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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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File: 55 KB, 634x351, markwiensCurry-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15992927 No.15992927 [Reply] [Original]

i want to be a food vlogger. how do i get started?

>> No.15992933

>>15992927
you need a catch phrase

>> No.15992936

>>15992927
Get fatter and asshole wider than Nikocado

>> No.15993039

>>15992927
Make youtube videos where you review fast food while sitting in the front seat of your car. Those are cool.

>> No.15993045

>>15992927
Eat food.
Video it.
Post it.
???
Profit

>> No.15993277

do you have no shame and are willing to set up a tripod with your camera recording you while you act like a fag in a public area? food vloggers like that tend to easily hit the million views mark

>> No.15993291

>>15993045
forgot to add "buy a few million subscribers"

>> No.15993294

You probably should decide, do you want to be an authentic blogger who speaks from the heart and improvises? Do you want to be a plastic clickbait blogger who chops and edits every video into 1 second cuts to grab attention deficit sufferers? Something else?

>> No.15993304

>>15992927
Step 1: Become a massive faggot

>> No.15993313

>>15993304
i think he already has that one down, anon

>> No.15993406
File: 449 KB, 914x634, Fishgina.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15993406

If I had time I'd be get a 4chan pass and market myself as the /ck/ boards tripfag youtube just to piss you all the fuck off.

>> No.15993417

>>15993406
But you won't because you're a seething tranny who's late for dilation

>> No.15993430

>>15993417
no really it's because I don't have the time otherwise I'd do it because it'd be fucking funny as hell watching you spergs seethe.

>> No.15993432

OP here. thanks for the advice.

>> No.15993447

>>15993430
Why don't you have time?
Do you have Nikocados onlyfans?

>> No.15993478

>>15993447
I have maybe 10 hours left for side projects and already got some stuff I want to do. I'm positive I could out cringe Mark on the regular.

>> No.15993684

>>15992927
what is that.. like a critic?

>> No.15994476

Make like 10 phony accounts and random comment on your videos
>"you're mum will die in her sleep tonight if you don't watch the next video"
People love reading comments and eventually will bump into this

>> No.15994630

>>15992927
chemical castration and lobotomy

>> No.15994647

>>15993478
>being capable of this
>WANTING to do this
>just for lulz
lol if you do it you'll just bring more normies in and raise the seethe levels to new heights.

>> No.15995652

He used to be so hot when he was young

>> No.15995655

>>15995652
>tranny hands typed this

>> No.15995756

is there a food vlogger that just hates everything they eat?
if not, im going to do that. that will be my shtick.
ill be super picky about everything, complain about the dumbest things, etc.
its like that episode of the soimpsons when homer became a food journalist.

my catchphrase would be something like "the only good thing about this meal is the enjoyment i get from throwing it into the trash". then it will be like a POV shot from in the trash with the food falling on the camera which ends the video.

>> No.15995763

>>15995756
>I will be a jew
why would I need to see a video for that?

>> No.15996048

>>15992927
Go to foreign countries and obnoxiously over stress your MMMMM noises in front of your patrons so they think you're gay and condescending.

>> No.15996582

>>15992927
Suck my cock on camera

>> No.15996900
File: 195 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault (11).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15996900

This guy for both quality and quantity

>> No.15996905

>>15996900
For no explicable reason, I am compelled to see a real life version of the Eye of Sauron. I am told you have photos of this, anon.

>> No.15997026 [DELETED] 

>>15992933
Have a niggerlicious day

>> No.15997100

>>15993039
Make youtube videos where you review fast food while sitting in the closed trunk of your car. Those are cooler.

>> No.15997666

>>15996900
Why is he crying in all screenshots?

>> No.15997929

>>15997666
It scares children, which makes them click it out of curiosity, which youtube promotes.

>> No.15998694
File: 68 KB, 479x359, stock faggot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15998694

>>15994647
Goddamn this could be good. I can afford a real ad budget too. Every damn episode
>encourage everyone to post here
>find me on my FAVORITE internet message board /ck/
>under my tripcode SoylentStream
>everyone should get a pass and get a tripcode too!
>let's chat!
man... the lulz is so... tempting. I'd get doxxed and murdered but not before at least a few dozen of you ragequit into suicide.

>> No.15999680
File: 463 KB, 1440x890, Screenshot_20210203-004652_YouTube.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15999680

>>15992927
Exaggerate as much as possible
Use as much click bait as possible
Super close-up goofy face thumbnail

>> No.15999751
File: 674 KB, 474x498, dancingpepe.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15999751

>>15997100

>> No.16000424
File: 1.72 MB, 426x240, Sichuan Braised Chinese Bamboo Rat (Rhizomys).webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
16000424

What I really want to see is a full cycle food blogger
So they only eat that particular food then they shit it out on their backyard or preferably in front of the restaurant.
From there they meticulously analyse the stool, perhaps setup a time lapse camera to watch it decompose also

>> No.16000810

>>15992927
>Record yourself eating 10k cal of fast food
>Upload said recording
>repeat

>> No.16001305

>>15992936
>wider
Did you mean to say taller or longer?
But, yes. OP needs a gimmick or self-caused body deformity. It's the only way to make it now.

>> No.16001340

VIDEO EDIT OVERREACT
Keep it Disney+ type g rated

>> No.16001887

>>15992927
Have a niche. There's already too many of those. You need something to stand out.