Let's play a game

[Anonymous No.15054965]

You are locked into a grocery store over night. No cameras. No security to worry about. You cannot leave until someone comes in the morning and unlocks the door. Once done, you are able to silently slip out to freedom with no consequences. You have the whole night to do as you please. There's plenty of cooking tools in the hardware section of the store and dishes and pots and pants in the houseware department, so everything is possible.

What do you do? Do you gorge yourself? What would you do with a wild night alone in a grocery store?

[Anonymous No.15054971]

>>15054965
Fap

[Anonymous No.15054977]

>>15054965
honestly, I don't want to steal food. I can wait until morning. I would probably sleep like a baby on some rice bags and enjoy having peace for an entire night.

[Anonymous No.15054981]

>>15054971
Lube and other sexual health products are located on aisle 7.

[Anonymous No.15054984]

>>15054965
I sit down and silently wait it out thinking. If I get hungry I'll eat something small like some bread and cheese and leave a cash payment with a note of spology.

[Anonymous No.15054990]

>>15054965
I'd get outrageously drunk and smash the place up like a real nigger. Also I'd empty the cash registers and atms

[Anonymous No.15054991]

>>15054977

[Anonymous No.15054994]

>>15054965
I mean...I have enough money to buy anything I want in there, so I don't know...sleep so I can get out as soon as possible?

[Anonymous No.15054996]

>>15054965
>eat all the baked goods on display and all the ice cream
>steal all the pickled herring and frozen pizza for later
>roll myself out
>pic related

[Anonymous No.15054998]

You can really tell how fucking terrible a ridiculous number of people are in these hypotheticals. "Haha, yeah I'd be a real piece of shit if there were no consequences," as if a possible penalty is the only thing keeping them from being garbage. This must be why religion was such an easy sell for the weak and brainless, be good or the devil will getcha!

[Anonymous No.15054999]

It's not as fun as you'd think spending the night at a grocery store

t.manager

[Anonymous No.15055003]

All the liquor I can't afford then lunch meat from the deli counter

[Anonymous No.15055006]

>>15054991
well, i already had full run of a grocery store during Katrina, I took medical supplies for an injury I got outside and a bottle of wine. I don't want to ever have to do that again.

[Anonymous No.15055009]

>>15054977
>>15054984
>>15054994
>>15054998
>>15054999
Jesus christ, you all are a bunch of boring nuns. This was supposed to be a fun hypothetical.

[Anonymous No.15055013]

>>15055009
>REEEE AGREE WITH MY IDIOCY
cope

[Anonymous No.15055014]

>>15054965
I guess I just do my job and restock the shelves, clock out at 5 and head home.

[Anonymous No.15055015]

>>15054965
OP again. I'll add some new factors. The agents of degeneracy have overtaken your nation and you are on the lam. Capitalism is dead, all assets including the contents of the store now belong to the state. This is a stop on the way to an outpost of the resistance. You won't be able to take anything with you when you get out.

[Anonymous No.15055019]

>>15054965
Probably just read some magazines until I can leave
Just like I did when I used to work 3rd shift cashier lol

[Anonymous No.15055020]

>>15055009
No your thread is just shit and the premise is ridiculous

[Anonymous No.15055029]

>>15054965
I'd take a huge pot and fill it with water and get it boiling on a hot plate. Then I'd get a grill going.

The biggest cut of beef I can find goes on the grill and as many crab legs and lobster tails and shrimp I can stuff into the pot.

I'd chop up a big salad and toast some garlic bread to go with it. I'd raid the dessert section later once I'm able to walk and breathe after feasting.

[Anonymous No.15055031]

>>15054971

[Anonymous No.15055047]

>>15054965
i would eat every frozen shit like pizza and hamburguer, and stock other stuff to cook at home, my main goal would be to stock tomatoes,onions and eggs and milk because theese are the one i use the most, i also would try to get some soda, pasta and rice and then i would probbaly steal a phone or a console if it is one of theese big stores

[Anonymous No.15055048]

>>15055015
I'm
>>15054996
I will eat my sweet empty carbs but now I will eat pickled herring, see if I like frozen pizza, and I will try cookie butter as well, never had it before, but I imagine it's quite good.

