HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE DOUGH

[doughfucker !!6xup6P4dAJ4 No.15567151]

How do you make dough
HOW DO YOU MAKE DOUGH
I've struggled with this for months now, every time I try to make some dough, be it for a loaf of homemade sourdough or even something as simple as pizza, the motherfucking dough sticks to my hands like cum to a doujin character
HOW DO YOU MAKE DOUGH
I can jam both (BOTH) of my hands into a bag of flour, and the dough will still stick. I can add the entire bag of flour itself, and the dough will still stick to my hands. I've tried oiling them, I've tried wearing gloves, I've even gone as far as double-battering my fucking hands like they were fish filets by oiling them, coating them in flour, oiling them again, and putting on a final coat of flour so that there's 0 (FUCKING Z E R O) chance of the dough sticking to my hands, and guess what?
IT STILL FUCKING STICKS
H O W D O Y O U M A K E D O U G H
I can't even fucking knead it! The best thing I can do is grip the bowl the mixture is in with both hands (remember, both hands), and make dramatic swirling motions so the paste clumps together due to the centrifugal force into a vague ball shape. I leave it for an hour to rise, it doubles in size, and who could've guessed it, IT STICKS TO THE BOWL. The bowl I OILED. It doesn't matter what recipe I follow, it all ends the same.
I'VE BEEN AT THIS FOR MONTHS
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE DOUGH

[Anonymous No.15567162]

>>15567151
go over to your grandmothers place with your mom and bring your wife so she can learn too.
ask her to show you how to do it by hand.

[doughfucker !!6xup6P4dAJ4 No.15567194]

>>15567162
my nigga you don't understand, I've been shown
the person demonstrating always says something to the effect of, "just keep kneading it and it'll stop sticking to you"
I must have the most porous, spongy hands this side of bikini bottom, because I can't even get it to the kneading stage, the mass evenly coats my entire hand from my wrist to my fingertips. I've tried using one of those rubber scraping spatula things to get it started, but it's just the same shit. Dough refuses to develop gluten or whatever and just remains a sticky gluey paste.
I suppose it's fitting that a retard such as myself is forced to eat glue; I just don't get it

[Anonymous No.15567196]

>>15567151
>dough sticks = failed dough
what? Just keep kneeding it gets less sticky.

[Anonymous No.15567200]

>>15567151
What recipe are you using?

Try lowering your hydration or using higher protein content flour that absorbs water more.

[Anonymous No.15567229]

Rub some olive oil on your hands, keep working your dough.
You'll get there big boy.

[Anonymous No.15567231]

>>15567194
bro i understand your frustration.
try rice flour on the board or bowl.
i put a clean dish towl in the bowl for overnight siting and flour the towl heavy.

[Anonymous No.15567328]

>>15567196
>>15567229
Please, I beg of you
Thanks though
>>15567200
it can be anything, but generally I'm doing something like 3:1 dry ingredients to wet ingredients (flour, dry yeast, spices, seeds; water/milk). I've gone as low as 4:1, but it's just paste, still paste.
>>15567231
I will look into rice flour, so far I've tried all purpose, standard bread flour, rye, and whole-grain

[Anonymous No.15567343]

Masao posted a bread video 2 days ago. It looked good. Just do what he does.

[Anonymous No.15567363]

>>15567151
Dough will absolutely stick to you until it's been kneaded enough. One trick is to start the process using a fork instead of your hands and when it gets too difficult to mix with the fork, then go in with your hands. And are you actually kneading it properly? I'd love to watch you doing it because if you're using a ratio of 3:1 dry:wet there's no way your dough should be sticking to you. Remember you're meant to knead for 10-15 mins so if you're quitting after a couple of minutes you've not given the dough a chance to stop being sticky.

[Anonymous No.15567384]

>>15567151
when you are first needing i recomend getting a dough scraper to use until it stops being sticky
you can also cover everything in flour
and try letting the dough sit in the fridge for a bit if the recipe uses butter

[Anonymous No.15567408]

>>15567343
I intend to take a look
>>15567363
>are you actually kneading it properly?
Apparently not, I've been kneading it like how I was taught to knead clay; 1-2 hands, grab & bring far end of it over to the closer end, push down and forward, repeat

[Anonymous No.15567699]

mix just the flour and water together and let it sit for 20-60 minutes. then add the yeast and salt separately.

what kind of flour are you using?

[Anonymous No.15567718]

>>15567194
spread butter on your hands before kneading, mix the dough with a big spoon adding flour until its not very sticky first

[Anonymous No.15567750]

>>15567408
For a good 10-15 mins? Also why the fuck would you knead clay

[Anonymous No.15567795]

>>1556732
Are those ratios by weight or by volume?

[Anonymous No.15567799]

>>15567151
You don't have to knead it, moron. Just leave it overnight at room temperature. Stop trying to touch the dough with your bare hands, it's unseemly.

[Anonymous No.15567805]

>>15567795
Meant to reply to >>15567328

[Anonymous No.15569005]

Dude the simplest is water and milled flour. Beyond that you can go and read in some books on how to make region specific types. Seems like you have a handle on that. Ok so the only thing I'll address on your book of a post is put some flour on your hands before handling. I mean wash and dry your hands thoroughly and then add some flour to your human tools. Beyond that, you're just mixing with incorrect proportions.