How can we fix this shit?

[Anonymous No.15508780]

Eating is all fun and games until you need to use the restroom. You rush over and secure the door, pull your pants down, make sure the seat is clean, then: it happens. You shit or fart so loudly the people in the next room over-hear your inappropriate and hilarious butt sounds. Just like that, your private shit escapades are over. Everyone knows, and everyone hates you. Some may even express this out loud. What can we do to fix this shit?

[Anonymous No.15508782]

>>15508780
Are you OK?

[Anonymous No.15508785]

Eat less

[Anonymous No.15509418]

>>15508780
I've had an irrational fear of this my entire life. I fucking hate shitting in public and would never take a dumper at someone else's house out of fear they might hear or smell my poopies. I won't even buy toilet paper at the grocery store because I know the hot cashier girl would be secretly judging me. "That Nastya is gonna go home and destroy his bathroom with giant shitbombs and it's gonna RUIN THE BATHROOM FOR HOURS!" Is what she's thinking. Luckily I've trained my bungpiece to only activate the shitting sequence when I get home from work. It has saved me from a lot of emotional trauma.

[Anonymous No.15509434]

>>15508780
Oh is this the mental illness thread for tonight?

[Anonymous No.15509438]

>>15508780
Turn the sink on

[Anonymous No.15509441]

nothing to do with food or cooking, go fuck yourself.

[Anonymous No.15509442]

>>15509418
BASTED

[Anonymous No.15509445]

i like to spread my cheeks with my hands it helps the sound. alternatively (if it's available) i will insert a straw into my anus to prevent any pressure build ups. slightly more messy but it works

[Anonymous No.15509462]

>>15509445
This is a pretty good idea actually. Will try.

[Anonymous No.15509476]

I used to wipe my ass with pages from the phone book because I couldn't afford toilet paper. Now I have to wipe my ass with my phone because phone books don't exist anymore. Sad.

[Anonymous No.15509518]

It's illegal for girls to shit in Iran.

[Anonymous No.15509541]

>>15509518
seems legit

[Anonymous No.15509550]

>>15509518
Based

[Anonymous No.15509551]

>>15509434
US Navy has nuclear subs posted all around the ice wall, including underneath. You'll never get close enough to the wall before being blown to smithereens or going missing "crashing into an iceberg"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M9juy5dIEI

[Anonymous No.15509565]

>>15509551
Ok so what’s behind the ice wall?

[Anonymous No.15509579]

people actually touch the fucking toilet when using it?

for both number 1 and 2 i never make physical contact. even at my own place and im the only one that uses it. it's nasty cause i defecate there.

you guys are the type of people to take half an hour to shit.

[Anonymous No.15509592]

Imagine not being alpha enough to drop fat loads in public

[Anonymous No.15509599]

>>15509565

[Anonymous No.15509618]

>>15509592
lmao

[Anonymous No.15509636]

>>15509599
This fake tho

[Anonymous No.15509650]

>>15509599
Looks like a generic fantasy world map, what does any of this matter? They’re keeping us inside the ice wall why?

[Anonymous No.15509668]

>>15509592
imagine shitting in public.
i can't remember the last time i did. do you have such weak willpower that you're a slave to your own bowels? i shit when i get home. i'll do it in the morning, or at night, and i'll shower afterwards. my asshole is always impeccably clean. imagine wiping your ass with industrial 1-ply in a public restroom.

what else do you do? when you get tired in public, do you just nap on the floor? find a seat to doze off in?

get a grip.

[Anonymous No.15509675]

>>15508780

I hate pooping around people but the best thing you can do is chad it out and shit hard.

Or you can get into opiates and do one or two silent toilet destroying shits a week but i don't recommend that unless you got other problems than your poops.

[Anonymous No.15509684]

>>15509668
Ya didn't read all that beta bullshit. If you can't shit in public your dad raised a fag and you need to kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.15509692]

>>15509636
>>15509650
from a certain point south ,you won't even be able to advance to reach Antarctica ,let alone going beyond it
Antarctica is literally barricaded
go read a little about it ,at this point i don't care if the earth is a cube ,they are hiding something in the south and i fucking want to know what the fuck that is

[Anonymous No.15509722]

>>15509684
>oops haha guys my tummy is rumbling lemme go squeeze this bad boy out, i'll only be a moment
embarrassing.

[Anonymous No.15509727]

>>15509692
you know we have satellites and the international space station, so if something is being hidden it’s not above ground

[Anonymous No.15509736]

>>15509727
>satellites
>(((international space station)))
you must not know how easy it can be to alter a photo of something...but you are correct in the fact that whatever is there is probably underground

[Anonymous No.15509754]

>>15509736
whats your best guess? UFOs? Atlantis?

[Anonymous No.15509971]

>>15509736
Based shaman
>>15509668
>what else do you do?
Hearty kek

[Anonymous No.15511087]

holy fuck 4chan is unusable on my phone now because of these ads wtfff

[Anonymous No.15511156]

>>15509668
i have a medical condition

[Anonymous No.15511240]

>>15508780
>finish mcdonalds
>go to shit
>keep sharting and it’s loud
>think nobody heard because the washroom door is closed
>mfw I leave the restroom and people are smiling at me
They fucking heard everything

[Anonymous No.15511255]

>>15508780
I read this in David Mitchells voice