/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.15944705]

are prison burritos actually good? how do prisoners get swole off of shit like this?

[Anonymous No.15944714]

>>15944705
Prison food is mostly carbs, very little protein. They get jacked because they have nothing to do and work out 8 hours a day.
The downside is they will never have sex with men that look like pic related

[Anonymous No.15944715]

[Anonymous No.15944726]

>>15944705
It’s the cum that’s gets them swoll

[Anonymous No.15944897]

>>15944705
They get swole because they can literally lift weights all day if they want to

[Anonymous No.15944904]

>>15944705
No. And working kitchen and stealing protein. My boy was doing a few for heroin, and he was stuffing turkey in his waistband.

[Anonymous No.15944917]

>>15944897
This. When you've got fuck else to do all day, why not? As for protein issues, there's thriving economy based on ramen/cigs/toiletries/nonperishables, you can trade for what you need in macronutrients

[Anonymous No.15944941]

Best way to get head

[Anonymous No.15944964]

>>15944715
What is the purpose of this ritual? None of the components need cooked, and the nutrient content would remain unchanged.

[Anonymous No.15944971]

>>15944714
>>15944897
>>15944904
>>15944917
You're ignorant. It's the roids of course.

[Anonymous No.15944976]

>>15944971
>i dont know how anabolic steroids work

[Anonymous No.15944989]

>>15944715
He looks like he's never used a pair of hands before. It's fucking bothering me

[Anonymous No.15944994]

>>15944964
man what a faggot post

[Anonymous No.15944995]

>>15944964
It's to get everything to stick together into a loaf

[Anonymous No.15944997]

>>15944976
What are you implying? There's studies where people do no exercise on steroids and gain a ton of muscle

[Anonymous No.15945106]

>>15944715
i still can't believe they linked up

[Anonymous No.15945181]

>>15944715
his knife skills are triggering me.

[Anonymous No.15946653]

>>15944997
keep in mind the people on that study also had a job wife and priorities. when you're locked up in the hole for god knows how many years surrounded by only men wanting to kill you your test starts naturally boosting like crazy. maximum security It's practically a warzone, combine that with food, a proper sleep regimen (curfew) and bodyweight exercise non stop will turn anyone into a big monster. i knew a guy who went in soft babyface came out a complete meathead full jawline attitude and everything
also you think out of all the things inmates are gonna smuggle its fucking roids?? that shit is hard to sell let alone use in prison. if youre gonna smuggle shit in just fucking smuggle cigs or porn because you can move that fast and it makes money

[Anonymous No.15946661]

prisoners should only get water and bread

local bakers could maybe also donate the bread which they didn't sell before throwing it away

[Anonymous No.15946673]

>>15946661
prisoners should just be walled in and only given seeds. Let them try and figure out how to grow shit on their own

[Anonymous No.15946690]

>>15946673
also a good idea

fuck criminals and also fuck that company that supports felons

[Anonymous No.15946950]

>>15946690
fuck the system for being the way it is, people go in and if they come out, they're even worse than before. prison should be a rehabilitating place where people better themselves, not a shithole where you become a shittier person and then end up eventually back in

[Anonymous No.15946979]

>>15944705
I can't imagine it's better than just having the ingredients separately.

[Anonymous No.15946992]

>>15944715
The way he keeps poking at it and moving it around with those long negro fingers really bothers me for some reason.
It looks genuinely inhuman in its mannerisms.

>>15946661
I made that once. If you're genuinely hungry because you work for a living it's perfectly fine. If you just sit around in a cell all day I can see how you'd at least want the food to be the day's highlight.

[Anonymous No.15946994]

>>15946950
>prison should be a rehabilitating place where people better themselves, not a shithole where you become a shittier person and then end up eventually back in
indeed, much cheaper to turn a criminal into a non criminal than to have him relapse and come back into prison over and over again

[Anonymous No.15946998]

>>15946673
Imagine being treated like this because you had an ounce in your pocket or downloaded a movie.

[Anonymous No.15947034]

>>15944976
How do they work then??

[Anonymous No.15947067]

>>15944964
Yes I too consume sandwiches by eating each individual ingredient separately.
Also people who eat ramen noodles uncooked are fucking monsters.

[Anonymous No.15947070]

>>15947067
A sangewedge is usually a combination of ingredients that work together.
The sloppy mess in the OP is not.

[Anonymous No.15947216]

>>15946998
You should be arrested for being too boomer to use a paid VPN

[Anonymous No.15947244]

>>15946950
What happens when you put a bunch of criminals together? They teach each other to be better criminals.

If they had the ability to be better they would have done so.

