/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.15670470]

The Queen of England is having dinner at your place. What do you serve?

[Anonymous No.15670494]

Peas and cum, my specialty.

[Anonymous No.15670498]

something classy and british, like
mushy peas with worcestershire sauce

seriously though, if the queen were to visit my house, id look at darren mcgradys videos on youtube (fat bloke who used to cook for the royal family) and pinch one of his recipes

[Anonymous No.15670499]

stargazey pie and faggots

[Anonymous No.15670509]

>>15670470

various poisons mined from the former colonies

[Anonymous No.15670512]

>>15670470
Coronation chicken aka cold chicken swimming in mayonnaise with curry powder.

[Anonymous No.15670519]

>>15670470
I'd have her suck my hard German cock

[Anonymous No.15670534]

>>15670470
i'd totally fuck the queen. no hesitation. gmilf/10
>American breakfast
>brunch at local coffee house
>desserts for dinner

[Anonymous No.15670540]

haggis

[Anonymous No.15670556]

>>15670470
A plate of lampreys of course

[Anonymous No.15670557]

>>15670470
Cyanide. Fuck nobles.

[Anonymous No.15670560]

>>15670509
based

[Anonymous No.15670572]

Ordering out for 'za & a 6er

[Anonymous No.15670599]

Four and twenty blackbirds,
Baked in a pie.

[Anonymous No.15670603]

>>15670470
I would kindly and apologetically inform her that my living space cannot properly or respectfully accomodate a royal, and recommend superior dining options.

[Anonymous No.15670609]

bitches love alfredo

[Anonymous No.15670690]

>>15670470
>The Queen of England is having dinner at your place. What do you serve?
She is well-known to be a simple eater, and creature of habit. You'll have to wow her with good gin and appetizers, because she will want a well cooked beef or game roast, great demi-glace kind of gravy, well done potatoes and fresh veggies. Slice of chocolate cake for dessert. Glass of champage at bedtime.
If you deviate from the classic English roast dinner? She's liable to think you used too much garlic, or fussed with something so she couldn't taste it well. Focus on things that are best when cooked to order or else miles ahead like your typical 15 person plan for Thanksgiving.
I'd be okay. I make a mean roast, sides, salads and desserts. If I could smoke a pork loin, or focus on some seafood.

[Anonymous No.15670759]

>>15670690
This man knows the Queen. To add onto the drinks aspect though, she also enjoys champagne with a shot of chartreuse and some maraschino added. She has some pretty strong tastes when it comes to alcohol.

[Anonymous No.15670784]

>>15670690
Actually you don't choose , her butler advises you.

She only drinks a double dubbonet and beefeater gin martini variant.

I served her three of those at lunch, she's a drinker

[Anonymous No.15670826]

>>15670470
Novichok.

[Anonymous No.15670828]

>>15670498
she'd recognize it

[Anonymous No.15670842]

Clotted cream because it's utterly disgusting

[Anonymous No.15670866]

>>15670509
>>15670560
cringe

[Anonymous No.15670880]

>>15670470
A knuckle sandwich

[Anonymous No.15670887]

A single bullet

[Anonymous No.15670889]

>>15670470
A nice spaghetti alfredo for me. And a turd for her.

[Anonymous No.15670903]

>>15670470
She's a provaxxer so I serve her a punch in the fucking face.

[Anonymous No.15671006]

"Come on in and have a seat."

[Anonymous No.15671008]

>>15670470
Curry

[Anonymous No.15671030]

>>15670470
try to poison this parasite whore

[Anonymous No.15671162]

>>15670470
Raped by a Muslim with a side of beatings and a rock to the back of the head for the main course.

[Anonymous No.15671166]

>>15671006
Lol. Their fingers are too fat with the gloves to operate that puny revolver.

[Anonymous No.15671172]

>>15670470
>What do you serve?
pic related, a meal usually reserved for jannies

[Anonymous No.15671173]

>>15670470
A large dinner of British beloved baked beans. And then my face for her to use as a toilet

[Anonymous No.15671181]

>>15670470
McDonalds.

[Anonymous No.15671183]

>>15671006
why does the IRA have such a comfy aesthetic?

[Anonymous No.15671579]

>>15670470
>The Queen of England is having dinner at your place. What do you serve?
greggs

[Anonymous No.15671584]

>>15670599
Based

[Anonymous No.15671587]

>>15670470
Adrenochrome.

[Anonymous No.15671597]

>>15670509
very based

[Anonymous No.15671602]

>>15670470
Hamberders

[Anonymous No.15671614]

>>15670470
Deep fried poos and wees.

[Anonymous No.15671683]

I dont know what lizards eat rats maybye?

[Anonymous No.15672326]

Bangers and Mash

Bet her and Philip would be more than happy to dig in to that.

