/ck/ - Food & Cooking

[Anonymous No.15637776]

First time I kneaded bread. I really liked it and actually came out pretty well.

[Anonymous No.15637785]

>>15637776

[Anonymous No.15637790]

>>15637776
Congrats you learned how to do something that women have been doing for thousands of years.

[Anonymous No.15637795]

>>15637785
Nice job anon. Making your own bread is a real accomplishment. I hope to try making my own sourdough or something else easy one day. I want to be able to gift people fresh baked bread

[Anonymous No.15637804]

>>15637795
based participation trophy poster

[Anonymous No.15637811]

>>15637790
Thank you. Might not be surprising for me saying this, but less and less folk of my age are becoming less able to cook or make anything to feed themselves, other then ordering it by phone or eat from restaurants.

[Anonymous No.15637813]

>>15637804
I’m being sincere. Making your own bread is badass. I’d be ecstatic if someone gifted me a loaf of bread they cooked themselves

[Anonymous No.15637819]

>>15637811
Shit, I meant more and more. Lazy.

[Anonymous No.15637828]

>>15637776
Also backed sweet potatos and apples with my grandparents.

>>15637795
Thank you, friend. I hope you do it.

[Anonymous No.15637879]

>>15637813
then your standards of accomplishment are lower than I could have anticipated

[Anonymous No.15638103]

Can we see your bread? Your dough looks dry

[Anonymous No.15638160]

>>15638103
It was a bit, when it came to putting it in the oven.
The bread itself was made as an even mix of wheat and rye; was also told to not abuse with the water quantity.

[Anonymous No.15638162]

Looks like shit fag lol! Kill yourself!

[Anonymous No.15638192]

>>15638160
Ngl that looks gross. What recipe did you follow? Do you have a Dutch oven? I have an easy dough recipe you could try

[Anonymous No.15638227]

>>15637795
>I want to be able to gift people fresh baked bread
Cute.

[Anonymous No.15638236]

>>15638192
He said it was the first time, you bitter retard.

[Anonymous No.15638249]

>>15638236
Lol are you that boomer that posts his Ls and wants validation? Post that Easter cake again. I offered some advice you cringe retard, I don’t have to pretend his bread is good

[Anonymous No.15638259]

>>15638192
>What recipe did you follow?
I followed my grandma's instructions. It's a tradicional way and here the older people call it "The bread that the Devil kneaded". Tastes great, at least.
>Do you have a Dutch oven?
No, I do not.

[Anonymous No.15638265]

>>15638259
Your grandma sounds like a dumb bitch.

[Anonymous No.15638267]

>>15638259
Neat that it’s your grandmas recipe, but the dough looks very dry. Post your recipe

[Anonymous No.15638339]

>>15638267
First of I'm sorry, but everything's by eye. No exact measurements.
Put the flour in one big bowl.
With a small bowl, you fill it with lukewarm water, and then put salt and some yeast. After the yeast and salt are dissolved you'd apply it to the big bowl. Slowly mix them together. After that, whilst you knead you'll apply water whenever you think it needs it. Continue kneading it until it feels consistently homogenous.
Pick a piece of the mixture, put it in flower-covered shovel and put it in the oven.
I know how it all sounds, but in the end the results are pretty consistent, with usually 8 loafs of bread made.

[Anonymous No.15638344]

>>15638249
What advice did you offer?

You're just a very damaged person, I can tell, and you should not be giving "advice" to anyone before some serious soul-searching.

[Anonymous No.15638360]

>>15638339
Let me first help you with your process. Putting in salt with your yeast will help slow down or kill your yeast. Instead, put your yeast in the lukewarm water along with some of your flour. Let that preferment for 15-30 mins. Then combine your flour and salt as well as a few tablespoons of butter. Cover it, and let it proof for an hour. Come back, press down, then let it proof again while you heat up a Dutch oven. Throw it in the Dutch oven after the dough doubles in size and let it cook for 25 minutes with the lid on then remove it until it’s as browned as you want it. Make it much more browned than your pic

[Anonymous No.15638367]

>>15638360
>Putting in salt with your yeast will help slow down or kill your yeast.

Old wives' tale.

