/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.15720780]

>I can't stand turkey, it's so dry and bland

[Anonymous No.15720782]

Rude, dumb, frogposting scum!

[Anonymous No.15720787]

>>15720782
>>>/s4s/

[Anonymous No.15720803]

>>15720780
That or wet and nasty. Fuck turkey, ham will rule the world

[Anonymous No.15720812]

>I don’t like a food
Have you ever considered not consuming said food, and understanding that different people enjoy different things?
I find that works well with things I don’t personally care for.

[Anonymous No.15720883]

>>15720780
Then thou and thine household shalt burn at the stake for this heresy!

[Anonymous No.15721769]

>>15720780
Turkey breast is without a doubt the most useless and insipid vegetable ever to have graced the earth with its worthlessness. Who on earth would ever willingly eat such a barren, tasteless, swelling pile of condensed string? In fact, if you were to raise a child on nothing but the disgusting protein powder eaten by weightlifters, then ask them to describe how they imagine meat to taste, they would probably describe turkey breast. It's a tragedy that every time I buy a turkey I have to buy two of those worthless lumps of stringified dust which people call "food" along with it. Honestly, I'm surprised my body even bothers to digest them at all. I would not be at all shocked to find two fully intact turkey breasts being squeezed out of my anus upon vising the toilet after my next Christmas dinner.

[Anonymous No.15721786]

>>15720780
You probably don't know how to cook it. What do you need help with? Have you tried it on the smoker?

[Anonymous No.15721808]

>>15720812
Manchild.

[Anonymous No.15721818]

>>15720782
that's cute

[Anonymous No.15721841]

>>15720812
>>15721786
Are you seriously too autistic to understand OP using a picture with an annoyed facial expression alongside a quoted line of text means OP is annoyed by people who say that line?

[Anonymous No.15721923]

>>15720883
based ouranposter

[Anonymous No.15721951]

>say I don't like something
>autistic drooling unemployed incel gets so triggered he feels the need to post it on 4chan to get validation from other social rejects and of course posts a frog

[Anonymous No.15722002]

>>15721786
>>15720812
Friendly reminder you need to lurk at least 2 years before posting lest you out yourself as a bumbling retard. Thanks!

[Anonymous No.15722070]

>>15722002
shut the fuck up OP

[Anonymous No.15722080]

>>15720780
>cook turkey poorly
>cry about it

[Anonymous No.15722094]

>>15721841
>>15722002
>>15722070
>>15722070
>>15722080
Are you seriously too dense to understand I'm doing a subtle troll by mocking your mock?

Now, what do you need help with

[Anonymous No.15722123]

>>15722094
Your trolling attempt was pretending you don't know how quoting works and responding to the OP like you thought the quoted text was his own opinion?

[Anonymous No.15722132]

>>15722094
>lol guys i was trolling you!
-1/10

[Anonymous No.15722214]

>>15722123
>>15722132
Go ahead don't believe me, I don't give a fuck!

[Anonymous No.15722225]

>>15720780
Agreed. Duck and geese are better.

[Anonymous No.15723080]

>>15722225
The one time I ate duck it was so soft and fatty it was really kind of off-putting. That was so many years ago though so maybe I should give it another go prepared some other way. I think it was Peking Duck? I do like venison quite a lot so I do think its worth exploring other wild game (elk and buffalo I've had as well).

[Anonymous No.15723092]

>>15721769
So what your saying is you don't know how to cook turkey? Gotcha thanks.

[Anonymous No.15723101]

>>15723080
Who hasn't had buffalo? It's not really considered wild game when it's farmed.

[Anonymous No.15723110]

>>15723092
Turkey breast is without a doubt the most useless and insipid vegetable ever to have graced the earth with its worthlessness. Who on earth would ever willingly eat such a barren, tasteless, swelling pile of condensed string? In fact, if you were to raise a child on nothing but the disgusting protein powder eaten by weightlifters, then ask them to describe how they imagine meat to taste, they would probably describe turkey breast. It's a tragedy that every time I buy a turkey I have to buy two of those worthless lumps of stringified dust which people call "food" along with it. Honestly, I'm surprised my body even bothers to digest them at all. I would not be at all shocked to find two fully intact turkey breasts being squeezed out of my anus upon vising the toilet after my next Christmas dinner.

[Anonymous No.15723174]

>>15723110
Christmas Eve, 2013.
I was alone as usual.
I was hungry after getting off work. I had three options: pick up a shitty pizza, eat some cold cereal at home, or swing through the Golden Arches. You all know what I had to do.
It was a holiday after all, so I decided I'd treat myself. No Dollar Menu shit this time (sorry Buffalo Ranch McChicken).
I decide to go inside for some reason, place is empty. The young hispanic girl at the register is pretty cute, nice change of pace. Merry Christmas to me, I thought.
Behind her, the menu caught my eye. Double Quarter Pounder had just gone out the window because there sat the BBQ-drenched sandwich of a better time.
"Welcome to McDonald's, what can I get for you sir?"....
(1)

[Anonymous No.15723179]

>>15723110
I look around, there's no other customers. The based black man is putting fries down. I am a king, this Christmas.
"Yes, hi, I'd like three McRib sandwiches, a large order of French Fries, a large eggnog shake, a bottled water, and four apple pies, please."
"Anything else?"
"Yes, actually. Add on your favorite items, money is no object. Tonight is Christmas Eve, and a meal with you is my present."
She laughs, such a bright smile, I can feel the snow melting off my duster.
"That's romantic, but I'm just 16, and don't have a break coming up anyway."
Ah, another time then, my dear. I wave it off, ask her to make it to-go with the excuse that I don't want to mess up the clean dining room, and wish her a Merry Christmas.

[Anonymous No.15723185]

>>15723110
The black man hands me my items as they come up, freshly-made. I thank him in turn and wish him a happy holiday. I tell him to protect little Rosalita there with everything he's got, and he laughs and promises to do so.
I leave $300 on the counter, as a gift.

I made my way through the blizzard then, my mind fixated on that holiday treat. '96 Explorer. Control-Trac. Heater on full blast, but before the heat is up again, I have that tangy sauce all over my face. There are onions on my collar. Salt and grease stains my face as tears fall. Sadness, and joy.
This McRib is so fleeting, I think as I unwrap the second one. Like Christmas joy, or Rosalita's smile, they will be gone again soon. We don't know when they will be back if ever, but we keep hoping.
Eggnog imitation and pickles is a better combination than you'd think. I toss back the fries, filling my empty Christmas with the salty goodness, but I still am empty.
As I dunk my apple pies into the shake, the heat kicks on. The shake becomes nice and soupy. Just my style.

[Anonymous No.15723193]

>>15723110
I flip the headlights on, and peer through the frosted window. The hispanic chick and black man are just hanging out, but I can see the joy of receiving a gift in their faces.
I could wipe my face before heading out, but to do so would be to wipe my memories of the McRib and thus my memories of the best Christmas ever.
As I toss my garbage out the window into the snowdrift, Feliz Navidad comes on the radio. This is a scene out of a holiday classic, I can feel it.
Prospero año y felizidad, huh? Rosalita loves this song I bet.
I shout out the open window at all who can hear "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Goodnight!" as I speed away from the BP and feel my AWD engage.
Whatever happens, I'm better prepared for it now.
That, my friends, is what the McRib means to me.

[Anonymous No.15724097]

sneed