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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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15453622 No.15453622 [Reply] [Original]

>***WARNING YOU ARE NOW ENTERING FLAVOUR COUNTRY, TASTELETS NOT WELCOME***

Lets talk about America's favorite sandwich dressing/bread spread: Miracle Whip.

For me, there's nothing quite like the tangy zip of Miracle Whip, and a sandwich just isn't a sandwich without it.

You guys got any Miracle Whip related stories, memories, or recipes to share?

What's your favorite Miracle Whip comercial? I like the ones with the detective.

>> No.15454193

miracle whip tastes like shit. my retard cousin pisses in the tub when his mom buys it and nobody can tell the difference. it's too sweet to be proper mayonnaise, too sour to be proper whip, too unfortunate to be a miracle. just admit it OP, you just like the musky and sweaty taste of man ass straight after a 2 hour workout and that's why you like miracle whip. everytime my mom buys it, she makes one sandwich and then remembers how dog shit miracle whip is and leaves it to rot in the fridge.

>> No.15454206

i pretty much alternate buying mayo and 'whip every time i need sandwich accelerant

>> No.15454209
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15454209

>>15453622

>> No.15454251
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15454251

>>15454193
>it's too sweet to be proper mayonnaise
>too sour to be proper whip
That's where you're wrong bucko. You just have an unrefined pallete.

>>15454206
>sandwich accelerant
I like the cut of your jib, but for me, Miracle Whip is the perfect sandwich accelerant.

>>15454209
just a flavorless jar of congealed soybean oil. No tang. No zip. No good.

>> No.15454258

what is it exactly?

>> No.15454284
File: 64 KB, 314x500, mir.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15454284

>>15454258

>> No.15454410
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>>15454258
>what is it exactly?
It is many things. Some call it a salad dressing, others call it a bread spread or a sandwhich accelerant. Many say a sandwich just isn't a sandwich without it.
It's tangy. It's zippy. It's creamy and delicious. It's a little taste of heaven.
It's a miracle.

>> No.15454697
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15454697

>white bread
>cold cuts
>kraft singles
>iceberg lettuce
>miracle whip
simple perfection

>> No.15454709

>>15454697
i'd eat the crap out of that, but check this out: slap a little 'sturd on that sumbidge

>> No.15454739

>>15454709
Good idea, I tend to squirt it on each bite directly, or dip it

>> No.15455718

>>15454697
Based.

>> No.15455743

>>15453622
isn't this shit just marshmallow?

>> No.15456045

>>15454258
seasoned mayonnaise

>> No.15456133

remember this ad campaign?

https://vimeo.com/90400944

>> No.15456210

>>15454697
holy shit this post just uncovered so many memories. i had completely forgotten that i used to make this sandwich every day after school

>> No.15456263

>>15453622
When I was in junior high, my family had to move in with my grandparents for a bit, while my mom got settled into a new job at the local university and we looked for an apartment. My grandpa would keep bologna in the fridge. I would get two slices of white bread, cut like and inch thick slice of bologna, an inch thick slice of Velveeta, and spread on Miracle Whip.

White trash heaven.

>> No.15456454
File: 38 KB, 640x480, sandwich.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15456454

>>15456133
I never saw that one, but I remember these comercials from the 90's fondly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymQyHXa8Wo8
>>15456263
Pretty comfy story fren, thanks for sharing

>> No.15457000
File: 63 KB, 470x265, miracle_whip_tvad.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15457000

>> No.15457033
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15457033

>>15456263
>cut an inch thick slice of bologna
i've only ever seen whole bologna in three stooges shorts and behind the deli counter

>> No.15457487

>>15457033
Classier stores will sell whole bologna chubs, unsliced.
This is far higher quality bologna than the $0.99/lb sliced chicken/pork/beef stuff.

You can also find the sandwich sized summer sausage chubs there.
Really good places can order you pepperoni chubs, but they won't be cheap.

If you want clean slices, you'll probably need to get a proper slicer. Not an issue if you want fat chunky slices.

The curved ends are supposed to be minced with pickles and mixed with Miracle Whip to make a fine bologna salad.

>> No.15459218
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15459218

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eQ1NQZXYrs
https://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/florida-town-of-mayo-changes-name-to-miracle-whip
Hey Miracle Whip Gang, did you know there's a town in Florida called Miracle Whip you can retire to?

>> No.15459303

>>15454193
>I hate the whip
What the fuck man, are you having a stroke? You come over like some kind of twisted evil and possibly dangerous degenerate. Are you a childfucker by any chance? Do you drop infants from skyscrapers? Do you also skin still alive animals just to see them suffer? How the fuck can you not enjoy some good old whip on a sandwich you asshole.
>Nooo mayo can't just be a bit tangy!!!
If I ever come across you I WILL end your pathetic little existence and violate your corps until they can't identify you without doing some DNA tests.

>> No.15459370

>>15453622
Ah yes, another argument thread.

>> No.15459540

>>15453622
Europoor here. Can anyone introduce me to what's a miracle whip?

>> No.15459561

>>15454258
It’s literally British Salad Cream. Except called something different and sold in America.