[Anonymous No.15638369]

>>15638344
>wahhh wahhh
You’re literally breaking down man, I just said his bread looks gross. You’re projecting so hard it’s unreal. Are you that Easter cake boomer?

[Anonymous No.15638375]

>>15638367
No one disagrees it slows down yeast growth. Why make yourself wait when you can just mix it in with your dry ingredients later? Lmao what is with all these cooklets on shithole site being so loud and dumb.

[Anonymous No.15638399]

>>15638369
Just shut up, man. Go drink some more, I can tell you you're drunk.

I've never posted any Easter cake anywhere.

[Anonymous No.15638410]

>>15637828
How can one picture be so comfy and spooky at the same time?

[Anonymous No.15638411]

>>15638399
I don’t drink lmao, this is getting so sad. You’re not even talking to me, you’re talking to yourself

[Anonymous No.15638421]

>>15638411
You're deflecting because you know I'm right.

[bruce No.15638426]

>>15637776
Nice, good job. Making bread's fun. You just reminded me I should probably feed my started.

[Anonymous No.15638430]

>>15638421
No you’re not lmaooo. I’m only comatose from a large healthy dinner with a protein shake after a lot of outdoor exercise. I don’t drink or smoke at all. I enjoy baking and cooking, and that’s why I find pleasure pointing out mistakes in other peoples process that I used to make

[Anonymous No.15638431]

>>15638421
lol pathetic overly emotional schizo femoid poster

[Anonymous No.15638434]

>>15638430
Post your cooking :3

[Anonymous No.15638439]

>>15638434
Here’s dinner

[Anonymous No.15638442]

>>15638375

I bake more bread than you, n*gger

[Anonymous No.15638445]

>>15638442
Maybe, but you’re still wrong ;)

[Anonymous No.15638446]

>>15638439
looks kind of dry but id eat it

[Anonymous No.15638452]

>>15638439
>Shake n bake pork chop
>Microwaved vegetables
>Sauce in pretentious little applebee's cup
You are a 5 star chef

[Anonymous No.15638463]

>>15638430
Why are you telling me all of this?

Are you insecure because I exposed you as a bitter jealous troll?

[Anonymous No.15638465]

>>15638452
>calls chicken pork
>admittedly bad veggies, only had frozen
>ramekins are pretentious
Go heat up your hungryman champ, I think you have one with the Mac n cheese tonight

[Anonymous No.15638466]

>>15638452
what else did you expect from a /fit/let with superiority complex? they should never be allowed to cook

[Anonymous No.15638467]

>>15638439
Was there any food for adults?

[Anonymous No.15638472]

>>15638463
You called me a drunk like the retarded projecting faggot you are and I told you what actually was my situation. I don’t need to lie, I don’t care about you lmao

[Anonymous No.15638477]

>>15638466
I would feel bad if I didn’t know that less than 5% of this website can throw together food that is any better than the sloppa I put together

[Anonymous No.15638484]

>>15638472
I know you are a drunk or someone with anger problems.

What is going wrong in your life that made you lash out on someone who said it was his FIRST loaf of bread?

Does it make you feel strong and powerful to belittle and demean someone?

[Anonymous No.15638489]

>>15638484
Oh my god you moan like a woman lmao. Are you OPs grandma?

[Anonymous No.15638491]

>>15638477
more like you're in the bottom 5% lmao

[Anonymous No.15638497]

>>15638484
lol such a redditspacing pussy

[Anonymous No.15638502]

>>15638489
I don't need to be OP's grandma to not be a total jerk.

Apologize to OP and I let you go.

Admit you were wrong.

[Anonymous No.15638505]

>>15638491
At least I cook, I know from being here that’s already 10x better than the multitudes of spergs here that actually post regular “can you live off hungryman for every meal” threads. Idk, I took criticism of my meal well and I posted my food. Notice you haven’t done so though ;)

[Anonymous No.15638518]

>>15638502
Is your pussy wet right now? This is so fucking hilarious

[bruce No.15638521]

>>15638502
>>15638497
>>15638491
>>15638489
Can you two bitchboys take this off topic shit somewhere else? Jesus fuck.

[Anonymous No.15638542]

>>15638521
Cmon man I’m like a few replies away from nudes

[Anonymous No.15638569]

>>15638505
>tails left on the shrimp

WHY? WHY????????????????? WHY DO THIS????

