/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.15881364]

>live in rural upstate ny
>want to support local small farms
>also want higher quality non-pozzed meat/veggies that aren't pumped full of endocrine disruptors
>ordering food from a farm is the most cryptic thing imaginable
>can only buy meat in sizes of half cow or quarter cow (???)
>need an industrial deep freezer and a Google software engineer's salary to make it work
>farmer expects you to know precisely which cuts of meat you want for your ENTIRE half of a cow
>farm's website says come visit us in person - go there, no tresspassing signs everywhere, guard dogs barking at me as I drive up the driveway, yokel retard comes out on his porch with a shotgun and mean mugs me
>sometimes an email or phone number is listed that literally never get responded to
i learned that farmers are actually just incredibly entitled, difficult to work with faggots
all i want to do is give them money for the product that they bring to the market, why do they make it so impossibly hard?

[Anonymous No.15881370]

You're ordering from an industrial source you fucknugget, if you don't want half a cow and cant afford a chest freezer then find a reputable butcher instead and buy a few cuts.

[Anonymous No.15881372]

>>15881370
>Mom and Pop farm in the middle of nowhere Cazenovia NY with 3 swiss dairy cows and 1 pasture raised chicken
>industrial
try again Farmer Brown shill

[Anonymous No.15881373]

>>15881372
Those people wouldn't be selling you anything except maybe milk you cocksucking urbanite. Stop larping.

[Anonymous No.15881380]

>>15881373
I don't want to be a fag and literally call this farm out by name, but check out
>https://www.localharvest.org/syracuse-ny
Literally every small farm there that claims pasture raised small lot grass finished beef only sells half/quarter cows

[Anonymous No.15881381]

What the delicious child fuck are you talking about? I fucking live in PA. Just buy a half side of beef, get one or two 7sq ft $179.99 sams chesr freezers and there you go. All the preteen cunny you could ever want.

Stop trolling
Stop misusing the quote function
Fuck off in the mouth of a little girl.

[Anonymous No.15881387]

>>15881381
Oops *preteen delicious flat chest freezers

[Anonymous No.15881390]

>>15881380
They're farms you dumbass. You don't roll up to a strawberry farm and then complain the minimum order size is 5lb. It's not worth their time to deal with individuals, they would lose all profit from product loss. Just find a butcher and have him deal with it for you if you're so thick

[Anonymous No.15881395]

>>15881390
Are you fucked, man? You're telling me I should need to spent over a thousand bucks on half a fucking cow? I just want liver and bones ffs, but these faggots don't even offer that.
>muh butcher
i'm so tired of this meme
butcher shops don't exist anymore my man

[Anonymous No.15881399]

>>15881395
They don't offer it because they're a FARM not a BUTCHER. Go to a BUTCHER.

[Anonymous No.15881401]

>decide to contribute to a CSA (basically farm to table subscription service)
>get like 80 lbs of rotten vegetables dumped on my door step every week
>covered in pesticides and cow shit
>i paid $500 for this

yeah im thinkin this is a fuck farmers moment

[Anonymous No.15881402]

>>15881380
sounds like if you want to buy from them you'll have to buy the half/quarter and cut them up yourself.

That's not particularly hard you just need space and tools.

You will also still come in well under retail price if you just find someone else to cut it up for you.

I worked in a butcher shop as a teenager, we would do 4-5 pigs and 4-5 sides a beef in just a few hours in the morning, and that would be the meat we sold for the day.