[Anonymous No.15947250]

>>15944989
Hes not stealing anything so his hands arnt useful

[Anonymous No.15947259]

>>15944714
>The downside is they will never have sex with men that look like pic related
but men don't look like that girl anyway?

[Anonymous No.15947292]

>>15947216
he thinks his three-bucks-a-month VPN protects him from the fucking Feds.

[Anonymous No.15947314]

>>15944715
niggerhands are truly disgusting

[Anonymous No.15947362]

>>15946950

what about punishment for committing crimes
>>15946994

[Anonymous No.15947364]

>>15947292
They’re not sending the NSA to capture anime box set down loaders dumb nigger

[Anonymous No.15947370]

>>15944997
>studies
Ah, yes. The “science” of asking 1000 undergrads questions, forming a baseless assumption off the answers, and then applying to the other 320 million people in the country. Brilliant.

[Anonymous No.15947433]

>>15946950
>>15946994
>>15946998
>>15947244
>>15946661
>>15946673
fuck the prison system. criminals should be humanely executed or sent to work camps where they can give back to society. but having them just languish in confined spaces is just cruel,not to mention a waste of manpower and resources

[Anonymous No.15947450]

>>15947314
Not as disgusting aswhite hands. I can see every spec of fucking grime you fucking faggot

[Anonymous No.15947552]

>>15946994
>much cheaper to turn a criminal into a non criminal than to have him relapse and come back into prison over and over again
Yes, but where's the profit in that?

[Anonymous No.15948037]

>>15944705
The trick to getting swole is eating lots of food and working out lots. If you start going into stupid minute details without bothering working out lots, you're just a lazy fucker.

[Anonymous No.15948106]

>>15946950
nah they can rot fuck off. you're not getting free education and job training because you robbed a grandma at gunpoint. don't care if it makes you worse. your ass should be put down if commit a violent felony get out and do it again

[Anonymous No.15948141]

>>15948037
>eat a bunch
>do 9000 pushups, situps, pullups and winds sprints until your body gives out
>get huge
you're right, unless youre some bodybuilding faggot or have horrendous genetics planning all that shit is just cope for being a lazy queer looking for shortcuts

[Anonymous No.15948151]

>>15947433
I think theres something to that. Just euthanize violent offenders and send nonviolent ones to those prison camps they have in scandinavia where they are taught skills and work for the local town or whatever.

[Anonymous No.15948170]

>carceral cuisine thread
For me, it's Kali Muscle
https://youtu.be/ooGLzqDGd0w

[Anonymous No.15948659]

>>15944715
>water in the microwave to boil it

[Anonymous No.15948764]

>>15946998
The fuck kind of pockets do you have that can hold an ounce?

[Anonymous No.15948771]

>>15948764
I used to go to school with a wigger.
The pockets in his trousers could comfortable hold a 2-liter bottle of cola.

I think he's kind of a famous rapper in Denmark now.

[Anonymous No.15948778]

>>15944715
>cheetos
>pickles
>hot sauce
>ramen seasoning
>AND adds salt
mirin that sodium intake

[Anonymous No.15948783]

>>15948771
How horrifying.

[Anonymous No.15948804]

>>15947314
Everything about that webm is disgusting

[Anonymous No.15948810]

>>15947433
I did some community service at a recycling centre because of a drug possession charge.
Got me out of the house, got me some exercise, some social interaction...
I wasn't a total mess so I didn't really need those things forced on me but I can't imagine that tossing someone in jail for a month could possibly be better rehabilitation than that.

I'm fully on board with just putting a bullet in spree shooters and child rapers, but for milder crimes I think it's only damaging to society to lock them up instead of trying to put them on the right path.

[Anonymous No.15948823]

>>15947370
You are thinking of psychology. Medical science is real

[Anonymous No.15948826]

>>15944705
Protein needs are way overstated in broscience.

[Anonymous No.15948863]

>>15944705
I've been thinking about this myself. 200g of protein alone is a pain in the ass to get without eating yourself sick. I doubt prisons let you have seconds let alone thirds and fourths. Maybe they just bully the other inmates into giving their food?

[Anonymous No.15948931]

>>15948826
t. bitchboi

[Anonymous No.15948935]

>>15948863
They smuggle in roids

[Anonymous No.15948991]

>>15948810
>I'm fully on board with just putting a bullet in spree shooters and child rapers
You got my vote bud

[Anonymous No.15949016]

>>15948771
Lil Kleine?

[Anonymous No.15949077]

>>15944705
Looks more like a tamale than a burrito.