[Anonymous No.15672381]

Bubble and Squeak.

[Anonymous No.15672387]

>>15670470
Whatever I'm eating for the evening, which could very well be tostadas, because I eat them about 4 times a week. As screwed up as the US is, I do not and probably will never understand the UKs obsession with the "royal family". They're just regular people that gamed the system, much like the rich in our country.

[Anonymous No.15672479]

>>15670470
what she and every other royalty deserve

[Anonymous No.15672507]

>>15670470

[Anonymous No.15672519]

>>15670599
Checked

[Anonymous No.15672819]

>>15670470
doesnt matter, i wouldnt be allowed to cook for her anyway.
only highly qualified certified chefs are allowed to cook for the royal family, and even then bodyguard taste testers come through just before serving and sample everything for poison.

[Anonymous No.15672933]

>>15670509
>>15670557
>>15670887
>>15671006
>>15671162
>>15671030
>>15672479
>t.

[Anonymous No.15672942]

>>15672387
It does help that she actually did shit in her youth. She helped out the army as an engineer in the world war despite her parents protest. People like Queen Elizabeth because she's just been an all round awesome gal for her entire life, not just because she's the Queen. Literally the kind of dress and accessories she wears to things are her throwing shade at people or saying she likes them - when Trump came to visit her, she wore a brooch that Obama gave her as a subtle "Fuck you I liked him more" (this kinda thing is partly because it wouldn't be a very "royal" thing to openly start cussing people out, unlike her kids she's actually a prim and proper lady of gone generation).
Iunno mate, she's just been both more down to earth and also more interesting than most other high profile people, even if her actual impact on the country now is basically just a tourist attraction. Rather her than corrupt American politicians who just want to make bank at the expense of their own people y'know?

Keeping it on topic with /ck/, I bet she'd fucking demolish those tostadas behind closed doors.

[Anonymous No.15672965]

>>15672942
Oops, I meant she was a mechanic - apparently she's still a fan of cars and shit to this day too. Though I can't imagine she gets much driving done at 94.

[Anonymous No.15673892]

>>15670470
Diced chicken
Diced rabbit
Diced beef liver
Diced lamb
White riced
Shredded cabbage

[Anonymous No.15673910]

>>15672479

the only correct answer

[Anonymous No.15673926]

>>15673892
>the long winded out of the blue explanations about the queen's corgies getting the shits from food
what a loveable fellow

[Anonymous No.15673939]

>>15670470

Fish and chips from the local chippy.

[Anonymous No.15673944]

>>15670828

>implying the average co/ck/ here could make it to the same quality and standard that a royal chef does such that the Queen would even recognise what the dish was meant to be

[Anonymous No.15674014]

>>15672933
t. *nglo

[Anonymous No.15674111]

>>15672933
Naw
Just 'ate monarchy
Simple as

[Anonymous No.15674343]

>>15670470
EAT ZE BUGS

[Anonymous No.15674434]

>>15670470
Either something super-British like Beef Wellington or something super-American like a Luther-burger

[Anonymous No.15674445]

>>15674434
Luther Burger

[Anonymous No.15674498]

whip up a plate of CTM and pour a nice glass of London dry

[Anonymous No.15674555]

Probably something simple so I don't fuck it up.
A nice shepard's pie and veg, probably.

[Anonymous No.15674560]

>>15670470
>What do you serve?
rat poison
extra strong

[Anonymous No.15674632]

>>15673892
This nigga is literally the only chef worth staring at YouTube for.
I especially love his little side-stories about how insanely based Prince Phillip is, bringing in stuff he killed/caught himself and wanting to do his own cooking and whatnot.

[Anonymous No.15674643]

>>15670470
Chicken parm

[Anonymous No.15674746]

I'd say listen here Lizzy, we don't recognize titles of nobility round here, but what we do recognize is the delicious taste of melted mozzarella and tomato sauce. She'd give me the ole "Oh, you! " and I'd whip up a delicious pizza for her and part way through dinner ask "so is it true Winston Churchill was a closeted homosexual" right when she's ready to swallow a bite so she does a bit of a choke/gag at the awkward and abrupt taboo topic.

[Anonymous No.15674958]

>>15670470
Arsenic.

[Anonymous No.15675032]

tea of course!???...then some cockmeat sandwhiches extra mayo.

[Anonymous No.15675191]

>>15670903
>being triggered by science
LMAO you fucking unimaginable loser.

