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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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15169796 No.15169796 [Reply] [Original]

I have never been to a restaurant. What am I in for?

>> No.15169807

covid

>> No.15169817

tell them its your birthday

>> No.15169832

How does the cook decide what to give you?

>> No.15169835

>>15169796
Waiters being fucking annoying

>> No.15169850

covid

>> No.15169854

>>15169796

At most restaurants it is customary to remove your trousers before eating, to prevent them from getting soiled. Hand them to your waiter or waitress, who will secure them in the "pant-ry" until your meal is through.

>> No.15169894

>>15169832

You will be handed a short book called a men-you. (If there are women in your party, be sure to request a women-you in advance. Despite America's normalization of sexual perversion, in most fine dining establishments the dishes are still strictly segregated, for your own protection.) This tome will list all of the dishes that the chef has prepared for you in advance. Select those that you wish to consume; the remainder will be distributed to the waitstaff and tramps when the restaurant closes for the night.

>> No.15169900

>>15169796
i've never been to 4channel

>> No.15169912

>>15169894
All the stuff was prepared in advance? I don't want to eat cold food.

>> No.15170039

>>15169796
Its like eating food at home except you can go shit in the urinal and they have to clean it up.

>> No.15170056

After the meal make sure to congratulate the chef by raising your glass in the direction of the kitchen

>> No.15170064

>>15169832
Just ask for "the usual" and you will get their standard dish.

>> No.15170076

>>15169912
Don't forget your portable stove then. make sure your propane tank isn't empty, it's super embarrassing

>> No.15170081

>>15169912

Some restaurants have the facilities to reheat the food, for a nominal fee.

>> No.15170103

>>15169854
This doesn't sound real...

>>15169817
What happens at a restaurant on your birthday?

>> No.15170194

>>15169796
get ready for a huge disappointment. It's gonna taste worse than what you can make, for twice the price. Invest in yourself.

>> No.15171660

>>15170103
On your birthday, the meal is free. Make sure to remind them of this, in case a forgetful busboy charges you by accident.

>> No.15172516

>>15169796
Paying for the food, the chef cooking it, the server who's serving your table, and don't forget to tip :)