[Anonymous No.15638583]

>>15638569
That's where all the vitamins are.

[Anonymous No.15638589]

>>15638569
Forgot desu

[Anonymous No.15638600]

>>15638518
I don't have a pussy, I'm just talking to one.

[Anonymous No.15638604]

>>15638505
You burnt the bread ;w;

[Anonymous No.15638613]

>>15638604
Brand new oven. Yep.
>>15638600
>takes 20 minutes to come out with that zinger
Lady I know you’re ovulating but I’m taken

[Anonymous No.15638621]

>>15638465
Eugh, I cant' eat supermarket chicken anymore now that I started eating home raised duck. It just tastes like cardboard now.

[Anonymous No.15638624]

>>15638521
suck my dick faggot, you clearly want to

[Anonymous No.15638626]

>>15638621
What variety of duck?

[Anonymous No.15638628]

>>15638613
You could have scraped the burnt corners off with a knife.

[Anonymous No.15638633]

>>15638505
jfc that's trash :)

[Anonymous No.15638638]

>>15638613
>cope excuses
>peak level autism

[Anonymous No.15638650]

>>15638626
I raise pekins and khaki campbells.

Pekins (pictured here) are much larger and yield more fat and meat (which makes sense because they are the cornish cross of the duck world), Campbells are much smaller and yield less fat, but their meat is more flavorful. Both are incredibly delicious and the females make wonderful eggs.

Chicken meat is so anemic and bland. Duck meat is almost like beef. You actually are meant to cook it medium rare like a steak. It's much more versatile too. I really don't understand why chicken is as popular as it is. Probably because it can be kept in poultry hell better than ducks can.

[Anonymous No.15638652]

>>15638613
Socks can't be girlfriends.

Just admit you were an asshole and I'll leave you alone. Apologize.

[Anonymous No.15638664]

>>15638650
Also sorry for the shit pic. I am still learning how to master duck. I would recommend if you get a whole duck to break it down. Confit the legs and thighs and pan sear the breast. Save the carcass for stew.

[Anonymous No.15638671]

>>15638650
Duck is good, but you can get by eating thighs. Dark meat on a chicken can be good especially roasted. I just struggle finding good breast recipes because it’s so lean. You might just prefer the fat content of duck as most do. It’s like saying you prefer wagyu to a supermarket steak. I mean sure you’re right but prepared properly it’s not inedible. I find turkey largely inedible however.

[Anonymous No.15638676]

>>15638664
I break down my chickens exactly like you describe. I’m debating getting a bigger stockpot precisely for the carcass usage. I want a 24Q but it seems like overkill

[Anonymous No.15638684]

>>15638671
Nah, chicken thighs are not the same. And trust me, this is coming from someone who used to live off of chicken thighs. Duck is just rich and delicious, and its so cool how little of it you need to be satiated. Half a breast or a single thigh is enough for me, someone who has a massive appetite and could easily eat an entire rotisserie chicken and still be hungry.

[Anonymous No.15638692]

>>15638684
Then send me one lmao. I’ve had duck, it’s good. But Publix doesn’t do BOGO on duck ;)

[Anonymous No.15638695]

>>15638692
No way dude. My drakes aren't for sale. If you want you can come to my farm and buy their eggs.
But I'm not cheap because I dont raise them for profit. I do it for supermarket independence.

[Anonymous No.15638700]

>>15638695
Where you at?

[Anonymous No.15638710]

>>15638700
Midwest united states

[Anonymous No.15638722]

>>15638710
A little far from me then. How long could you last eating nothing but duck though?

[Anonymous No.15638739]

>>15638265
yeah she's a dumb ol' whore but this bread is helly lit, might have to stash it on the DL somewhere 'cause I ain't finna eat this whole loaf day-0.

[Anonymous No.15638750]

>>15638722
Considering I eat an omnivorous diet and also partake in buying large animal shares (currently am working on 1/4 beef i got in august), I slaughtered my last duck in october and still have 11 left out of 21 ducks slaughtered this autumn.
Keep in mind I am a nose to tail eater, so I have been working on parts not included with most supermarket poultry. 21 duck heads, 42 duck feet, 21 necks, and of course organs and fat, it stretches itself out, I literally just finished cooking the last of my duck organs and heads today (they had to be cooked or they were at risk of freezer burn due to how I stored them).
I also have a garden and buy cheap dry goods in bulk. I plan to begin incubating my next batch of ducks next month. And I plan on getting geese and chickens this year. More for behavior, the eggs and meat are a byproduct of their benefit to my little eco system I'm making.