Then I will stuff my face with as much beef jerky as I can tolerate.

[Anonymous No.15055049]

>>15054998
lmao fag

[Anonymous No.15055052]

>>15055009
unless you're poor what are you gonna do that you can't do just by shopping like a normal person

[Anonymous No.15055055]

>>15054998
i mean, it is probbaly a brand owned souless store, so all the stuff we steal would probbaly not matter

[Anonymous No.15055069]

>>15055052
OP DID put "let's play a game" in the subject, btw. not sure if you know what a game is, but in this particular game, it's a SCENARIO. A pretend scenario.

[Anonymous No.15055070]

>>15055055
>capitalism is sufficient justification to abandon your principles
Thanks for proving my point.

[Anonymous No.15055083]

>>15054965
Try out all the haagen dasz flavours, i guess

[Anonymous No.15055085]

>>15054965
Eat all kinds, some fresh bread, all random stuff. Lot's of drink too because it's free booze. Get in my socks and skid on the floor or mess with the trolleys. I might swap some things around on the shop, like putting stuff like condoms and lube in the biscuit aisle and shit like that. Then probably have a cheeky masturbation then sleep on pillows and quilts if the shop has that section.

[Anonymous No.15055086]

>>15054965
I'd probably go pick up the phone or set an alarm off so I can go home. If I truly am stuck I'd probably use it as an opportunity to have a cheat day. Drink as much as I want and eat chips and stuff. I'd eat a few bites all of the things I always don't buy like strawberry danish and cheesecake and coffee cake. I'd probably end up passing out with a half eaten tray of sushi. Don't wake me up in the morning I'll wake up when I'm ready.

[Anonymous No.15055094]

>>15054998
Wouldn't "no consequences" mean your actions don't really have an affect on anyone else either? What if everything you took was magically replaced?

[Anonymous No.15055095]

>>15054965
Probably just eat baked goods and snacks and wonder how I'd avoid freezing to death. Grocery stores are already stupidly cold during the day.

[Anonymous No.15055098]

>>15055095
turn on the warmer they keep the rotisserie chickens in and snuggle up near it

[Anonymous No.15055101]

>>15054965
realistically if you end up locked in a store overnight and touched stuff I think they'd assume you hid in the store and intended on doing it

[Anonymous No.15055103]

I would take one small bite/sip of each thing, starting with the most expensive alcohol

[Anonymous No.15055106]

I'd put myself in a diabetic coma

[Anonymous No.15055131]

>>15054965
I'd probably shit on the fresh romaine lettuce, then go to bed.

[Anonymous No.15055162]

>>15054965
I’d spend all night drinking IPAs and eating sushi

[Anonymous No.15055169]

There's only so much one can eat in a few hours, and I don't like the idea of vandalizing other people's property, so I'd wonder around looking at the products and maybe crash on a sofa while watching tv or something. If hungry, I'd see what I could find in the back room fridge. Leaving some moneu behind.

[Anonymous No.15055405]

>>15054965
I would front the shelves and fill up on stuff till I fall asleep from exhaustion, there's nothing worse then leaving without the shelves being impeccable with nothing out of place.

Any holes or something sticking out almost physically hurts

[Anonymous No.15055424]

>>15055094
Do you think the people on the other shift are some bunch magical fairies or what, freakin' asshole

[Anonymous No.15055430]

i would poach all the lobster and crabs i want to eat in butter. and id make a small caesar salad, and cook up some fingerling potatoes. then id take a huge greasy shit in the bathroom (id flush and clean up, im not an animal) then id raid cigs and liquor and get drunk. set an alarm to sneak out in the morning

[Anonymous No.15055473]

I work in a grocery store, so I'm not sure I could bring myself to steal anything. If I took food, I'd pay for it the next morning.

[Anonymous No.15055474]

every.
single.
one.