[Anonymous No.15675288]

>>15670784
>ywn be out-drank by the Queen of England during a business lunch

[Anonymous No.15675304]

>>15671006
>>15671166
>>15671183

Wow Shamus, three handguns?

t. Ameri/k/a

[Anonymous No.15675311]

>>15672479
>monarch bad
>(((representatives))) that aren't held accountable good

[Anonymous No.15675387]

>>15675311
Represntativse are LITERALLY ACCOUNTABLE because they can be voted out, YOU FUCKING IDIOT

Monarchs are NOT accountable because they CAN'T be voted out

YOU FUCKING IDIOT

[Anonymous No.15675389]

>>15675311
>>15675387
*Representatives, of course

[Anonymous No.15675404]

>>15675387
>they are voted out
>except corrupt politicians who made it a career selling out their country
>at least with royalty, you place blame on the monarch
>reps just watch out for each other first.

[Anonymous No.15675435]

>>15675404
Representatives absolutely CAN be, and ARE, voted out.

Just because YOU'RE seething about certain representatives doesn't mean other people are. Otherwise those representatives would be voted out.

>at least with royalty, you place blame on the monarch
But what accountability is there? You can't vote the monarch out. So all you can do is dislike the monarchy, but you have no control over it.

[Anonymous No.15675489]

>>15670470
A fucking properly greasy cheeseburger with bacon. Unironically. Welcome to America your majesty.

[Anonymous No.15675944]

>>15675489
We have German-origin burgers in Britain too.

[Anonymous No.15676303]

Braps

[Anonymous No.15676788]

>>15675311
>>15675404

>"this system without proper accountability is bad!"
>defends even more outdated system with even less accountability

watch out, galaxy brain over here

give them both the chop

[Anonymous No.15676825]

dont have much food atm, probalby some spaghetti with garlic or something im poor

[Anonymous No.15676828]

>>15672507
That last picture bro. Lovely bit of business there m8, just lovely

[Anonymous No.15676835]

>>15672933
t. pr*testant

[Anonymous No.15676837]

>>15675387
Yikes. Please remember to take your meds anon

[Anonymous No.15676843]

>>15675387
>can be voted out
lol ok

[Anonymous No.15676955]

>>15676837
>>15676843
>seething this much because politicians can be voted out
Fucking morons.

[Anonymous No.15677011]

>>15676955
Just don’t want you to have a sperg-out frien. Your mum has already got the brochures for that sheltered accommodation, don’t force her hand.

[Anonymous No.15677031]

>>15677011
>seething this much
You're a fucking idiot.

[Anonymous No.15677169]

>>15672933
absolutely based
fuck republicans

[Anonymous No.15677190]

>>15677169

Imagine being a monarchist in 2021

shouldn't you be busy writing your missives by whale oil lantern before dying of consumption or something

[Anonymous No.15677354]

>>15670470

[Anonymous No.15677358]

the cheapest tea i can find
some biscuits

[Anonymous No.15677384]

>takes assam or earl grey without milk or sugar
>avoids carbs in main meals, but enjoys desserts
>fan of smoked fish for breakfast

She's based

[Anonymous No.15677387]

She'll probably have her husband along.
I guess I'd let him grill something.
We can wait for it to get cold before we eat, if that's what she likes.

[Anonymous No.15677603]

>>15672387
Americans are more obsessed with them than we are, there’s a reason Harry and his cunt wife moved to California after becoming for-profit socialites rather than state-owned ones.

[Anonymous No.15677610]

>>15672965
There’s a great story about her scaring the shit out of the Saudi king driving him around in a jeep at higher speeds than he was comfortable with

[Anonymous No.15677747]

Gin

[Anonymous No.15677829]

>>15676835
Who let the Catholics out of their cage again?

[Anonymous No.15677833]

>>15677603

I think the US's idea about the UK and Europe is 40-60 years behind reality, so there's an idealized version of England in people's heads with the monarchy front and center. Much like people having an idealized version of Paris or Venice in their heads while never really knowing the reality. Might not be as bad as the Japanese and their Paris Syndrome, but I see it coming from a similar place

[Anonymous No.15679627]

Hot dog.

[Anonymous No.15680165]

>>15670470
A live screaming baby will do for the lizard queen

[Anonymous No.15680199]

>>15670470
Stouffers mac and cheese with some budweiser

[Anonymous No.15680201]

10lbs of Semtex under a silver cloche

[Anonymous No.15680268]

>>15672933

Classic spiteful mutant.

[Anonymous No.15680271]

>>15680201
t. Paddy O' Toole who couldn't figure out a fishing industry.

[Anonymous No.15680459]

Meghan's still beating heart of course.

[Anonymous No.15680497]

>>15670470
Blighted potatoes and an armalite to the face

[Anonymous No.15681106]

A sauteed piece of zander with hollandaise sauce, potato puree and asparagus a la flamande.

[Anonymous No.15681132]

>>15675387
>they can be voted out,

the recent election fraud has show voting doesn't matter.