No one is going to live off of just duck. Even if you have a factory farm you wouldn't do that.

[Anonymous No.15638766]

>>15638750
Feet are great for stock since they have plenty of gelatin if I recall correctly. The only time I’ve had neck of any poultry it was in Ethiopian sloppa. What do you do with the heads? I feel urban when I say this but I’m a little turned off by brains

[Anonymous No.15638797]

>>15638766
>I feel urban when I say this but I’m a little turned off by brains
Hahaha thats okay! I'm not a big fan of the brains. But before I slaughtered each duck I promised them they wouldn't be wasted.
The head, along with feet and necks are roasted at high heat for a short time in fat (preferably duck fat but I will also use lard or bacon drippings) also added to my homemade vegetable broth ( I save up washed vegetable scraps in the freezer then slow cook them). and I make nice broth with the feet and necks

I then save the nice rich gelatinous broth, and slowly eat the necks and feet in a quick soup for lunch. Most people might discard the feet and heads after stewing but I stick to my promise. Plus I love poultry feet.
The heads are a bit different. I've had to experiment because... well... no one taught me how to cook duck heads and there's not many recipies.

What I've been doing latley is I take a little bit of the broth and a bit of bourbon maple syrup I have lying around (any similar sweetener will do, like honey or molasses) and I kind of... idk how to explain it. I cook the heads untill the liquid evaporates and the sugars caramelize the skin.

I eat all the meat on the head then crack open the skull and eat the tiny brain with a bit of mustard. It's not my favorite part of the animal but I think if I keep experimenting I might find a good way to cook it. Ive seen asians make really tasty looking duck heads.

[Anonymous No.15638828]

>>15638797
Looks like it would go really good with some crackers, ahem, make that QUACKERS!

Hey all, I just flew in from reddit but I can tell already that this place is going to be fun :^)

[Anonymous No.15638886]

>>15638828
The liver pate would be amazing with crackers. I usually eat them with raw vegetables and homemade biscuits.

I actually legit need to learn how to bake bread. ;w;

Also reddit sucks.

[Anonymous No.15638915]

>>15638797
Tbh if you used the heads as fertilizer I think it would count as not being wasted.

[Anonymous No.15638995]

>>15638915
tru but I already use the intestines, eggshells and some of the feathers as fertilizer.
Anything edible I'm gonna eat.

I am not eating the intestines, they are literally full of shit and the lining cannot be properly cleaned out for sausage casing. Trust me I considered it.

[Anonymous No.15639028]

>>15637776
Op your bread aint that bad.

I can say so because I went about and baked my own bread for fun years ago. Mine looked like yours. If it tastes good that's awesome. Your pictures suck, but once you send a good one it is understandable. Keep baking bread. I use a bread machine now.

Store bought bagged bread sucks ass and is expensive if you want quality so I just bake my own shitty bread now.

[Anonymous No.15640645]

>>15639028
I’ve been loving making sandwich loaves. I went though a lot of recipes before some drunk Englishman here gave me his. Works like a charm

[Anonymous No.15640997]

>>15638995
I don't know if I could raise animals then slaughter them anon but you have my respect. If I did it I'd do like you and make sure they didn't go to waste.

[Anonymous No.15641098]

>>15640645
Would you share your wisdom with us anon?

[Anonymous No.15641100]

>>15638995
>eating the [chicken] intestines
Oh no. Fucking no! The gizzard maybe, if done properly, but not the intestines.
A couple of weeks ago actually, I found out that a female doctor, that I know of, had asked my grandma, her house matron, to prepare the intestines to cook. She just looked at the doctor like she was mentally retarded.

[Anonymous No.15641118]

Jesus what a shit thread
>>15637776
Looks like shit but I like the roundness. I'm sure it tastes nice though and it's a good attempt for your first try, you'll only get better

[Anonymous No.15641127]

>>15637776
Has it even been in the oven yet? Looks like absolute shit.