>> No.15459721

>>15459540
It's basically a thick salad dressing

>> No.15459871
File: 419 KB, 1296x968, bologna1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15459871

>>15457033

>> No.15461115

>>15459561
It's not the same thing, Miracle Whip combines over 20 (TWENTY!) spices to produce it's unique tangy zippy flavor. Salad cream is something in between mayo and genuine Miracle Whip.

>> No.15462336

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHgLjOOl9Gg
Guys, check out this kino. They don't make em like they used to.

>> No.15463889

>>15461115
Nice-a-roonie

>> No.15464504

Grew up on Miracle Whip and now i legit can't stand mayonnaise. They all just taste disgustingly eggy to me.

>> No.15464515
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15464515

Miracle Whip, the white man's hot sauce

>> No.15465179

For me, its Dukes. The compromising man's mayo of choice

>> No.15465191
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15465191

I used to love the tangy zip, but I have seen the light. For me, it's Mayonesa

>> No.15465268

>>15453622
>Soybean Oil, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Vinegar, Modified Cornstarch, Eggs, Salt, Natural Flavor, Mustard Flour, Potassium Sorbate as a Preservative, Paprika, Spice, Dried Garlic.

No thanks. I'll make my own.

>> No.15465276

>>15453622
>Miracle Whip
Wow are you trying to burn the heck outta my mouth!

>> No.15465282

>>15465268
How will you source your Soybean Oil and High Fructose Corn Syrup?

>> No.15466989

>>15465268
>I'll make my own.
Post recipe plz. Do you use 20 spices?

>> No.15467003

Miracle Whip is the devil's ejaculate. Die in a fire.

>> No.15467012

>>15465268
Really doesn't look that scary to me. Why did those ingredients bother you so much? No one but the egg allergic ever feared mayo.

>> No.15467019

>>15467012
Because corn, man! You know Miracle whip has an entire GRAM of sugar per serving?
A whole GRAM, bro!

>> No.15467028

>>15466989
egg
oil
mustard
vinegar or lemon juice

>> No.15467060

I was in a foster home for 2 years and the only food they would make is bologna sandwiches with miracle whip. If I taste it on a sandwich I'll barf. Mayonnaise is kino, however.

>> No.15467082

>>15467060
Sorry about your butthole-violation.
Miracle Whip is still good though. Nice of your fosters to buy it also, considering it costs double what mayo does.

>> No.15467086

>>15467060
What cinematographic qualities does mayonnaise have?

>> No.15467157

>>15467082
Damn I didn't know it costs more. I've always just bought mayo. They always bought the big ass restaurant grade tubs of that shit. I was at the height of my pickiness as a kid so if not for my association with it I'd probably like it today.

>> No.15467388

>>15453622
Ive always made desserts out of it, no idea it went on sandwiches

>> No.15467394

>>15467157
Yup at any store I go to it’s easily twice the price of same-size jar of Hellman’s or Dukes or whatever else.

>> No.15467398

>>15467060
>I was in a foster home for 2 years and the only food they would make is bologna sandwiches with miracle whip
when i was a kid, i refused to eat lunch unless it was a bologna sandwich with miracle whip.

>> No.15468963

>>15467388
I didn't know you could do this. How do you use it in desserts?

>> No.15470189

>>15467157
It is the exact same price as Hellman’s at a Walmart. If a store charges more, they are high / lowing anon on prices

>> No.15470505

>>15454193
based

>> No.15470510

>>15454284
>fresh lemon juice mayonnaise
now that sounds good

>> No.15471871
File: 16 KB, 480x360, miraclewhip.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
15471871

>> No.15471941

>>15462336
>>15456133
>>15456454
I think the company deleted all traces of that godawful ad from just a few years ago. The one with a Diverse™ bunch of faggots on a rooftop at night, partying and having the time of their lives while enjoying a jar of that Tangy Zip©.

>> No.15472221
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15472221

>>15454206
>sandwich accelerant

>> No.15472252

>>15471941
It makes sense, alternative people? Alternative sandwich spread >>15457000

>> No.15472451

>>15464504 Best shit you'll ever eat once you make it yourself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saU3_xJJrCg&list=PLbS0HkS8Xsorrdr3pPk4lP80tUAzfyxP1&index=26

>> No.15472457

>>15466989
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saU3_xJJrCg&list=PLbS0HkS8Xsorrdr3pPk4lP80tUAzfyxP1&index=26

>> No.15472488

>>15459540
American version of mayo . Its what your local cheapest soda is to a proper coke.

>> No.15472511

Tf is a sandwich accelerant?

>> No.15472527

I always had sandwiches and made tuna sandwiches with miracle whip my whole childhood. I thought that's what mayo of all brands tasted like. You can imagine my surprise tasti g "real" mayo. I still love miracle whip to this day.

>> No.15472528

>>15453622
>America's favorite x
>flavour
fuck off larper

>> No.15472543

>>15454697

My man.

>> No.15472549

>>15459540
Get some British Heinz salad cream. Basically the same.

>> No.15472600

>>15472549

Incorrect. I've had both. The whip is much better.

>> No.15472968 [DELETED] 

>>15453622
>goyim bean
>ever
sage and reported

>> No.15473934

>>15472457
I tried making mayo once, even had an electric beater, didn't turn out. I just stick to tried and true Miracle Whip now. It never disappopints.

>> No.15474241
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15474241

>>15454193