[Anonymous No.15949438]

enjoy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooGLzqDGd0w

[Anonymous No.15949452]

>>15948826
DYEL DETECTED

[Anonymous No.15949457]

>>15944989
He's probably been high every day since he was 11. His brain is vaguely connected slush.

[Anonymous No.15949460]

>>15946994
>much cheaper
>>15947552
THERE IT IS lol

[Anonymous No.15949516]

>>15944715
>hot water

[Anonymous No.15949519]

>>15946950
i actually agree with this and i think that society would be better if we just executed any violent criminals we catch and put the rest in a decent prison

[Anonymous No.15949562]

>>15949519
Yeah, lets turn apprehending a potentially violent criminal into a literal life or death situation, no exceptions. What could possibly go wrong.

[Anonymous No.15949577]

>>15944997
shut up shut UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

if i see somebody incorrectly reference this study again im gonna lose it. no, yoy wont GAIN MUSCLE without exercise on roids. you will gain LEAN MASS which is basically water weight and increased glycogen stores in the muscles; lean mass is anything thats NOT FAT.

fuck you, dipshit retard

[Anonymous No.15949629]

>>15944715
>>15944705
It's basically a tamale.

[Anonymous No.15949655]

>>15948170
God I wish I was his life term prison cell mate

[Anonymous No.15949656]

criminals are not people like us
they are animals, treat them as such

[Anonymous No.15949657]

>>15945106
Nah, they can keep it bro

[Anonymous No.15949717]

i like the taste of them but i wouldn't say "hey bro try this you'll love it"

my go to is:
ramen
peperami
heat wave Doritos
hot sauce
1 quarter of the packet seasoning

[Anonymous No.15949757]

>>15944715
Hmm, you could make a healthier version of this with just plain noodles and more veggies. It's basically a frito pie but cooked.

[Anonymous No.15950145]

Literally all you need to get jacked is calories and carbs while working out nonstop. Protein is secondary and for faggots.

[Anonymous No.15950204]

>>15949656
What about if a regular guy was charged with manslaughter with car but it was an honest accident but still his fault?

[Anonymous No.15951651]

>>15947450
Your skin looks like poop lol

[Anonymous No.15951782]

>>15944705

The stress of a prison environment results in an imbalance of hormones which enables roughly 18% more muscle growth.

You don't NEED an excessive amount of protein, it just helps gains come faster.

[Anonymous No.15952164]

>>15944964
It's prison improvisation. Prison food is the same food three times a day, every day. Eventually you'll do anything for some variety and creative license, even if that variety comes in the form of an abomination of junk food from the commissary boiled together.

[Anonymous No.15952721]

>>15951782
Do to get ripped I should just commit a crime, spend a couple months inside and save money on a gym membership?

[Anonymous No.15952757]

>>15944715
>Niggers are out here apeing cooking channels teaching people how to make prison ramen online
This is funnier than it should be

[Anonymous No.15952803]

>>15944705
When I did a short stint in county jail I ate better than I do in real life. Three square meals a day, at least had some serving of fruit, vegetable, and meat/egg daily

Now, I eat one meal a day, usually a speed meal

[Anonymous No.15952849]

>>15952803
So what'd you do? Robbery? Murder?

[Anonymous No.15952875]

>>15952849
>county jail
>So what'd you do?
your mother

[Anonymous No.15952879]

>>15944715
america has ceased to the """ritual of the nigger""
it is honestly very sad

[Anonymous No.15952900]

>>15952875
I don't know what a county jail is. Is it just a place for minor crimes like stealing all the cutlery from a restaurant and knocking out a bartender?

[Anonymous No.15952927]

>>15952900
more or less. it's more about length of stay usually. generally if it's less than 12 sometimes up to 18 months in some places you stay in jail. also if you're awaiting trial regardless of crime you stay in jail until the trial is over. felons and misdemeanors are almost always seperated and generally within those two they're at least further seperated often.

vast majority of places the only time you got to worry about rubbing shoulders with Tyrone the triple murderer if you ripped the tag off the mattress is when you have a court day and everyone travels together

[Anonymous No.15953440]

>>15952927
So that's the difference between jaim and prison? I'n britbong so don't know how different it is to americans. Most experience with jail I have is getting put in a cell overnight because I threw a bottle of coke at some guy in a bar. Managed to knock out one of his front teeth but he started it

[Anonymous No.15953518]

>>15953440
Yes jail is for minor crimes and disturbances, getting sent to the drunk tank for the night, people in custody awaiting trial etc. Prison is for actual convicts and felons. Tt's where you will be rubbing shoulders and be on the lookout for your ass while surrounded by Bubba and Cletus prison gangs,

[Anonymous No.15953666]

Thoughts on a "Prison food" food-chain?