[Anonymous No.15881403]

>>15881364
>>can only buy meat in sizes of half cow or quarter cow (???)
Yes, because they're small-time farmers and are looking to make their investment back wholesale instead of nickel and diming shit out, how awful of them.
>>need an industrial deep freezer and a Google software engineer's salary to make it work
Because youre buying half of a fucking cow dipshit. What, you think that shit's cheap, or is going to fit in your shitty minifridge? What kind of rural person DOESNT have a chest freezer?
>>farmer expects you to know precisely which cuts of meat you want for your ENTIRE half of a cow
How the fuck is he gonna know how you want your cow butchered if you dont tell him how you want it, numbnuts?
>>farm's website says come visit us in person - go there, no tresspassing signs everywhere, guard dogs barking at me as I drive up the driveway, yokel retard comes out on his porch with a shotgun and mean mugs me
Youre coming onto his property unannounced, what do you expect?
>>sometimes an email or phone number is listed that literally never get responded to
When you have a farm to run you have a lot of shit to deal with, and none of that includes catering to the whims of a dipshit city-slicker like yourself.
Christ you definitely live in an apartment.

[Anonymous No.15881406]

>>15881380
Buying from a farm has always been a half and quarter. Honestly most I've dealt with either expect you to know how to butcher it or will refer you to a butcher if you don't have one. It's a farm you're only going to be buying the whole animal, the half, or a quarter. they arent gonna shear off a couple steaks for some dumbass. They aren't large scale processing or storing em.

[Anonymous No.15881407]

>>15881395
holy shit faggot, you're fucking stupid.

there are butcher shops everywhere, shut up or stop being a fag.

[Anonymous No.15881409]

>>15881403
>Youre coming onto his property unannounced, what do you expect?
what a faggot excuse
these luke-warm IQ good ol boy jamokes will not respond to any sort of communication whatsoever, then claim "Come on down to the farm, bro!" and then treat you like an invader when you do
neck yourself cleetus

[Anonymous No.15881422]

>>15881409
Then clearly they don't want to be bothered by your retarded ass that clearly has no idea what the fuck he's doing.
You pulled up to some farmer's property unannounced and expected to be able to just buy a couple pounds of steak like its the fucking grocers.
Eat my ass kid, just stay in your shithole apartment.

[Anonymous No.15881427]

>>15881422
>Then clearly they don't want to be bothered by your retarded ass that clearly has no idea what the fuck he's doing.
How the fuck is one supposed to get in the know here if interacting with farmers is such a delicate fucking black hole? What a bunch of sensitive pansy faggots you lot are
Nobody cares if you wake up at 2 AM to shovel shit dude, there's no virtue in being a redneck moron. Just sell me a couple steaks.

[Anonymous No.15881429]

Children deserve to be fucked out of their brains.

[Anonymous No.15881432]

>>15881403
>need a google software engineer's salary

half a cow is like 1500 dollars you faggot. quit crying. it requires a little bit of saving and planning on an average salary, stop crying cunt.

[Anonymous No.15881441]

>>15881432
>dude please subsidize my retarded career choice by majorly overpaying for some subpar meme meat
>oh yeah d00d grassfed all the way! ignore the trenbolone injections though please thanks :^)

[Anonymous No.15881452]

>>15881364
Are there any farmers markets in your area? There are several near me and i’ve had good luck shopping at them.

[Anonymous No.15881466]

>>15881432
Shit man that's robbery

https://hmmeats.com/how-to-order-half-a-beef/

[Anonymous No.15881479]

>>15881427
>abloobloobloo why won't these complete strangers cater directly to my faggot desires >:<
>what do you MEAN I have to buy in bulk!
>how was I supposed to know that coming onto someone's property unannounced was a bad idea!
Youre legitimately fucking stupid. No wonder you live in the city, your ass would starve to death in a fucking corn field because you couldn't find a goddamn microwave.
Nobody cares that you got off your shift at the gas station and thought Jimbob a couple miles down the road would have a hamburger ready-made to sell your retarded ass.

[Anonymous No.15881490]

>>15881479
you're starting to draft, schizo
take ur meds bro

[Anonymous No.15881498]

Older kids have more relaxed sphincters.

[Anonymous No.15881501]

>>15881372
https://www.cazenoviafarmersmarket.com/

google is hard

[Anonymous No.15881531]

>>15881427
Based brain dead retard.