[Anonymous No.15055549]

>>15054965
I shitpost on 4chan all night while feasting on deens and coffee icecream

[Anonymous No.15055565]

I'd break myself out. I'm afraid of being alone

[Anonymous No.15055567]

i grab a case of beer and look for a computer to watch jerma streams while i get drunk

[Anonymous No.15055582]

>>15054999
The fun has only just begun HOnk HOnk

t.jester

[Anonymous No.15056343]

>>15054965
I would use the most expensive ingredients to whip up something spontanious and then eat up all the deserts there
also do >>15054981

[Anonymous No.15056359]

>>15055582
no one said anything about the grocery jester being locked in with me. That changes everything, I go to the propane exchange and work on plan to safety.

[Anonymous No.15056371]

>>15054965
Probably fuck around in the carts for a bit, set up a tent if they have those in stock. I wouldn’t gorge out but I’d definitely take a few snacks and drinks

[Anonymous No.15056376]

>>15054965
Break as many things as humanly possible because breaking shit is fun

[Anonymous No.15056390]

I lock myself inside the freezing storage. it's the only answer.

[Anonymous No.15056417]

>>15054965
gorge myself on whipped cream cans and pour vegetable oil everywhere haha

[Anonymous No.15056424]

>>15054981
Based

[Anonymous No.15056457]

Try a bite of all the expensive ice creams I always look longingly at when shopping then sleep near the pastry ovens.

[Anonymous No.15056500]

I play a different game when I’m at the store. I pretend that I’m locked in forever. What would your first move be? I would take some perishables and freeze them in the freezers. I’d also make a big slip n slide in the soap aisle.

[Anonymous No.15056502]

>>15056359
What's a grocery store jester?

[Anonymous No.15056506]

>>15056502
A /tv/ meme that somebody wants to bring here by changing it from a cinema to a grocery store.

[Anonymous No.15056508]

>>15054965
I'd probably just chill with a case of beer and some chips and watch videos on my phone until I get sleepy. Then I'll use a loaf of bread as a pillow and go to sleep.

[Anonymous No.15056542]

>>15054965
>There's plenty of cooking tools in the hardware section of the store and dishes and pots and pants in the houseware department, so everything is possible.
>What do you do? Do you gorge yourself? What would you do with a wild night alone in a grocery store?

Look for dried squid or jerky. Microwave or toaster oven them till they're smoky and crispy. And eat lots of Doritoes and Koolaid for the memes.

[Anonymous No.15056674]

>>15054965
Break into the pharmacy and get really fucked off some oxy or something

[Anonymous No.15056694]

>>15054965
Open every bottle of oil that I could find and cover every inch of every walking surface with oil.
Now that's something I've always wanted to do

Or just find any aisle with glass bottles, jars, glassware or ceramics and just push everything off with a drag of the hand. Always tempted to do that as a kid, especially in places where they had huge and long ass shelves of cheap glasses

[Anonymous No.15057064]

Probably eat a box of cookies and drink some chocolate milk or something, then go sleep in the produce department or whatever

[Anonymous No.15057114]

>>15054965
First I would look in the clothing section for appropriate undergarments and a three leather belts I would all wear at one, I will need them.

I'd build a laser repellant armor only out of the finest stainless steel hardware including a round bottom whisk bowl (since I need one) for my croth area to protect. I'd hang an assorted selection of new knives, a at least 80$ soup ladle, two spatulas, a set of whisks, tongs, and a 12 piece set of throwing cutlery on my belt.

I'd build helmet out of four pans an a grill grate so I still can see.

Then I'd head over to the cleaning section and grab two mobs which go on the belt like the samurais do and one extra long I would hold in my hands as my staff.

Next, hide in the shadows, slip out, regret that I couldn't carry more steel.

[Anonymous No.15057152]

>>15054965
Grab a few carts and loot the chip aisle

[Anonymous No.15057176]

>>15055069
Sweaty we don' t have to pretend to be decent humans being.

We are.

Take your shitty roleplay shit to plebbit.

[Anonymous No.15057365]

>>15055009
Don't worry op, as a kid I've always dreamt of spending a night in an empty supermarket, guess that's not universal. Personally I'd try out a lot of things, not eating myself into a coma, but just trying out things I'd normally not pick from the shelves, because they go under my radar/are too expensive. I'd also spend some time at the whisky aisle, if it was a mall I'd maybe try out some high-end electronics/kitchen appliances which I'd normally not be able to buy. Other than that I'd just enjoy walking around without other people near me, it's the one thing keeping me from grocery shopping more often, the act in itself is pretty meditative.

