[Anonymous No.16172684]

Eggs is always a good thing to offer girls you bring home.


...they just have to eat all of them

[Anonymous No.16172689]

>>16172484
I would make something simple. It's all about the taste your date has at the end of the day. Don't serve something spicy for someone you can't take spice. Worry more about desserts since that's where it would lie for me.

[Anonymous No.16172691]

>>16172677
Easy fuckin peasy. Build your own burritos. You cook the meat and prep everything and do the assembling together and teach her how to wrap them right.

[Anonymous No.16172697]

>>16172484
My go-to was portobello enchiladas on the third date

[Anonymous No.16172701]

>>16172691
god, imagine the smeltz of brappeth

[Anonymous No.16172706]

I stayed over at a girl's place once, she had some pineapple chicken curry she'd made earlier and I had some for breakfast, it was bomb af

[Anonymous No.16172712]

>>16172484
There's no reason a first date can't be at your home, just don't be a fucking creep and hopefully you've made it known you fancy yourself a decent cook. If you don't give off a serial killer or rapist vibe it isn't an issue; otherwise just do the normal sit-down restaurant deal, and offer to do the cooking next time.

To impress, do less. You don't need some extravagant meal. If she likes steak, maybe do au poivre with asparagus and a potato. Or fish and chips. Or order a goddamn pizza and watch a movie. Just don't be fucking creepy.

[Anonymous No.16172715]

>>16172706
also we had only hung out once before that. I stayed over because I was in the city and the trains had stopped running. didn't want to take a lyft home

[Anonymous No.16172718]

>>16172484
ASAP, and I'd go with coffee and ice cream

[Anonymous No.16172860]

>>16172484
take them to applebee's then take them back to your place for a deep anal pounding

[Anonymous No.16173017]

>>16172484
>How soon should you bring home a date to try your cooking? What are the best first meals?
I don't think it really matters when you cook for them. Most of the time I imagine your SO will just be excited to eat whatever you make/provide. That is as long as you don't suck ass at cooking and provide good dishes. To impress girls and look "manly" I recommend anything grilled. (Ex. Meats, Steaks, Seafood) paired with reds etc... rice pilafs and or grilled veggies just do simple stuff well. What might make you stand out is desserts with chocolates. My girlfriend likes Milk/Dark chocolate and peanut butter so, I have a reese's peanut butter cookie and brownie thing I do for her with ice cream on rare occasions. For trying to impress dudes. Personally I'm a simple pizza and drinks finger foods kinda guy. So, my girlfriend surprised me and went to a class to learn to make good pizza from scratch. She also makes some of my guilty pleasures like soft pretzels and etc. But, in our first dates she had me try Korean dishes like Bulgogi and ox bone stew. Which I wasn't too keen on at first. However, they were really simple, memorable, and tasty to me.

>tldr: Ideally keep it tasty and simple op, ask what they like beforehand, and desserts/cultural dishes can leave good impressions.

[Anonymous No.16173090]

>>16172860
>not taking them to taco bell before an anal pounding so you can ensure big shit and cum farts afterward

[Anonymous No.16173209]

>>16172659
Nope, this is a cooking forum tranime incel.

>>16172661
Nope, this is a cooking forum tranime incel.

>>16172665
>>16172627
You’re a fiesty little faggot, aren’t you OP?

We know you don’t have a date, people who save anime images to their PC never do.

[Anonymous No.16173873]

>>16172671
Nice self portrait

[Anonymous No.16173889]

>>16172484
Before you start dating. I wouldn't even attempt dating before the Stockholm Syndrome is well into its third week.

[Anonymous No.16173950]

>>16172712
you're going to trip almost every woman's ASD unless you're fucking loaded or a 10/10 yourself trying that

[Anonymous No.16173960]

>>16172659
No matter how many times you anime incel NPCs trot this line out doesn't make it any less cringe, gay, faggoty and suicide worthy. KYS

[Anonymous No.16174090]

>>16172680
What kind of creature doesn't like pasta?
Whatever it is, it ain't human.

[Anonymous No.16174110]

do not cook japanese food and hide your spunk-stained anime memorabilia before she comes over. make a non-messy pasta, a pretty salad (for visuals or some shit) , and some kind of bread

[Anonymous No.16174117]

>>16172671
>>16173209
>>16173960
lurk for two more years before posting again

[Anonymous No.16174123]

>>16172661
>>>/a/