[Anonymous No.15953690]

>>15944715
What did I just look at?

[Anonymous No.15954029]

They’re called spreads homie. Now spread em

[Anonymous No.15954042]

>>15946653
You’ve never been locked up. The more max security the more chill it is. People are there for years and it’s their home. Jail and short term stays are where the danger lies. All kinds of people mixed up, and no one respects each other as you don’t need to spend years with someone. Jail is scary prison is scary Bc of how fast the time goes just reading and hanging with the boys.

[Anonymous No.15954069]

>>15948659
Americans really do this.

[Anonymous No.15954121]

I literally thought the exact reverse.The food must be enticing in hospital and jail cause theirs a certain amount of rank just for being in their.You have hypochondriacs and kleptomaniacs that keep getting thrown under lock and key.
I don't know about the bull-pen ,what cookery books they use of any but some borstal and juvenile detention centres use some kind of craft to keep felons reoffending

[Anonymous No.15954123]

>>15948810
Agreed. I’m ok with labor camp type things to build infrastructure as long as drug possession is not a crime and it’s only for minor offenses or genuine “I got emotional and fucked up” sort of things.

[Anonymous No.15954675]

the best prison post-workout snack is a whole dry ramen brick with peanut butter slathered on top...don't knock it till you try it

[Anonymous No.15954683]

>>15954123
they do that anyway they pick up trash on the highways and mow lawns and shit

[Anonymous No.15954695]

>>15948810
prison has fucking school and work and vocational opportunities out the ass. you can take correspondence college courses. most niggers just want to eat chips and watch TV all day though

[Anonymous No.15954717]

>>15951782
>You don't NEED an excessive amount of protein, it just helps gains come faster.
This. Protein is amazing for muscle repair, but even without astronomical amounts you'll repair eventually anyway.

[Anonymous No.15954726]

>>15953440
>Most experience with jail I have is getting put in a cell overnight because I threw a bottle of coke at some guy in a bar. Managed to knock out one of his front teeth but he started it
Kek

[Anonymous No.15954730]

>>15953666
If you're not black it's cultural appropriation.

[Anonymous No.15954735]

>>15944715
>po it out da bag
>k now po it back in da bag

[Anonymous No.15954761]

>>15944715
Did he just say "it don mattah" or something else to that effect to every single ingredient?

[Anonymous No.15954763]

>>15948151
Great idea. And we can think of other minor ways to extend their prison sentences or ways to keep them in the prison system so we have a perpetual underclass of cheap labour, or chlabes for shmort. I heard about someone who did something like this, and now she's vice president of her country!

[Anonymous No.15955339]

>>15947433
edgy

[Anonymous No.15955359]

>>15947433
If you just annually gave them half the money it costs to incarcerate them and set them free, they would be earning more money than most of us and no longer have to do crimes. Plus they would be contributing to the economy when they spend the money. The only bad thing is prison workers would lose their jobs.

[Anonymous No.15955399]

>>15948106
yeah but what about people who're in for drugs?

[Anonymous No.15955419]

>>15947552
Ex CCA nurse here ama

[Anonymous No.15955454]

>>15948170
Is this what Reddit means when they talk about 'Internalized Racism'? Because holy shit lmao

[Anonymous No.15955588]

>>15944917
Did you learn this from a podcast

[Anonymous No.15955750]

>>15944715
crazy that we pretend theyre equal to us

[Anonymous No.15955755]

>>15948764
a oz. isn't even that big, what are you wearing skinny jeans?

[Anonymous No.15956355]

>>15955419
how is it comparable to other nursing jobs

[Anonymous No.15956369]

>>15944715
Nigga that's just a gas station tamale with 5000mg of sodium.

[Anonymous No.15956377]

>>15956355
It's not terrible on night shift. Day shift fucking sucks though. 24 hours a day inmates trying to get into medical to try to look at a woman for a minute and jerk off. The money wasn't terrible but I got caught in a riot lockdown for 72 hours and that was about it for me.

[Anonymous No.15956389]

>>15955359
>no longer have to do crimes
I got some bad news for you, sunshine. 55% of people in prison are there for violent crimes. If you think a murderer should go free because giving them money will make them no longer want to murder, I honestly hope you get murdered yourself.

Violent prisoners should only go free when they are able to restore the rights of the people they harmed and/or killed.

[Anonymous No.15956486]

>>15955359
Seems like that would create a perverse incentive to commit crimes, if the government started giving money to people to "keep them out of trouble". Likewise, lots of crimes have no economic motive behind them, like child molesters or serial murders, or even just random vandalism.