How do you like your kebabs

[Anonymous No.15384852]

People who actually order doner or pizza from a kebab house are subhuman. I instantly know that any person with me who orders this is replaceable in the long run. I cannot trust them, I cannot confide in them. A bead of sweat traces it's way down my temple, although my face doesn't betray the disgust boiling inside me, inevitably my eyes glaze over as I pretend to scan the menu.. again, already knowing full well what I was going to order. I knew long before we brought up the topic of food, in fact I've known my whole life that there was only one conceivable solution to the kebab question. Mixed shish. The answer was so apparent that anything else was tantamount to spreading shit upon ones face and doing cartwheels in the street. Doner kebab? Please, go ahead and ingratiate that gaping hole you call a mouth with that fully formed, reconstituted mystery meat. Stuff it deep down inside until you turn blue, it'll save me the trouble of having to continue pretending that we were acquainted. You are dead to me, I expel every single memory of your fetid existence from the deepest reaches of my memory. Before I was man I was a child, before I was child I was a foetus, in all things there is a universal truth, and the truth of you is dirt. Dirt beneath my feet unfit for the worms to crawl through. I return to my senses and lo, You've already got food in hand. The Kurd-cum-Turk gestures for my order, accommodated with broken English but the game is up. My appetite is dispelled as my stomach contorts even tighter, feasting on pure cortisol and apathy. Are you enjoying that lukewarm can of Diet Coke? The clearly expired one with little to no fizz that's been sitting next to raw burger patties for months.. Don't mind me, go ahead and start on that huge portion of sweaty, soggy chips under a mountain of doner-minge-meat shavings, drowned with a mixture of ketchup and brown sauce. Please let me pay, it'll be my last ever pleasure in your inbred mutant company. Goodbye forever

[Anonymous No.15384859]

Ok

[Anonymous No.15384897]

>>15384852
I've never had kebab, I don't eat dirty sand people food.

[Anonymous No.15386999]

>>15384897
>restricting your culinary experiences based on cultural prejudices

[Anonymous No.15387009]

My daughter becoming a rape slave was absolutely worth getting all this wonderfully diverse food.

[Anonymous No.15387019]

saj or gyro > kebab

[Anonymous No.15387555]

>how do you like your kebabs
Removed

[Anonymous No.15387556]

>>15387009
If you're European you probably have someone in your family tree who was a member of the Persian, Ottoman or Barbary slave trade anyway.

[Anonymous No.15387560]

>>15386999
yes

[Anonymous No.15387569]

>>15384852
in a yufka and always with cheese. but never with rotkraut. germans are fucking weird for putting rotkraut on everything, it's comical. i got nachos at a tex mex place and there's fucking rotkraut on them.it would be an adorable stereotype if it wasn't so fucking gross

[Anonymous No.15387573]

>>15384852
how much does this cost?

[Anonymous No.15387583]

>>15384897
Halal Guys on 53rd and 6th make a bitchin platter that hits the freakin spot

[Anonymous No.15387587]

>>15387569
>rotkraut
I never had or saw rotkraut on kebab, but rotkohl is delicious on kebab.

[Anonymous No.15387620]

>>15387587
sorry i meant rotkohl i get them confused sometimes. both are terrible though

[Anonymous No.15388659]

>>15384852
9 out of 10 bongs don't even know about shish, they're happy to eat like pigs at a troth all the same

[Anonymous No.15388800]

>>15387620
t.tastelet

[Anonymous No.15388899]

>>15384852
>People who actually order doner
But that's the best way to get flavor out of a 15 year old...
>>https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/charlene-downes-blackpool-murder-kebabs-15343307

>Mum's anguish 15 years after her daughter was 'cut up and mixed into kebabs by grooming gang'

[Anonymous No.15388935]

>>15388899
Notice how they never eat doner themselves. It's always been a dead give away

[Anonymous No.15389422]

>>15384852
I wanna try a kebab from the local place but their menu starts at $17 for a basic kebab.
Could fukken make my own at home for half that price.
They're just Greek/Turkish (same thing) burritos anyway.

[Anonymous No.15389606]

Needs more pea wet

[Anonymous No.15389619]

>>15389422
>Yank
Even at that price you'll be getting a bad imitation. Which is ironic because imitating what is commonly accepted as the 'right' kebab in Yurop is equally poor. All you have to do is find a lamb shish recipe to follow for meat prep (not one done by a burger), get the right Turk-centric spice mix, marinate with or without yogurt, get a large pita and incise a pocket, create a garlic and herb mayo sauce, cover meat with sauce, stuff inside, serve with chopped lettuce, onions (raw usually, but sweated if that's your thing) and pickled banana pepper (if you can find it). Of course tomato and cucumber are common but not to my taste in a kebab. The only real trick is getting the spices and marination right, then cooking it over a chargrill, anything less is not going to cut it. Also take a miss on kofte it's not incredible and familiar in texture to a dry meatloaf, and don't forget that the majority of the time you don't eat kebabs like a calzone unless you want to get covered in sauce and grease, normally kebabs come over stuffed with the pita already soggy. It might not sound appealing but it's much nicer to slice bits of pita off to fork with the shish, salad and sauce combined. Hot sauce is preferential, since you're a burger I'd recommend flicking some Cholula all over it as it's tang is similar to the Med-style hot sauces

[Anonymous No.15390073]

>>15384852
Large chicken tikka in naan w/ salad and garlic chilli sauce.

[Anonymous No.15390102]

>>15389619
Nah Aussie.
And I guarantee our kebabs are better than yours, in just not paying a fucking hours wage for a fucking cockroach burrito

[Anonymous No.15391799]

>>15387555

Trips confirm, 10/10 answer

[Anonymous No.15392291]

kalb mit alles nicht scharf bitte