[Anonymous No.15681142]

>>15681132
based retard

[Anonymous No.15681228]

>>15675435
>So all you can do is dislike the monarchy, but you have no control over it.
Well there's always the guillotines.

[Anonymous No.15681240]

>>15670470
>The Queen of England is having dinner at your place. What do you serve

[Anonymous No.15681293]

>>15681142
found the libtard guys

[bruce No.15681294]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=did6mMxAI6U

[Anonymous No.15681339]

>>15681293
can you even interpret what that graph means? I highly doubt it. seek help; brainwashed schizo

[Anonymous No.15681411]

>>15681339
>reeeee

I'll make it simpler for you since your a schizo that believes in magic ballots in the middle of the night

[Anonymous No.15681414]

my cock

[Anonymous No.15681463]

>>15681411
you can't even spell your own language properly, why would I take anything you say at face value?

[Anonymous No.15681524]

a .45 from my sig p220 I just got.

[Anonymous No.15681528]

>>15670470
>121 responses
>no one has mentioned Spotted Dick

[Anonymous No.15681539]

>>15681463
>reeee
>I have nothing to say, my NPC buzzword array is at its limit

[Anonymous No.15681542]

spotted dick

[Anonymous No.15681622]

>>15681132
>>15681293
>>15681411
>>15681539
I didn't think it was possible to be as stupid as you.

[Anonymous No.15681877]

>>15681539
what buzzword?

[Anonymous No.15682019]

>>15670470
That bitch is getting the American special of a cold can of spaghetti Os with a bag of nacho cheese doritos and a complimentary glass of mountain dew.

[Anonymous No.15682052]

>>15681539
imagine being this ass blasted holy shit

[Anonymous No.15682217]

>>15670470
She'll never know the difference.

[Anonymous No.15683160]

>>15681132
lol

[Anonymous No.15683185]

can you imagine being a weak little christ worshipping Saxon? I cant think of a better target to rape a pillage for silver and ingots

[Anonymous No.15683209]

>>15670470
Curry

[Anonymous No.15683220]

>>15670470
I wont serve her anything, unfortunately i cannot abide by cooking human flesh and thats the royal families favorite after all. Plus where would i even source the children to cook?

[Anonymous No.15683486]

deenz

[Anonymous No.15683713]

>>15670470
Steak bakes, sausage rolls, meat and potato pies (on buttered barms of course), for afters yum yums. I'll expect my knighthood by the end of the week.

[Anonymous No.15683721]

>>15683185
Vikangz got BTFO’d by Saxon farmers with pitchforks because they were illiterate, disorganised coastal raiders. You suck and so do your ancestors.

[Anonymous No.15683894]

>>15672942
she literally gets hundreds of millions of dollars for just being alive and born into the right family. she better damn well do nice things every once in a while at least. imagine if she actually cared enough to give up her wealth. she could probably save millions of people from starvation.

[Anonymous No.15683932]

Fuck monarchs. Wings with carolina reaper sauce and pure capsaicin crystal dust, make her fucking cry and scream

[Anonymous No.15683941]

>>15670470
Deenz m'lady?

[Anonymous No.15683956]

>>15672387
We don’t have an obsession with them, most bongs don’t care .
Smelly foreigners and colonial traitors have an obsession with them, hence this utterly fucking shit thread started by a dirty wog.

[Anonymous No.15683963]

>>15683894
Oh fuck off with your stupidity, she gets no such thing and the vast majority of her wealth already belongs to the state in all but name now anyway.

[Anonymous No.15683986]

>>15683963
her personal net worth is half a billion dollars buddy, do you think she got there working as a plumber?

[Anonymous No.15683989]

>>15680165
lol

[Anonymous No.15684019]

>>15670470
She's had her fair share of the British "BBC", so I'll introduce her to the real BBC

[Anonymous No.15684022]

>>15670519
Germans usually have 8cm shrimps

[Anonymous No.15684025]

>>15670470
Well my dad has sent asparagus to the Queen herself got a letter back saying thanks.

What do I get for winning boys?

[Anonymous No.15684032]

>>15682217
And you call it a bread when it's obviously a cake.

[Anonymous No.15684034]

I'd serve her some faggots

[Anonymous No.15684036]

>>15670470
Beef wellington, foie gras, sauteed vegetables with a lemon-rosemary seasoning.

If she gives me clout by enjoying my meal, I will be happy. If she doesn't like my meal I'll kill her

[Anonymous No.15684037]

>>15677169
De Maistre has been dead for a looong time. You probably don't even know who he is though

[Anonymous No.15684050]

>>15675435
>Representatives absolutely CAN be, and ARE, voted out
Republican ones, maybe. Good luck getting the old, corrupt democrats voted out.