[Anonymous No.15881545]

>>15881364
Unless you can carve up a cow yourself, get your shit from a butcher who sources from these farms. Not that hard.

[Anonymous No.15881548]

>>15881490
>be a dipshit cityslicker
>point out youre a fucking moron
>"f-fuck, I just got btfo"
>uh
>uhhhh
>y-yeah, I'll call him a schizo and post a frog, hehe that'll show him
City niggers like you deserve to starve. How do you manage to feed yourself?
Oh wait, you tried to buy a single pound of steak from a farm, so you can't even do that lmao

[Anonymous No.15881563]

>>15881548
>hey man how should I go about buying meat from a farmer
>HAHAH FUCKING RETARD CIDIOT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW 2 FARMER
>haha yeah anyway man do I just go to their farm or...?
>DROP DEAD NIGGER HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA
ok schizomeister

[Anonymous No.15881577]

>>15881563
>t. Hasn't read a single helpful reply in this thread
Buying from a farm is like buying from a factory: it's bulk or nothing, and you need to know how to handle the bulk or you're not worth their time. Go to a butcher, or look for a farm that runs a butchery. They're not nearly as rare as you say.

[Anonymous No.15881654]

>>15881577
I fucking love the butchers in Little Mexicos.
Favorite story
>Be in Chicago
>Buddy and his wife want to try rabbit stew
>end up at a mexican butcher shop next door to forged IDs for sale with attached taqueria
>lively little dude skins the critter then and there.
>Do you want the fur?
>starts dancing the fur still attached to skull and singing "Do you want to take me home with you!? Do you want to take me home!?"
>Buddy's wife is freaking
>Buddy is pale as fuck
>I'm laughing and telling the guy to bag it.
Most the time it's just super cheap though.

[Anonymous No.15881658]

Just grow your own fucking vegetables faggot

[Anonymous No.15881667]

>>15881381
>>15881387
Why the sudden uptick in pedo-speak
Are the glowniggers really this desperate?
>>15881654
Anonymous is always the one that laughs at the grotesque

[Anonymous No.15881768]

>>15881654
I would've died goddamn, based butcher

[Anonymous No.15881790]

>>15881364
>farmers bad
>amazon wholefoods store good

[Anonymous No.15881805]

>>15881563
You didn't ask for advice though. Your entire OP post is you bitching about how youre an autistic retard and some farmers didnt want to put up with you. You then proceed to get your cringe whining called out, post frogs to cope, and continue to show yourself to be a completely inept cityboy. Not a single one of your posts is asking for advice- you were expecting asspats because thought you could just drive up to a random farmer you don't know and have him sell you a pound of steak.
Just stick to your microwave tendies, clearly they'd be trouble for you as well if heating instructions weren't on the packaging.

[Anonymous No.15881934]

>>15881364
>Local retard goes to the coca cola plant to buy a single soda and gets upset when they tell him to eat ass

[Anonymous No.15882011]

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a little spoon-feeding when buying meat from a farmer for the first time, since doing it like that has not been common for a long time now. The first time I ordered wholesale meat, I got walked through the process of choosing my cuts, as they told me what the options are. The first time I ever bought from a farm, it was just fresh produce and eggs. The farmer met me enthusiastically and took a break from his work, showed me his farm, told me all about his operation, let me try his ferments, and threw in some free stuff.

You just encountered either an asshole or a man in a foul mood. I do not think your experience is representative of small business heritage farms overall. Speaking of small, heritage, pasture farms, you have a lot of options. Vermont is right next door to you and it has a ton of small farms who you can buy from directly. If you're not satisfied with your local options, there are some pasture farms who will ship meat to you. White Oak Pastures in GA ships to the whole US via FedEx, and they have a truly impressive operation with lots of stuff to choose from.

If you would like to avoid wasting money when sourcing quality animal products you truly should invest in a chest freezer and plan to buy in bulk, as other anons have stated.