[Anonymous No.15641156]

>>15641118
>>15641127
Pic is just the dough, waiting to expand due to the yeast.

And it does taste good.

[Anonymous No.15641169]

>>15638995
I loved this thread because of the Duck-farming story.
I will consider it in the future, thanks anon.
>>15637776
Congratulations on starting to make your own bread OP, we all believe in you

[Anonymous No.15641183]

>>15641127
Nice angry contrarian take.

[Anonymous No.15641209]

>>15641100
Did you see the word "Not" before you chose to greentext? Do you even know what animal we are talking about?

>>15640997
I thought it would be hard to slaughter them. I'm actually a pretty sensitive person about killing. But it actually wasn't difficult. I was way too focused on making sure they died quickly and the one person who saw me do it simply described it as "quick". Because it is. Also I only slaughter excess males (when keeping ducks you should have 4 females per male minimum). If I don't they will fight eachother and gangrape my poor females. Drakes also will drown females.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wV6axt4TCI&ab_channel=JahsonBlack

[Anonymous No.15641219]

>>15637776
Baking is fun but I rarely have the time to do the types of breads i like because I'm never home to come back and knead it then let it sit then knead it etc. I usually just do an overnight fermentation no knead situation.

[Anonymous No.15641786]

>>15638613
So you admit you can't do something women have been doing for years? Wewlad

[Anonymous No.15642027]

>>15637776
Hey bro, if you have a Dutch oven just make Jim Lahey's no knead bread. It's easy and comes out great every time. I think Kenji also uses it. You want it to proof for 20 hours or more before you punch it down and then for 1-2 hours after that.

[Anonymous No.15643225]

Anyone got a recipe for that pube loaf that got posted a couple months back?

[Anonymous No.15643764]

>>15637879
wow, who shit in your cereal?

[Anonymous No.15643772]

>>15643764
congratulations on figuring out how replies work I'm happy for your success in this

[Anonymous No.15643805]

>>15641098
I could but it feels like pearls before swine

[Anonymous No.15643807]

>>15643772
what? do you just not have a good comeback, or are you just having a really bad day?

[Anonymous No.15643845]

>>15643807
are you the emotional woman from yesterday?

[Anonymous No.15643864]

>>15643807
>>15643845
I think you both sound like women now to be honest

[Anonymous No.15643915]

>>15637879
What is up to your level of accomplishment that would impress you?
Bake 2 loafs of bread?
Conquer the known world like Alexander the great did?

[Anonymous No.15643988]

>>15643915
It’s not about quantity. It’s quality. OPs blobfish bread has no crumb, no rise, and to my eye looks underbaked. Not sure what you think he gains by making him think he did good. Not everyone needs to have their dick sucked like apparently you like. How old are you? You sound like some old whining hag

[Anonymous No.15644004]

>>15643988
I'm 10 years old and my pp is very big.
I hope you are impressed and validate me with a sucky.
But seriously dude made bread for the first time and it came out ok but can be improved a lot and he said he wants to get better.

[Anonymous No.15644006]

>>15637790
Men and women.

[Anonymous No.15644015]

>>15644004
Are you his mom? I’m not attacking him, I’m trying to teach him how to spot problems in his cooking. You are such a whining cunt I’m absolutely certain you’re that sopping wet dingbat from yesterday

[Anonymous No.15644545]

>>15644015
you literally didn't point any of that out in your op, which makes you a liar and a faggot

[Anonymous No.15644722]

>>15638267
You don't want dough to be wet because then it grows mold.

[Anonymous No.15644995]

>>15643807
I was being positive and congratulation you for something that is in no way noteworthy, I thought that's what you redditors liked?
>>15643915
Pouring a glass of juice seems to be the standard we're aiming for. Making bread is not badass, herculean or impressive. It is rudimentary and it is infantilizing to OP to say otherwise.

[Anonymous No.15645034]

I went to the doctor today for a physical. She checked my blood pressure and told me I should stop masturbating so much. I said wow, you can tell that from just my blood pressure. She said no it has nothing to do with your blood pressure, it's just making me uncomfortable.

Then I checked my phone and saw this post of undercooked bread and was sad