[Anonymous No.15057374]

>>15054965
Is there a cutie I can fuck in the floral section?

[Anonymous No.15057470]

Seafood binge then raid the pharmacy.

[Anonymous No.15057475]

>>15054965
find a cozy corner to make camp, get drunk, fuck cooking, eat snacks, rob the coin machine

[Anonymous No.15057525]

My grocery stores have liquor, so I would just find the most expensive bottle of something I can find. I would take one sip of it and dump it out because alcohol is fucking gross. Then I would go get some oreos and ice cream and mix them together. I would eat a single serving of this. Then I would go get a microwave dinner and a microwave. I would microwave my microwave dinner and then I would eat it while watching youtube on my phone. I would then get all the bags of marshmallows and sleep on a marshmallow bed. I would dream about better days, not locked in a grocery store. I would think about all those times I got to sleep in a real bed and actually feel well rested when I awoke. But none of that would actually matter by morning. When I awake I would realize I had the best sleep of my life, sleeping on bags of marshmallows. I would take them all home and put them in place of my mattress. They would eventually get stale and hard, and I would have to replace them. I would be addicted to sleeping on marshmallows.

[Anonymous No.15057539]

Open the side door that doesn't have a lock as per fire code.

[Anonymous No.15057544]

>>15057539
A broken down car has been stopped in front of it on the other side and been abandoned. The door won't budge.

[Anonymous No.15057573]

>>15054965
Probably just would farm on most expensive charcuterie and cheeses, plus some nuts, fruits and brandy.
And foie gras pate in case of good hypermarket.

[Anonymous No.15057580]

>>15057525
nice meme friend. here in aus we get the jumbo marshmallows as big as the palm of your hand. they would be pretty comfy

[Anonymous No.15057640]

>set up a hi-fi near the stove and bring over some comfy chairs
>put some beers and top-shelf champagne & white wine on ice
>cook a load of expensive shit like scallops, foie gras, lobster
>get trashed and smoke whilst eating nice stuff
>probably wank
>bust open the pharmacy and take anything fun, line my pockets with it too
>sleep
>leave

[Anonymous No.15057670]

realistically, I would try a whole bunch of stuff I have never bothered to buy because it looked like shit and I didn't want to spend money on it. Weird candy and treats, ice cream flavors I have been too apathetic to try, energy drinks (never have had one), some of those weird deli meats you have to get sliced and so on.

I'd use it as a chance to try new stuff.

[Anonymous No.15057677]

>>15054965
Probably coat myself in chocolate and then leave imprints of myself on various things.

[Anonymous No.15057822]

>>15054965
I would get drunk as fuck and start looking up recipes for chilli, pasta's, pizza and other shit that takes a lot of ingredients (for me). Then I'd bust out a grill and start grilling some steaks, potatos and other shit. I'd go grab deepfryers and start deepfrying random stuff just to see how it would taste. I could easily spend hours just doing those three things with an entire grocery store to have free reign over. Once I start getting drousy or too drunk I'd go make a fort out of the toilet paper and doze off until before closing. Go full hair of the dog until the hangover is gone and move on with life

[Anonymous No.15057831]

>>15054965
I use my phone to call the police and get me out.

[Anonymous No.15057850]

I'd eat four bags of goldfish crackers, wash it down with some not-from-concentrate oj then stuff as many ribeyes down my pants as will fit and waddle out the back door

[Anonymous No.15057852]

I'd move things subtly and glue items to the rear of the shelf so no one could pull them forward, maybe change price labels. Small stuff that would ensure my presence was felt for a while after I snuck out

[Anonymous No.15057860]

>>15057573
This, and maybe some drugs

[Anonymous No.15057875]

>>15054965
I'm lazy as fuck. I'd just eat chips & ice cream or any pre-made sandwhiches they had.

[Anonymous No.15057878]

Where do you pee?

[Anonymous No.15057926]

>>15057878
In my mouth haha wouldn't that be weird haha

[Anonymous No.15057982]

>>15054990
>saying the n word unironically
go back to /pol/ nazi

[Anonymous No.15057998]

I’d practice rolling sushi, drink a few beers then retire to my massive TP nest for the night

[Anonymous No.15058427]

>>15054965
how are you going to cook anything? they dont have a oven or a grill or a stovetop or even a microwave

[Anonymous No.15058620]

>>15057982
you will never be a woman.

[Anonymous No.15058693]

>>15054981
You’ll be going for the cucumbers next, I suspect.

[Anonymous No.15058713]

>>15054965
First up, grilled cheese taste tests. I make 1 grilled cheese per every type of cheese the store has. I’ve been wanting to try a grilled cheese with jarlsberg first, then Gouda, then Swiss. From there, who knows.

Second, I’m cooking up a bunch of sausage and eating it with BBQ sauce. I’ll be leaving with a big pot of that.

[Anonymous No.15058741]

>>15055085
That sounds like a fun night

[Anonymous No.15058751]

>>15058427
Break room microwave, bakery oven, hot foods section has fryer, stove, etc

[Anonymous No.15058782]

>>15054965
Go to HBA section. Find pantyhose, put them on...then play with makeup.

[Anonymous No.15058960]

i go to the bakery

right

ok

so i go back there, i find a frosting piping bag

and i pipe the word "fart" on every baked good available
i am a devil

[Anonymous No.15058992]

>>15058960
dude, this is a blue board

[Anonymous No.15058995]

>>15054965
cover the floors in slick oil and see how far I can slide by naked body

[Anonymous No.15059010]

I'd line up all the frozen turkeys like an army marching up and down all the aisles. I'd love to see the worker's faces when they're greeted with my frozen gobbling minions

[Anonymous No.15060595]

>>15054965
I'd sample every ice cream that catches my eye. There's so many flavours out there now and I've barely tried any of them.

[Anonymous No.15060666]

>>15058782
BASED

[Anonymous No.15060695]

Probably cover myself in food, i'm thinking custard, then jack off.

[Anonymous No.15060731]

>>15054981
I can image using lube as a way to transport myself from aisle to aisle as a slip-in-slide.

[Anonymous No.15060734]

>>15054965
Warming to know not many people on /ck/ are assholes

[Anonymous No.15060742]

>>15055070
>abiding by moral principles to the benefit of those who do not abide by them, never will, and want you reduced to nothing but a unit of harvestable value
Good Christ, are you ever a head of cattle.

[Anonymous No.15060871]

>>15060734
I dont see the point in being a dick and messing up a shop proper. You don't get anything out of it and you wont see the reactions to it, sort of. Oil on the floor for sliding, yeah dick move but it's fun because the opportunity is there. Still makes you a twat though, but less of a twat than the guy who trashes everything for the sole purpose of annoying the staff. Plus I'm sure some people here saying they'll fuck shit up probably wouldn't and just sit on their phone drinking.

[Anonymous No.15060882]

I would probably just eat a big container of salted cashews and help myself to an apple or two and a 6 pack of beer.

[Anonymous No.15060920]

>>15054965
I'd probably try all the cereals I dont usually buy.

[Anonymous No.15060959]

>>15059010
This is the start of a good idea. But I’d take tall &slim bottoms of something, and use them as pins and the frozen turkeys as a bowling ball.

[Anonymous No.15061123]

use the deep fryers in the deli to fry one of everything i can think of

[Anonymous No.15061308]

>>15057525
what a comfy read that was

[Anonymous No.15061888]

>>15055009

How'd you know we were nuns?

[Anonymous No.15061900]

I worked at a grocery store and there was a massive snow storm and us closing employees basically got snowed in.

We used the deli department to cook some pizzas we made. Snacked on chips, sodas. Some of the stockers chilled in the back rooms and had some beers. One of the managers have some crown royal in his office with some lads. We slept on these big ass dog beds. Was cold as fuck (Cause the temp is controlled by corporate and keeping the store cold = shit doesn't go bad.) and I didn't bring a jacket, but with enough dog beds covering me it was tolerable.

Also ate some Lunchables and had a few slices of pizza the others cooked.

>In b4 they drank on the job
It was the early 2000's and no one cared.

[Anonymous No.15062423]

>>15054965
make a flesh golem out of ground meats and fuck it

[Anonymous No.15062434]

>>15054965
Sleep on a bed of Wonderbread loaves.

[Anonymous No.15063125]

>>15054998
I'm just a hungry dude who's too much of a jew to buy tasty shit I want to eat man. Not like this is a thread about killing babies.

[Anonymous No.15063182]

>>15060742
Wow when you put it that way, why bother havibg principles? We should just abandon civilization and live in total anarchy, every man for himself. Fucking retard, I'm glad you'll never be in any position of authority.

[Anonymous No.15063191]

>>15061900
>It was the early 2000's and no one cared.
Sounds awful, good thing professional standards became a thing in the last 10 or so years

[Anonymous No.15063196]

>>15054965
Read all the labels. Sample all the deli food. Try a couple of beverages and pay for them in the morning.

[Anonymous No.15063256]

>>15054965
>Do you gorge yourself?
No, why would I want to do that? I'd just sleep. Maybe have a bottle of wine as a nightcap.

[Anonymous No.15063631]

>>15057878
In the vegan aisle.

[Anonymous No.15064210]

>>15054998
>stealing from a supermarket is morally wrong

ok capitalfag

[Anonymous No.15065624]

all these looser chuds the correct anwser is burn and destroy everthing Antifa will not tollerate corparet shills spredding fascism

[Anonymous No.15065633]

>>15056390
have a (You) for originality

[Anonymous No.15065644]

Swap the shelf tags between aisles.

[Anonymous No.15065931]

>>15065624
Nigger what the fuck does chud mean?

[Anonymous No.15065938]

>>15056457
based

[Anonymous No.15065991]

>>15054965
>There's plenty of cooking tools in the hardware section of the store and dishes and pots and pants in the houseware department, so everything is possible.

Except actually cook or bake anything as you don't have a working stove or oven etc.

[Anonymous No.15065995]

>>15054965
Gorge myself and try out all the machines

[Anonymous No.15066186]

>>15065931
It's from an old film, I think is about monsters and the people called them chuds. I'm guessing now it just means beta male, uninteresting, fag, cuck boy, incel and any other word to describe that demographic of people. It's the new meme word I think, like dilate and seethe.

[Anonymous No.15066207]

>>15054965
steal all the expensive alcohol and resell it

steal all the ramen since that's the only non perishable shit i like

get groceries for two months

[Anonymous No.15066234]

>>15061900
Sounds fun!

[Anonymous No.15066284]

honestly I would just run around in the open space all night skating on a shopping cart

[Anonymous No.15066286]

>>15054965
Go to sleep.

[Anonymous No.15066336]

>>15054965
I would build candy golems like Candy Wife from the Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack and place them around the store in spooky places. I would also take as much saffron and vanilla beans as I possibly could, and taste lots of fancy chocolate bars to know which ones would be worth buying in the future. I would do the same with many of the weird snacks in the international isle. I might also go into the bakery and play with the cake decorating supplies, its a hassle to do at home but if I didn't have to worry about making the frosting myself, or the clean up it would be easy! I don't think I would want to cook in the grocery store, it sounds like a hassle.
My answer would be different if this is a mega store with a toy, electronic, and sporting goods section.

[Anonymous No.15066958]

>>15054965
I'd go for king crab and lobster - things that I will probably never pay for but that I would like to cook at least once (because I generally just don't like seafood that much, and they are high price-premium seafood).

If there is a liquor section I would sample all of it. ALL OF IT. I'd spit test the entire stock first so that I don't get plastered part way through. One of the worth things about liquor is that there's lots of variety and it's expensive to sample.

I'd probably also sample different ice cream flavours that I haven't had before.

[Anonymous No.15066979]

>>15054965
Probably go hard on the seafood and top shelf whisky. Maybe some fancy ice cream for dessert.
I could easily spend the whole night shelling and eating prawns. With some garlic butter, why not?

[Anonymous No.15066992]

>>15054965
Make a game show on food network

[Anonymous No.15067040]

>>15054965
take single bites out of every single ingredient/product I've always wanted to try. knowledge is power.

[Anonymous No.15067415]

>>15065991
My local grocery store does cooking demos and sells the ingredients right there at the demo station. Basically a whole kitchen right there.

[Anonymous No.15067574]

>>15055009
You will never be a nun or a real woman ever

[Anonymous No.15068238]

>>15054998
epic cringe moment

[Anonymous No.15068240]

>>15054965
I'd probably just taste everything that looked interesting but not enough to purchase.

[Anonymous No.15068664]

I would take a bit of every different put it through the meat grinder and make an every meat giant meat ball.
Spray dishwashing liquid all over the floors then take the fork lift from receiving and start drifting like a mad man.
Make a massive bed out of toilet paper then in the morning set it on fire.

[Anonymous No.15068672]

Get drunk, smoke, and eat. Simple as.

[Anonymous No.15068679]

Drink as much of pic related as I can until my heart stops beating.

[Anonymous No.15068749]

>>15054965
homeless guy did it in some flyover state a few years back. staff found a bunch of empty cans of whipped cream in the trash, looked at the camera footage. homeboy had himself a party
iirc, he got a case of beer and a grill off the shelf, cooked some steaks and shrimp on the grill, got wasted, shit his pants and helped himself to some new clothes, and topped the evening off with about 30 whip its before climbing into the ceiling and passing out
he's my hero

[Anonymous No.15068768]

I’d gorge myself on shredded cheese. Bags upon bags of shredded cheese.

[Anonymous No.15068780]

>>15060731
I’m lactose intolerant. What I’d do is lube up the floor, drunk a gallon of milk, pull down my pants and let my explosive diarrhea propel me across the aisle.

[Anonymous No.15068810]

>>15055003
this plus oiling every floors to go WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.15068833]

>>15068749
Absolutely based

[Anonymous No.15068860]

>>15054965
Honestly i would try like 10 different combos of sliced meats and cheeses (and fruit occasionally too). If I was still hungry Id have a fuckton of delicious crab too.

[Anonymous No.15068909]

>>15054965
I try cooking stuff that's a bit more expensive or that i don't have the tools for at home. stuff like fancy dserts that require a mixer or cook some waygu beef.

[Anonymous No.15068957]

>>15056694
What happened to you?

[Anonymous No.15069362]

>>15054965
i'd probably get plastered on boxed wine and start pissing in containers that i won't remember in the morning, you know the usual.

i mean surely they'd lock their shit up before leaving everything unattended so where would you take a shit if you had to?

[Anonymous No.15069418]

I would do mash potatoes and find the perfect thing to put on it besides parmesan cheese

[Anonymous No.15069423]

>>15069362
Do grocery stores not have public bathrooms where you're from?

Also most grocery stores have night shift employees, so this scenario isn't likely unless it's on Christmas day or some shit

[Anonymous No.15069429]

whiskey bath.

[Anonymous No.15069432]

>>15054965
I would completely reorganize the shelves and mislabel everything, even the aisles.

[Anonymous No.15069478]

Assuming that a range is available to use in a break room. I’d cook a few dishes that I’ve always wanted to try out. Having the produce available. Afterwards I would grab a few containers to store it away and slip out the store with everything I just made. Given if I truly thought out what I wanted to leave with at hand.

[Anonymous No.15069488]

>>15063191
check this fag out

[Anonymous No.15069532]

Honestly I probably wouldn't eat that much. Maybe just make a pizza and that's it.

[Anonymous No.15069603]

>>15056502
>he doesnt know about the grocery store jester

[Anonymous No.15069886]

>>15054998
you would just borrow the cucumber for a little while then

[Anonymous No.15069899]

>>15054965
steal as many peanut butter crackers and pancake mix boxes as i can either carry or fit in my hoodie.

[Anonymous No.15069900]

>>15054965
I would dip tampons in my cum and then repackage them.

[Anonymous No.15069939]

>>15054965
Go to the pharmacy and clean out all the sudafed, pain killers/opiods, stimulants, and anything else that catches my eye. Resell for insane profits.